/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.5010144]

Does anyone have any of fatty mcautism posts saved

[Anonymous No.5010179]

>>5010144

[Anonymous No.5010184]

[Anonymous No.5010186]

[Anonymous No.5010213]

[Anonymous No.5012485]

Any more? They are the reason I come to /ck/

[Anonymous No.5012511]

>>5012485
there's one more about eating in the parking lot, but i don't have it saved

[Anonymous No.5012534]

Eurgh. There's...this.

[Anonymous No.5012538]

>>5012511
OH MY GOD I REMEMBER THIS. IT IS FUCKING CLASSIC. Must find it.

[Anonymous No.5012543]

>>5012534
At first I thought that looked pretty good, some french vanilla ice cream in coffee, mmm. Then I read it. Holy shit.

[Anonymous No.5012552]

>>5010144
Didn't he recently post on /soc/?

[Anonymous No.5012554]

>>5012511
Yeah that was the most recent one. I know there was some from last year or so where he had to go to a different McDonald's because he fucked up ordering inside.

[Anonymous No.5012555]

>>5012552
i believe so.

[Anonymous No.5012558]

>>5012554
that's
>>5010213
this

[Anonymous No.5012562]

>>5012558
No it was another one, where he had a crisis over having to fill his own drink. That's all I remember.

[Anonymous No.5012569]

Is it...this?

I went to McDonald's today and got a Filet-O-Fish combo with a bacon cheeseburger on the side. I was eating it in my vehicle in the parking lot and listening to an audio book when I glanced up and saw the McDonald's worker I ordered outside having a cigarette.

She waved at me and I nodded and had to wait 7 minutes before she went back inside and I could eat in comfort again. I don't think that employees should be bothering or even trying to socialize with customers outside of the McDonald's restaurant or drive through, but that is another story.

I went to McDonald's for dinner tonight and got a McChicken combo with a bacon cheeseburger on the side. As I was driving to the second window the same girl was still working. She was acting somewhat obsequious and attempting small talk when she asked, 'why don't you come eat inside instead of in the parking lot where it is cold'.

That really bothered me for many reasons. First of all, I don't want my routine or actions to be tracked by a fast food employee. Secondly, she should not try to tell me how I should live my life. I do not want to eat inside because I find it less comfortable and would much rather be inside my vehicle listening to an audiobook and enjoying myself and my privacy.

Overall, I think it was very unprofessional to bring this up. I should have a clean slate with each drive through visit, not have to get the third degree because I committed some sort of faux pas. Which I don't think I did, because I often see people eating in fast food parking lots. How does she know I am not busy going to work or somewhere in a rush?

How do you feel about eating in your vehicle in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant versus eating inside the restaurant?

[Anonymous No.5012577]

>>5012569
I also found this gem:

While I should feel flattered that so many people remember the terrible things that have happened to me, I am still a human being and have feelings. I know the anonymity of this world can make people forget this, but it is true nevertheless.

No, I do not have a girlfriend. Would I want a girlfriend? Of course. The last time I was with a girl was in grade 11 and the last kiss I had was at a work event. I am sure everyone on this planet feels lonely and companionship is what everyone seeks.

I understand that I am somewhat socially eccentric and have some social anxieties, but I do not think it exceeds the norm and should not be entailed to ridicule, loneliness, and pain because of this.

I am quiet, polite, empathetic, and a great listener. I am not sure why I am always subjected to such painful experiences when all I want to do is eat a meal at a fast food restaurant. I suppose the frequency suggests it is something on my part, but I cannot fathom why. I am always polite and professional, I do not want to be subjected to embarrassing small talk or questioned about my habits. Who does?

For example, last night I went to Wendy's (which is somewhat far from my home) and got a spicy chicken combo with a junior bacon cheeseburger on the side. When I was at the window to pay, the worker asked if I, "wanted to donate $2 to the Dave Thomas foundation". He saw that I was apprehensive and not answer right away and asked me not once but three times. Why would someone think it is appropriate to ask someone about a donation three times? Is my silence not answer enough?

I ended up shaking my head and that was that. Until I was eating in the parking lot and saw my receipt and he had charged me for the charity donation.

Why do people do this? Is this something that happens to everyone, only I am more sensitive and let it get to me? If so, how can people go through life without worrying about others doing these things to them?

[Anonymous No.5012581]

>>5012569
yeah that's it

[Anonymous No.5012590]

Does anyone have the one where he tells the McD's manager to fuck off and then has to spend the next month scouting out the parking lot to see if her car is in the lot first before he can go order? I enjoyed that one.

