Alcoholics of /ck/, tell me about the worst you've been at.

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Anonymous Fri Dec 13 17:33:14 2013 No.5019718 [DELETED]

Alcoholics of /ck/, tell me about the worst you've been at.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 17:39:13 2013 No.5019733 >>5019718 >tell me about the worst you've been at. Are you drunk right now?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 17:40:13 2013 No.5019736 File: 306 KB, 395x296, 1358289850195.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5019718 go to bed drunk ass.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 17:47:13 2013 No.5019743 Did shots of everclear my freshman year of college. I was a retard and paid for it by puking all over some guy's dorm room and spent the rest of the night laying on the floor of the dorm shower.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 17:53:13 2013 No.5019746 Woke up in my car with a half eaten ultimate bacon cheeseburger from jack in the box. I didn't know how I got there and somehow I ordered food and was parked on the lawn.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 17:54:13 2013 No.5019748 >>5019746 Oh and I was covered in vomit.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 17:58:14 2013 No.5019755 bump, this thread reminds all of us that we are not alone

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:02:13 2013 No.5019763 My lowest moment was the time I bought a bottle of Ballantine's Finest.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:14:14 2013 No.5019799 >>5019718 MD20/20 for breakfast. this was the dark time..

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:15:14 2013 No.5019804

worst moment of my life
>got super tanked after work one night
>on a barely wine kick and im drinking them like normal beers
>basically its like a 14% beer for nonbeerfags
>things get hazy
>apparently went to afterhours for hard liquor
>dont really remember that part
>wake up at about 7 am
>i am in my car. soaking wet.
>not wearing my coat
>its zero degrees out
>there is a thick layer of ice all over the insides of my windows
>i cant move
>my hands and feet are burning
>my arms and legs cant move
>labored breathing
>keys not in ignition
>cant tell where i am because of iced windows
>confused
>for about 2 minutes, i was sure i was going to die

>eventually found my coat in the back seat
>wrapped up for warmth
>found keys
>started car
>warmed up
>went home to super mad GF

i decided to let my GF just be mad at me for "staying out partying all night" rather than tell her i almost died of hypothermia in my car and i dont know why or how.

later found out i left the party before 3am, so i sat in my zero degree car for about 4 hours. i apparently fell in some snow drifts on my car walk and got covered with snow, which is why i was soaking wet.

never again

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:20:13 2013 No.5019816

>bombay sapphire
I heard that stuff is awesome. The only experience I have with gin is New Amsterdam (which was like $5 for 375mL), though, and I thought it was the worst alcohol I've ever tasted. Tasted like germ-x to me.

Was that gin just particularly bad or do I not like gin at all? I kind of want to try Bombay Sapphire, but I don't want to waste the money if it has a similar taste.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:22:07 2013 No.5019824 >>5019743 Shooting everclear is blast if you limit yourself to four per night.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:26:05 2013 No.5019836 File: 40 KB, 500x376, Fatal Glass of Beer song.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:27:05 2013 No.5019841 >>5019816 new amsterdam is really good for the price. if you want to try a bad gin look for taaka, gordons, anything plastic.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:30:05 2013 No.5019850

>>5019718
>>5019743
my freshmen year i got blacked out while downtown. Came to still drunk as fuck wedged in a trashcan. Yes a fucking trashcan, the one you put out on the street once a week. I was wedged in ass first, and so far down that only my feet were sticking out the top. After yelling for 20 minutes the cops came and had to pull me out. Spent the the night in the drunk tank and all the other dumbass freshmen thought of me as a party god.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:33:06 2013 No.5019860 >>5019841 So I guess I just don't like gin. Oh well. It is really well-priced, though. I had to drown it in cranberry juice, but it got me drunk pretty quickly.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:42:06 2013 No.5019878

>be 17
>go to metal "festival" in a barn somewhere in poperzenvögel nowhere in Bavaria
>drink peppermint liqueur
>drink random mixture of liquor, including disgusting east german brandy
>drink cheap canned beer, store empty cans near care to get the deposit back
>[scene missing]
>have ham thrown at me
>[scene missing]
>vomit
>[scene missing]
>"anon, we're going home"
>try not to throw up in car
>do not throw up in car
At leas that last part went well

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:44:06 2013 No.5019883 >>5019799 I've had MD 20/20 and four loko for breakfast. I'm still in those dark times.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:53:06 2013 No.5019895 File: 58 KB, 750x1000, 080480095604_8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I drank one of these. 3 day hangover Haven't really touched spirits since

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:56:07 2013 No.5019900 File: 11 KB, 480x360, 0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5019895 whoops, meant this

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:56:07 2013 No.5019902
File: 1.79 MB, 300x208, 1386976515913.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>was 21 years old
>friends girlfriend throws a "family friendly" no booze or drug Halloween party at her apartment
>jesus church folk everywhere
>hit it off with the girls qt roommate, she seems more laid back and normal than these others
>end up back in her room where she has some booze stashed away
>I mean she has ALOT of booze stashed away
>we start taking shots of random hard liquors, mostly Goldshlager
>we're both shitty drunk and getting along, lock the door and start making out and shit
>keep drinking
>and drinking
>and drinking
>nearly blackout drunk, I barely remember fucking this girl, only about ten minutes of it
>wake up next morning and try to sneak out unnoticed
>friends girlfriend is waiting for me and is LIVID, seething with anger
>Apparently we had screaming hollering loud wall banging sex for THREE HOURS
>the noise couldn't be drowned out by music and the party all left about 20 mins into the ordeal
>kept friend and his girl awake because we wouldn't stop fucking and answer the door
>had to buy birth control pill and got banned from the apartment until they broke up lol
>mfw I don't remember any of it, just the first few minutes or so of banging

Oh well. I had a pretty good Halloween that year.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 18:59:06 2013 No.5019909 right now. this is the very first time i've experienced the shakes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delirium_tremens i've never had these before. this must be from all the binge drinking i started at the beginning of the month.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:03:07 2013 No.5019920

>>5019900
i was watching a short mini doc on this guy, and he said he got a bottle of something called devils springs sent to him thats like 80 proof or more, and he had to drink the whole bottle and then he passed into a coma right after the video and it was the first time he was admitted to the hospital. still in debt because he has no insurance.

anyways, tldr,

devils springs, anyone heard or tried it?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:03:07 2013 No.5019923 >>5019909 Sucks bro. I've never had those and have been drunk every night for the last four years or so.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:04:06 2013 No.5019924 >>5019902 so you fucked your friends gf? or your commotion angered your friends gf so much she dumped him?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:04:06 2013 No.5019925 How many shots does it take for you guys to get fucked up>?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:07:06 2013 No.5019934 >>5019860 I find gin tastes like ass if you dont mix it with tonic, some people use OJ, so it could just be what you mixed it with

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:12:06 2013 No.5019952 >>5019924 the commotion angered her so much I was banned from her apartment, but didn't dump my friend. I didn't fuck my friends girlfriend I fucked her roommate. She says we ruined her party, which is kind of true.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:20:06 2013 No.5019974

>18 years old
>trying to get into some smoking hot 22 year old puerto rican girl's pants
>invites me to a house party
>never drank before in my life, super nervous
>some fags in the kitchen start asking if I do everclear
>have to save face
>"uh, yeah man, all the time."
>first shot is awful
>girl starts watching after one shot
>have to do 2 more to not look like a pussy in front of her
>get drunk and end up fucking around with a belt-fed nerf gun for the rest of the party
That's not the most drunk I've been since then, but it was low in that I went that far to impress a bitch.
I never did fuck her...

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:22:06 2013 No.5019980 File: 184 KB, 955x1273, 1386980565843.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5019925 Depends on the liquor. I'd say about 10 of pic related.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:24:06 2013 No.5019986 >>5019952 That party was doomed to fail, my friend. You just sped up the process.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:25:06 2013 No.5019988

>>5019974
My first girlfriend was half PR, quarter black and quarter Marathi (her mom was Jamaican, so her grandmother was British Indian and her grandfather black Jamaican).
Hot bitch, lemme tell ya. If that PR was half as hot as my half PR ex, you missed out.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:27:06 2013 No.5019990 >>5019925 When I drink I usually drink at least half of a 75cl bottle of 80+ proof rum/whisk(e)y/vodka and have several beers.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:27:06 2013 No.5019992 >>5019986 True. Hey, I had a good time. Maybe if everyone else took the stick out of their ass and had a drink they'd have enjoyed themselves and had a laugh at my expense.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:30:06 2013 No.5019999 >>5019934 I tried it straight at first and then just did about 10% gin and 90% cranberry juice. Maybe I'll try it later with tonic.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:39:40 2013 No.5020025 >>5019934 yeah it does, gin and tonic with lots of lemon in the only way I can drink it.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:40:40 2013 No.5020027

>be hanging out with best friend
>doing shots of fireball
>I'm pretty small, after like 9 shots I'm really fucked up
>he's still doing shots
>playing rockband
>he's singing, I'm playing the guitar
>he moves behind me to go get something
>spontaneously starts grinding against my ass
>holy shit I'm so fucking horny
>he moves away after a bit
>after the next song he says he wants to take a break
>he sits down on couch and starts drinking fireball again
>I sit down next to him
>say I have something to tell him
>blushing, admit to him that I crossdress and if he ever wants to fuck me or have me suck his dick I'll do it in a heartbeat (he knew I was bi already but I never said anything gay to him)
>he says something like "maybe later"
>both of us end up passing out within the hour
>he says he doesn't remember anything about the previous night in the morning
>relieved, that was fucking embarrassing

flash forward to a couple weeks ago
>he was smoking weed, texts me and tells me he remembers the whole night but he's not mad or anything
>actually he's really flattered because he values my opinion so much

still embarassed as fuck, that was the worst thing that's happened to me while drinking

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:46:40 2013 No.5020040

Oh, well this is mg kinda thread. I've been a heavy drinker for the last 7 years. Definitely a high functioning alcoholic. No one knows the extent of my drunkeness. Well, until last night. I've had brewing feelings for my boss. We're the same age. I got completely shitty last night and texted some very obviously flirty messages. Won't see the boss til Monday afternoon. Little worried about it. I dun fucked up.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:48:40 2013 No.5020044 >>5020040 fortunately, that gives both you and your boss enough time to not do anything hasty in the meantime. here's to the hope that you won't have to resort to banging him/her just to keep your job.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 19:53:13 2013 No.5020050

>>5020040
Your boss bro? Shit. What did you say? How subtle was it? I mean I semi flirt with my female superiors but its never blatantly sexual in nature, I keep it sort of light and innocent with some flirtatious undertones. I think they like it and eat it up anyways. If it wasn't to overly sexual you'll be fine, say you had a few too many. Don't straight up hit on your boss though man, if its gonna happen let her make that first move.

Also a very highly functioning alcoholic for four years now. Nobody knows how much I drink.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 20:01:12 2013 No.5020063

>>5019718
>be 18
>happy hour at city pub
>$1 pints
>'gimme x pints' (can't remember how many)
>fuck yeah, beer
>stagger out, hop on very crowded train to go home
>start feeling very woozy after train starts moving
>vomit on feet and legs of some azn tourists
>stagger off train at first stop and vomit 3-4 more times into garbage can
>fuck yeah, beer

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 20:03:12 2013 No.5020068 >>5020063 >getting drunk on beer I don't think you know what an alcoholic is.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 20:13:12 2013 No.5020097 >>5020068 Not him, but I've gotten plenty wasted off beer. Sure it took 15+ beers, but I got there eventually.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 20:20:12 2013 No.5020109

>>5020068
as defined by AA, alcoholism is the constant compulsion to drink, it has nothing to do with what, why, or when.

