/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.5642008]

Thank you, Scotland.

[Anonymous No.5642023]

You cook Rabites up that way?

I would've thought Mushbooms would be way more nutritious...

[Anonymous No.5642032]

thank you based OP. Haggis is fucking god tier.

[Anonymous No.5642040]

>>5642008
Why is there a sliced elephant testicle OP?

[Anonymous No.5642047]

>>5642040
>doesn't know what a testicle looks like
>balls haven't dropped yet
>confirmed for underageb&

[Anonymous No.5642059]

>>5642047
You mean testicles aren't filled with delicious oatmeal? Aww, dang!

[Anonymous No.5642063]

[Anonymous No.5642092]

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great Chieftan o’ the Puddin-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang’s my arm

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
You pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o’need
While thro’ your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead

His knife see Rustic-labour dight,
An’ cut you up wi’ ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reeking, rich!

Then, horn for horn they stretch an’ strive,
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive
Bethankit hums

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi’ perfect sconner,
Looks down wi’ sneering, scornfu’ view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither’d rash
His spindle-shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro’ bluidy flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He’ll mak it whissle;
An’ legs, an’ arms an’ heads will sned,
Like taps o’ thrissle

Ye pow’rs wha mak mankind your care,
An’ dish them out their bill o’fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu’ pray’r,
Gie her a Haggis!

[Anonymous No.5642140]

Haggis was the first meal I had when I visited Edinburgh last year, it was fucking delicious.

[Anonymous No.5642151]

Anyone from Inverness?
You tried Cockburns' Haggis?
Its god tier

[Anonymous No.5642152]

Really, what's it comparable to?

[Anonymous No.5642191]

>>5642152
>what's it comparable to

not much. coarse porridge-like texture with a lamby, spicy flavour. i've never known anyone to not be pleasantly surprised by haggis.

[Anonymous No.5642217]

>>5642059
You should investigate this and report back.

[Anonymous No.5642497]

>>5642008

Meh, I'd rather have a good hog maw

[Anonymous No.5642657]

Is haggis coming to US or what?

[Anonymous No.5642675]

Thank you, Scotland

[Anonymous No.5642682]

Thank you, Scotland

[Anonymous No.5642705]

[Anonymous No.5642744]

>>5642682
Is there anywhere in America to find a platter like this?
Just being able to call out and get a slice of pizza, fries, gyro meat, hot wings and all this other greasy bull shit is very appealing to me.

[Anonymous No.5642777]

>>5642744
Usually something like that you get from like a Kebab shop in the UK from what I've seen.

Also is gyro meat you Americans call kebab meat?

Do you not have kebab takeways? There's nothing like a Donner Kebab and chips with some lager. Donner Kebab dripping with garlic sauce.mmmmmm

[Anonymous No.5642780]

Thank you, based Scotland

[Anonymous No.5642790]

>>5642777
Nope, no kabab shops or fish and chips shops either. It's a sparse existence

[Anonymous No.5642797]

>>5642780
>>5642780
>>5642780
THIS SHIT I WANT SO BAD.
>>5642777
Nope we have nothing like that, if they exist they'd probably be in very urban settings like NY opened by an immigrant I suppose.
I just assumed it was Gyro meat, I've never had a kebab.

[Anonymous No.5642804]

>>5642790
That sounds awful.

[Anonymous No.5642854]

We need more munchie boxes in this thread

[Anonymous No.5642856]

>>5642804
Well sure, but I can buy a pistol and a butcher's knife w/o being added to a UK terrorist watch list.

[Anonymous No.5642859]

>>5642854
That is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

[Anonymous No.5642864]

>>5642780
>>5642854
why the hell do munchie boxes always seem to include a pile of wilted iceberg lettuce along with the tasty delicious shit

[Anonymous No.5642867]

>>5642864
I assumed it was some sand ni/ck/er cole slaw.

[Anonymous No.5642869]

>>5642864
like the little shitey bag of lettuce curry places chuck in

[Anonymous No.5642873]

I think this is my last one. Sweet damn do I miss these. Fuck moving to London.

