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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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5060813 No.5060813[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

You are transported to a room where you will have to make a choice between two parallel universes in which to spend the rest of your life in. These universes are exactly the same as the current one barring one minor difference. All the people you know now will know and remember you the same way they do now, but you will remember the old universe.

Universe A is a universe that doesn't and will never have that red, tangy, slightly acidic family of fruits we call the tomato.

Universe B is a universe that doesn't and will never have that spicy, somewhat bitter, somewhat salty and crunchy family of vegetables known as the onion.

Which universe do you choose /ck/?

>> No.5060815

>>5060813
Universe C in which I put a bullet in my head.

>> No.5060816
File: 59 KB, 430x344, 1388449446691.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5060816

Goddamnit

>> No.5060817

Shit. Well, probably the one without onion, even though I love the fucker. Because I could not live without tomato-based sauces.

I will miss you, onion.

(I'll still have shallots though, so I'm okay)

>> No.5060818

>no pizza or no asian food

ritual suicide.

>> No.5060819

universe a

>> No.5060823

>>5060813
Universe A every time baby, i have packages of tomato seeds in my pockets at all times

>> No.5060826

I can't choose, both of them go so well together though

>> No.5060833

>>5060823
The tomato seeds would disappear from your pocket, being rejected by a universe in which their existence is completely impossible.

>> No.5060841

>>5060833
i still have to choose universe A, i cant disrespect shrek

>> No.5060844

Either which way there's no more pico de gallo.

Everybody loses.

>> No.5060851

>>5060818

Chinese cuisine barely uses onions.

>> No.5060874

Easy choice for me, I'll be the first to go to b OP

>> No.5060875

>>5060813
>a universe where every fucking sandwich shop doesnt put tomatoes on every fucking sandwich

holy shit please

>inb4 "just ask for no tomatoes!"

dont know how many times ive asked and end up getting extra tomatoes

>> No.5060879

>>5060851
This brings up the question if scallions and green onions count in the hell that is universe B.

>> No.5060880

>>5060875
>dont know how many times ive asked and end up getting extra tomatoes
Good.

>> No.5060894
File: 15 KB, 441x411, 1306273493439.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5060894

>>5060880
>wanting tomatoes on sandwiches

let me guess, you get them on hot sandwiches too? what a fucking pleb. what does the tomato offer other than being a filler which sogs up the bread and makes the meats slide off?

>inb4 "fresh crunch!"

>> No.5060902

>>5060813
Universe A.
I only started eating tomatoes this year, so it's not a big loss to me. Onions on the other hand, I don't think I could live without.

>> No.5060904

>>5060894
>>inb4 "fresh crunch!"

If you think tomatoes are supposed to be crunchy, then you have never had a ripe tomato.

>> No.5060907

B

Onions make everything from onion tartlets and basic stocks to good sandwiches and kebobs possible.

I can survive without the fruit pretending to be a vegetable. We'll just puree some red bell peppers and pretend.

>> No.5060910

>>5060904
no, i know theyre not supposed to be crunchy. it's what all sandwich tomato apologists spew, along with "b-b-but that tomato wasnt ripe! you need to grow your own!"

>> No.5060915
File: 18 KB, 211x290, 1388105395108.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5060915

The universe with no onions.

Can you imagine a world with no tomatoes?
>no ketchup
>no tomato sauce
>>pizza
>>pasta sauce
>>chili
>no god-tier sandwiches

Just the thought terrifies me.

>> No.5060919

>>5060907
You chose the wrong letter.

>> No.5060922

>>5060813
A, absolutely. I would miss tomatoes, but a world without onions would be the worst.

>> No.5060925

>>5060919
Sorry. I've been enjoying the rum.

Doesn't matter, I wouldn't want to do without each. I'm just saying, I prefer onion.

>> No.5060931

A, no hesitation.

Onions, sauerkraut, and sausage are what keep me alive at this point.

>> No.5060934

A

I need my shallots

>> No.5060935

>>5060879
Hmm, I think they are too close to be included in universe B, but I want to try and keep this equal.

So a new choice, now entire genuses are missing from the universes.

In Universe B, there is no such genus as Allium, which includes shallots, scallions and garlic.

In universe A there is no such genus as Solanum, which now means as well as tomatoes, Universe A now no longer has potatoes or eggplants (or nightshade for you would be assassins).

