the end fast approaches

[Anonymous No.5729806]

I'm probably going to go ahead and kill myself in the next two to four months. My long term girl friend decided to dump me because I'm still working on my doctorate while she got a job and since I can't buy nice furniture I should fuck off. My parents are more angry at me than they have ever been in my entire life (I stole a care while in high school so I'm pretty sure they're really fuckin' angry) because this relationship is over and they like her more than they like me.

I'm meeting with my advisor tomorrow but considering that he's not bothered to respond to my emails for most of the last 12 months I'm not to optimistic.

So, /ck/ what should I make sure I eat sometime in September or early October just to have experienced it before I die? FYI, I was vegetarian for 12 years, until about two years ago, so there's a slightly higher probability that I've not experienced some meat dishes. I love to cook, hence asking /ck/ and not /b/ regarding my an hero. I won't necessarily mind spending a full day preparing my own final meal.

[Anonymous No.5729819]

>>5729806
>things didn't go as I planned so I'm going to experience the world first and then eat a really awesome meal before I die

Sounds like every post on /trv/, but for food

Just rack up a bunch of credit card debt and collect michelin stars. Then when they come after you move to some shitty third world country and teach engrish.

Source: I used to be a regular on tee are vee.

[Anonymous No.5729820]

>>5729806
Wait, what are you getting a doctorate in?

[Anonymous No.5729825]

>>5729819
I already have ~$130k in student loan debt so I'm really sure that credit cards are the solution to my problem. I also don't think I'm likely to garner michelin stars very quickly, despite my enthusiasm.

>>5729820
anthropology.
yes, I should have an heroed a decade ago

[Anonymous No.5729831]

just drink some whiskey and man up. I don't know your pain but am probably in a much less desirable life position than you are. and you mention you love to cook. you love doing something which is a lot more than many people can claim. I've never had a long term girlfriend and don't really love doing anything but getting drunk and sleeping but I'm still kickin.

an hero if you must but you have nothing to gain. think about that. and you have alot more to lose than most people.

[Anonymous No.5729844]

>>5729825
I mean, I guess you could become a teacher for it and get debt forgiveness after 10 years, other than that I really don't know what kind of job you can get with that major.

[Anonymous No.5729851]

>>5729831
>man up
>use alcohol to drown your problems

there is no point in living like that.

[Anonymous No.5729871]

>>5729825

They can't get seize your assets if you live in a mud hut in Cambodia

It is time to discover your True Inner Self, anon

Get out of the sinking ship that is {your country}

[Anonymous No.5729875]

>>5729844
I've applied for two dozen teaching jobs in the last month but I need the PhD to get a university, or community college, job and I need another Masters (in Education) to be allowed to tell 10 year olds when it's lunch time.

I was doing contract archaeology, digging holes for electric, cell phone and oil companies, but the work is irregular and it's not worth sitting around waiting for four months to get two weeks of work three states away with no gas allowance.

Museums are dead, they can hardly pay to even keep their collections from rotting and I can't compete with the kids who spend four years studying 'museum science' even thought they've never dug a single artifact out of the ground and tried to document it's context.

At least I care about preparing quality meals but in the end that just made my ex angrier. I'd spend two hours prepping for dinner after my part time job and when I asked if she had any suggestions or requests when she got home she'd bark at me for "stressing her out."

I feel like I've been living the twilight zone version of sexual oppression in the 1950s for the last half a decade and everyone's angry at me because I didn't keep her happy enough.

[Anonymous No.5729878]

My brother hung himself. My mom will never be the same. Shit sucks bro, at least make it look like an accident or something

[Anonymous No.5729894]

>the people who should love you the most stop liking you because you can't obtain material goods
what a depressing life

[Anonymous No.5729899]

>>5729875
Hey anon,

This could be a troll post, or it could be legit. On the off chance it's the latter I recommend you leave the country. Go find a job teaching English in Asia and build a new life.

Let the old you die and become someone new. Fuck your family, your cunt of an ex, and everyone else. Enjoy the flavors of South Asia and let come what may.

