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/ck/ - Food & Cooking


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File: 322 KB, 800x640, FlippingThePasta.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5142188 No.5142188 [Reply] [Original]

Pic not related - that two handed stuff looks weak.

I like giving a couple quick one handed flips while reaching for a beer - chicks melt

>> No.5142195

Wait untill you get 18... chicks DIG adults!

>> No.5142197

>>5142188
cutting without looking, like ramsay does is cool too
large flames from grease or alcohol are impressive

>> No.5142198

wow, so chef, just like tv

I find that making my food taste really good is the best kitchen trick.

>> No.5142202

tfw: you get the perfect balance of dark chocolate and ruffies at the end of a great meal and she doesn't even know what hit her.

>> No.5142220

>>5142195
>>5142198

Seriously? Never?

I dig it when I catch a chick's eyes across her chardonnay while I'm laughing at some well timed joke and mincing an onion, my fingertips a hairsbreadth away from danger if not for my modified claw. She's into me and my cool tricks.

I suppose it is better when the food tastes good. First she just want to fool around, but after the meal she wants my babies.

>> No.5142225

>>5142197

Right? Flames are good.

I remember a Cosby Show (38 here) where Dr Huxtable kept all these covered pots of water boiling and one saucepan of jarred tomato sauce. He'd lift the covers and throw spices in and do his Jello Pudding Pop face and you know he was getting a piece of Mrs. H that night. And it's WAY harder to get a piece with your own wife.

>> No.5142239

>>5142197
dangerous as fuck son

>> No.5142247

>>5142220
>I dig it when I catch a chick's eyes
>dig it
>chick
Are you a time traveler from some decade that should've been left buried?

>> No.5142253

>>5142197
>large flames from grease or alcohol are impressive
>large flames from grease

>starting a grease fire to impress women

>> No.5142266

>>5142253
Don't worry, my sink isn't too far from where I cook just in case something goes wrong.

>> No.5142283

>>5142266
Oh, you're trolling. I thought you were serious this entire thread!

6/10 mate.

>> No.5142280

>>5142253
bitches love burning houses it always gets em... Hot

>> No.5142288

>>5142266
Water + kitchen fire?
I bet you make crystals out of ammonia and bleach too.

>> No.5142330
File: 22 KB, 400x291, Simpsons Steamed Hams.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5142330

>>5142188
>Ho ho ho, trying to impress them with pan tossing.

What the ladies dig is recipes with style and class.

>> No.5142331

>>5142253
This one got me chuckling.

>>5142280
This one got it to a strong laugh.

>>5142288
Was actually out of breath. Sides actually hurt.

but, I am high. So..

>> No.5142335

>>5142280

My house is concrete and tin roof, so don't worry.

And I wasn't being serious, I think cooking good food, for example a home made pasta from egg and flour with a real tomato sauce is impressive to the layperson but just mmeh to a half decent cook (If I may yank my own chain), but he said he wanted ideas for cool things to do so I suggested fire and disregard for safety, maybe he'll get them both at the same time and drop the pan grease on his abercrombie hoodie. I don't give a fuck.

>> No.5142345

>>5142330
From the either unaware anons or the anons who haven't been able to impress the ladies in the kitchen (whether or not you can do it at the table I guess doesn't matter), you are either doing something wrong, are horribly bad looking, have the personality of the wet dishtowel you keep using by mistake to take something out of the oven (Shit! That's hot! (Teehee, that chef keeps doing that!)), or the ladies around you have been around to many awesome chefs like me.

Or, it's something else.

>> No.5142350

>>5142188
Making banana faster with the flames is an insta panty dropper.

>> No.5142351

>>5142335
I guess I'm waaayyy off on my thinking. I'd say most ladies a couple drinks in, around the counter, would be oohing and aahing if you mounded up some flour, made a well, and dropped an egg in. Sure, any read deal cook wouldn't be "impressed," but almost everyone would think it was totally fancy. Am I that wrong?

>> No.5142357

>>5142350

Yes. And winking and eye and muttering "insta panty dropper" to your buddy while you do it is boss.

>> No.5142365

>>5142351
This. Pretty much, as long as it looks like you know what you're doing, you're on the right track. It's all about the confidence, whether it's in life or cooking.

That being said, a man who can tame fire AND cook good shit with said fire gets those panties dropping faster.

>> No.5142373

>>5142357
>implying I just don't have a panty fetish where i have to take them off when preparing food

In all reality, after a nice date night, and half drunk, it's a show that could get you lucky. Worked for my while when we dated like six years ago.

>> No.5142378

>>5142351
No, that's what I think too, and for example my ahjm.. girlfriend is jealous if I cook for other women.
But you won't deny the beauty of a nice flambé. The grease fire or chopping your fingers off was just me being an asshole.

>> No.5142385

>>5142365
>>5142373
>>5142378

Okay. Back on track again.

Toasting any sort of spices. Even sesame seeds. Except when the pepper vapors start hitting throats and all the guests start hacking.

>> No.5142388

>>5142345
I bet they were mighty impressed by your autism

>in b4 *tips fedora*

>> No.5142392

>>5142247
haha, the guys a fucken rookie anyway

>She's into me and my cool tricks
>She's into me and my cool tricks
>She's into me and my cool tricks
>She's into me and my cool tricks

I lol'd heartily, this thread is ridiculous

>> No.5142405

>>5142385
Oh, and forgot to add, if you have a good sweets recipe, especially a chocolate recipe under your sleeve... it can be anything from your saving grace to a clincher.

I used to make this dark chocolate marquise-mousse tart thing with macerated cherries. The game's over after that.

>> No.5142422

How do I toss with a cast iron pan?

>> No.5142432

>>5142422

you need to practice your alone time activities to bulk up your forearms.

>> No.5142433

>>5142422
Get stronger forearms. Or get a smaller cast iron.

>> No.5142434

>>5142422

Not gonna happen, assuming you mean a regular old cast iron pan, like a skillet. We've got a cast iron pan that's more like a crepe pan, and you can toss with that.

You need a lip, essentially, and no corners.

>> No.5142441

>>5142405

Of course. Nice.

I suppose pulling out a torch for the creme brulees would work.

Oh, shit, and the one that you'd never think would work is the steel. It's tricky because you almost MUST be talking to someone while you use it. Otherwise some wiseguy tries to undercut you and score your women.

>> No.5142500

>>5142202
This. Dark chocolate hides the bitter taste of crushed benzos perfectly. You can hide up to 10mg of xanax in just a couple of ounces of dark chocolate Pot de creme.

>> No.5142931

>>5142188

I've always wondered if I could pull off pizza tossing. Almost seems too douchey.

>> No.5143007

>>5142931
I tried it once in a dorm kitchen with some other people around. I was actually pulling it off but I stopped because I felt like a douche.

>> No.5143141

>>5143007

I knew it.

>> No.5143150

>>5142220
>my fingertips a hairsbreadth away from danger if not for my modified claw

What the fuck, you have a claw?

>> No.5143198

>>5143150

I think he's referring to Gordon Ramsey's onion-cutting video where he tells you to hold it in this position that makes your hand kind of like a claw. You brace the flat of the knife against a certain part of your finger to keep it from cutting you or some shit.

>> No.5143326

>>5143198

http://www.eastpennsd.org/teacherpages/bealann/downloads/Dicing%20tips.pdf

>> No.5143341

>>5143150
>>5143198
no mang, he actually has a specially modified claw to chop onions with, like Captn hook that could change his hook to a fork or a cigar holder.

>> No.5143462

>>5143198
I'm thinking that this is him.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/chef-eduardo-garcia-bionic-hand-stop-21338603