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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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6053561 No.6053561 [Reply] [Original]

>People who raise their hands or call out to the waiter in restaurants.

>> No.6053567

Shit waiter who doesn't want to do his job detected.

>> No.6053572

>People who telepathically communicate their needs instead of calling out to the waiter in restaurants.

>> No.6053573
File: 427 KB, 652x470, f44412d80a171d6272952b2c12242231.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6053573

>>6053561
If you want another damn drink or a condiment you gotta get their attention some how. Not like I can just go strolling into the kitchen myself to get it.

>> No.6053574

>>6053561
if he raises his hand or calls you, youre the shitlord , friendo...

>> No.6053576
File: 19 KB, 192x192, P05iagcy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6053576

Garcon means boy

>> No.6053578

>>6053561
Is that a Zaku?

>> No.6053587

Well sorry, but you haven't looked in my direction for like 10 minutes and I want to fucking pay and leave already.

>> No.6053589
File: 88 KB, 1600x1600, constanzer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6053589

> people who talk really loudly at restaurants
> people who order dessert at restaurants
> people who take pictures of their food before eating it
> people at a table with others who are on their phone for more than 5 seconds

>> No.6053590

>>6053573
You catch their eye.

If you never practiced it, it might take a while, but once you have it down, you can get service almost immediately.

Did you never get taught this? If you literally can't catch their eye then you're in a shit restaurant and you're already fucked.

>> No.6053592

>>6053576
well jeh swee deh so lay monsignore

>> No.6053593

>>6053574
>>6053567
I've never worked in a restaurant or bar in my life. It's just something that seems to happen more and more these days whenever I go out to eat and it's just not done.

>> No.6053598

>>6053590
Yeah human eyesight is attracted to movement. To improve chances of being noticed in a crowded restaurant by using an audio visual cue such as saying their designated title and motioning with your hand it tends to be an effective eye catcher.

>> No.6053602

>>6053598
It's also rude. Jumping on top of the table and shitting yourself would also attract attention but it's not really polite either.

>> No.6053603

>>6053598
Or you just look them in the eye and nod.

But go flail around like an idiot. That makes you look cool.

>> No.6053606

>>6053590
The reason people have to raise their hands is usually because theyve already caught the waiters eye and he either ignored it or was too stupid to realize. You raise your hand so he knows damn well if he does not come right this second to do his job his boss is going to call him out on it.

Ive been to a few shitty places where waiters attempt to avoid or not see you. I usually raise my hand so its clear in these situations.

>> No.6053610

>>6053602
The waiter is there to serve you. Being rude is leaving a huge mess, constantly calling them away, insulting them for simply doing their job, or a variety of other things.

Saying somebody's name and catching their eye is a quick and efficient way of letting them know you need their assistance. They can take care of other business, you get what you need, and the world moves on. What is rude is trying to drop subtle cues that not everybody will catch onto while sweating over how long it is taking to get what you want.

>> No.6053614

>>6053610
But it doesn't take long at all. The only times it does is when the staff are all busy with other tables. Otherwise it doesn't take any time at all. Half a minute at the very most.

And if you literally can't spare half a minute, what are you doing in a restaurant?

>> No.6053619

>>6053603
In a restaurant where they have a lot of other tables, I've rarely caught their attention by looking at them and nodding. More upscale restaurants yes, but the little local ones don't have servers of that level usually. Thought I do see your point. All about different levels.

>>6053614
I've had many servers just pass me up multiple times and never look at my table no matter how many times I stare at them. Like in the other response, usually doesn't happen at the higher scale restaurants I go to but it happens all the time at more chain restaurants for me.

>> No.6053620

>>6053610
>Saying somebody's name and catching their eye is a quick and efficient way of letting them know you need their assistance.


Jesus people have no sense of etiquette these days.