I was in a mental hospital for a while and some fatass came to talk about AA, that was what he said (meant to anyway). What he said verbatim was "can you stop after one?" which was awful vague. One can be a 120z'er of PBR or it can be a forty of steel reserve, or it can be a half pint of bacardi 161..... seriously, "one" isn't specific enough

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 20:52:29 2013 No.5020146

most recently blacked out at my favorite band's concert, reportedly i sat down in the bar area after one too many fireball on the rocks, got carried out by security and into the venue's back room where i proceeded to puke and dry heave. i missed the encore and it still kills me a little.

back in may got wasted at a mexican bar/restaurant the night i broke up with my ex, did karaoke, sat on the ground, knocked over the display drink, made out with some random mexican dude outside of the bar (he still texts me every once in a while, barely speaks english) before starting to walk home, then panicking hard and calling a coworker/mutual friend of the ex and freaking out on him til my phone died

a few times a week i'd get drunk, take the bus to walmart and other grocery stores and steal as much food as i could fit in my purse. got caught eventually, consequences were light and i didn't get into any real trouble. kind of surprised loss prevention didn't do anything about the fifth of rum in my backpack, lel.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 21:03:29 2013 No.5020152 >>5020146 You sound like my kind of woman. Would drink with and possibly date.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 21:08:29 2013 No.5020159 >>5020146 Wow, you're a real piece of shit.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 21:14:29 2013 No.5020168

been sober from sunday until a few hours ago, cold turkey off quite a rigorous daily habit, probably a record stint of sobriety for a year or so
i think ive slept about 5 hours total this week, feel pretty terrible despite/because of drinking 3L of 7.5% cider

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 21:26:29 2013 No.5020193

Bingedrinking for 5 days straight during a music festival was probably my lowest yet. Saw one band (can't remember shit) and spent the other days either drinking or lying around in dirt. I do not have a lot of memories of this except for the hangover which was one of the worst days in my entire life.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 21:46:29 2013 No.5020225

I tried giving myself alcohol poisoning by drinking 3 1/2 large bottles of cheap rum one night as fast as possible. I wasn't that heavy a drinker at the time and thought maybe it'd be declared "accidental death by misadventure". Instead I just blacked out several times, pissed myself several times, and had vision problems and sharp abdominal pains for a few days.

A few months later I fell asleep drinking all night, woke up thinking I was sober and had a full night's rest and drove myself to work. My coworkers said I reeked of booze and was slurring so I hid in the office. I went to the parking lot at the end of the day and I was parked diagonally in the opposite direction of all the other cars in the lane.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 21:49:30 2013 No.5020231 >>5020225 >I tried giving myself alcohol poisoning by drinking 3 1/2 large bottles of cheap rum To kill yourself?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 22:16:32 2013 No.5020285 When I was 17 my girlfriend and I got really drunk and had sex in front of our friends. It wasn't even good sex we were way too drunk.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 22:24:32 2013 No.5020311

>be 19
>working as removalist, finish long day, client buys about four of us 3 bottles of some brown liquor because he is lonely autist and wants company
>liquor disappears, as does clarity
>realise I have to meet girlfriend
>an hour ago
>(scene deleted)
>get there just as she is leaving (after like 90 mins!)
>she is not happy
>I decide we need to buy weed
>(scene deleted)
>standing in front dealer as he gives me speech about how just 'cause he's black doesn't mean he sells weed
>stare blankly at him
>apparently I am so far gone even this scumbag thinks I'm a liability
>give up and then try to fuck girlfriend several times as we walk down (crowded) street
>see other guy who worked on that day's job with me
>he is in similar state
>scream
>hug
>start brawling on street
>(scene deleted)
>arrive home at shitty boarding house I'm living in: cops everywhere
>proceed to tell them what I think of them
>they don't pay me any attention because someone's just been stabbed
>girlfriend drags me into room
>tells me it turned her on when I tried to fuck her on the street
>attempt sex
>pass out

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 22:42:32 2013 No.5020354

this summer i ended up at 3 different ERs in one month. once i called osme suicide hotline or something and they sent the police to my house? i don't really know how that happened. another time i just knew i was going to detox and i wanted valium so i had my parents take me to the ER, then after that i went to the county detox. which was boring. i met a guy there and then fucked him when he got out. then the third time i was really sick, i had a fever of 103-105 for 6 days. i'd been detoxing a bit, they did and ultrasound of my kidneys, aorta, and liver. it was all ok somehow. i didn't tell them i'm an alcoholic. they chalked it up to being a random virus, my potassium crashing, and gave me vicodin for the pain of the fever.
i have been sober since then. almost 6 months. i'm glad i got so sick that last time, i really needed that space where i just physically couldn't drink, and i could begin to clear my thoughts and piece my cognitive and physical self back together a bit. i've been in and out of rehab a few times. i hope this is it this time.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 22:50:32 2013 No.5020377

Chase Rice (the guy who wrote "Cruise" made famous by Florida Georgia Line) came into town to play at one of the local bars. I killed a liter of Heaven Hill whiskey with one of my fraternity brothers and blacked out immediately when I got there. I woke up the next day to a mention on Twitter saying "Shout out to Anon for thinking the girl he was dancing with was a stripper and tipping her accordingly." Apparently I took all my money out and threw it into the crowd and turned down a threesome with two ugly Phi Mu's.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 22:52:32 2013 No.5020378 I lost my virginity when I was wasted. So now I feel like I need to drink everytime I try to pick up a girl.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 22:53:32 2013 No.5020379

When I was 16 my friend's stepdad gave me two doubleshots of homemade moonshine that had been sitting in his mother's attic for a decade.

I embarrassed myself so much. Threw up until I passed out in a pile of his family's dirty laundry. I'm 22 now and I have still never been as drunk as I was that day.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 23:01:32 2013 No.5020398 ITT: degenerate western culture

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 23:03:32 2013 No.5020405 >>5020311 Pretty cool story. I could imagine it being in a music video.

Anonymous Fri Dec 13 23:11:36 2013 No.5020423

I've got a kidney disorder and have no idea if it's a related, but I'm such a fucking lightweight. I'm wasted right now after two shots of SoCo. It just sucks knowing my face is bright red and I wouldn't walk a straight line after two shots. Also number captchas are a bitch.

I almost never drink, so it works out.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 23:37:52 2013 No.5020473 >>5019816 Gin and ginger ( be it gingerale or just a simple ginger syrup ). Go easy on it though, and drink plenty of water ( good rules for any drinking nights ).

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 23:38:52 2013 No.5020476 >>5020398 Meh. At no point in my drunken adventures have I felt the urge to throw acid in women's faces. Degeneracy has many faces, fuckwad.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 13 23:40:52 2013 No.5020481 >>5019902 Y'did well and I raise my glass t'ye.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 00:12:39 2013 No.5020528 >>5019816 Bombay Sapphire is overpriced crap. Beefeater is better imo. Hendricks is on another level though.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 00:34:25 2013 No.5020567 >>5019980 >not just drinking a bottle at a time get on level

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 00:40:26 2013 No.5020572

the absolute worst... hmmmm...

>drop acid
>drink how could i possibly even know how much vodka
IRL i'm a tequila man and cant take even a whiff of vodka
>throw up in sink and it's the most horrendous thing i've EVER seen
and i've done a lot of acid
>gf and homeowner come to the door together
>gf lovingly says "bye, love you, stay safe"
>homeowner says "you're a fucking mess, i'm going to lock you in here"
>fall to the floor and grip it as hard as i can to not fall off the planet
>homeowner cuts breaker to bathroom
>probably 30 minutes but felt like hours
>raised atheist but this is 1st and last time i've ever prayed

now i climb 28' ladders daily so i'm constantly closer to death, but i've never FELT closer to death.

>...door locked from the inside

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:03:25 2013 No.5020605 >>5020379 >22 Are you american? Theres a reason why you've never been that drunk since.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:17:15 2013 No.5020620

>Halloween event at my school this year
>dressed as Toki Wartooth from Metalocalypse
>down half a bottle of Bacardi Gold
>get a swig of absinthe from my roommate
>there's a costume contest
>we had to explain why we should win the contest
>try to recite the "candy: tastes like chicken" speech from one of the episodes
>too drunk to speak properly
>there's a dance party later
>start grinding on people
>start grinding on walls
>fall down a lot
>start rolling around on the floor
>eventually have to walk home
>once at home, freak out when my cat walks on me because I forgot I had a cat
>eat an entire bag of popcorn
>wake up at 7am covered in popcorn crumbs
>puke
>walk back to school
>give a presentation for my 9am class with the worst hangover ever

I've never been pass-out level drunk, but I was pretty drunk that night...

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:18:14 2013 No.5020623 >>5020620 >dressing as toki I don't care what gender you are, I fucking love you. any pics of that costume?

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:23:14 2013 No.5020630

>buddy shows up to my inlaws and we shhot some pool.
>coronas and w/e thefuck liquor apper.
> poor shot in beer and chug.
>first beer I crack foams like a bitch.
>Quick! Poir in the shot!
> foam subsides.
> these things are delicious.
> fiance shows up later with mats for yager bombs.
>Oh shit.
> makes me a Big Gulp of yah-bomb goodness.
> everything is good with the world.
> me and buddy decide we need adventure cuz we bored niggas at 2 a.m.
> leave absolutely wasted.
> find a random house party and crash it.
> we walk in like we own the place through the kitchen door.
> see tapped keg and a few chads.
> buddy shouts "hold my feet!"and proceeds to keg stand.
>Asked if we bought a cup.
> WE DONT NEED NO CUPS!
> grab an empty milk jug and an orange juice bottle out the trash and rinse them, fill up.
> Who the fuck are you!?
> the keg owner found us.
> run off into the night forgetting I have a truck.
> laugh so hard at ourselves its hatd to regain composure to think.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:26:14 2013 No.5020634 File: 246 KB, 1080x720, Photo on 10-23-13 at 8.48 PM.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5020623 girl btw

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:28:14 2013 No.5020638

>>5020630

>locate and acquire my truck.
> night is going well
> get stopped by cops and thoroughly chewed out for drinking and driving.
> buddy says that's exactly why all niggers should hand die.
> cops laugh and let us go if we promise to go home.
> okie doke..
> Go to nearest 7-11 and acauire sparx and head home.
> wake up in my bath tub

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:36:14 2013 No.5020646 >>5020634 gross, never mind.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:43:14 2013 No.5020655

>drink a handle of vodka mixed with white grapefruit
>pass out in bed
>later on in the night
>i'm blacked out
>get up out of bed
>walk into the kitchen
>defiantly piss all over the dishes
>all over the fridge
>the floor
>everything
>in full view of my sister
>she starts yelling at me
>i continue to piss more
>a stream of urine that never ends
>peeing into the coffee maker
>on the stove
>i finish up and tuck my dick back in
>then go around the apartment unplugging everything
>ranting about "the americans" spying on me
>she tries to stop me and i push her away
>i smack her hand as she reaches for my wrist
>she's a good 12 inches shorter and 100 pounds lighter than i am
>i loom over her
>pin her against the wall
>she pushes me into my room and locks the door
>i pass out again
>this time for good

she tells me that i had a dead, vacant stare the whole time and that i seemed like i was getting ready to punch her face in whenever she got too close to me. it's pretty scary. though, i still drink every weekend, i'm afraid i'll hurt her.

>the next week
>get drunk alone in my room with the door locked
>cut my foot open with a can opener
>drip blood all over the place
>piss the bed
>sleep in my own piss and blood mixture
>wake up hating myself

if i weren't so miserable, i'd stop drinking.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:43:14 2013 No.5020657

I only ever drink alone at home, so it never gets too bad because at my drunkest point I just stumble to my bed and pass out.

One time, however, I went a little berserk after drinking a bottle of wine and following it up with a bunch of vodka. I smashed a series of glass items over my head, giggled about it when I realized I was bleeding, then decided I was hungry so staggered off to the closest hamburger place. Which would make it the drunkest I've been in public.

