/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.6118902]

hey im like a food network executive or whatever
pitch me stuff

[Anonymous No.6118908]

a cooking show about american food fome the 18th and 19th century.

feature what pioneers, frontiersmen, cowboys, homesteaders, etc made.

it'll be the hottest thing since guy fieri.

[Anonymous No.6118909]

No, you are a cat.

[Anonymous No.6118913]

>>6118902
Something about wild edibles. Herbs, flowers, roots, whatever. Maybe even mushrooms if you feel hardcore.

[Anonymous No.6118917]

>>6118908
a show about metrojack's circle jerking their recipes while drinking iced coffee from a mason jar while sitting on a sidewalk in Brooklyn.

They must all have beards.

[Anonymous No.6118922]

alright its just your average iron chef ripoff secret ingredients blah blah blah BUT THERES A CATCH lets say the secret ingredient is like lamb they just walk out this baby lamb and are all like 'here you go lol'
i call it slaughterhouse

[Anonymous No.6118949]

>>6118917
>metrojack

that's the target demographic. they'll be giving the show massive ratings.

[Anonymous No.6118963]

>>6118902
Epic Meal Time the show

[Anonymous No.6118964]

Create a spinoff to the t.v. series 'Hannibal' in which Mads Mikkelsen shows us how to cook dishes he eats in the show. Bonus points for guest appearances from Jody Foster and Anthony Hopkins

[Anonymous No.6118965]

>>6118902
Can you smell what The Rock is cooking. Dewayne Johnson, after undergoing extensive cooking instruction, is charged with creating different dishes that famous food scene celebrities must compete to identify down to ingredients while blind folded, what he has created.

[Anonymous No.6118970]

>>6118922

YES. Would watch.

[Anonymous No.6118983]

bikini kitchen

it's just a public access style cooking show but everyone wears bikinis and mankinis

if they have celebrity guests on there they have to wear bikinis

[Anonymous No.6119000]

what about, like, this show okay? and like, theres the hosts or whatever and like, there food and stuff but theres a CATCH.

and the catch is, i dunno like, the hosts are blindfolded or something and have to buy groceries or something and then they have to cook what the other people got and like, target sponsors it for some reason and it should have lori beth denberg on it

[Anonymous No.6119025]

Under the Influence - Cooking with Drugs.

Host shows up fucked up and just mashes together food from a bachelor pantry.

[Anonymous No.6119039]

>>6119000
Go to bed karl

[Anonymous No.6119088]

Ice cream glove.

Its a glove you wear so ice cream doesnt get on your hands

[Phil Ossiferz Stone !!esSirF6LRYN No.6119100]

>>6119025
I summon the Drunken Chefs...! The invincible bachelors of culinary skill!

[Anonymous No.6119158]

A reality show where Food Network Stars face off against each in live combat involving various kitchen utensils.

Whomever survives can then cook the loser and serve it to a panel of judges for a final score.

[Anonymous No.6119163]

>>6118965
10/10 would watch

[Anonymous No.6119174]

>>6119158
Who are the judges?

[Anonymous No.6119177]

MEAL SWAP - the hit new reality tv show which changes up how families cook for a whole week

One family eats nothing but hot dogs and chicken nuggets. The other family is on an all-natural, GMO-free vegan diet. How will they handle being forced to eat the other's cuisine for an entire week?

[Anonymous No.6119181]

We take the most insufferable douchecanoe on this channel, and we do a special where we see how a group of cannibals prepare and eat them.

I call it "Flay Bobby Flay"

[Anonymous No.6119192]

>>6118902

How about a show without some shit fake bastard hosting it? Like ordinary people cooking? Or maybe find a young Giada and have her cook naked.

[Anonymous No.6119214]

>>6118949
What if those guys are amish and just started their year off

Think about the grief

[Anonymous No.6119218]

>>6119174

Those living puppets they always have on Chopped.

[Anonymous No.6119299]

>>6118902
drunk history but with cooking instead. famous chefs get FUCKING RIPPED and cook their favorite drunk food while telling funny stories, also making drinks along the way. call it 5 drink minimum.

[Anonymous No.6119336]

>>6119299
its hosted by keefer sutherland btw.