[Anonymous No.5729907]

>>5729878
My mom is probably the worst one. She blames my dad for every problem in her life when she lived in a house that his parents bought for them for almost 20 years after the divorce. She constantly complained about the fact that he only paid what he was legally required to pay for child support, missing zero payments over the course of 16 years, while his mother provided free and enthusiastic child support for most of that time.

Fuck, half of my suicidal rage stems from my mother telling me that she is "uncontrollably furious" at me because I'm moving out of my ex's place. Apparently I'm supposed to offer myself up as a slave for the vague possibility of future children because I'll never be worthy of the love of another woman, just like my dad.

[Anonymous No.5729915]

>>5729899
I ain't trying to troll. I'm just so fucked that /ck/ seems like decent place for advice right now.

[Anonymous No.5729929]

>>5729806
>even if she was perfect for you a girl isnt a reason to leave(she sounds like she wasnt perfect for you)
>most people parents dislike them. mine hate me.. just move on and ignore the fact they dont like you. (stealing a car isnt a reason to not like your child)

those are both temporary problems OP. just live your life and focus on the good things you have going for you. consider meditation, it helps a lot. A LOT.

talk to a therapist too. they might be able to help you if all that other stuff isnt all you need.

>try this one of these days btw. looks good as fuuuuug
youre gonna make it brah

[Anonymous No.5729946]

>>5729851
why not anon? I'm not dead and am enjoying myself sometimes. living drunk is so much better than the inevitable eternal sobriety. it isn't a glorious lifestyle but its better than being dead, being drunk is awesome. If I ever get depressed enough to want to actually kill myself I plan on picking up an opiate habit instead. fuck suicide, live better through medicine.

[Anonymous No.5729952]

>>5729875
>>5729875
>be me
>be reading this post
>be studying museum studies
>not even in my masters program yet
>already have a job lined up

Its fuckin easy man. Just bro it up with all the older male curators at smaller museums. Get some sick recommendations because you are competing against like 80% chicks and 15% autistic creeps who will get arrested for theft/pedophila in like 2-3 years. They want to know that a straight white male will be able to take their place when they retire, instead of some little tranny faggot or artsy SJW chick. Or if you're black just go to detroit or w.e black shithole you can think of and say you would give a better view than all the white shits like me.

Also being able to dig up a fucking artifact is a useless skill in a museum. And when museum curators were doing that it was the fuckign 1800s and probably destroyed more shit than they saved.

[Anonymous No.5729953]

>>5729806
are you indian?

[Anonymous No.5729956]

>>5729929
Thanks, I can't afford a therapist. I owe over $100k in student loans and I can't afford mental or behavioral health coverage on my income. Every time I get a paycheck the creditors call within 24 hours.
And they call my dad and they call my mom and my life is having a huge student loan burden and being ineligible for further deferments because dissertations are supposed to be magically done in three months and I should be able to find a full time job when I made the worst possible career choice other than 'soviet dictator.'

[Anonymous No.5729962]

>>5729915
what's the big fucking deal? You still have a career path ahead of you and have had a girlfriend. You're so normal it hurts

[Anonymous No.5729963]

>>5729946
thats one way of looking at it. but ive found that alcohol masks a lot of shit you should deal with whilst sober. also its killing you quicker than the rest of us.
>source:an alcohol
consider meditation too. theres always weed to take the edge off instead of frying your guts

just consider it. for you, your family..
youre gonna make it too brah

[Anonymous No.5729967]

>>5729962
a dead end career path

[Anonymous No.5729976]

>>5729956
dude i owe like ..who fuckin knows how much i owe.. just disregard them. theyl get their money whether you pay them now or never.
disregard humanity if its not good for your mind.

>pay your bills if you legitimatley owe but dont let it eat you up.

