/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.6132955]

>guy walks in coffee shop
>orders just a black coffee

[Anonymous No.6132967]

>>6132955
>tips you with fedora

nice shitposting blogger.

[Anonymous No.6132976]

>>6132955
I'm paying less than you, you fru fru skinny choco latte cunt

[Anonymous No.6133009]

>that brief flash of gratitude in a server's eyes when you don't want sixteen ounces of different syrups layered with both heated and steamed milk

[Anonymous No.6133044]

>man in the corner on his macbook pro
>trying to finish his paper before class
>shouldn't have stayed up all night watching walking dead

to bad for that guy its not even that good of a show

[Anonymous No.6133048]

>Drinking anything other than black coffee
People actually do this?

[Anonymous No.6133056]

>>6133048
bad coffee needs milk nawmean

[Anonymous No.6133064]

>>6133048
Go outside sometime

[Anonymous No.6133099]

>>6132955
>black coffee
You mean, like an espresso?

[Anonymous No.6133103]

>getting black coffee instead of an americano

[Anonymous No.6133112]

>>6132955
Who is this woman?
Has she done a porn?

[Anonymous No.6133120]

>>6133112
Seriously

[Anonymous No.6133131]

>>6132955
I'm the person that goes into a cafe and orders black tea.

Dont enjoy coffee, hot chocolate is often too sweet same does for seasonal treats like chai latte or spiced tea lattes.

I aint even mad, if I get invited for a cup of coffee im not going to sit there and have nothing.

[Anonymous No.6133184]

>>6133112
She's a Japanese love doll based on the character from a popular childrens movie titled The Dark Crystal.

[Anonymous No.6133191]

>>6133184
What the fuck? Why are you looking at that creepy shit? Now I looked at it. Fuck

[Anonymous No.6133196]

>>6132955
you fucking faggot, fuck your milk and sugar

[Anonymous No.6133197]

>>6133191
sweet dreams ;^)

[Anonymous No.6133198]

>>6133184
thanks faghole was just gonna go to sleep.

[Anonymous No.6133199]

>>6132955
>going to a coffee shop
>ever

[Anonymous No.6133229]

>>6133191
>>6133198
You should see the movie. I saw it when I was nine and it scarred me for life. They really shouldn't show these kinds of movies to children.

youtu.be/YqwW8Y5AX9M

Sorry for being so far offtopic. I just wanted to make a shitty joke. >>6133184 But the OP girl reminded me of Kira from TDC.

[Anonymous No.6133335]

>claim to like coffee
>drinking anything besides Turkish coffee

[Anonymous No.6133372]

>>6133229
I loved that movie as a kid. Very dark tho

[Anonymous No.6133380]

>>6133335
>turkish coffee

How does that taste, Anon? Hmm?

[Anonymous No.6133384]

>>6133335
>coffee that looks like mud

[Anonymous No.6133385]

>>6133384
It actually has the texture of eating mud, from my experience. I don't know if the ones that I've had were poorly made but they always felt gritty in my mouth, like i was eating dirt.

[Anonymous No.6133400]

>>6133229
>Kids should have bland boring crap to watch.

Nah man. Nah.

[Anonymous No.6133402]

>>6133385
turkish coffee isn't filtered in any way.
the beans are ground into a fine powder and simmered in a small pot.

[Anonymous No.6133424]

>>6132955
>not making coffee at home every morning

its like you enjoy wasting money or something. are you stupid? incompetent? lazy? all of the above?

[Anonymous No.6133440]

>>6133131
What do they charge you for a tea?
Do they give it to you in a bag or loose?

A cup of tea is $3 where I'm at, loose or bagged. Why not just bring your own, then ask for a cup of hot water.

[Anonymous No.6133442]

>>6133335
>enjoys 1:1:1; coffee, water, sugar

[Anonymous No.6133444]

>>6133424
Not everyone stays at home. Sometimes we like to go out.

[Anonymous No.6133445]

>>6133380
Strong but not acidic or bitter if done right, and sweet. You're not supposed to boil it, so the volatile oils aren't broken down as much as with other methods. It reminds me of french press coffee, but better imo.

>>6133385
Most likely the coffee grounds weren't fine enough. The grounds should form a thick layer on the bottom of the cup. By the time you received it from the kitchen, the grounds should have settled to the bottom unless you stirred it or something.

[Anonymous No.6133446]

>>6133402
I guess it isn't too bad. Not like the beans aren't edible.
Isn't Turkey a hot country tho? Why would they dehydrate this badly?

[Anonymous No.6133472]

>>6133402
>turkish coffee isn't filtered in any way.
Ah, that explains it. So it's kinda like how people make an instant coffee except the coffee isn't freeze-dried so it doesn't disolve.

>>6133445
>unless you stirred it or something.
I think I might have stirred in some sugar.

Isn't this the coffee where the maker tells your fortune from reading the muck that you leave in the cup?

[Anonymous No.6133475]

i rarely ever go to coffee shops, i make coffee and tea at home, but if im on campus and need a boost i'll get a medium black coffee. whats wrong with that again? i dont want a bunch of sugar or milk or foam or anything, i just want some coffee

[Anonymous No.6133483]

I don't give a shit sometimes.
I just drink drip coffee because fuck it.

[Anonymous No.6133508]

I never liked coffee, but I got Turkish Coffee at a Mediterranean place and that shit is fucking amazing.

Is it normal for people who don't drink coffee to like Turkish coffee?

[Anonymous No.6133541]

>>6133508
Absolutely not. A great deal of people who are habitual coffee drinkers can't be convinced to even try it. How did you take it? I like it with cardamom and only a bit of sugar.

[Anonymous No.6133552]

>>6133541

I just drank it straight. I asked the guy if there's a "way" to drink it (with milk, sugar, etc.) and he said it depends on the person, so I didn't add anything and liked it like that.

Man, I wish I could have that stuff every day.

[Anonymous No.6133557]

Can you make turkish with an electric grinder?
It's all I have, and you guys made me curious.

