/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.6264556]

ITT wifey material

[Anonymous No.6264566]

her husband will die from heart disease soon

[Anonymous No.6264571]

>>6264556
Okay. Now I know these types of posts are feminist bait. There's no way anyone would look at that plate of vomit and hard boiled eggs and think it's good. No one. It's impossible.

[Anonymous No.6264573]

>>6264556
Jesus Christ. Keep her in the kitchen, she may learn something.
That would look better coming out of your ass than it did going in.

[Anonymous No.6264574]

>>6264571
You don't even know. My boyfriend is a vegetarian who hates most vegetables. His favorite things are mac and cheese, corn, scrambled eggs, grilled cheese....Just dairy and sugar and starch.

[Anonymous No.6264575]

>>6264571
get rid of the eggs and replace with tater tots and you have my roommate's go to dinner

[Anonymous No.6264576]

"I know how to keep my man picking up take out on the way home so I don't have to cook"

[Anonymous No.6264580]

I would be okay with corn and hardboiled eggs, but I would never serve it to someone as dinner. Also, get the fuck out of here with those styrofoam plates. Washing dishes won't kill you.

[Anonymous No.6264581]

Isn't there a better name for this than "wifey material"? I mean,what we are really discussing is the antithesis of "wifey material" right?

Basically, mismatched amalgams of food stuffs, generally canned or simple to make, presented as something valuable

>>6264571
I'd eat it if I was hungry enough. It's just a can of corn with two boiled eggs and some Velveeta mac and cheese on the side. Presentation has a lot to do with it. I think if we swapped most of the corn on the plate with a piece of sausage or something like that, it might make a decent quick meal. I'm just not big on canned corn.

[Anonymous No.6264583]

>>6264574
>>6264575
Jesus......I don't even....what....

[Anonymous No.6264596]

>>6264581
>Isn't there a better name for this than "wifey material"? I mean,what we are really discussing is the antithesis of "wifey material" right?

It's just a cue to dump images of horrible meals prepared by girls saying "#wifey material" and the like

[Anonymous No.6264597]

>>6264583
i forgot to mention that he dips the tots in BBQ sauce

[Anonymous No.6264601]

>>6264596
oh, the hashtag. that makes sense. I have never twitter, but I am sure it's comedy gold

[Anonymous No.6264607]

>>6264597
sounds better than ketchup

[Anonymous No.6264609]

>>6264574
>My boyfriend is a vegetarian who hates most vegetables.

What in the actual fuck?

[Anonymous No.6264614]

>>6264597
Goddamn it. How do you not just slap that shit out of his hand?

[Anonymous No.6264617]

whoa, dont overdo it with those noodles now.

[Anonymous No.6264623]

>>6264609
He's vegetarian for moral reasons but he doesn't like a lot of actual vegetables, so he mostly eats grains, beans, and dairy. Or those processed fake-meat vegetable products that pretend to be hamburgers and chicken tenders.

[Anonymous No.6264634]

This shit illustrates that standards really do not exist. One man's most depressing meal ever could make another man go, "Imma marry that girl."

But let's not forget while laughing at the less fortunate that there are plenty of people in the world who would look at some of the meals we get excited about and die a little on the inside.

[Anonymous No.6264643]

>>6264617
seriously

>7 spiral noodles in velveeta
>but an entire fucking can of corn

Must be gluten intolerant

[Anonymous No.6264646]

>>6264574
I know a guy like this. All he eats is french fries, cheese quesadillas , and lettuce covered in ranch.

[Anonymous No.6264649]

>>6264643
It's the two boiled eggs against all that canned corn that really put it over the top, though.

[Anonymous No.6264657]

>>6264649
For me it was the canned corn. The way it is obviously like a whole can just BAM, and it has spread all over the plate and infiltrated the other items. If there was like 1/3 the corn and the eggs were sliced, it would probably look like a totally decent quick meal to many people.

Presentation really has a lot to do with it.

[Anonymous No.6264666]

>>6264657
>Presentation really has a lot to do with it.
The colors, too. The white styrofoam, the white eggs, the pale orange cheesy spirals... What will tie the whole thing together? Yellow! Lots of fucking yellow! Bust out that corn.

[Anonymous No.6264674]

>>6264623
>going out with a vegetarian
>going out with a moralfag vegetarian
guuurl.

[Anonymous No.6264682]

>>6264556
is that a Styrofoam plate?

[Anonymous No.6264685]

>>6264623
>chicken tenders
it's pronounced ten-dies

[Anonymous No.6264691]

>>6264685
Do we know if he has any good-boy points?

[Anonymous No.6264711]

>>6264623
>he mostly eats grains, beans, and dairy

This is like fucking oposit of paleo diet.
Read about it or your boyfriend will die.

[Anonymous No.6264723]

>>6264666

I would have gone with peas, frozen, not tinned. tinned peas are fucking awful.

[Anonymous No.6264803]

What saddens me is the sincerity coupled with complete inability in these pictures. And I'm reminded how tfw no go.

[Anonymous No.6264863]

>>6264574

sounds like my ex except he wasn't a vegetarian. just doesn't crave meat or like vegetables... only simple carbs and cheese. no wonder he's so meek and glum all the time.

[Anonymous No.6264878]

>>6264556
The Styrofoam plate is really what makes that picture.

[Anonymous No.6264883]

>>6264691

At least he's a rich skinny guy.

[Anonymous No.6264933]

people really use cardboard plates and plastic forks on a daily basis? Why?

[Anonymous No.6264935]

>>6264723

i fucking love canned peas. heat em and eat like soup, add spices.

[Anonymous No.6264959]

>>6264556
>Meet grill
>Some dates and is nice
>Say I can cook something next time
>Cook curry pork and rice with greens
>Literally pork, curry powder, and can of coconut milk
>Oh wow this is great anon, I can't cook at all. I always like eat trader joes frozen meals or sandwiches. TJ has pretty good frozen
Help.

[Anonymous No.6264979]

>>6264623
but milk is pretty much as unethical as meat? Especially if you're substituting most meals with cheese and egg products

[Anonymous No.6264997]

>>6264979
I'm not sure. I think cows get ornery if they're not milked like sheep.
Since meat involves killing something and eating it, or just cutting off part of the still-living creature and having it suffer, I'd say meat is like a 6 on the cruelty scale and milk is a 1. It's only not a 0 because that milk belongs to baby cows and you're stealing it.

