Kitchen Disasters

[Anonymous No.5623041]

Oh god. Oh holy fuck. I am so fucking angry right now. SO FUCKING ANGRY. So angry, I had to excuse myself and not eat dinner.
I was making an assortment of mexican food tonight. Al pastor, grilled chicken, guacamole, grilled onions and cactus....and my pride and joy, salsa verde. I spent more time on the salsa verde than anything else (not counting the marination of the meat, of course). I finished it up, put it in a jar, and put it in the fridge. Then, as I was making the sides, I went in to get the cheese and the fucking jar seemingly hopped off the shelf and fell to the floor. It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I tried to stop it, but I missed.....the entire jar broke and spilled everywhere...my precious...my precious....I'm so fucking pissed. The flying glass shards cut my foot and my finger as I tried to save it. AAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH
Pic related but not mine, obviously. I should have taken a pic, but it was too painful.

[Anonymous No.5623057]

>>5623041

[Anonymous No.5623068]

>>5623041
Minus the fat, bald headed-ness, yeah.
That's pretty much how I felt.

[Anonymous No.5623087]

>>5623041
Why is your salsa verde red not green?

[Anonymous No.5623100]

This type of shit always happens to me. I try to be very careful in the kitchen and not rush now.

[Anonymous No.5623181]

>>5623057
I felt so bad for Kevin in that scene.

[Anonymous No.5623190]

>>5623087
>Pic related but not mine, obviously

[Anonymous No.5623207]

>Spend hours making perfect stock
>Finally done
>Lift it
>Handle from pot breaks off spilling it everywhere

The feel...it...it was beyond tears.

[OP No.5623229]

>>5623207
I know that feel, bro. When you can't even be normally upset. It's so beyond it, you just go dead and cold inside. I just now came out and made myself a little chalupa and a small burrito, because I knew I needed to eat something, but there was no joy in it. No joy at all.

[syn No.5623244]

>>5623041
Sorry, bro.

>mom visiting, Shepard's pie her fave dish
>get expensive ground lamb. Make beautiful pie
>put under broiler to get nice crispy golden taters
>go to pull it out
>non broiler proof handle breaks off
>pie land upside down on oven door
>drop an f bomb in front of mom for first time eve

My mother and aunt scraped what they could off the for and ate it, said it tasted good.

[Anonymous No.5623254]

>people litterally crying and getting emotional over "spilled milk"

you are all citizens of the USA, i can tell easily from your lack of self control

[OP No.5623261]

>>5623244
Oh god, that's terrible. That sucks, dem feels......

[Anonymous No.5623263]

>>5623244
>>drop an f bomb in front of mom for first time eve

[OP No.5623264]

>>5623254
>lack of self control

Really? Fuck off.

[Anonymous No.5623267]

>>5623254
I'm English actually.

[Anonymous No.5623274]

>>5623254

[Leonidas No.5623348]

Back in 1999, I was down in the kitchen by myself getting something from the fridge. I was pulling out when I wanted, but I accidentally knocked over the whole dish of casserole onto the kitchen floor that my mother made that night. Thank fuck I was down there by myself or else I really would've gotten dealt with. I was panicking trying to clean it all up, i.e., slopping it all back into the dish as if no one would notice, when suddenly I heard my stepfather making his way downstairs.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit! I thought I was about to get caught for sure! But before he could make it into the kitchen, I was able to put the foil back onto the dish and put it back into the fridge swiftly. Thank freakin goodness. He ended up asking me if mother made any dinner that night, and I said yeah. He went and looked in the fridge and grabbed the casserole. He made a comment about how sloppy it looked. But then said, "eh, that's your mother. She's been slopping any ole thing together for dinner lately". My family ended up eating the leftovers that fell onto the fucking floor that week. To this day, nobody knew about what had occurred. My f*cking face when I think about what would've happened to me if someone found out I dropped the entire dinner onto the kitchen floor.

[Anonymous No.5623359]

>>5623254

that is some 240p quality bait right there

[Anonymous No.5623367]

>>5623264
Suck a fucking dick. If the worst thing going on in your world is "I dropped my salsa on the floor" then I envy you, because you are the fucking EPITOME of privilege.

