/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.5196888]

OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T COOK THEIR OWN RICE

RICE COOKERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
-
OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T POP THEIR OWN POPCORN

POPCORN POPPERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
-
OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T BOIL THEIR OWN PASTA

PASTA COOKERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
-
OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T SEPARATE THEIR OWN EGGS

EGG SEPARATORS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
-
OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T MILL THEIR OWN GRAIN

GRAIN MILLERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.
-
OMG WHO THE FUCK IS SO LAZY THAT THEY CAN'T PULL THEIR OWN NOODLES

PASTA ROLLERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.

[Anonymous No.5196893]

Is there such a thing as a pasta boiling machine?

[Anonymous No.5196900]

Nice trips m8

[Anonymous No.5196897]

>>5196893
Because, I mean, if not, it would be totally worth it selling that. People pay money for rice cookers, it would sell.

[Anonymous No.5196899]

Is pasta good for gains?

[Anonymous No.5196905]

>le THCm

Simply epic :^)

[Anonymous No.5196909]

>>5196900
>>5196899

[Anonymous No.5196911]

noice

regards,

sweden

[Anonymous No.5196912]

>>5196899
>>5196888
>>5196909
Who is this?

[Anonymous No.5196913]

equisite thread

[Anonymous No.5196915]

You bet your ass Haraldur mills his own grain.

[Anonymous No.5196921]

eh was a reasonable rant up until the last 2.
Although as someone who washes and cooks rice almost everyday a rice cooker certainly effects the quality. It's easy to let your standards slip when something becomes routine. Although 80% of the white people who get rice cookers are just fucking stupid.

[Anonymous No.5196925]

MFW I have a $300 rice cooker

[Anonymous No.5196929]

>>5196913
>Posting my oc
noice

[Anonymous No.5196930]

Shut the fuck up about white people you fucking racist gook piece of shit.

Regards, whitest man in Iceland

[Anonymous No.5196938]

>>5196888

Goshdarned, a friend of mine was like that.
"Why do you need a rice cooker? You just put everything in a pot and wait!"

Yeah, well, that robs me of a hob and I have to check the time regularly so it won't burn

[Anonymous No.5196939]

>>5196921
>Although 80% of the white people who get rice cookers are just fucking stupid.
white person here, and i agree.

but i had a roommate who was indonesian, when he introduced me to the wonders of the rice cooker, i was amazed that i could make rice and the thing would keep it good to eat for fucking days without drying out. also washing rice was completely foreign to me.

i miss that rice cooker, ever since we stopped living together, making rice is a huge pain in the ass.

then on the other hand i have white friends who basically use a rice cooker like another pot, which i feel completely defeats the purpose

[Anonymous No.5196944]

>>5196893
Yes. They're called Stoves

They're very popular in Italy.

[Anonymous No.5196945]

Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own semen?

About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my semen in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.

I didn't notice much difference in flavour when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.

Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbour's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbour's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to encorporate it into my cooking again in secret.

My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavour for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.

I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.

[Anonymous No.5196947]

>>5196930
>chairsoft faggot

[Anonymous No.5196949]

>>5196944
Pay the debts you fucking pasta nigger

[Anonymous No.5196951]

>>5196938
>check time regularly

You see if it's boiling, turn it to low and then leave for 20 minutes (white rice) or an hour (brown rice)

[Anonymous No.5196955]

>>5196951

Yeah, well, sure. It'll always be exactly 20 or 60 minutes.
Nah, man, rice cookers, that's where it's at, man, they give you rice and it'll be neat and everything and you just plug them in and BAM, it'll do whatever you want it to do as long as whatever you want it to do is cook your rice. And steam things. That works, too.

[Anonymous No.5196958]

>>5196938
>check time regularly so it won't burn
that's why you keep it on very low heat after you bring it to a boil. i never understand how people have such an issue with rice

>rice and water in pot
>boil
>lower heat, cover, simmer for ~20-25 minutes

and even if you leave it on the heat afterwards, it's pretty fucking difficult to burn it in my experience.

[Anonymous No.5196961]

>>5196947
say that to my chin bitch not online

see what happens

[Anonymous No.5196972]

>>5196958

I never had issues with rice except for one time in a shared kitchen and everybody in there was pissing me off and standing in my way. But a rice cooker is so much more convenient because you can just let it sit there for, I don't know, HOURS and it'll be good and nice and warm.