[Anonymous No.6265004]

>>6264979
How is squeezing a titty as bad as killing?

[Anonymous No.6265028]

>>6264997
>>6265004
The average domesticated dairy cow produces far more milk than would be required to feed their calf. All cows, wild and domesticated, will only lactate in the period between their calf's birth and weaning. Milk is calf-food, and when there's no calf, there's no evolutionary advantage in producing milk.

On dairy farms, cows are milked twice daily, from spring (when they give birth) until late autumn. This mechanical milking 'fools' the cow into continuing to lactate. When a cow has stopped lactating, they will only start again after giving birth. This means that you can't just start milking a cow and expect to get milk.

Generally farmers milk their cows from spring (birth) until late autumn. The reason for stopping in autumn is simply because the grass grows much slower in winter, so there isn't enough food to support lactating cows. However, it is entirely possible to milk longer than a year; I know of farmers who milk their cows continuously for two years. These farmers will have to purchase a lot of supplimental food (like hay or silage) during winter. The advantage of milking for longer than one season is that the cows do not have to give birth every spring, but instead only every second spring.

[Anonymous No.6265054]

My wife doesn't know how to cook shit, I guess I'm wifey material

[Anonymous No.6265091]

>>6264556
Every mans favorite: a plate of yellow.

[Anonymous No.6265114]

>>6264574
>Vegetarian
>scrambled eggs

oh the hypocrisy

[Anonymous No.6265122]

I am wifey material. It's a shame my boyfriend is kind of apathetic towards my ways.
I wish he was more appreciative and fussed about my cooking like my ex did. :(

Picture in the OP looks horrible

[Anonymous No.6265130]

>>6265122
I believe the expression is tits or gtfo

[Anonymous No.6265131]

>>6265114
eggs arent meat m8

[Anonymous No.6265135]

>>6265130
I thought that only applied to /b/ or /r9k/?

What kind of wifey material would I be if I posted tits?

[Anonymous No.6265213]

>>6265004

because rape is worse than murder, obviously.

[Anonymous No.6265221]

>>6264574
He's rich right? Is his dick huge? There has to be a catch, why date autism?

[Anonymous No.6265223]

>>6264623
>He
I'm not sure if he qualifies for that anymore.

[Anonymous No.6265227]

>>6264566
Maybe that's her evil goal. The hubby might be very rich and she wants his money to perpetuate her evil schemes!
Watch out for the lawn boy!

It's like some plot from a Columbo episode.

[Anonymous No.6265302]

>>6264580
THIS.

Get a decent set of dishware/silverware. Fucking trash produces make me sick.

[Anonymous No.6265395]

>>6264711

>This is like fucking oposit of paleo diet.

So it's a good diet then

[Anonymous No.6265425]

>corn

[Anonymous No.6265450]

>>6264556
I don't get this wifey material shit. Like, what exactly are you so proud of here that you'd need to take pictures and splatter your instagram and facebook with them? Is it supposed to be ironic?

Cooking simple meals that are yummy and also reasonably healthy really isn't hard, and you have a bajillion blogs and video tutorials at you disposal as a learning resource. Otherwise, this is just so fucking embarrassing. I cringe and feel bad for their bfs/husbands/whateverthefuck.

[Anonymous No.6265470]

extremely overweight girl i went to school with constantly posts pictures of her "cooking"
this is the only one tagged #wifeymaterial but it's not her worst

will post moar

[Anonymous No.6265475]

>>6265470
#chefkellz

[Anonymous No.6265477]

>>6265475

[Anonymous No.6265480]

>>6265475
I dont think the hotdog was cooked long enough

Slap some ketchup on it and it's almost good enough

[Anonymous No.6265482]

>>6265477
this looks like a pile of vomit

[Anonymous No.6265491]

>>6265475
>>6265477
>look up #chefkellz on facebook
>find this

i thought fat people knew how to cook

[Anonymous No.6265495]

>>6265477
>those burnt meat pucks
>>6265475
>mushy potatoes
>macaroni salad
>burnt burger
>>6265470
>all that dressing
>using cream-based dressing and not vinaigrettes
>that pile of mayo or god knows what

[Anonymous No.6265498]

>>6265491
Most don't, why do you think we get fat? I do, but I'm not a woman...

[Anonymous No.6265499]

>>6264649
That she can boil eggs puts her startlingly far ahead of the pack of lazy useless bitches

[Anonymous No.6265500]

>>6264959
Show her how it's done, and if she doesn't refuses to learn I think you know what you have to do.

[Anonymous No.6265509]

>>6265491
I have a problem with literally everything in this picture
>unfinished wall
>leggings
>expensive vacuum cleaner obviously not used
>clothes everywhere
>filtered beyond this dimension
>hanging a plant from the ceiling (I don't even want to know what they anchored it with)
>scarf indoors
>those boots about to split wide open
>PHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

[Anonymous No.6265511]

>>6265499
garuan-fucking-tee the yolks are burnt

[Anon No.6265513]

>>6265477
What the fuck? That shit looks nasty. Those "meatballs" look like gray slabs of mystery meat. Nasty.

[Anonymous No.6265514]

>>6265477
ihate when people post their slop online like i wanna lose my appetite

[Anonymous No.6265521]

>>6265477
i went back even more, i wish i hadn't ;-;

[Anonymous No.6265524]

>>6265521
>weightlossjourney
>literally huge fucking dollops of mayo and HFCS sauce

Holy fuck kill me now

[Anonymous No.6265530]

#wifeymaterial<3

[Anonymous No.6265535]

>>6265521
>#weightlossjourney

[Anonymous No.6265543]

>>6265530
could you fucking not

[Anonymous No.6265545]

>>6265530
Literally looks like vomit, Kellz.

[Anonymous No.6265547]

>>6265491
i fucking hate poor people

[Anonymous No.6265548]

>>6265545
can confirm, i've had vomits that look like that "pasta" topping before. sorry, kellz.

[Anonymous No.6265560]

>>6265475
>>6265477
>>6265521
>>6265530
I'm one photo away from puking.