Then I got home, took two bites out of the hamburger, decided I was full, then stumbled to my bed and passed out.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:44:14 2013 No.5020658 >>5020634 cute for a chubster.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:45:15 2013 No.5020659 >>5020634 not usually into bigger girls, but cute.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:50:14 2013 No.5020668 >>5019920 Devil's Spring is 80% alcohol (160 proof) vodka. Most spirits at this level are refered to as "neutral spirits" because they are essentially just alcohol and water, with nothing in them to provide any flavour.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:53:14 2013 No.5020672

>depressed on my birthday
>drive to a casino in New Orleans
>drink free watered-down cocktails all night
>eventually get drunk enough that I go from buzzed to sufficiently plastered
>wander out into the French Quarter
>stumble around watching the parades and bands and craziness around me
>follow this woman around who's flashing her big tits at everyone
>wind up leaning against a wall
>a bunch of christian protestors take over Bourbon Street
>they get chased out by a tranny
>eventually some drunk Irish hobo comes up to me
>tells me that he just killed someone around the corner
>i get scared and get back into my car
>drive home half-drunk
>fireworks start exploding
>I watch them go off in my rearview

What a beautiful night.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 01:55:14 2013 No.5020674

>>5020655

Hahaha that shit reminds of bro I used to stay with. He would wake up and pee on the corner of his bed. I tried to stop him once, but when he acknowledged me he turned ti face me and I had to dive for cover to avoid being peed on. I miss that fucker. I should call him.

And by the way bro, I hope you get out of that funk.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:00:14 2013 No.5020679 >>5020655 Man, I can't imagine how shit I'd feel if I hurt my sister. I'd want to die, but I'd be held up by the realisation that doing so would hurt her more. Pretty fucked up.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:05:14 2013 No.5020683

AWW SHT WE TALKING BOUT THE POOR DECISIONS WE MADE I GOT ONE

>typical Halloween party at my friends house
>ratio of bitches to dudes is good
>smoke some bong packs with my friend
>get really high and decide I'm gonna play some elimination style game where the winner is the person who doesn't puke
>Tell the group about this contest and everybody starts getting shithoused
>1st casualty: my friends tucking pukes all over the place as he's rolling a blunt
>2nd casualty: both my alcoholic friend and my wigger friend puke into a campfire as it's lit and put it out
>3rd casualty: this bitch gets WAY too wasted ends up puking all over the bathroom and loosing her pants. Walk in on my friends dad holding her hair back
>4th casualty: my best friend looses at beer pong and just vomits all over their ping pong table. He ended up loosing his virginity to some chick that was so bad he actually took back his virginity
>by the end of the night I hadn't thrown up and was one of the three people out of the 20 who didn't puke
>drank 3 40oz's, a bottle of jaegermeister, shots of various liquors, and a shitton of crappy beer
>immedialtey puke when I wake up to my friends dog's pussy in my face

jaegermeister is not my friend, last time I drank that shit I cracked my two front teeth on a pool table because my friend called a local rap station and yelled NIGGERS at the DJ

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:05:14 2013 No.5020685 >>5020679 yeah, i felt awful. that night i shoved her and i smacked her, which is more harm than i would ever intend to do to her. i apologized about a million times and felt truly sorry, which is rare for me.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:06:14 2013 No.5020686 >>5020683 >he actually took back his virginity as much as one may want to, one cannot do that

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:09:32 2013 No.5020688 >>5020686 This pussy was so loose penetration may have not actually occurred. Which is kind of a let down because the girl herself isn't too bad looking

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:23:32 2013 No.5020703 >>5019804 Jesus christ, dude, I hoped you smartened your ass up after that. You were given a second chance at life.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:25:32 2013 No.5020704 >>5019920 That guy is seriously a fucking idiot. It's like his fans are trying to kill him.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:26:32 2013 No.5020706 >>5019934 Gin straight is fine. Worst for me is really cheap vodka. Don't even like mid-good level vodka much

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:26:32 2013 No.5020707 I've acted such a god damn fool while drunk, said and done things that I don't care to repeat. That fun comes at a cost.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:29:32 2013 No.5020710 >>5019733 >>5019736 OP here, yeah I was drunk as shit when I made this thread, I woke up drunk and kept drinking. I spent all day throwing up and I'm just now reading through the thread. Glad I'm not alone.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:32:32 2013 No.5020711
File: 42 KB, 257x264, 1367200009243.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>5020683
>last time I drank that shit I cracked my two front teeth on a pool table because my friend called a local rap station and yelled NIGGERS at the DJ
We need details.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:34:32 2013 No.5020714

>be 33, living at a family friends house post divorce
>ex was clinically insane
>in need of human contact, pick up a late 40 something woman at a bar
>go back to her place, way to drunk to function
>completely whiskydicked
>get into her hot tub in the back yard and lots of oral going on both ways. 15 houses can see the whole thing.
>won't let me sleep with her upstairs in her bed
>makes me try and fuck her in a guest room downstairs.
>can't. Too blitzed.
>next morning her teenaged kids greet me upstairs quite not amused.
>she drives me home with her husband on the phone who is away on business in China on the phone the entire time.
>not allowed to speak, would have anyway if I wasn't that hung over.
>last time I got got close to laid in three years.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:42:32 2013 No.5020719 >>5020714 classy shit

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:46:32 2013 No.5020724 >>5020714 Nice, I wonder if her kids told their dad.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:50:33 2013 No.5020727

>>5020724
I have a feeling I wasn't the first guest like that. I do have to say she was really hot though, despite her age. I also have a feeling he probably had more than a few how's in China after listening to the convo for a half hour.

I still don't think it would stop him from killing me of he or she knew where I was today.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:52:32 2013 No.5020730 >>5020727 *how's that is.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:53:32 2013 No.5020732 >>5020730 Hoes damnit

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 02:54:32 2013 No.5020734 >>5020655 What the fuck, man, come on. You gotta try to get your shit together.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:03:32 2013 No.5020741

Here's a few
>passed out after sex and peed on 3 different women
>have smoked crack on top of heroin
>driving down the freeway while rolling balls on ecstasy blasting techno with all the windows down at 4 am going 90 with 5 other people also rolling balls
>got pulled over and arrested at 3 am while high on coke on my way back from buying heroin

I have many many more if anyone is interested

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:05:33 2013 No.5020743 >>5020741 none of these seem to deal much with booze

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:08:32 2013 No.5020748

>I'm Asian
>go to NYE party at some rich person's house
>everyone is Asian
>drink a few beers and have two shots
>go up to roof
>a shit ton of people on roof
>they ran out of glasses so I just got a red silo cup
>drink champagne from that
>go up to random strangers and have them pour various champagnes for me
>drink all of it
>altogether I probably had like six or seven full cups of champagne
>go back to rich person's condo
>get super drunk
>decide to share soda with a corgi
>start calling people chinks and gooks and how they orchestrated Pearl Harbor
>get kicked out after

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:08:32 2013 No.5020749 >>5020646 seriously doubt you look any better

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:12:32 2013 No.5020754 >>5020741 Only 90? I wont even street surf untill driveranon hits 95. Or trade in that 4 banger for a six at least.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:17:32 2013 No.5020762 >>5020743 My he reason these events occurred is because I was wasted

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:19:32 2013 No.5020764 >>5020762 >buying heroin Yea you were gonna do that sober

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:20:33 2013 No.5020766
File: 1.48 MB, 215x110, Bobby Kotick drinks holy water.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Decide to go out drinking with two friends, because hey, why not
>Doing Jagerbombs + cocktails and moving to the next bar
>5 bars later I'm not even nearly tipsy
>My friends on the other hand...
>Have to walk them back to the hotel because it's 3am and god knows what'll happen to them in the middle of London on a Saturday morning
So I ask, what's the best/easiest way to get drunk? I can't seem to manage it.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:22:32 2013 No.5020771
File: 59 KB, 500x500, bread gloves.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>5020703
yeah, well. its been a journey

i have not gone on a binge like that since, its been a year. i have since been real careful about getting too fucked up. that being said, i got a DUI like 6 weeks later and it really fucked up my life.

then over the summer a buddy of mine did some shit while he was drunk that really got me thinking. without going into detail it was fighting related and someone got hurt and the legal consequences were real serious. He is in AA now and supporting him has really shined some light on my own bullshit.

The car freezer incident straightened me out on getting Obamaed out party wasted

the DUI straightened me out on driving

my buddies booze induced psychotic violence spree kind of took me home.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:29:32 2013 No.5020781 >>5020743 fucked up is fucked up yo don't hate

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:30:32 2013 No.5020784 >>5020771 I'm glad to hear things are looking up. You'll be alright, man. I'll never understand how booze is legal when this kind of shit happens and yet weed isn't. What the fuck is wrong with this world?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:51:07 2013 No.5020810 >>5020784 stupid dumb hippie scum detected

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 03:53:07 2013 No.5020811 >>5020784 Weed brings in tons of other issues, but none are /ck/ related.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 05:23:42 2013 No.5020882 >>5020572 >locking someone on a ton of acid in a small room jesus... that guy didn't know, right? who is the homeowner anyway? sounds horrible man

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 05:24:43 2013 No.5020885

>Christmas, 2012
>Me, my best friend, his cousin and his gf and three of her friends.
>Christmas time in Puerto Rico is fun as fuck, lot of family time, dancing, cheap booze, pitorro (our version of moonshine), good food, etc.
>best buds parents have a Christmas party every year
>His parents rich as fuck, live in huge ass house
>his parents always invite his friends and their families
>his parents invest every year at LEAST $3,000 to $4,000 on alcohol
>Pitorro available every year
>everyone drinking pitorro, coquito and rum and dancing and eating delicious food
>Start drinking at 8pm, mostly beer and a shot of pitorro each hour
>10 pm, clearly drunk. mother kisses me goodbye, leaves with my grandmother.
>11pm, most of the oldies start leaving.
>12 am, two more friends arrive (his neighbor and neighbors older brother).
>My best bud dad has a wine cellar in his house (not cheap wine, ACTUALLY GOOD WINE).
>12:30 am group takes two shots of pitorro each before heading to wine cellar
>(scene deleted)
>2 am, leaving wine cellar. everyone is clearly the drunkest they have ever been, we downed 12 bottles of wine between 9 people.
>friends parents go to sleep, and party is pretty much over, were still up
>proceed to drink what alcohol remained
>At this point it's me, my best bud, his cousin and his gf, her three friends and his neighbor.
>3 am, one of the girls passed out.
>(scene deleted)
>4 am, my bf cousin and gf leave to the guest room but her two friends stay.
>4:30 am my best friend is taking care of the passed out chick who just woke up, drunk out of his mind. ends up passing out next to the chick, who passed out again.
>His neighbor is hitting on one of the other chicks and they disappear
>5 am, left alone with the most intelligent and prettiest girl, but she's known to be reserved.
>shes drunk as hell, can barely understand her
>we do one more shot of pitorro each
>obvious flirtatious staring contest until we start making out

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 05:27:43 2013 No.5020890

>>5020885

continued:

>we lock ourselves in the guest bathroom outside of the guest room his cousin and gf were sleeping
>bathroom has bathtub
>mind blowing sex in bathtub, but we keep it as quiet as we can
>6:30 am, we both pass out
>My friends dad bangs the door open
>sees me naked in the bath tub with this girl naked and asleep on top of me
>laughs
>"get the fuck out of my house."

I don't know what worse, the hangover that felt that lasted like 3 days or seeing my buddies dad many times after that after pulling that stunt off.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 05:38:59 2013 No.5020900

The first and only time I got blackout drunk was when I was 14. It was awful since I disappeared for hours on end and my family was worried about me. Luckily my friends threw my body on to public transportation.

Anyway, fast forward like 3 years and I was going to a party. Before I went, I thought it was a good idea to get a milkshake beforehand. So I get really drunk off of vodka and natural light, and I start taking a shit. That's when I realize there's no toilet paper. So I'm super wasted and sitting on the toilet for several minutes with the lights really dimmed. The party goers thought I died, so I decided to say fuck it and just get up and tell everyone that I was okay. So I have an ass full of shit, and suddenly I start dry heaving and finally I puke all over the house.