[Anonymous No.5196974]

>>5196972
>But a rice cooker is so much more convenient because you can just let it sit there for, I don't know, HOURS and it'll be good and nice and warm.
you can do the exact same thing on a stovetop.

i agree that rice cookers are useful, but not with your reasoning.

[Anonymous No.5196976]

>>5196974

That works on a stovetop too? Wow, never knew. Neat.

[Anonymous No.5196988]

>>5196939
yeah if you're going to make rice a staple grain in your diet can't go wrong with a good Asian rice cooker. You can still make great rice without one assuming you know how to not over or under abraise your rice when washing it. But one more appliance for something most households have maybe 2 times a week tops is just sad.

[Anonymous No.5196994]

>5196945
>Puts semen in mother's food
>I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.
>respectable

[Anonymous No.5196996]

>>5196976
well a rice cooker will allow the rice to stay good for longer (i've eaten 2 day old rice out of one that still tasted like it was just made), but you can keep a pot of rice on low heat on the stovetop for quite some time.

when you think about it, all a rice cooker really is, is an insulated pot on a burner.

>>5196988
>But one more appliance for something most households have maybe 2 times a week tops is just sad.
this is my main issue with people buying these. they're great, but only if you use them regularly. also, it might be because i was using an old/cheap one, but the only rice cooker i've ever had was a pain in the ass to clean as well.

[Anonymous No.5197006]

>>5196996
>when you think about it, all a rice cooker really is, is an insulated pot on a burner.

Yeah, but it's got teflon and it automatically switches from "cook that rice" to "warm that rice" and everything!
Then again, if mine hasn't been a gift, I'd probably never gotten one because as you said, it's kind of like a pot on a stovetop

[Anonymous No.5197007]

>>5196994
>not recognizing pasta
>failing to quote
>unnecessary greentext
>that image

just stop

[Anonymous No.5197019]

>>5197006
i had one without teflon. or maybe the teflon was just worn out because it was so old. in any case, that shit was more difficult to clean than any pot i've ever owned.

[Anonymous No.5197027]

>>5197019

For me, it's a breeze. I'll just run a wet paper towel through that rice cooker pot and it's good to go again. It's fantastic. Some Asian magic's going on there

[Anonymous No.5197034]

>>5196945

[Anonymous No.5197041]

>>5197034
Thread was pure crap anyway, I might as well start to dump it.

[Anonymous No.5197046]

page 2 is blank.

[Anonymous No.5197050]

[Anonymous No.5197052]

>>5197046
>you know who you are
I don't think they could ever forget

[Anonymous No.5197054]

>>5197050
>semen is inexpensive to produce

how exactly is it not free?

[Anonymous No.5197056]

If you want the page listing thing just download the torrent already, there is a .pdf too.

[Anonymous No.5197060]

>>5197054
Well you have to feed yourself, spend time wanking and there is a limited supply. Unless you want to contact outside suppliers.

[Anonymous No.5197064]

>>5197060
i don't even want to know how easily i could go on craigslist and find someone to supply me with free semen

>>5197056
>no animal proteins

[Anonymous No.5197066]

I'm the guy who scanned it and made the torrent btw.

[Anonymous No.5197067]

Can you buy semen from sperm banks?

[Anonymous No.5197075]

>Make regular pasta with tomato sauce
>invite friends
>place natural harvest open on page with "pasta with tomato and cum sauce"
>lulz will happen

[Anonymous No.5197082]

[Anonymous No.5197085]

I'm gonna go to bed eventually, can someone DL the torrent to finish the dump?

[Anonymous No.5197089]

i'm so happy i came to /ck/ today

>>5197082
>semen lumps are not a stylish addition to this soothing drink

doesn't that kinda go against

>>5197075
this drink's entire premise?

[Anonymous No.5197093]

>>5196994
>responding to b8
>not using double arrows for the link

[Anonymous No.5197096]

[Anonymous No.5197102]

>>5197089
Strings of lumpy dickjuice in the drink are worse than a little plopping of semen on the top.

[Anonymous No.5197107]

>>5197089
>this drink's entire premise?
No, there are real main dish in the book, like pasta or whatever.
There is a second one with cocktails from the same author.

[Anonymous No.5197110]

[Anonymous No.5197113]

[Anonymous No.5197118]

There we are, actual food.