[Anonymous No.5729980]

>>5729967
then change your course. look into some other career

[Anonymous No.5730000]

>>5729963
>consider it. for you. your family

:(

I....I will now. I used to be a hard herb smoker and just gave it up for my booze, I like drinking more. I need to get back on it, I am not the kind of person who can fall asleep and function sober. it's way healthier, I know I'm pickling myself into a dissection corpse with all this booze lately.

lets get better anon. I'm not in good shape either. but don't off yourself plz.

[Anonymous No.5730002]

>>5729980
At 36 the options are limited.

[Anonymous No.5730006]

>>5730002
whut

forget eating meat, op. just go on a shooting spree. actually do the world some good that way

[Anonymous No.5730019]

http://french-foreign-legion.com/

You will have your past self erased in name, debt, everything. Besides maybe having your name changed to Pierre and bunking with a Russian mobster/Somalian axe murderer its a sweet deal.

[Anonymous No.5730022]

>>5730006
I can't just galavant off to get a culinary degree or get a business loan to start a diner.

[Anonymous No.5730030]

Are you just tired op? Can't be bothered? Sick of struggling and dealing with the same problems and people? And for what? It's not going to get better, you'll only get older, fatter, uglier, life will only become more boring, harder, colorless.

You're making the right decision, though I can only suggest doing it sooner rather than later

[Anonymous No.5730031]

>>5730019
Yeah, I looked into that in high school but the eastern europeans are more competitive than my sloppy American ass. I won't make the cut.

[Anonymous No.5730033]

>>5730030
Are you reading my mind Anon? Sure feels like it.

[Anonymous No.5730042]

Fuck it. I'll bite. Early October, yeah? Get yourself some sugar pumpkins. They're the eating kind. Should be fairly cheap. Roast them, saving the seeds for other fun. Take the delicious roasted goods and start making stuff. Pies, soup, muffins and bread. Season the fuck out of them. Try some new things. I put a little Cayenne in my pumpkin pie. Pretty good if you ask me.

You're picking a really tasty time of year to die. Take advantage of the harvest.

[Anonymous No.5730043]

>>5730033
Im just an oldtimer and I've been through all of it before and regret not ending it before I found myself with children

[Anonymous No.5730045]

>>5730042
A real pumpkin pie, not some shit from a can. That's a good idea. I fucking deserve one real pumpkin pie with scratch made crust and honest to god pumpkin filling.

This is #1 on the list, thank you Anon.

[Anonymous No.5730046]

>>5730022
start smaller then

[Anonymous No.5730050]

>>5730043
contradictory. you should have said that first you shithead

[Anonymous No.5730054]

You could try moving to a warm place and being a bum. If it sucks, you can always jump off a building eventually, but the time being away from everything might dull the pain that you won't want to die anymore.

Failing that, try to eat something endangered.

[Anonymous No.5730055]

>>5730050
disregard that. i thught you were saying kids made life better for u. youre still a shithead tho

[Anonymous No.5730056]

>>5730042
whenever i think of the fall i think of lovers going and picking pumpkins together and cuddling up under a blanket sipping hot coco

[Anonymous No.5730059]

i'm a vegetarian, but one meat dish i enjoyed was "beef rendang". iirc, it's one of the few dishes that goes from boiling to frying in the same pot.

basically a bunch of flavorful herbs/spices goes into a liquid and all the broth gets absorbed by the beef, making it super-tender and great.

where do you live? based on that, i'd recommend things like BBQ and stuff

[Anonymous No.5730065]

OP here, I'm going to go get some sleep. I've been drinking for the last six hours and I started late today.

I don't know.
I appreciate advice on dishes I should try. I want things to cook that will give me something to live for, of only for another day.
If it has blown your mind, woken you out of a daze, given you a jolt...maybe it will delay my imminent death by few hours.

All submissions considered.

