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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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6545665 No.6545665 [Reply] [Original]

As of late, I have been purchasing commercially-made hamburgers for barbecuing processes. It began as an action of convenience, but there are various high-quality hamburgers available in many high-quality stores (i.e.: not Wal-Mart).

I must admit that I have been bragging about my barbecuing skills and menus at work, and one of my coworkers essentially invited himself (and the woman he lives with, they are unmarried) to my home for a BBQ dinner.

I purchased three different kinds of hamburgers, including a stuffed variety, venison and bacon, and a more traditional kind. I grilled all three on apple wood charcoal and served them with an array of toppings and condiments along with some grilled vegetables.

The next day, the coworker told others that my meal was, "good, but I don't make my own hamburgers". First of all, I do, I just chose not to that night because I have been working late in an attempt to compensate for slackers (such as he). Secondly, my hamburger selection is impeccable.

He invited me to his home for dinner tonight and his "famous homemade hamburgers" consisted of low-grade ground hamburger beef (the kind that comes in a tube) with iodized salt and pre-ground pepper. That's it. And cooked on propane, no less.

Why do people think that cooking hand-formed patties of low-quality beef is some sort of hallmark of good barbecuing? I could barely choke the dry pucks down and could just imagine the ammonia, non-therapeutic antibiotics, GMO corn-fed, Listeria-laced food-of-the-masses as it polluted my body.

Oh, and his "partner" announced she was pregnant, as if having a bastard child is an accomplishment. A great night indeed, wait until I leak my review of his hosting abilities tomorrow at work.

>> No.6545731

I love your blog. And your Irish stew.

>> No.6545750

>>6545665
You are grilling prefab burgers over store bought briquets, then bragging about your "barbecuing skills"? You are an idiot, and obviously deserve the company you keep.

>> No.6545790

>cook coworker a premade burger
>get upset when coworker says it is premade
>coworker makes real burger
>get further butthurt

How long is your neckbeard OP?

>> No.6545798

>>6545665
Fatty McAutism? Is that you?

>> No.6545861
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6545861

a classic contributor to ck returns. welcome.

>> No.6545866
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6545866

Don't feel bad, Anon, I bet he doesn't even know how to make real Irish stew

>> No.6545869

>>6545861
H2G2 is the best thing ever. :-)
Until that Irish faerie ruined it, anyway.

>> No.6546022

get half way through and think, "this has to be Irish stew"
read comments
> :)

>> No.6546048

>>6546022
I didn't even read it.
I saw the length. I scanned it for certain key words, phrases and general gist. Then I knew it was him and posted >>6545731
I honestly believe that he must be imaginary. How does he keep getting invited to coworker's homes? Why does he continually ignore his personal "rule about not socializing [sic] with coworkers?" (see >>6545866)

Irish stew guy is a fiction. A story. Entirely unreal.

>> No.6546113

>>6545665
I have no idea how you have a job.

>> No.6546123

PLEASE KEEP POSTING

>> No.6546175
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6546175

Either the original Irish Stew guy, or an Anon so impeccable with his mimicry as to be indistinguishable from the original. Either way, 10/10.

>> No.6546201

>>6545665
Should just have told him you couldn't host that day because of reasons, people pushing themselves at you is a big red flag when dealing with anyone. I hope you learned your lesson about socializing with these kind of people.

Just reject any invitation to his house in the future since he clearly is not to be trusted, I mean, who gets pregnant before marriage in the first place?

>> No.6546891

>>6545750
>store bought briquets
apple wood charcoal =/= "briquets"

>> No.6546897
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6546897

>>6545665

>> No.6547084

>>6545866
"Under the pretense of "Irish Stew""

Every time.

>> No.6547091

>>6545665
Oh shit, it's Irish stew guy.

>> No.6547120

>>6545866
I was honestly thinking of this post too when I read the OP.

>> No.6547158

OP, you have set a new bar for autism on 4chan. 10/10.

>> No.6547162

>>6545665
What is the most autistic board on 4chan and why is it /ck/?

>> No.6547167
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6547167

ITT: very new cu/ck/s and those who can appreciate the return of a legend. Welcome back, Irish Stew.

>> No.6547213

You forgot the aurora borealis in your kitchen op. Next time I'm sure you'll get it right and make some steamed hams they'll love.

>> No.6547638
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6547638

>>6545866
Are there any other Irish Stew anon stories?

I could have sworn there was at least one more besides these two but I don't have it saved.

>> No.6547649

>>6547167
oh my god!! irish stew guy thread what a time to be alive!!!

>> No.6547664

I'm so happy right now.

>> No.6547669

>>6545665
>brag day and night about making your own hamburgers.
>coworker wants to try
>you go out and buy premade burgers
>you serve them to your coworker
>he calls you out on not making your own burgers, and rightfully so
>you specifically said you bought premade
>you get assblasted and tell him he's wrong

looks like your retarded to me, op

>> No.6547677

>>6547638
irish stew guy != fatty mcautism

>> No.6547682

My step grandfather knew I liked steak and wanted to impress me. He got some delicious looking ribeyes but then marinated them and cooked to well done. The fuck is this shit? It sure as hell isn't steak. Steak is salt and pepper cooked rare. There is no other way. I still remember him acting like he's hot shit for using a grill and boasting how I would convert from cast iron.

>> No.6547699

>>6547682
Dude's from an era when food safety was a lot less understood and from when really learning to cook wasn't something guys just learned to do unless they were going into a cooking career. It's life.