[Anonymous No.6133567]

Ordering plain, black coffee is how I test the quality of a coffee shop.

If you can't make a simple cup of joe that doesn't taste like burnt, bitter shit, then you don't know how to make fucking coffee and you should just stop.

[Anonymous No.6133586]

>>6133557
if the grinder can do abnormally fine powder, sure.
not many can, though. you'd be better off with mortar and pestle.

[Anonymous No.6133588]

>>6133552
you can
buy a Turkish coffee mill

[Anonymous No.6133604]

>hate coffee
>go into Starbucks
>order hot chocolate
>get my drink
>fucking mocha
>look at cup
>definitely mine, got my name on it
>go to counter
"I ordered hot chocolate, you gave me a mocha"
"Are you sure you didn't pick up someone else's cup?"
"Its got my name on it and the server said it was a hot chocolate"
"Well can't you deal with it? A mocha is mostly chocolate anyway"
"No, I hate coffee"
"Then how did you know it was a mocha? For that matter why are you in a Starbucks?"
"I want my money back"
"No, you drank some of it"
"You have a policy of making the customer's drink correctly the first time every time guaranteed, how do people get their money back if their drink is wrong?"
"We make you another drink for free"
"Fine, please make me a hot chocolate."
>Barrista across the counter announces that they've run out of coco.
"Want another mocha?"
>fucking Starbucks...

[Anonymous No.6133605]

>>6133184
reminds me of grimes

[Anonymous No.6133706]

>>6132955

Fuck off, you haiku-writing motherfucker.

[Anonymous No.6133711]

What the fuck else would you order? I don't need a birthday cake on top of my beverage, if you're not a girl or a little kid theres no need for any of that shit...no whipped cream, no chocolates, no sprinkles, you're an adult

[Anonymous No.6133725]

>>6133711
Can Florentine and Burr make a baby and make it me?

[Anonymous No.6133727]

>>6132955
>posts young russian girl from 2003 which fits the monkeycheese girl channers get boners with

[Anonymous No.6133728]

>>6132955
I only drink black coffee, and unsweetened tea. You got a problem with that, fucker? Grow a nut up.

[Anonymous No.6133736]

>>6133725
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude I don't fuckin know duuuude, ya fuckin' take a Bill Burr, ya fuckin' fuck it with a fuckin' Floretine duuuuuuuuuude, ya got a fuckin' baby

[Anonymous No.6133739]

>>6133736
Fucking made my night. 10/fucking10

[Anonymous No.6133772]

>>6133727
she's a babe. fuck off

[Anonymous No.6133775]

>>6133772
She probably died injecting Krokodil

[Anonymous No.6133778]

>>6133739
Tss...who's Fucking like the king of fucs or sumthin?

[Anonymous No.6133786]

>>6132955
My dad does this if he has to wait half an hour to an hour on something and there's a coffee shop nearby. People have their reasons.

[Anonymous No.6133813]

You buy coffee from coffee shops?
Are you stupid?
I save coffee from my hotel rooms and filter it with my sock.

[Anonymous No.6133817]

>>6133335
>>6133402
this is the standard coffee here in the Balkans and its the best

[Anonymous No.6133824]

>not drinking espresso
You guys are fucking plebs

[Anonymous No.6133830]

>>6133824
I tried to like it. I really did, but it is way too bitter for my tastes.

[Anonymous No.6133838]

>>6133813
LOUIE BEAAAAAANTHSSS

[Anonymous No.6133860]

I don't give a fuck, I just need caffeine inside of my body so I can make it through the day and still get work done.

[Anonymous No.6133863]

>>6133048
Some people can't handle black coffee but there are really no other options besides coffee out there for a morning-friendly hit of caffeine so they make it more palatable to themselves with dairy and sugar.

[Anonymous No.6133873]

>>6133103
Every single americano I've ever had in and around the Seattle area has been awful. I'd rather just order a double shot of espresso and be done with it if a drip or pour over isn't available.

[Anonymous No.6133878]

>>6133830
Then whoever made it for you is terrible at making espresso, and probably used a stale grind.

I wish I could make one for you now and somehow pass it through the internet.

[Anonymous No.6133884]

>>6133878
>I wish I could make one for you now and somehow pass it through the internet.
Awwww that's so sweet. I literally can't tell you how many times I've tried it before or how many hours I've spent on coffee threads, youtube, or /r/coffee but it's always the same result. I do however believe that if I force myself enough time I might start to like it you know fake it till you make it.

[Anonymous No.6133892]

>>6133884
haha, I just really like espresso and enjoy making it and sharing the passion.

But if you don't like it then that's fine. No need to force yourself to like something. It's just that you mentioned the bitterness and I'd hate to think that you based your judgement on that experience because my espresso has no bitterness at all. In fact my espresso is so good that you'll shit your pants.
Sorry, I'm good at talking with people.

[Anonymous No.6133893]

>>6133884
haha, I just really like espresso and enjoy making it and sharing the passion.

But if you don't like it then that's fine. No need to force yourself to like something. It's just that you mentioned the bitterness and I'd hate to think that you based your judgement on that experience because my espresso has no bitterness at all. In fact my espresso is so good that you'll shit your pants.

[Anonymous No.6134198]

>>6133184
>>6133191
>>6133198

[Anonymous No.6134283]

>>6133727
Russian?
They said earlier she is Japanese.
Are there noods?
She is a pretty lady

[Anonymous No.6134298]

>>6133229

ho man I'm totally going to get blazed this evening and watch this, and I don't even really like weed

[Anonymous No.6134301]

>>6133048
I drink water sometimes

[Anonymous No.6134304]

>>6133120
>>6133112
Nope, young girl.
Last I remember she had a boyfriend as well :(

[Anonymous No.6134382]

>>6134304
Impure slut

[Anonymous No.6134423]

>>6132955
there's literally nothing wrong with this

[Anonymous No.6134513]

>>6133335

My neighbours are Turkish, and even they don't like Turkish sludge.