>> No.5060940

you would have to define tomatoes and onions clearly
I'll find some o dem native tomatillo type ancestors and make some proprietary hybrids and solidify my family dynasty

>> No.5060954

>>5060935
no taters, what? I can do without tomasto or eggplant, but taters are staple.

>> No.5060974

>>5060813
Fuck this, in either universe I will never be able to make my spanish rice properly again.
Time to an hero

>> No.5060989

>>5060813
Any universe with no tomato-based pizza sauce is no universe at all!

>> No.5061036

universe a not even close. is there any major cuisine that doesnt use onions in their cooking? i didnt think so.

>> No.5061050

>>5060935
>onions, shallots, scallions, garlic, leeks, ramps
FUCK
>tomatoes, potatoes, eggplants, and tobacco
EXTRA FUCK.

Can't I just choose some sort of purgatory!?

>> No.5061075

>>5060813
Universe B, no doubt.
While I love and feel like I couldn't live without tomatoes, red bell peppers make an excellent substitute for tomatoes, which is what I use in winter when tomatoes suck. There is NO acceptable sub for onions.

>> No.5061077

Remember to add peppers and eggplant to the tomato family.

Still, if I had to choose it would be Allium over nightshades by the slimmest of margins.

>> No.5061079

>>5061075
herp a derp, I meant Universe A

>> No.5061080

Goodbye onions.

Tomato master universe.

>> No.5061084

>>5061075
>bell peppers substitute for tomatoes
I've got bad news for you:
>>5060935
>In universe A there is no such genus as Solanum, which now means as well as tomatoes, Universe A now no longer has potatoes or eggplants (or nightshade for you would be assassins).
All chilies, peppers etc are solanum, as well.

>> No.5061090

Tomatoes are disgusting, but onions are useless filler.

>> No.5061091

>>5061084
Well fuck your shit, I'm not going to live in either universe, I'll fucking make my own.
/thread/

>> No.5061097

>>5060935
I'd still pick universe A. there are other starches and spices out there, but there's no non Allium that can replicate their flavor and function

>> No.5061103
File: 42 KB, 477x500, 1378805533099.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5061103

>onions
>spicy, salty
you wot

>> No.5061104

>>5060935
Seriously, are you Satan? What are you doing here on /ck/, O great one?

>> No.5061114

Universe A, I already sort of live in it, I barely use onions as I hate how they make everything stink when you cook them, and they give me gas and mild diarrhea.

>> No.5061117

>>5061114

fuck I mean B, the one without onions, I am tired as hell right now

>> No.5061129

Unless you'd miss the shit out of
>ketchup
>pico de gallo
>chili
>and most Italian food
There's really no reason not to pick A unless you hate onions.

>> No.5061130

It's funny to think how insanely important these two ingrediants are to cooking. I simply can't choose between them.

>> No.5061133

>>5061129
Onions are worthless. I can't think of any important, widely eaten food that actually requires onions as an ingredient.

>> No.5061138

>>5061129
Universe A is now missing potatoes, eggplants, peppers and tobacco in addition to tomatoes. This shits gone genus wide?

>>5061103
Onions undeniably have some heat to them, and if you bite into a raw one, it's a little bitter and salty too. Not overpowering or anything but it's there.

Seriously though, if it's news to you that onions are spicy your palette is busted.

>> No.5061141

>>5061138
>This shits gone genus wide?
I'm not sure why I made that a question.

>> No.5061144

I'll save the onions. Tomatoes fuck up my stomach anyway.

>> No.5061145

Fuck everything about this. I'd have to keep the tomato.

>> No.5061161

>>5061090
Check that edge at the gate, son.

>> No.5061165

>>5060817
This. I'm far too in love with pasta and pizza and what the fuck else ever and even though I fucking love onions and all of its uses, I just...I can't give up my tomato sauces.

>> No.5061173

Either way my fucking guacamole is ruined you shit... Fuck you.

>> No.5061174

>>5061165
Have fun never enjoying those tomato sauces the same way because they don't have any onion.

>> No.5061177

>>5060935
Nope. I can't. I choose death.

>> No.5061185

>>5060813
Living in a world without tomatoes and jalapeños.

No.

>> No.5061236

That is an extremely tough question because I love both, buttttt.....

Onions gone.

>> No.5061460

Fuck you OP, I choose death.