[Anonymous No.5012610]

please tell me theres more /ck/ humor shit.

[Anonymous No.5012642]

>>5012610
I love how we've found someone who's such an asshole, even /ck/ thinks he's snobby. That's like being called pathetic on /r9k/

[Anonymous No.5012645]

here is quinky sauce

[Anonymous No.5012648]

[Anonymous No.5012650]

>>5012645
I don't see anything wrong with that one really, other than I'm confused why it looks like gravy if he uses ketchup as a base.

[Anonymous No.5012660]

>>5012577
>>5012569
>>5010213
fatty mcautism
>>5010186
>>5010184
>>5010179
not fatty mcautism

[Anonymous No.5012676]

>>5012642
Hey, every single person is weird in one way or another. He's not just anyone's asshole, hes /ck/'s resident asshole.
And we love him and his OC. It makes us laugh, and people laugh when something is so tragic that all you can do is laugh.

>>5000000

[Anonymous No.5012695]

>>5012650
Punishing a child for not liking some dumbass condiment mixture he came up with isn't like "eat your vegetables", it's more like "we use canned cheese on our salads in this house derpdaderp!"

[Anonymous No.5012717]

There was also one about bringing unbaked bread to a work dinner party, and a fight erupting

[Anonymous No.5012719]

>>5012695
Im still surprised you don't have to pass some kind of test before you're allowed to breed.

One day, America.
One day.

[Anonymous No.5012743]

>>5012717
See
>>5010186

[Anonymous No.5012744]

>>5012577
you sound like an asshole.

[Anonymous No.5013715]

Any more of these? They were good.
The real ones anyway

[Anonymous No.5013735]

>>5012743
No, thats not the one. He brought unbsked loaves of bread to a work dinner party.

[Anonymous No.5013738]

>>5010213
Wow. This guy needs help.

[Anonymous No.5013744]

>>5012577
>I understand that I am somewhat socially eccentric and have some social anxieties, but I do not think it exceeds the norm
This guy is delisional.

[Anonymous No.5013745]

>>5010213

>debit card
>change

[Anonymous No.5013825]

>>5013744
He reminds me of me somewhat. I have to stop myself from correcting people like that, but it doesn't seem rude IRL, even though it did seem somewhat rude in >>5010179.
I also can't stand ordering food most places, I feel anxious as if I'm being judged by everyone in the room.Ordering Subway is hell.

[Anonymous No.5013872]

man that dude should prob just go kill himself

[Anonymous No.5014447]

Okay so why did half the thread just get deleted?

[Bleak !DPKFpqEOXE No.5014495]

Ronnie's Burgers

[Anonymous No.5014511]

>>5014447
>fatty mcautism is our janitor

[Anonymous No.5014514]

I always had a feeling this was him:


At work on Friday, my coworker was talking about how happy he was that his mother was visiting on the weekend because she was making her "special lasagna recipe". He talked about it at length and I told him lasagna is rather simple to make and I couldn't see it being that "special".

Today, he brought in lasagna for other coworkers and gave me 1/4 of a piece he gave them so that I would, "know why it is special".

It tasted like generic lasagna. He asked me how it tasted and had an almost triumphant expression. Knowing the answer, I asked him if she made her own sauce and pasta. He said no, but she spices and customizes it herself.

I then asked him how he considered it her "special recipe" when she basically assembled pre-made, store-bought ingredients. He tried to hide it, but it was obvious he was upset and realized that I had won this time. He avoided eye contact when he walked past my desk 10 minutes ago. I definitely won.

This experience has gotten me thinking: what do you consider home-made? Obviously I would not expect someone to grow and mill their own flour to make pasta, but there is an obvious medium between that and throwing together processed foods and calling it your "special recipe".

Discuss.

[Anonymous No.5014516]

As of 2 months ago it seems like there is a conspiracy against me. Every time I go to McDonald's, Wendy's, or BK and order my meal with a Diet Coke they invariably give me a regular Coke.

On Sunday I was driving 4 hours back home and decided to stop by Wendy's for a pick-me-up. I ordered a Baconator combo with a chicken wrap on the side and asked for a Diet Coke. I even said, "please make sure it is a Diet Coke" again at the end of the order.

I parked my car and was looking forward to the food. The Baconator was prepared very well and I took a sip of my drink and big surprise it was not Diet Coke.

I was livid and drove to the drive-thru, which was still packed with cars. It took 6 minutes before I got to the first window and told them my issue. I had to wait another 5 minutes before getting to the second window. It was a nightmare.

