/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.5541509]

/ck/onfession thread. Let it out, friends.

>my knife set is from walmart
>my stove/oven are electric (shitty apartment, no choice)
>I use blocks of publix mozarella on my pizzas
>I use hormel pepperoni on my pizzas
>I buy baby carrots
>I use storebought BBQ sauce

[SENIOR BORRACHO No.5541550]

>knife set is from ROSS
>most appliances from Walmart
>I don't always eat fast food, but when I do I choose taco bell
>i like dashes of Tabasco sauce on almost everything
>sometimes I buy that self serve kiosk jerky from the gas station when refilling
>every herb, vegetable, or pepper I try to grow dies
>old crow is my favorite alcohol
>i buy frozen shit from trader joes for when I'm too drunk
>i don't buy them because its shit but pop tarts, mountain dew and doritos taste fucking good
>crunchy ground beef tacos are delicious
>bacon isn't that great
>seafood is disusting

[Anonymous No.5541560]

I'm unemployed, all my shit's from goodwill

[Anonymous No.5541565]

>I'be dropped your steak between the grill and frier.
>Washed off in the hot grease and served it.

[Anonymous No.5541566]

>>5541509
>my stove/oven are electric
I've never got why this is a problem for people.
Are you incapable of moving a pot that has finished cooking to a cold ring? do you like uneven baking? are you upset electric doesn't have the same easy-out option for when your inadequet baking skills finally push you into suicidal depression?

[Anonymous No.5541574]

I've developed a recent habit of buying pre-minced garlic in a jar, and I'm okay with this.

[Anonymous No.5541575]

>>5541509
>Sometimes i buy chicken breast cutlets instead of whole chickens
>i'll usually buy any meat that is on sale despite the quality
>sometimes i buy those ready made rotisserie chicken's from publix and walmart
>I rather cook fast and efficient and slow

[Anonymous No.5541579]

>>5541566

It doesn't get as hot and it takes much longer to heat up.

[Anonymous No.5541584]

>>5541579
>It doesn't get as hot
it does tho
>it takes much longer to heat up
it's true than an electric ring takes seconds to heat up while a gas ring is a burning flame from ignition, but electric ovens heat up much faster than gas do

[Anonymous No.5541597]

I'm a food critic, I dine out to fancy restaurants about 2-5 times a week, fully comped. This is a confession because the one or two times I've mentioned it here, people seem to get REALLY angry at me.

[Anonymous No.5541608]

>>5541597
it was probably the manner in which you conveyed the information, since otherwise nobody would care

[Anonymous No.5541618]

>>5541608
the manner is usually a thread where people describe what they do in the dining industry, and I just say that I am a food writer for a couple different magazines, travel sites, etc. Then suddenly I am the scum of the earth and no better than a boob with a yelp account.

[Anonymous No.5541621]

>buy publix rotisserie chicken at least once a week and get my meat/protein from there throughout the week since I live alone and it lasts me forever
>I use garlic in almost everything
>all of my kitchen appliances are from TJ Maxx
>I like making shitty poached eggs because I like the taste of water with my eggs

[Anonymous No.5541626]

>I don't cook, I just like to come on /ck/ and look at pictures of things that look tasty, and sometimes I just come here to shitpost.
>I'm from /v/.

[Anonymous No.5541637]

>>5541621
>all of my kitchen appliances are from TJ Maxx
nothing wrong with this, I often see good quality for low prices in there, especially shoes. Though they do have shit mixed in that you can easily avoid by examining it yourself and looking up reviews

[Anonymous No.5541644]

>>5541509
Hey now...Ross, TJMaxx, Marshalls...this is a great source for great brand names and artisan stuff. I regularly see top quality knives, solid copper omelette pans, le cruset, celebrity chef closeouts, beautiful cutting boards from hardwoods, and up to date accessories, whether silicone loaf pans or silpats, or gadgets. It's fine. Anyone setting up an apartment should park themselves near the clearance section and pick up quality items one by one.

I also recommend Macy's one day sales plus coupon, and really decent pawn shops.

[Anonymous No.5541646]

>>5541637
Yeah. I like their knock-off/cheapo Le Creuset bowls for baking.

