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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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6055536 No.6055536 [Reply] [Original]

>You have to eat a pound of jalapenos quickly as possible for a fifty dollar prize
>You have a fully stocked kitchen at your disposable to make the jalapenos more palatable
>How do you do it?

Easy mode: Use cheese
Medium mode: Gluten free
Hard mode: vegan

>> No.6055539

>roast
>puree
>season with cumin, lime juice and salt
>chug

>> No.6055541

>$50 prize

fuck right off OP. You have any idea how much erotic art costs?

$335. I need more than $50. $50 is enough for fucking materials and an autograph

>> No.6055545

Tortilla chips and various dips: one a tomatillo/green salsa (tomatillos, jalapenos, cilantro, onion), and the other just a standard salsa bandera (jalapenos, onion, tomato, cilantro, lime, and salt). Maybe also do a guacamole and nachos.

Bam. All three modes done. Although it may be way easier said than done, because I don't think I can picture exactly how much a pound of jalapenos is. I know that three serrano peppers doesn't even register on grocery store scales.

>> No.6055547

>>6055539
Bet you wouldn't make past the first gulp. My gf threw a jalapeño into a juicer with about a pound of fruit and it was undrinkable. Roasting might help tho

>> No.6055548

get a glass of water to eat them with

>> No.6055549

Question: is it a pound of fresh jalapenos that they provide, or is it an Iron Chef type of thing where we can stretch the definition of a jalapeno a bit? Basically, I'm asking if they can be substituted for chipotles, either in adobo or not.

>> No.6055553

>>6055545
Quick google says there's about eight peppers to a pound, which don't sound that bad. For fifty bucks you might just munch

Serranos are dope though.

>> No.6055556

>>6055549
Nah, raw, motherfucker.

>> No.6055564

>>6055545
>>6055553

And de-seed them obviously. Now they are like 1/2 as hot or less.

>> No.6055860
File: 938 KB, 1600x1600, PicShop-D4BB9D08EE15EDEC16B93F986C9DF886.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6055860

>>6055553
there's no fucking way that 8 jalapeños make a pound. I buy these all the time at $3.99 a pound and I get handfuls for less than $2.00. I'm guessing it's more like 14 to 20 peppers equals a pound.

>> No.6055888

Dip them in aioli and eat straight. Jalapenos are beta tier compared to the almighty cayenne.

>> No.6055895

>>6055536
>fifty dollar prize

Fuck that.

All that will afford me is maybe one good steak dinner.

>> No.6055903

>>6055895
>steak
>good
You make the baby jesus cow cry.

>> No.6055907

>>6055536
Fixed...

Fag mode: vegan

>> No.6055983

>>6055888
I'd probably skip the aioli, because why bother. Sour cream might be nice, but it's not like anything is really necessary. Jalapenos aren't particularly hot. They aren't particularly tasty, either, but no worse than eating a carrot or a bell pepper or a cucumber.

If the challenge is to cook something with them, then fine, no problem, I'll make some quesadillas or something. Otherwise I'd just eat the things.

>> No.6055995

Wrap in thick cut bacon and smoke for hours.
Enjoy intensely and get paid.
Win/win

>> No.6056001

Roastvin oven with some olive oil and garlic. Mash into paste. Season. Spread on bread/dip chips

>> No.6056016

>>6055536
>Puree
>Reduce until dry and a powder
>wrap in little plastic balls
>claim prize
>die of peritonitis when one ruptures in my tummy

Hey, it works for heroin!

>> No.6056118

>>6055536
>eat a pound of jalapenos

Enjoy your solanine poisoning and butt blasting because of it.

The best you can do to prevent that is to only eat fully ripe peppers.

>> No.6056119

>>6055895
>$50
>one meal

Damn dude, that is like 3 weeks worth of groceries for me.