[Anonymous No.6134539]

>>6132976
If you're going to Starbucks or most coffee shops nowadays you should expect to be spending at least 6 Bucks for a large beverage. If that's not hella expensive then I don't know what's not expensive. Who goes to a coffee shop and doesn't orders something that sound like an Italian stripper?

[Anonymous No.6134554]

[Anonymous No.6134590]

>>6134513
>living around filthy turks

[Anonymous No.6134633]

>>6133197
Das ist Lain

[Anonymous No.6134769]

>>6134590
Easy there /pol/

[Anonymous No.6134821]

not ordering a double ristretto soy cappuccino with 1 raw sugar

[Anonymous No.6134876]

>>6133604
>Well can't you deal with it?
Things that never happened

[Anonymous No.6134912]

>>6134876
I'm personally not a big fan of Fourbucks, but I will agree they rarely get orders wrong. Unlike say Dunks' who's employees usually look like they were recruited from a zombie apocalypse.

[Anonymous No.6134933]

>>6133604
I believe that they made you the wrong drink and gave you a weird look when you asked for it to be corrected

I don't believe that they accused you of taking the wrong cup, told you to just deal with it, asked why you were even in a Starbucks and refused to give you your money back. As a rule, people working in customer service generally don't try to actively invite customers to begin screaming belligerently at them. All you got was a weird look, maybe not even that, and then invented a fake persecution scenario

This did not happen.

[Anonymous No.6135056]

>>6133604
>willingly telling falsehoods on the internet

[Anonymous No.6135073]

>>6134554
Don't you mean...
This is 4Chan

[Anonymous No.6135122]

>>6135073
Zoolander is good but man those drinks suck.

[Anonymous No.6135132]

>>6133112
ask /fit/. she makes rainbow cakes or something. she has a boyfriend.

[Anonymous No.6135135]

>>6133229
>kids movie
it's for kids if they want to stay up all night.

[Anonymous No.6135157]

>black guy walks in coffee shop
>orders a coffee
>w-w-would you l-l-like it with or without m-m-milk?

[Anonymous No.6135168]

>>6134539
>black coffee
>at least 6 bucks

No.

[Anonymous No.6135171]

>>6133711
>Would you like room for cream?

No, I'm not six.

[Anonymous No.6135172]

>>6134539
Venti coffee at Starbucks is under $3 brah.

[Anonymous No.6135182]

I order one "just coffee" with one sugar
how plebeian am I?

[Anonymous No.6135190]

>working at Tim Hortons

The amount of people who order repugnant amounts of sugar and cream is astonishing. what the fuck is the point of a decaf 4x4?

[Anonymous No.6135204]

>>6132955
Does she have a much older brother?

[Anonymous No.6135207]

>>6135171
Who is that stallion?

[Anonymous No.6135263]

How to make great coffee at home.

1. Get an aeropress and hario hand grinder on Amazon.
2. Find a local roaster, if not, order some beans online. That shit needs to be FRESH. IE, roasted less than 2 weeks ago.
3. Grind that shit (NO ELECTRIC BLADE GRINDERS)
4. Aeropress it as per the millions of tutorials online.

Congrats, you have made great coffee at home. It is far superior to anything you will get at a Starbucks, and after about a month, you recoup all of your initial money.

Plus you get to support local roaster.

From here, you can try a ton of different roasts, or start investing in more equipment. I recently got a electric burr grinder, makes things go way faster. Get yourself an electric kettle, scale, fancy glasses, whatever.

Also picked up a moka pot, have been playing around with that.

Espresso is an entirely different beast that I know nothing about. From what I can tell, unless you have close to $1,000 to drop, it is not worth getting into home espresso.

[Anonymous No.6135314]

>>6135168
The other choices mane

[Anonymous No.6135336]

>>6135190
Canadian or US Timmy's? I worked at a US one. Once a woman in the drive thru asks for an extra large motherfucking 10x16.
>Cream and sugar machines are proportional for sizes
>10 creams was more cream than the cup actually held
>Had to pour out some cream just to fit a splash of coffee inside
>Thick layer of sugar granules at the bottom

[Anonymous No.6135338]

>>6135263
>use an aeropress
>start pushing
>boiling water spills everywhere

[Anonymous No.6135456]

>>6135336
Canada. Yeah, a lot of people's coffee orders end up with less than half of their cup with actual coffee in it. it's terrible.

[Anonymous No.6135463]

Enjoy your diabetes from your choco mocha latte with fifteen pumps of peppermint and pumpkin spice

[Anonymous No.6135505]

>>6135338

If that happened you were probably pressing too quickly or had the coffee ground too fine.

[Anonymous No.6135510]

>Drinking your calories

[Anonymous No.6135577]

>drinking bitter bean juice

Coffeefags are the worst right after spoiled grape juice fags

[Anonymous No.6135591]

>>6135577
I bet you're a squished fruit fag or worse a rain in a bottle faglord. Who am i kidding you probably drink the jew in a can.

[Anonymous No.6135601]

>>6133444
Luckily recent breakthroughs in scientific advancement have yielded us the technology known as cups. I even hear some retain heat, prevent spills, and come in a variety of forms.

Im mocking you FYI.

[Anonymous No.6135618]

Hey guys, how much is coffee base?

I've heard all coffees have a 30ml base of black coffee and the rest is what else you drink with it, milk sugar or cream.

Is this correct?

Also I think I'm going to try make some turkish coffe, how long should I simmer the ground coffee beans for?

[Anonymous No.6135630]

>>6135601
>Luckily recent breakthroughs in scientific advancement have yielded us the technology known as cups. I even hear some retain heat, prevent spills, and come in a variety of forms.

Praise be!
This will save me much burned hands, my friend!

[Anonymous No.6135683]

>>6135577

Beer fedoras are the worst

[Anonymous No.6135691]

I like my coffee black

like your mum likes her men OP

[Anonymous No.6135709]

What, I have a real job and just want my coffee.