>> No.5061496

Entire cultures have risen and fallen without tomatoes. Onions are eternal.

>> No.5061505

>>5061496

this

>> No.5061508

A

I could be wrong, and excuse the 4chan cliche, but I think anyone that chooses B doesn't know anything about cooking

>> No.5061512

I choose tomatao , you can use leeks and spring onion as replacments for the other shit

>> No.5061513

>>5061090
>>5061133
Are these guys fucking serious?

>> No.5061569

I can live without spaghetti and pizza, onions are way better.

>> No.5061578

>>5061513
PROTIP: Onions absorb free radicals in you blood stream -- reducing risk of cancer.

>> No.5061595

I would choose the onion universe any day of the week.

I like both, but I like onions more than tomatoes.

>> No.5061604

If I were forced to pick one, it would have to be tomatoes. As much as I love onions, a world without tomato sauce is a world I do not want to live in.

>> No.5061614

Cant live without my onions

I prefer Alfredo and and normally and usually order BBQ sauced pizza

>> No.5061620

>>5061578
life is short anyways and even suckier without pizza. hello pizza and cancer

>> No.5061623

Well, we're talking families, so it's Solanaceae vs Allium.

Tomatoes, potatoes, eggplants, peppers, tomatillos, pimentos, ground cherries, tomatillos, naranjillas, wolfberries, tobacco.

Vs

Onions, Garlic, Leeks, Chives.

Hmmm.

>> No.5061625

>>5061623
>Well, we're talking families
No we aren't, we're talking tomato v onion.

>> No.5061627

>>5061625

>family of fruits we call the tomato.

>family of vegetables known as the onion.

>not talking families

OK, sure, whatever you say.

>> No.5061628

>>5061625
Plain ole' white fucking onion or all onions?

>> No.5061630

>>5061627
>red, tangy, slightly acidic family of fruits we call the potato

>> No.5061635
File: 9 KB, 200x200, 1388472803342.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5061635

>>5061630
pH 4.8-5.2, bitch.

>> No.5061643

>>5061174
Shallot is a pretty similar substitute for onion.

>> No.5061691

>>5061623
Shit, you really hate tomatillos huh?

I'd have to go with living in Universe A. Too many dishes gone completely if I were to skip it.

>> No.5061828

>vegan food

Who gives a shit about tomatoes and onions? They're bland. Vegan food is shit.

>> No.5061834

I hate tomato's with a passion. Not a pleb just think they taste like complete shit.

>> No.5061850

>>5061091
With blackjack! And hookers!

>> No.5061856

The onion is one of the greatest evils ever visited upon mankind. The choice is clear.

>> No.5061865

>>5061856
Except that it's flavored most of the meals you've ever eaten. The tomato has not done so.

>> No.5061864

>>5060935
>no nightshade
hiffwe

>> No.5061868
File: 14 KB, 400x300, bender.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5061868

>>5061850
That's right, you heard me.

>> No.5061887

B. Onions are and always have been my least favourite food. They ruin everything. Fuck off, onions.

>> No.5061901

I love onions, i love tomatoes.

Fuck it.

>> No.5061915

I'm Italian, therefore I commit Soduko

>> No.5061933

>>5060813

Fuck tomatoes then.

>> No.5061935

>>5060935
>Universe A now no longer has potatoes or eggplants

Well I guess I will strangle whoever put me up to the choice then.

No... no, I won't strangle him. I will cut him open and fashion a shrine to the dark gods out of his still living body.

>> No.5061954

>>5060813
Universe A
I despise tomato and have a passion for onion

>> No.5061955

no onions would be hell.
no tomatoes i could deal with. i like tomatoes. but no onions is worse.

>> No.5061959

>>5060844

the most terrifying thing in this thread

I guess if you went with no more tomatoes you could still make derivatives like mango salsa

>> No.5061978

>>5061935
this. Tzeench demands it.

>> No.5061983

Universe A I hate tomatoes and love onions

>> No.5062005

So I have to make a detrimental choice instead of enjoying the place I live now, with no reward.

Fuck you OP.

>> No.5062020

A world with no onions would be heaven.

Onions truly are the worst of the vegetable world.

>> No.5062030

>>5062020
Why don't you just tattoo "I'm a huge faggot" on your forehead then and save some time.

>> No.5062042

>>5062020

Oh wow... it's like you are six years old.