>> No.6056123

>Jalapenos
>Hot/Spicy

Fucking white people

>> No.6056139

Hardmode:
>stuff with minced garlic
>batter with cornmeal batter
>deep-fry
Alternatively,
>puree with garlic, onions, cilantro, salt, olive oil
>eat with chips

>> No.6056142

>>6055536
Jalapenos aren't that hot?

Just pickle them?
Perhaps I dont get the "hot" versions, I live in Australia, we have some in the garden at the moment, they are very mild. I always felt they had a more capsicum flavour.

If you want back of the throat burn look to Indian chilli.
If you want a flash burn/right up your nose go we for thai.

>> No.6056145

>>6055536
Jalapenos aren't even that hot, i'd eat them raw and ask for a glass of whiskey cream after.

>> No.6056151

>>6055536
Grease them up and swallow them whole.

>> No.6056162

>>6055564
>de-seeding makes chillis less hot
No, it doesn't. It makes them less crunchy, sure

>> No.6056166

>>6056145
>>6056142
The OP didn't say they were hot.

>>6056162
Removing the seeds and the white areas makes them far less spicy than normal.

>> No.6056169
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6056169

>>6055541
underrated.

>> No.6056176

>>6055983
I was just thinking it's good for some flavour.

>> No.6056177

>>6056151
loooool, that's going to burn on the way out.

>> No.6056198

>>6055548
Kek

>> No.6056199

>>6056016
dont you have a flight to peru to take?

>> No.6056206

>>6055536
Just make chiles en nogada, pretty simple. Substitute cream sauce for walnut-coriander pesto, and fill with rice and mushroom picadillo for a vegan option.

>> No.6056209

>>6056206

Stuffing the peppers seems counterproductive if the goal is to eat as many as possible.

>> No.6056212

Make chili.

>> No.6056217

>>6056209
I'm not saying you should stuff them to their absolute limit, but just add some mild-tasting 'fodder' to take the worst heat out.

>> No.6056243 [DELETED] 

>>6055555

>> No.6056291
File: 39 KB, 640x427, mfw.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6056291

ITT: faggots who'd suck a pound of cocks for 50$

>> No.6056302

>>6055536
Just eat them. Jalapenos aren't all that hot unless you happen to get a rare super-hot one.

Now if you were talking scotch bonnets or habaneros or nagas or something then that would be a different story. But Jalapenos? Just eat the damn things.

>> No.6056309

>>6055536
Super easy
>seed
>scrape inner wall
>soak in rum
>eat peppers
The seed pod has much of the capsaicin, so that will cut the heat down to half right away. The rest is located on the inner wall in blisters. Scrape it with a paring knife to pop the blisters, then soak in rum to dissolve it away.

Plus, I can get a little tipsy while eating them. They will taste just like bell peppers, and I could probably down the whole pound in just a few minutes. No heat.

>> No.6056310

>>6055564
What that other guy said is correct.

De-seeding has nothing to do with the capsaisin, it's really just for texture and so the seeds don't get caught between a person's teeth.

The heat of a chile pepper is in the placenta and given that the seeds grow in there the seeds might get a bit of capsaisin on them while growing, plus when the chili is sliced or diced that might get some on the seeds as well.

The seeds don't naturally have any "heat."

Only asshole hollywood types from the food network and the travel channel will tell you to deseed a chile pepper to remove heat. They're just talking heading filling airtime between commercials and should be ignored.

>> No.6056313

>>6056162
>>6056310
You're both wrong.

The seeds don't contain heat, but the seed PODS contain a huge amount of it.

>> No.6056319

>>6056309
oh, and this method is vegan

>> No.6056321

>>6056313
You're an idiot the pod, which is the chile itself contains the seeds, the placenta, the inner lining of the pod produces and contains the capsaisin.

>> No.6056324

>>6056310
>>6056313

You guys are just getting caught up in semantics.
Yes, we know the seeds themselves don't contain much if any capsaicin. Yes, we know that the capsacin is mainly in the placenta/pod/whatever you want to call it.