[Anonymous No.5623371]

>make pot roast
>hour later, "hey Wife it needs more liquid"
>"no Husband it doesn't. It's not even hot yet"
>Husband adds liquid behind my back
>hours later crock pot quietly starts to overflow
>Husband is no longer allowed near the crock pot

[Anonymous No.5623373]

>>5623367
0/10

[Anonymous No.5623379]

>>5623373
Not even fucking b8, It's a fucking struggle to keep a roof over my head, I WISH I could still live with my parents and only have to worry about "oh no MY SALSA"
How fucking conceited can you be?

[Ribbons !36LF.2XSZI No.5623384]

>>5623379
just stop

[Anonymous No.5623390]

>>5623379
First of all, you little faggot, I'm a grown ass man, making a grown ass salary, and have the privilege that goes along with that. Boo fucking hoo, you're having a hard time, WAH. I've been there, done that. I've already paid my dues in life, so I should be able to enjoy myself. And yeah, breaking a jar of salsa that I spent a long time making did ruin my night, if you have a problem with that, it's your issue, not mine. you self absorbed little bitch.

[syn No.5623416]

>>5623367
Oh, but there are much worse things going on. These are just the ones we are able to talk about, share, laugh about.

[Anonymous No.5623580]

>>5623367
>>5623379
First off, nowhere is it mentioned that this is anyone's biggest problem. You just decided to assume that in order to throw your little bitch fit, because you're a little bitch. Also, if I had trouble keeping a roof over my head and I spilled a big pot of food that I made, I would flip my shit way harder than if money wasn't an issue. If anyone should undersand OP's problem, it's you.

[Anonymous No.5623584]

>>5623379
>It's a fucking struggle to keep a roof over my head
then maybe you should focus less on getting an internet connection and more on that roof

[Anonymous No.5623591]

>>5623390
>"lmao got mine, fuck you"
Keep digging yourself deeper.

[Anonymous No.5623594]

>>5623390
>I've already paid my dues in life, so I should be able to enjoy mysel

AH the classic mantra of the narcissist

[Anonymous No.5623602]

>>5623041
Seriously though, you clearly do not know what salsa verde is, so it probably wasn't worth fretting about.

[Anonymous No.5623650]

I know this feel

>making beef stew
>motherfucker has taken hours to prepare and cook
>invite the gf over so she can bask in the glory of the stew
>stew is finished
>grab a dishtowel because oven gloves are for pussies
>pot finds a chink in my clothe armour
>burn
>drop stew
>stew goes everywhere
>try not to cry as the gf cleans it up with me

We ordered a takeaway but I wasn't hungry anymore

[Anonymous No.5623672]

>mom's making spaghetti
>spills sauce everywhere and starts to clean it up
>dad walks in "wait I need to take a picture first!'
>laugh at it years later
Put it on display during his funeral.

You should have taken a pic OP.

[Anonymous No.5623831]

> boil potatoes
> burn hands peeling potatoes
> oh boy this is going to be good
> rice potatoes
> lovingly form dumplings
> drop two handfuls of dumplings in gently simmering water
> dumplings instantly dissolve in water
> didn't add enough flour...

[Anonymous No.5623914]

>>5623672
Your dad had a good sense of humor. I'm sorry for your loss, anon.

[Anonymous No.5623955]

Not really bad at all but worst thing recently was too much baking powder in my cookies made them spread out into one giant cookie in the pan so we had chocolate chip cookie cake that night.