[Anonymous No.6136039]

>>6132955
taking my coffee without cream or sugar for a week and I'm telling everyone

[Anonymous No.6136233]

>>6133711
Look I don't really drink coffee cause then I wouldn't be able to kill myself with pies and ice cream and general tsao's chicken. Like my diabetes forced me to decide what deliciousness I get throw my life away for and I picked deserts and chinese food nigga so I can't be a coffee guy but lookee here

somehow I'm now tired of this uh... new coffee aristocrat horseshit. Like it's invading non-coffee peoples' lives. When the fuck did coffee become like music where you can judge someone's whole existence on what they like and call them fags for it? It's fucking beans and water nigga.

What, whaaaat, hold on Florentine you handsome c-lister let me just finish-what... what the fuck does bitter coffee really doooo for you Jim?! Like- hold on cigarette voice let me finish- why whhhyyyy would anyone assssssk for their food to taste like shit? On purpose?! No don't put anything into my cup that would make it taste like ice cream. WHAT STUPID?! What would it ruin? Really? The organic non-tastiness of this colombian bean that some mexican wiped his ass with before he shipped to us anyway? Fucking- fucking stop man.

Why would you purposefully reject making something sweet? SWEET JIM?! Really?! And Milk is for faggots? really? for thousands of years milk has been keeping humans alive but if it's in your cup of boiled beans it's gay?

Come on man and milk as opposed to... and... hold on fuck... here's HOLD ON HERE'S what I'm saying marge simpson voice.

Nigga non-sweet coffee is only enjoyable BECAUSE IT'S HOT WHEN YOU DRINK IT.

BECAUSE WHEN IT'S COLD EVERYONE GOES "OH NO MY DAY AT THE OFFICE IS RUINED" AND POURS IT DOWN THE SINK BUT THE TASTE DOESN'T CHANGE WHEN IT'S HOT OR COLD NIGGA. THAT'S HOW ALWAYS HOW IT IS FLORENTINE YOU DOPE. YOU'RE NOT ENJOYING THE DRINK, IT'S THE HEAT.
JUST GET A SOUP STUPID.

[Anonymous No.6136256]

>>6136233
10/10

[Anonymous No.6136277]

>>6132955
>walk into coffee shop
>glance indifferently over all the hipsters sitting inside
>order big black coffee to go
>say thanks
>leave coffee shop

This is me. I just want a coffee.

[Anonymous No.6136299]

>>6136233
You sound like one of those guys who don't like beer and tell everyone that nobody actually likes beer.

[Anonymous No.6136307]

>>6136233
I don't buy this diabetes bullshit, the real reason Patrice doesn't drink coffee is because he, like the rest of his kind, don't have any reason to get up in the morning.

[Anonymous No.6136321]

>>6136307
You know what Nick, I'm tired of you telling everyone that you're white. You look like the Shah of Iran.

[Anonymous No.6136507]

>>6136233

[Anonymous No.6136524]

>>6135263
>[memepress shilling intensifies]

[Anonymous No.6136538]

>>6136277
>This is me. I just want a caffein hit.
Fixed.

[Anonymous No.6136553]

Tripple Vent Skinny Cinnimon ducle hazlenut latte with a ham and cheddar breakfast sandwich, every morning on my way to work every morning, about 8 bucks.

Another latte on the way home, no sandwich though as I'll usually grab sonic or arbys.

Sometimes I'll get one at lunch also

[Anonymous No.6136733]

>>6133385
Only you would know what it's like to eat dirt

[Anonymous No.6136749]

>>6136733
Eating dirt is something you have to do when you're riding in a peloton.

[Anonymous No.6136957]

>>6133048

This. I cringe when i see people drinking coffee that has syrup, milk, sugar and all kinds of shit inside of it. Why do you even drink coffee?

[Anonymous No.6136959]

>>6136957
caffeine

[Anonymous No.6136969]

>>6133048
i put splenda in mine
it gives it a sharp sweet taste and i can still taste the flavor of the beans
fucking love splenda

[Anonymous No.6136987]

>>6136749
kek

based ag2r leading though

[Anonymous No.6136988]

>>6136959
might as well drink green/black tea then.

[Anonymous No.6137036]

>>6136988
Assuming that all of the drinks in question are purposefully brewed for maximum caffeine content, black coffee has about 300% of the caffeine in black tea and espresso has 400% of the caffeine in black coffee - 1oz of strong espresso will wire you just as much as 4oz of strong coffee, which will wire you just as much as 12oz. of strong black tea.

You can actually blame the way Starbucks serves their coffee for the proliferation of shitty drinks, incidentally; once you have your "double shot", then you already have all of the caffeine you need to jump-start your day and you're free to fill the remaining 14oz in the cup with what the fuck ever.

[Anonymous No.6137154]

>guy walks in coffee shop
>orders just a black coffee
>coffee is meh

[Anonymous No.6137182]

>>6137154
but at least he can shitpost online about how mature he is for drinking black coffee

[Anonymous No.6139180]

>>6137154
adding carbs and fat to meh coffee doesn't make it any better

[Anonymous No.6139375]

>drinking coffee at all

Hello bad and breath.

[Anonymous No.6139529]

>>6133472
Not him, but it's actually a slightly more complicated process. The coffee has to "boil over" once and you *immediately* take it off the flame to let it cool down. Then you do it once more and quickly serve it. If you wait too long or try to boil it over more than twice (or less than twice) the coffee is ruined. I've seen people make it in pans rather than in the specialized little thingies they use, too.

[Anonymous No.6140026]

>>6139180
But making it sweeter does

[Anonymous No.6140028]

>>6139180
Exactly.

[Anonymous No.6140177]

>>6136957

I drink coffee black and even I can understand its because some people like the taste of coffee and milk together, or coffee sweetened with sugar. It's not rocket science, anon.

[Anonymous No.6140233]

>>6132955
Is that girl grown up yet? Cause she'd be pretty hot.

[Anonymous No.6140394]

>>6136969

Me too, anon. Coffee with a little Splenda is enough for me.

[Anonymous No.6140434]

>>6133604

This obviously never happened.