But when you de-seed a pepper you don't go in there like a neurosuergeon with a microscope and carefully remove each seed while leaving the rest of the pepper intact. You cut it open and scoop out all the interior--seeds, placenta, and all. So when a cook says "take out the seeds" they're really removing a lot more than the seeds alone.

>> No.6056337

>>6056324
Actually if you want to remove the seeds it's best slice the chile in half from stem to bottom and run the halves under some running water. Bang, seeds are gone.

The placenta is the inner lining, the pod is the fruit itself.

That's not just semantics, that's English.

Semantics would be, you suck cock. Are you a closet fag or a full blown fag like george takei? Still a fag either way.

>> No.6056479

>>6056176
Might be nice. I associate aioli with calamari and other fried foods. De gustibus non est disputandum.

>> No.6056484

>>6056319
Vegan schmegan, rum is made from tailings from sugar production, and sugar production uses bonemeal for purification. Rum is about as vegan as eating a steak with oyster sauce.

>> No.6056505

>>6056484
Then use vodka, idgaf

>> No.6056518

>>6056337
>The placenta is the inner lining, the pod is the fruit itself.
>That's not just semantics, that's English.

Yes, I know that. But not everybody does. It's irrelevant to the point.

The point is that when you remove the insides of the pepper, as is usually done prior to stuffing them or slicing them or whatever else you might do with them, the insides get removed. It doesn't matter where the capsacin is located since all of the insides generally get removed.

>>running water
I've tried that, but it often doesn't remove all of the seeds. I find using a knife to be a lot faster. It also has the advantage of not getting the peppers wet so there is less splatter if you intend on sauteing them.

>> No.6056522

>>6056484

But there is no bone char being used in the rum itself. That's a separate part of the sugar production process that has nothing to do with the rum. Rum production does not use the sugar product that has been through the bone char.

>> No.6056552

>>6055983
>not realizing jalapenos cover a very wide spectrum of heat depending on the particular variety/how/when they are grown and at what stage they are harvested and can be anywhere between 2,000-14,000 scoville heat units.
Eating a pound of fresh raw jalapenos on the hot end of the spectrum without a base to mitigate it would make almost anyone feel ill, give you heart burn, indigestion, lower abdominal pain and burn your asshole till it was a bloody mess.
Good luck.

>> No.6056563

>>6056119
maybe stop being poor or get on food assistance, your situation sounds embarrassing

>> No.6056567

>>6056123
>mocking white people
>filthy mongrel
I'm white as white can be like I stepped out of a 3rd Reich propaganda poster and I would out eat you, drink you and run circles around you on the track or in the kitchen.
So how about you be less critical of an anonymous person's presumed race and start being a half way decent human being?
I know that's asking a lot of most of humanity, but you could try for a minute right?

>> No.6056573

For 50 bucks hell I'd eat them raw.

Haberneros and up might be a challenge.

>> No.6056580

>>6055536
>dice them up as finely as possible
>add milk
>drink my mexican-style milkapenos

>> No.6056583

>>6055895

50 dollars for a steak dinner? A steak for me cost '16 dollars or less.

>> No.6056587

>>6055547
Clearly your GF is sporting a bigger package than you!

>> No.6056588

>>6055903
That's exactly what I want from my tender baby jesus cow as I eat it's tender flesh before it's weeping eyes.

>> No.6056594

>>6056563
Why would you think I was poor? Are you projecting?

>> No.6056605

>>6056522
>implying vegans will be rational when they can also choose to act butthurt

>> No.6056619

>>6056580
if by mexican style, you mean add tequila, I'm in

>idgaf if the milk curdles

>> No.6056641

Fuck everyone else I'd make a pound of jalapeno poppers filled with cream cheese. Nothing is better.

>> No.6056656

>>6056594
>claims to eat for $2.38 a day

you are either poor or a hipster eating like your poor, don't play stupid faggot like that's reasonable for non-poor people

>> No.6057285

Crumbed and stuffed with buffalo mozzarella then fried. I could rape 1kg like that.