>> No.6053630

>>6053561
The only people who have a problem with this are Americans who are so used to their waiters hounding them that they might as well join in the meal and think it's good service. A proper restaurant experience has the waiter leaving you alone after taking and bringing your order and then being close by for it you need to flag them down.

>> No.6053637

>>6053561
no tip for you.
shit-tier pretend job.

>> No.6053647

>>6053630

Ideally you should never have to flag them down. If the waiter is decent then he/she will already be on top of things like making sure you have the proper silverware, napkins, drink refills, condiments, and so on. You should never have to get a waiter's attention for any of that because they ought to be paying attention to your table and dealing with that stuff automatically.

If you have an unusual request like an atypical condiment or need them to turn off the overhead fan or something else that you need to get their attention for then they ought to be attentive enough that a look in their direction with eye contact should be all that's needed.

>> No.6053693

>>6053561

As for someone in the industry, I feel any waitstaff member should be constantly scanning around for anyone who needs assistance.

If you're need me I am either scanning for eye contact, or I am engaged with someone, or I am engaged in a task that needs me immediately.

If I am serving drinks, or carrying food, or talking to someone I will not be able to help you anyway and waving like an idiot will not help.

And for the love of god, don't yell across the dining area to get me. I'll be there, I'm on it, sit tight and I'll be there.

If you absolutely need to flag me down, do it in a polite manner.

Though this being said, I've worked with many, many idiots who can't serve, don't have good principals of service, or just don't care. Sorry for my colleagues ineptitude, the dessert is on us.

>> No.6053719

>>6053561
So let me get this straight:
I'm supposed to make reservations in advance, be "nice" to the snooty maitre d'hôtel, never make special requests, sit still like a little bitch while my waiter ignores me AND rip all the people involved in the above all the while?

Man, the USA is a funny country

>> No.6053725

>>6053719
ohhhh Yurop. Ripping the waitstaff is considered extremely rude.

>> No.6053728

>>6053647
This only works in america where waiting tables is a well paid proffesion .in Europe its filthy imigrants with no incentive because they are not getting tips from the cheap ass customers.
You have to be pretty rude to get their attention.

>> No.6053734

>>6053728

My friend just lived in Paris for 5 months. He said the restaurants there were terrible. Everyone gets paid shit, no one does anything and the food and drink selections were shit.

These are average places I'm speaking of

>> No.6053737

>>6053719
>while my waiter ignores me


This never happens in the US. I know its what you are used to. Try tipping .

>> No.6053741

>>6053734
Actually the service in Paris is pretty good compared to the UK

>> No.6053759
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6053759

>mfw on any other country than murica, the waiter lets you eat in peace and if you need more things, you flag him/her/it down

>> No.6053772

>>6053741

He said the UK was waaaayyy better than Paris, both in terms of food and service.

Maybe its just subjective.

I've not been to either place.

>> No.6053773

>>6053759
What sort of autist can't handle mild distraction while eating?

>> No.6053781

>>6053772
Sounds like he was eating in take out tier places.
Cheaper stuff is nicer in UK.
Fine dining in Paris is pretty impressive.

>> No.6053783

>>6053773
It might just be a "mild distraction" but it makes a difference between having a good dining experience and eating at some shitty burger joint.

>> No.6053802

>>6053781

That's pretty much it. Average eating out Paris was pale compared to England, which is not what I would expect from the French.

I just thought that was pretty shocking. He also said the Parisians were also rude and racist as fuck, and cafes were crap for service, food, and drinks.

He said Londoners were much more like New Yorkers, more excited to talk about their city and culture and restaurants were't just staffed by minimum wage idiots.

>> No.6053804

>>6053561
>waiters that don't do their job and fucking ignore their customers

>> No.6053810
File: 1.08 MB, 480x270, Kurihara Chiaki flustered.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6053810

>>6053759
>take family to a restaurant
>the waiter is near perfect, only interrupts once
>family complains afterwards that service was neglectful
>they didn't actually need anything, they just wanted the attention

>> No.6053812
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6053812

>>6053578
yup

>> No.6053814

>>6053728
I'm OP and I'm British. Shit what I described is what Americans do.