[Anonymous No.6140436]

>>6133860

>being this addicted

[Anonymous No.6140442]

>>6133048
this and >>6133056 this

[Anonymous No.6140752]

>>6133103

>diluting your delicious espresso with water

Silly amerifats, when will they learn?

[Anonymous No.6140768]

>>6140752
I suppose adding a splash of water into a glass of brandy is also diluting the flavor

oh wait it actually adds to the aromatic properties of the beverage

[Anonymous No.6140826]

>>6140768

Is brandy a beverage

[Anonymous No.6140867]

>>6133893
you are a magnificent guy, i was just reading through this thread and wanted to say that you are awesome.

[Anonymous No.6141296]

>>6140768

[Anonymous No.6141354]

>>6133335

I hate Americano coffee. I enjoy iced vanilla coffee. The best coffee is Turkish coffee.

[Anonymous No.6141361]

Would any of you coffee people suggest a drink similar to a black and white?

[Anonymous No.6141365]

a stronger beverage isn't a better one.

If someone removed all the water from a coffee or distilled spirit so it was 100% lighter volatile organics and dissolved solids, being completely anhydrous, would you prefer it?

[Anonymous No.6141373]

>>6136307
>he doe3sn't have any reason to get up in the morning
Being dead kind of helps.

[Anonymous No.6141778]

>>6141365
>he doesn't munch on green coffee beans to enjoy the true taste of coffee

Your point is very good though. Drinking black coffee doesn't entitle you to anything.

[Anonymous No.6142319]

>drinking anything but light to medium roasted black coffee

[Sceak No.6142358]

>>6132955

Why is it that people don't want to buy things with a 3,000% mark-up?

[Anonymous No.6142440]

>>6132955
Sorry that i don't order a fancy drink such as a cold frappe with a cherry on top. Sorry i don't go there to freeload the wifi with an ibook like your hipster ass while wearing normalfaggot fashion and having tattoos of faggot shit.

[Anonymous No.6142524]

>>6133335
You mean BOSNIAN Coffee.

[Anonymous No.6142548]

>>6135263
Been using one for a few months, it's overrated as fuck. The only real benefit is it's easy to clean, and comparatively quick. Taste difference between using the same kind of coffee in a regular machine is negligible at best.

Also, not a whole lot of people can just go down to their local new-age commune for that week's fresh roast. The vast majority of the population has what they can get on grocery shelves.

[Anonymous No.6142559]

>>6132955
Kids don't understand the joys of well made black coffee.

[Anonymous No.6142564]

>>6141365
ok but i want to taste the coffee cause I like finding new types of beans with different flavours and when somebody claims to be a coffee fanatic when all they drink is caffeinated chocolate/pumpkin/whatever syrup with a whipped cream head I can't lie I feel a little pain inside.

[Anonymous No.6142568]

>>6141365
I used to eat instant coffee powder when I was in the Army.

[Anonymous No.6142569]

>>6142548
>The vast majority of the population has what they can get on grocery shelves.

That's completely ridiculous of a claim anybody in any sort of urban setting can find either fresh roasted beans or unroasted beans and roast them in the comfort of their house.

[Anonymous No.6142608]

>>6133424
$2 to chill in a cozy shop that isn't your shitty dilapidated room seems like a deal to me

[Anonymous No.6142982]

>>6133229
I saw a nightmare on elm street when i was 9 and that scared the fuck outta me.....

You're talking about the dark crystal being scary?

WOOOW! You must be the biggest fuckin pansy to ever walk the earth.

[Anonymous No.6143036]

>>6142982
>oh YEAH? well I was beaten by my parents and then left to live with a homeless serial killer who raped me every day and I was only six
>you're the biggest pansy ever!~!~!~!one

Sorry you had shit parents :(

[Anonymous No.6143334]

>>6142608
i go to coffeshops and get a coffee and sit down all the time. I like feeling social and out in the world wihtout having to deal with anyone actually speaking to me. Also black coffee is the best bean-based beverage on the planet.

[Anonymous No.6143381]

>>6132955
Does he tip as well? I fucking hate shitty tippers. Always order black coffee too. Fuckers.

[Anonymous No.6143388]

>>6143381
>tipping barristas anytime

[Anonymous No.6143401]

I take my coffee black, but holy shit I hate it when people talk about taking their coffee black like they are some kind of higher being because of it. Fuck man, I don't care if you put a whole jug of milk in your coffee, you're drinking it, not me.

You never see people snobbing around talking about how they take their toast plain or their oatmeal bland.

Some of you must think that acquiring a taste for black coffee is so difficult you deserve a medal for it.

[Anonymous No.6143405]

>>6143381
>getting cheapest drink on menu
>tipping

[Anonymous No.6143438]

>>6141365
>If someone removed all the water from a coffee or distilled spirit so it was 100% lighter volatile organics and dissolved solids, being completely anhydrous, would you prefer it?
yes

[Anonymous No.6143563]

>>6134304
I heard from Russian anons that she's like 30 but had plastic loli surgery

[Anonymous No.6143712]

>>6136959
then get caffeine pills, they're cheaper in the long run anyway

[Anonymous No.6143758]

ok.. here's the thing... A moka pot makes bad fucking coffee okay .The entire apparatus heats up and scalds your brew, giving it a bitter taste. Yes, you can avoid this with some technique, but it's still a crap shoot. The whole fucking design is flawed so you have to learn to work around it. The Aeropress doesn't have this problem. It's designed well and works with you instead of against you.
The moka pot has lots of small inaccessible places that are difficult or im fucking possible to clean. Sure, people say you should season it, but one mans seasoning is another mans rancid coffee oil that makes everything taste stale. That's without going into the problem with mould if you store it without use for a long time. Aeropress? Easiest thing in the world to clean.
Moka pots are also susceptible to corrosion and pitting over time. Aluminum + heat + water = corrosion. Aeropress is made of plastic. Sure it might crack and discolor and wear out over several thousand brews, but it won't impart any off flavours to your coffee.
Aeropress is far, far more versatile. You control coffee dose, brew water and contact time. Long steep with a coarse grind? Go for it. Short steep, fine grind? Absolutely. Coffee concentrate? Sure. Regular strength, single cup brew? Why not. Moka pot? Sorry, just a poor imitation of espresso.
Thats just the way it fucking is
tl;dr: Aeropress makes better coffee, is easier to clean, is comparably durable and is more versatile. I don't know why anyone would get a Moka pot instead.

