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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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5327446 No.5327446[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

Not only did my roommate use my fucking butter, but he got fucking bread crumbs in there too. There's nothing that pisses me off more. I'm fucking mad. I think someone used my peanut butter and my bread, too. Bunch of assholes.

So I came up with a solution: I'm going to put my dick in everything that's mine. Then when I find something has been stolen again I'm going to tell them my dick was in there. Fuckers.

>> No.5327451

Just keep food you don't want fucked with in your room, jesus

>> No.5327463
File: 38 KB, 960x720, Chihuahua.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5327463

why would you want to suck your own dick?

>> No.5327468

>>5327463
Assuming you shower regularly, it's not much different and probably cleaner than sticking your fingers in the butter.

>> No.5327470

>>5327463
Why wouldn't you? It's yours, you know where it's been, it's fine.

>> No.5327484

Don't forget to take pics anon, so you can show your roommate when he doesn't believe you.

>> No.5327488

>>5327446
theres worse things than crumbs in butter, try paying 9 bucks on chinese food and finding your shrimp loaded with feces

>> No.5327490

>>5327488
You talking about those dark stripes on your shrimps?

>> No.5327498

>>5327490
no im talking about the crumbly brown/green/black stuff completely loaded in the middle of each skwimp

>inb4 someone tells me its natural

>> No.5327507

>>5327488
>cheap chinese food
>seafood
You deserve everything you find in that shrimp anon.

>> No.5327512

>>5327446
>implying other dicks won't matter if in same foods since OP dick is first...

>> No.5327519

>>5327507
nigga the combo meal came with fried shrimp, what am i supposed to do

>> No.5327525

>>5327512
wat

>> No.5327527

>>5327484
Good idea

>> No.5327543

>>5327527
Make roommate suck your dick when in denial...its an indirect contact.

>> No.5327553

>>5327446
stupid mad

>> No.5327559
File: 12 KB, 250x170, TommyButter.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5327559

When I was breaking up with my girlfriend, I had the foresight to take a picture of her toothbrush stuck in my anus head first.
When she later slept with my friend*and I knew she fucking would*
We had a big row and I sent her the pic.
Felt sooooo good.
I suggest doing this for everyone who might piss you off later.

>> No.5327567

>>5327446
>I have autism
It's okay anon. You're safe here.

>> No.5327592

>>5327559
you sound like a retard

no wonder she fucked your friend

>> No.5327603

>>5327567
>mad that someone is stealing your food
>autism
That's a normal, evolved human response.
You're a fucking moron.

>> No.5327636

>>5327603
So is rape. Rational adults are able to sublimate these primitive emotions.

>> No.5327676

>>5327636
Having problems with a roommate is a little different than rape... One would think

Although your roommates probably buy your food since they're your parents

>> No.5327693

Wow, my only complaints about any of my roommates are the fact that one bought me fucking diet salt to replace the sea salt she accidentally spilled, and whoever is leaving eggshells and coffee filters in the sink. Not the garbage disposal, the sink.

Otherwise only one touches my food and I don't mind, if I need something out of her side of the fridge I'm free to use it.

>> No.5327712

>>5327693
My roommates fucks her boyfriend really loudly and there's only a wall between us. I think I'm going to buy an air horn

>> No.5327723

>>5327712
Why can't you just masturbate like a normal roomate?

>> No.5327724

>>5327712
People like this piss me off so fucking much, holy shit.

>> No.5327737
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5327737

>>5327712
I haven't had too much of that kind of issue since the one dormmate moved out. We don't have walls between the two 'rooms' in the dorm, it's an open loft. Which is nice when you want sunlight, but sucks when your drunk roommate decides to bring home a dude she found at the bus stop and have him stay the night.

>> No.5327772

...you don't actually have to put your dick in your own food to tell them you put your dick in your food.

>> No.5327797

>>5327724
People who fuck too loudly when others are around or people who are annoyed by it

>> No.5327801

>>5327723
They're ugly

>> No.5327856

>>5327446
>Fuckers.
Pot calling the kettle black much OP?

>> No.5327882

Why the fuck would you do something so fucking dumb just to -

why do i have an erection right now

>> No.5327894

>>5327882
Mmm, buttery erections...

