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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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6519101 No.6519101 [Reply] [Original]

As soon as I cracked the lid of Campbell's® Everyday Gourmet® (formerly "Creations®") Korean Beef Noodle With Vegetable soup, I knew I was in for a bad experience. Even as I write this review, the salty, pervasive stench of soy and sesame still lingers in my room, penetrates my nostrils and, with every breath I draw, reminds me of my mistake. I knew and yet, lie a true masochist, I pushed on with the experiment. As I poured the contents of the can into a small pot , the rich brown colour of the broth, along with its bits of vegetables, meat and noodles, reminded me of diarrhea, a foreboding sight indeed. After a perfunctory bit of heating, the soup, now wafting its revolting emanations all over my home, was ready to be eaten.

If you want to get an approximation of the taste without having to give the Campbell's® corporation your hard earned dime, here is a simple recipe that, I think, encapsulates the experience pretty well. Pour enough salt in a bowl that it forms a small mountain of white crystals. Next, add just enough soy sauce over the salt that it reaches the point of saturation. Toss in a few spoonfuls of sesame seed oil, then add sesame seeds as well. For meat and noodles, just throw in a bit of wet dog food and a handful of linguine and you should have it. Heat and serve. I would love to describe this soup as inedible and yet, almost as if it were a challenge, I spitefully gulped it down to the last drop, reminding myself with every spoonful that children all over the world would today die of hunger. How I envied them.

(cont.1/2)

>> No.6519107

>>6519101

(cont. 2/3, longer than I thought)

This soup is, in its own way, an insult to both Koreas and their rich culinary culture. Even the North Koreans, who lack for food and are dying of famine by the millions, could probably scrounge together a better mixture than this. It is one of those products that I cannot understand the existence of. It is almost as if it had been exclusively designed as a trap, made to be bought only once by gullible fools such as myself and then taken off the market, a quick experiment in the power of novelty. "Neat," they believed people would say, "I've never tried that flavour before! An aromatic chili-garlic beef broth with shaved beef and egg noodles? That sounds good to me! Surely this isn't a cheap trick of rhetoric. Surely Campbell's®, the company which was so famously immortalized by visionary genius Andy Warhol™ in a series of groundbreaking paintings, would not put out a new flavour of soup without doing its due diligence. Campbell's® is a name I can trust, a synonym for rigorous attention to detail and quality soups, not a corporate leviathan hellbent on making profits and nothing else." Sadly, in my case, they were right. The deception worked.

>> No.6519110

>>6519107

(cont. 3/3)

I might imagine the creators of this vile concoction not proud, as Dr. Frankenstein was of his monster, but cynical and filled with dread, just as physicist Robert Oppenheimer described the dropping of the atomic bomb on Japan: "We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita... "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."

I understand that it might sound facetious to compare a soup with an engine of mass destruction and yet, the potential is there. I am not a healthy man. "Overweight" would not be an unfair description of my body type. One could certainly say that, having found no purpose in life yet lacking the constitution for suicide, I am actively drinking, smoking and eating myself to an early grave. However, even I can't abide the dizzyingly unhealthy 2095 milligrams of sodium (86% of one's daily allowance) contained in a single can of this deadly potion.

In conclusion, I give this soup the lowest possible score of 0/10 and warn anyone who would consider buying this witches' brew to stay away.

For the love of God, stay away.

>> No.6519188
File: 218 KB, 736x432, tomato-history-and-origins-campbell-soup-andy-warhol.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6519188

While I'm at it, I feel the need to address the link between Andy Warhol and the Campbell's corporation. I feel like Campbell's has been riding high on those paintings for a while now. It has never been explicitly stated or addressed, but it's definitely part of their lore. Some people at Campbell's are for sure proud of those paintings and feel associated with them, almost like they had something to do with them, like they inspired a great genius somehow and have their place in the pantheon of art.