That was my first impression on the people at that party. Also I definitely know that I'm lactose intolerant.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 06:08:44 2013 No.5020916 >>5019878 >have ham thrown at me lel

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 06:18:20 2013 No.5020922 >>5020890 M8, that sounds like an awesome night. Nothing to regret there.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 06:29:16 2013 No.5020931

>>5020922

best night of my life, hands down. But at what cost? Well, getting kicked out along with the girl at 10 am with the worst hangover I've ever had. But yeah, no regrets. :p

Afterwards (more than the usual) my buds dad hanged out with us a lot, and we became really close. He sees me kind of as a 2nd son, cause my friend had an older brother who died couple of years back and it hit everyone hard. I'm lucky he was forgiving, cause he jokes about it now (almost a year later) but I didn't dare show my face in front of him for a couple of months after that. Haha.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 06:57:17 2013 No.5020945 >>5020931 i don't understand why he would need to be forgiving? and you didn't want to show your face? All you did was bang some girl

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 06:57:17 2013 No.5020946

Got 2.

>Just had an orchestra concert
>go out drinking afterwards
>Decide I'll take it easy and just drink cider
>Get through 4 or 5 pints, buzzing a little bit but nothing major
>Get another pint, get coined (for anyone not familiar, somebody puts a penny in your drink and you have to down it)
>Get coined 3 or 4 times on full pints of cider
>Then start doing shots/dirty pints
>Don't remember going home, wake up the next morning to find I managed to throw up in my sleep without waking myself up
>Thankfully asleep on my side so didn't choke on it

Still haven't been able to drink cider since

Other one

>Go to friend's flatmate's birthday party
>Take a couple of bottles of wine and some beer
>Get through it all
>start chatting to a Finnish qt
>She offers me some shots of koskenkorva
>accept
>Don't remember anything else, apparently I did lots of shots and a few dirty pints
>Friend who invited me disappears for a while
>Comes back to find me face down on couch
>Goes to wake me up, finds me unconscious with my eyes open
>Wakes me up, tries to get me to drink water
>Start throwing up
>Had given myself a mini-nosebleed when passed out as I was lying on my face/nose
>Had obviously swallowed some blood
>Start throwing up blood
>Friend freaks out, calls ambulance
>Paramedics arrive, spend 15 minutes trying to get me to stand up
>I spend the whole time insisting that I just need to get home to sleep
>Eventually get up and into ambulance
>They take me back to my uni halls
>Warden comes out, I don't want to get up off the bed in ambulance
>Paramedics say they're taking me to hospital if I don't get up
>Warden shouts at me, I sit bolt upright then walk up to bed

I don't remember any of it apart from the shots with the Finnish girl. I got told what had happened the next day by one of the cleaners and the friend who had invited me.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 07:19:19 2013 No.5020970 >>5020528 but it has a nice bottle

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 07:33:20 2013 No.5020976 all I remember is puking out of my nose

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 08:02:22 2013 No.5020994 File: 348 KB, 599x900, 1372163651879.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] It's getting worse with every day. I realized I had some major alcohol issues about 2 years ago.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 10:53:31 2013 No.5021189

>hate my ex girlfriend's family
>also hate my ex girlfriend
>she insists that I spend more time with her family
>i have to pre-game before interacting with them
>we're all going to some parade
>i drink a six pack of beer and secretly down some shots of vodka before her family arrives
>her family arrives
>i am sliding into a very deep drunken state
>the parade begins
>people on floats are throwing prizes at the crowd, primarily the children
>i am taller than everyone there
>i start going HAM and catching everything
>the kids are probably crying who gives a fuck i'm the man
>ex girlfriend's family thinks i'm crazy and an asshole
>they want to leave and go out for dinner
>i just want to go home but they insist i join them
>sitting in their car
>i really need a piss
>"can we pull in somewhere so i can go to the bathroom?"
>"no anon we'll be at the restaurant in just a few minutes!"
>"it's really an emergency"
>"just wait it can't be that bad."
>piss myself in their car
>feel relieved
>"okay i can wait it's fine"
>actually end up being more talkative and funny than I would have been otherwise
>so the night ends with her family thinking i'm charming and entertaining
>they never realized that I was drunk
>or that I pissed my pants in the car

there was never a time that I saw those awful people where alcohol was not involved in some way

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:08:31 2013 No.5021203

>>5021189
>hate my ex girlfriend's family
Iktf, except she's my current gf. Holidays are a drunken mess of me trying to tolerate her redneck wannabe cousins.
The worst part is that the food they serve sucks ass as well.

I've never really been too bad.
The other day I drank 3/4 of a bottle of bonded old grand dad and played Rockband for a couple hours then fell asleep.
It was pretty fun.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:18:32 2013 No.5021217

>>5021203
oh god the cooking at my ex's family gatherings was the worst

>playing video games with her brother
>which is annoying and boring and i hate it
>but it keeps my hands busy so I don't have to eat her mother's awful cooking
>so instead she tries to be cute and starts feeding me while i'm playing
>only the dead know peace from this feel

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:19:32 2013 No.5021219 >>5020634 aw. kind of hoped you were a guy. still, not a bad costume

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:25:31 2013 No.5021229 >>5019841 >Gordon's >bad I like it a lot. Does that mean that I'll like "good" gin even more? Aw gee! Got to find that out soon, man.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:30:32 2013 No.5021234 >>5020109 >"one" isn't specific enough Guess he was talking about "one" you'd get at a regular bar. But yeah. Regular doesn't apply to alcoholics I guess.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:31:31 2013 No.5021235 >>5020231 >To kill yourself? >>5020225 >accidental death by misadventure Looks like it, man.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:32:31 2013 No.5021236 >>5020311 >pass out No, you fell asleep.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:42:31 2013 No.5021252 File: 9 KB, 200x200, 1232434545.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5021217

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:46:31 2013 No.5021262

on my last DUI, I remembered a bac of .375 and told people that for years. Later, the cops were at my house and said "Oh no, it was a .475" I said I think you are mistaken, and they said "oh no, it was you, we remember because we have your high score on the wall at the office"
but, no drinking for past 8 years so that's good for me and you

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:49:31 2013 No.5021264 >>5021217 >thanksgiving at gf's >dry ass turkey >dry ass stuffing >mashed potato soup >pre-made gravy >frozen swedish meatballs I filled up on pickled herring and deviled eggs that I brought.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:50:31 2013 No.5021267

I was recently sent to the hospital for being drunk. When the orderlies started manhandling me, I got pissed and went completely Mel Gibson. My /pol/ power level was revealed in all its terrible glory that night. I correctly identified and insulted everybody in that room from the irish (potato nigger) to a Nigerian, eventually pissing them off so much they sedated me. Later, I dismissed the shrink from my case for being jewish.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:52:31 2013 No.5021270 >>5021267 That's hilarious.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:52:31 2013 No.5021272 >>5021267 Good man. Fuck em all.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 11:57:31 2013 No.5021282 >>5021270 >>5021272 Well, I couldn't really punch 'em in the teeth for laying hands on me when they were holding me down, so all I had left was words. Luckily, I had quite a few cutting remarks to offer.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 12:03:31 2013 No.5021292

Either that time I stole a Kendal mint cake to eat because I figured that was the best nutrition/alcohol absorption ratio to get me really fucked for cheap or that time recently when I headbutted a painting and started slicing at myself with the shards of glass. After my school prom I tried to burgle a house while drunk, set off the alarm and ran like shit, must've looked like a really rubbish James Bond dressed in a tux.

Oh and last weekend I did the Goodbye Horses dance while drunk as shit on cheap vodka.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 12:28:31 2013 No.5021350 >>5021267 >>5021282 Congratulations faggot. You really convinced them with those hot opinions!

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 12:32:41 2013 No.5021364 >>5021350 butthurt nigger potato nigger jew detected

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 12:34:41 2013 No.5021370
File: 25 KB, 600x560, 1387042443711.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I don't know but one night sticks out.
>first girlfriend broke up with me
>usually don't drink a lot/have just started drinking alcohol
>drink 3/4 of pic related but different brand I can't remember
>mixed it with the cheapest cola available
>wallow around in my bed
>realise I have to throw up
>go into bathroom
>don't think I'll be able to hit the toilet
>throw up in shower
>thick layer of puke in shower
>drain is clogged by tomatoes and bread soaked in stomach acid
>"I'll take care of that tomorrow"
>go back to bed
>next morning wake up with a horrible hangover
>go into bathroom
>smell of puke hits me
>have to clean my puke out of the shower while feeling sick and with a horrid headache

That wasn't that neato but I guess quite tame compared to some of your stories

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 12:36:41 2013 No.5021376

Nothing too existing but

>gaming with friend online
>we're both getting pissed fucking drunk with some drinking game I don't even remember anymore
>black out
>wake up with a tube of open toothpaste next to my head
>get up feeling like shit
>step in something wet
>piss all over my carpet
>spend the next like 4 days trying to get the smell out

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 12:36:41 2013 No.5021379 >>5019718 >absolut with mango One of the worst tasting shots I've ever had.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 12:38:41 2013 No.5021384 >>5021364 >dear lord, the simpleton called me a racial slur, it must've taken a lot of effort to think that up!

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 12:39:41 2013 No.5021385 >>5021376 >existing exciting*

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 13:18:12 2013 No.5021468

I got a couple good ones

>20
>Get really fucking shifaced with gf
>Smoke sommo dat weed too
>Pretty normal evening just hanging out
>Fast forward to sleepy time
>Gf wakes up to me stood up pissing all over her futon sofa (and ruining all the leftover pizza too)
>"FFS anon go piss in the toilet!"
>mumble something like "uuurgh fuck you this is the toilet"
>Go back to bed
>She buys carpet shampoo the next day and deals with it
>I sleep all day

Another!

>21
>Go out drinking with some old buddies when I'm back home
>Gf and I are staying at my parents' place
>In my old bedroom after the evening out
>Gf waked up to me pissing in the ~4cm space between the doorframe and a cupboard
>"Stop pissing there ffs anon go to the toilet!"
>Once again give her the old "hmm uuugh fuck you this is the toilet"
>Manage to stop mid stream and finish in the toilet though
>Come back, snuggle up
>She keeps telling me to clean it up
>I'm just angrily shouting "THANK YOU!" at her over and over
>She won't give it a rest
>Finally open my eyes, stare her straight in the face and give her the finger
>Back to sleep

But my favourite is this

>19
>Me, older brother, two cousins from one part of family, two from another plus their parents all come down to my parents house for some event
>Go out drinking with brother and cousin
>Come back, keep grabbing beers for everybody
>Not everyone wants one
> I drink them
>Flash forward to morning
>I'm lying with my pants down on the sofa in the living room soaking wet
>Beer bottle in hand
>Think " damn, I spilt this beer, lol why are my pants down?"
>Head out to football match with the lads before the ladies are up
>Come back
>It wasn't beer.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 13:25:12 2013 No.5021475 >>5021468 yo quit pissing dawg

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 13:29:13 2013 No.5021487

>>5021468

Gonna share a few more

>17
>All my friends are going to London to see a band
>Me and a friend both have to work until after most of them are leaving
>Arrange to meet up and head there together
>Her mum gets us a litre of vodka
>Drink the whole thing on the 40 minute train journey
>Proceed to act like dickheads for the rest of the evening
>Smoking in the train station, somehow didn't get in any trouble
>Show up to the gig, gf and friends are at the front of the queue
>Hug girlfriend
>Fall backwards and smash head on bricks
>Get up and fall face first of same pile of bricks
>Only get let into gig because my buddies bought coffee and shit for the bouncers earlier in the day
>In gig, don't know wtf happened wake up in the medical wing of the concert hall
>Some African nurse dude takes me on a walk around all the corridors of the buildng to try to sober me up
>Out of nowhere get spooked and literally run away from him
>Lost for a few minutes
>Find myself back in the gig
>Befriend some Australian guy and decide to break the smoking ban again with him
>Shouting "Sorry everybody but fuck it I want a fag" and shit like that
>Decide to crowdsurf
>Nowhere near enough people where I am to do it
>Get passed into empty space
>Face first on floor
>Back to the medical wing
>Gig is over, go get a burger
>Go to work next day with beaten up face reeking of booze
>Worst waiter of all time
>Parents are pretty fucking pissed off at me too

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 13:37:12 2013 No.5021500 >>5021468 You should wear a diaper when you drink.

