Valentine's Dinner for Sweet Overlord?

[Bound2 No.5190188]

What would you make our handsome hero to show him how much you care?
I'd make a salmon or tuna poke with wonton crackers to eat it with.
Then, a rich and brothy fish soup with fresh herb and citrus garnish.
Afterwards, a cashew cheesecake with strawberry heart details.
Optional: a hand massage with cup of tea

[Anonymous No.5190331]

cup of ramen and mountain dew ice cream

[Anonymous No.5190336]

>>5190188
A cup of piss

[Anonymous No.5190368]

this year i'm planning:
>steak. still trying to figure out how to cook it
>maybe bernaise or steak sauce but my boyfriend eats like a picky 8 year old. maybe not
>garlic mashed potatoes. alternatively thinking about making a potato cake
>sauteed broccolini
>molten chocolate cake for dessert

would /ck/ be happy with this?

[Anonymous No.5190371]

>>5190368
Yes, let him stick in your pooper/give him the v aftetwards though

[Anonymous No.5190377]

Bag of Doritos, mountain dew, and a chili cheese burrito.

[Anonymous No.5190444]

>>5190188
I would invite him to go to Chipotle Mexican Grill™ with me so we could have some delicious burritos made with locally sourced non GMO ingredients at low prices.

[Anonymous No.5190447]

>>5190371
already planning on it
also bringing him cookies

[Anonymous No.5190467]

He'll be eating Boxxy's pussy all night long

[Anonymous No.5191130]

Fried cheese sticks
chicken with jalapenos
giga puddi

[Anonymous No.5191198]

>>5190377
GOD BLESS AMURRIKA

[Anonymous No.5191216]

>>5190188

[Anonymous No.5191231]

>>5191198
FUCK YEAAAA

[Anonymous No.5191236]

>>5191216
NSFW
http://xhamster.com/movies/900735/cum_omelette.html

Not safe for anyone. Beware.

[Anonymous No.5191244]

>>5190368
I don't like sauces on steak, it is good without one making it all soggy. I would prefer a twice baked potato instead-easy on the garlic for when the moot smoochies begin. No one want's their dick to reek of garlic the next day. The broccolini sounds good. Drink a good wine, maybe a Malbec or something. I am not a fan of molten chocolate cake, it usually just tastes raw in the center. However, a brownie sundae (brownie with ice cream sundae fixin's)with homemade warm caramel drizzled over top.

[SadMotherfucker !!bMMLLF4HPrR No.5191253]

>>5190188

Half a packet of ramen, and a lemon water to drink. I'd look away while he ate so he wouldn't feel fat.

[Anonymous No.5191395]

>>5190368
I think your SO would enjoy it more if you cook the meal together. It's like foreplay

[Anonymous No.5192390]

Chili dogs with cheese
French frieds with cold ketchup

grape drank

Captcha: its rednect

[Anonymous No.5192398]

scallops on a spinach bed with hollandaise

fuckin god tier shit

[bookcook No.5193478]

Nothing less than lobster tail for Our Dear Leader.

His choice of sides, flourless chocolate cake with drunk raspberries for dessert.

[Anonymous No.5193484]

>>5191216

[Anonymous No.5193610]

>>5193478
How do you make this flourless chocolate cake?
Can it be eggless?

[bookcook No.5193634]

>>5193610
It's essentially a custard, so no. Eggs are a big deal in this dessert. Because it's for Valentine's Day, you should definitely splurge and get the fresh farmer's market ones to avoid sad, limp yolks.

[Anonymous No.5193661]

>>5191198

[Anonymous No.5193691]

i'd make him eggybread

[Anon No.5194708]

>>5190336

>you rang, sir.

[Anonymous No.5195676]

>mfw loving holiday captchas
I just wanna drink his bathwater.

I'd make tortilla soup and fresh chips.
and virgin margaritas!

[Anonymous No.5195700]

I know moot hangs out on this board, so every time I see a moot thread I assume it's posted by moot

hi moot

[Anonymous No.5195709]

>>5195700
He posted on /cgl/ yesterday. Some girl was saying she wanted to marry him and he was like 'oh yeah' or something like that. I cant remember.

