/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.5616194]

Stupid shit you've all heard.
>"Yummy!" and any variation, looking at you women, and especially Rachel Ray
>*Moans whilst eating*
>"To die for"
>"Like an orgasm/party in my mouth!"
>"I could eat this everyday"
>"Taste just like my Grandma's"
>"Just like mom used to make it"
>"Old Fashion"
>"Gourmet"
>"Delish"

[Anonymous No.5616202]

OP is a baguette

[Anonymous No.5616213]

>>5616194
>"Oh mi gosh anon this is just like (insert shit tier chain/restaurant)'s"
>"I can not control my self around these, i just eat too many"
>"This is so orgasmic"
>"My dead (insert family member) used to make it just like this"

[Anonymous No.5616219]

BTW OP is a Grill

[Anonymous No.5616299]

>>5616194
>wow this is fucking disgusting
>i now realize my ultimate regret in life: birthing you

[Anonymous No.5616333]

>>5616194
I am a horrible person. Everytime I really enjoyed a meal, I call it "divine".

[Anonymous No.5616384]

>>5616299
wut

[Anonymous No.5616410]

>>5616194
>tasty

really any abbreviated word that ends with that sounds

>veggie
>yummy
>tasty

I actually get ruffled when people describe my food using those words

[Anonymous No.5616415]

>>5616333
i've said words

>irregardless of how it looks that was totes delish lol

of course I was just doing it to piss someone off

[Anonymous No.5616416]

>>5616415
You probably suceeded

[Anonymous No.5616420]

>>5616194
Fucking "yummy". That one just bothers the hell out of me for some reason.

As for me personally,
"This needs more sugar"
"So is this a real thing, or did you just make it up?"

[Anonymous No.5616427]

>>5616420
Oh and "that's real food, none of that messed around stuff"

What the hell is messed around stuff.

Also
>veggie
and
>carby

[Anonymous No.5616437]

Clearly the only way to compliment food around you fuckers is to eat in complete, emotionless silence.

[Anonymous No.5616442]

>>5616437
just talk about some part of it you liked, like the taste or texture or how it looked. Don't just say
>that was yummy
like some autistic redditor trying to give out advice on their shitty sandwich recipes. I really think it stems from the person just not sound authentic.

[Anonymous No.5616445]

>>5616437
Or you could just describe it with more substance a fucking 10 year old

[Anonymous No.5616455]

>>5616194
I say Yumm-o a lot, every time I take a bite I try to moan a little if the chef is around so that he knows I like it.

If its really good I call it Yum Yum food which I will eat any time of the day no matter when.
I also call appetizers Yummers , entrees I call Om-Nom-Nomtrees and desserts Yesserts which confuses some peoople but I explain it to them they think I'm crazy but it'll catch on eventually.

[Anonymous No.5616460]

>>5616455
I don't think you're crazy, I think you're a gril

[Anonymous No.5616462]

>>5616194
>Oishii!

[Anonymous No.5616467]

>>5616455
>Hoes actually do this kind of bullshit
smh ugly as hell

[Anonymous No.5616487]

>it adds a kick
>there's a kick
>this could do with a kick
>not too much of a kick, though
>I love it when food has a bit of a kick to it
>add some pepper, that gives it a sort of kick

To anyone that cannot describe themselves properly and so inserts "kick" as a catch all: I want to kick you in the kicks.

[Anonymous No.5616932]

>>5616194
"Is it good? Or is it AIN'T?2

[Anonymous No.5616946]

>>5616487

[Anonymous No.5616949]

>"oh these are my weakness!"

[Anonymous No.5616954]

>>5616410
What about savory you fucking autist?

[Anonymous No.5616965]

>>5616487
WOAH! Looks like we're on an express train to Haterville, with a special stop at That's Not What Your Mom Said Last Night Town!