>>	FormerHeroineAddict !VJOf9vVc0E Sat Dec 14 13:52:12 2013 No.5021531 >>5020311 You didnt pass out You fell asleep And you arent an alcoholic, you just drank some liquor once This thread is for people with real problems who need help, not some faggot

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 13:54:12 2013 No.5021536 /ck/ - drunks without bladder control

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 13:55:12 2013 No.5021539

>hardened alcoholic of 8 years
>shitty levels of drunk at least 5 days of the week, usually 6 days. Sunday is family day, can't get too blitzed
>go overboard with Patron a few weeks ago
>black out for a few hours, wake up throwing up my guts
>oh my god it's red
>tequila isn't red
>this is it, I'm dying. I've fucked up my insides at last
>look at the foot of the bed, empty bottle of Gatorade
>ohhhh drunk me, you're so smart. chugging that jug of fruit punch gatorade before passing out

The cycle continues.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:00:46 2013 No.5021554 >>5021539 I hate that shit, when you eat or drink something red and then throw it up in the morning and freak out. I've done that several times.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:01:47 2013 No.5021560 >>5021539 >>5021554 Stomach bleeding vomit doesn't look red, it looks like coffee grounds. If you see blood in your vomit chances are you busted a blood vessel in your throat.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:03:46 2013 No.5021565 >>5021560 Anon, I don't want to know how you came to learn this. Well, I kinda do.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:03:46 2013 No.5021567 >>5021565 there's a book about the ebola virus and it describes blood puke as black and horrible that's just how i know offhand, dunno about that guy

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:04:46 2013 No.5021568

>>5021560
Yea I freaked out one morning when I woke up hungover and vomited blood. I thought it was all over, I was about to die. It ended up being a burst blood vessel from puking so hard.

Thank god those days are over. I don't know what happened but my body tolerates alcohol much better than it used to. I don't even get hangovers anymore.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:05:46 2013 No.5021572 >>5021560 Happened to me when I had all kinds of gallbladder issues. Was sick as fuck and vomited up coffee ground like shit into my sink and went to the ER.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:06:46 2013 No.5021574 >>5021568 Shit, if I vomited blood I'd have a panic attack so massive I'd be hyperventilating for a month

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:18:47 2013 No.5021601 ARCHIVE REQUEST !!!

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:18:47 2013 No.5021603 >>5021574 I hope you never get an ulcer. (Protip, it's awful)

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:21:46 2013 No.5021611

I forget. Seriously, I guess I am an alkie. but when I drink, even one beer or one mixed drink, I don't drive. cause I almost ran over some one. a child. i might drink, but you will not see me drinking and driving and that is no bs. nor willl I ride with someone that has been drinking I come from a big family of cops my Dad, uncles and cousins you get caught> .08 in NC its bad news. but if you kill someone, you have to live with that the rest of your life. party down, but hang up the keys first sorry, did not mean to preach. I was a nav in the air force. manditory was 24 between the bottle and throttle, best was 36. but even driving you need to be cold sober. because the other person might no be especially this time of year. thanks ck for listening .

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:21:46 2013 No.5021614 >>5021574 Dude I once jacked off and when I came I squirted blood. Apparently some burst blood vessel too, never happened again or had any after effect. It was pretty shocking at the time though.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:24:46 2013 No.5021619

Amateurs:
>be day off (Monday)
>drank with bros until four or so in the morning
>wake up at 7 because landscapers
>fuck it. time to drink (had been in a perpetual state of drunk/hungover for maybe a month)
>Drink half a bottle of whiskey, listen to elvis until 10
>walk to bar across the street, beers and shots
>make random friends, smoke cigarettes out on patio
>more shots
>forget where I am, completely clueless how I got to this bar
>get thrown out of bar for being trashed at 1 PM
>don't know how to get home (across the street)
>black out
>5 PM passed out on friend's back porch, no idea how I got there
>she asks me how the hell I got there
>don't know
>go home, go to bed, start drinking again
Good times. Maybe one day I'll go back to glorious alcoholism.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:25:46 2013 No.5021624 I've passed out basically every party I went to this semester and my friends always have to carry me home. I think they're kind of getting pissed off.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:30:03 2013 No.5021644 >>5021624 I would of drawn dicks on your face with magic marker and left you there. I'd be thankful for your friends.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:33:04 2013 No.5021650 >>5021644 I truly am, I just can't stop drinking. Also, you would let me lie in the middle of the street at night during winter? That's kind of mean.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 14:40:03 2013 No.5021665 >>5021650 No, because you might die and then I would be held responsible when news gets back that I was aware of your situation and did not help you. Has nothing to do with whether I like you or not. I don't want to go to jail for your dumbass.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 19:59:57 2013 No.5022606

I only had to puke from alcohol twice in my whole life, the first time was generic "too much, too fast" because of inexperience
second time I should have known alot better.

>Go to a christmas market with some friends
>haven't eaten for 6-8 hours
>just start off drinking wine
>prices are waaay too high, so we ditch the market and go tome some private christmas party
>drink alot more fucking wine without eating anything
>get pretty drunk, but party is coming to an end and I say my goodbyes to everyone
>get on my bicycle and ride home, sweer noticibly
>arrive home and feel pretty bad
>puke for half an hour then go to bed, set alarm clock to 7 o'clock, because need to finish that assignment
>wake up insanely hungry and with a royal headache
>eat some, drink some, mop up some puke pools in the dorm bathroom and finish assigment

It's not as bad as other people's stories I guess and funnily nobody noticed, but I feel it was a low for me personally, because it just should not have happened.

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 20:06:57 2013 No.5022626

I've got another, I posted one earlier

>was 18 or so
>had only drank a couple times before, never hard liquor
>cousin somehow procures a bottle of Goldschlager (I have a history of strange blackout nights with Goldschlager, I'm the anon that got banned from someones apartment for fucking too loud and too long)
>we're sitting around his driveway smoking up and taking shots
>I get really really shitty, first time hard liquor
>from what I'm told I just start wondering around the yard and neighborhood
>they try to get me to come sit down but I want to wander
>end up wandering the streets and leaving his house when they aren't paying attention
>apperently I had a few beers with me because the empty cans were there when I woke up
>next thing I know its the next morning and I'm outside
>I'm being tapped on and woken up by a stranger
>Squint and look around, I'm on the porch curled up in the swing of my cousins landlord who happens to live across the street
>surrounded by 3-4 beer cans and vomit
>landlord tells me to gtfo
>ends up evicting my cousin, they'd had a bad history and this was the last straw

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 20:56:54 2013 No.5022722

oh my god, first time on /ck/ and boy do I have some stories pent up

>3rd year of highschool
>close circle of friends are throwing a prohibition party, aka we all dress up fancy and drink nothing but cheap hard liquor
>like just glasses of whiskey at a time, there isn't a shot glass in the house
>start mixing vodka and whiskey because I'm like 16
then nothing, until...
>wake up at 3:00 am in pitch black basement
>discovering puddle of puke in bucket next to me, on floor next to me, on me, on gf sleeping next to me
>can feel more coming
>go upstairs
>house is trashed
>go to pee, floor is covered in liquid
>I assume it's piss until I step on broken glass and find out someone dropped a wine glass of vodka
>find out that even though I'm still fully dressed and wearing a belt somehow my underpants are also covered in vomit
>turn around to take a shower because I just feel disgusting
>shower's filled with vomit
>immediately turn back around and puke

that was hell

Anonymous Sat Dec 14 21:05:56 2013 No.5022739

>>5022722
MORE

>friends come to visit for a weekend
>find party happening
>start drinking lots
>wake up back home at 7:00 am with a hangover
>find out that I got really really aggressive, refused to let people play any music other than Death Grips, spilled a bottle of wine all over my friend's back seat (which has since given him a serious mold problem in his car), then ordered and ate 20 of Pizza Hut's hottest buffalo wings and described them as "the greatest thing I've ever tasted"

then lastly and on a lighter note

>last day home before moving back for college this summer
>staying with grandparents because mom's moving
>friends are all out of town already, nothing to do
>grandparents go to bed at like 10:00
>remember that they have a stupidly large liquor collection that I know for a fact they touch roughly 5 times a year
>spend the next 4 hours sitting on a comfy-ass couch, wrapped up in a blanket, watching hi-def TV, drinking unlimited expensive booze, and eating ice cream and chips
>wake up the next morning covered in sleeping cats and with no hangover
>cleaned up before anyone found out

Honestly this experience has helped me justify drinking so much

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 14 21:06:56 2013 No.5022740 >>5022722 Jesus christ that's disgusting.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:07:06 2013 No.5024416 >laugh at all the people pissing themselves ITT >get completely shit faced last night >wake up sleeping on a damp towel on my bed in my own piss I guess this is karma.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:09:05 2013 No.5024424

Yay this thread is still alive.

Good morning, fellas. I had a wonderfully drunk night again. Put away a bottle of SoCo. Shit was fucking nasty but you take what your buddies give ya. Plan on hitting the bar tonight because school is out for a few weeks so fuck having to wake up on Monday.Pretty pumped because even though I'm not a huge fan of football, I enjoy going to the sports bar to mingle.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:13:05 2013 No.5024436 >>5024424 I have a bit of booze left that I'm considering just downing throughout the day, personally. I hate alcohol.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:30:05 2013 No.5024474 i've decided to get /fit/, cutting down the alcohol to maybe a bomber of beer a week

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:31:05 2013 No.5024479 >>5019718 750ml a day vodka. Was bad. BP shot up to 190/120 for withdrawals but I stopped drinking as soon as they gave me my fucking benzos back.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:33:05 2013 No.5024486

>>5024479
Fuck dude, I've never experienced the really bad withdrawals, but I have gotten cold shakes, and I used to get really bad panic attacks and heart palpitations. I've since learned how to recognize panic attacks and calm myself down from them though.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:36:05 2013 No.5024495 >>5024486 what do withdrawals feel like?

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:39:05 2013 No.5024504

>>5024495
Well, like what I said. I've never gotten any of the really bad ones like seizures and shit, but they can put you in the hospital and even kill you if they're bad enough. I just get really, really fucking paranoid and jittery, but after a while you kind of just learn how to deal with them and calm your body down from them, I guess.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:42:05 2013 No.5024509

I'm more of an alcoholic now at age 36 than I ever was. I don't drink much, maybe 2-4 drinks a night but if I pass out with alcohol left in the glass I have no problem polishing it off for breakfast
The worst I've ever been though was in my early 20's
I wasn't really much of a drinker then just the occasional binge drinking at parties
I was at a friends wedding doing a fuck ton of blow & had somewhere around 22 drinks. Beer, rum, whiskey, wine. A little of everything & with very little food in my stomach
The entire next day I threw up nothing but bile
I should very gone to the hospital but fuck it. I couldn't even keep down water. I think I dry heaved about 12 times

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:50:05 2013 No.5024530 >>5019718 >started drinking at 15 (German) >lost memory once >had a hangover once (same night I got to know my current gf) >had to vomit once >all on different occasions >I always know when to stop >alcohol and I have a flourishing friendship

>>	Satan forthrsakeofconvenience Sun Dec 15 12:51:05 2013 No.5024534 >>5020741 Alcohol is funny and cute. Your experiences sound scary and sad. Feel free to not elaborate.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:53:05 2013 No.5024536

>>5024486
Its pretty clearcut. First you get anxious, some get sweaty, I don't. It progresses into foggy thoughts, you have trouble speaking eventually, delirium, then hallucinations, then seizures, then coma, then death. It does not feel pleasant to have that high of a BP but it goes away in an hour after proper medication and a shot of B vitamins. I withdraw quickly so its over soon but for some it can be more protracted.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 12:55:05 2013 No.5024547

Started drinking when I was 15. Always been a lightweight and I love it. Rarely pay for my own alcohol, people just give it to me because I don't need a lot.
So I was 16, went to spend a night at a friends house. We invited his brother who was 24 so he could buy us some vodka (have to be 21 in America) and we sat around playing Super Smash Bros. Melee. Whoever won had to take a shot.
After I won 3 times, my friend leaves to get some snacks. By the time he's back, I've won another few times and I'm just gone. The last thing I remember is eating spicy cheetos.