>> No.5062050

>>5061614
tomatoes are in BBQ sauce -

>> No.5062052

>>5062050
Not always.

>> No.5062054

Universe A. I prefer my pizza with olive oil base anyway, and I don't eat most tomato products (aside from bbq sauce). It would be an easy thing for me to deal with.

>> No.5062056

In This Thread: Children who imagine raw tomato slices and have no idea that all their favorite thing contain tomato in some form.

>> No.5062064
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5062064

You are a monster OP

I take solace in the fact that I will never have to make such a decision in real life

>> No.5062108

To the blessed onion land! Cause I hate tomatoes.

>> No.5062111

>>5060813
A. That way I might eat something Italian that isn't actually based on something that didn't exit in Italy 400 years ago

>> No.5062119
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5062119

>>5060935
I would've given up onions, but a world without garlic is no world for humans. Goodbye, 'maters. Goodbye... roasted red pepper...

>> No.5062127

>>5060935
I'd give up the tomatoes in your first question, I use onions too much.

But I don't think I could live without mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, gratin, hash browns, potato pancakes, stew and soup with potatoes and whatever else you can do with them to make things delicious.

>> No.5062149

Go to bed Masaokis

>> No.5062154
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5062154

>a world without caramelized onions

Jesus Christ how horrifying.

>> No.5062160

>>5060817
shallots are onions you retard

>> No.5062292

>>5062119
This right here.

I know that onions are basically the cornerstone of cooking but I've never really liked eating them. Can't pinpoint why. I don't pick them out of my food like I used to when I was a child, but I've never been like "Oh, boy! ONIONS! That just so happens to be the feast in which I have the most delight in feasting upon!" yet I do that with garlic. Fuck bad breath, I could eat raw garlic 24/7 and be content. Roasted garlic on bread is better than butter.

>> No.5062297

>>5061084
ok, no onion world for sure. bagels and burgers need tomatoes too much more than they need onions

>> No.5062299

>>5060910
omg dude ur just digging yourself deeper

>> No.5063281

>>5062154
Truly the worst

>> No.5063500

>>5060915
>Ketchup
>Any year
Kill yourself.

>> No.5063528

>>5062052
I bet a mustard bbq sauce pizza would be good.
someone should do that

>> No.5063571

>>5060813
I usually somewhat enjoy onions, but my love for the rarely-consumed tomato is too strong. Universe B it is!

>Onion-based spaghetti sauce
>Onion and scrambled eggs
>Double onions on your cheeseburger
>Onion sauce on pizza

Universe A would be a horrible place.

>> No.5063589

>>5060813
>tomato
>is a berry
>member of nightshade family
RIP 75% of cuisine

>> No.5063606

>>5060935
Universe A.

Weed > Tobacco (or hell just stop smoking)
Zucchini/Squash > Eggplant
Tomatillos > Tomatoes (yes they are not in the same genus, and this applies even without them being banned)

but potatoes idk fucking cauliflower or something

>> No.5063633

shit...that's a hard choice, I guess i'd go for the universe that doesn't have onion, since I really couldn't live without fresh tomato for salads/burgers/sandwiches

>> No.5063989

Totally and absolutely universe A. Onions over tomatoeoeeoeoes any day.

>> No.5064015
File: 31 KB, 800x533, mashed manioc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5064015

>>5063606
Tomatillos are solanum, you fucking moron. So are gooseberries. The closest swap out for tomato in finished product might be winter squash (pumpkin). Where I'm from, sauces are made from tomatoes and pumpkins in manners somewhat similar to one another. We even make pumpkin sauce pizza.

As for potato, i like swede as a good swap out, but taro shares more of the texture quality and flavour profile of potato. Since OP only specified solanum in >>5060935, morning glories, though related, are not in the solanum family and, as such, as fair game. Guess what morning glory tubers are called? Sweet potatoes.
Manioc can also be a decent potato substitute, but it didn't pop into mind first. See? It even looks like mashed potato!

>> No.5064039

Enjoy your poison, universe B nightshade plant traitors.

Universe A > Current universe

>> No.5064045

>>5064015
>you fucking moron
they said it wasnt the same whats your problem?

>> No.5064064
File: 340 KB, 804x453, suicide lol.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5064064

>>5060813
I think i might cry just thinking about your situation. I will never have a good burger ever again. Italian food is gonna suck no matter what choice a pick, Mexican and most other Hispanic foods are gonna suck ass.

