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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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5763379 No.5763379[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

What if there were a Food Police that enforced laws against mayo on burgers, pineapple on pizza, ketchup on hot dogs, olives in calzones, cheese on apple pie, etc?

>> No.5763387

>>5763379
I'd ask them why they have laws against very common things

>> No.5763389
File: 1008 KB, 320x240, 1362560352349.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5763389

I think people who complain and whine about what other people eat and how they eat it need to find something more productive to do with their lives.

They're like a grown up version of that one annoying little shit from your elementary school who cried to the teacher because you mixed your corn with your mashed potatoes.
Fuck those people.

>> No.5763414

>>5763389

I used to mix my mashed potatoes with grape jelly. Fucking awesome.

>> No.5763879
File: 48 KB, 480x700, 1394766684299.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5763879

>go to local diner
>order some steak n' eggs cuz, why not?
>qt waitress smirks
>she wants the D
>order a coffee
>nice diner coffee with a dash of cream, chat up the waitress each refill
>food comes out, alright errything's here
>reach for a condiment bottle
>hear rapping
>isdisdaraven.jpg
>/CK/ FOOD POLICE, AUTISM ORDINANCE HAS BEEN VIOLATED!
>wut.bmp
>be put on ground, kneeled on by heavily-breathing neckbeard
>doesn't get off me until hop-infused IPA is provided, via graze.com
>mfw

>> No.5763882

>>5763879
>cream in your coffee.

>> No.5763883

>>5763879

>tfw qt waitress called the food police on you

>> No.5763905

>>5763879
>trying to be funny
>all that green text
>failing

>> No.5763921

>>5763379

>pineapple on pizza
Why do people hate the goat pizza?

>> No.5763970

>>5763921

because they don't understand anything that's not simple. pineapple pizza has a complexity to it that frightens most manchildren

>> No.5763975

>>5763921
No one was talking about pizza frutti di mare here, just a disgusting american abomination with pineapples.

>> No.5763980

>>5763970
>guise, guise IT ARE SWEET AND SOUR AND IT ARE ON PIZZA!!!!
>look at how epicurean I am!!!!

>> No.5763981

>What if...

What if my aunt had a dick? Would she be my uncle?

>> No.5763982

>>5763975

nobody thinks you're sophisticated and all of your friends and family make fun of you when you turn your back.

>> No.5763987

I fucking LOVE pineapple on pizza.

Zoom zoom zoom!

>> No.5763988

>>5763981

my boss tells this joke like once a week.

>> No.5763991

>>5763988
That's why he's your boss. He's a witty mofo.

>> No.5763992

>>5763980
>epicurean

you have no idea what that word means.

>> No.5763998
File: 806 KB, 450x338, OP.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5763998

>>5763379
>STOP LIKING WHAT I DON'T LIKE.

>> No.5764009

>>5763379
>ketchup on hot dogs
they should really enforce against anyone picking hot dogs over brats or other superior sausages. If you are eating a fucking hot dog, its not even worth the ketchup fight

>> No.5764016

>laws against mayo on burgers, pineapple on pizza, ketchup on hot dogs, olives in calzones

All of those are nice. I prefer creme fraiche instead of mayo as base for my sauces, though.

>cheese on apple pie

Ok that's disgusting

>> No.5764029

Maybe we could just have a separate room in restaurants for people that put mustard on things.
Us normal people don't want to smell that rotten yellow shit while we're trying to eat.

>> No.5764040

I'd shoot them dead on sight.

No mayo on burgers is tyranny.

>> No.5764041

>>5764029
>he doesn't like mustard seed and vinegar
>two basic ingredients that have been in use for thousands of years
yeah, you're a fag

>> No.5764046

>>5764009
heh, good one

>> No.5764058

>no ketchup on hot dogs
Who cares about what people put on their garbage balonga sticks? Its a fucking hot dog. It's already shit.

>> No.5764060

>>5764029
stop eating shitty yellow mustard

>> No.5764064

If you eat hot dogs, its definitely not your place to judge others' food habits

>> No.5764067

>>5764064
>being too cool for sausage on a bun
So, what's it like not having friends? Is wizardchan really as depressing as people say it is?

>> No.5764077

>>5764067
>>being too cool for sausage on a bun
Hold your horses, I love sausage on a bun, the problem obviously is hot dogs are really shitty forms of sausage. How did you not get that?