>> No.5327895

>>5327801

have you no imagination?

>> No.5327911

>>5327895
No. That's why I have porn.

>> No.5327945

>>5327446

I got the weirdest boner I've had in a while

>> No.5327998

Move out and leave him to pay the rent by himself. Never speak to him again. That's the most appropriate response to butter pilfering and leaving crumbs.

>> No.5328748

>>5327559
>this guy's cool but he might not always be cool
>what if he starts acting like a dick?
>better shit all over his stuff just in case

This is why I hate people.

>> No.5328764

>>5328748
Quit being such a crybabby. I washed off the toothbrush after I took it out of my ass.

>> No.5328772

>>5328764
Not liking my stuff to be stuck up people's ass makes me a crybaby?

You sure have low expectations from people if you're okay with everyone wiping their butts on your things. Then again, you probably don't have much of a choice of who you get to hang out with.

>> No.5328822

>>5327446
what if your roommate likes the dick butter more then just the regular butter you don't want to wake up at like 4 in the morning with your roommate sticking your dick in yall butter

>> No.5329067
File: 24 KB, 500x500, 1396540087037.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5329067

>>5328822
Did someone say dickbutt?

>> No.5329637

>>5328822
he won't. he will be horrified

>> No.5329643
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5329643

best fucking thead for a while

>> No.5329710

>>5327446
How would you stick your dick in all of the bread? Seems like a hassle to take it out slice by slice

>> No.5329726

>>5329710
I don't think OP was planning on dicking the bread, just the butter.

>> No.5329745

A housemate used all my sauces and foil and stuff so I dealt with it by moving everything on top of the high cabinets where his manlet ass can't reach.

I mean, he can just pull a chair up (he doesn't though) but I figured this was the most insulting way I could go about preventing him taking my stuff without being a total dick.

>> No.5329755

>>5329745
He climbs up there when you are gone and penis everything.

>> No.5329757
File: 128 KB, 446x451, e_m0Trde1qz4rgp.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5329757

>>5329745

>> No.5329813

>>5327446
OP take a picture of you putting your dick in it too, just so they know you aren't joking

>> No.5329895

>>5329813
Picture?
Fuck that. Make a sandwich in front of them. Pretend you can't find a butterknife.
Spread mayo with penis.
No more trouble with them touching your stuff.

>> No.5330275

>>5329895
small dick anon detected

>> No.5331422

>>5330275
what are you implying

>> No.5331597

>>5327446
This is a solution, op.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYAwcT0tJx4

>> No.5331612

>Getting this anal about food when you live with room mates
My ex was over once when I lived with room mates, and made a PB&J sandwich (My bread/jam, room mate's peanut butter) and my room mate got her tits in a knot about it.

I even offered to just give her $5 for a whole new jar even though my ex had only made a single sandwich, and she was STILL super ass angered.

This is the same room mate who asked if she could "have a slice" of leftover pizza and her and her friends ate the entirety of the leftovers (One and a half pizzas, since they had a special and I got 2 for 1.).

How about, OP, you not be such an aspie, it's butter, the amount of butter that your room mate might have used in this case comes to what, about 10-20 cents max? Or, oh man, a whole sandwich, that's like 50 cents. Holy shit, somebody call the cops.

My point is, I bet even if OP's room mate offered to pay for what he used, OP wouldn't accept it and instead would come post on an image board about how shitty his room mates are.

>> No.5333396

>>5331612
maybe you shouldn't steal and people won't get mad at you

>> No.5333442 [DELETED] 

i poured the fine grain coffee and sugar mixture from the bottom of the cup all over my cock and had my girl suck it off. but not after first rubbing my dick all over the inside of the mug.

>> No.5333626
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5333626

>>5331597
That was hilarious ha

Would never buy though you'd look like a creep

>> No.5333753

I have a thing of lurpak. it has silvery foil packaging. My fucking dumbass room m8 puts it in the microwave because its apparently not spreadable

1. Foil in the microwave dumbass that fucked up my butter

2. Its fucking spreadable as shit

>> No.5333768

>>5331612
it was probably a girl thing
girl roommates always wanna pick a fight with guy roommmate's gfs

>>5333396
sounds like it was the status quo
>This is the same room mate who asked if she could "have a slice" of leftover pizza and her and her friends ate the entirety of the leftovers (One and a half pizzas, since they had a special and I got 2 for 1.).