[Anonymous No.5541652]

>>5541550
>every herb, vegetable, or pepper I try to grow dies
>i like dashes of Tabasco sauce on almost everything
>i buy frozen shit from trader joes for when I'm too drunk
>i don't buy them because its shit but pop tarts, mountain dew and doritos taste fucking good
>I don't always eat fast food, but when I do I choose taco bell

>>5541509
>I buy baby carrots

>>5541560
>I'm unemployed, all my shit's from goodwill

I know all these feels.

[Anonymous No.5541656]

>I put hot sauce on almost everything
>knives are shitty generic things
>utensils are from friend stealing flatware from work
>all my pots and pans are from grocery stores
When I broke up with a girl long ago, I let her have all of the stainless steel pots and pans cause I didn't feel like even talking to her at all anymore
>Hamburger helper is kinda good
>I shop at a Mexican grocery store because it's right next to my apartment

When I do cook stuff that is 100% fresh ingredients and take a lot of time doing it, I feel good for about .5 seconds, then I see the mound of dishes I have to do, my shitty fucking horrible pothead roommate does not do dishes, ever and wont even throw anything away. So I eat just for myself and save a massive amount of leftovers, and eat it once or twice again the next day, then throw out anything that is left because Im the only one eating it.
>might as well buy microwave cooking for one

Stupid shitty lazy nigger roommate just eats fast food and leaves the trash all around where he passes out for the evening and if he does cook he ONLY makes ramen noodles and leave the bowl and pot to sit there and fester until I clean it, or yell and break it in a fit of rage.

[Anonymous No.5541688]

>>5541652
>every herb, vegetable, or pepper I try to grow dies
plant is soft, floppy, leaves are curled up: underwatered - water more often
leaves are starting to yellow, soil is damp: overwatered -water less often
plant is pale, growing extremely tall or at an awkward angle: poor light - cut in half, pot the top halves(they can grow their own roots, make sure both halves have leaves to feed themselves with. rooting powder helps but is not always necessary), move plants to an area with good sunlight
leaves are crisp: too hot/bright - move them somewhere cooler
stem is withered/browning: too cold - move them somewhere warmer
smaller than it should be this far into the season: pot too small or soil is shit - repot in a larget pot with good compost/soil
piles of insects are all over the plant: spray with pesticides, or go get some spiders/ ladybugs/ etc.

[Anonymous No.5542145]

>>5541509
What's wrong with Publix mozzarella? Where I live if you used buffalo mozzarella for everything you'd be in the poorhouse in a week. I use Publix mozzerella for day to day things and buffalo for special occasions/dinners.

Confessions:
-I'm not usually a picky eater but seriously fuck capers they make everything in the dish taste like shit brine
-I've had some seriously amazing food, both made by myself and at 5 star restaurants, but sometimes I just want McDs/Taco Bell and I don't see that changing
-I'm that fag who thinks most things should be homeade. I don't tell people that in real life but on /ck/ sure since it's a cooking board. Was just forced to have jarred pasta sauce and it's fucking gross.
-My knife skills are pretty bad but they work for me so I don't focus on improving them

[Anonymous No.5542227]

>I spend too much money on cooking things
>I have an electric stove and oven because I rent

[Anonymous No.5542250]

>>5542145
>-My knife skills are pretty bad but they work for me so I don't focus on improving them
I know this feel. I'm probably still above average compared to a lot of chucklefucks my age, but I'm still pretty sloppy.

>sometimes leave leftovers out for days and still eat them
>my kitchen is well-organized, but fucking filthy in the nooks and crannies
>I've never cleaned my oven because it was disgusting when I moved in and I don't feel like the sucker who actually puts in some effort
>I pat myself on the back for not making soft drinks part of my grocery shopping routine, but I still get a big gulp every other day

[Anonymous No.5542260]

I don't have a water bottle and just drink packaged water

80% of my diet consists of whatever I can buy on clearance

One time I bought some single serve cereal cups but I didn't like how they tasted, I found out my parents had a box of the same cereal so I just dumped them in it

>>5541509
Sweet Baby Ray's is pretty GOAT, I like putting it on pork or meatloaf when no one's looking.

[Anonymous No.5542267]

>>5542227

Those amco cups/spoons are based as fuck.