[Anonymous No.5730067]

>>5730045
You're goddamn right. Just be careful pulling the roasted pumpkin out because you're going to want to shovel it into your mouth

[Anonymous No.5730071]

>>5730059
thanks, added to the list

[Anonymous No.5730072]

Maybe I am. Though I think I would have gone ahead and killed myself despite having kids if I was really a bad person but it's neither here nor there. Just letting op know that for people like me and him life doesn't always get better no matter what other people say

[Anonymous No.5730086]

>>5730065
this is something i made for my pops when i was down in the dumps. even if yuor parents dont like you, you can be happy OP
youre gonna make it brah


dads jambalaya
8 strips hoffy bacon minced (1package) 280kcal/24proton/28fat
8 aidelles cajun andouille sausage 24 oz. 1280kcal/120proton/88fat
5 skinless chicken thighs cubed 410kcal/70proton/15fat
1/2 lb shrimp 240kcal/46proton/4fat
onion minced 64 kcal/2proton/0fat
bellpepper minced 31kcal/1proton/0fat
6 celery minced 52kcal/3proton/1fat
old bay seasoning + cayenne to taste
4 cups chicken broth trader joes 80kcal/4proton/4fat
2.5 cups rice 657kcal/15proton/5fat
1 cup canned crushed tomatoes 80 kcal/4proton/0fat
worteschire sauce
salt n pepper to taste
large pot medium heat cook bacon till crisp. add sausage and chicken cook till bacon chicken is mostly done. remove with slotted spoon.

add veg to oil and cook till tender. throw meat back in and add canned tomatoes, broth, water, creole seasonings n salt pepper, and worteschire sauce. bring to boil and add rice. bring back to boil then turn heat low and cover and simmer till rice is tender 10+ minutes.
throw in shrimp 5 minutes before serving. heat through.

3174kcal/289proton/145fat

dads jamabalaya
4 strips bacon minced
4 chicken thighs cubed
1/2 onion minced
1/2 bellpepper minced
3 celery minced
old bay seasoning+light cayenne
1 1/2 cup chicken broth
1 1/2 cup rice
1 cup canned crushed tomatoes
1/2 cup water
worteschire sauce
salt n pepper to taste

large pot medium heat cook bacon till crisp. add chicken cook till mostly done. remove with slotted spoon.

add veg to oil and cook till tender. throw meat back in and add canned tomatoes, broth, water, creole seasonings n salt pepper, and worteschire sauce. bring to boil and add rice. bring back to boil then turn heat low and cover and simmer till rice is tender 10+ minutes.

[Anonymous No.5730095]

OP, it's so sad that you feel like this is your only path to follow. I'm very sure your parents love you, maybe write an open an honest letter to each of them. it can't make things worse, anyway

Seconding the other anons suggesting you move somewhere and to forget your ex. Easier said than done, I'm sure, but if you want things in your life to change, you need to start changing things in your life

As far as foods go.. I know you want to make sonething but be sure to treat yourself to one of those fancy-ass restaurants where they draw on the table with your food and serve 18 courses of tablespoon sized servings and the check is a minimum of $550 with a mandatory 25% gratuity added. Then maybe seek out foreign delicacies. To make, I nominate braciole with fresh pasta. If it's made right, each forkful just melts onto your tongue

But I sincerely hope you can find happiness in this beautiful opportunity you've been given to experience existence and that you're able to make what you want of it. know that there's an anon out there somewhere who's praying for you

[Anonymous No.5730104]

>>5729806
Eat a bullet or a drink a tall glass of man the fuck up. You're among the highest echelon of the worlds population and you're bitching about someone leaving you. Grow up you little bitch.

That being said, what part of the country do you live in? What have you had and what are your overall preferences?

[Anonymous No.5730127]

>>5729806
OP, might I recommend, instead of an hero, a solid zero fucks lifestyle?

I've got a great job, nice car, fancy apartment, I'm in great shape, chicks think I'm hot, I'm socially infectious...but I still can't help but think it's all futile anyway. I'm 35, not doing exactly what I figured I would be. It gets the job done but it ain't exactly satisfying...

...my point?

When I was 17 or 18 or so I decided that zero fucks was the most I was willing to give...I threw my credit in the fucking dustbin, intentionally...it was a huge joke to me...disregarded pretty much every single fucking responsibility I came across...fuck the world....never thought I'd live to 30.