>> No.6053821
File: 408 KB, 242x180, check-please-o.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6053821

>>6053802
>Paris
>London
>New York

>> No.6053826

>>6053821
hello my baby, hello my darling, hello my ragtime gal...

>> No.6053832

>>6053826
i'll have the soup

>> No.6053833

>>6053734
>>6053741

The Parisians have a kind of macho service culture, which equates to the waiters being deliberately rude a lot of the time. If you go to pretty ordinary restaurants you get a lot of this shit. The UK is generally better, partially because of tips, partially because we have a more customer oriented way of doing things. In France, if you want to hire someone to provide a service they usually quote you a crazily high price, refuse to negotiate at all, take twice as long to do it, and generally not give a shit if you have any complaints. There's no ethos of capitalist competition which might lead to a better service. That's not to be overly negative, a lot of things about living there can be great, but the attitude to business can be grating to someone of an Anglo-Saxon persuasion.

>> No.6053838

>>6053773

I find American service really intrusive, they're like a fucking beggar trying to get you to give them money by pretending to be your friend, but it really comes across as someone just bothering you every few minutes.

>> No.6053842

>>6053838
>Is everything going alright?
>Is everything all right over here?
>How are you guys doing?

Every fucking goddamn minute

>> No.6053844

>>6053833
>service culture
>ethos of capitalist competition

fuck you, man! /pol/ faggot

>> No.6053846

>>6053602
The only reason it is rude is because they are lazy entitled little shits who don't want to do their job. If the customer just sat there and gave them puppy dog eyes the entire time the waiter could make excuses such as "oh I didn't know you wanted anything, I'm not a mind reader! I still deserve good tips!"

But since the customer raised their hand or called out vocally to them, they have NO CHOICE but to actually do their job, which just burns the fuck out of them.

>> No.6053849
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6053849

>>6053773
> going to "HEY GUYS HOWS EVERYONE'S FOOD" tier restaurants
>has never been to a restaurant that actually allows people to engage in conversation during dinner
>is probably autistic
seriously though, would you ever negotiate business at an applebees?

>> No.6053854

In Korea (im a foreigner living here) it's very normal to call out to the waiters, say i want one more bottle os soju all I'd have to do is just wave the bottle in their eyesight.
some people do some don't albeit it's a little rude.
although in a loy of places (night drinking places mostly bit regular places too) have a bell on the table which you press and a waiter will come to ypur table. Its called ding dong.
e.g my friend will say DING DONG! and I press that button.

>> No.6053855

>>6053838
this, fucking this.

>> No.6053857
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6053857

>>6053561
>Waiters who sit at your table

>> No.6053864

this whole idea that dining out is an "experience" is some bullshit

>> No.6053866

>>6053854
Also to add the waiters never come to your table unless you call to them, absolutely never, it's considered strange here. I guess (just a guess) eating ourt here is so common and it's not like a"fine dining" experience. People eat outside all the time, for some people (singles) its actually cheaper to eat out then to cook food at home

>> No.6053870

>>6053864

Why else would you dine out? It's more expensive than eating at home. Eating out is a luxury, whereby you pay additional money for convenience and/or the experience.

>> No.6053871

>>6053783
If you are an autistic perhaps.

>> No.6053873

>>6053864
seriously though

I go out to get good food that I dont have time to cook/dont want to put out the effort to cook at my own home

I don't go out to get attention. If every restaurant had an air of professionalism where you get your food, eat, and leave, it would be much better and this tip culture bullshit would probably end

>> No.6053878

>>6053870
>Why else would you dine out?
Because I want higher quality food than fast-food and I don't want to do the dishes

>> No.6053879

>>6053870
>luxury
>pay for experience

not when I got to fucking denny's for a goddamn breakfast smile

maybe when I go to Dorsia, and even then, I go for an atmosphere that smells nice, creates privacy for me an whoever I'm dining with, and has nice food

>> No.6053883

>>6053879
>I go for an atmosphere
PROTIP: that's an experience.

