/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.5103657]

How can I make my pizza pockets crispy without leaving my room? I just pulled them out of the freezer section of my mini fridge and they seem like they could take a while to thaw. Using a microwave or toaster oven is out of the question as my parents would be furious if they knew I was still awake. I'm supposed to get up early to go find a job tomorrow but I'm not going to be able to fall asleep without eating something. Anyone have experience with this?

[Anonymous No.5103658]

Go to bed, faggot.

[Anonymous No.5103659]

Eat something else.

[Anonymous No.5103660]

>>5103657

Bake them, you lazy shit.

[Anonymous No.5103662]

He a damn piece of fruit, you fat fuck.

[Anonymous No.5103663]

>>5103657
>>5103660

See my post. Can't yet.

>>5103659
I don't have anything else. I've been trying to not go and get fast food so much and these are the only damn things I have left.

[Anonymous No.5103664]

>>5103663

>trying not to get fast food so much
>has pizza pockets

[Anonymous No.5103666]

SEND ME AN EMAIL IF U WANT A PIZZAROLL

[Anonymous No.5103669]

>>5103662

I went to the store yesterday and all they had left were bananas and apples and limes. I have a hard time eating fruit that's too sweet.

The only sources of heat I have are my electric blanket and laptop. Will the blanket at least get them warm enough to eat?

[Anonymous No.5103670]

How young do you have to be to be scared that other will show up?

What a pussy.

[Anonymous No.5103672]

>>5103669
Jesus Christ you sound so ridiculously pathetic right now. No wonder your parents are on your ass.

[Anonymous No.5103677]

Wow I didn't realize this was the life advice board, I thought I was going to get some people with actual helpful ideas.

>>5103670
You don't know my parents. I'm 25 which isn't too old to live at home by any means but if I don't at least look like I'm trying to get a job they're going to kick me out.

I just want my damn pizza pockets so I can go to sleep..

[Anonymous No.5103680]

>my parents would be furious if they knew I was still awake

lel

[Anonymous No.5103681]

>>5103677
Eat a damn banana, you're not going to heat up frozen pizza pockets with a blanket and a laptop, you autist.

[Anonymous No.5103686]

>>5103681
Bananas make me feel sick. Lots of fruit does I don't know why. I'm just going to turn my blanket on high and put it over the hot pockets with the plastic bag in and put the laptop on top. I guess I'll report back with my results in a bit or tomorrow if anyone is still interested.

In the meantime this could be a room-cooking thread if you guys have any helpful ideas. I seem to be in this situation more than I'd like to admit.

[Anonymous No.5103687]

>>5103669
Then eat a goddamn carrot.

[Anonymous No.5103688]

>>5103686
It's called eating way too much processed bullshit.

[Anonymous No.5103690]

>>5103687
I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER FOOD IN MY ROOM

[Anonymous No.5103691]

>>5103686
>Bananas make me feel sick. Lots of fruit does I don't know why.

stop eating garbage.

[Anonymous No.5103706]

>>5103669
What you wanna do here is slide them pizza treats up your butt crack and under your folds of fat. Now here's the hard part. Jerk off to non-anime porn for more than 10 minutes. You'll be sweating like a pig and it'll toast them like pizza pockets up real nice.

[Anonymous No.5103714]

>>5103706
My sides.

[Anonymous No.5103723]

>this is why I got to /ck/ if I wanna have a good laugh

[Anonymous No.5103734]

you'll have to fry them (deep fryer 375 3 mins) tastes good man

[Anonymous No.5103737]

OP maybe you should consider investing in a small toaster oven for your room instead of using retarded methods like you're currently doing.

[Anonymous No.5103743]

>>5103677
>I'm 25 which isn't too old to live at home by

im a stop you right there yes it is if you older then 22 and still living with your parents your doing life wrong im 22 i have full time job and im going to school get your shit to together

you fat peace of shit got your whats wrong with the world you neet PoS
(also jobs are easy to get it took me literally 3 days to find a job and get hired )

[Anonymous No.5103759]

>>5103669
Oh boy that picture is just fantastic. Thanks for sharing

[Anonymous No.5103761]

>>5103677
>25
Yes that is too fuckin old you faggot. You better damn well get that job tomorrow you tardburger

[Anonymous No.5103766]

>>5103677
I'm 23 and moved out 5 months ago. I was ashamed from 21-23. unless you're europoor. it is too old. get a job you bum

[Anonymous No.5103787]

>>5103686
>Bananas make me feel sick. Lots of fruit does I don't know why.