[Anonymous No.5617055]

>>5616954
is that an abbreviation? no it isn't retard. It also isn't a vapid description

[Anonymous No.5617094]

>>5616194
>"Like an orgasm/party in my mouth!"

Hey man
"It's like sex, only I'm having it!"
is a perfectly fine thign to say

[Anonymous No.5617103]

>>5617055
How is tasty an abbreviation? What's the long form, tastilicious?

And you call others retarded.

[Anonymous No.5617112]

>>5616299
me too. sigh
fucking going to end it all one day...

[Anonymous No.5617123]

>>5616194
>mfw people pull this shit around me
Just eat the fucking food for fucks sake, does vocalising like some hungry French homeless man really help you enjoy the food more.
I'll usually know if my food is good, bad or great, so shut up.

[Anonymous No.5617127]

>>5616194
You seem like an enjoyable person to be around.

[Anonymous No.5617150]

>>5617123

some people like to express how they feel

i understand if that doesn't make sense to you, given how much your parents hated you and called you stupid whenever you tried to express yourself as a child

this fucking thread i swear to god

[Anonymous No.5617183]

>>5616437
The best way to compliment food is to eat very loudly.

[Anonymous No.5617197]

>>5617150
Maybe you should put on the trip 'yummers' or 'deelish', faggot.

[Anonymous No.5617242]

>>5617197
>implying everyone who vocalizes how much they like their food must speak like a 2 year old

Man...I hate to use this word, but in this case, autist might apply. You do realize that many, many, many highly intelligent people like to eat in groups and discuss their food as they eat, right? Have you never been to a dinner party? I'm guessing you haven't, since the thought of a group of people eating at a dinner party in silence over the food is completely UNHEARD of. Jesus....how fucking assbackwards can you get.....

[Anonymous No.5617281]

>>5617242
I have no issue with people asking about the technique or ingredients used.

[Anonymous No.5617320]

>>5617281
LOL, so if you are at someone's home for a dinner party, and a person tells the host "this __ is delicious!" you'd call them a faggot? The only appropriate dinner conversation about food is technique and ingredients? Who the fuck are you, Irish Stew Guy? GTFO.

[Anonymous No.5617346]

>>5617320
>and a person tells the host
Then that is the business of the host.
If I have cooked for some family or friends then they most likely know they need not use the terminology of a five year old girl to compliment the food.

[Anonymous No.5617352]

>>5616437
Or you could describe what you liked about it instead of talking like a toddler. Its like if someone asked you what you liked about their food and how to improve and you just said "it was good!" That shit doesnt help.

[Anonymous No.5617363]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtS2Ikk7A9I&list=WL&index=31

[Anonymous No.5617377]

>"What's your recipe?"

[Anonymous No.5617382]

>>5616194
>You want to put it where?
Classic

[Anonymous No.5617394]

Instead of being delicious, things are now "yum". as in, "that pizza is yum"...I hate this worthless, infantile generation so very much.

[Anonymous No.5617410]

>>5617346
>delicious
>terminology of a five year old

Yep, you are definitely Irish Stew fucker. Why don't you go bake another loaf of soda bread shaped like a dildo and shove it up your rectum till it bleeds, just like you do every Saturday night.

[Anonymous No.5617425]

>artisan

[Anonymous No.5617436]

>>5617394
Don't hate them, teach them if you can.

Remember that there's always someone quicker than yourself. Always.

[Anonymous No.5617443]

>>5617425
this, when they fucking pronounce it "are-tee-shun"
I live in Alabama by the way.

[Anonymous No.5617445]

>>5616437
This fucking guy gets it.

[Anonymous No.5617448]

>>5617094

>orgasm in my mouth

I wonder if people realize the image this conjures up.

[Anonymous No.5617450]

>>5617346

Your food must be shit.

[Anonymous No.5617453]

>>5617443
You sure they're not saying 'artesian'?