>> No.6057307

>>6056119
I need to save a lot of money, please tell me how you do this. $50 Is what I spend each week on food alone.

>> No.6057314

Steep in heavy cream with carrots garlic and thyme. Puree and spread on crostinis

>> No.6057322

>>6055536
Just make some pico de gallo, you wouldn't even have to pay me. That shit is amazing.

>> No.6057368

>>6057307
Not OP but I usually aim for like $40 every 2 weeks. I think it's doable as long as you have a decent spice/condiment collection. I'm also only 5'3'' and 125 pounds which might make a difference but my grocery list goes something like:

>a bunch of rice ($3 at most for about 2 pounds, i usually go brown rice because it's good for me and the fiber makes for excellent shits), with it I usually make fried rice or something in the crock pot, a good 4-5 meals worth
> 1 bag of frozen peas and 1 bag of frozen corn, can throw them in anything ($1 each)
>some bananas ($1 for ~4)
>head of garlic ($.50)
>some ramens and other cheap soups, like 5 meals ($5)
>some of those knorr sides (about $6 for 4, each one is an easy meal)
>sandwich stuff - I usually get whatever is on sale because you can find some sweet deals most of the time ($2-3 bread, $2 cheese, $3 deli meat, maybe some sprouts or spinach, $2.50, a solid 5-6 meals)
>easy & healthy snacks - popcorn $2, offbrand pretzels $2, celery $1.29
>other dairy: milk $3, coffee creamer $2
>other: a frozen pizza, hot pockets, taco supplies, whatever else i'm feelin that week ($ varies)

So that puts me a little over $40 for 2 weeks, and chances are good I might have some left over and won't need to buy it the next week. Every once in a while I'll go a little over when I need something like coffee or chicken breasts. I don't use them that often, so I might go quite a few weeks between buying them in bulk. The freezer is your best friend.

>> No.6057401

>>6057368
The trick is to like not buy any of that "convenience" stuff, like prechopped vegetables or frozen meals and stuff. Like, I could buy a frozen stir fry bag for $8.99 and it'd feed me for like 1-2 meals, but why would I? I could buy something at a restaurant for that much and it'd be way better, OR I could buy all the ingredients myself and make 5x as much of it.

>> No.6057421

>>6055547
anon stop pretending you have gf

>> No.6058458

>>6056552

>not inducing vomiting after eating the jalapenos and chugging milk and eating icecream

letting them digest would just be retarded

>> No.6058514

I'm Mexican I'll just eat the 50 chilies with a couple of bean burritos and some soda.

>> No.6058529

>>6055995
>Wrap in thick cut bacon and smoke for hours
Came to post this. I cook these all the time, stuffed with cheese, and eat at least a pound of them.

To beat the hard mode, I would just roast them, maybe some oil, and eat them plain.

>> No.6058531

eat them with sriracha and nutella lol

>> No.6058805
File: 72 KB, 592x803, food.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6058805

>>6056656
>poor
>hipster
>stupid faggot

Convincing arguments I'm sure.

I'm betting your mother never taught you how to shop properly. You also probably don't supplement your diet with home grown/raised things either. To ad hominem, I bet you are a consumer whore too.

>>6057307
It is really easy. I buy ingredients instead of per-prepared meals. Simply doing that cuts a great deal of cost. Baking your own loaves of really is the way to go. All the alcohol I drink I've made myself. All the foods I eat are packed with nutrition. I don't use white flour or eat white rice for instance. My breads are full of nuts, fruits, and seeds. Ice cream is homemade from actual cream. All these things are really dense and very filling. I can eat only a little bit and feel really full, unlike most all pre-packaged meals that are designed to be as cheap as possible and make you crave eating/buying more.

A few things I have a garden for and I have chickens. So, eggs, chicken meat, pumpkins, corn, potatoes, squash, salad greens, herbs, etc are all grown at home. I have a few fruit trees and maple trees for sugaring. Though, most of those things are pretty cheap from the stores too, I grow heirloom varieties. I have hot pepper plants over wintering right next to me.