>> No.6053884

no sympathy for wait staff.

>> No.6053906

>>6053883
different from the one you're talking about. Don't ever compare fine dining to going to a shitty chain restaurant where the waiter reeks of weed

>> No.6053911

>>6053810
You mean you don't like being constantly asked if you want a refill? If everything is okay? And then hurried out so the service worker can get their next tip?

>> No.6053913

This cold service that you Europeans and some Americans are promoting sounds absolutely awful to me.
I sure hope it does not catch on in the states.
I expect full doting service when I go out and I tip handsomely for it.

>> No.6053914

ITT: dining fags

>> No.6053916

Maybe the waiter should stop being an idiot and come to the table more often

>> No.6053918

>>6053561
>People who raise their hands or call out to the waiter in restaurants.
protip: It means you aren't doing your job

>> No.6053920

>>6053590
So you just stare at people like an aspie to get attention? Turn down the autism dial.

>> No.6053925

>>6053866
>Also to add the waiters never come to your table unless you call to them, absolutely never, it's considered strange here

Sounds like a good place to eat out. That said it's not too bad here in the UK since most only do the "is everything okay?" once and then leave you to it.

>> No.6053926

>>6053810
Yeah.
>Good evening!
>Anything else?
>Are you enjoying your dinner?
I fucking was till you made those pathetic artificial communication attempts.

>> No.6053929

I wish I had the balls to click my fingers and loudly call the waiters "boy".

>> No.6053931
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6053931

>Waiter awkwardly stokes your inner thigh while you order

>> No.6053932

alright. let's get to the meat and potatoes of the issue: tip percentages. what type of service warrants what percentage tip relative to total bill?

>> No.6053935

>>6053932
Excellent service: 5% tip

>> No.6053937

>>6053925
>ost only do the "is everything okay?" once and then leave you to it.


That's called poor service

>> No.6053941

>>6053937
Better than having a begging vulture over my shoulder while I try to eat.

>> No.6053943

why raise the hand up all the way?
Most of the time making eye contact and lifting your hand slightly off the table (eye level at most) works.

>> No.6053952

>>6053932
>excellent service
>5%
This is perfect

>parties of 6 or more will have an automatic gratuity added
absolutely disgusting

>> No.6053953

>>6053941
Thats called being attentive and I reward generously for that .

>> No.6053954

>>6053932
I had some asshole eye-tal waiter spill some wine in my lap whilst he was pouring me a glass and he told me that it was good luck in the old country. Taking that bit of superstition into consideration, I tipped the mousse haired faggot 40%

>> No.6053962

>>6053954
I would have just tipped him my fedora, swished my cape, and walked away.

>> No.6053968

>>6053932
I tip my fedora roughly 10% downwards for good attentive service.

>> No.6053978

>>6053589
What's wrong with ordering dessert?

>> No.6053980
File: 67 KB, 461x717, 4b11R.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6053980

>>6053833
>ethos of capitalist competition
>unironically

off the fucking charts

>> No.6053986

>>6053978
Service workers don't like it when you overstay your welcome because that 10% tip from the dessert is not much compared to a new full tip they get by rushing you out the door for them to beg the next person for money.

>> No.6053989

They confiscated my fedora on arrival. Something about pinstripes and riveted air vents being unclassy

>> No.6053991

>>6053978
>Ordering desert
>Ordering food
>No emptying your wallet onto the table like a good customer and leaving

>> No.6053995

>>6053590
You're a ballbusting son of a cunt bitch.

>> No.6054007

>People who whistle for attention

Calling out is what normal people do as long as its not yelling. Whistling is just annoying.

>> No.6054015

>>6053590

So how autismic is it to stair at someone until they react? Are you that scared of waving down a waiter or god forbid actually talking to a person ?