It's because your body isn't used to it due to the overwhelming amounts of bullshit you're eating instead. I speak from harsh experience, here. After 30 years of living on fast food, processed junk, and whatever was available in the military, I switched off it entirely and went to a diet heavy on fruits and vegetables with virtually nothing "fake" or overly processed. I spent basically the next two or three days with worse diarrhea than Taco Bell ever gave me. After that transition period, though, it became the exact opposite. I felt better than I had in years, and the next time my stomach was upset was like a week later when I had a bowl of shitty macaroni and cheese.

Your body will adjust to what you put into it. The faster you switch to shit that isn't killing you, the better you'll feel. Do it now and you'll have five years head start on me.

[Anonymous No.5103792]

>>5103677

I moved out when I was 19. My friends and I are all 24-26 now not a single one of us live at home, and we would belittle any of us that did.

Consider actually trying to find a job loser

[Anonymous No.5103793]

how about you get a fucking job and move out of your parents place you piece of shit

then start eating like an adult rather than a neckbeard

[Anonymous No.5103803]

Excellent post OP. Reminiscent of old 4chan.

[Anonymous No.5103804]

The answer is no.

If you do not have access to a microwave, toaster oven or oven, you cannot heat these up past the safe point of consumption.

Deal with it OP.

[Anonymous No.5103818]

>>5103766
I know no one still living at their parent's home with 25. Only those who will never move out do that.

[Anonymous No.5104313]

[Anonymous No.5104320]

>>5103657
Christ, this is one of the most, if not the most pathetic things I've ever seen on this board.

[Anonymous No.5104326]

>>5103677
>I'm 25 which isn't too old to live at home
Still too old to have parents setting a bed time. Do you have aspergers or some other mental disability?

[Anonymous No.5104328]

>>5104326
He has no job and parents who want him to get one. I think they have all the right to tell his sorry ass when to sleep.

[Anonymous No.5104339]

>>5103657
>not going to be able to fall asleep without eating something
drink a glass of water and go to sleep faggotron

[Anonymous No.5104345]

>>5104328
Truth.
/thread

[Anonymous No.5104346]

>>5103677
My sides.
Are you embarrassed OP? Hopefully this thread will shamr you into turning your life around

[Anonymous No.5104386]

>>5103677
>I thought I was going to get some people with actual helpful ideas.
>Be 25
>Live with parents
>Pull frozen pizza rolls out of mini fridge
>How cook without waking up parents, who would be mad I was still awake?

Here's some very helpful advice: Eat them frozen, reflecting on the pathetic state of your life. That's better than you deserve.

[Anonymous No.5104572]

>tfw I'm 24 and still live with my parents

Welp, might as well off myself now.

[Anonymous No.5104603]

ITT: a gaggle of trolled homosexual neckbearded autists actually giving real advice to OP


Embarrassing

[Anonymous No.5104619]

>>5103677
I had my first job at 16. My own apt. with live in gf at 18. Grow and beard and some balls anon

[Anonymous No.5104657]

>>5104619
>live in gf at 18

Not something to brag about.

[Anonymous No.5104670]

Hey guys, I'm back. The blanket/laptop idea worked pretty well, except the grease stayed in the bag and got them soggy. Good enough to eat though but my stomach did feel a little gross. I woke up with heartburn several times and just didn't sleep well in general. Told my mom that I was sick and would go job hunting tomorrow because I didn't get up until 2:00 and felt it would be too late. Glad to see that you guys really took advantage of this thread.. Why don't you go back to /adv/ and let people discuss food?

[Anonymous No.5104693]

Also I was thinking about trying to get a job as a cook. Any places that hire with little to no experience? I'm pretty smart and a fast learner.

[Anonymous No.5104706]

I would have unscrewed the bulb from a table lamp and dropped a pizza pocket in there. It might have heated it up nicely.