[Anonymous No.6119352]

I'd tell you but then you'd make it before I do

[Anonymous No.6119372]

>>6118908
That was actually a PBS show.

[Anonymous No.6119385]

>>6119299
Mind of a Chef on PBS is like this a lot sometimes.

Also I think Munchies by Vice is like this, but I would never watch their programs because fuck them.

[SadMotherfucker !!bMMLLF4HPrR No.6119389]

>>6118902

Prison food made outside of the cafeteria. Toilet wine, radiator grilled cheese, etc.

We interview convicted felons who share their recipes while making food in their cells, then we sit them down at a linen tablecloth across from a successful guest food critic or celebrity to dine on the episode's dish and discuss food and prison life.

First season America's prisons, second season we start to explore juvenile corrections, overseas prisons, psychiatric wards, etc..


Season finale, a favorite prisoner-chef from an earlier episode is given ingredients and kitchen time to cook a favorite meal. The meal is then shared with the victim (or, in the case of death, a family member of a victim) of a crime for which he was convicted.

Show title ideas:
>Contraband Cuisine
>Restaurants Behind Bars
>Justice Desserts

[Anonymous No.6119391]

>>6119299
I thought this would be a great format, I like getting drunk and cooking with friends

[Anonymous No.6119397]

>>6118902
A cooking competition show where the contestants can't cook for shit. Get the real dregs: an obese WV mother of three, a college student, a baby boomer dude who has never cooked in his life, a flaky artsy chick and a wannabe rock musician/surfer.

Each episode has a theme, like Southern Italian, Middle Eastern, Mexican, Southeast Asian, Indian, Cajun, BBQ, whatever... The first third is exposing the contestants to the flavors, ingredients and basic techniques used in the style of cooking that is the theme. Judges (hopefully 2nd tier food personalities) will offer quick tutorials for contestants that might be useful for home cooks watching the show.

Part 2 is where the fun begins. Contestants are turned loose in well stocked kitchen with no more guidance to compete for best dish. Narration from judges points out good moves from contestants, while having a little laugh at the wildly ill-conceived fuck ups that are bound to happen as contestants ignorantly get creative. There will be plenty of ingredients available for them to do this; they will have everything they need to stick with the theme as well as fuck it up royally.

Judges will then rate dishes on a point system. At the end of the series whoever has the most points gets a food truck.

[Anonymous No.6119719]

>>6119088

Huh??

[Anonymous No.6119721]

>>6118902
the guy who helped come up with cutthroat probably has more ideas, go ask him

[Anonymous No.6119730]

>>6119397
You've basically just described Worst Cooks in America

[Anonymous No.6119739]

>>6119299
>famous chefs get FUCKING RIPPED and cook their favorite drunk food while telling funny stories, also making drinks along the way. call it 5 drink minimum.

It's already been, by the master.

[Anonymous No.6119741]

>>6119372
Not him, but i've seen it before and really want to watch more. What was it called, and just to be sure, you're talking about the older guy with the french accent right? I think in the episode I saw he cooked in George Washington's house's kitchen or something using their methods.

[Anonymous No.6119744]

>>6119730
I have no idea what shows are out there already. All I ever watch is stuff friends recommend to me that I can stream.

But the heart of what I'm describing isn't that these are terrible cooks because they're stupid. They're terrible because they don't know any better. The whole purpose would be to have the viewer going between thinking "what an idiot" and "shit, that's good to know."

[Anonymous No.6119745]

>>6118902
A show about fucking cooking for once and not FUCKING CUPCAKES.

[Anonymous No.6119748]

>>6118902
Gay man's guide to outdoor cooking.
I always thought about a gay fishing show too - two bears and a boat. I have all sorts of ideas when I'm stoned.

[Anonymous No.6119749]

>>6119744
>But the heart of what I'm describing isn't that these are terrible cooks because they're stupid. They're terrible because they don't know any better.

Yeah that's basically that show.

[Anonymous No.6119766]

>>6119749
So much for pitching that idea then.