[Anonymous No.6265561]

>>6265530
How the fuck do you turn meat that color? Is it turkey?

[Anonymous No.6265566]

>>6265561
I didn't ever realise there was meat there, lel.

[Anonymous No.6265570]

The funny thing is that most meals tagged #wifeymaterial look likt something that would make me wonder what I did to offend the cook if it were served to me. The stuff is almost always the most contemptuously thrown together collections of the cheapest possible ingredients.

But it isn't ironic. The people posting this shit actually think such barely half-assed efforts at "home cooked meals" are not only laudable, but actually make them something of a catch for the poor bastard who has to eat it. And the scary thing is he might think so as well.

[Anonymous No.6265572]

>>6265530
Looks like raw hamburger helper

[Anonymous No.6265577]

>>6265530
I cannot identify half of this plate

[Anonymous No.6265578]

>>6265491
They don't even know how to eat.

[Anonymous No.6265580]

>>6265560
here you go
make sure you let us know if your vomit looks like
>>6265530
thanks

[Anonymous No.6265583]

>>6265572
it looks like she took the noodles out of the box and just made the hamburger part

[Anonymous No.6265587]

>>6264556
>corn
blech

Corn should be treated as a starch and not a veggie.

[Anonymous No.6265606]

>>6265587
idk how people can eat corn and call themselves healthy

if you shit it out whole, your body literally doesn't want it people , fuck .

[Anonymous No.6265616]

>>6265580

so much for #weightlossjourney

[Anonymous No.6265628]

>>6265616
srsly

[Anonymous No.6265634]

>>6265616
To be fair, I too would drown my food in sauce if it looked this disgusting. Even the toast looks odd, somehow.

[Anonymous No.6265639]

>>6265634
slathered in margarine, no doubt

[Anonymous No.6265640]

>>6264556
>thinking this isn't b8

[Anonymous No.6265646]

>>6265639
I thought it was butter, but yeah.

[Anonymous No.6265663]

>>6264959
Go to your local used book store and buy her a copy of the Joy of Cooking.

[Anonymous No.6265667]

>>6264574
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Neu3_4MeGls

[Anonymous No.6265677]

>>6265491
Just the opposite, actually. Obese people are typically more likely to not know how to cook, which explains their poor diets. Lots of process, packaged foods, takeout, fast food, etc.

[Anonymous No.6265687]

I don't understand how this kind of people don't just follow a recipe. They clearly have no skills, so why don't they just follow exactly what someone capable say they should do?

[Anonymous No.6265690]

>>6265547
But you are poor.

[Anonymous No.6265695]

>>6265677
This. They think they get a gold star for boiling eggs and opening a few cans, because that's more "homemade" than a frozen pizza (or two).

[Anonymous No.6265710]

It's a southern thing. People will throw together the cheapest Wal-Mart bullshit like Kraft Easy Mac, Hamburger Helper, canned bullshit, processed bullshit, Mountain Dew, light beer, etc. and then have the audacity to say they are getting a "Down home, home cooked meal".

WTF is wrong with Murgra?

[Anonymous No.6265714]

>>6265634
Well no shit the toast looks odd, it's enriched Wonder Bread, not fresh from the oven Italian loaves.

[Anonymous No.6265716]

>>6265687
>why don't they just follow exactly what someone capable say they should do?
Because the kind of recipes they are familiar with involve nuking a can of Ro-Tel with some Velveeta or mixing dehydrated onion soup with sour cream to make a chip dip.

We're talking about people that far gone. It's not just that their mothers didn't cook, their grandmothers didn't, either. They have no reference point for what home cooking is.

It would be incredibly sad if it weren't so fucking hilarious.

[Anonymous No.6265725]

>>6264933
Too lazy to cook, too lazy to clean.

[Anonymous No.6265734]

>wifey material

[Anonymous No.6265737]

>>6265475
I had a friend from Texas who made food that looked like this. He eventually hooked up with an Irish girl who was an even worse cook. He committed suicide.

[Anonymous No.6265746]

>>6265734
Not even mad. It's passable.

[Anonymous No.6265751]

>>6265734
Compared to everything else in this thread that looks okay.

[Anonymous No.6265757]

>>6265746
If you'd accept your "wifey" cooking meals worthy of a community college cafeteria.

[Anonymous No.6265770]

>>6265757
i have a feeling you couldn't attract a woman anyways

[Anonymous No.6265771]

>>6265757
You know what, you stay single forever then.

[Anonymous No.6265776]

Tonight I want Linguine with shrimp BABY

[Anonymous No.6265805]

>>6264571
As a one time thing to try? Sure.
As something more than that? No.
Quoting /mlp/ :
>No, Anon, NO! Not the Parmesan, NEVER the Parmesan!
Also this is not even complete and placed wrong.
Moar Mac&Cheez for the Mac&Cheez God as the main, then some corn to the side, eggs with mayo and salt to the side of that + preffered drink would be an actualy edible meal
P.S. I cooked like fife times in my whole life and even that for lulz and i can cook better than that.
P.P.S. I am a male.

[Anonymous No.6265809]

>>6265776
why is there so much liquid
it's grossing me out

[Anonymous No.6265818]

>>6265805
five*
Also forgot link to OP
>>6264556

[Anonymous No.6265827]

>>6265770
>>6265771
My wife grinds her own grain to bake bread. She takes care of the garden where we grow our vegetables. We don't ever buy paper napkins, because she keeps cloth napkins, and sees to it they're laundered every week. She would balk at eating a meal with a plastic fork long before I would. Styrofoam only comes into the house when I buy it; she never would.

That, my friends is #wifeymaterial.

[Anonymous No.6265866]

>>6265827
>my wife grinds her own grain to bake bread

tfw you're not living the DINK life

[Anonymous No.6265890]

>>6264574
this is what my dad ate if you change grilled cheese with mozzerella sticks

he died at 60 with a heart embolism

[Anonymous No.6266047]

>>6265757
Why the hate on community colleges? Many of them are very good schools and vastly cheaper than 4 year universities. Enjoy working retail with your 4 year degree and $200,000 debt while the community college graduate is pulling in $90,000 a year with his associate's in a trade skill.