Sometimes when walking by where mine are hanging I fondle them just because.

They aren't even expensive and will last forever.

[Anonymous No.5542271]

80% of what I eat is beans and rice.
I wish I could afford/stand to be like my friends that eat out for nearly every meal.

[Anonymous No.5542277]

>>5542267
They really are nice, I dont know what brand they are though, it was quite awhile back that I got them.

[Anonymous No.5542296]

>>5542277

>I dont know what brand they are though

T-they're amco.

Their shit really varies in quality. They make everything from cheap home kitchen shit to industrial restaurant supplies.

In any case, I've been waiting till I lived somewhere with a big enough sink so I could wash a cutting board like yours, before buying one.

And there's nothing wrong with a single, brass saute pan, as long as you make good use of it.

Nice things are nice. It's people who buy expensive sets of things they don't even know what to do with that are fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.5542303]

>>5542296
I'm just slowly replacing all my cookware with copper, I find most of it on sale but at some point after I buy a few other things I was thinking of buying a few more at once. I have had the measuring cups and spoon for 3 years now and they are still going on strong with very little signs of wear. Really though I do probably spend too much money on kitchen implements.

[Anonymous No.5542313]

>i don't mind imitation crab meat
>I use I can't believe it's not butter
>I don't mind ranch on pizza
>I buy frozen chicken breasts
>I buy hot pockets
>I have a french press but use my keurig over it
>I prefer nonstick to cast iron
>I prefer digiorno or palermo to delivery

[Anonymous No.5542327]

>>5542313
You are worse than Hitler.

[Anonymous No.5542333]

>>5541509
My knives are dull-ass kitchen aid.

I don't give a fuck, good meals come from ingredients, attention, and time --not knife skills.

[Anonymous No.5542364]

>open to trying new foods but never like them because palette of a child
>i just want to like different foods
>pls

[Anonymous No.5542373]

>>5541509
I only eat food that is raw, microwaveable, or can be cooked in a toaster because I don't have enough time to cook food, let alone wash dishes (I don't have a dishwasher, so washing dishes takes forever).

[Anonymous No.5542391]

> I cook with 15 year old cheap 'nonstick' pots which now have silver showing through on the bottom and will probably kill me any day now
> I have a 24 knife set my grandma gave me from figis and use whatever I have on hand when needed, aka using a carving knife to butter bread.
> I have a giant wooden fork and spoon set hanging on the wall of my kitchen
> I don't own a microwave
> I'm terrible at cleanup even though I have little room for food prep
> I'll sometimes cut food on the towel I have laid down to set wet dishes on
> I'll sometimes just bite off chunks of carrots or other food and add it to what I'm cooking

[Anonymous No.5543564]

>>5541509
>be professional cook
>have a multitude of wonderful knives, both at home and at work
>still half the time (at home) grab the chef knife I bought at Dollar General 8 years ago.
>mfw

[Anonymous No.5543576]

>>5541574
I do this too and its life changing

[Anonymous No.5543588]

>find one of those 'brownie in a mug' recipes on /ck/
>attempt to make it
>finish it
>looks pretty good
>take a bite
>almost vomit
>realized I used cinnamon instead of cocoa
Never again

[Anonymous No.5543630]

>>5542391

[Anonymous No.5543632]

>>5541509

My pots and pans are worth more than some peoples cars.

[Anonymous No.5543633]

Anything below medium is shit.

[Anonymous No.5543647]

>>5541574
How does it even taste? I've never tried it.

[Anonymous No.5543655]

>>5543647
It tastes like garlic.

[Anonymous No.5543675]

>>5542145
>-My knife skills are pretty bad but they work for me so I don't focus on improving them

OP here, this applies to me too. I don't plan to ever cook professionally so fuck it.

[Anonymous No.5543678]

>>5542313
>>I use I can't believe it's not butter

I can't think of any good reason to ever do this.

[Anonymous No.5543704]

>>5541509
I only eat whole wheat bread because it's the cheapest at the store.

[Anonymous No.5543711]

>>5543678
Health benefits.

[Anonymous No.5543724]

>>5543711
What health benefits?

