[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

View post   
File: 87 KB, 992x558, chp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5672539 No.5672539 [Reply] [Original]

This is a Chipotle Education Thread. This is what you order:

>Burrito bowl with a tortilla on the side
>Brown rice
>No beans
>Steak OR Carnitas
>Hot salsa
>Corn
>Sour cream
>Cheese
>lettuce
>Chips

>While at register ask for a cup of the salad dressing and a water cup.

Here's the reasoning behind all of the above choices and why they are the best.

You get the bowl with the tortilla on the side because the tortilla is free. You always get more food packed into the bowl than you could ever get into a burrito. This way you get more food and you can even create your own burrito and learn how to roll. I myself am a master burrito roller at this point.

Brown rice for proper digestion of the massive amount of calories. Plus it tastes good.

No beans because they're useless and taste like shit.

Steak or Carnitas are Patrician-tier meats. Chicken is for faggots and it is always burnt. The shredded beef tastes exactly like Taco Bell meat so there's no point in ordering it. Sofritas are shit-tier as well.

Hot salsa because you don't wanna be a pussy.

Corn so you can see it in your shit when you poop out the meal.

Sour cream because it's delicious and will cool some of the burn from the hot salsa if you're a pussy.

Cheese because it's fucking amazing.

Lettuce because it's healthy and adds a little crunch and texture.

Chips because they can be used for snacking and dipping into the bowl.

Now, as for the salad dressing. It's fucking amazing. You can pour a little bit over your bowl/on your burrito as a sort of sauce and it's amazing. Tangy and perfect, it accents the meal perfectly and can even be used to dip chips if you choose to get those.

The water cup is free and you can just get soda with it if you want (has to be diet soda)


This concludes the best thing you can order at chipotle and the reasoning behind it. You can't deny that this is truly the greatest guide to food ever created.

>> No.5672544

This is now an OP Education Thread. Op is a faggot.

>> No.5672546

>>5672539
>No beans because they're useless and taste like shit.

this is where you fucked up.

also, no pico?

and yes corn?

disgusting.

>> No.5672547

Feel free to post your typical Chipotle orders and I can critique them and tell you why you're doing it wrong.

>> No.5672550

>>5672546

Nope. The beans are useless calories and don't help elevate the meal in any way. The texture is mush, the taste is meh. Not worth the extra calories and you're already getting protein from the meat.

The 'pico' as you call it is just some nasty soggy tomatoes with virtually no flavor. They're a waste of space in the bowl/burrito and add nothing. They actually make it worse.

Corn is amazing you're a faggot

>> No.5672555

>>5672550
your pleb is showing...

sage in all fields

>> No.5672557

>>5672555

Congratulations, you've admitted defeat and acknowledged me and my choices as the superior ones.

>> No.5672558

>>5672550
yet you pick corn?

>> No.5672562

>>5672558

The corn has a slightly sweet taste which helps round out the meal. You can't argue this.

>> No.5672568

>>5672547
>tell you why you're doing it wrong.
That's pretty easy. You're eating at Chipotle. You're automatically doing it wrong.

>> No.5672569
File: 54 KB, 550x379, disappoint4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5672569

>>5672539
OP has bad taste and should be punished for it

>> No.5672576

>>5672568

Chipotle was forged by the Gods.

>>5672569

More denial. One day you will reach enlightenment my child

>> No.5672580

>>5672576
>Chipotle was forged by the Gods.
Why can I, a mediocre cook, make better (and cheaper) food than them?

>> No.5672583

>>5672580

LOL prove it faggot.

also
>implying cooking is hard

>> No.5672585

>>5672583
Prove it how, exactly?

It's 9:30 AM - I'm not going to make a burrito.

>> No.5672592

>>5672585

So you're saying you can't prove it in any way and you refuse to cook.

you got me loling buddy gtfo hahahaha

>> No.5672595

>>5672539
>>5672550

Shit post somewhere else. The rice at shitpotle has no flavor and does nothing, the beans add a healthy protein and flavor.

>> No.5672596
File: 291 KB, 500x500, 1406713122426.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5672596

>beans are useless calories
>eats tortilla, sour cream, cheese, chips
>not getting all three salsas
>not paying a little more for delicious guac
>not realizing barbacoa is by far their best meat
It's pretty overweight peasant in here.

>> No.5672603

>>5672596

You have absolutely no taste my man or woman. That barbacoa is tacobell meat faggot

>> No.5672604

>>5672539
WRONG!

Here's what I order, and it'll get you more food than what you said, veggie-style at that.

>Double Wrapped Vegetarian Burrito
>Whatever rice you want, WITHOUT CILANTRO
>Black and Pinto Beans
>Fajitas
>Tomato Salsa
>Hottest Salsa
>Corn
>Sour Cream
>Cheese
>Lettuce
>Guacamole

Here's the reasoning behind all of the above choices and why they are the best.

You get it double wrapped because two toritillas are the only way that this monstrosity will be able to close fully. You need the extra support and if they offset the tortillas, that extra amount of tortilla will help it go the distance to complete closure.