[Anonymous No.6266055]

>>6265827
If this is true, keep her. My relationship is just like yours except reverse. I tend our garden and cook delicious meals and can't stand one-use, straight to the trash crap while my gs would prefer to just order pizza every night and bulk styrofoam plates and go through 50 napkins per meal. It's really wasteful.

[Anonymous No.6266068]

I wish I hadn't clicked this thread but keep 'em coming. Top kek.

[Anonymous No.6266080]

>>6265734
Chicken is ok but the veggies are over cooked.

[Anonymous No.6266082]

It's taken my mom nearly 30 years to learn how to cook.

Why are men so much better at cooking?

[Anonymous No.6266084]

>>6266082
because when men bother to learn we are serious about it.

[Anonymous No.6266091]

>>6266082
Men actually try

My mom still doesn't put salt in anything she cooks because "that's how i did it when you were a baby"

[Anonymous No.6266097]

>>6264623

Break up with him and go out with me instead. I have taste.

[Anonymous No.6266105]

>>6266091
>My mom still doesn't put salt in anything she cooks because "that's how i did it when you were a baby"

What

Is your mother a cat?

[TomatoGlaze No.6266111]

Contributing. I'm really hoping that guy was being sarcastic.

[Anonymous No.6266112]

>>6266105
You're not supposed to give kids salt for the first 6-12 months, and since she made all our baby food I can kinda understand forgetting to add salt to whatever for a little while. But 20 years later? Just insane.

[Anonymous No.6266131]

>>6266111
I'd eat these trips.

[H.Q.S.S.G No.6266140]

>>6266111
>lemon #chicken w seasoning
>w seasoning
no fucking shit. what's the purpose in pointing this out? of course it's fucking seasoned

[Anonymous No.6266147]

>>6266140
To let all their normie social media friends know the extent of their cooking effort. Pointing it out is entirely purposeful, it is to garner attention.

[Anonymous No.6266219]

>>6265776
the shrimp can still swim around in that puddle of liquid

[Anonymous No.6266236]

>>6264997
What do you think happens to the baby cow from which we steal the milk? If it's male it is killed, and the mother goes into hysterics.

[Anonymous No.6266238]

>>6265734
Is that like 1/100 of an onion on the chicken?

[Anonymous No.6266291]

>tfw my brother has a gf and they live in a small apartment in the city and every night they cook really nice meals together.
I hate my life.

[Anonymous No.6266386]

>>6265805
Why did you have to remind me that place exists ._.

[Anonymous No.6266408]

>>6266291

>not being happy for your brother for being economically stable with someone he loves

Not cool bro.

[Anonymous No.6266521]

>>6266408
you can still envy someone while wishing that everything goes well for them.

[Anonymous No.6266532]

>>6265606
Because you don't chew properly. Corn kernels have an outer layer of cellulose that humans can't digest. If you swallow a kernel unchewed, it will come out undigested.

[Anonymous No.6266547]

I translate it.
The name of the food: Bear's Honey (Mишкин Meдoк).
So she called her recipe. Below, she writes that the whole family really enjoyed it.

[Anonymous No.6266550]

>>6266547
b-but what IS it?

[Anonymous No.6266555]

>>6266550
She sayd its chocolate butter, egg yolks, Dijon mustard, cashew nuts.
And this all blanded poured on a cheeseburger.

[Anonymous No.6266561]

>>6266555
>chocolate butter, egg yolks, Dijon mustard, cashew nuts
wow

[Anonymous No.6266574]

>>6266547
to be fair its probably one of those things that shouldnt exist and look bad but are really tasty. but come on.. it looks like diarrhea

[Anonymous No.6266575]

The inscription on the price tag: chiken pies with capelin.

Yes, its dont have a chicken. Main riddle of this picture - why it's called chiken pies?

[BioMed !!1JEgcrDzIzk No.6266577]

>>6265131
most vegeterians and vegeterian due to moral reasons, very few of them delude themselves into thinking it's actually healthy. thing is, for eggs/milk to be produced animals still die in the process, making eating eggs and milk while refusing to eat meat a hypocrisy

[Anonymous No.6266584]

Yey! Unicorn!

[Anonymous No.6266587]

>>6265499
Anyone can hard boil eggs, but few people can hard boil eggs properly.

[Anonymous No.6266595]

It died for our sins

[Anonymous No.6266600]

wife material? seriously. Fuck you and to all the women who go out of their ways to cook a good fucking meal. You can't even serve it on a nice plate, it's served up on a paper plate... Get a fucking job so that you can buy some real plates and real cutlery, and then you cook him some real food.

I hope your husband leaves you. Wife material, if your husband is a fucking pig in a pen.

[Anonymous No.6266602]

>>6265475
>>6265477
>>6265521
>>6265530

[Anonymous No.6266604]

Tags on this screenshot said its pancakes.

[Anonymous No.6266615]

Sandwiches with kiwi and mayonnaise

[Anonymous No.6266617]

[Anonymous No.6266619]

>>6266615
that doesn't look too bad..

>>6266617
ok waht the fuck is that

[Anonymous No.6266633]

>>6266619
>ok waht the fuck is that
Baba ganoush. I don't know what is it.

[Anonymous No.6266638]

Tomato with buckwheat porridge

[Anonymous No.6266640]

>>6264556
Dude, i’m gonna type as sober as possible, that honestly looks fucking pathetic and digusting compared to my meal. and I’m being one hundred percent serious. Sorry we dont cook shit that was perviously in cans. you’re a fucking joke dude, and im dead fucking serious. get a real family that cooks good food, drinks beer and wine and winecoolers and has a good fucking time, and has a million dollar house on the beach, im seriously.. dont ever post your fucking poverty dinner on these forums ever the fuck again bro, and by bro i mean never my bro, fucking phaggot.

[Anonymous No.6266643]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dressed_herring

[Anonymous No.6266645]

and moar dressed herring

[Anonymous No.6266647]

DRESSED HERRING EVERY DAY!

[Anonymous No.6266651]

>>6264571
My SO loves the fuck out of corn, hes would probably eat it and enjoy it. I'm not a big corn fan but I'd take those eggs.

I mean it's lent right now, two hard boiled eggs is the best I can hope to eat during daytime hours, really it's more than I should be eating.

[Anonymous No.6266655]

Herring for all!