[Anonymous No.5617456]

>>5616420
>is this a real thing or did you make it up
I've never heard that one. I would genuinely be confused and not know how to answer.
I also never hear anyone say things are "yummy" or "delish"
My 72 year old grandmothers says "delish" and "jazz it up" sometimes, but I just assumed that is old lady speak.

For some reason, normal cooking terms piss me off and I have no idea why. These are pretty standard things to say when talking about cooking by holy shit I will never say them, it's like nails on a chalkboard to me.
>render
I hate that fucking word.
>caramelization
>see that caramelization on there?
>you need to caramelize it some more for a NUTTY flavor
God fucking dammit
>nutty
>it tastes kind of nutty

I hate all of that shit, it's really a legitimate term to describe a taste too, I wonder why I hate it so much.

Also, to a lesser degree- "deglazing"
>what did you use to DEGLAZE that pan? White wine?
....yes. White wine.

[Anonymous No.5617460]

>>5617453
Yeah, when it's spelled on the menu "artisan" like an artisan bread, not artesian spring water.
It's just because these dumb hicks literally can't read above a third grade level.
>yes I mad, I hate illiteracy in adults

[Anonymous No.5617473]

>>5616932
I still watch that curry rice episode sometimes, because when it ain't, it AIN'T

[Anonymous No.5618139]

>>5616462
>Wah~ umai!
>anon - laugh- what the fuck was that?

[Anonymous No.5618142]

>>5617450
Yeah, that's why I have to stop people from complimenting it.

[Anonymous No.5618154]

>>5616415
>irregardless
Shudder.jpg

[Anonymous No.5618163]

>>5617377
What's the problem with that?

[Anonymous No.5618181]

>>5618154
>autism.gif

[Anonymous No.5618193]

>>5617410
Are you the agressive drunk coworker?

[Anonymous No.5618195]

>>5617410
Soda bread is somewhat crumbly.
A crusty baguette would be better.

[Anonymous No.5618221]

>>5616194
ITT people who are either too self-loathing or otherwise fucked in the head to be able to accept compliments in a normal manner.

[Anonymous No.5618228]

>>5616410
"Veggie" pisses me off so much. Vegetarians get called pansies and all that as it is, but people had to make it worse by slapping that stupid fucking word onto every vegetarian meal.

[Anonymous No.5618242]

roommates when im cooking
>what is in there?
bitch, there are three ingredients which are laid out on the table
>what is it called?
fried leftovers, mutherfucker! veggies and sausages. Eh, I mean, "sauted assortement of legumes with a touch of summer herbs áu provence, solidified meat paste sticks and dehumidified pain áu yesterday"

[Anonymous No.5618250]

>>5618228
Dude, it's not a new fad word or anything. "Veggie" has been in common circulation for at least 20 years. That's as far back as I can remember a menu at Subway, at any rate. It's a veggie sub, not a vegetarian sub. The English language is pock=-marked with abbreviations. That particular one isn't a surprise or even nonsensical. "Vegetarian" is a very clinical sounding term. There's a reason marketers and common folks don't like to use it all the time. It's not a "nice" word.

[Anonymous No.5618257]

>>5617103
'that tastes good'
'thats tasty ^_^'

you can abbreviate more than just a single word hun

[Anonymous No.5618260]

>Looks like we've got ramsay in the kitchen today! Haha anon!

[Anonymous No.5618261]

I fucking love cooking but I hate so many words that revolve around it.

Decadent, indulgent, anything that even sounds like someone would have their mouth full while they said it.

[Anonymous No.5618267]

>>5617377
>tfw when I harass anyone who asks that on /ck/

[Anonymous No.5618270]

>>5617456
maybe because they are fairly simple terms that retarded fratbros can pick up to sound skilled while they render their steak well done and carmelize some potatoes to go with it

[Anonymous No.5618276]

>>5618250
it would be vegetable sub. And not that guy, but it just makes them sound fuckign worse, like huge little babies too scared to eat meat because it might get grease on their manicure

[Anonymous No.5620162]

>>5616455

[Anonymous No.5620922]

>>5616194
>not fapping whilst a female food reviewer moans

[Anonymous No.5621777]

IT MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH.