>> No.5764080

>>5764067
>sausage

That's a good one.

>> No.5764096

>>5764077
What shit hole do you live in where you can't get a decent frank or red hot?

>> No.5764100

>>5764067
Hot dogs are to sausage what Kraft Singles are to cheese

>> No.5764103

>>5763982
>i am insecure about my pleb status, eat projection, sucker!

>> No.5764104

>>5763982
Hahahaha whoa that's intense Kek

>> No.5764108

>>5764096
Hot dogs are an inherently inferior form of sausage, even when made well

>> No.5764113

>>5764096
They are, by definition, shit tier sausage.

>> No.5764119
File: 52 KB, 670x461, ottodog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5764119

>>5764100
Why do you buy shitty hot dogs? Why would you do that to yourself? All beef, freshly made, and local. What's wrong with that?

>> No.5764122

>>5764100
Precisely

>> No.5764124

>>5764113
>>5764108
>my ground offal is better than your ground offal

>> No.5764126

>>5764119
>All beef
why would that be better than a pork/beef blend? Pork makes excellent sausage

Sounds like bullshit to me

>> No.5764139

>>5764119
Why would you ever buy that over a "freshly made, local" brat?

>> No.5764143

>>5764139
maybe, like me, they like all kinds of sausages

>> No.5764149

>>5764139
because the only people that like glorified breakfast sausages are mooks from flyover states?

>> No.5764151

>>5764143
I like very many kinds of sausages, thats why the idea of picking a hot dog is comical. I only specified brats because they are just as easy to find as hot dogs and way better

>> No.5764156

>>5764149
breakfast sausages are better than hot dogs too

>> No.5764157

>>5764151
So, what's summer like in the midwest?

>> No.5764159

>>5764151
Have you never had any other finely ground sausages or do you only eat coarse

>> No.5764160

>>5764157
we call september "fall" in the midwest

>> No.5764161

>>5764139
>implying there is much of a difference between most types of sausage
>implying what he posted could not be considered a bratwurst

you pretentious fucks are the worst

>> No.5764164

>>5764119
Nothing is wrong with it. It's just low quality sausage. I eat them still.

High quality sausage would be something like sopressata. Non mushy texture, complex flavor

>> No.5764169

Why are people defending hot dogs? Are you 12?

>> No.5764173

>>5764160
Well, like everything else, you're wrong, since summer ends the 21st. But i don't expect much from people that think a burger soaked in butter is hot shit.

>> No.5764176

>>5764159
Polish sausages are really common too, and much better than hot dogs

>> No.5764180
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5764180

>>5763379
>What if there were a Food Police that enforced laws against mayo on burgers, pineapple on pizza, ketchup on hot dogs, olives in calzones, cheese on apple pie, etc?

I would probably be the god damn Dirty Harry of the Force, that's what.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz84GKxy7b0

>The other day, I have some out of town guests, old buddies of mine.
>Take them to a nice old school steakhouse in town. Not the best, super fancy clean the crumbs off your plate but the steaks are still between $30 -$45 and are quality, so a pretty good place for the working middle class.
>One friend asks for A1
>The other Ketchup

Now I'm a realist, we can't all have pure steaks, I'll let steak sauce slide but ketchup? God damn. I was really hoping he was just using it with his fries (they both ordered fries...over a baked, twice baked, or mashed...) but dipping your steak pieces in ketchup, that is a big no. He should have gone directly to jail and not collected $200 or passed go.

video very related. The very essence of my being.

>> No.5764188

>>5764173
>implying astronomical seasons are the only definitions of the terms

Meteorological season are very arguably more relevant, but regardless of how you are defining it, your post is silly

>> No.5764197

>>5764173
>But i don't expect much from people that think a burger soaked in butter is hot shit.
sounds delicious

>> No.5764210

Friendly reminder that a hot dog is a sausage

>> No.5764216

>>5764210
just a really bad one

>> No.5764217

>>5764197
Eh, not as good as you'd think. However, peanut butter, pickles, grilled onion. and bacon on a burger...they were right about that. It should be terrible. It should make you want to vomit. Instead, it's fucking incredible.

>> No.5764224

>>5764217
>Eh, not as good as you'd think
I can't imagine it wouldn't be really good

>> No.5764423

>>5764161
You say that like you don't realize where you are.

