/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.5057441]

Hey /ck/ what are the best directions towards cooking a cat?
Pic very much related as it's my cat.

[Anonymous No.5057447]

>>5057441
Wrap in foil, microwave on high for 5 minutes per pound. Salt and pepper to taste.

[Anonymous No.5057452]

>>5057441
Don't cook and eat your cat. It probably had a shitty diet and would be stringy.

[Anonymous No.5057459]

>>5057452
I do not care, I would just like to get rid of her and I would also like a meal.

[Anonymous No.5057462]

>>5057459
Sell her to a nice couple, buy some McDonalds. Even that would be nicer than cat. Cat is like oily pigeon but far tougher.

[Anonymous No.5057478]

>>5057462
No, she needs to stop existing and I need to have a cat sized portion of food

[Anonymous No.5057488]

>>5057478
Why? What benefit do you have from your cat being dead and you having some unbelievably shitty meat over a meal and her getting to live with someone who'll care for her?

[Anonymous No.5057486]

>>5057478
dont let yourself get fooled by your cats fur
it has very little meat on its bones the fluffly fur just makes it seem fat. You'd be better off catching a squirrel and eating it

[Anonymous No.5057497]

>yallniggerspostinginatrollthread.jpeg

[Anonymous No.5057517]

Your first decision is to either skin the cat or pluck its hair.

To skin it, treat it like a tomato: make a "x" score on the cat's back and drop it into a pot of boiling water for just a minute or so. You should be able to easily peel off the skin.

This method is much easier than plucking but you miss out on some really tasty skin that crisps up nicely.

Take the organs, eyes, and other offal out and drop in a pot of boiling water to get a stock going.

Get the meat marinating in a mixture of castor oil and exactly one hundred black peppercorns.

Cut up like a chicken. (breasts, wings, etc.)

Rub down with salt, pepper, and cumin.

Fry each piece in clarified butter for approximately twenty-five minutes a side or until lightly golden.

Serve with rice.

[Anonymous No.5057518]

>>5057441
I have no experience with butchering so you may have to find some help with that part if you don't already know how to do it.

I'd probably slow roast it whole and add some generic spices and sides that work with most meats since I have no clue what cats taste like. Either that or you could take a small slice to fry so you can see what it tastes like and add whatever spices you think would work nicely with it. It shouldn't be that hard to make a decent meal out of once you've figured out how to butcher it.

[Anonymous No.5057699]

First step is to slaughter the beast, son. Show us a dead cat and a time stamp, then I'll tell you how to clean and prepare it. You have a really sharp knife handy?

[Anonymous No.5057713]

>>5057441

How much for the cat?

sentit because

[NOC No.5057716]

>>5057441

To you too.

[Anonymous No.5057760]

>carnists

[Anonymous No.5057778]

>>5057760
still has tons of best wishes going her way