>> No.6054019

Whats wrong with them asking if everything is alright?

>> No.6054027

>>6054019
Because a normal human being would already have told you if there was a problem. Also I dont know why they insist on asking about refills and not just doing it.

>> No.6054030

>>6054015
Greatest fears:
1.Waiving down a waiter
2.Actually talking to a person
3.Waiving down a waiter and actually talking to that person

>> No.6054031

>>6054019
It's only done in restaurants that are low class enough that the establishments have to move people in and out like cattle to make a profit, and waiters only work for tips

>> No.6054038

>>6054030
I completely understand you
Are you me?

>> No.6054372

>>6053561

cute little jap place in brooklyn. built like a joint where you'd film kung fu fights. multi-levels. all wood planks. dark. curtains in each booth.

a little button on the table you press summons a waiter.

entrance is nondescript.

Zenkichi

nigger why do I need to press the captcha if I'm gold? Fuck this.

>> No.6054427

>>6053589
>> people who take pictures of their food before eating it

w-well I don't get to eat out very often...

>> No.6054775

>>6053561
Waiter here
I actually like when people do this as sometimes i dont catch things or dont want to check on a table every 2 minutes to see if they finished their drink

if its busy though fuck off

>> No.6054800

>>6053593
>better just sit here quietly and hope the waiter notices me when I need something

betalord

>> No.6054808

>>6053986
oh well, lord knows im at a restaurant to please the service workers

>> No.6054809

>>6053986
At my restaurant I like it when the customers order dessert. Mostly because I hate seeing it go bad until we have to throw it away because all of our customers say they're too full for dessert. At one time, we had a waitress that actually made our desserts because she liked baking more than the chef does, so she loved selling them.

My place is kind of slow though, so I never need to rush anybody out even if I were that unprofessional

>> No.6054832

>>6054427
I bet you go to restaurants alone, too. Topkek

>> No.6054874

>>6053561

Or what? Let them guess by telephathy?

>> No.6055384

>>6053561
I just snap my fingers and they come to attention like Pavlovian trained dogs looking for some kibble.

>> No.6055398

>>6055384
No, the Pavlovian reflex happens when the chef rings the bell to signify there's an order up. During off-hours, he also uses it to tell the staff he's prepared food for everyone.

>> No.6055420

>>6055398
It doesn't have to be a bell it has to be any trained response from a given source, such as the snap of my fingers to a reward such as the expectation of a tip.

>> No.6055438

>>6055420
Yeah, but I've never had anybody snap their fingers for me, whereas I hear the bell every day. And the free food is a reward.

Of course the tip is most important, but my customers all have different ways of signalling me (or sometimes no signal at all), so I'm not conditioned as much to their actions from a lack of regularity.

>> No.6055447

Japan handles wait staff so much better.

1. no tipping
2. wait staff generally don't have assigned tables
3. tables have call buttons

they seat you, they take a drink order,they bring the drinks, they take an appetizer order, they bring the appetizers, they take your dinner order, they bring the dinner, they bring the bill, then they leave you alone unless called.

>> No.6055448

>>6055447
But they're sneak attack cunts and nobody cares about stinking japs.

>> No.6055457

>>6055447
If you want to get served more frequently, the proper and expected thing to do is to simply scream SUMIMASEN and the staff will know to serve you.

>> No.6055474

>>6055447
This sounds just how local Texas joints operate

>> No.6055584

>>6053593
>it's just not done.
> It's just something that seems to happen more and more

so apparently it is done

>> No.6055689

>>6053593
What the hell are you supposed to do when the waitress has decided that checking Facebook on her cellphone for half an hour is more important than bringing out your food?

>> No.6055906

>>6054372
>namefag
>announces "status"
You've earned a special 4chan block pass, faggot.

>> No.6055929

>>6055689
This has never happened to me. I guess service sucks where you live.