[Anonymous No.5642886]

>>5642864
It's usually some sort of lightly fried onion or lettuce/cabbage combo. Often lightly coated with tzatziki or mayo or something white but usually left plain and slightly wet. I don't usually eat it unless I am super hungry and need a palette cleanser.

[Anonymous No.5642891]

>>5642744
It's probably a far shot, but try your local pizza places. In Wisconsin, there's a chain called Pizza Pit that has stuff like >>5642780. A nice, greasy gyro that's stuffed to the point where the meat that's fallen out is practically a second meal on top of a nice big bed of curly fries. Probably not as good as the stuff ITT, but shit's still cash as fuck.

[Anonymous No.5642935]

>>5642891
I live in Norfolk, VA and you'd think there'd be a lot of places.. and a lot of pizza places open up, but they're all "NEW YORK STYLE PIZZERIA"

[Anonymous No.5642949]

Sheep's bladder is illegal in the US and A so they literally use fucking condoms.
So fucking growse.

[Anonymous No.5643158]

So America has Indian and Chinese takeaways?

Do you have like locals you go to? Well known places, some which are only takeaways and some restaurants.

[Anonymous No.5643168]

thank you based motherland

[Anonymous No.5643179]

>>5643158
>So America has Indian and Chinese takeaways?

Yes. and just about any other nationality you could name as well. We have Thai, Greek, Mexican, etc.

>>Do you have like locals you go to

Sure. Though at least in my experience there are relatively few dedicated "take-away-only" places. Usually you'll have a restaurant which offers dine-in and take-away. Some offer delivery too.

[Anonymous No.5643247]

>>5642949
Does anyone have that picture of the american condom haggis ?

[Anonymous No.5643308]

>>5642949
>so fucking grouse

[Anonymous No.5643432]

>>5642008
You're welcome, Robert.

[Anonymous No.5643439]

>>5642949

no they don't.

[Anonymous No.5643574]

>>5643439
Dude there have been threads on them for literally years.

[Anonymous No.5643583]

>>5643574
troll threads

[Anonymous No.5643588]

>>5643583
I have seen pics. No one would go that far to troll /ck/.

[Anonymous No.5643594]

>>5643588
yes you have seen joke pictures ive seen them too.

[Anonymous No.5643637]

>>5643594
I am not talking about this one.

[Anonymous No.5643644]

>>5643637
i know

[Anonymous No.5645134]

>>5643574

there may be like a scattering of hicks who make haggis in condoms but no one is forced to do that as there are plenty of alternatives. also most of the haggis you get in the uk is not made with a natural casing anyway.

[Anonymous No.5645156]

Im in the UK and whenever I have food from pizza places like itt the next day consists of painfully awful stomach cramps and shit that burns with the intensity of seven suns.

Haggis on the other hand is fucking godly. Wonderful flavour every time.

[Anonymous No.5645164]

>>5642949
>they literally use fucking condoms
While some condoms are made from sheep skin, not all sheep skin products are condoms.

[Anonymous No.5645180]

>>5645164
The pictures speak for themselves and they are not a joke.

[Anonymous No.5645181]

>>5645180
It's essentially sausage, you squeamish little faggot.

[Anonymous No.5645751]

>>5642151
Yes and no. I rarely have haggis in general but I do like it when I do have it.

[Anonymous No.5645771]

Does no one have the condom haggis photo?

[Anonymous No.5645804]

Is haggis anything like boudin? Has anybody had both?

[Anonymous No.5646952]

>>5645771

[Anonymous No.5646959]

>>5646952
Ohhhh God

[Anonymous No.5646994]

>>5645804
They are nothing alike.
Haggis is a savoury pudding containing sheep's pluck (heart, liver and lungs); minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally encased in the animal's stomach. It is total and absolute shit.

Boudin is a number of different sausages throughout Europe and America. This stuff is actually edible.

[Anonymous No.5647011]

>>5646952
I am pretty sure those are condoms filled with shit.
Halfway sure i saw this on /b once upon a time...