[Anonymous No.6266656]

>>6266640
Timmy I'm tellin mom you been drinkin her wine coolers again.

[Anonymous No.6266666]

>>6266643
>>6266645
>>6266647
>>6266655
Whoever makes these horrible things has joy in their life and laughter in their heart. I'd try one, their effort deserves that at the very least.

[Anonymous No.6266673]

>>6266604
That looks like the result of one of those colon cleansing kits.

[Borneo No.6266677]

>>6266643
thats the most stylish seafood ive ever laid eyes on, 10/10 wifey material

[Anonymous No.6266682]

>>6266677
>Dressed herring, colloquially known as herring under a fur coat or just fur coat (Russian: Ceльдь пoд шyбoй - Seld Pod Shuboi, Russian: Шyбa - Shuba) is a layered salad composed of diced salted herring covered with layers of grated boiled vegetables (potatoes, carrots, beet roots), chopped onions, and mayonnaise.

It doesn't actually sound as horrific as it looks either, as long as they go easy on the mayonnaise.

[Anonymous No.6266684]

The pain and agony

[Anonymous No.6266686]

ass with ears

[Anonymous No.6266692]

>>6264959
>curry pork
Mein neger. Made a week's worth of curry chicken and have been eating it during lunch at work. Shit's cash.

[Anonymous No.6266695]

>>6264933
One of my new housemates reuses the same plastic plate and spoon every fucking day. I don't know what's up?

[Anonymous No.6266735]

>>6266643
>>6266645
>>6266647

These are moe. I'd eat it.

>>6266638
>>6266575

Would eat.

>>6266615

Can't read commie, but are you sure it's mayo and not some sort of whipped cream cheese or whipped cream? That is common in anime, so I guess it's a thing.

[Anonymous No.6266745]

>>6265606

and what bearing does this have on whether or not it's healthy?

[Anonymous No.6266748]

>>6265827

not if she's an obnoxious person, which she probably is seeing as you are.

[Anonymous No.6266751]

>>6265805
>>6265818

why are you posting

no one said you could post

[Anonymous No.6266754]

>>6266140

by seasoning she almost certainly means some seasoning blend she bought in a jar.

[Anonymous No.6266755]

>>6265521
>weightlossjourney
LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.6266799]

>>6265530

kek

>bolognese

[Anonymous No.6266806]

>>6266686
>>6266686
>>6266686

spurdy loogin breddy good thereb: DDDD:DD

[Anonymous No.6266811]

>>6265577
can we call these "jane doe meals" cause they are unidentifiable

[Anonymous No.6266827]

[Anonymous No.6266830]

[Anonymous No.6266834]

[Anonymous No.6266837]

[Anonymous No.6266839]

[Anonymous No.6266841]

>>6266834

>that ketchup and mustard puree plating

[Anonymous No.6266850]

I am so fucking bothered by this thread.

[Anonymous No.6266871]

>>6264863
You are a fucking idiot.

[Anonymous No.6266884]

>>6266577
Completely false. You seem to not know what the word hypocrisy means either.

A vegetarian diet is perfectly healthy if it doesn't consist exclusively of chocolate and french fries. I would expect nothing less from /ck/ though. I'm not even a vegetarian myself. Go back to your "which fast food is the most nummies??!?!?!?" thread you deplorable misinformed faggot.

[Anonymous No.6266895]

>>6266884

I want to eat normal food you hippe faget, not weird muslim yuppie shit like lentils and kale. Go choke on an avocado you librul scum.

[Anonymous No.6266901]

>>6264571
How are you so dumb to not know its a joke?

[Anonymous No.6266903]

>>6264574
>mac and cheese
Perfectly viable comfort food and not an issue health-wise unless he's eating buckets of it every day.
>corn
High in nutrients and dietary fibre and generally good for you.
>scrambled eggs
God tier. Could live off that.
>grilled cheese
Not the best but not the worst either.
>Just dairy and sugar and starch.
Oh no! It's sugar so it must be bad :( Carbs are like, so bad 4 u

You morons know next to nothing about nutrition OR cooking and you should at least get a semblance of a brain before sitting on the high chair and ranting and pointing fingers.

[Anonymous No.6266912]

>>6264614
Because it doesn't warrant that strong of an emotional response.

For a board of people that frequently cry out "AUTISM!!!!!" when someone eats a weird food combination you guys sure are quick to be bumfuck irrational about something that amounts to absolutely not a big fucking deal in the least. Holy shit guys.

[Anonymous No.6266924]

>>6264674
>if u have morals ur not bf material
>morals r bad :)
Don't cut yourself with those edges homeslice, u been browsin the darknet today to top up ur immorality gauge?

Kill yourself my man.
>>6265223
Absolutely fucking ebin
>>6264711
>unironically promoting paleo diet
>thinking fad diets have any kind of long-term health benefit
>not realising people have gotten deathly sick on keto diets and other similar "cave man" style diets
Educate yourself.
>>6266097
Sad, sad shit

[Anonymous No.6266949]

>>6266903
>>Just dairy and sugar and starch.
>Oh no! It's sugar so it must be bad :( Carbs are like, so bad 4 u
>>JUST dairy and sugar and starch.

Can you even fucking read you dense idiot? If ALL he's eating is dairy, sugar and starch he doesn't have a healthy or balanced diet.

[Anonymous No.6267014]

>>6264556
>>6265477
>>6265521
>>6265580
>>6266111
>>6266547

[Anonymous No.6267024]

>>6266903
I bet you're fat

[Anonymous No.6267027]

>>6265475
>Oh well, it looks like she tried to make some kind of cranberry sauce or something
>doesn't really go with the meal but oh we-
>#burger

[Anonymous No.6267029]

>>6266547
When I had food poisoning my shit looked like that.

[Anonymous No.6267044]

>>6266841
I thought it was that cheese that comes in cans.

[Anonymous No.6267046]

>>6265470
>I eat lots of salad but I'm not losing any weight
>damn you, genetics!

[Anonymous No.6267049]

>>6266841
I think it's sriracha and dijon. Not that it makes it any better.

[Anonymous No.6267053]

>>6266912
Revelation: 4chan boards are not hiveminds.

