/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.5935813]

>It's Halloween
>No foodgore thread
Really? Times have changed.

I'm going to dump what little I have

[Anonymous No.5935815]

[Anonymous No.5935818]

[Anonymous No.5935822]

[Anonymous No.5935824]

>>5935813
Hey OP, I only have this one.

[Anonymous No.5935825]

[Anonymous No.5935827]

[Anonymous No.5935828]

>>5935818
Is that some kind of... shrimp jello? Dear god...

[Anonymous No.5935829]

[Anonymous No.5935833]

[Anonymous No.5935836]

[Anonymous No.5935843]

[Anonymous No.5935847]

I thought I had more but I guess I don't.

Last post from me, the classic /tg/ meatbread and the thread it came from http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20154353/


>>5935824
Thanks

[Anonymous No.5935869]

>>5935813
at first glance that looks like a heart with batwings

[Anonymous No.5935873]

[Anonymous No.5935876]

>>5935818
Is that tank gravel as a garnsh?

[Anonymous No.5935877]

[Anonymous No.5935884]

[Anonymous No.5935892]

[Anonymous No.5935893]

[Anonymous No.5935898]

[Anonymous No.5935899]

[Anonymous No.5935901]

[Anonymous No.5935902]

The 50's/60's in the US were truly devoid of any culinary prowess.

[Anonymous No.5935907]

>>5935828
probably shrimp in aspic, which is like jello but made from broth and actual gelatin.

[Anonymous No.5935943]

>>5935902
Postwar America was rich as shit so for the first time the middle and working classes could afford lots of exotic and expensive cooking ingredients, unfortunately they also had no idea what the fuck to do with them.

[Anonymous No.5935951]

>>5935815
That pie is going to bang his girlfriend.

[Anonymous No.5935969]

>>5935907

Just because it's basically a savory jello doesn't make it bad. Some of it can be quite fucking awesome. Hell, the thing you just posted looks quite nice.

The shrimp thing though, yeah that's terrifying.

[Anonymous No.5935977]

>>5935902
the candle on the right looks like Sung Hoo's dick when he's all nice and satisfied...

mmm...

[Anonymous No.5935981]

>>5935943

It was also when home ec was a college course that was mainly for women. Remember, home ec is NOT the same as a cooking class. What do you do when you take a college course on how to make a loaf meal, form jello, and open cans properly? Use it in a job application. What kind of job would that get you? A spot in a cooking magazine if you agree to say X brand Y is the main ingredient.

[Anonymous No.5935993]

>>5935813
Can we have foodgore story time?

>Be at girls place for dinner
>Spaghetti
>okay, who can fuck up spaghetti, right?
>Oh... ... ...

>THE NOODLES
>Started the noodles in boiling water, break them in half. Okay, whatever, for some people okay, whatever.
>Decides half way through the cooking of the noodles that it's not enough
>Just throws in another batch of noodles five minutes in
>By the second batch of noodles are cooked the first batch looks a lot like some kind of water-bogged corpse left in the sun for way too long

>THE MEAT
>Ground beef thrown into a cold pan with water. It was lean. Lean meat in a cold pan with water.
>No spices
>No onions
>Bland only
>Final Destination

>THE SAUCE
>Literally a tin can of tomato sauce dumped on to the spaghetti noodles

Help me, /ck/. I've been a pretty good person all my life. What did I do to deserve this? ;___;

[Anonymous No.5935998]

>>5935993

Residual karma from a past life. But rejoice, you can see and understand the suffering you are going through. Use it to become a better person. Or just accept that food is food, no matter how bland it is. Accept the nourishment. Either way you will be one step closer to enlightenment.

[Anonymous No.5936004]

>>5935998
I accepted the nourishment, but I mean... god damn. When you tell someone you like to cook and you have a recipe box and all, there are expectations and all.

Maybe this was some intricate way to say "HEY, FUCK YOU YOUR TASTE BUDS, I DONT WANT YOUR DICK".

I like to think I have a pretty dick though

[Anonymous No.5936008]

>>5936004
>I like to think I have a pretty dick though

Go on then, post it. Link to a /b/ post of your dick if you must. Don't forget the time stamp.

[Anonymous No.5936013]

>>5936008
I-I'd rather not, that'd be too lewd mr.-NSA-senpai.....

[Anonymous No.5936017]

>>5936004
ask for salt and pepper... better than just bland shit. also this ... >>5936008

[Anonymous No.5936018]

>>5936013

All the cool kids are doing it though. Don't you want to be cool?

[Anonymous No.5936019]

>>5936017
There was literally no salt or pepper available.

I could not make this up.

I literally asked.

HEY, SO THIS LEAN GROUND BEEF IS GOING HERE... WE GOT ANY SALT OR PEPPER?

No.

The answer was no.

;___; Was I Hitler in a past life?

[Anonymous No.5936023]

>>5936019
oh man... fuck it, ask for ketchup.

[Anonymous No.5936028]

>>5936023
There practically already was ketchup drowning in the noodles. It was literally one-half spaghetti. I mean, got daym, she's a sexy ass redhead, but... Fuck. When you tell someone who can cook that you can cook it builds expectations. And then... this?

I think I need to make a proper meal just to, I don't know, put some perspective in.

[Anonymous No.5936033]

>>5936019
>Was I Hitler in a past life?

No no no, in all likelihood he came back as a TRULY unfortunate being like a plant or a rock. Then again, his actions might have been expedient means for him to achieve enlightenment... Who knows.

You were Hermann Goring maybe. I've always wanted to see his dick. Still waiting.