[Anonymous No.5623961]

>>5623041
>making vegetable soup last night
>everything is sweated down, wine applied, alcohol cooked off
>nice base, time to add the stock
>into the pan it goes
>floater
>floater
>clinger in the bowl

mold in my goddamn vegetable stock

everything down the toilet

so angry

so hungry

should've checked

should've ditched it and used a cube

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

[Anonymous No.5623981]

>making little jello shapes for a kid's birthday party
>dump all of the mix in a pan so I can cut easier
>walk it over to put it in fridge
>slowly, so shit doesn't spill over the pan
>sister bumps behind me
>tray flies out of my hand
>jello liquid everywhere
>sticky floors for days

[Anonymous No.5623991]

>>5623594
>wanting to enjoy life = narcissism

This is what miserable little fucks actually believe

[Anonymous No.5624023]

>>5623041
>make a delicous stew my mother used to make
>take my huge pot
>throw 1 kg of meat in there and all the delicous mushrooms and vegtables cause i planned to live off that shit for the next few days
>season it perfectly
>the smell already envelopes the whole flat
>the last ingredient is about a cup or half a cup of milk I don't remember
>stew doesn't really need the milk, it's just to make it even better
>expiration date is still far away and there is about a cup left in the carton
>put the milk in the stew directly from the carton
>it had gone bad, really really bad
>everything ruined
>let out a painful groan not fit for a human being
>cried myself to sleep that day

It still makes me angry thinking about it, so many good ingredients wasted

[Anonymous No.5624025]

>>5623991

i was referring to the "i've payed my dues in life" part

like who says that apart from entitled fucks

to them "enjoying life" means being entitled to anything and everything

[Anonymous No.5624034]

>>5623041
>Taking out the trash at work
>Dumpster usually right around the corner in the garage
>New garbage disposal company moved it
>Don't realise this and toss garbage bag on the floor
>It rips and liquid shit that's been thrown out (batter eggwash etc) spills everywhere
>Panic and just leave it there
>They blame the dishwasher

[Anonymous No.5624037]

>>5624025
That's really hypocritical for you. What entitles you to judge someone's life based on an internet post?
>to them
You sound like a feminist SJW.

[Anonymous No.5624042]

>>5623367
this is why we shouldn't send laptops to Africa.

[Anonymous No.5624044]

>making delicious mejadra for the first time
>dice nice little bell pepper that's been in the fridge for a few days and add it to the onions
>strange smell for a bell pepper, and now we're at it, strange shape too
>lick finger
>fffffffffuuuuuuuuuu

[Anonymous No.5624051]

>Huge potluck at my company ~150 employees
> Make delicious chili overnight in a slow cooker
>Wake up, get ready, grab whole slowcooker and jump in the car
> Not even 30 seconds into my commute go around a turn and the whole fucking thing dumps into my carpet

FUUUcckk, it was winter, I had to pull over on the road and scoop out boiling hot chili with my bare hands because I had nothing else. Washed my hands with some snow and went to work.

I got a picture of the disaster and when everyone asked what I made, I just showed them the picture. We had many hearty laughs at the expense of my car carpet.

[Anonymous No.5624133]

>indo members of extended family are coming to visit
>sure they're tired of italian food (they split their lives between italy and malmö) and don't wanna cook indo food for indo people cuz they can just cook it themselves at home
>decide to pull stuff from another branch of the family
>japanese food!
>yay!
>yippie!
>spend seven hours making chicken bone stock for ramen (like pig bone/tonkotsu stock but suitable for those who do not eat pork)
>put colander in place, lined with muslin
>carefully pour delicious, delicious stock into colander, being sure not to spill any of its chickeny goodness anywhere
>realise colander is in the sink and not sat over a second stock pot
>i just absentmindedly poured a third to half of my stock down the drain
>mfw

[Anonymous No.5624151]

>making mac n cheese
>go to drain noodle
>have fancy lid strainer
>grip slips
>lid comes off
>pasta in sink
>fuck

tried to salvage it but the pasta tasted like dish soap and metal was so pissed

[Anonymous No.5624177]

>>5623650

I sure hope that taught you to use oven gloves.

[Anonymous No.5624181]

>>5623390
>I've already paid my dues in life

I highly doubt that.