>> No.6055951

>>6055689
Throw a penny on the table and walk out of the shit joint; Never patronize that shithole again.

>> No.6055960

maybe the bitch waitress or waiter had to go on it's knees to get the job if you know what I mean, so it wont be attentive. It's not as if I've run out on a bill because that would be a legal issue, but if some bitch isn't paying attention and doesn't come to the table when I snap my fingers then it can fuck off.

Walk out and the bitch can call me out on the street, I'll always pay my bill but if that's what it takes to get the attention of a lazy hoar wannabe actress or actor it is what it is.

These fucks too often forget who's paying who.

>> No.6055994
File: 12 KB, 300x225, picard_rikerWTF.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6055994

>>6055689

I will hold up my hand to get the waitress
happens more when the place is half empty
I don't snap fingers
I have been ignored by waitress who pretended not to see me
I have never left no tip but will drop to 5% if bullshit goes down

why do owners allow anybody working to have cellphone on?

>> No.6056107

>>6053857
>Waiters who sit on your table

Didn't happen to me, but at one place the waiter was taking an order from table 1, and in a fit of laziness, sat her ass on table 2. While a couple was trying to eat at table 2. Seriously, what the fuck?

>> No.6056130

>>6053918

No. It means you now have a job *to* do.

>> No.6056138

>>6055994
because everyone/anyone who works at/owns a restaurant is on hard illegal drugs.

>> No.6056140

>>6056107
what about waiter who crouch down to take order?

>> No.6056163

>>6056140
Depends. If he does it a proper distance it's fine.

>> No.6056181

>>6053991
Epic meme post tryhard

>> No.6056194

>>6055448
>being racist toward glorious nipponese on an anime site

>> No.6056608

>>6053589
>people who take pictures of their food before eating it.
This is a disgusting habit to get in to.
I hate when someone does this, especially when I'm with them.
I have had to get rid of online friends that constantly shared pictures of their shitty chain restaurant food.
No, I don't give a shit what you're eating at chili's/applebee's/olive garden or whatever shit tier food shack you frequent.
Their kind are beneath contempt.

>> No.6056665

>>6055951
This.
There's about a dozen places I won't go back to because of bad service.
I even convinced a friend to stop having his birthday party every year at a pizza-bar'n'grill place that has shitty wait staff.
The last time I was convinced to go there with a group, mostly family. It was early afternoon, the waitress took 30 minutes to get us drinks, about an hour for our pizza and then never refilled our drinks (3.75 for 16oz that's half ice?), not even when she brought us the pizza, and a few of us had empty glasses, she proceeded to spend the entire time we were there sitting siting at the bar getting chatted up while drinking a cocktail.
I volunteered to get my share plus tip for 10 people.
>Tip on receipt: get better service

>> No.6056722

>>6056665
Do you ever go back to these places with bad service to see if they've hired new employees?

Also,
>not tipping
This guy >>6055994 has it right. You should leave a very low tip if you just plain get shitty service. Even if it's really shitty, just lower the tip, don't omit it. There are some dumb waiters out there that will look at no tip and be too distracted by pissiness and come to the conclusion that you're just a jerk or an idiot instead of try to figure out what went wrong. Leaving a low tip shows them you're on the level and get the custom, but if it's a pittance it should serve to shame them. No tip should be an extreme reserved for if you actually see your server spit on your food or something ridiculous. The kind of stuff you should also be refunded for.

>> No.6056727
File: 213 KB, 900x582, 2013-10-18-You-Got-Servered.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6056727

>> No.6056741

>>6056722
>Do you ever go back to these places with bad service to see if they've hired new employees?

No. On CK it's automatically assumed that a bad experience is normal. The concept of exceptions doesn't exist here.

>> No.6056770

>>6056727

Brilliant. This happens at literally every restaurant.

>> No.6056799

>>6056727
I miss this. Here in Italy they visit you twice: To take your order and drop off your food. Maybe at the end but sometimes you just go to the register to pay.

