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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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6915173 No.6915173 [Reply] [Original]

>try to make "caramel chicken", requires a bunch of fish sauce
>buy the $2 grocery store fish sauce because it's all they have
>as soon as the marinated chicken hits the pan, kitchen is filled with the unmistakable stench of unwashed vagina
>literally smells EXACTLY like dirty, crapped vagina
>want to fucking throw up
>smell eventually subsides
>finish making the dish
>it's okay but has way too strong of a fish flavor
>do some research and fish sauce is supposed to impart a nutty/sweet complex flavor, not really a fish flavor at all, and it has all different kinds of grades and nitrogen contents and shit

what the fuck. I'm going to the asian grocery store tomorrow where they probably have 15 types of fish sauce. what should I get?

btw here's the recipe i followed verbatim

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KMVsL0uqBE

>> No.6915266

p-please respond

>> No.6915346

Can't really help you there, fish sauce is pretty much a mystery to me too. I always use just a few drops and yep, that smell is pretty bad. It kinda cooks off though and I guess there something left behind that's actually good. Not sure what it is so I'm always tempted to use a little more next time but then again I'm afraid that smell might actually stay in the dish then..

>> No.6915440

>>6915173
You'll get used to the smell/taste if you keep using it. It is one of the most offputting ingredients for the uninitiated.

My advice is to go full out and make lap kai.

>> No.6915476

Depending where you live there are really only 2-3 big export brands.

I personally like the squid brand packaging, and it's not fucking whisky, so as long as you buy a trusted brand you won't be able to tell the difference.

Yeah, it takes some getting used to, but you've had it many times without knowing it.

>> No.6915528
File: 226 KB, 1000x750, 3-crabs-fish-sauce.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6915528

Best all around brand for me. You're supposed to use fish sauce sparingly, dude.

>> No.6915658

>>6915173

every fish sauce I've ever had has smelled like unwashed vagina

I'm pretty sure it's par for the course

>> No.6915669
File: 60 KB, 700x561, Ripa1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6915669

>>6915173

whenever I have used it, the smell coming off the pan when I first add it is pretty over powering, but it tastes good in the end product

regarding those dirty smelly vaginas you allude to, you need a better class of friends, son

>> No.6915687

>literally smells EXACTLY like dirty, crapped vagina
what

>> No.6915747
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6915747

>>6915669

>> No.6915752

>>6915173
what is a "dirty, crapped vagina?"

>> No.6915767

>>6915528
Is aight. It's supposed to be less funky and complex than a Thai or Vietnamese fish sauce. IIRC, it also has a bit of sugar and hydrolyzed protons that match the Hong Kong palate much better than other fish sauce.

>> No.6915771

>>6915752
It's what happens when the average /ck/ anon wipes themselves, ass to twat.

>> No.6916160

>>6915767
>hydrolyzed protons

we have Stephen Hawking cooking here

>> No.6916200

>>6915173
>"carmel"
>word is clearly caramel

who are these people and how do I end them

>> No.6916233

>>6915173
fish sauce is literally rotten fish put in a blender, strained then jared. what did you think it would smell like

also, chef john is GOAT youtube chef

>> No.6916304

>>6916200
these people are a diamond dozen

>> No.6916324

>>6915173
are you a gril?

>> No.6916347

>>6916233
>rotten
I think you mean fermented

>> No.6916350

>>6916304
Don't be a pre Madonna

>> No.6917341

>>6916233
yeah food wishes is generally great but i can't understand what he was thinking with this recipe

1/3 cup fish sauce?...even if you used the best fish sauce in the entire world it'd make the chicken taste fishy, which it does. i threw away the leftovers which i honestly can't afford to do, it just tastes and smells disgusting

i'd remake the recipe with maybe 1 tsp of fish sauce

>> No.6917346

>>6917341
If you haven't noticed, Chef John doesn't know shit about Asian food. People praise his fat ass without trying the recipes.

>> No.6917348

Buy Red Boat Fish sauce online, best there is in the US tbh

>> No.6917470

>>6917341
Try the brand in your OP. Golden Boy.
Red Boat is great, but I don't cook with it.
For me:
Squid Brand - cooking only
Golden Boy - cooking and finishing
Red Boat - finishing only

>> No.6917475

>>6915173
>as soon as the marinated chicken hits the pan, kitchen is filled with the unmistakable stench of unwashed vagina
>literally smells EXACTLY like dirty, crapped vagina

Goddamn yes, so fucking much. It smells like dirty vagina and feet

>> No.6917484

>>6915173
I'm not following your shill youtube link. First you complain about fish sauce, then link to your "recipe" video which is likely yours. You're trying to get me to buy your patented fish sauce and use it for your recipe but I see through your ruse you fucking ruseman.

>> No.6917833
File: 75 KB, 600x600, squidsauce.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6917833

>>6915173
I use Squid brand fish sauce.
But then I am a dirty Flip, so take that for what it's worth.

>> No.6918198

>>6917833

What's your opinion on all purpose sauce, and banana sauce?

I'm a dirty haole, and have been using both for over a decade.

>> No.6918199

>>6915173
>>6915173
>eating chink food

>> No.6918223

>>6915173
>white people trying to make Asian food

>> No.6918247

>>6915173
>unwashed vagina
actually natty vag is usually pretty good, it's douching that does a lot of harm and leads to rugged vag after ceasing

>> No.6918257

>>6918223

I don't jerk off to "chef" john, like half of /ck/, but what do you honestly have a problem with in OP's video?

I grew up around plenty of Asian people and that recipe was, if anything, a bit more refined than the shit I tried growing up.