>> No.5334166

>>5333768
>status quo
>you stole from me, so I'll steal from you! now we are both happy...

>> No.5334186

>roommates boyfriend does laundry at my house
That faggot can fuck off

>> No.5334417

>>5334186
if you suck his dick and your roommate finds out about it BAM! Presto! No more boyfriend coming around!

>> No.5334536

You guys do not know the pain of having roommates. I have the biggest fucking prick of a douchebag roommate ever. If he's not getting high, he's bringing chicks over, if he's not doing either of those things, he's stealing my shit or hocking it.

Last week he took a fire axe to my mini-fridge and destroyed everything in it. There's a whole fucking story behind that.

>> No.5334542

>>5329726
>>5329710
Fuck the bread. FUCK THE BREAAAAAAAD

>> No.5334545

>>5334536
wat

>>5334166
Well theres a difference, its one thing if you guys are both ok with sharing. That doesnt really seem to be the case though.

>> No.5334640
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5334640

I completely forgot what I was going to say ... roommate can be gay though

>> No.5334678
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5334678

I hate it when bread crumbs get in my honey.
Honey has a shelf life of like 100 years but bread only lasts a week at best so if bread crumbs end up in my honey I spit the rage of a thousand sunburned ball sacks on a hot park bench on a humid day.

>> No.5334963

>>5334678
Yeah well that too with like butter kind of

>> No.5335707

>>5334678
how does bread get in there don't you have a nozzle on it

>> No.5335734

>>5334536
tell the story

>> No.5335886

this thread is still here?

>> No.5335907

>>5335707
>>5335707
>using squeezy artificial honey flavored corn syrup
>2012+2

>> No.5335911

>>5335907
Pretty sure they can put real honey in squeeze bottles.

>> No.5336004

>>5335907
sorry I don't harvest honey from the forest and pack it into mason jars

>> No.5336020
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5336020

Idk how so you guys can live with terrible roommates

My roommate and I are money hating communists so we've literally never had a problem sharing food. He buys more groceries and I cook for us both more.

Find better people to live with, or at least live with people who you can get along with

>> No.5336050

>>5327468
but I don't suck my fingers

>> No.5336291 [DELETED] 

>>5336020
Yeah we cook for each other sometimes too but I don't like bread crumbs in my damn butter

>> No.5338248

What's healthier, butter or margarine?

>> No.5338256
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5338256

What the fuck are you talking about? There's nothing like some crispy bread crumbs in your soft, creamy, butter. Spread it on toast and get a double crunch or spoon some in your morning coffee. Man, I am going to do this right now. Thanks OP. You're still a fucking faggot though.

>> No.5338268

>>5327446
>Not only did my roommate use my fucking butter, but he got fucking bread crumbs in there too. There's nothing that pisses me off more. I'm fucking mad
You're so livid you decided to post about it on 4chan? I don't think your plan to avoid eye contact and give them the silent treatment will be noticed either, you socially retarded child.

>> No.5338345

>>5327519
is like mcdnodholes instead of fry with combo u get fry shrimp hahahahahha i love food

>> No.5338358
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5338358

>>5328772
>implying all people share one ass

>> No.5338364

>>5335907
it's 2014 dumbass

>> No.5338422

>>5338248
pls respond

>> No.5338426

>>5334536

>stealing my shit or hocking it

Right, and at what point did you knock the absolute shit out of him?

>> No.5339589

>>5338426
OBVIOUSLY HE IS FULL OF SHIT

>> No.5341063

why don't you just put your dick in all of your roommates food

>> No.5341200

>>5341063
because that would be wrong

>> No.5341255

>>5338248
>>5338422
Neither, they are the same in calories and fat

>> No.5341310

>>5341255
I thought margarine was supposed to be like diet butter or something

>> No.5341328

>at work
>have jam in the fridge
>weekend off
>3 quarters missing on monday
>add some vinegar
>they only touch it once more
Should have laced it with Ex-lax.

>> No.5341340

>>5341328
I need to do something like that to a bottle of my detergent. Maybe put a clove of garlic in there