[Anonymous No.6267084]

>>6266047
>Why the hate on community colleges?
No hate on community colleges. My son went to one. Just hate on their cafeterias.
>>6266055
To be fair I do lots of the cooking. She just sees to it we always have homemade bread and plenty of fresh veg. But she is a stickler for keeping crap out of the house. She grew up in the Midwest surrounded by convenience food garbage, and wants nothing to do with it. Hell, we don't even buy canned beans anymore. We have a pressure cooker and cook dried.
>>6266748
Neither of us are obnoxious, but when it comes to food some would find us insufferable. More than half of the average American's shopping list is stuff we never buy. You know those people who do as much of their cooking as possible from scratch? That's us. The closest we come to convenience food is buying dried pasta, because we're not going to make out own every time we want a pasta meal.But we're in a lucky position - we both work from home about half the time, so spending over an hour in the kitchen every day is not a big deal. We rarely have to grab meals on the run.

[Anonymous No.6267158]

>>6266617
That's what baba ghanoush looks like faggot

[Anonymous No.6267198]

>>6264556
What the fuck is the theme here? Yellow things?

[Anonymous No.6267354]

>>6265130
...Does this look like /b/ to you, Chief?

I'm just asking, because the last time I wanted a fucking chili recipe, I DIDN'T. GO. TO B.

[Anonymous No.6267359]

>>6267354
it's an obvious newfag trying to fit in

ignore them and everything will be much better

[Anonymous No.6267367]

>>6265475
How do you fuck up a burger patty that badly?

[Anonymous No.6267371]

>>6265530

>Wifeymaterial

no

[Anonymous No.6267374]

>>6265477
I don't know, but I might actually eat this one.

Kind of like how a curious dog might gobble up a piece of old kibble lying on the floor he found in an old house.

[Anonymous No.6267380]

>>6265530
Sorry, Kellz :(

[Anonymous No.6267384]

>>6265580
'Murican here, but...

WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE PUT CHEESE ON FUCKING EVERYTHING?

[Anonymous No.6267397]

>>6265734
Guys...I think it looks pretty good :(

[Anonymous No.6267401]

>>6265530
Did she boil the meat with the pasta? I didn't even know it was possible to turn meat that colour.

[Anonymous No.6267410]

>>6265776
Looks bretty tasty, but you should mop up the excess liquid with your bread

[Anonymous No.6267411]

>>6267401
I've seen stuff like that before. Something vague in my past. My mom probably made it. Anyway, something like Hamburger Helper. The sauce packet they give you turns the beef into a creamy off-white mass of goop.

[Anonymous No.6267413]

>>6267411
I... can't imagine anything less appetizing.

[Anonymous No.6267420]

>>6267413
Definitely looks like diarrhea. But fuck, it's delicious when you're drunk as piss. Mostly because it's 99% salt and 1% meat.

[Anonymous No.6267422]

>>6266555
>>6266574

[Anonymous No.6267427]

>>6266575
kek
>Chicken pies
>Now with more fish

[Anonymous No.6267430]

>>6266584
That's cute lol

[Anonymous No.6267436]

>>6266595
I lol'd at your description

[Anonymous No.6267439]

>>6266643
lol cute

[Anonymous No.6267444]

>>6266640
>not sober enough>>6266666
Wowzers, your satanism is off the charts

[Anonymous No.6267449]

>>6266811
I like that

[Anonymous No.6267460]

>>6266643
>>6266645
>>6266647
>>6266655

If the cook was grill, I'd lay with her in bed every night and hold her hands tightly so that she knows I would never let go.

[Anonymous No.6267559]

>>6266827
>>6266830
>>6266834
>>6266837
>>6266839

[Anonymous No.6267613]

I want a husband who loves cooking like me. I need to get my future boyfriend into cooking and baking..

[Anonymous No.6267646]

>>6265530
Thats a whole new level of grim.

[Anonymous No.6267666]

>>6266595
top kek

[Anonymous No.6267672]

>>6266082

Men at traditionally chefs but most men suck at cooking

[Anonymous No.6267699]

>>6267613
Thing with me is that I hate baking but love all other cooking.

No idea why.

[Anonymous No.6267708]

>>6267699
I'm the same. I think it's because baking has to be precise, where with cooking you can fuck around more.

[Anonymous No.6267715]

>>6267708
I love just adding in random shit I think will add to the flavour or texture as well.

Baking just seems to be a lot of stirring then a lot of sitting about waiting.

[Anonymous No.6267725]

>>6267708
baking fucking sucks and i fucking suck at baking

[Anonymous No.6267726]

>>6265734
good enough for me.

[Anonymous No.6267728]

>>6267699
I like baking because you can whip everything together in a bowl, toss it in the oven and just wait. None of this slaving over a hot stove with 4 burners on needing your constant attention.

[Anonymous No.6267731]

>>6267708

this is why i love baking and don't like cooking.

[Anonymous No.6267759]

>>6265130
Go back to /b/ please.

[Anonymous No.6267763]

>>6267759
Go back to tumblr please.

[Anonymous No.6267807]

>>6266604
>>6266547

2 years of Russian classes and it's finally paying off in keks.

[Anonymous No.6267883]

>>6264556
I fucking absolutely hate when food is on ugly plates, plastic or styrofoam plates, or no plates at all.
Same for fucking cutlery and/or utensils.

[Anonymous No.6267888]

>>6264556
I would eat that. But that's not saying much.

[Anonymous No.6267905]

>>6265530
I fear for humanity if anybody could possibly call that food.

[Anonymous No.6268338]

>>6267460
underrated post

[Anonymous No.6268375]

>>6264959
I know your pain, I had to teach my ex-girlfriend how to cook from scratch. Literally this woman literally only knew "Put chicken nuggets in oven" and "put hotpocket in microwave". I have no idea how she survived. We were in highschool so we had a LOT more free time to teach, but... Yeah. Nothing was scheduled. Since you seem to be dating another girl with a regular work schedule, here.

Tell her that every Saturday evening you and her will have a dinner date, but she'll have to help you cook- anything she doens't know, you teach her. Be patient, anon. Think Alton Brown, not Gordon Ramsay. She'll associate cooking with you, rather the emotions that they're tied to- if it's guilt and "I'm sorry, I'll do better next time!" then 1) she'll dump your ass, and 2) she'll not know how to cook worth diddly shit since she'll quit.