>> No.5764452
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5764452

>>5764423
yeah...

>> No.5764453

but I like olives in calzones and pineapple on pizza, while not my favorite toppnig, is ok

>> No.5764462
File: 979 KB, 1920x1080, Pizza Hut.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5764462

>>5763379
revolution.

arise, proletariat.

>> No.5764711

>>5763379

I'd lobby for a rule that prevented people from eating mashed potatoes without gravy. And all mashed potatoes must be eaten volcano-style.

>> No.5764779

>>5763379
You'd live in the Soviet Union of America.

>> No.5764786

>>5764711
You monster.

>> No.5765526

>>5763379
>pineapple on pizza

I used to feel the same way and then tried it with some jalapenos. It was like pineapple salsa and it was absolutely delicious.

>> No.5766085

>>5763980
If you're trying to criticize people who take their food too seriously, it makes less sense if you're arguing against something as basic as pineapple pizza

>> No.5766198

I'd be one of those edgy retarded "fuck the pigs" types.

I fucking love pineapple on pizza.

>> No.5766207

Seriously, pepperoni, pineapple, jalapeno...
That shit is the best.

>> No.5766225

I was once as this mid end steak place that was privately owned, the owner was the chef. His "thing" was his blackened ribeye. This Shit was amazing... Later that night he gets into a shouting match with a customer that wants..
A... Ketchup
B... His steak well done...
Since the owner was a stereotypical short chef he took offense to the request.
But damn... A well done PORTERHOUSE with ketchup??? I understood the owners issue. But damn, the man is paying your bills. Can't be yellin at customers.

>> No.5766243

>>5763992

He used it correctly tho..

>> No.5766281

>>5763379
Mayo on burgers?
nobody would tolerate that law. Viva la Revolucion!
Pineapple on pizza?
Really? I like it.
Ketchup on hot dogs
I don't like it but I don't care if people do it.
olives in calzones
how is that even a thing people get upset about?

Well done steak
A lynch mob would be too good for them.

>> No.5766314

>>5764016
There's soft desert cheeses, and depending on the type of apple and the crust, a sharp cheddar works really well. Be less of a faggot.

>> No.5766320

>>5765526
Get a Hawaiian with Jalapenos and Pepperoni. Shit is god tier.

>> No.5766360

>>5765526
Get it with Italian sausage, pineapple and jalapeno peppers. Fucking incredible.

>> No.5766372

>hating on pineapple as a topping
Fuck the faggots that bitcht that it's not a real topping, despite 99% of pizzerias on the planet have it as a menu option.

>> No.5768899
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5768899

>> No.5768903
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5768903

>> No.5768905
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5768905

>> No.5769936

>>5766320
>>5766360

Both of these are on point. You need a strongly flavored meat to stand up to the tang of pineapple. This is where the regular Hawaiian fails - plain ol' ham just isn't enough.

>> No.5769967

I think it's hilarious that people rage about ketchup on hotdogs, but think it's fine on burgers.
Anyway, OP is a huge cock gobbling fedora.

>> No.5769970

>>5766320
This.
One of the best pizza combos ever.

>> No.5770068

>>5764058
> Says the guy who can't spell bologna.

>> No.5770280

>>5769936
Try ham that doesn't come in a can.

>> No.5770510

sorry op. a nice try and sjl like blew you off. food cops. well firstest their shouldn't be any but... putting a cup of sugar in ahalf gallon of iced tea then saying we don't drink soda, sir? lay down thay spoon. we saw you lick the back and put it in the soup.. whoever the sob, somewhere some place should be liklled who invented salad bars. soup bars, or any bars should go straight to hell.(notice there is never a real bar free liquor and beer, a seafood "bar" smile :) it was a disaster I doubt xxxx company will ever be welcome at xxx xxx conference center and motel. after that debacle. sorry might be old but Hi welcome to xxx. that will be 14.95 per head . you wanted the 4.95 with that? I'll check sorry, unless family or religious functions, not a great fan of buffet dining. alocal world reknown motel (starting price > 400/night) high welcome to xxx xxx xxx welcome to oor salad, fruit, cheap meat and swamp fed shrimp. sorry I dislike buffets once upon a time a dishwasher, busboy, line cookie. buffet are hard to set up/ take down. and costly my hat's off. tipf the fedora. thinking "outside" the box