[Anonymous No.5647026]

>>5647011
Shit, haggis, theres not much difference.

[Anonymous No.5647034]

>>5647011
That is crazy.
This is just poorly made haggis.
This is why Americans are not into it.

[Anonymous No.5647048]

>>5647011
>>5647026

No, 4 serious, 2 on the bottom row are jimmy tied shut, like the nfl players do so they can take their seed with them when they leave a hoe. (No after-the-fact seed stealing baby mommas)

And another one on that row has a reservoir tip!

[Anonymous No.5647061]

>>5643637
>hagglets

[Anonymous No.5647091]

>>5647048
Yes. They are condoms.
Did you even read the whole thread?

[Anonymous No.5647134]

>>5647091
Yes i read the whole thread.

That is shit in condoms.

People do this.

You learn something everyday.

[Anonymous No.5647208]

>>5647134
No its haggis in condoms.
That is what Scottish Americans do because sheeps innards are illegal.

[Anonymous No.5647210]

>>5647208
Are you sure?

Because it looks like shite m8.

[Anonymous No.5647213]

>>5647208
They could use the innards of all the other animals that are legal but instead they chose to use jimmy hats.

>makesperfectsense/10

[Anonymous No.5647219]

>>5647208
No, its not

[Anonymous No.5647290]

>>5647213
This may sound crazy, but in america , we don't eat a lot of lungs and bladders and shit so they are hard to find here and offer illegal.

What we do do is a lot of fucking.
So consequently condoms are pretty easy to find.

[Anonymous No.5647298]

>>5647290
this is not true at all, lots of offal, intestine, etc are widely available and they are hardly illegal

[Anonymous No.5647324]

>>5647298
I agree. You know.. we have this stuff in america.. comes in casings... uh... i think it's called sausages and salami.

how is it the italians can get their shit together to make proper italian sausages, sopressate, salami... but the scottish resort to condoms?

fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.5648208]

Thank you, Scotland.

[Anonymous No.5648218]

Thank you Scotland

[Anonymous No.5648226]

Thank you, Alba

[Anonymous No.5648227]

>>5647324
Sausage casing is intestine.
Not big enough for haggis which uses bladder.
Run down to Kroger anon and see how comprehensive the sheep's bladder section is.

Idiot.

[Anonymous No.5648233]

[Anonymous No.5648238]

There's been a murrdurr!

[Anonymous No.5648245]

[Anonymous No.5648253]

>>5648233
>>5648238
>mfw this is what yuropoors actually eat
>mfw i have no face

[Anonymous No.5648268]

>>5642873
You won't find them in London. Some places might sell them but they won't be advertised on the menu - it's pretty much a Scottish thing.

[Anonymous No.5648299]

>>5648227
>implying condoms are better than using intestines, simpky because you cant find stomach.

Wow.

[Anonymous No.5648341]

[Anonymous No.5648361]

>>5648299
The condom at least stretches to the proper size anon.
Quit being so squeamish .
They are perfectly sterile.

[Anonymous No.5648369]

>>5646994
cajun boudin sounds just like that except they use pork instead of sheep, and rice instead of oatmeal. It's made like a sausage, yes, but traditionally it was packed into the pig intestine. seems very similar to me.

[Anonymous No.5648556]

>>5648341
Whoa! Deep fried haggis? Fuck yeaggis!

[Anonymous No.5648658]

>>5648268
I think that was his point. I got the impression he was moving from Scotland to London.

[Anonymous No.5648719]

>>5646952

[Anonymous No.5648722]

>>5642008

[Anonymous No.5648832]

[Anonymous No.5649029]

Condoms aren't even edible, anyone who genuinely thinks you can use them as a substitute is a fucking moron.

[Anonymous No.5649038]

[Anonymous No.5649084]

>>5647034
It's shit mate. There is a whole set of hose pics, on some of them this guy is covered in his own feces.

[Anonymous No.5649156]

>>5642152
it's an oaty, spiced big-ass sausage.