[Anonymous No.5624200]

>>5624151
>have fancy lid strainer

kek

[Anonymous No.5624217]

> leave thanksgiving turkey out to defrost overnight
> come morning blanketed in ants

[Anonymous No.5624283]

>>5623348

>being this afraid about messing up one dinner
>namefagging
>f*cking
>stepfather

[Anonymous No.5624311]

I haven't had any big food disasters other than some untasty experiments, but some semi-related kitchen disaster was when I was making soap and was heating up about 3 pounds of oils in a bowl set on a pan with water (just like you melt chocolate) and my GF accidentally tipped the bowl over so about 1 pound of very expensive oils spilled all over the kitchen; cooker, floor, wall, my gf... Shit, we cleaned it for hours, it's been some time since and the kitchen floor still feels slippery oily.

[Anonymous No.5624731]

>>5624025
I've heard my dad say that he's paid his dues. He just retired after working hard to provide for his family for about 40 years. He's such an entitled fuck....

[Anonymous No.5624835]

>>5624181
How could you possibly know? Just random guessing on an anonymous site doesn't count as anything.

[Anonymous No.5624843]

>>5624051
Requesting the picture. I need to see this.

[Anonymous No.5624856]

>>5623041
>I went in to get the cheese
stopped reading there

[Anonymous No.5624983]

>>5623057
sauce?

[Anonymous No.5624991]

>>5624856
why? That seems pretty self explanatory.

[Anonymous No.5625105]

32 ounce jar chopped garlic

i didnt put lid on all teh way. friend drops it a couple weeks ago when we are all in kitchen. he ends up having to clean my fridge and drawers out, and floor


then last fucking week i did the exact same thing. im not sure how im so retarded that this mistake was repeated but fuck is fuck tons of chopped garlic annoying to clean

[Anonymous No.5625156]

>>5623650
>trusting tea-towels

You brought that upon yourself, bro.

[Anonymous No.5625161]

>>5623650
>>pot finds a chink in my clothe armour
Always! Fold the towel! Always!

[Anonymous No.5625208]

Happened to me once.... cousin and I were making fresh salsa from veg in her garden. I told her get some of those lime packets, trulime and anyways made the best tasting salsa ever, fresh for a hot summer day you know? Man I was putting it in the fridge to keep cool until the rest of the food was ready and I didn't set it in far enough so it fell forward and spilled all over the floor...... there weren't enough ingredients to make more. Sad times.

My mom once made homemade meatballs and pasta sauce to bring because we were going to her friend's house for dinner. She was carrying the glass pan in a shallow box because we didn't have a carrier. Bottom of the box opened up and meatballs fell all over the parking lot. She was really sad. I hate spilling stuff, especially when you're tired and looking forward to eating.

[Anonymous No.5625264]

Horchatta that had been sitting for three days

It was my first time making it and I was super excited. Well i go to grab it out of the fridge and the bowl, which was resting of some of my sisters beer now, began to tip over.
I reached out in a wild hope that I may preserve some in the bowl.
Nope.

I caught a little bit in my hand and began licking it out of my hand. Felt like a dog making it a two-fold depressant.

[Anonymous No.5625283]

>>5624025
I want tumblr to leave.

[Anonymous No.5625307]

>save up rotisserie chicken carcasses for a month in the freeze
>onion, celery, carrot ends, wilted herbs, etc. too
>bout to make some epic chicken stock for soup
>Boil everything for hours, skimming and tasting regularly
>Bones literally crumbling away (DAT GELATIN)
>Oh man this soup is gonna be good
>Time to strain everything
>Put strainer in sink
>Pour stock through strainer
>All the liquid goes right down the drain

[Anonymous No.5625315]

>>5625307
george

[Anonymous No.5625323]

>Just bought a bunch of mason jars
>Wanted to learn how to jar
>All I had were beans
>Cook the beans and put them into jars
>Be careful to leave enough room in the jars for gas to expand
>Put them in a pot to boil
>Lay on the couch and fall asleep for 12 fucking hours
>Rush to the kitchen
>Jars look fine but the water's completely boiled out
>Grab tongs and try to pull out one of the jars
>It completely shatters all over my face and hands, scalding me with bean napalm and shredding me with glass
>mfw

[Anonymous No.5625427]