[Anonymous No.6144540]

>>6133335
There's an afghan restaurant near me that's only open for lunch/dinner. They offer turkish coffee.

As someone who doesn't normally drink coffee or even like it without a ton of sugar and cream (and yet, with tea I'm fine not adding anything at all), how much will I like/dislike turkish coffee?

It's one of those many things I want to try just to say I have. A food bucket list, I suppose.

[Anonymous No.6144554]

>>6144540
It's unfiltered though the coffee itself is very finely ground. I'd say the coffee itself is thick and has the texture of a milkshake. You can add in milk/sugar if you want but the few times I've had Turkish coffee I've taken it black just to see what the fuss is all about.

[Anonymous No.6145989]

>>6133335
until i have enough money to buy a legit espresso machine for my own home turkish coffee is all there is.

[Anonymous No.6146003]

>>6143758
This anon works for Aeropress' marketing department.

[Anonymous No.6146012]

I only drink decaffeinated black coffee.
Love the taste and don't need that silly caffeine.

[Anonymous No.6146021]

>>6132955

>traveling with friend
>only coffee place in the airport is a starbucks
>get latte
>he tries to order black coffee and they just stare at him
>girl in the back starts giggling
>"You want a.. uhh.. house blend?"
>tfw starbucks hippies can't fucking make a regular coffee

I hate you fufu faggots

[Anonymous No.6146029]

>>6135510
Black coffee has almost zero calories.
Something like 1-2 calories per 100 ml.

[Anonymous No.6146031]

>>6146021

Learn how to let context influence your order. You don't wander into a dive bar and blithely ask for a boulevardier with old potrero, and you don't go to a starbucks asking for black coffee. There is a reason everyone gets 1500 calorie sugar and cream drinks at starbucks. It's because the black coffee and espresso are both horrid, and you need something to cover it up.

And now you know. You were wrong, and they were right. Sorry about that.

[Anonymous No.6146032]

>>6146021
no way they just stare at him

black coffee is the easiest order to make

hippies don't work at starbucks, especially not in airports.... unless you were flying out of seattle or denver i guess.

either way, horrible experience.

[Anonymous No.6146033]

>>6146031
jesus you are a fucking retard

2/10 for making me reply

[Anonymous No.6146034]

>>6146033

What are you so mad about? Are you the same guy who thinks you need to drink supermarket garbage tea before you're allowed to drink nice tea?

[Anonymous No.6146036]

>>6146021
I order plain black coffee every time I go into Starbucks and it's literally never an issue. I'm sorry your made up story bothered you so much

[Anonymous No.6146037]

>>6133446
Hot foods make hot weather feel less intense in comparison. Most cultures with a warm climate do this.

[Anonymous No.6146041]

>>6133446
Because they're still get much more water than the caffeine would hypothetically dehydrate them.

If they were drinking sea water you'd have a point though.

[Anonymous No.6146042]

>>6146034
nope, but confusion appears to be common with you

not mad, just stating the obvious. you're retarded. everyone knows their coffee/espresso is shit, but who the fuck cares? they are literally everywhere. starbucks has bastardized coffee. this is NOTHING like ordering a fancy drink "bliithely" at a dive bar. fun fact asshole: lots of dive bars cater to high end coctail drinkers. but i guess you don't get out much.

[Anonymous No.6146049]

>>6146042
>lots of dive bars cater to high end coctail drinkers

If it serves high end cocktails then by definition it's not a dive bar, it's a high end bar masquerading as a "dive bar". Maybe you should try going to an actual dive bar so you can learn what that term means

>but who the fuck cares?

You're asking me? I'm not the one who got upset and greentexted hard over "hippies" at starbucks, you silly little rube. I'm simply helping you understand how to get the best experience out of a less than optimal situation

[Anonymous No.6146052]

>>6146049
jesus almighty god i want to skullfuck some sense into your so badly

everything you say is wrong

you just keep farting with your fingers, stinking up this board

go change your fucking dirty nappies, they smell horrible

[Anonymous No.6146061]

>>6146052
>I'm completely clueless about both coffee and bars, and it upsets me to learn things

Sorry about that.

[Anonymous No.6146066]

>>6133604
hot chocolate is made from the same sauce as mocha.
They where being a bitch though but i feel you over exaggerated

[Anonymous No.6146097]

I just aeropress one button. Using Starbucks cups. Deal with it.

[Anonymous No.6146117]

>>6146097
i do hope you're at least emptying and disassembling the k-cup for recycling

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pkAsuibpfU

[Anonymous No.6146134]

>>6132955
Do you think she can cook?

[Anonymous No.6146138]

>>6132955
I used to, now I get ginseng coffee because it tastes better. I should mention there are no Starbucks-like places here, just cafés though.

[Anonymous No.6146159]

>>6146031

So a coffee place can't serve regular coffee? That sounds dumb. Some people just need black coffee in the morning, regardless of the quality.

>>6146032
I'm being serious. They just stared at him like he was making a joke and they were waiting for some other order. It was a college city so I think they were all just kids working there part-time.

>>6146036
I've had another starbucks in the area do this, it was at a rest stop and we tried to order black coffee and they sperged out because they didn't know what the hell it was

[Anonymous No.6146168]

>>6146049
>If it serves high end cocktails then by definition it's not a dive bar


Not true.
There are many bars where poor and rich alcoholics embibe side by side.

I once watched a banker buy a shot of blue label for a homeless bum.
Its odd but its a thing.

[Anonymous No.6146172]

>>6146159
>So a coffee place can't serve regular coffee?

In my opinion they certainly should, but that doesn't change the fact that Starbucks is in the business of selling flavored coffee-based drinks and shakes and such. It's not the ideal establishment to go to for plain coffee.