You get the rice without cilantro because that shit tastes like soap, and then you tell them you want it plain, they are more than likely going to take a container they use for a bowl, and cover the bottom of it with plain rice. This is more than the serving of rice they would normally scoop into a burrito. This already makes the burrito larger than it would have been in the first step.

Both beans because they will give you one full serving of each, not a half serving of each, thus increasing size. Also protein to not be a pussy.

Fajitas because veggiefag and because this makes the burrito cheaper than the others with guac.

The tomato salsa because tomatoes are fucking good faggot.

The hottest salsa because you don't wanna be a pussy.

Corn so you can see it in your shit when you poop out the meal.

Sour cream because it's delicious and will cool some of the burn from the hot salsa if you're a pussy.

Cheese because it's fucking amazing.

Lettuce because it's healthy and adds a little crunch and texture.

>> No.5672605

>>5672539
all around horrible

>> No.5672607

>>5672604
(cont)

Guacamole because it makes the burrito even larger, it's good, it will calm some of the burning that your anus will suffer later, and it's fucking free with a veggie burrito.

Now stand the fuck back and watch the 16 year old Chipotle girl who got the shitty end of the stick by being at the end of the line suffer your wrath and struggle to tame this beast of a burrito into a mere two tortillas and some aluminum foil. You're going to need to take a nap in between the halves to finish this motherfucker.

>> No.5672610

>>5672604
>>5672607

>absolutely disgusting vegetarian brontosaur food

Chipotle threads on ck are guaranteed replies

>> No.5672616
File: 1.81 MB, 266x204, feastfitforaking.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5672616

>>5672576
if enlightenment means becoming a stupid butt pirate with bad taste then I'll pass

>> No.5672620

>>5672592
Wow, this is a legit troll. Im getting frustrated.

>> No.5672641

>>5672620

I'd be getting frustrated if I was a dumb piece of shit who can't even cook too

>> No.5672657

"My opinion is better than yours!", the thread

>> No.5672678

>>5672604
>no cilantro

get your inferior genes out of here, and take your worthless vegeritto with you.

>> No.5672680

>>5672576
>Chipotle was forged by the Gods.
Gods of capitalism, sure. That's why I bought stock in the company. I just wouldn't eat the trash they serve. Tried it once: bland oversized boring gringo burritos. Perfect for a tubby office drone's lunch, but not what I'd eat.

>> No.5672709

>>5672680

Nigga i be investin in miccy D's u no what im sayannn hahahahahahahah

>> No.5672751

>not just getting the quesaritto
Plebs.

>> No.5672760

>eating at shitpotle

This thread reeks of lowly peasantry.

>> No.5672762

>>5672751

The quesaritto is okay. The cheese overpowered everything and it's almost like eating straight cheese. It's an interesting experience but not recommended all the time.

It's also a dick move to order a quesaritto at a busy time because it takes forever to make and holds up the line. Very niggerish thing to do.

>> No.5672766

I has chipotle for the first time last week since they don't have it in my city.

Jesus Christ what a disappointment. I can't believe I waited in line for 15 minutes for such mediocre food.

Great viral marketing thread guys

>> No.5673409
File: 1.98 MB, 1536x1536, 1395532820053.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5673409

>mfw had chipotle earlier today and it was shit

that place is so inconsistent

>> No.5673455

>>5672539
>corn

oh god no.

>> No.5673506

>>5672595
the beans AND rice at Shitpotle are objectively shit
>beans always either too hard or too mushy
>rice always bland with a hint of urine flavor

Kind of a shame since they used to be pretty good, but there are a million burrito places no so who cares?

>> No.5673511

>>5673455

their corn salsa isn't bad, I usually get that and whatever the roasted tomato one is called

>> No.5673513

>wants mexican food
>goes to fucking chipotle

this is why you're a pleb
enjoy your shit meal

>> No.5673523

>>5672762
You know what's a niggerish thing to do? Work at Taco Bell. Now shut up and make my quesarito, nigger.

>> No.5674200

>>5672576
I got this far and realized OP is a troll.

>> No.5674305

Go to Chipotle and order this. You won't be disappointing.

>Burrito (Ask them to melt cheese onto it)
>Brown Rice
>Pinto Beans
>Double Steak
>Hot Salsa
>Sour Cream
>More Cheese
>Lettuce

Wrap it up with guac, chips and a water bottle. Fucking amazing.

>> No.5674330

>burrito bowl
>both rice
>both beans
>veggies or barbacoa
>tomato salsa
>cheese
>guac
>lots and lots of lettuce

>> No.5675453
File: 55 KB, 307x315, 1390638486282.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5675453

>>5672550
>protein and fiber are useless calories

>> No.5675484

ITT: fags who can't make a single decent order at Chipotle
>bowl
>double brown rice
>double black beans
>double veggies
>double chicken
>pico, hot salsa
>double corn
>sour cream
>cheese
>lettuce
with chips and extra hot salsa, topped off with a Dr Pepper

>> No.5675522

>>5672539
Corn on a burrito is a sin

>> No.5675548

>>5672539
Just so you know, if you don't get fajita veggies in your burrito/bowl, you're a tremendous faggot.