[Anonymous No.5543728]

>>5543678

lower in calories

>tfw dancer

[Anonymous No.5543733]

>>5543728
use less butter then
margarine is way worse for you

[Anonymous No.5543743]

>>5541509
>I prefer my salads with lettuce, not spinach
>I hate kale but grow it and preach its benefits
>I will only eat hard fruit, even if it means it's underripe
>I cook with olive oil at much higher heats than I'm supposed to

[Anonymous No.5543751]

>>5541509
>I'm incompetent when it comes to deep frying. >Everything burns or falls apart.
>I cook more often than necessary because sometimes I just want to be around food- I don't even eat most of the stuff I cook. I collect recipes and pictures of food for the same reason.
>No matter how hard I try, I'm pretty slow with knives..which is embarrassing at work. I also cut myself way more often than other people.
>I don't like sugary or greasy foods. I just.. don't like the taste of fatty food, plus it's a real bitch to digest. And sugar (refined carbs in general) makes me feel funny. No, it's not because I'm being holier than thou, I've hated that stuff since I was a kid.
>I hate the feeling of a full stomach. It makes me uncomfortable.
>My favourite knife has been passed down through the family- it has been sharpened again and again and is much smaller than the original- it was once used to puncture a cow who was going to die because she'd eaten too much clover and was swelling with gas.- this incident was decades ago, but I can't tell anyone who I cook for because they'd probably freak out.
>Most of my income goes on food- my clothes are pretty much all from when I was around 16.
Eh and..
I have really low self-esteem so when I cook for people, I can't help but apologise for it.
& It's only my hatred of waste that stops me from throwing out half the stuff I'm making while I'm making it because I suddenly decide that it isn't going to be good enough.

[Anonymous No.5543829]

>>5541509
I have a Paula Deen knife set that I paid for myself, from Wal-Mart. It was about $15.

My old chef's knife literally broke out of the handle.

[Anonymous No.5543899]

>>5541509
>I use sriracha in the place of garlic/chilli in recipes when I'm either lazy or poor
>I think McDonalds and KFC taste good when made properly
>honestly prefer mass produced beer like Heineken to local "craft" beers, which I find nearly utterly undrinkable
>I regularly drink casked wine and red label-tier spirits cause I'm that poor
>think that most crustaceans are disgusting and an utter waste of time to prepare and eat
>I have never been able to make a good roux, despite having tried over a dozen times and having seen numerous full length viedo tutorials showing me how to do so
>I leave cooked rice in the cooker out for days and eat it
>I believe that almost no dishes served with bacon wouldnt be improved by substituting it for pancetta/proscuitto
>half of my bowls/platers I found dumped in my street a few years ago, I washed them a few times and have been using them since

[Anonymous No.5543920]

>I totally suck at thickening sauces and making sauces in general despite working in food industry
>At best i cook once or twice a month something at home otherwise i allways eat outside/at work or buy premade salads
>I think steak, bacon and pasta are overrated shit
>Burger, pizza, kebab and tacos/burritos are true culinary masterpieces while "high-class" (steak, italian pasta dishes etc) are shit not worth mentioning
I also fap to chinese cartoons but that's not /ck/

[Anonymous No.5543997]

off the top of my head ...
(I'm not pro-cook/foodie etc so none of that obsessive shit about knock-off knife sets, imported japanese/peruvian whateverthefucks, or ... meh you know what I mean)

>I cook all my carbs/starches in a plastic container in my microwave
>said microwave doesn't even have a digital display, just a dial that goes from 1-10, then 10-20-30 etc
>I cook most of my meat with a foreman
>I also cook my chips and wedges on my foreman (though tbh I rarely eat either these days)
>I clean said foreman about once every 2 years
>my foreman in fact isn't even a foreman; its a cheap knock-off but it does the job
>I don't even use my oven that often, only to make oven pizza and chili
>I make said chilis with jarred sauces (among other ingredints ofc)
>I use 3 teaspoons of sugar in my porridge
>I sometimes use sweetner!! (the dreaded aspartame!!)
>I have a good job and am swimming in cash but still drink tons of cheap as shit beer (not even talking about bud/heineken etc ... my tastes are way below that)

[Anonymous No.5544050]

>I go through a ton of pasta-roni because I'm too lazy to make real pasta
>I like meat odne medium-rare but can only cook it well-done
>Sometimes I'll make a hotdish and eat it out of the pan
>When I bake a cake I don't frost it unless it's for someone else
>I put tabasco on everything
>I eat every meal in front of my computer
>I don't put milk on my ceral

[Anonymous No.5544650]

I combine food/ingredients only in regards to what I think tastes good together. The meals I make are probably a disgrace to several countries. I use indian spices in italian food, mediterranean ingredients in korean soups etc, you get the picture.

