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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 720 KB, 1150x628, goldencorral_01.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5696800 No.5696800[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

Turns out it's my birthday today. My grandmother called me and asked if I wanted to go out to Golden Corral. It's a southern buffet apparently, kind of like an all you can eat.

What am I in for, guys? I trust you to tell me what I should avoid or what might be worth the price of a plate.

>> No.5696819

Be prepared for mediocre quality buffet food.

>> No.5696822

http://www.ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/golden-corral.txt

Just read it.

>> No.5696826

>>5696800
>Golden Corral
Not for all the beer in Milwaukee

>> No.5696827
File: 42 KB, 500x333, 1372150694806.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5696827

>>5696800
They're advertising lobster tails for $4.99 (there is a glut of these thing).
Make Grammy buy you four at least.

>> No.5696829

>>5696800
See that chocolate wonderfall in that ad? That'll be you the next day.

>> No.5696830

>you will never drink from the 8th wonder of the world

>> No.5696854

>>5696800
I live in the south, and they are all over the place. As far as buffets go, they are great if you like super processed food. You can pack an easy 6-7000 kcal per visit. So, awesome for fatasses and bodybuilders/powerlifters, terrible for the rest of us.

>> No.5696883

>>5696800

Mediocre-to-terrible buffet food to be followed with violent diarrhea. They do have a salad buffet at ours that passes muster so I am usually able to find enough to have a passable meal but it's never something I'd look forward to and at least the first time you'll probably be tricked into eating some of their masterpieces and will have violent diarrhea the next day.

I've been to waaaay way worse buffets. But it is nowhere where you'd ever want to go for your own enjoyment but to please old folks. I guess it reminds them of the good old days before sanitation was a thing.

>> No.5696889

It's better than most buffets despite what pretentious /ck/ has to say. Get a steak while you're there.

It's good food.

Ever been to a Western Sizzlin? It's kinda like that but more grandiose.

Just treat it like every other buffet dude.

>> No.5696894

>take item
>stab with fork
>insert under chocolate fountain
>hope you have the eyesight to spot the pubes and the dexterity to avoid them
>place chocolate coated item on plate, slide off fork

>> No.5696925

>>5696894
It recycles the same chocolate? That's pretty nasty.

>> No.5696929

>>5696925
Where else would it go? Dumped outside until it evaporates up into a chocolate rain cloud to be precipitated somewhere else?

>> No.5696931

>>5696800
that place is scary

>> No.5696934

>>5696929
What if something unsavory falls in there?

>> No.5696936

>>5696934
I'm sure people who go there are careful and sanitary, like in a public pool.

>> No.5696939

>>5696929
Yeah. The south doesn't have chocolate trrain?

>> No.5696943
File: 46 KB, 355x236, golden corral.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5696943

wats goin on in dis thred

>> No.5696944
File: 305 KB, 625x469, enhanced-buzz-6894-1385592093-26.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5696944

>>5696822
>DPS

Golden.

>> No.5696967

>>5696822
This was worth the read.

>> No.5697010

>>5696800

Hey fggt it's my cake day too...happy b-day bizarro me.

Now for this whole GC bullshit. GET OFF IT. That place is the worst pseudo sizzler, trough dining establishment....EVER. Don't you dare waste our god damn birthday on this fucking slop. If all you want to do on our special day is watch fat kids with snotty hands get their filthy germs and body fluids all over the stale poorly maintained warming trays of inedible food while fight fatties in mobility scooters to the chocolate fountain; then fuck you.

>> No.5697011

>>5696800
Poor OP, he didn't know how blessed he was to be ignorant of Golden Corral. Now his innocence will be shattered....

>> No.5697026

>>5696800
>turns out it's my birthday today

What? Were you unaware of this fact until just now? Did your grandmother just let the family secret out?

"Anon, you were born....and you were born on this day!"

>> No.5697034

>>5696800
It's pretty much like eating anything you want from the freezer section at Wal-Mart

>> No.5697060

>>5697010
I kind of have to go now, called and asked if they had a reservation or anything. It was embarrassing but I'm going through with it, especially after this thread and that .txt story

>>5697026
It's never been a big deal actually. Last time I did something for it was when I turned 21 and my aunt asked if I was doing anything. I asked what for, she said I was legal to drink (of course I'd been drinking for years already) as of today and wanted to get me my first cocktail.