When I shop, I always buy in bulk. I have very large home canning equipment for both water bath canning and pressure canning. So, I am able to make tons of sauces, soups, stews, etc and can them for later. I can take full advantage of bulk buying that way. While the pressure canners can be expensive, water bath canning of high acid foods is really cheap. I don't do lacto-fermenting since I don't like the flavor, but it is also a super cheap way of making lots of food and preserving it. I also have a food dehydrator I use to process and store massive amounts of fruits and vegetables.

One of the biggest thing you can do is to learn meal planning.

>> No.6058811
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6058811

>>6058805

>> No.6060835

>>6058811
>whole chicken
>$0.37
>What the fuck are you even talking about ya loser?

>> No.6061376

>>6055536
stop being such a bitch and just eat them whole. Maybe try to swallow them whole if you can't stand some heat.

>> No.6061390

>>6060835
He's talking about not being a loser and learning to cook. Enjoy your $10 tips.

>> No.6061393

>>6058811
5.75 for cucumber and .03 for mutton, where do you shop?

>> No.6061398

>>6060835
>>6061393
>taking the bait

>> No.6061406

>>6060835
>>6061393
>Not realising the image is meant to be a joke

>> No.6061452

I'd just eat them. Jalapenos are very mild.

>> No.6061455

>>6055536
The only acceptable answer is to boil the shit out of them and turn it into a purée. That's the easiest way to get them
down. Also vegan.

>> No.6061712

I either eat them directly.
Or I cook them in some oil. (The Capsaicin solutes in oil)

>> No.6061724
File: 276 KB, 1920x1280, Thai_peppers.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6061724

Another challenge:
You must eat a pound of bird's eye chili in 3 hours for 2500 dollars.
You can prepare meals beforehand, the time starts when you eat the first bit of pepper.

If you puke before finishing but still manage to finish you only get 25%.

>> No.6061739

>>6056291
Anyone who wouldn't suck a dick for $50 has something to prove.

>> No.6061742

find some way to deconstruct/add on to the capsaicin molecule. or you could go the caveman scorched earth method and burn that to the point that capsaicin (and everything around it) decomposes. It'll probably taste like shit but at least it's not as spicy

>> No.6061750

>Slice
>Chop open
>Stuff with cream cheese and seasonings
>Deepfry
>Consume

>> No.6061757

I used to pretty much do this at movie theatres anyways. I'd ask them for tons of extra jalapeños and they'd fill a small drinking cup up for me to eat with my nachos.

>> No.6061778

>>6061724
not difficult

>> No.6061829

>>6056118

uhm peppers don't have solanine? cause they're not part of the nightshade family?

please do your research before fervently exclaiming medical warnings

>> No.6061899

>>6061724
These peppers are tiny. Would be pretty easy to just pop a bunch of them like pills in a few minutes with some water. Take the money, then puke once I have the money.

>> No.6062005

>>6061899
Yeah, they're tiny, but you're eating them by weight not by count.

I think I'd skip that challenge, myself. Those peppers vary pretty widely, but they're usually about on the level of Guatemalan insanity peppers.

>> No.6062019

>>6062005
>you're eating them by eight not by count.

Yes. But you seem to be missing the point. The point is that they're so small you can swallow them whole and thereby avoid having to deal with the vast majority of the heat. If the peppers aren't cut up and you don't chew them then you will never taste most of the heat. So swallow 'em whole, then vomit back up after you're done winning.

>> No.6062029

>>6055536
Can I just eat it straight? I can easily do that.

