[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking


View post   

File: 129 KB, 207x293, LuckyCharms_Box[1].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5122050 No.5122050[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

So I'm trying to adjust my diet to fit a limited budget and one of the first things I want to cut out is Lucky Charms. Problem is I eat Lucky Charms not because I particularly care for the taste but because something in it makes me shit extremely well. Ordinarily my shit is very sparse because I don't eat a lot. Regardless of diet, my shit isn’t anything to brag about and even hurts sometimes coming out. It’s not like an unhealthy black shit, but the sort of shit that's just lumpy and not outstandingly shaped or sized. Lucky Charms, on the other hand, has the opposite effect. I could eat anything I want over the course of a few days but as long as I eat Lucky Charms that climactic shit will always be completely perfect. Long, smooth, flawless, fine odor, generally the sort of shit you'd expect from a healthy intestine. It doesn’t clog the toilet, it doesn’t need more than one wipe, it isn’t mushy or malformed, it never breaks apart. These are some seriously Grade-A shits. More satisfyingly it’s a long, single shit like a python smoothly sliding out of my anus. I don’t know much about Guinness but if I sent in a photo of one of these I might actually approach some kind of record, at least as far as sheer length is concerned. I have never, ever had a Lucky Charms shit where I had to twist, turn or strain simply because of how easily I can eek it out of my butt.

Now I want to get Lucky Charms out of my diet, but at the same time I want to retain these leprechaun-blessed magnificent shits. I looked over the ingredients package and its all food coloring and other garbage I can't begin to infer; there’s nothing I could look for in other foods to narrow down another, cheaper source of shit-fuel. Even I would think that Lucky Charms is horrible for you but these masterfully-crafted shits have convinced me otherwise. Anyone here know what I mean or at least know enough about breakfast cereal to help me out?

>> No.5122055
File: 37 KB, 833x768, that feel.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5122055

I feel your pain. Its called having the 'rabbit shits'
Its the fiber in the cereal that your guts love.
Switch to Cheerios or some other whole grain/bran flaked sort of cereal, and your shits will be back to normal in no time.

>> No.5122060
File: 548 KB, 255x184, 1390290285375.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5122060

>> No.5122064

Eat lentils, they're cheap and they're good for your bum. Carrots are good too.

>> No.5122088
File: 521 KB, 2400x1507, freedomofchoice.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5122088

>>5122050
quit all industrialised junk, as all of them are packed with flavorings, colorings and conservants, and in most cereals full of salf and PACKED with sugar.

as already said, seek fiber. dark green leaves will be even more miracolous than your beloved Leprechaum sweet treat.

for breakfast have fruits and brown bread.

have some fiber on every meal and your anus will thank you, as well as your skin and hair.

>> No.5123404

>>5122064
They got a nice meaty flavor, as well.

>> No.5123686

>>5122050
Brah, you ever heard of VEGETABLES? And you know, whole grains? Sheesh.