[Anonymous No.6119802]

>>6118902
KILL GUY FIERI REVERT COOKING CHANNLE BACK TO THE FUCKING COOKING CHANNEL UNPLEBIFY AMERICA. fucking everything is going the way of the history channel. cooking channel used to have galloping gourmet, julia childs, fucking barefoot cuntessa .. now what? eat this sugar in brooklyn and suck guy fieris cock.

[Anonymous No.6119863]

>>6119802
>cooking channel used to have galloping gourmet, julia childs, fucking barefoot cuntessa
Lol, Those people were boring as fuck to watch. i dont want to learn how some cunt does something simple "her way", i want to be entertained.

>>6118902
How about a show where someone who has never cooked anything before is paired with a professional chef/baker/whatever, 4 teams, have to cook shit that requires 2 sets of hands to finish in the alloted time.

Both people in pairs draw straws for whos allowed to use what applainces/tools, so you cant just make the lesser skilled person prep...

like only 1 person can touch tongs, fry baskets, and the frier, ect...

im imagening some kind of fucked up potatoe sack race configuration, where they are suck together, and person 1 has to use the tongd, while person 2 holds the bowl because person 1 is not approved for bowls...

you can do what they are allowed to touch as a lottery in the beginning, and switch it up completely as the show progresses, or add to the confusion and compound who can use what

"this course, only 1 of you will be allowed to handle the protiens"
"this round, in addition to previos rules, only 1 of you will be allowed to use knives" ect...

And this goes for every team, not like cutthroat where you try to give it to other people, but every team has these lotteries and rules forced upon them

imagine a team where the lesser skilled guy has to use the knives, and that round they are making sushi... lol

You would need to work out the courses and rules/lottery so that the lesser skilled person is trying to not fuck something up, but usually does horribly...

rate me

[Anonymous No.6119869]

>>6119863
>i want to be entertained.
It's people like you where TV has gone to shit

[Anonymous No.6119871]

>>6119869
You know those shitty info focused cooking shows are still on tv, but just arnt as popular because, you know, people like to be entertained. get over it

[Anonymous No.6119877]

>>6119869
>doesnt want to be entertained
Whats it like having robot legs and listening to intimidating robot music?

[Anonymous No.6119887]

>>6118963
Don't tempt them

[Anonymous No.6119897]

>>6119181
> Flay Bobby Flay
Not Fillet Bobby Flay
Come on now

[Anonymous No.6119909]

>>6118902
The celebrity "chefs" and executives face off in a hunger-games style where the weapons are kitchen items.

Afterwards, the winner rescues the network from the shit heap it is.

[Anonymous No.6119917]

Every episode features a different chef making the same shitty wedge salad.

[Anonymous No.6119928]

The world's finest chefs, critics and restauranteurs demonstrate recipes from >>6108347.

[Anonymous No.6120446]

>>6118963
Already a thing

[Anonymous No.6120460]

>>6118902
top kek,a show where u cook the worst possible thing and whoever makes the judges puke first wins
bonus fun: the judges don't know it's supposed to be bad

[Anonymous No.6121299]

>>6118922
Good one anon

[Anonymous No.6121306]

>>6118902
Here's a pitch:
GDIAF and take your shitty network with you.

[Anonymous No.6122187]

>>6119869
Lmao bro

[Anonymous No.6122195]

>>6118902

Jamie Olivers new show:

American trailer trash show Jamie what they cook on a typical day for dinner.

Jamie Oliver then has to debate with them why they feed their families such shit.

The first family to make him cry wins a special guest spot on honey-boo-boos show.

[Anonymous No.6122204]

>invite celebs LOL
>they cook LOL
>then another celeb eats it LOL

One of them should be jewish to maximize profits

[Anonymous No.6122209]

>>6122204

>celebrity come dine with me

been done

[Anonymous No.6122212]

>>6122209
Who cares, americans can't get enough of them

[Anonymous No.6122333]

>>6119025
I'm pretty sure we had something like this on Austrian TV a couple of years ago.

[Anonymous No.6122429]

>>6118902
Cooking in war zones

[Anonymous No.6122438]

>>6122429
And they have to find ways to make MREs edible while trying to survive.

[Anonymous No.6122549]

Live 1hr special of Guy Fieri getting eaten by the indigenous cannibals of Australia.

[Anonymous No.6122596]

>>6119869
You're right.