>Working in French restaurant 8-10 years ago
>Self and other cook are the only ones in kitchen for that shift
>Reasonably busy on orders, co-worker runs out of smoked salmon, no extra on-hand, have to grab from downstairs
>Entire side of fish frozen rock hard and still sealed in plastic
>Tries to thaw it in the sink
>Taking too long
>He grabs fish, runs off for a bit
>Comes back looking satisfied, gets back to work
>Shift ends, owner shows up for evening shift (I'm working a double)
>Owner goes looking for some manner of implement, checks dishwasher
>Smoked salmon falls out, still sealed in package
>wat
>Formerly frozen fish is now cooked through
>All the fat has bled out, any hope of saleability ruined
>Our collective faces when

No clue what happened to the order of the guy who originally wanted salmon for lunch though.

[Anonymous No.5625469]

>>5623041
>>5623057
>>5623068

samefag

[Anonymous No.5625472]

>>5623041
>the fucking jar seemingly hopped off the shelf and fell to the floor

Next time, leave out the Mexican Jumping Beans.

[Anonymous No.5625477]

I caught a kitchen on fire once using a regular pot full of oil to make french fries.

[Anonymous No.5625484]

>>5623367
>>5623254

[Anonymous No.5625488]

>>5625472

Greatest post of all time! ALL TIME!

[Anonymous No.5625494]

>>5625283
grow up

[Anonymous No.5625508]

>>5624983
no chili hahahahaha

[Anonymous No.5625590]

>>5624051
Had the same thing happen with a seasoned ground beef mixture I was taking to work. Crock pot dumped on the way to work. Most of the stuff survived, fortunately, but the car stank for days.

[Anonymous No.5626053]

>>5623650
atleast you didn't burn yourself or your girlfriend

[Anonymous No.5626063]

>>5624217
Thats just extra protein

[Anonymous No.5626151]

>>5624025
What are you even talking about?

Is English not your first language?

[Anonymous No.5626169]

>>5624991
real mexican food don't have cheese
cilantro, tomatoes and onions are all that a taco needs

[Anonymous No.5626175]

>>5626169
>real mexican food doesn't have cheese

WAT. GTFO. Sure, because no Mexicans ever eat Cojita or Queso Fresco. That's why the big case of it in the Mercado is always half empty. Nope. NO ONE eats it. What are you, stupid?

[Anonymous No.5626215]

>>5626169
This is a bullshit statement.

[Anonymous No.5626338]

>>5624044
I'm confused. Was it moldy? Had it rotted? Was it not a bell pepper?

Your story is unclear and therefore it sucks

[Anonymous No.5627048]

>>5626338
it was chili pepper

[Anonymous No.5627870]

>>5624042
lmfao

[Anonymous No.5628558]

>>5623831
what was the picture, and why was it deleted?

[Anonymous No.5629254]

>>5624217
No. Please. I'm getting flashbacks. Warring with ants for hours on a tray of ribs my roommate left out overnight. I can still feel them crawling up my face over the kitchen sink.

[Anonymous No.5629499]

>>5625590
>>5624843
It smelled like chili for days, even after I shampooed the carpet

[Anonymous No.5631067]

>Go to make chocolate chip cookies
>Dry ingredients in one bowl
>Grab butter out of the fridge, mix in the measured amount with sugar and egg
>What are those little white specks

Turns out it was garlic butter.

[Anonymous No.5631073]

>extremely tired
>open package of strip loin steak
>throw package in searing hot oil and NY in trash
>...
>call local Chinese place to order take-out

[Anonymous No.5631079]

>Decide to make fondue
>Finished product is all separated, tastes grossly sweet
>Used powder sugar instead of flour

[Anonymous No.5631217]

> i hurry... have to made some chocolat cakes for 20 people
> mesure all the ingredients in bowls
> melt the chocolat with the butter
> put eggs suggar and flour
> mix everything together...

> taste ...
> oshit.jpg
>
>mfw it was not 200g sugar but 200g salt i put in...

[Anonymous No.5631301]

>>5624181
durr everyone is a shitty privileged person who dont work for anything


>assuming

[Anonymous No.5631313]

>>5631073
Just rinse the steak off you pussy.