[Anonymous No.5621797]

>>5616455
If I was your chef I'd be mouthing "what the fuck" silently

[Anonymous No.5621812]

The sound of chewing drives me insane, and I especially don't like all those other sounds people make when they're enjoying food

I don't have anything against it but fuck me if it isn't a big pet peeve of mine, I wish I could give my family a reason for not eating at the table that isn't "dad chews so loud I have to make a conscious effort to not look like I'm about to go postal"

[Anonymous No.5621823]

>>5621812
I hate listening to people eat crunchy food. Especially vegetables like carrots and cucumbers.

[Anonymous No.5621836]

>>5621812
I understand tour point.
I got to the point of getting out of a room when someone was eating because I couldn't stand that chewing sound. It bugged me really hard. As an attempt to easy this feeling, I tried to pay attention to my own chewing sound. Just as disgusting as ever.
My life changed a lot a few months ago, so now I'm just to tired to care, but I can remember all the hatred filling my thought just from listening it.
I hope I don't ever face this thing again.

[Anonymous No.5623201]

>>5618181
I bet you're one of those faggots who thinks "literally" means "figuratively".

[Anonymous No.5623208]

>>5621812
>I wish I could give my family a reason for not eating at the table that isn't "dad chews so loud I have to make a conscious effort to not look like I'm about to go postal"

The worst of it is when you can't come up with a polite way to ask someone to chew with their mouth closed because even a simple "Please chew with your mouth closed" gains you a look of horror, as if you just killed a baby in front of them.

>>5621836
>I tried to pay attention to my own chewing sound.

I also do this. I'm not perfect at keeping my mouth shut when I chew, but most of the time I manage. It depends on how chewy the food itself is.

[Anonymous No.5623215]

>"Moans whilst eating"
Thank you so much for hating this. I honestly thought I was the only one.

[Anonymous No.5623220]

I close my eyes for a bit and smile when I eat something really delicious.

Deal with it, nerds.

[Anonymous No.5623279]

>>5618242
>pain au yesterday
made me chuckle, anon.

[Anonymous No.5623302]

>>5623208
My boss likes to eat at the desk next to me and she smacks her food like a motherfucker. Pure hate. I wish I could yell at her and keep my job.

[Anonymous No.5623316]

>>5621812
I hate the sound of my own chewing. I really try to be quiet when I'm eating cause it pisses me off so bad.
>that wet chewing sound you can hear in your own mouth
Other people have to be smacking their lips and generally eating like a 5 year old to piss me off though. Chewing with their mouth open never cease to piss me off. My brother has just recently stopped doing this. He is fucking 30 years old, I had to grow up with that loud, open mouthed chewing, and being a kid with no censor on what I say, I would always yell at him about it and he just didn't care. I ate dinner at his house yesterday and finally noticed he doesn't do that.

>>5623220
Good thing people don't generally study your face when you eat.

[Anonymous No.5623481]

>>5618228

"Veggie" has been a thing for decades. It's a kiddie way of discusssing vegetables

[Anonymous No.5623521]

>>5618257
>you can abbreviate more than just a single word hun
>hun

>mfw

[Anonymous No.5625667]

>>5616194
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you; you have autism.

[Anonymous No.5625681]

>>5618142
>I have to stop people from complimenting it.
k

[Anonymous No.5625689]

>grandma told me she saw a REALLY fat woman on tv saying food gives her orgasms
>mfw

Why are people so gross?

[Anonymous No.5625705]

>umami
RAGEMODE

[Anonymous No.5625766]

>>5625705
But dude, umami is a specific and legitimate flavor linked to an identifiable and measurable chemical, the same as say, salty, right? Why such hate :^)?