>>6146168
I'm not the guy you've been discussing this with but I agree with him. If the place stocks expensive booze like blue label then it's not a dive bar.

[Anonymous No.6147196]

>>6143381
>tipping
USAian confirmed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_vivC7c_1k
Only way to tip is for bachelor party HOT baristas;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYpdhE1uG1Y

[Anonymous No.6147205]

>>6147196
>College Humour

[Anonymous No.6147210]

>>6132955
...What? Is this Starbucks? Where the coffee is burnt shit? I thought I was at my local shop with a real roaster on site. I like to taste the coffee.

[Anonymous No.6147242]

>>6146031
>black coffee and espresso are both horrid
Then you never had a good one..

[Anonymous No.6147271]

>>6147196
>meme humour

[Anonymous No.6147280]

>>6133048
>I drink black coffee I'm so mature :^))))
Black coffee tastes like shit. You look like a fucking retard drinking it.

[Anonymous No.6147306]

>>6147242
And I never will. Your taste buds are obviously broken if you think you have. Maybe in like 1991 when they were still small enough to worry about little things like quality.

[Anonymous No.6147369]

>walks into a coffee shop

for what purpose

[Anonymous No.6147402]

I don't go to coffee shops because no one makes it my way.

>make 40 cups worth of coffee in one big batch
>boil it down in a large pot, until the water disappears and you're left with a black paste
>spread 1/8th of the paste on toast and eat it

[Anonymous No.6147688]

>>6135456

Are you serious? That's fucked. I can't even stand the stuff and I drink it black. Honestly I don't even know why, I just always have with any coffee, but of course it's better when the coffee itself is good.

[Anonymous No.6147700]

>>6132976
No, you're paying more for me because I get complementary sugar and cream with mine.

[Anonymous No.6147821]

>>6140867
I really appreciate that. Thank you.
Sing out if you ever come to Melbourne.

[Anonymous No.6147824]

>>6142982
>You're talking about the dark crystal being scary?
I didn't say it scared me. I said it scarred me.

Learn the difference because it could save you life one day. Also, fite me.

[Anonymous No.6147828]

>>6143036
>Sorry you had shit parents
Haha, this.

Who the fuck shows an R rated horror movie to a nine year old?

[Anonymous No.6147840]

wait so is this bitch a japenese sex doll or a tumblr slut

[Anonymous No.6147842]

>>6147840

She's a 12 year old russian that 4chan pedos are obsessed over.

You should see what it's like on /g/, sometimes half the threads in the catalog have a picture of her as the op. Completely unrelated to the thread, of course.

[Anonymous No.6147850]

>>6147842
i was gonna say, i had no idea our kawaii friends had that kind of technology
this makes far more sense

[Anonymous No.6147854]

>>6147842
>12 year old
I need confirmation on that please.

I saw a thread on /b/ about her the other day and saved two images in my 'pretty' folder. Her face is photogenic but she's a shapeless twig. Plus her huge pupils are creepy.
1/2 and i'm saging for offtopic.

[Anonymous No.6147858]

>>6147854
2/2
Now after looking the images again I'm not overly impressed.

[Anonymous No.6147859]

>>6147854

No idea, I first started seeing the pictures a couple of years ago. If she was 12 then she could be 14 now.

Go ask /g/, they would probably give you her entire life story if you asked.

[Anonymous No.6147867]

>>6147859
>Go ask /g/, they would probably give you her entire life story if you asked.
Thanx, but I don't really care enough. Was just a bit curious. I might lurk there one day.

[Anonymous No.6147913]

>visit my brother in hawai'i
>lives next to a starbucks
>"one grande black iced coffee please"
>pays for it with a G O L D S T A R B U C K S R E W A R D S C A R D which he slowly takes out so everybody can admire it
>gulps the coffee down, dumps out ice
>gets a refill
>gulps it down again, dumps out ice
>gets a SECOND refill for the road
>gives me a taste
>akin to battery acid

doctor says he has stomach ulcers from drinking so much black coffee, the shit is literally burning away his stomach lining it's so acidic

but im sure you look so mature drinking your swill in an opaque cup so nobody can tell
but dont worry, everybody knows anyway since whenever somebody brings up coffee you feel the need to interject that you only drink black unsweetened coffee

[Anonymous No.6148777]

>>6147913
>the shit is literally burning away his stomach lining it's so acidic
Dark roasted coffee beans are less acidic

then again, he drinks starbucks so he doesn't care about quality anyway.

[Anonymous No.6148788]

>>6147402
>not just eating the beans like candy

[Anonymous No.6148821]

Anyone else get sleepy from caffeine?

I know some breeds of mice are completely immune to the effects of coffee, even 100mg/kg (100 cups of coffee for normal humans) doesn't even excite them.
The problem with making flat statements of this kind is that for some people they just don't apply. "Caffeine has a tremendously wide variation in action," Regestein admits. "The people who say 'I can drink a cup of coffee right before I go to bed and go right to sleep' aren't lying." Hard biochemical research confirms the fact. Carney describes "one common strain of laboratory mouse, Jackson's Lab's SWR strain, inbred since the 1920s, who is just totally immune to the effect of caffeine: there's no dose that will excite him--not 100 milligrams per kilogram, which would be equivalent to 100 cups of coffee in a human.

"But take that mouse and breed him with another strain called CBA, who's essentially the great-great-great-grandson of the common European white mouse. The first generation of offspring will all look like the CBA mouse and show his caffeine sensitivity, which means that the caffeine resistance of the SWR mouse is genetically recessive. Then take those first-generation mice and cross them among themselves, and you get offspring spread right across a bell curve: mice who are significantly less active than the SWR mouse, who are actively depressed by caffeine in fact, all the way across the activity spectrum to mice a good three standard deviations above the activity norm, mice that are rocketing right off the walls of their cages. Caffeine sensitivity is obviously not a simple genetic either-or: at least two genes are involved, and probably more, to get that kind of result."