Well, I did...I've since cleaned up my credit cuz I want nice things....but aside from that the attitude remains the same...and throughout all of that zero-fuck-giving I realized that life can be fun as a motherfucker. Learning to give zero fucks is the key.

Your mom? Fuck her. Your ex? Fuck her. Your debt? That's a fucking joke, bro. Fuck every last fucking bit of it. Hang on tight, cuz if you embrace what I am preaching you are in for the time of your fucking life. Sure, I'm pulling in good money now...but there was a point where I was living out of an unregistered 91 Chevy Cavalier...and ya know what? I gave no fucks about that then either.

trust me on this.

[Anonymous No.5730140]

>>5730127
PS: If you genuinely give zero fucks the broads will fucking love you. You don't have to treat them like shit...treat them as dignified as you wish...but a guy that has no fucking concern for the bullshit of the world is, apparently, sexy as fuck to women.

Have some FU pussy for that cunty ex of yours, and maybe a little extra for that cunt of a mother.

FTW FTW. You really have to trust me on this.

[Anonymous No.5730141]

>>5730127
To add on to what this guy is saying, you know whats worse than a 91 Chevy Cavalier? Death. Its just eternal darkness, and thats no fun.

[Anonymous No.5730143]

>>5730140
If you die, as far as I believe, THERE IS NOTHING.

Why not milk the most fucking partying out of this singular existence possible? Seriously, don't waste this. Max out the credit card of life however you see fit.

[Anonymous No.5730150]

Hey OP, maybe you'll read this tomorrow when you wake up. I'm not really saying to not do it, it's your choice in the end but if I were in your position I'd do something else beforehand.

See 4 years ago I was in the depths of my depression. I was on my way to the forest/park about 4 blocks from my house in the middle of the night with a cable planning on not returning. Anyways, shit happened along the way in my fucked up mind and I ended up coming back. In the time since then I set myself a lot of goals and every day I live towards accomplishing those goals. I was hoping to save up $50k in 3 years and I managed to save up $80k. Now my next goal is to spend the next decade of my life traveling and living around the world trying to find a place I will want to spend the rest of my life in. My goals tie in with /ck/ too as I'm running a food blog that's just starting to get some recognition (you know, as in people beyond my family started looking at my photos), and I'm hoping to become the Bourdain of the internet world. Is that an attainable goal? I don't know but I will do my best starting in a month when I leave this place.

You should do the same after you finish your studies. Create a website where people post what they would love to eat as their final meal and travel the world to eat the dishes they would want as their last bit of pleasure on earth.

[Anonymous No.5730153]

You can apply for government sponsored programs that limit your student loan payments to 10% of your monthly income. Its not like they're literally going to take everything from you like in the movies, not over student loans. Even with a shit degree like yours you can find a few types of diverse jobs.

[Anonymous No.5730175]

Kill and eat a person. Most people never get that chance.

[Anonymous No.5730260]

>>5730175
...hmph....that's actually not an unreasonable POV.

[syn !!5auGoPfbzhy No.5730395]

>>5729806
You know, of you just need to stop worrying about what other people think of you. Tell them all to fuck off and enjoy yourself.

[Anonymous No.5730488]

>>5729806
Oh my god stop acting like such a worthless pussy and put your grown man pants on. Your ex girlfriend and your parents sound like cunts get the fuck over it. You're too much of a little puss puss to actually kill yourself, I've known people that killed themselves and news flash: they don't attention whore and ask for a pity party, they fucking kill themselves. You done goofed in a lot of ways, life goes on bitch nigga, you can be a park ranger with your degree and maybe it will help you grow a set of balls and appear desirable to women. Get a hobby with your pathetic ass, cycling or something useful. You are one of the reason your whole generation are a bunch of gullible sad little faggots, grow the fuck up.

[Anonymous No.5730832]

>>5729956
OP, teaching English in Taiwan is your destiny.