>> No.6056881

>>6053578
People who raise their hands or call out to the waiter make the monoeyes sad. don't make monoeyes sad :( what are you a fucking gundam or something

>> No.6056907

>>6053986
bull shit

service worker and I don't give a damn and even push dessert because then they order coffee and more shit and tip me higher. And it means they like the restaurant/my service enough to stay longer and they're more likely to be repeat costumers.

Even though we get a wait we're told not to rush, just have everything ready to go and be quick. We only rush if someone obviously wants it or if someone is a trouble maker.


Few things piss me off though.

maybe
>dine and dasher scum
>that one petty fuck about tipping "i'm gonna withhold it cause I didn't know your dressing was like that and now I have to wait a second for a new one"
>the couple of weirdos that wanna know every little thing the fish might have done and eaten before it was killed and put on their plates
>drunks
>poorfags bitching their poorfag bitches


Otherwise I've rarely had shitty costumers. I don't care if they shout my name for my attention, most I feel is a bit guilty that I didn't know they needed something before. I just do my job, keep in mind that every customer eventually leaves and the restaurant still stays, and collect my tips.

>> No.6057035

Short reminder that if you don't tip well american culture encourages waiters to spit in your food. Managers and othera cheer for that.

>> No.6057100

>>6057035
We don't have to spit in anybody's food when we can just prioritize all our other duties over serving the consistently bad tippers. Or we could even kick them out and refuse to serve them if we really wanted.

>> No.6057361
File: 93 KB, 276x200, autism.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6057361

>>6053561
>my thoughts when this entire thread:

>It was a late night at literally the best
>restaurant in a thirteen billion light year radius,
>Denny's. I was tired from a long day of brutal
>masturbation and needed to replenish my
>calories. I ordered the steak, rare of course,
>and a cup of coffee. I didn't degrade this
>masterpiece of the culinary world with
>anything, not even seasoning, as I knew that
>Denny's only used Kobe beef slaughtered on
>site. I dove right in and was finished in
>minutes, but my cup of coffee stood woefully
>empty after only the literal three trillionth refill.
>Not wanting to spoil the evening I simply
>attempted to make eye contact with my waiter
>by staring at her for a straight hour after she
>had given me the check. Only after I was
>escorted out by the police did I realize
>what was going on, the waitress did not
>want to arouse any suspicion, but I knew
>she loved me and simply refused to let
>me pay for my meal. I begged and
>Pleaded with the police to let me
>Just stare at her for a while longer
>As they used a forklift to carry my
>Slender, 3000lb physique out of
>the establishment. I knew that letting
>her know with a simple hand gesture
>would probably endanger her career
>as well as her life, so I simply continued
>starring at her as a wall was demoed
>to make way for the forklift that was
>carrying my lithe figure out. As the
>earthmover carried me out to the police
>station I simply tipped my fedora and
>threw a dollar fifty and some pocket
>lint in her general direction as what
>would most likely be the greatest tip
>of her life. I died of a surprising amount
>of aids the next day.

>> No.6058241

Zero Tip For You!

>> No.6058245

>>6054832
That's the epitome of keking for you? That's comedy qua comedy?

>> No.6058299

>>6053810
this is my feeling at all times. you shouldnt have been such a faggot and stood up about it.

>> No.6058309

>>6053602
>It's also rude.
No it fucking is not, unless you do it rudely.

>> No.6058381

>>6053589
and the worst of them all
> people who eat at restaurants

>> No.6058459

>people who breathe really often

>> No.6058473

>>6054832
S-so I-its not liked I prop a picture of my waifu up on my phone when I go out or anything baka.

>> No.6058482

>people who eat food

christ, is there anything that bothers your goobers more?

>> No.6058504
File: 2.44 MB, 530x742, 1414477351030.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6058504

>>6053603
>Or you just look them in the eye and nod.

*Orders respectfully in your direction*