[Anonymous No.5195712]

>>5195709
In all my years on this internet tundra, the only moot thread I've ever participated in is the one he posted here after the KFC double down was released.

At least, I think that was him.

[Anonymous No.5195721]

>Invite moot over
>He comes to the door with flowers
>Open the door, turn around and walk back to the kitchen
>moot walks in
>"Take your shoes off. I don't want my floor covered in dirt"
>"S-s-sorry"
>We both walk into the kitchen, I grab the flowers and put them in a 7-11 Iron Man slurpee cup with water in it
>They're very nice flowers. Must have purchased them with 4chan Pass bucks
>He's standing there, looking at the kitchen chair. His knees are shaking from nervousness
>"Sit down. What do you want to drink?"
>"D-do you have Coke?"
>I reach into the fridge and grab a Pepsi. I hand it to him. He says nothing but a tear rolls down his face.
>"Dinner will be ready soon. I hope you brought your appetite."
>"T-that's not the only thing I b-brought!" moot says, pulling out his special edition Final Fantasy IV Game Boy Micro with a copy of Fairly Odd Parents: Breakin' Da Rules
>I shake my head in disgust. moot sees this and sheepishly puts it away. He's shaking so hard he spills his Pepsi Coke on his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt
>"Clean it up" I say as I throw him a cloth
>"Sorry, I didn't mean too!" moot says as he gets on the floor and cleans it up. I spy his $2 eBay sexy panties just above his cargo pants
>Food is just about done. moot throws the cloth in the hamper
>Serve up some burgers and some tater tots, his favorite
>"Y-you remembered!" he says, almost bursting into tears
>I nod my head as I eat my burger, served rare
>After dinner we head into the living room. moot pulls a burnt DVD with episodes of Annoying Orange on it out of his neon green and pink fanny pack
>I say no and put Gundam Wing in the player instead
>While watching the show, I put my arm around moot and grab his third nipple
>He screams and says he isn't ready to lose his nipple virginity just yet
>He runs out and drives away in his PT Cruiser
>Go back to watching Gundam Wing

[Anonymous No.5195725]

>>5195712
For a while he started a lot of tea threads

[Anonymous No.5195727]

>>5195721
I don't know what the point of this is, but 8/10

[Bound2 No.5195744]

>>5195721
10/10 fanfic
is it food related for me to do one too?

[Anonymous No.5195942]

moot would like brownie waffles

[Anonymous No.5195959]

>be total retard in the world of cooking
>this one fine moot I wanna slam says he likes it when guys cook for him
>decide now is my time
>set up a time for him to come over to my place
>gonna cook him a romantic dinner and shit
>he seems excited
>a bit before he comes over I fly to /ck/
>learn what I can in 30 minutes about cooking
>decide I know enough and wanna boil some soup
>hell fucking yeah
>go over to the market and get four of their finest cans of soup
>read somewhere online to bring a chill-chest to keep the soup in
>do just that
>walk around the store with my delicious soupy friends in their new chilly home
>don't know how dumb I look
>bring them home
>have a bit of time before mootles comes over
>decide to make some copypasta as an appetizer
>read somewhere that as a fun family game you can put coins inside pasta and have people break them open
>think I'm gonna get lucky so I put a condom in his
>lol I'm so suave
>he arrives
>tell him I'm just about to boil the soup
>he's obviously unfamiliar with the high art of boiling
>inform it must be done while they're alive
>he's really upset
>assure him they feel no pain
>put two of 'em in a pot of water
>want them to boil quickly so put flame on high
>leave the kitchen so we can chat it up on the couch
>a few minutes pass
>present him with the pasta
>tell him to break his open for a surprise wink wink
>he does
>nothing in his
>take a big chomp of mine
>the most disgusting taste of rubber and plastic fills my mouth
>jesus christ it baked into the spagheeti
>what was I thinking
>high pitched screaming coming from kitchen

[Anonymous No.5195962]