[Anonymous No.5544737]

I fucking hate eggs, I mean I eat foods with eggs in them, but like eggs as a dish? Gross.

>I want to like eggs tho
>dat breakfast with some toast and fried eggs

They seem like they would be so good.
I really do want to like them, but you know, they taste bad.

[Anonymous No.5546945]

Sometimes I eat more than I should and throw it up after. I'm mot bulimic, I just absolutely loathe the feeling of being full and sometimes I just really want to eat a lot of something.

[Anonymous No.5546957]

>>5541584
My parents' oven is pretty old so maybe newer ovens have more powerful elements, but my gas oven takes about the same amount of time to heat up as their electric.

Also short enough time that it doesn't matter anyway, 5 minutes for anything if I don't have my tiles in it, if my tiles are in it I let them preheat for at least 20-30 minutes anyway.

[Anonymous No.5547010]

>I cook my husband's dinner in a scratched teflon-coated pan
>I put basil in pasta sauce
>I haven't used fresh garlic for over a year
>I defrost frozen meat in the microwave
>sometimes I nuke salmon for salmon cakes instead of baking it in the oven
>I'll stick an open can in the fridge or freezer if I didn't use the entirety of it's contents
>I will serve food that's been dropped

[Anonymous No.5547035]

>I haven't been able to fry an egg without having it stick in the pan for the last six months, never used to be a problem before
>I sometimes cook when I'm not hungry and force myself to eat because I am in the mood to cook something
>I sometimes bake things because I hope someone in the corridor will show up and I can make them hang out with me for a few minutes while they try my stuff
>I always eat at the computer except I'm eating with someone once every other month
>I don't like pasta, it just doesn't taste good and fills me up in a weird way that I don't like so I have never even made it myself
>I literally wait until things get moldy before I throw them away, I've gotten sick a few times from eating food that has been in the fridge for too long

[Anonymous No.5547038]

>>5547010
>I haven't used fresh garlic for over a year
You monster.

[Anonymous No.5547094]

I don't own a frying pan.

[Anonymous No.5547129]

>>5547038
It's just that my husband bought a huge container of granulated garlic and a large jar of minced garlic. Despite using them every day
I've yet to reach the bottom of either.

[Anonymous No.5547145]

>>5547010
Basil is never wrong

[Anonymous No.5547182]

>>5543632
Those must be some cheap shit lego plastic cars

[Anonymous No.5547187]

>>5544737
You have issues, consider killing yourself before you freak out and shoot up a school

[Anonymous No.5547189]

>>5541509
>i put ketchup on my food

[Anonymous No.5547216]

>>5547035
theirs a specific way to make every single egg yolk break when you crack it into a pan. tee hee

[Anonymous No.5547222]

>>5544737
I'm the same, omelettes etc just taste so shitty.

Also bacon, only places i can understand it is in burger and in certain soups and pies as a spice but just fried? fuck no.

[Anonymous No.5547225]

I only buy frozen vegetables because I'm very poor and I try to stretch my food as long as possible. Most of my fresh vegetables go bad before I get a chance to use them. The grocery store is far away so I only go every 2 months or so. While I'm there, I buy storebrand everything and cubesteak.

[Anonymous No.5547228]

If I'm in a pinch I will thaw frozen meat in hot water.

[Anonymous No.5547232]

>>5547225
when in season buy a lot fresh and can/dry/freeze them. theyre cheap as

[Anonymous No.5547236]

>>5547232
I have done that in the past, but the grocery store I go to has a very limited fresh produce selection.

[Anonymous No.5547252]

I like to spike the food of vegans and Muslims in food courts with dried cum flakes from my neighbor's pig.