[Anonymous No.5104739]

>>5104706
That sounds dangerous.

[Anonymous No.5104774]

>>5103666
POST A COMMENT ON THIS WEB ZONE IF YOU WANT A PIZZA ROLL

[Anonymous No.5104778]

>>5104670
>food
>processed shit
Fuck off, you fat fuck. You're everything wrong with this board.

[Anonymous No.5104835]

eh i can't wait til all the genx parents and boomers get fired from their job and have to apply as burger flippers at mcdonalds.

[Anonymous No.5105509]

Ay /sp/ mod you faggot, stop deleting threads

[Anonymous No.5105514]

top lel

[Anonymous No.5105520]

>>5103669
Can I please save that picture?

[Anonymous No.5105532]

>he's a janitor
>on the internet
>on an anime imageboard
>he does it for free
>he takes his "job" very seriously
>he does it because it is the only amount of power and control he will ever have in his pathetic life
>he deletes threads he doesn't like because whenever he gets upset he has an asthma attack
>he deletes threads he doesn't like because they interfere with the large backlog of little girl chinese cartoons he still has to watch
>he will never have a real job
>he will never move out of his parent's house
>he will never be at a healthy weight
>he will never know how to cook anything besides a hot pocket
>he will never have a girlfriend
>he will never have any friends

[Anonymous No.5105536]

>be me
>cashier at Walgreens
>shitty job but it pays the bills while I wait to go back to school in spring
>slow night, not many customers
>suddenly see the fattest of fat fat fucks approaching register
>cart full of Mountain Dew and Hot Pockets
>has so much fat that he has to lean on the cart to assist him with walking
>so fat that he won't take anything out of the cart, makes me scan everything while it's still in cart
>isthisfaggotserious.jpg
>a guy walks in only wanting a 20oz Pepsi, has to wait behind Fatty McGee
>total comes to 78 dollars
>shoves sweaty $100 bill in my face like an asshole
>mark it to make sure it's legit, go to put it in the register
>"wait let me give you the (whatever) cents"
>starts searching in pockets for approximately a decade looking for change
>by this point there are four people waiting behind Fatfuck McFatterson
>all visibly upset that they have to wait for him
>I call for second cashier
>everyone immediately goes to his line to stop dealing with all the fat
>this guy is seriously now running out of breath searching for change
>starts wheezing
>finally makes the change so I can give him all bills back
>second cashier's line empties
>guy spends a couple minutes sorting hot pockets, wallet, fat
>"I can't wait to get home and go to bed, it's been a long day"
>making small talk I say, "Long day at work?"
>"oh no, I don't have a job, I borrowed that money from my mom"
>"So what do you do?"
>"I moderate the sports board on 4chan"
>mfw

[Anonymous No.5105540]

lel

[Anonymous No.5105543]

>>5105536
lel is this pasta banned from /sp/ yet?

[Anonymous No.5105544]

>>5105532
That's not funny! I would ban you right now if moot didn't take my mod powers away for posting porn on /a/ instead of deleting it

[Anonymous No.5105545]

>>5105536
I was waiting for this one.

[Anonymous No.5105547]

Who /sync/ here?

[Anonymous No.5105549]

Who /sp/ here?

[not eric No.5105551]

I really like /ck/

[Anonymous No.5105554]

>>5105551
I really really like /ck/

[Anonymous No.5105560]

>mfw the mod rubs the tip of his nose on his moms pussy

[Anonymous No.5105565]

I really really really like /ck/

[Anonymous No.5105614]

I love /ck/ <3

[Anonymous No.5105616]

What the fuck thread did I stumble into?

[Anonymous No.5105632]

He strikes again

[Anonymous No.5105655]

Thanks for the epic bread /ck/

[Anonymous No.5105666]

>>5105655
Yep, no probs. Pls take your autism back to your own board, /v/.

[Anonymous No.5105731]

>>5103657
>my parents would be furious if they knew I was still awake

oh god thanks OP i was needing a good laugh

now grow some balls and beat your dads ass and fuck your mom while he watches....Establish dominance so you can make your damn pizza rolls whenever you damn well please

[Anonymous No.5105734]

>>5105666
>kornheiser
>/v/

[Anonymous No.5105815]

>>5103657
>How can I make my pizza pockets crispy without leaving my room

P-Put them in your butt.