>> No.5064068

I don't like tomatoes.
Universe A ftw.

>> No.5064070

>>5060813
Univerise H... you realize that you're a disgusting homosexual whose sole existance is to prove itself on others.

>> No.5064072

How bout :

Universe A you get tomato but you will lose all kind of noodles including instant ramen

Universe B you get onion but you will lose all kinds of pork including bacon

>> No.5064074

>>5064072
universe a is the much lesser of evils but i like tomatoes
i choose suicide

>> No.5064078

>>5064074
oh wait you get those things
yeah still universe suicide

>> No.5064075

>>5064064
I am from Italy. I would give up tomatoes to keep onions. Our cuisine is not exclusively tomato, you know. Much of our regional cuisine doesn't even use it very much and in areas where it is used in considerable amounts (IE the south), other non-tomato dishes exist that are also delicious.

>> No.5064079

Guys

Hey guys

What if this has happened already and we're living in a world deprived of something delicious whithout ever knowing it existed?

>> No.5064080

>>5064079
>we'll never know the joys of skub

>> No.5064107

>>5064080
>not knowing the hateful depravity of skub

>> No.5064124

>>5064079

>tfw no khlav kalash

>> No.5064208

>>5064124
>tfw no crab juice

>> No.5064232

>>5064079
Mind: blown!

Also, even in OPs universe, it would only take 1 generation to not even matter.
You'd have a bunch of old dudes whining about how they used to enjoy "X", but the kids wouldn't know any different.

>> No.5064506

>>5060813
tomato is great and all but onion is the mother of all cooking, why tomato when you could use red wine?

>> No.5064818

>>5060935
NO MORE EATING

>> No.5064858

>>5064107
>>5064080
lmaooooo

>> No.5064874 [DELETED] 

I propose to everyone on this thread, another prospective: What if we are currently living in a universe where there really was a vegetable or fruit that has been completely wiped away from our memories. Like, the ambrosia of all vegetables used to be with us but we committed a cardinal sin and God casted us out of the Garden of Eden and into this new hell of a universe without that magical vegetable.

>> No.5065627

>>5060894
>what does the tomato offer
It tastes good, ya plebian. And if it's sogging up the bread, you're not saucing right.

>> No.5065630
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5065630

>>5060935
How can such a hell even be conceived of?

>> No.5065637
File: 23 KB, 300x300, niggayoudontunderstand.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5065637

>>5062297
It's the other way around, anon.

>> No.5065716

Universe A, easy. I'm allergic to tomatoes.

>> No.5066202

YOU SICK MOTHERFUCKER THIS IS NOT OK

>> No.5066245

No tomatoes, easily.

Diced onions are the best seasoning ever.

I don't hate tomatoes, but I could live without them.

>> No.5066343

fuck tomatoes

>> No.5066812

I like both but...

fuck man. It's going to have to be the tomatoes,

>> No.5068370

>>5060813
I choose universe A. As much as I like tomatoes they fuck with my stomache so that's ideal for me.

>> No.5069061

>>5060813
A, because I fucking hate tomatoes.

Banana ketchup master race

>> No.5069063

>>5066245
>seasoning
They're a vegetable.

>> No.5069082

i choose suicide.

tomatoes and onions are the only things that give my life meaning anymore

>> No.5069083

They're both such good options. Tomatoes gross me out more in their raw state, but I can actually appreciate them in food. Meanwhile, onions taste kinda bad, feel terrible when you chew them, and are almost ubiquitous. B for me.

>> No.5069087

>>5061090
>onions
>filler

oh yeah i'll just cut up some onions to fill out my strawberry ice cream beacuse it's just a filler and won't completely alter the flavors.

>> No.5069578

>>5061090
I bet you only want tomatoes because of pizza.

>> No.5069584

>>5060935

I'm gonna go tell the contents of my pantry that I love them. And desperately try to forget that I ever read this thread.

>> No.5072339

A

tomatoes are shit.

>> No.5072350

>>5060813
This is hard.
On one hand, I love tomatoes to the point where I eat them by themselves.
On the other hand, I put onions in everything.
I guess I'll go with option Shrek. Tomatoes are great and all, but they don't have layers.

>> No.5072352

>>5064107
>Being anti-skub
>2014
Why do you hate everything good in life?