It's about what you'd expect. Rich and delicious, but terribly unhealthy.

[Anonymous No.5649167]

>>5642008
American junkfood>scottish junkfood

[Anonymous No.5649169]

>>5642657
Been available for awhile.
http://www.scottishgourmetusa.com/product/Hamilton-highland-haggis-in-USA/haggis-for-sale-usa

It's not in a sheep's stomach, but a sausage casing is good enough.

[Anonymous No.5649206]

Thank you, Scotland.

[Anonymous No.5649228]

>>5642040
i'm dying hahahahaha

[Anonymous No.5650303]

>>5649029
You don't eat the condom you idiot. Most people dont even eat the sheep bladder on the real ones.

[Anonymous No.5650345]

>>5650303
is this true? i thought you ate it like a sausage casing.

[Anonymous No.5650351]

>>5650345
you dont eat the casing on all sausages either

[Anonymous No.5650360]

>>5650351
>>5650345
sometimes, you don't even know how much you don't know. i will read about this now. can you give me keywords to make it easier?

[Anonymous No.5650519]

boudin from new orleans is better

[Anonymous No.5650526]

>>5650519
>boudin from New Orleans
>not France
get fucked

[Anonymous No.5652709]

>>5649167
based san diego


dat california burrito MGHMGMHMGMHMM1

[Anonymous No.5654723]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scottish_inventions_and_discoveries

Thank you based Scoti. For a nation of 6 million, that is pretty impressive.

Haggis and penicillin are both pretty good. Though it is dubious if haggis is actually Scottish.

[Anonymous No.5654746]

>>5650526
If the french could do anything right, they'd still own new orleans.

[Anonymous No.5654765]

>>5646952
That isn't haggis. I have some bad news for you.

[Anonymous No.5654774]

>>5647208
Lol bro it isn't haggis, it's shit. This dude even freezes his shit and eats it like a popsicle.

[Anonymous No.5655296]

>>5654765
what is the news? come on youre killing me here

[Anonymous No.5656245]

>>5642497
Are you implying you would eat the snout and hooves

[Anonymous No.5656342]

>>5642854
probably the best of the bunch
enough feed a man for a day though

[Anonymous No.5656432]

>>5642744
you need the Irn Bru too m80

[Anonymous No.5656476]

>>5649167
Is there American food that isn't junkfood? For real, I can't think of anything.

[Anonymous No.5656477]

>>5654774
Quit talking rubbish.

[Anonymous No.5656654]

>>5656245
...Pig trotters are pretty common. I'm not the guy you were talking to.
Really, the only part I wouldn't eat is probably the butthole.

[Anonymous No.5656658]

>>5642777
What's doner kebab meat? Just normal chunks of meat skewered and grilled? Or those horrible artificial meat-and-flour abominations (pictured)?

[Anonymous No.5656670]

>>5656658
In Europe it's a mix of mincemeat and meat slices as well as fat. That stuff in your Picture would be called Leberkäse in Germany. Doesnt belong in a Kebab.

[Anonymous No.5656718]

>>5656658
What the fuck is that monstrosity and why do I want to bite directly into it?

[Anonymous No.5656755]

>>5656718
ITT amerifags that have never heard of kebab

[Anonymous No.5656799]

>>5648832
HOLY SHIT IS THAT A BATTERED BLACK PUDDING

Jesus christ on a bike these things are soo fucking good I can remember the first time I had one after asking the shop owner a couple of times a week and it did not disappoint. Plenty of vinegar on mine, ta m8.

[Anonymous No.5656805]

>>5656658
It's made of mainly lamb and various other meats. All halal meats of course. It's better to get it when the last bits of meat are on the skewer, soaks up all delicious juices from a full friday night of donners. Of course you must also have chilli sauce with it and kill those who desecrate something so nice with garlic mayo.

[Anonymous No.5656809]

>>5642777
>Also is gyro meat you Americans call kebab meat?
Gyros is the Greek version of kebab (which I believe is Turkish).

[Anonymous No.5656813]

>>5656755
nah, just one sheltered cunt