>> No.5697080

>>5696822
>WHAT ABOUT YOUR DPS?

lost it

>> No.5697083

Get some friends dude

>> No.5697097

>>5697060

>GC
>reservations

OH god my side.

OI fggt, stop fucking up our damn birthday. srs'ly I'll drive us into a GD brick wall if we keep thinking about going to the GC. Maybe today would be a good day to just spend some quite alone time reflecting on why we don't even have a GF, instead,.

>> No.5697100
File: 420 KB, 500x500, 1358677334778.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5697100

>>5696822
>That DPS

If I wasn't at work, I would have lost it.

>> No.5697188

>>5696800
>Turns out it's my birthday today

Mine, too.

I ate a simple salad for lunch.

Happy Birthday.

>> No.5697199

>>5697188

STFU, other birthday sharing fggt. why in the hell are you eating like a fucking female bird on this glorious day?

>> No.5697263

>>5697188
Happy birthday, son.

>> No.5697665

They had 5oz Sirloin steaks cooked to order so I had two of those. It was great. I went for a bowl of soft serve ice cream, and couldn't find the bowls, so I got a cone instead. One said chocolate, one said vanilla, and I assumed the middle one was swirl. Tried to use the middle handle and it spat water into my cone.

6/10 would not go again, too many people and the old lady servers are always in the way. I also take off a point for this person who was there, a black person. You couldn't tell if it was a man or woman and that's just awful.

>> No.5697669

Don't. Go fucking anywhere else.

Tell your grandma to stop being cheap and take you somewhere good

>> No.5697675

>>5696826

If you had drank all the beer prior to going, you would be in heavean.

>> No.5697716

>>5696822
That was great and makes me want to go to Golden Corral. GC should use this as advertising material

>> No.5697723
File: 70 KB, 530x530, 1396923888128.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5697723

>>5696800
Last time I was in Houston my mother wanted to go there. From our table I watch a fat fuck eat pizza as he walked along the buffet shoveling food onto his plate.

>> No.5697725

Maybe one of you guys can help. My birthday is in 3 days and I'm going on a date with my Auntie. I want to like, order wine and not look like a fool at it, we're going to some italian place. Is there something I can order that any place will have so it looks like I'm not a noob virgin?

>> No.5697737
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5697737

Happy birthday Birthday-anons

>> No.5697740

>>5697737
Happy birthday, owl

>> No.5697744

>>5697725
Order eggplant parmigiana and a red wine to go with it. Maybe a Shiraz.

>> No.5697753

>>5697725
Just remember this general rule (and I do mean "in general", because there are exceptions)
White wine - fish and seafood, or light vegetable dishes
Red wine - meats, tomato based dishes, heavy pastas or heavy veg dishes

Also, at an Italian place, look for a Barolo. Those are generally great red wines, which will go with pretty much any meat or heavy pasta dish.

>> No.5697760
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5697760

Golden Corral was better in the 90s IMO

pros: their salad bar is great, rolls are bretty gud, they serve pepsi, the mashed potatoes and stuffing with gravy are gud, you don't really feel bad for not tipping there

cons: everything else. 95% of the food is bland slop, the place is too busy and dirty, the feeling of being a piece of livestock herding around feed troughs with 350 tuboflards, the bathrooms are ALWAYS disgusting, its expensive for the quality, and worst of all

I get the bubbleguts in the middle of eating every. single. time. This combined with the rage and selfloathing for eating at this outhouse will notify you of your mistake.

protip: rumor is that they add a large amount of vegetable oil to the chocolate fountain to make it flow smoothly

>> No.5697764
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5697764

>>5696934
I saw a kid throw a whole steak into the base of the WonderFall™. I'm sure it went unnoticed the rest of the night. I've also seen kids stick their hand in the chocolate, lick their hand, stick it back in and repeat.

>> No.5697768

>>5697764

what an awesome kid

>> No.5697774
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5697774

>>5697764

mfw ive never thought of chocolate covered steak but now will walk to the edge of the universe to try it