[Anonymous No.5197122]

[Anonymous No.5197131]

[Anonymous No.5197155]

People lurking?

[Anonymous No.5197159]

>>5197066

OH COME THE FUCK ON JESUS CHRIST

[Anonymous No.5197160]

>>5197155
oh yes

>>5197122
>>5197118
this one really threw me for a loop. here i was thinking it was going to be oysters covered in semen, but nope it's just oyster shells as a vessel for semen!

[Anonymous No.5197162]

>>5197155
Lurking and gagging.

[Anonymous No.5197171]

>>5197122
>>5197131
>>5197155

I'm fucking out, man, that's just too much. That's too fucking much. There are lines, you know, and that guy, that chef that says that those drinks are fucking great to experiment with and MAYBE FUCKING REPLACE THE STRAWBERRIES WITH KIWIS BUT DON'T YOU DARE TO CHANGE THE SEMEN THAT'S INTEGRAL
Oh my fucking god

[Anonymous No.5197174]

[Anonymous No.5197187]

>>5197171
>Can't handle cum based recipes
What the fuck are you doing on 4chan anyway?

[Anonymous No.5197193]

>>5197171
Worse still, some asshole is making money selling this "cookbook" while most guys just jerk off all day.

Maybe I should write a cookbook where all the recipes contain poop. Probably sell on the internet.

[Anonymous No.5197196]

>>5197187

This thread on /ck/ of all the boards available actually makes me question that.

[Anonymous No.5197197]

[Anonymous No.5197206]

>>5197197
Definitely not a vegan cookbook, is it.

[Anonymous No.5197210]

>>5197193
Poop is bad to eat, try breast milk based recipes.

[Anonymous No.5197216]

>>5197210
Didn't say I was planning on making - or ffs trying - any of the recipes. >.>

[Anonymous No.5197220]

>>5197193
That would probably sell, if only from people writing about it. I'm not into that (I know that piss could replace any vinegar and lemon/lime juice though.)
Open a thread on >>>/b/ or >>>/d/ to ask what it taste like, then open a thread here to get fucking rich.

[Anonymous No.5197239]

>>5197210
OMFG, this is fucking genius.
A human milk, piss and shit based recipe book. This would definitely sell.
Just do like this book and add/replace an ingredient of a classic recipe.

[Anonymous No.5197244]

>>5197220
Step 1: Find out what poop tastes like.
Step 2: Make up recipes that could contain poop.
Step 3: Make elaborate website extolling the virtues of cooking with poop.
Step 4: ????
Step 5: Profit!

[Anonymous No.5197255]

[Anonymous No.5197279]

[Anonymous No.5197287]

[SadMotherfucker !!bMMLLF4HPrR No.5197294]

>>5197050
>Mentions Sweden, Australia, and Britain

Well, he knows his audience. Even threw in a token non-white country to calm their privilege-checking impulse.

[Anonymous No.5197296]

>>5197239

I think milk, urine and blood would be a better idea as all of them are safe to consume for the person that...gave them.

[Anonymous No.5197312]

>>5197075
>Coagulated anything

[SadMotherfucker !!bMMLLF4HPrR No.5197316]

>>5197296
In China some people make "tea eggs" with the urine of young boys instead of tea and soy sauce.

Hard boiled egg, put a bunch of cracks in the shell, then soak in a slow cooker of urine.

Blood and milk would be much easier to stomach IMO since we eat animal blood and milk anyway.

Does anyone cook with semen or urine from animals?

[Anonymous No.5197324]

>>5196888
this

rinse rice
boil and salt water
add rice
strain when it's soft

[Anonymous No.5197328]

>>5197324
>>5197324
>strain
what the actual fuck

[Anonymous No.5197330]

>>5197312
You know that scrambled eggs are coagulated albumen, right?

[Anonymous No.5197334]

>>5197328
yes
pour everything in the pot through a strainer so that you have rice without the rice water

[Anonymous No.5197340]

>>5197328
That's how it's done in some cultures. My mother cooks rice this way as did my dad's mother and they're from two different cultures.

[Anonymous No.5197344]

>>5197324

He doesn't know the correct water to rice ratio.

[SadMotherfucker !!bMMLLF4HPrR No.5197349]

>>5197344
A rice cooker would help with that.

[Anonymous No.5197358]

>>5197340
what countries are they from?