Seriously, come on over to the Renegade Province. We have durian. And I don't think your creditors will be able to reach you here, although you should probably check into that with some of the other Engrish teachers over here, many of whom are fleeing massive student loan debt.

[Anonymous No.5730837]

>>5730260

It's actually a bad idea. Most humans aren't fit for human consumption. We eat make believe garbage all the time, dude.

[Anonymous No.5730839]

>>5729806
Grow up some years, and you'll see what a pussy you've been today.
A few years ago i told myself i'd consider suicide when i reach 30 and still be alone. Now i'm 30 and still alone (lol), but not considering suicide because i have much more to do and learn now.

planning suicide a few month ahead
> implying OP isn't saying that to bring attention
> implying OP won't be a pussy on his suicide day

[Anonymous No.5730843]

>>5729806
I don't know if anyone already proposed it, but if you are going to waste why won't you eat yourself? Like leg or an arm. Just get a shitton of anesthetics and start sawing. When you are done with eating, kill yourself before the pain sensors start working.

and make a vidya of the whole process

[Anonymous No.5730857]

OP Don't do it! Life sucks. It might get worse but eventually things work out. I hope you reconsider you current thoughts. OP, I recommend that you have a bowl of chicken soup tomorrow. Relax, breathe, and think about the good things in life. Remember you only get to live once. Find a way to own it and enjoy it.

[Anonymous No.5730864]

maybe life isn't shit but being dead is infinitely better. all the stuff that make you feel bad don't bother you anymore. all the stuff you need to do to keep you happy are no longer necessary.

>implying you won't pussy out like me

[Anonymous No.5730865]

>>5729806
Endure.

[Anonymous No.5730876]

OP, I hope you find some light in your darkness before you commit to killing yourself.

If you kill yourself, you never get to see yourself get better.

[Borneo No.5730883]

not gonna tell you not to kill yourself but you should at least try and see the world and eat its myriad offerings before you do, there's lots of foods that are unique to an area

try donut peaches, durian, rambutan, lychee, mangosteen, jackfruit

sarawak laksa, chicken rice, chinese style roast meats are all delicious as well, anon who recommended beef rendang knows what's up but you may not be able to get some of the fresh spices needed

>>5730150
you can't say that and not link us your blog m8

anyway you should visit malaysia sometime, everything is cheap, the exchange rate is heavily in your favour and has the most delicious cuisine in the world

[Anonymous No.5730913]

Fuck your shitty relationships, live a bit more, eat good food.

[Anonymous No.5730961]

>>5729806
Why put off for tomorrow what you coulddo today? Dream big, OP. It's the last one you'll get.

[Anonymous No.5730972]

>>5729806
Why don't you travel save money up and travel the world cooking and eating food. Fuck everything. Ask to work as a cook in a shop in the middle of Japan or fucking Ireland. Do something out of control! AND KEEP ON COOKING

[Anonymous No.5730976]

>>5730865
this

[Anonymous No.5730997]

>>5729806
>i stole
>picture of obama
Liberals confirmed for criminal scum

[Anonymous No.5731017]

>>5729875


you definitely don't need a PhD for community college

[Anonymous No.5731048]

>>5730997
>see a picture of a black man
>assume the poster is a thief

NRAIDF plz go

[Anonymous No.5731053]

killing yourself because of a girl is pussy shit.

you won't be missed. least of all by your ex. fag.

[Anonymous No.5731061]

>>5731048
wut?

[Anonymous No.5731085]

>>5729806
I had almost the same exact shit happen to me when i was in grad school. Gf left me in my final year and moved to another state. We had a plan for our lives and were engaged at the time. I thought about killing myself but wanted to at least finish my degree, which i did. After that one thing came up after another and i eventually moved on. Ended up seeing a shrink for chronic depression a few years later...i had been fucked up for most of my life. Turns out i'm bipolar and got meds and therapy and still struggle with it.

tl;dr my advice is to at least finish your degree.

[Anonymous No.5731148]

Eh, before I'd kill myself over a botched thesis/relationship I'd probably just drop out and get some low paying manual job somewhere far far away.