I believe it also has to do with the decrease in viewership who actually want to learn by watching a TV program. As people increasingly want to be entertained by the medium, there rises supply to meet the demand.

Hence why some 'educational' networks, or at least networks focused on informational shows, have resorted to a schedule filled with reality shows under the guise of teaching about a subject.

This is not to say that this is inherently bad or good though.

[Anonymous No.6122603]

>>6119869
ignore these plebs that can't comprehend that not every single piece of media they consume has to be entertaining.. Most media should not fucking entertain you... not everything is a movie... want to learn about cooking? oh too bad fuck you here is guy fieragot driving backwards into chicken fried steak.... oh you dont like that well how about these homosexual twins tell you about the deconstructed chicken fried cock you can buy in Harold's in Portland Oregon.

[Anonymous No.6122608]

>>6122549
yes

[Anonymous No.6122612]

>>6122603
The medium of television by its nature is entertainment. It is useful in sharing techniques and processes, but in terms of information it does lend itself to critical thought.

Nice strawman btw

[Anonymous No.6122617]

GUYS THIS SHIT SELLS AND THEY WANNA BE SURE!!!

why u think so many same shitty movie, tv, food and all remakes INCLUDING FOOD

[Anonymous No.6122625]

I want a cooking show with Mads Mikkelsen in-character as Hannibal Lecter.

[Anonymous No.6122963]

Giada de laurentis gets gang banged and abused

Don't care about the cooking angle I just really want to see that

[Anonymous No.6122973]

>>6122963

I don't find her very attractive, but I'd fap to that

Marcela would be nice too

[Anonymous No.6122975]

>>6118902
Give LA Beast a show.

First ep, make him eat pine cones.

[Anonymous No.6122980]

>>6122973

I will never get to play with these tits

Why even go on living

[Anonymous No.6122985]

>>6122980

Can you imagine how saggy they are though? She's like 60. She had a professional wardrobe expert pick a dress that would make her cleavage look flattering.

[Anonymous No.6122992]

>>6122980
You probably see plenty of girls with better tits everyday IRL. Just because she is a "celebrity" doesn't mean her tits are unobtainable.

[Anonymous No.6123004]

>>6122980
Have you seen her husband? He looks beta as fuck. I'll bet you could charm her clothes off if you're suave enough

[Anonymous No.6123021]

She's divorced. One of us has got a shot.

[Anonymous No.6123024]

>>6122980
She's divorced. One of us has got a shot.

[MyOCdonotsteal !IGPhxBXGQs No.6123082]

Cooking Center CX; Get a cute Jap grill, give her classic dishes from western cuisines and she has 5 tries to get it right, she can have a few assistants or sous or w/e as well. The judgement panel will consist of 2 chefs of the cuisine of the episode and one Jap.

[Anonymous No.6125365]

>>6122429
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooking_in_the_Danger_Zone

[Anonymous No.6125402]

>>6118902
Survivor Cooking a show of food made by guys like Bear Grylls

[Anonymous No.6125849]

kitchen nightmares again

but british not american.

[Anonymous No.6125855]

>>6119100
I always wanted to be this guy when I was little. He's so fucking based. The entire goddamn show was.

[Anonymous No.6125860]

Jacques Pepin teaches knife skills over 12 episodes by carving up Guy Fieri alive.

[Anonymous No.6125947]

Pre Chewed

It's your average cooking competition show, except the contestants chew up their final meal. They then spit the now paste onto a plate, which the judges eat and critique.

[Anonymous No.6125953]

>>6118902
episodes based entirely on a technique, its history, how its practiced, how its executed and where its masters are going with their art and techniques

[Anonymous No.6125980]

>>6118902
professional chefs have to make gourmet meals with MREs

loser gets shot

[Anonymous No.6125986]

>>6118902
Get Joey, buy him some douchey clothes and a retro rodded out car. If it worked with Guy, go back to the well.

>Also Review brah and Marc Summers delve into the history of energy drinks and then review them.

Bonus points if some of the drinks are spiked with horrible diseases without Summers knowing it.

[Anonymous No.6125987]

>>6125980
>10/10
>Would DVR and watch on an endless loop