[Anonymous No.6149195]

Some idiot gave me black coffee saying it would fix my hangover. I did not even have one just tired after drinking and smoking. ANYWAYS THAT MADE IT WORSE YOU IDIOT!

Fuck coffee drinkers. GO drink some ALCOHOL you dumb fucking bitch. Coffee is the PUSSY version of Hard liquor.

I use to go to work with a Coffee holder that had liquour in it. Made my coworkers less faggots but nonetheless faggot coffee drinkers.

[Anonymous No.6149287]

[Anonymous No.6149388]

>>6147913
Maybe because he pounded 3 cups with no water or food before, between or after. You think one cup of black has that effect on others? No.

[Anonymous No.6149578]

>>6136277
You're a... Faggot?.... Oh no!!!!!!!!!! FAGGOT

[Anonymous No.6149585]

>>6148821
Sometimes I feel like I am but I think that rather my caffeine tolerance has gotten high enough that if I'm sipping something caffeinated in the evening I'll be drowsy regardless since it isn't doing anything to me.

[Anonymous No.6149600]

>>6147280
you will grow into the bitter flavor anon dont worry.
:^) i know its not as dank of a meme drink as a coffee with cream but oh well.

[Anonymous No.6149620]

>>6133335

My favorite tea is the Turkish tea.

[Anonymous No.6149749]

>>6133103

>He likes his coffee black with extra water

[Anonymous No.6149796]

>>6149600
You merely adopted the bitter.

I was born in it, molded by it.

[coco No.6150014]

>>6133335
Greek coffee*

[Anonymous No.6150029]

>>6133103
An Americanco is literally Italy's half-assed attempt at emulating drip coffee by pouring a fifth of espresso with four fifths water. It's shit.

[Anonymous No.6150052]

>>6132955
I bet you drink whisky with 7up, i'm right?

[Anonymous No.6150058]

I'm getting sick of seeing this sluts face on /ck/ every day

[Anonymous No.6150164]

>drinking coffee
>at all
Why do you faggots need to drink coffee every day?

[Anonymous No.6150171]

>>6135172
It's 4.25 for a grande where I live, what the fuck?

[Anonymous No.6150207]

>>6150164
Caffeine addiction, for me.
If I don't get my coffee in the morning I get a massive headache for the rest of the day.

[Anonymous No.6150641]

>>6150164
you're gay

[Anonymous No.6150655]

>>6150164
maintaining dat STEM lifestyle

[Anonymous No.6150903]

>>6132955
Black coffee = black nectar

[Anonymous No.6151023]

>>6136233
RIP

[Anonymous No.6151056]

>walk into coffee shop in dc
>mariah carey blasting on the speakers
>barista is an effeminate black man wearing a muscle shirt
>it is late november
>place is full of bohemian types, 20 year olds wearing full business suits, and super old people
>want to order a pour over but i am too scared of an awkward conversation about the coffee variety i might want
>order cappuccino instead for the sake of brevity
>pay using an ipad the have bolted to the counter
>then i walk to the national mall and sit on a random bench in the light fog
>i am the only person out there aside from dudes mowing grass
>i wander over to the botanic garden
>it hasn't opened yet
>i am the only person waiting under the age of 65

some people get laid on backpacking trips

not me

[Anonymous No.6151102]

>>6151056
try backpacking somewhere cool and having something to do with people your age once you get there

[Anonymous No.6151204]

As much as I love coffee I think I have to cut back. I've been drinking it daily for who knows how long (usually two cups a day). It just isn't the same anymore, it upsets my stomach. I think its the milk more-so than the coffee itself, I'm somewhat sensitive to dairy.

Can anyone recommend non-dairy creamers?

[Anonymous No.6151211]

>>6151204
>two cups a day
And that is supposed to be a lot how? I and many of the people I know drink one or two pans worth of coffee daily. Sometimes even more, now that I've quit smoking and am trying to battle the cravings.

[Anonymous No.6151216]

>>6149796
If I poured in some cream, would you die?

[Anonymous No.6151232]

Sometimes, I make a pot of coffee and add them on my bowl of oats.
Yummy.

[Anonymous No.6151599]

>go to coffee shop
>there's no Vietnamese coffee

[Anonymous No.6151638]

>>6133706
Under rated post. 10/10

[Anonymous No.6151874]

>>6132955
Who is this weenie geenie

[Anonymous No.6151962]

>>6150029
You realize that the drink was invented by Americans who thought the idea of drinking a tiny cup of super strong coffee was dumb, and added water?

[Anonymous No.6151972]

bump i want this thread to expire and die so i dont have to look at that who anymore

[Anonymous No.6151987]

>>6151972
>*hide thread*

wow technology sure is great

[Anonymous No.6152088]

>>6151987
I am too lazy

[Anonymous No.6152090]

>>6151874
Who is this seaman demon

[Anonymous No.6153169]

USAians
http://en.ilovecoffee.jp/posts/view/71

[Anonymous No.6153197]

[Anonymous No.6153391]

>>6143712
fuck your pills you fucking turbo nerd

[Anonymous No.6153504]

>>6133424
I don't drink coffee regularly, and only get coffee if it's later in the day and I feel real tired.

[Anonymous No.6153603]

>White people prefer coffee with a lot of white ingredients because they can't handle a strong black coffee and they need to water it down for their tastes

[Anonymous No.6153613]

I have a strange reaction to caffeine. It actually makes me drowsy for some reason. I still love coffee, though. Maybe I should start drinking decaf. Does it taste the same?

[Anonymous No.6153761]

>>6132955
Who is this cum catcher

[Anonymous No.6154050]

I drink coffee black most of the time, but if I'm going somewhere I know the coffee's gonna be shitty (Starbucks, basically) I usually get a cappuccino. I definitely like a darker roast; the deeper the flavor, the better it tastes for me. It's very likely that I've simply not had a really good light roast yet and would actually enjoy the more delicate flavors offered by one, but for day-to-day coffee I think I'll stick with my dark roast. Also, French press a best.

[Anonymous No.6154100]

>>6132955
Who is this manmilk miko?