[Anonymous No.6268436]

>>6266640
you're that anon that a;ways mentions winecoolers

[Anonymous No.6268448]

>>6265710
It's not a southern thing, it's a lardass thing. Just pointing out that everyone I know who lives in the south when I lived there cooked from scratch. It's cheaper, too.

[Anonymous No.6268480]

>>6267084
Different anon. I respect you, but I also find you obnoxious. How many sentences does it really take to say "I cook from scratch and don't buy processed or prepackaged food." Nobody wants to hear about how you don't buy canned beans or how good your wife is at making bread. Why are you on 4chan and not a forum for people who give a shit about your personal life?

[Anonymous No.6268493]

>>6268480
The same could be said about your whining, m8. Just because someone isn't making a fool of themselves so we can all laugh at them, doesn't mean they can't post on 4chan. 4chan is a pop site, ffs, there's nothing exclusive about it.

[Anonymous No.6268911]

>>6267384
i think it might be a canadian white trash thing, to put cheese on everything you can

[Anonymous No.6268942]

Of course I want cheese on it! What do I look like a queer?!?

[Anonymous No.6268949]

>>6268375
>not using guilt to motivate a worthless waste of space
Fuck Anon, why so beta?

[Anonymous No.6269006]

>>6266111
>#PleaseMarryMeNow!!!!
>#SeriouslySomeonePleaseMarryMe

[Anonymous No.6269507]

>>6268949
It's not a matter of being beta. It's a matter of psychology.

Humans are animals at their core; all animals are more conducive to good behavior, good-reward training than bad-bad or neutral-bad. It's just psychology.

If you reward someone for doing well, they'll be more likely to do it than if you merely punish someone for doing badly. It's why you give a kid a candy for doing the right thing instead of just slapping them when they do the wrong thing- the definition of "good thing" is still undefined to them. And with cooking, there are too many "bad things" for that to possibly be efficient.

Reward breeds skill. it's why those that don't know how to cook but don't want to often try on their own with no real inkling of what good food tastes like, and turns into an abomination.

[Anonymous No.6269593]

How do you even tell a girl that serves you something like that how bad it is? Like even if you planned to teach her, you couldn't just go "ayy, wat the fuk is this shit? Lemme show you how it's done bitch" without breaking her heart.

Need to know because I have a friend who serves up not that great food and I would like to teach.

[Anonymous No.6269598]

>>6269593

you start cooking with them and show them how to do things properly ("hey wanna make this dish with me? I've been really craving it and I know you like to cook too!", that's really the only way to do it without potentially offending them

[Anonymous No.6269602]

>>6269598
But what if it's a dish they make poorly? Would I just say "hey let me show you how I make it?"

[Anonymous No.6269615]

>>6264997
>Cutting off part of a still living creature

Yes they butcher the cow while it's still alive

[Anonymous No.6269619]

>>6269602
ask them how they do something and then be like "hey, this is how my grandma showed me to do it" or something like how she showed you a recipe or you saw something on tv

best to pretend you saw it or were taught it and want to try it out if you dont wanna offed them

[Anonymous No.6269627]

>>6264556
We all understand this says I know how to keep my man hot right?

This is a diet meal.

[Anonymous No.6269927]

>>6265580
>>6265530
>>6265521
>>6265477
>>6265475
It greatly concerns me that I have to read the tags to know what I'm looking at

[Anonymous No.6270434]

>Eating mac n cheese
>Ever

Is it really that common in Murica ? I never see anyone cook/eat that here.

[Anonymous No.6270450]

>>6270434
Nobody really eats it after age 10.

[Anonymous No.6270485]

>>6270450
bullshit
>>6270434
fuck you, shit is cash

[Anonymous No.6270493]

>>6270485
it's just the equivalent of bread and melted cheese, how do you call that a dish ?

[Anonymous No.6270495]

>>6264556
I can't directly look at this

I'm upset.

[Anonymous No.6270513]

>>6270434
Aria Sydney (well known fine dining restaurant) . Mac and cheese circulated around their menu for a good 18 months.

[Anonymous No.6270534]

>>6270513
so ? they'll sell whatever the people are willing to buy. Doesn't mean mac n cheese is somehow better than bread and melted cheese

[Anonymous No.6270536]

>>6264997
Amen. If not milked cows get "ornery" The people that run dairy farms. seldom have a day off.Every damn day at 4 am and 4pm my hat is off to dairy farmers.They almost never get a vacation or time off. Them cows gotta be milked. so we get milk, cheese, cream, even ice cream. Dairy Farmers live a tough life.. if you go, somebody must be there

[Anonymous No.6270596]

>>6266924
Morals are fine if they have any reason whatsoever. You're bragging about dating a retard.

[Anonymous No.6270607]

>>6265470

>Caesar Salad

[Anonymous No.6270643]

>>6266895
2/10 pretty shitty troll m8

[Anonymous No.6270676]

>>6264574
That sounds awful,he is going to ruin his asshole

[Anonymous No.6270680]

>>6266903
I know enough about nutrition to know he's not eating a balanced diet, and it makes me worry about him. He's a picky eater and cutting out meat doesn't really have much to do with it, that's just one aspect of his diet. He doesn't compensate for loss of protien though. He doesn't eat legumes or yogurt, nuts and seeds, etc. He mostly eats breads, pasta, cheese, occasional tofu or soy products, milk, prepackaged oatmeal and cereals, canned tomato soup or vegetarian chili, and variations of those foods like cheese pizza or spaghetti with plain marinara. He'll eat fruit but only goes for bananas or strawberries. His variety sucks and you don't know enough about his diet to condone it.

But all in all it's his body. He's not large, he's actually underweight but that's not really any better.

[Anonymous No.6270681]

>>6266806
I kekd pretty hard

thangs anon :DDD

[Anonymous No.6270752]

>>6265524
>mayo
are you retarded or yurocuck
>implying theres a difference

[Anonymous No.6270766]

>>6264556
Did your wife ''cook'' that for you and you're proud?
What kind of a shit wife did you snag yourself? Ew.