Apparently he told his brother not to pour me any after my first 3, but he did anyway. I vomited in an empty bowl of snacks, dropped a lit cigarette on his bed and burned a hole down through it and ended up being put through a shower by my friend after he kicked his brother out. When I woke up and asked what happened, he said "you weren't my little trooper".

That fag saw my dick.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 13:00:42 2013 No.5024562 >be small guy >be cute and long hair >drink every other day >always alone in my room on the internet or playing games >just want to try to go out to a bar and see if somebody will buy me a drink >hope they don't get pissed when they realize i'm a man

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 13:02:42 2013 No.5024570 Does eating before getting drunk really prevent you from getting as drunk as you could be?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 13:07:42 2013 No.5024586 >>5024570 It does for me. Especially if I eat a big hunk of red meat before.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 13:14:42 2013 No.5024616 >>5024570 Yes it does, but eating WHILE you're drunk doesn't make you less drunk.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 13:16:43 2013 No.5024621

>>5024616
>be 21
>obviously very worldly and intelligent, so let's do some everclear
>can no longer sit upright
>friends prop me up against a wall
>desperately try to sop up the booze with King's Hawaiian rolls
>nope.jpg
>what the fuck have I done

It's been 8 years. Never again.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 13:20:42 2013 No.5024635 >>5024616 Good show. That's what I do. Food tastes so much better when I'm drunk.

>>	Satan forthrsakeofconvenience Sun Dec 15 13:31:43 2013 No.5024662 >>5022739 >death grips Hey /mu/ how is dream pop December going?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 13:42:42 2013 No.5024689 >>5024570 It slows absorption of alcohol which in theory would lower slightly the peak plasma concentration of ethanol in the blood, so yes, but only to an extent.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:08:42 2013 No.5024772 >>5021531 That's the one post you decide to call out? This thread is clearly for dickwaving.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:14:42 2013 No.5024797

>>5024495
Drinking at least 3 beers almost daily since 2 years now, sometimes up to 20 beers or equivalent in Schnapps. I'd say I am moderately addicted. I get badly constipated, lose all my appetite and get shaky/jittery when I don't drink, also can hardly concentrate. Headaches when being sober, too. This fades away in about 3 days for me, if I don't drink.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:15:42 2013 No.5024801 File: 25 KB, 266x300, kcider.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Barely eaten in days, think I'm going to go and get some of these bad boys.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:16:42 2013 No.5024804 The worst part about drinking is the sticky poops because I never drink water.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:17:42 2013 No.5024807 >tfw no alcoholic anon to share life with and give him blowjobs I'm not asking for much. Just a small dick and medium length hair.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:17:42 2013 No.5024809 >>5024562 Sceak pls

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:19:42 2013 No.5024814 >>5024807 >alcoholic >to give blowjobs There's this thing called brewer's droop, dude. Ever tried wanking while drunk? More hassle than its worth.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:21:42 2013 No.5024817 File: 196 KB, 511x428, 1383697911948.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5024807 I wouldn't mind that.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:26:42 2013 No.5024835

>be visiting friend in ireland
>Holy shit I'm in fucking Ireland
>he has class till the late P.M. so I go do the Guinness tour and Jameson tour
>at the end of the Jameson tour you do a whiskey taste test (3 whiskies)
>no one finishes their whiskey besides some dude from Arizona and myself
>hit it off, end up going to a pub with him and his girlfriend
>a pub crawl comes up to us, the 12 pubs of Christmas
>decide fuck it and join
>no food in my system and on the 11th pub, realize I have to meet my friend at his house
>pound a last beer and shot, I think I said goodbye but I might have stumbled out
>remember getting into a fight with a taxi driver because I thought he was ripping me off
>ditch taxi, find myself at my friends
>black out at this point
>there was a birthday party going on, supposedly stumbled in after fucking with the lock for 10 minutes
>yell, "Holy shit are you all Irish?"
>precede to sing happy birthday
>passed out on kitchen floor
>woke up on friends floor 5 hours later
>he told me they dragged me and also that I wouldn't stop farting

Ireland is pretty cool

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:27:42 2013 No.5024836 >>5024814 It's called whiskey dick. And yeah those multi-hour jobs are okay with me. With your hand? Frustrating and it hurts the next day. With somebody elses mouth?

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:31:42 2013 No.5024848

Ive never really gotten drunk. Usually what ill do at a get together is drink a beer and then go to the bathroom with the empty can and fill it with water from the sink. Ill then return to the party and chill with my water filled beer can. Ill usually drink a real beer every hour or so. My friend knows i do this and rages but i dont care. You wont catch me a lamp shade on my head.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:31:42 2013 No.5024849 >>5024835 >>yell, "Holy shit are you all Irish?" Haahahaha oh god, picturing that is hilarious

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:33:36 2013 No.5024857 I have IBS and the amount I drink only makes it like 100 times worse.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:34:34 2013 No.5024861 >>5024836 You have a good point. Can you come to Bongladesh?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:35:34 2013 No.5024867 >>5024857 IBS is not a real disease. It is idiopathic, meaning doctors cannot find anything wrong with you. Alcohol causes stomach irritation, death of gut fauna, and eventually gastritis and stomach cancer in all humans.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:36:34 2013 No.5024869 Let's rock talk for a minute. If you do something gay while you're drunk and don't remember, does it count?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:38:34 2013 No.5024874 File: 15 KB, 430x352, 247070.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5024867 >IBS is not a real disease.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:39:34 2013 No.5024880 >>5024869 Of course it does, in vino veritas.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:41:34 2013 No.5024887 >>5024869 The real question is, who the fuck cares? Fuck whoever you wanna fuck, suck any dick or lick any pussy you want. At the end of the day it doesn't fucking matter.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:42:34 2013 No.5024892 I have the jitters right now and have been having panic attacks all day. Gonna hit the whisky soon I suppose.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:43:34 2013 No.5024893 >>5024887 If people really didn't care, then it wouldn't be such an issue across the world for the entirety of humanity.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:43:34 2013 No.5024894 >>5024892 Shall we have a shot together, anon?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:44:35 2013 No.5024896 >>5024893 >If people really didn't care, then it wouldn't be such an issue Exactly. If people stop making it such an issue then no one will fucking care.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:45:35 2013 No.5024899 >>5024894 Yeah sure, let's do it.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:46:34 2013 No.5024903 >>5024896 In a perfect world, religion would just be something personal and it wouldn't be brought out into the open and be such an issue that it caused literal wars. in a perfect world

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:46:34 2013 No.5024906 File: 29 KB, 450x270, cheers.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5024899 Done.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:46:34 2013 No.5024907

>be 17
>in town drinking with friends
>all spray our hair purple
>booze runs out
>pay a homeless guy to buy us a litre of vodka
>not drinking it in the city centre as too busy now
>head off to the necropolis
>last thing I remember is opening the bottle and putting it up to drink.
>according to those there I necked the entire bottle in a single go
>ambulance called
>I wake up in hospital with my parents standing over the bed
>lay off the drink for the next few months

Not my finest hour

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:47:34 2013 No.5024909 >>5024903 Maybe one day. Then again I still just date and sleep with whoever I want and I don't give a fuck, so I guess it doesn't really apply to me anyway.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:48:34 2013 No.5024912 >>5024896 Lemme suck yo dick then tell your wife.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 14:48:34 2013 No.5024915 >>5024912 Nigger I'm never going to marry a woman.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 15:09:34 2013 No.5024965 >>5019902 Fucking for three hours straight that wasted is impressive, hats off.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 15:10:34 2013 No.5024967

>>5024509
nice to see someone a tad older
I'm only 24 myself but I thought it was weird that most of these stories start with "I was 17/19". I was drinking then, too, but like any partying kid. nowadays its just plain old alcoholism.

>if I pass out with alcohol left in the glass I have no problem polishing it off for breakfast
I do this as well. nothin wrong with that.
not too long ago I went to my bud's house, noticed that I had an mostly unfinished 4 loko there, I just drank it. (when did I leave it there? probably 4 days before....he should clean his house)

I don't really make good stories because I never remember how my nights end. i'm just used to waking up feeling like I probably embarrassed myself the night before.

right now I go through a handle of popov a day (or two days).
that seems like a lot when I think about it.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 15:11:34 2013 No.5024969 >>5024807 I'm growing my hair out as I type this

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 15:13:34 2013 No.5024974 >>5024969 I hope you don't mind a long haired guy who will sit under your desk and make you keep your pants off.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 15:14:33 2013 No.5024979 >>5024814 I recently got a blowjob whilst shitfaced she got just plain mad that it was taking so long like sorry bb i'm too drunk for this shit but it feels good nonetheless

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 15:15:33 2013 No.5024984

>>5024509
>The entire next day I threw up nothing but bile
>I should very gone to the hospital but fuck it. I couldn't even keep down water. I think I dry heaved about 12 times
Goddamn dude, I've been there. I don't even remember how much I'd drank the night before but I hadn't eaten in like 2 days from depression. I was so sick it was unreal. I'd take a sip of water and like 10 minutes later throw up a fuck ton of stomach acid and bile, it was the worst.

By the end of it all my mouth was covered in sores and I could barely open it without it hurting from all the bacteria in it. I had to rinse my mouth out with mouth wash like 6 times and brush my teeth a couple times to get it all out. It fucking sucked so badly.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 15:15:33 2013 No.5024985 >>5024979 Kick her ass out.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 15:18:33 2013 No.5024988 >>5024880 Those latin folk didn't know about beer.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 15:19:33 2013 No.5024989 >>5024985 not my gf or anything, but we just fucked around for a couple weeks. we never actually had sex because I was too drunk, and that was my decision. just mouth stuff and all that

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 16:24:13 2013 No.5025090 >>5024474 >after beer Eh, nevermind

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 16:38:12 2013 No.5025135 >>5019816 My favorite gin drink: 1 1/2 oz gin 1 oz orange juice 1 oz lemon juice 1/2 tsp grenadine syrup Use fresh squeezed juice and shake all the ingredients over ice. It's super refreshing and just as good with Gordon's as it is with Bombay.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 16:46:13 2013 No.5025162

>be 20
>never been drunk before
>entire floor of dorm throws party
>drink some of the punch
>woohoo, it's been spiked!
>drink lots of the punch
>start rubbing against random chicks on the dance floor
>start to sober up, go back to my room
>feel ashamed of groping chicks without their permission
>never drink again

Well, not much, anyway. I enjoy a small glass of cognac once in a while.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 16:46:13 2013 No.5025163 >tfw I've been drinking a shot every hour Please, how do I stop being a little bitch and just kill myself.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 16:48:12 2013 No.5025168 >>5025163 Like, 100 shots that aren't spread over 100 hours.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 16:49:12 2013 No.5025171 >>5025168 I already spent my entire Friday pretty much passed out all day sick throwing up and dry heaving, I'd rather not go through that again.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 17:15:46 2013 No.5025232 >>5022739 Cats confirmed for preventing hangover. I heard from a friend that expensive booze combined with fresh sea air do the same.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 17:56:33 2013 No.5025340

>Super Bowl party 3-4 years ago (Giants vs. Pats)
>BYOB
>pre-gaming with my roommate before we take the subway over to our friend's place in Brooklyn
>can't find my flask to put whisky in
>"I know I'll use this rum bottle"
>drink the entire bottle of rum (it was a small thing; 375mL), rise it out and fill it back up with whisky
>forget about the whisky the entire night, drinking cheap beers instead
>about to head home and remember I have my whisky "flask" in my pocket
>in my drunken stupor think "well I can't carry around an open bottle of liquor on the subway, so I'll just finish it all now"
>staggering to the subway station and see the train pulling in
>suddenly feel everything in my stomach coming up
>don't want to miss the subway or throw up while on it because people will see I'm piss drunk
>"let's just do it real quick onto the tracks and then hop on the train! no one will notice!"
>leave half my body over the tracks and am about to hurl
>cop grabs me and pulls me away
>start vomiting on him
>he lets go of me for a split second and I run onto the train and start car-hopping to the back
>hop off the train at the last second, thinking I got him stuck on the subway
>he never got on the subway car to chase me and is just standing there staring at me

He was kind enough to take me to the hospital instead of arresting me or having me spend the night in a holding cell. To this day I think the Giants winning saved my ass, and I've been a fan ever since.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 21:38:30 2013 No.5025973
File: 26 KB, 500x375, 1353457618705.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>5020946
British people really put coins in other people's drinks as a game? That's so disgusting. You realize that coins get touched by hundreds of people without ever being washed right? They're absolutley fithly and the 7.5% in your cider isn't going to kill th bacteria on that shit.