[Anonymous No.5936034]

eat that shit, have sex... cook everything for her from now on.
if she asks why, tell her sex was great.. unless it wasn't then just bail.

[Anonymous No.5936038]

>>5936033
This only makes me feel awkward as fugg.

>>5936034
I did. I did eat that shit. It was shit. It was the worst thing I have ever eaten in my recent life. I may as well have had a can of Chef Boyardee. That would've been better. There was no sex. I was given a shit meal and a shit encounter with her fascination with male models and teen boy bands. I'm pretty glad I'm done here.

0/10 taste would not recommend

[Anonymous No.5936043]

you poor bastard. That's all I can say. You probably were a french food snob in your past life

[Anonymous No.5936065]

>>5936038
>Be culinarian femanon
>Live-in boyfriend decides on pulled BBQ chicken, gets the ingredients, throws it in the crock-pot and lets it do its thing.
>Decide to chip in and make desert, perfectly moist and sizable cinnamon rolls
>Serving time
>Boyfriend makes pulled BBQ chicken sandwiches with the bread I make each week
>I steam up brocoli with a simple mild chili/butter sauce
>Opened a bottle of cheap Malbec
>Watch the original Halloween while we stuff ourselves
>The sex was great

Also here's a pic of some food gore to offset this story.

[Anonymous No.5937677]

bump

[Anonymous No.5937685]

>>5935899
sandwich rolls are delicious, just not shrimp-filled.

[Anonymous No.5937714]

>>5935993
>Noodles
Jesus fucking christ, are you retarded? The 'noodles' are called spaghetti you gigantic faggot.

[Anonymous No.5937732]

>>5936065
Is that a thing that can actually happen, or did someone just take a lighter to some noodles?

>>5936043
I'd like to think I was one of those European chefs who got fed up with how bland everything was, decided to buy a fucking boat and a crew, and traverse the unknown world for delicious herbs and spices.

At least I had a fun time, awful food not withstanding.

>>5937714
You aren't wrong but fuck you.

[Anonymous No.5937739]

>>5937732
>did someone just take a lighter to some noodles?

Take a look in the top right...

[Anonymous No.5937749]

>>5937739
What am I looking for? The only thing I can see that'd cause the noodles to catch fire would be heat from the pot. Look at those four left most noodles and where the burns seem to start: where the noodle is in contact with the pot.

[Anonymous No.5937757]

>>5935843
This is terrifying... It's not real, is it?

[Anonymous No.5937779]

>>5937739
What am I looking at?

[Anonymous No.5937804]

>>5935813
OC here: meatloaf made from beef, pork, venison, and chickenfat, topped with sprinkles

[Anonymous No.5937819]

>>5937804
Oh god, it looks infected.

[Anonymous No.5937843]

>>5937714
fuck you and fuck your goddammed face you pretentious fucktard. Spaghetti is a type of noodle. For all you know, they were linguine, angel hair, or even fucking wagon wheel pasta noodle. Nowhere in the story did the poster specify the shape of the fucking noodles. Eat a dick.

[Anonymous No.5937878]

>>5937843
To be fair, the dish that's typically called Spaghetti should be more accurately called Spaghetti Bolognese, since that's the typical sauce used...

[Anonymous No.5937888]

>>5937779
>>5937749
This, I can't see anything that would cause them to be lit on fire like that unless the person deliberately lit them up.

[Anonymous No.5937889]

>>5937732
>noodles
How are you this retarded. We're even on a cooking board.

[Anonymous No.5937894]

>>5937889
>Being this autistic

[Anonymous No.5937899]

It is threads like these that I am reminded that I am thankful for being in the here and now.

god the food from the 50/60s are so depressing to look at

[Anonymous No.5937925]

[Anonymous No.5937930]

[Anonymous No.5937933]

>>5937925
Reminds me of that maggot cheese.

[Anonymous No.5937939]

>>5937933
>b-but it's a delicacy
the fuck outta here with that shit

same with the century egg

[Anonymous No.5937941]

>>5937714
...spaghetti is a type of noodle. I think you are probably the retarded one.

[Anonymous No.5937949]

>>5937925
Anon no one wants to see what you vomited into your jack-o-lantern last night.

[Anonymous No.5937951]

[Anonymous No.5937956]

>>5937939
u wot? I compared it to maggot cheese because of how disgusting it is. Quit your projecting.

[Anonymous No.5937957]

>>5937930
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

THE ABJECT HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Anonymous No.5937966]

[Anonymous No.5938238]

>>5937956
I wasnt referring to you. That is just how typical faggots who try and defend eating shit like that

[Anonymous No.5938849]

>>5937843
>>5937941

Hahahahahahahhahahahaha. Great post, amerifag/10. Spaghetti is a type of pasta you cunt, just like tagliatelle, fusilli, macaroni and penne.

>tfw the guy that got corrected accepts he's wrong but 2 other neckbeard basement dwelling faggots stand up in his stead to share their wrong uncultured knowledge

[Anonymous No.5938894]

>>5937939
>same with the century egg

casu marzu cheese has live maggots in it, and banned in the eu until recently

how do you even make that comparison when century eggs are safe to eat

[Anonymous No.5938924]

>>5938849
Actually spaghetti is a noodle because it's from China. The grease ball Italians can't come up with anything on there own.

[Anonymous No.5938935]

>>5937930

MY

FUCKING

OCD

[Anonymous No.5938944]

>>5935951

[Anonymous No.5938946]

[Anonymous No.5938968]

>>5938924
>implying the -potential- origin changes the fact that it's prepared differently with different ingredients

[Anonymous No.5939011]

>>5938894
century eggs were banned, too iirc