My wife cooks my kings food because she fucking knows how to cook more then pasta, corn and eggs.
We were celebrating earlier this week and for dinner was slow cooked duck, steamed citrus, sweet potato hasbrowns, skinned and steamed clementines, roasted almonds and souse made for the ducks juices.

>pic related, wifes cookin.

[Anonymous No.6270778]

>>6270766
Lol

Old man can't into memes

[Anonymous No.6270785]

>>6264556
I... I don't know what to say.

[Anonymous No.6270787]

>>6266651
Why is he your "SO" and not your "boyfriend" or "husband"?

[Anonymous No.6270793]

>>6270787
she uses cafemom where they have an acronym for everything in the fucking world

[Anonymous No.6270797]

>>6267384
Probably midwestern.

I have a friend from Wisconsin visit once. Made some quick scrambled eggs and toast before showing him around NYC, and he asked why there was no cheese on the eggs.

I decided it didn't sound all that bad, so I shredded some sharp cheddar and melted it into the eggs. It wasn't good.

[Anonymous No.6270800]

>>6266584
It looks more like a retarded seamonster than a fucking unicorn

[Anonymous No.6270801]

>>6266238
veggie portion :^D

[Anonymous No.6270805]

>>6266604
Almost looks like an upside down pfannkuchen, which is technically a pancake.

[Anonymous No.6270816]

>>6270793
I guess my question is: why say "significant other" rather than "boyfriend" or "husband"?

Seriously, whom do those words offend? I don't even get it anymore...

[Anonymous No.6270820]

>>6270816
Damn you took the bait anon

[Anonymous No.6270826]

>>6270820
I think I'd just better go back to /out/...

[Anonymous No.6270835]

>>6270766
Desert.

Coffee ice cream, hot caramel sauce, homemade chocolate and fresh berries.

[Anonymous No.6270859]

>>6270835
Why put a candle in ice cream?

[Anonymous No.6270866]

>>6270859
her idea, it was cute tho.

[Anonymous No.6270914]

>>6270434
For the most part it's comfort food only eaten regularly by children, poor people and fatties but recently "gourmet" mac and cheese (literally just scratch-made mac and cheese, like people used to make before it came in a box) has been trendy.

[Anonymous No.6270934]

>>6265509
Them leggings look like they are about to split open as well, Anon.

[Anonymous No.6270940]

>>6266604
It's a wet greasy turd on a plate. There can be no hyperbole, no exaggeration in regards to a wet greasy turd on a plate.

[Anonymous No.6270942]

>>6265530
HOLY RAPTOR JESUS

THAT'S VOMIT
VOMIT!

[Anonymous No.6270982]

>>6266604
lol, a turd in sauce

[Anonymous No.6270984]

>>6265521
the fuck

are those lettuce tacos

[Anonymous No.6270988]

>>6265572
hamburger helper is so fucking gross

it was the one meal my mom made that i absolutely refused to eat

[Anonymous No.6271016]

>>6270805
Have you ever actually seen Pfannkuchen?

[Anonymous No.6271024]

>>6271016
Have you?

Other than picture you found on google, of course.

[Anonymous No.6271035]

>>6271024
Nigger they are like thicker crêpe's not turds.

[Anonymous No.6271069]

>>6266047
It's b8 m8 or just one of your run of mill pretentious douchebags who probably goes around saying the word pleb in real life.

> multiple chefs/sous chefs I've worked with in top 100, Zagat, Michelin, with whatever pretentious rating system, in multiple restaurants on the west coast have come from community college culinary programs.

Dang tendies eating kid rustled my jammies enough to post.

[Anonymous No.6271112]

>>6271035
Nigger, crepes are made with a ton of flour.

pfannukuchen are made with primarily stiffened eggs

[Anonymous No.6271113]

>>6271112
Nigger, i was talking about they're shape, not what they're made off.

[Anonymous No.6271124]

>>6271113
I'm not your nigger, boy. Have you ever seen a pfannkuchen in person?

[Anonymous No.6271130]

>>6271124
This is what Pfannkuchen is supposed to look like, faggot.

[Anonymous No.6271134]

>>6271130
>did a google image search
Thought so. You've never seen a real one, let alone eaten one.

[Anonymous No.6271141]

>>6271134
I'm just gonna asume you're retarded and confuse Pfannkuchen with a Berliner.

[Anonymous No.6271147]

>>6271141
Why? Because you can't admit you've never eaten one?

[Anonymous No.6271150]

>>6271141
>>6271147
You guys would dock irl

[Anonymous No.6271151]

>>6271147
Because you described Pfannkuchen as being an upside down turd, thus proving you dont know what Pfannkuchen is, nigger.

[Anonymous No.6271157]

>>6271150
I'd penetrate his pooper.

[Anonymous No.6271161]

>>6271151
No. I said the item in question looks *almost* like an upside down pfannukuchen. Also, stop copying & pasting what I wrote. Why the fuck do you feel the need to capitalize the "p" every time? God damn, you're desperate for an internet argument.

[Anonymous No.6271163]

>>6271161
>foreign word
>why do you write it the way it is supposed to be written?
kek
Amerifats everyone.

[Anonymous No.6271169]

>>6271163
>all foreign improper nouns should now be capitalized
Are you the ruseman?

[Anonymous No.6271175]

>>6271169
>mfw an amerifat is being retarded around me

[Anonymous No.6271205]

>>6271175
And yet... you still have never actually seen pfannkuchen in person.

I, on the other hand, cook them regularly.

[Anonymous No.6271218]

>>6271205
And yet...you still reply to my post eventhought you regularly cook what you think is Pfannkuchen but actually isnt.

[Anonymous No.6271228]

>>6271218
>I google searched german pancakes, therefore I know what they are
You're from Australia, aren't you?

[Anonymous No.6271289]

>>6271141

by berliner do you mean paczki?

[Anonymous No.6271384]

>>6271289
LOL
that anon proved once again that all he did was google search "pfannkuchen"

[Anonymous No.6273075]

>>6266408
>renting
>economically stable

pick one

[Anonymous No.6273173]

>>6264574
>>6264623

D-Does he drive a red motorcycle? I heard this kind of behavior is directly linked to riding and/or posing nude with red motorcycles.

[Anonymous No.6273175]

>>6264556
>beige meals
:-(