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 22:56:33 2013 No.5026230

>>5019718
>On shitty cruise with GF
>Go to all inclusive resort in cozumel for the day
>Seasickness patch firmly attached still
>DRINKING
>Last memory was of GF handing me a blue colored drink, while I was in the pool.
>Next memory I am laying on the bottom of the shower
>Shower is round, the size of a large pizza pan, Shitty cabin shower.
>water is cold
>I shit in the shower
>No memory of anything after blue stuff.
>Still drunk.
>Try to clean up as best I can
>Get out and collapse on the bed naked
>Next day I am hungover, of course
>Later find out seasickness pathc contains scopolomine.
>mfw I roofied myself
>mfw I have no face

Anonymous Sun Dec 15 23:01:33 2013 No.5026245

>go to friend's house
>gf is driving so she's there, kind of weirded out because she isn't friends with most of the guys there
>drink 40
>drink more beers
>more
>friend goes to store for munchies, i ask for poptarts
>eat poptarts
>apparenlty ate a whole box of the poptarts
>drink more beer
>suddenly start feeling sick
>friends start playing some shitty game
>it is so bad it makes me sick
>run to bathroom, puke a TON into friend's sink
>everyone can hear me, starts laughing except gf who is worried
>she opens the door because i forgot to lock it even thoguhg my pants are downf or some reason
>shoves cup of water at me
>i start screaming SHUT THE DOOR SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR MY DICK IS OUT
>slam door on her arm
>water everywhere
>sleep for about 20 minutes
>start washing out sink
>puke again
>wash more
>crawl out of bathroom, gf says it is time to go
>friends are still laughing at me and the shitty game
>on car ride hope i dont't puke all over her car
>geg t home, manage to get in shower, fall asleep in there

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 23:04:34 2013 No.5026250 >>5026245 forgot to mentio i ate a dick load of taco hell on the waY to friend's hooueses.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 15 23:17:34 2013 No.5026276 >>5025340 lol'd I've been pulled away from the tracks while vomiting by cops before, feels bad. Then again feels good when he doesn't throw you in jail.

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 00:24:34 2013 No.5026433

Some of my finest moments were in my sophomore year of college.
>dorm on 7th floor of pretty tall building
>get hammered off of Zhenka ($9 for a 1.75l of vodka)
>pop the screen out of dorm window
>proceed to throw every glass bottle we had out into the courtyard
>start throwing plates
>throw microwave
>anything that fits through that window is going
>Blackout, mfw wake up to the sound of a maintenance crew with shovels and brooms cleaning up the courtyard below our window

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 00:30:13 2013 No.5026452

Last night. I'm 5'6", 120 lbs, had six shots of vodka within an hour at a party with my closest friends.

Ended up on the floor, completely comatose, couldn't blink or speak or move. I was lucid though. My friends were freaking the fuck out.

I was the life of the party before that, though.

Spent all day today hungover. I'm still hungover. Fuck alcohol. And fuck being too immature to know my own limits.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 00:34:13 2013 No.5026461 >>5026433 Something about this is fucking hilarious. I'm a sophomore in college right now and I do dumb shit like this every weekend.

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 00:38:12 2013 No.5026466

>been drinking all day
>go to friends house
>bong a pint of bacardi 151
>realize its my dad's birthday
>get dropped off at parents house
>clearly hammered off my mind
>sit around a camp fire with my family and tell inappropriate dead baby and pedophile jokes

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 01:52:01 2013 No.5026560 >>5025973 >oh no germs

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 19:21:19 2013 No.5028387 >>5020811 >what are pot brownies

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 19:26:19 2013 No.5028392

>be 17
>drinking at a friends' place
>drink pretty much an entire bottle of rum
>we decide it's a good idea to head into town
>meet some kids from school, try to impress them by opening a bottle with my teeth
>break a tooth
>get angry and smash the empty bottle I was carrying on the ground
>suddenly police
>they have a broom
>i'm sweeping the town square
>'where do you live?'
>point vaguely and say 'over there'
>somehow escape with a caution

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 19:41:14 2013 No.5028430 >>5021560 >>5021565 can confirm, I got too drunk and high on pills one night and spent the next day dry heaving brown and green goo. I considered going to hospital, but by monday I was fine

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 19:52:05 2013 No.5028449 >>5024907 holy shit are you me?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 20:07:05 2013 No.5028484 >>5025973 Literally no one has ever gotten ill from a coin in their drink.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 20:10:06 2013 No.5028487 >>5028392 what Do you live in a cozy quaint town in England?

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 22:19:30 2013 No.5028777

Saw a story about being on a cruise thought i'd share mine

>be about 16 on cruise to Bermuda with family
>drank a couple times before, only got a little buzzed/drunk
>oldest brother and his girlfriend smuggled bottles of tequila/whiskey on board by strapping it to themselves
>howthefuckdidyoudothis.png
>be chilling at pool waiting for dinner with the family to roll around
>oldest brother and his gf come by asking if i like getting drunk
>i try to play it cool and say hell yeah
>they tell me to follow them
>they ask the bartender for a shit ton of limes
>he just looks at them like and smiles and hands a cup full of lime wedges
>i'm wondering why we have these limes
>get back to their room, out comes the tequila
>here, we'll teach you how to do tequila shots
>ahh i see
>i give it a shot, this is nice
>do about 8 tequila shots with my oldest bro, his girlfriend, and my older bro and a last shot of knob creek
>holy shit i am plastered (keep in mind no tolerance, 16, not experienced etc etc)
>dinner with the family is in 30 minutes
>shit
>head back to my room so i can shower
>the short walk back i am stumbling all over myself since drunk + motion of the boat
>finally get in shower, feels like i'm in a god damn waterworld of bliss and good emotions
>get dressed and realized i don't have fancy clothes i needed for dinner tonight
>FUCK IT, Lamb of God shirt and jeans
>i show up drunk to the only mandatory fancy dinner/dress up night on the cruise with a LoG shirt on looking like a smug little teenaged asshole (i was)
>yeh waiter lemme get some of that lobstahhh heh hehh!
>very obvious i'm drunk throughout dinner, slurring words, being obnoxious/stupid etc
>parents don't seem to care since they're drunk too and so is everyone else
>professional photographer comes over to take family picture

And that picture is still on our refrigerator to this day.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 22:38:30 2013 No.5028815 File: 39 KB, 392x500, 1365940549912.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] can someone explain why fans of cooking are more inclined to be alcoholics hell, even I go on weeks straight binge drinking when the money is there

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 22:41:31 2013 No.5028826 >>5028815 oral fixation? same reason why so many chefs smoke?

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 22:45:30 2013 No.5028835

>>5019718
>got twisted off albanian moonshine at a wedding
>couldn't stand properly ,but tried to throw up into sink. fell face first into the sink and knocked out -- didn't know my name or where i was
>wake up in hospital, they do some scans, thankfully everything is okay.

Obviously it could've been way worse. Hitting your head is no joke, I could've died or gotten permanent brain damage if I weren't so lucky

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 22:45:30 2013 No.5028838 >>5028826 >oral fixation >drinking I dont think thats it but I do also smoke and smoking has given me an oral fixation I guess they just go hand in hand

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 22:47:30 2013 No.5028841

>>5019718
Dude like 3 weeks ago I was passed out hugging a toilet with my pants down because I had taken a shit before, wiped my ass and didn't have time to pull up my pants. Luckily it was a private bathroom at my friends place, locked and they have 2 bathrooms so it was fine, though someone did not twice to ask if I was ok and I was "yea".

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 22:48:30 2013 No.5028843 >>5028777 Damn anon. That day you became a man

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 22:54:31 2013 No.5028855
File: 463 KB, 300x188, 34554.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I had some friends come up my freshmen year of college.

One of my friends, let's call him D, reaches over the bar at this busy place and pulls out a bottle of whiskey and pours of shots. We get thrown out immediately.

We ran out and started to headed back to the dorms. Along the way we knocked over two porto-potties. Once we got back in, we decided the night couldn't end there. At around 2am we did rock paper scissors and I pulled the dorm fire alarm, waking up 800+ people and forcing them outside.

we were stuck out there for 3 hours as they had to individually check each room. Some kid ended up getting tazed because he was drunkenly using the elevator (everyone though it was him who did it).

at 6:30 we went back in and a friend pulled it again. people were seriously stalking the outside, looking to kick the person who did its ass.

the state bureau of investigation showed up and started questioning people. we had a hall meeting, and even though I drunkenly told friends that night I was a part of it, I never got caught.

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 22:56:30 2013 No.5028858

>>5028815
Fuck if I know but that's how it is and that's how it always has been. Back in the day, wine used for cooking in hotel kitchens was all salted - the salt had to go in the food anyway, and this kept the cooks from drinking it.

One time I was working an event, a Meals on Wheels benefit at Rockefeller center. Ticket to get in cost like $1000. LOTS of local restaurants were represented there, including the one I worked at at the time

Anyway, long story short, my chef went around to all the open bars at the even and fed us booze throughout the entire event. Eventually he got so shitty, he was YELLING at these old wealthy Manhattanites in tuxes, saying "EAT OUR BACON ON A STICK! IT'LL MAKE YOUR DICK GET HARD AND MAKE YOUR HAIR GROW BACK!!!" We were serving pork belly satay skewers. I'm not gonna name names or anything but yeah, everyone who worked there was a fucking drunk. Like, it's 10 in the morning, time to drink some goddamn whiskey and cook some goddamn food drunk.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 22:57:30 2013 No.5028860 >>5028855 Wow, what a gaggle of faggots.

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 23:00:30 2013 No.5028868
File: 8 KB, 221x246, 1335829809203s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>5019718
>get super fucked up with friends after drinking cider and gin
>loses phone
>punch a car (I'm very ashamed of this but I also kinda knew that I wouldn't make a dent in it because I'm skinny as shit)
>drop kick signs and fails
>have a swollen hand
>proceed to end the night by throwing up profusely and pissing myself while my friends are on the phone with my girlfriend
>probably lowest point of my life

Lower than the months where I was seriously depressed

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 23:05:30 2013 No.5028875 >>5019746 >>5019748 beautiful

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 23:12:30 2013 No.5028886 File: 348 KB, 800x1098, Miss_Piggy-Sexy_Hat.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5028868 Only one can get away with debating Kermit!!! If she loses, she turns him into frog legs for the Los Angeles crowd.