>> No.6062085

>>6055536
>take pound of peppers from challenger
>stare them in the eyes and eat them quickly
>if heat is too great after too many, continue eating and just yell proportional to heat
>take money, wait on toilet happily

>> No.6062649

>>6058805
>I'm betting your mother never taught you how to shop properly
I am a pretty decent shopper, the thing is I didn't grow up in poverty so we didn't have to live off of rice and beans and potatoes, and I do well with money so I have not turned to your broke $2.50 a day welfare lifestyle. Don'y be upset that not everybody eats shit and penny pinches like you, it is not necessary for some of us. I like to cook but I'm sure I am a consumer whore still in your eyes, I like to spend my free time having some fun or relaxing rather than making ice cream and tending the farm. You sew your own clothes too i bet, , how many cats do you own?

>> No.6062676

just blend them up with some lime juice and water then use a beer funnel

>> No.6062683

>>6055564
>>6056162
>>6056166
>>6056309
>>6056310
>>6056313
>>6056319
>>6056321
>>6056324
>>6056337
>>6056518

Am I the only one who realizes that if you fuckers start scraping shit out of the peppers then it doesn't really count.

"I'll give you a dollar if you eat this whole loaf of bread"

"Okay, but can I scrape all the innards out, trash them, and fill it up with soup?"

"No, you fucking moron"

>> No.6063181

>>6055536
> Fully stocked kitchen
Tequila, lemon/lime, little bit of salt

slice jalapenos into decent sized. Consume one after every shot. get shitty dicked on top of the line tequila, fuck 50 dollars.

>> No.6063187

slice in half lengthwise, fill halves with peanut butter. eat all of them. wonder why i did it for 50 bucks.

>> No.6063280

ILL JUST FUCKING EAT THEM RAW I DONT GIVE A SHIT

>> No.6064052

>>6063280
>I DONT GIVE A SHIT
You will.

>dat laxative effect

>> No.6064065

>>6061829
>cause they're not part of the nightshade family?
>Capsicum /ˈkæpsɨkəm/[3] (commonly known as peppers or bell peppers) is a genus of flowering plants in the nightshade family Solanaceae.
Just like potatoes, tomatoes, tobacco and (you guessed it) deadly nightshade.

>> No.6064421

>>6055536
>Hard mode:
dip jalapenos in vegan ranch dressing to subdue the heat
drink vegan soda or juice to deactivate the capsaicin

>> No.6064869

Chiles toreados:

Sautee jalapenos in oil until blackened and blistered
Drain oil, add soy sauce, lime, salt garlic and a bit of onion if you're so inclined, cook for 1-2 min

Take off heat and serve with tortillas

>> No.6065131

Can I pickle them?
If not, I'll just roast them, then devour them.

>> No.6065142

>>6062683

So you have to eat the stem too or it doesn't count?

>> No.6065333

Milk is your best friend when taking heat out of food. Those who have competed in pepper (ghost and habeneros) eating contests say they chase their peppers with milk.

>> No.6065349

>>6055536
>cut stems off
>chuck in blender with almond milk
>chug

voila, hard mode done.

>> No.6065353

>>6065349

good luck with that bro. no casein in almond milk so that's going to burn like a motherfucker.

>> No.6065378

>>6065131
I imagined that you'd be timed against other people trying to do the same

>> No.6066619

a candle and a lighter.

>> No.6066715

>>6055536
just how fully stocked are we talking here?
because if it's Noma-tier... there's lots of very interesting things to be done, like say reducing them all down into a sauce, making the sauce into gel pearls and dunking them down in a glass of frosty milk
or making ice cream out of them
or sous-vide pickling then infusing with truffle oil then stuffing with chevretine and herbs then rolling in candied rice batter and deep-frying

>> No.6066723

puree with a bunch of sugar

>> No.6066810

>>6065142
>2014
>not eating the stem of anything

I disagree with you but respect your opinion all the same.

>> No.6067664

>>6066715
I'll allow that, but I'd like to remind you you're going for speed.

>> No.6067702

>>6055536
>Hard mode: vegan
what is fresh pico de gallo. mmmm
fuck off

>> No.6067707

>>6055907
you're the true faggot here m8