>> No.6519206

That was the most extensive soup review /ck/ has ever seen. Thank you OP, your suffering will not go in noticed.

>> No.6519243

>>6519206
Just don't buy the soup.

>> No.6519254

>>6519101
maybe that's what they were going for: something so awful you'll tell your friends and they'll buy a can for the novelty!

0/10 sure sounds more interesting than like 4/10

>> No.6519281

>>6519101>>6519107
>>6519110
>>6519188

I feel like I'm reading a sophomore college students essay. Did you turn it in? Did you get a good grade?

>> No.6519283

Well, you've done it now, OP. I'm gonna actively seek this out next time I'm at the supermarket.
God help me, I will.

>> No.6519289

>>6519281
No and no. I'm glad you think my prose is college-level though. ;^)

>>6519283
Don't do it to yourself, my friend. Don't you do it.

>> No.6519319

>>6519289

I will eat this soup just to confirm your findings OP.

>> No.6519327

So are you just a masochist with food, or does being hurt turn you on as well?

>> No.6519336

>>6519283
Same here.

You've got me interested too OP. I shall be giving a little bit of my money to Campbell's® in the next day or 2 to try this soup for myself.

Thanks for the recommendation!

>> No.6519343

Holy shit this thread is going to explode on Wednesday after everyone tries it. Then it will look like the flavor is popular so the stores will order more and Campbells will keep making it.

>> No.6519346

I've yet to try that kind, I usually only buy from their low sodium offerings, but I've never had a problem. Maybe you got a bad one.

>> No.6519347

>>6519319
>>6519336
>>6519343
NO THIS IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WANT YOU FOOLS

>> No.6519350

>>6519347
OP, you had to see this coming. Even I'm tempted to try it. It can't possibly be THAT bad.

>> No.6519352

>>6519347
I'll try it too!

>> No.6519354

>>6519347
reverse psychology viral marketing ahhhh noooo

>> No.6519355

>>6519350
I guess. In the end I don't really care.
And yes, it is that bad. Worst soup I've ever had by far.

>> No.6519430

Oh my fucking god I am so high and I laughed so fucking hard at this thread op I love you

>> No.6519434

>>6519430
But to be fair.....chunky chicken n dumplings soup is fucking good

>> No.6519668

>>6519434
Most Chunky soup are at least O.K. except the ones with that weird tasting "spicy" sausage they put in some of them.

>> No.6519672

>>6519347
OP, please. We need way more subjects and data for you to get a proper grade.

GODSPEED MEN

>> No.6519685

>>6519668
If those shitty cans of soup are on sale for like $1.50 or so each(cheaper if i get store brand), I buy 2 and some rice and can get about 4-5 days eating out of that. They might be sodium bombs but a can of cheap "chunky" soup and a big bowl of rice can have me eating like a king for 2 days. God dammit, typing this up makes me feel so pathetic. Now my Captcha is soup, but captcha is fucked, Pad Thai aint fuckin soup nigga.

>> No.6519691

>>6519685
I feel you bro. I feel you.

>> No.6519701

>>6519110
>Robert Oppenheimer described the dropping of the atomic bomb on Japan
>A few people laughed
well then

>> No.6519706

I refuse to read a review of anything make in a 1000 gallon or bigger tank.

>> No.6519800

>>6519701
They were probably just nervous.

>> No.6519927

>>6519706
Weird philosophy but ok.

>> No.6519932
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6519932

>>6519101

>> No.6519987

>>6519932
Thanks. Love your genuine compliment.

>> No.6520012

>>6519706
> i never read wine reviews

>> No.6520067

Made me shit the bed. You better review shit regularly, fat boy.

>> No.6520925

>>6520067
Eh. Too lazy.

>> No.6520958

>>6519347
Too late, my curiosity will not let me sleep until I try this soup

>> No.6521369

meme soup

>> No.6523004

My dad is like a son to me.

>> No.6524674

So did anyone actually try the thing?