>he freaks the fuck out
>asks if the soups are screaming
>say "if you were being boiled alive, wouldn't you?"
>why the fuck did I say that
>smoke starts coming from kitchen
>oh fuck
>remember I left the paper bag with the other two soups near the burner
>fly in there
>water is on a rapid fucking boil sending hot ass water everywhere
>paper bag is on fire
>oh fuck
>only one soup is ash
>there were two
>where the fuc-
>one of the soups is clear in the hell on the other side of the kitchen
>it's rolling around to avoid flame and boiling water
>mootiekins starts screaming
>run up to can
>stomp on it
>I'm wearing my cleats
>soup goes everyewhere
>mertles stops screaming
>the room is covered in spaghetti and soup
>he just looks horrified
>look over to him
>decide to just go for it and say "bon appetit, wanna fuck?"
>he slaps me and leaves a turd in my toilet
>tells all his friends who tell all my friends
>the chins now call me chef boy-r-dumb

raptor jesus fucking christ

[Anonymous No.5196009]

>>5190188
menstrual blood cookies
natural harvest

[Anonymous No.5196010]

>>5195712
I've been in threads where he was in /r9k/ and /adv/ I think. It was kind cool. He should do that again.

[Anonymous No.5196029]

I would make mootykins a rich and sweet chocolate cake. <3

[Anonymous No.5196041]

>>5195712
That wasn't him. Although, he did start a tea thread.

So, what I really want to give moot is knuckle sandwich served with tea.

[Anonymous No.5196046]

>>5196041
how about some hertz donuts?

[Anonymous No.5196081]

>>5191395
cooking together in a small kitchen is not my idea of a romantic gesture. It is more of a form of torture and me saying "you're not doing it right".

[Anonymous No.5196183]

>>5196046
Anon, what is a hertz donut?

[Anonymous No.5196369]

>>5196081
Basically this.
Unless you like angry sex, this is a bad idea.
Imagine how heated it would get if they accidentally fucked up your knife or scraped the teflon pan with a metal utensil.

[Anonymous No.5196798]

>>5190188
Do you guys think Moot posts on /ck/ as annonymous? I know he likes /ck/ but every time he posts as Moot a shitstorm flares up. I bet he comes here anon.

[Anonymous No.5196941]

>>5196798
I hope so.
Moot, I would make you the best chili you've ever had. Not too spicy.
I'd also make homemade horchata and jalepeno cornbread.

[SadMotherfucker !!bMMLLF4HPrR No.5197141]

>>5196798
There's such a shitstorm, I'd have to think he posts anonymously sometimes. He said in the last Q & A that he is on 4chan every day, way more than any of us is.
Also, i think he likes "moot" written all in lowercase.

I don't know how the fuck google expected me to solve this captcha

[Anonymous No.5197148]

>>5196798
>I know he likes /ck/ but every time he posts as Moot a shitstorm flares up.

No, it doesn't. I think /ck/ is one of the few boards that just treats him as the normalfag that he is (minus some ass kissing here and there). The threads only starts getting shitty once somebody links to it from a more popular and cancerous board.

[SadMotherfucker !!bMMLLF4HPrR No.5197150]

>>5197141
sorry, there's such a shitstorm every time he posts under "moot"

[Anonymous No.5197232]

>>5192398
that scallop crust

[Autistic Tom No.5197245]

>>5197148
Maybe not a full blown shitstorm on /ck/, but you can't deny that he stirs up unwarranted attention with his trip on. As in if he makes a thread everyone on /ck/ will reply to it, and if he makes a comment in a thread everyone will reply to the comment. I'm sure he respects our board and culture here and posts anonymously pretty often. I remember hearing somewhere that he said /ck/ was his favorite board.

[Anonymous No.5197264]

>>5197245
I sometimes wonder if moot has ever personally trolled me (or anyone else for that matter) as Anon.

[Anonymous No.5197284]

>>5190188
I'd buy him a couple of beers and ask him about stuff and then let him be on his way as he is a busy man with important work to do.

[Anonymous No.5197987]

>>5197245
Tripfag
>>5197141
Namefag

All idiots

[SadMotherfucker !!bMMLLF4HPrR No.5198362]

>>5197987
I think you have those terms switched around