[Anonymous No.5547290]

>>5547145
You and I know this, anon. But many an italian-american adamantly believe that basil belongs in a pizza sauce only.. Go figure

[Anonymous No.5547312]

>recipe books and cooking magazines everywhere
>recipe cards everywhere
>dozens of cooking websites bookmarked with things I want to try
>lie about fancy shit i've made at work
>visit /ck/ regularly and argue about the proper way to cook things

>I hate cooking

[Anonymous No.5547365]

>>5547252
Sounds complicated.

[Anonymous No.5547784]

>>5547182
It's not hard to find pots/pans that cost hundreds of dollars.

It's not hard to find cars that cost $1500.

[Anonymous No.5547830]

>>5546945
You're bulimic.

[Anonymous No.5548142]

>I don't wash my hands before I start cooking.
>When I make cookies, that's what's for dinner.
>I hate dishes and always cook in a dirty kitchen.
>Baby carrots are cheaper than whole a good portion of the time at the big supermarkets so they are ALL I buy.
>I have more electric appliances than I will ever need or use, but did not pay for a single one.
>I have roaches. The unkempt kitchen is my white flag to them to leave the rest of the house the hell alone. Also no one else ever cooks or cleans, so fuck them.

Don't ever get shitty roommates and never live with your parents during their midlife crisis.

[Anonymous No.5548159]

>>5541626
This.

I'm a shit baker, I can't even cook simple chocolate chip cookies. But I can cook some basic stuff like chicken, noodles, and some rice. Once I cooked some broi and posted it on here and everyone asked how I made it because it looked so good and I told them I steamed it on a stovetop pot when I really steamed it in the microwave.

[Anonymous No.5548583]

>>5547290
Fuck them. Places like Rao's use basil in their (world famous) sauce and they certainly know more than your average guido

[Anonymous No.5548636]

>>5541509
My knives are cheep shit from the 70's I got from my grandmother. The largest one is the size of a butter knife and they are all sharped down to nubs.
I'm likewise stuck with an electric stove. Mine doesn't even keep a consistent internal temperature and I have to manually adjust it when baking.
I don't even know what publix mozzarella is.
Baby carrots here too.

I don't weed my garden. It's survival of the fittest out there. I still get plenty of tomato, lettuce, and herbs though.
The only thermometer I use is a laser one.
I claim I cook everything from scratch but use Ragu spaghetti sauce in obscene proportions.
I've burnt down or blown up 8 kettles, twice filling my house with poisonous fumes. I welded a skillet to on of my glass stove burners to the point where it is unusable now.
I buy garlic salt by the gallon.

If I didn't have to drive an hour to get there I'd eat at my favorite Chinese place every other day.

[Anonymous No.5548985]

>>5541688
So my peace Lilly is over watered, too cold and not enough sunlight.
Its hard when your room window faces south

[Anonymous No.5549513]

>>5541509
>All of my glassware is booze-related memorabilia.
> I live in a shit Southern town and buy tofu from Wal-Mart.
> I drink Taaka pretty frequently, because I'm always broke.
> Shiner Bock is my beer of choice.
> My wok is electric.
> I make Pasta Alfredo with Prego and baby spinach because it's affordable and makes it look like kind of a meal.
> I once got drunk before 10 am and made a burrito from Kroger tortillas, leftover hummus from a local Greek restaurant, and eggs scrambled in bacon grease.

[Anonymous No.5549704]

>whenever i buy stuff to make sandwiches, i almost inevitably just end up snacking on the individual ingredients and never actually make a sandwich

[Anonymous No.5549708]

>i haven't cooked anything in years

[Anonymous No.5549745]

> I cooked bacon with the barrel of an overheating rifle
> I cooked bacon with tannerite
> I cooked bacon with thermite

> I cook bacon with ridiculous firearms related things on a weekly basis and I am out of ideas

[Anonymous No.5549762]

>>5549745
what about a flamethrower

[Anonymous No.5550032]

>my mom bought me my first chefs knife
>it was a good, quality sharp knife
>its from daiso, a weeaboo dollar store
>she took it from me last week

i guess i have to blow $50 on a knife now

[Anonymous No.5550035]

>>5549745
Cook bacon by shooting tracer rounds at it?

[SENIOR BORRACHO No.5550042]

>>5549745
have you tased yet?