>>5197344
>water-to-rice ratio
what

>>5197349
but my rice comes out perfect every time

[Anonymous No.5197372]

>>5196888
All but the last two (which are utter bullshit) are perfectly accurate. What's your point?

[Anonymous No.5197381]

>>5197358

>what

It's 1:2 (rice:water)

[Anonymous No.5197386]

>>5197358
Mother: Switzerland/Italy
Grandmother: Lebanon

[SadMotherfucker !!bMMLLF4HPrR No.5197388]

>>5197358
So does the rice i make in my cooker, and it's less trouble.

>Put in rice/water according to clear guides

>Turn on

>When rice is done, it automatically switches to lower heat to keep it warm and not dry it out

[Anonymous No.5197423]

>need rice cooker to cook rice

What the fuck are you? Chinese? Why the hell would you eat so much rice that you'd need a cooker for it...

>Let's spend $100 for something that i'll use twice in a month and it's useless because i can cook rice in a pot too

[SadMotherfucker !!bMMLLF4HPrR No.5197431]

>>5197423
I spent about ~20 bucks and i use it ~5 times per week.

I admit buying one of those weaboo space-magic rice cookers for 100 or more bucks is retarded if you're not in love with rice.

[Anonymous No.5197433]

>>5197423

>100$

[Anonymous No.5197437]

>>5197381

If you want porridge maybe.

[Anonymous No.5197442]

>>5197437

>implying

[Anonymous No.5197444]

>>5197381
I just pour enough water until it covers the rice and leaves room for boil. If I need more I add more

[Anonymous No.5197447]

>>5196925
I love my expensive rice cooker. This is just some poor fag thread. OP probably started a Top Ramen and hot dog thread elsewhere.

[Anonymous No.5197448]

>>5197423
I eat rice at least 3 times a week and I've never had one

[Anonymous No.5197454]

>>5197423
There are two Asian guys in my dorm, both of them have rice cookers and they are literally on every day. You wouldn't believe how much rice some people eat, and it seems to be extremely convenient.

Start up the rice cooker, put some chicken in the oven at low heat, go to study, return when it's all done and eat.

[Anonymous No.5197458]

>>5196888
>PASTA COOKERS DON'T SAVE YOU ANY TIME, FAG. YOU JUST WASTED YOUR GODDAMN MONEY. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MACHINE TO DO SOMETHING SO EASY.

Pasta cookers make cheap deep friers retard

[Anonymous No.5197464]

>>5196958
Everytime I try to make rice and I put the lid once I turn down the heat, even if I wait, the water overboils and bubbles out from under the lid. Does my stove just run too hot?

[Anonymous No.5197485]

>>5197464

You are heating your water up too quickly probably. If you use med-hi, drop it down to med

>or buy a rice cooker

[Anonymous No.5197487]

>>5197464
Leave the lid half on and don't boil so quickly

[Anonymous No.5198080]

>>5197316
Good point, blood too. Shit is probably probably unsafe, it contains like 50% (in volume) of bacteria.

[Anonymous No.5198084]

[Anonymous No.5198085]

I usually cook my rice in a pressure cooker by just bringing it up to pressure and then shutting off the heat and leaving it. I put some tofu/tempeh/cooked beans and greens in there at the same time. I do the same with pasta. It can still be al dente if I add the correct amount of water.

[Anonymous No.5198110]

[Anonymous No.5198111]

[Anonymous No.5198119]

>>5197334
>so that you have rice without the rice water
or, you know, cook your rice correctly so that there's no "rice water" to begin with

[Anonymous No.5198122]

>>5197388
literally the only part of that which could be considered more convenient is switching from high heat to low heat. and that's an extremely small convenience at best. not nearly as convenient as freeing up an extra burner, anyway.

[Anonymous No.5198125]

>>5197464
use a bigger pot? if your stove is too hot, the bottom layer of rice will likely burn to the bottom of the pot.

[Anonymous No.5198132]

[Anonymous No.5198138]

Anyone lurking my pics or you guys are back to a rice 101?

[Anonymous No.5198142]

>>5198138
that looks like some pretty bad bbq sauce. i don't think even semen can save that.

[Anonymous No.5198158]

[Anonymous No.5198159]

>>5198142
I agree, but do you have a recipe that would accommodate semen better?

[Anonymous No.5198165]

[Anonymous No.5198178]

>>5198159
>do you have a recipe that would accommodate semen better?
touché

[Anonymous No.5198182]