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 23:14:30 2013 No.5028891

worst was when i was doing cocaine 3-4 nights/week and of course drinking heavily while doing so. the beer brought me to the blow, and after a few scary and seemingly life threatening nights, i couldnt do it anymore.
my girlfriend at the time hated it, but in a way i think she liked it too. we were young, ~22 the both of us, and she would yell and scream and give me hell about my drinking and drug use. of course i told her to fuck off. but that kind of made our relationship stronger. she liked to have something to focus on outside of her own emotional and mental problems, i think.
i remember one night i came back from the bar completely fucking wasted and she yelled at me, and i told her i was going to drive to a friends house to get away from her. that set her off on a whole different level and she lectured me about how awful a person i was to even think about drinking and driving. i think i still drove to my buddy's house to get away from here, i cant really remember. what an unhealthy relationship that was.
these days, i just drink craft beer because i enjoy it. im from the west coast, usa, and i get spoiled with alot of fantastic IPAs. currently imbibing in sierra nevada's seasonal celebration IPA. absolutely delicious, if they made it year round, it would be my go to beer, but alas. anyhow, i love beer and i think 'alcoholism' is a strong word.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 23:14:30 2013 No.5028892 >>5028875 This reminds me of the time I drove home drunk and AS SOON as I parked my car and took out the key, I threw up all over myself. It was awful. Worst part was that I was already home free and only had to open the door.

Anonymous Mon Dec 16 23:27:30 2013 No.5028914
File: 46 KB, 200x398, sutter.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>be home alone at about 20
>was going to school locally at the time
>decide its a good idea to drink a full big ass thing of wine on top of several shots of whiskey while trying to be sexy for my bf on skype
>none of these plans paned out
>I woke up to a bunch of drawings of George bush by my bed and a picture of me drinking wine out of a giant tupperwear bowl on my laptop

The only good thing about it was my two dogs were very worried about me and curled next to me when I was throwing up which was cute
(pic related- the exact terrible brand of wine that I downed on top of half bottle of whiskey when I was a 120 pound 20 year old girl)

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 23:30:30 2013 No.5028925 >>5028914 >when I was a 120 pd 20 year old girl And now you're a 160 pd ham beast.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 23:32:30 2013 No.5028931 >>5028925 >don't_make_me_say_it.jpg

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 23:36:30 2013 No.5028937 >>5028925 I mean, obviously.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 23:43:30 2013 No.5028960 File: 268 KB, 643x483, Ep2_yuuko_mio_reaction_face.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5028925

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 16 23:53:30 2013 No.5028976 >>5020476 #rekt

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 00:02:26 2013 No.5028993 >dat feel when not drunk enough, but out of beer >dat feel when to drunk to go to the store and buy more beer shit, what do i do?

Anonymous Tue Dec 17 00:07:25 2013 No.5029003

>>5028993
Go buy more beer. You're not too drunk to buy more, I've stopped at the store after a night of drinking to pick up more to drink before, it's not a big deal, the clerks won't say shit even if they can tell, they just ring you up. Alternatively if you lie on your bed with the lights and tv off with no music, you'll go to sleep after 20 minutes. Trust me.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 00:34:25 2013 No.5029068 >>5028855 You should stop being such a faggot in your life, anon.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 10:40:27 2013 No.5029739 >>5021614 I did that too because I managed to somehow tear the lining around my urethra (the venus spongiosum).

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 10:42:27 2013 No.5029744 >>5021650 >can't stop drinking Then you probably should.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 10:44:46 2013 No.5029747 >>5019718 I'm going through about 1.75 of liquor a week currently, in addition to going out a couple nights a week. Pretty much up there with the worst I've been. I'm starting to cut back though, excessive lb's are starting to add up

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 10:47:45 2013 No.5029749 >>5022739 That last one is familiar to me. I basically did the exact same thing, minus the cats.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 10:51:44 2013 No.5029752 >>5024530 Good for you. A responsible individual ITT.

Anonymous Tue Dec 17 11:20:45 2013 No.5029784

>go on vacation to friends house in Louisiana
>go to random club with a few friends
>buy a shot for each of my friends and drink one with them
>night continues with random dancing
>get driven back to friends house
>so drunk I can't even sit up straight
>no hangover the next morning
>lets drink more! (ohwhy.jpg)
>drink a few beers through out the day
>have 2 bottles of wine at night
>next thing I know its 7 am
>first black out ever
>shirt is covered in red liquid
>trash can next to me is filled with vomit
>confused as hell
>never invited to friends house again

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 12:05:44 2013 No.5029865 ITT little shit heads talking about bubble gum.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 12:10:44 2013 No.5029872 >>5029865 What?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 12:24:21 2013 No.5029890 >>5028487 you're damn right

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 13:51:39 2013 No.5029976 >this thread I'm never drinking again.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 13:54:39 2013 No.5029983 >>5019718 Last night I got kicked out of a concert for bringing in a four loko. Maybe if the music wasn't so shitty they wouldn't need to rely on alcohol sales...ahem.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 13:55:39 2013 No.5029991 >>5029983 I tried a four loko on a trip to florida some weeks ago and that shit is pretty nasty

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 13:59:39 2013 No.5030002 high school i was drinking Bells whisky "secretly" more or less every day during my final year

Anonymous Tue Dec 17 14:07:39 2013 No.5030021

>>5029991
Not disagreeing but I can't really afford my medications and my blood pressure goes through the roof if I don't drink to some extent. My most recent doctor it turns out is on medical probation by the state, which he failed to disclose, I had to look it up, so I have to find a new one (also he is terrible).

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 14:47:57 2013 No.5030083 >>5026452 120 lbs?! are you a lady?

Anonymous Tue Dec 17 14:52:56 2013 No.5030099

Not me, but one of my best friends.

>His parents take me to cozumel with their family
>they pay for all inclusive, all you can drink booze and food
>We order 3 fillets each and a pizza for dinner.
>I've been hammered all day, and decide to take the night off
>He goes to the bar, runs into 10 fraternity brothers from another chapter
>They say he looks like a pussy and can't handle his liquor.
>He proceeds to down the 10 tequila shots sitting in front of all the brothers
>He says "Fuck you" and leaves.
>I watch him walk confidently around the corner, then starts to stagger.
>Throws up in potted plants around the resort
>walks into the room, throws up in his hand, tells me "give me a second"
>walks out and says "Lets hit up the bar!"
>We grab some drinks, then he tells me how he thinks black people are a completely different species than white people.
>tells me he believes in god.
>starts to cry and gets really emotional
>we never speak of it again

He also mentioned he got this drunk all the time when he was bored and alone at home

Anonymous Tue Dec 17 14:56:57 2013 No.5030103

I don't drink to the point of blackout much, but one time when my old roommate was out of town my girlfriend and I decided to drink a shit load.
>sitting around one night, decide to drink some vodka
>start taking shots, have at least 5 then we play cards and take a shot if we lose a hand
>continue until fifth of vodka is gone
>start drinking whiskey
>someone wins in cards eventually
>I begin to speak with a Russian accent, calling myself Vladimir, cannot stop
>we get naked
>about to fuck, then I say "I need to habe a quick puke"
>go to bathroom and throw up uncontrollably.
>wake up at 4 am on bathroom floor, decide I should take a shower
>girlfriend comes into bathroom, decides she wants to puke as well, but throws up in the sink instead
>sink clogs
>take shower, go sleep in bed shivering the whole time
>wake up, puke several more times
>horrible hangover, bathroom sink clogged and smells like shit
>wait 3 days for landlords to fix it
>make up fake story for roommate as to why bathroom is disgusting.

never again, though I did drink 6 high abv beers in an hour with my dad at my uncles wedding. went up to the hotel room and fell asleep on my bed, my head spinning viciously, I thought I would spin off the planet.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 14:59:28 2013 No.5030108 >>5030103 >pukes in a sink >clogs it >has the landlord clean up your mess It's not that fucking hard to take off a U pipe and get a five gallon bucket asshole.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 15:41:58 2013 No.5030187 >tfw I haven't drank for like 2 days and it feels like a week because I'm so used to time going faster while drinking

Anonymous Tue Dec 17 16:24:20 2013 No.5030258

Well.. there have been many "worst" points.
One that stands out is drinking a litre of Jameson and a slab (case) of beer while doing lines of speed over 3 days.
Woke up after sleeping for 24hours to find I was physically unable to stand up, crawled halfway across my bedroom floor, start violently puking stomach lining/blood before passing out again.

Anonymous Tue Dec 17 18:43:51 2013 No.5030517

>at college
>dude at a house party hands me a solo cup filled to the brim with shitty vlad brand vodka
>I down it in 2 or 3 gulps
>had been drinking whiskey on the way to the party
>last thing i remember is me back in my apartment
>on the floor of the bathroom screaming my roommates name over and over gain
>im naked
>wake up fuckin soaked
>shower is running, my lower half is in, my upper half is out on the floor
>go out into kitchen
>a pizza burnt to a crisp is on the table
>my clothes are all over the kitchen
>roommate nowhere to be found

shit sucked

Anonymous Tue Dec 17 19:09:53 2013 No.5030557
File: 120 KB, 640x480, 285.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>drink high quality liquor and party every day for months
>end up on stage in a go-go bar in bangkok, naked, having sex with some chick, on stage, no condom
>facepalm.jpg in the morning
>start drinking this cheap Thai whiskey, one or two bottles every day
>disappear into north east Thailand with a bunch of people, middle of nowhere
>get crazy prediction from a monk in a hilltop temple that i'm going to die between 2 and 12 years
>must be the HIV
>drink more of this stuff every day
>run into Cambodia, just because, crazy and drunk
>drink 1-2 every day every day
>more crazy shit happens
>three month wait to take that test
>living with crazy Cambodian girl, she freaks out tricks me into marrying her, i was drunk
>later, after more shit, run away and back to Thailand
>more of that shit every day
>take that test
>HIV:Negative. feels good man
>still crazy from that shit every day
>can't sleep without it for months
>start screaming at ceiling fans and the corners of rooms
>try to stop drinking and feels like demons are clawing at my skin
>two years pass, finally able to sleep.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 17 19:48:32 2013 No.5030630 >>5030557 Seriously???

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 04:34:51 2013 No.5031607

I'm not an exceptional alcoholic but here are a few

>Halloween with a bro
>dress up as mormon door-to-doors
>this will be awesome, decide to prostletize all night to other drunk people at party
>pre game a bit do shots
>both have large bottles half full of nestea lemonade
>fill with black velvet for party
>everyone loves it at party, lots of laughs
>stuck up bitch downstairs thinks its not funny, blows a gasket, friends restrain
>we both think its funny as fuck
>(scenes deleted)
>end up on back porch with a bunch of people
>chat up loner fat chick dressed as who the fuck knows what
>she's nice but nothing amazing, friendly
>get up to stagger back to my apartment drunk off my ass
>friend has already left I am abandoned
>fat girl asks for good night kiss
>why the fuck not.jpg
>she starts making out with me, too drunk to care
> stop, get up, fat chick's qt-3.14 black friend dressed as some costume I remember liking a lot is there
>time to leave (name forgotten)
>mfw I just made out with her friend and the black chick is a prize winner
>feel like shit cus there's no recovering from that
>wish it was her
>stagger home, cop drives by
>panic
>play it cool
>stagger against sign-post, strike a drunk-cool pose
>cops gives no shits, doesn't even stop
>make it home
>pass out

Anonymous Wed Dec 18 04:40:53 2013 No.5031614

>>5031607
>drink all I have in apartment
>LETS GET ANOTHER ROUND FROM LOCAL MINIMART!
>make it there, grab some swill
>pay
>leave
>I can totally do this
>halfway home
>turn into the side street apartment is on
>OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK
>DEM LIGHTS in rear window
>what have I done
>life clearly over
>Officer: you been drinking tonight sit (after license etc shit)
>me: a few
>Off: a few tallboys maybe?
>etc etc
>Off: where do you live
>right over there, *pointing to my literal building*
>Off: ok, I'm gonna let you off, just drive straight home
>HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH

Living in a small town has some benefits
I've never driven like that again, and hopefully never will

I'll never forget your name Officer Campbell.

>>	Anonymous Wed Dec 18 11:37:00 2013 No.5032032 How early is too early? It's 11:37 and I'm having a tequila sunrise. I mean, according to the name I'm 5 hours late.

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/ck/ - Food & Cooking