>> No.6918287

>>6918257
The recipe is shit. There are essential ingredients he didn't add, shit that doesn't go well he adds, and he fucked up the essential ingredients he did add.

>> No.6918300
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6918300

>>6915173
That's actually a good brand, baby boy from Thailand. Don't smell it straight from the bottle, that's not how it's intended to be used. It needs to boil or stew some an incorporate into the other flavors of the dish.

You might have used too much, it just takes a little of that stuff to give you a blast of flavor right on to flavortown.

>> No.6918306

>>6918287
Yoda you do speak as

>> No.6918308

>>6918287

He basically does super simple recipes, catering to 'murrican tastes, which is why I said I don't understand why half of /ck/ thinks he's so great.

Why don't you enlighten us as to what he did wrong, what doesn't belong, and what's missing?

>> No.6918312

>>6918308
I don't share my Chinese recipes on /ck/.

>> No.6918314

>>6915173
you didn't cook the chicken long enough. were you even listening to chef john? it's called caramel chicken for a reason

>> No.6918320

>>6918312

>not giving hints to at least legitimize your claims of knowing better

>> No.6918322
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6918322

I bought some of pic related because a thai curry recipe i was following required fish sauce. It was the vilest, most disgusting shit i have ever smelled and it ruined the dish. I disposed of the bottle afterwards.

>> No.6918328

>>6918320
The condiments are wrong; he only got soy sauce right

>> No.6918332

> want to make pad thai
> i'm now scared

Thanks.

>> No.6918335
File: 1.02 MB, 1440x900, Calgon-ancient_Chinese_secret.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6918335

>>6918320

>> No.6918339
File: 107 KB, 200x363, thai-sauna.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6918339

>>6918322
You clearly didn't do it right. Don't be a twat.

>> No.6918340

>>6918328

So what do you use to caramelize? Fucking palm sugar?

That's a pretty fucking bold claim to make, saying ginger, fish sauce, sugar, and whatever else are all inauthentic.

>> No.6918341

>>6918340
Not for Pad Thai
You don't have to carmelize anything for Pad Thai, but it's generally made with a gas fired wok so a little carmelization might happen. You're not gonna duplicate that in a simple kitchen.

>> No.6918342

>>6918340
Generally Chinese recipes use maltose syrup to caramelize. This isn't really a secret, you can google it in like a minute.

>> No.6918346

>>6918340
>palm sugar
nope
>ginger, fish sauce, sugar
>ginger, sugar
>condiments
>>6918342
>maltose syrup
nope

>> No.6918348

>>6915173

The way he emphasizes some words drives me crazy.

>> No.6918350

>>6918341

That has little to do with OP's video, and makes it sound as though your only issue is that white people don't cook in a 700 degree wok.

>>6918342

>chinese recipes use maltose syrup to caramelize

So why exactly is maltose syrup better than basic brown sugar? And why is the recipe in the OP Chinese, as opposed to Thai, as the anon above you insinuated?

>> No.6918351

http://importfood.com/videos/034-Dish8.html

Watch a Thai do it, they make it look easy.

>> No.6918354

>>6918350
That must be it and you're always right.

>> No.6918355

>>6918354

What are you even responding too?

>> No.6918356

>>6918350
>And why is the recipe in the OP Chinese
It's not, it's white people food. There's just a superior Chinese recipe that's all.

>> No.6918359

>>6918355
An uptight scumbag like you of course.

>> No.6918368

>>6918356

>there's a superior chinese recipe

Holy shit, I've had the misfortune of working in a few Chinese kitchens, and the recipes are loose as fuck, and really nothing special.

I've also eaten plenty of Thai food, which another anon claimed to be what OP was trying to post...

>>6918359

I'm a who, not a what, and you've made absolutely no point other than the fact that you're an idiot.

I'm gussing you're 'straya?

>> No.6918373

>>6918368
>What are you even responding too?

just stop

>> No.6918374

>>6918368
>American Chinese restaurant
>Nothing special
Color me surprised

>> No.6918375

>>6917346
I love Chef John but I do get the feeling his measurements are off in a lot of his recipes. I usually just use his recipes as a starting point and modify ingredient amounts considerably. Can't say I've run into too many issues that way.

>> No.6918383

>>6918373

>two different posts, from two completely different countries/cuisines
>it's so obvious who you're responding to

Just fuck off anon. You're contributing absolutely nothing.

>> No.6918384

>>6918375
Have you ever considered the possibility that you're a flaming faggit?

>> No.6918385

>>6918374

There's plenty of Chinese people in the States...

>> No.6918389

>>6918383
So say you, which is pretty meaningless.
Are you going to whine in your mother's basement if I post actual Thai stuff?

>> No.6918396
File: 103 KB, 640x433, disgusting-hot_dog-whaaaaaa.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6918396

>>6918383
I'll call the whaaambluance for you, priority one.

>> No.6918404

>>6918389
>>6918396

If you're not going to say what's wrong with the OP recipe, and what you'd do different, you're basically coming off as a 'straya kid shitposter, contributing nothing other than, "hurr I'm trolling the 'murricans (who all happen to be asleep)".

You've pretty much shown that that's what you are, so I'm out.

>> No.6918638

>>6918335
Holy fuck you are old.

>> No.6918668

>>6918638
>ancient Chinese secret

>old

>we don't own this shithaven

>> No.6918986

>>6915476
>so as long as you buy a trusted brand you won't be able to tell the difference

so it is whiskey

>> No.6919134

>>6918308
Him using a half a gallon of fish sauce for one.

>> No.6920321

>>6918198
>All-purpose sauce
Meh. I can take it or leave it.
>Banana sauce
True Patrician-tier. Not enough people know about this. More for us!