>> No.6547765

>>6547677
Wow what an epic, funny name! Surely it will catch on if I samefag enough

>> No.6547781
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6547781

>>6547765

>talking shit while being new as fuck

>> No.6547806

>>6547162
This really is the most autidmal board on the internet. I hate it but cannot stop coming here.

>> No.6547820

>>6545665
AAAAAANNNNNNDD....Irish Stew Assburger strikes again.

>> No.6547844

>>6545665
Why do those burgers have grill marks on the side? Did they roll them along the grill or something?

>> No.6547851

>>6547844

I have seen factory produced patties which have fake grill marks applied to them.

Also, food in photographs is rarely real food. It's plastic models & all sorts of other tricks involved. It could be 'shopped, the patties could be fake with the grill lines incorrectly painted on them, etc.

>> No.6548116

Irish stew guy reminds me of the protagonist of confederacy of dunces anybody familiar

>> No.6548539

>>6547084
>"Under the pretense of "Irish Stew""
hahahaha

>> No.6548652

>>6545665
Op find a butcher near you and get the burger he sells. That where I get mine, and I grew up on them too. I refuse to eat anything else.

>> No.6550573

>>6548652
Do you mean just buy the ground hamburger meat or do all butchers usually sell premade hamburgers?

>> No.6550585

>>6550573
Not him, but most if not all butchers in my area that sell beef will sell their own preformed burger patties.

There are several dozen butchers near me, but not all of them deal with beef. Two do pork only, one does pork and poultry and another poultry alone.

The only one I can think of that deals in beef but doesn't sell preformed burgers is a Tunisian butcher around the corner from me.

>> No.6550597

>>6548116
yup

>> No.6550600

>>6547638

There's a lasagna one and a Superbowl party one

>> No.6550617

>>6548116
Holy shit......

>> No.6551221

>>6550600
>There's a lasagna one and a Superbowl party one
someone please post these!

>> No.6551231

>>6547677
it's obviously the same anon that makes these stories

>> No.6551244

>>6546048
Yeah we know. Stop stating the obvious and enjoy the stories he posts now and then aspie.

>> No.6551327

>>6551221
At work on Friday, my coworker was talking about how happy he was that his mother was visiting on the weekend because she was making her "special lasagna recipe". He talked about it at length and I told him lasagna is rather simple to make and I couldn't see it being that "special".

Today, he brought in lasagna for other coworkers and gave me 1/4 of a piece he gave them so that I would, "know why it is special".

It tasted like generic lasagna. He asked me how it tasted and had an almost triumphant expression. Knowing the answer, I asked him if she made her own sauce and pasta. He said no, but she spices and customizes it herself.

I then asked him how he considered it her "special recipe" when she basically assembled pre-made, store-bought ingredients. He tried to hide it, but it was obvious he was upset and realized that I had won this time. He avoided eye contact when he walked past my desk 10 minutes ago. I definitely won.

This experience has gotten me thinking: what do you consider home-made? Obviously I would not expect someone to grow and mill their own flour to make pasta, but there is an obvious medium between that and throwing together processed foods and calling it your "special recipe".

Discuss.

>> No.6551331

>>6545665
Hey Irish stew guy I have a request. For the next story can you do a McDonald's type one again where you have a run in with a server? That would seem more authentic since it's hard to believe you keep getting invited to these social events. Just a suggestion.

>> No.6551332

>>6551221
Today I found out that I was not invited to the Super Bowl party being hosted by one of my coworkers. Most of the office seems to be going and I only found out because an intern asked me if I was going.

I would have liked to go so that I could make a great dish that would show everyone up, but I obviously must have committed serious faux pas at previous social functions or made the host jealous by my efficiency at work. Nevertheless, I plan on showing my petty coworkers that I did not miss out on their little corporate franchise sporting event party.

I plan on making some foods that would be good for a Super Bowl party and also taste good when reheated the next day. I want to bring the leftovers in on Monday for lunch and imply I hosted my own party.

What are sorts of foods that meet these criteria (common Super Bowl foods that would be good as leftovers)? I was thinking of doing a small pot of chili, small roasted red pepper sandwiches, and spicy chicken wings.

Any suggestions?

>> No.6551333

>>6551221
I will be the first to admit that even though I am receptive to social nuances and subtle body/facial/vocal cues I can sometimes be socially eccentric.

On Friday night I was invited to my supervisor's home for a dinner party. There were 3 couples and myself present. I can be somewhat picky, so I asked what the meal would consist of. Oddly enough, my supervisor said he would make shepherd's pie.

I was looking forward to this, because shepherd's pie is one of my favorite things to make. I am quite good at it.

Instead of bringing a salad or dessert I decided to make shepherd's pie and take advantage of lamb in my freezer that I bought from a previous sale. I spent the day making it and was quite excited about bringing it.

The reception was mixed. People seemed pleased on the surface, but I think my supervisor was a little perturbed. I think he was insulted or thought I was being competitive. He did not say this, but I was using my sense of empathy afterwards when I was replaying his body language and reaction and came to this conclusion.

Despite being far superior, most people ate the dish that the host made. His consisted of ground beef while mine was a true shepherd's pie with a very nice gravy on the side. There is no reason to chose his over mine aside for social obligation and perceived politeness.

Was my choice of dish offensive or am I over-intellectualizing the night?