[Anonymous No.5106400]

The answer is clear, build a small fire in your room and toast your pizza rolls over that.

[Anonymous No.5106406]

>>5103657
Remove fan from heat sink.
Cook rolls.

>>5105532
pic related

>>5104693
You will wash dishes for months before you are let near food.

[Anonymous No.5106607]

>>5104670
Is your name Ignatius?

[Anonymous No.5107084]

>>5105536
10/10

[Anonymous No.5107113]

>>5106406
Holy fuck. I was laughing so hard it took me 5 minutes to read the text in your picture.

[Anonymous No.5107143]

>>5103657
Good stuff.

[Anonymous No.5107172]

>living at home and contributing to your household and actually living as a family

Acceptable.

>living at home and hiding in your fucking room like an autist with a personal fridge, avoiding your parents like a shitty leech, not working as a family unit

Unacceptable. If you're going to live with your family, OP, live like a family. If you dislike them then you should be making the effort to leave them. Otherwise you should put up or shut up.

[Anonymous No.5107179]

>>5105536

100/10

[MarShon Brooks' Questionable P(...) !!s+uqu8kelEH No.5107621]

>>5105536

[Anonymous No.5107624]

>>5105666
>/ck/ in charge of knowing the origins of memes

[Anonymous No.5107626]

>mfw when the /sp/ mod awoke abruptly due to sleep apnea and rolled over on his side to eat his pizza pockets and uphold his sworn duty to protect /sp/ because his dad yelled at him on new year's eve about not being responsible so the mod decided to double-down on his efforts to police /sp/ but first he had to wipe away all the spittle, cum, and chicken pot pie remnants off his screen but the mod didn't want to use the screen wipes his mom got him for christmas because they were on the other side of the room and he was scared and didn't want to leave his hentai body pillow alone so the mod decided to use his stained kimono to clean the screen but as he was cleaning some of his exposed fat fell out and landed on the keyboard and deleted a cherished persona doujin and the mod flew into sobbing, uncontrollable despair but he didn't want his waifu to see him like this so he ran out of his room naked and crying and woke up his parents who both thought for a moment that the mod was dying and that they'd finally find peace

[Anonymous No.5107636]

>>5105536
>running out of breath searching for change
its funnier because i've seen this happen

[Anonymous No.5108450]

bumping for >mods

[Anonymous No.5108638]

Don't listen to these /b/tards up in here. They equate moving out to being a big boy/girl. That's all childish bullshit. "Ewww hey everybody look at me, I'm a big fuckin tuffguy because I'm paying rent!" You're basically paying off the loan your landlord took out to buy that piece of shit you live in, plus he can stash away about 40% of what you gave him because rent > mortgage on the same property.

Live at home as long as you can possibly stand it. Take the money you would have pissed away to the landlord and save it. If you want, kick a benji up to youR parents every month in exchange for them leaving you the fuck alone when your door is shut, that way you fuck your girlfriend, stick your finger up your ass while you jerk off in a sock, do whippits, or whatever else you chumps do to pass the time nowadays.

Using my own situation as an example... No rent ($850), gas/electric/water/sewer/trash ($150+), cable/internets ($110), food (~$250+ for me and wife and cats), yearly city tax ($175, not all towns charge that but mine does).

That's over $1500/month I pay to be a big man and not live with my parents. Is it worth it? Fuck naw. If I could be putting that shit in the bank I would have enough money in 3 yrs to pay cash for a house, or a damn fine down payment on one. Could also buy a new car every few years as needed.

[Anonymous No.5108661]

>$54K cash is enough for a house
Maybe in some pisshole backwater on the wrong side of the tracks 30 miles to the left of nowhere just outside of Babyjesusburg, Bumblefuck County in Western Statesota, but where I live, that will barely get you an undeveloped lot in a decent area. Even a house in livable condition in the poorest areas around here cost at least $80K.
You're right though about it being enough for a down payment. 33% down is a good chunk. That'd leave you with about a $100K loan which is a roughly $800 monthly mortgage not including property taxes.

[Anonymous No.5108681]

>>5108661
>house
>$80k
lolwut

[Anonymous No.5108694]

>>5108638
But OP is clearly a massive manchild faggot who deserves ridicule

[Anonymous No.5108702]

>>5108681
What?

[Anonymous No.5109158]

>>5108681
>house
>$80k
>Wut
Not talkin about your mommy and daddys house faggot...

There are a ton of houses in the midwest where I grew up that are selling for $18-30k. Yeah, on average its a narrow two story built in 1910, 1 bathroom, small yard, usually a detached garage and a basement too. The housing crisis/recession is still going on out there. On my sister's street, half of the houses have sat empty for the last 6 months after foreclosures. Banks are taking their lumps and dumping that shit for pennies on the dollar.

On the east coast now, the "get your foot in the door" price in 2007 was $300k. Same houses are selling for $125-150k today. IF they sell.

[Anonymous No.5109173]

>>5109158
That
> narrow two story built in 1910, 1 bathroom, small yard... and a basement
house you describe would, in my area, cost $150K and up in a decent area and $250K and up in a respectable one. And no garage. One with a garage would go easily for at least $200K as parking is murder here. In a good area, that's easily a half million dollars here. So sad.

[Anonymous No.5109186]

>>5109158
You lucky fuck. Housing here can't be found for under 75K and banks want 20% down because there are so many buyers.

Many are decent looking homes, but I can't afford 20 grand out of pocket to start.

[Anonymous No.5109238]

>>5109158
>midwest where I grew up that are selling for $18-30k
>midwest
You had better mean they PAY you $18-30k to live there.

[Anonymous No.5109242]

>>5109158
What kind of ghost town would you have to live in to have one of those houses, though

[Anonymous No.5109327]

>>5109242
Part of the reason no one buys them.

[Anonymous No.5109351]

hahahaaha banks lend everybody money to buy houses causing the price of houses to more then double then the banks claim bankruptcy and get bailed out by the government and everybodies houses are worthless. or atleast not worth the inflated prices the property sold for hahaha

[Anonymous No.5109354]

>>5109327

I know a fire fighter who lives in Little Rock. He drove me through the ghetto there once to show me around. Almost all the houses were for sale for around 20k or so, which should have been a steal, as they were all decent sized, and very pretty old houses. However, I've been in some rough places, and this neighborhood was one of the worst. He said he worked in the area often because people would break into an abandoned house to smoke crack, get too shitty, dropping the pipe and burning the house down. Either that or the people were so fucked up and nihilistic and tragic and insane that every few months they would just try and literally just burn the neighborhood down...pretty sad.

[tigerfeather !eNA7SV90Fk No.5109390]

>>5109158
Your east coast figures are right in line with where I live in central California. My parents paid almost $300k for their 3 bedroom 2 bath house in 2002. My husband and I bought our house for about $120k a few years ago. The market around here is picking up though, one of the houses nearby with the same layout (minus an add on room that we have) is going for "only $150k!"

[Anonymous No.5110247]

>>5109173
You live on Nantucket Island or something? I've seen that around Princeton too. I was looking at the for sales in 07' and the cheapest house for sale was a total piece of shit, made in 1930. Ranch with the front door on the end instead of the side. Small lot. $800k.

[Anonymous No.5110259]

>>5110247
>You live on Nantucket Island or something?
Ew, no. I live in a proper city.

[Anonymous No.5112444]

lel

[Anonymous No.5112448]

>>5112444
COMEDY GOLD

[Anonymous No.5112467]

>>5103669
I really like this image

[Anonymous No.5112503]

[Anonymous No.5112516]

I like /ck/, you guys are alright

[Anonymous No.5112530]

>>5112503
not enough fat and chinese cartoons

[Anonymous No.5112534]

SIEG HEIL
ALL BRO CULTURE WILL BE SENT TO THE CAMPS

[Anonymous No.5112818]

Why all this talk of /sp/ mods?

[Anonymous No.5112822]

>>5112818
Because he is OP

[Anonymous No.5112824]

>>5112822
But.. But I am OP..