I told the employee (a young woman) my problem. I was a bit upset and also told her that this wasn't the first time this has happened and I didn't understand what has been going on lately. I also said I waited over 10 minutes just to get my proper drink order and this was ridiculous "service".

As she handed me my drink she said, "I wouldn't worry about the Diet Coke if you are eating a Baconator combo, it won't kill you" and smiled at me while looking at me in the eyes. I couldn't believe it, I was livid and ended up driving away without getting the drink.

I like Diet Coke for the taste and don't like sugary drinks, especially while eating a meal. Cutting the calories is an added bonus, but not the main reason. Why is this hard to understand? Why did she have to say this?

Luckily I was over 3 hours from home and will probably not be at that Wendy's this year. I emailed corporate and told them about this and am still waiting for a reply.

Has anyone else noticed a decline in fast food service or correct Diet Coke transactions since the fall? It happens almost every time it can't be a coincidence.

[Anonymous No.5014518]

Possibly Fatty McAutism:

I am trying to eat better and am aware that I haven't really eaten a salad or green vegetables in a very long time.

Today I went to McDonald's and got a Southwest crispy chicken salad and a Diet Coke. I started eating it in the parking lot and just could not enjoy it. I ended up picking at it for 5 minutes then just tried to eat as much salad as I could with each chicken bite.

It was the first time I've thrown out fast food before, and it was over half full. I ended up driving to another McDonald's and got a Jr. McChicken and QPC because I was still really hungry. So it ended up costing me a lot more for dinner than normal, which was vexing.

Is salad an acquired taste? There was nothing enjoyable about the texture and sort of bitterness of eating leafy vegetables.

Does anyone have any recommendations? I looked at the Wendy's menu and there are some interesting ones to try involving chili that may ease me into healthy eating.

Thanks

[Anonymous No.5014519]

Today was the first time in years that I went into a McDonald's instead of going through the drive-thru window. The drive-thru was closed, it was lunch time, and I didn't have time to drive to an alternative McDonald's location.

I waited in line for a few minutes before I realized I was waiting behind people who were waiting for their order. Waiting in line was felt really uncomfortable and I wasn't used to seeing the menu in that format, so there was about 90-120 seconds of awkward silence when I was still searching the menu while the cashier kept asking me what I wanted.

I felt anxious and almost guilty for ordering an extra sandwich on the side. I said I wanted a Diet Coke and the cashier just gave me an insulting look and said, "uhhh okay". I didn't realize until they handed me the empty cup that we had to fill our own drinks in the back.

I thought they would have packets of ketchup by the drinks, straws, etc. but they only had it in the pumps. I couldn't work up the nerve or patience to wait through the line just to ask for ketchup in packets.

It was a relief to get back to my car and eat in peace. I don't know why *anyone* would choose to order in the restaurant if they have a vehicle. It was just an unpleasant experience.

What is your preference when ordering fast food?

[Anonymous No.5014521]

>>5014447
Yeah, what happened?

[Anonymous No.5014523]

May not be him, but a gem:

Yesterday was the worst dinner I have ever had. I make a rule of not socializing with coworkers, and I should not have broken it. This may take 2 posts, it was THAT bad.

6 coworkers met at someone's house yesterday under the pretense of "Irish stew". I grudgingly accepted the invitation and arrived at 2 pm (when I was told to come). I brought traditional soda bread that had to be baked first. The host made a bit of a stink about using the oven when he had other things in there, but I told him I wanted it fresh.

The stew was still cooking and the host was already drinking alcohol at this time. In the middle of a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, the host tells me, "Please, no talk about politics. PLEASE not today". I said if more people talked about politics we would be in a better country, and he got very argumentative so I just dropped it.

I was drinking apple juice that I brought over and the host kept trying to get me to have a beer. He was obviously intoxicated and starting saying how maybe I would be relaxed and "cooler" if I had some alcohol. It was pathetic, like peer pressure from a high school TV show.

Anyway, at that point I became withdrawn and went for a walk. I came back right before dinner, and that is when the fun started.

He made "Irish stew" with beef, carrots, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper, hot sauce, oregano, tomato, and various ingredients. I started telling others that proper Irish stew should only contain mutton, potato, onion, and water, and that beef, tomato, black pepper, hot sauce, and other ingredients would not be available then and therefore it was a modern stew, not Irish stew.

We started eating and someone asked me about what I had said about real Irish stew. The host looked annoyed so I told him. He turned red and told me if I didn't like it I could "get the fuck out and take my apple juice with me".

[Anonymous No.5014525]

>>5014523

I was shocked and speechless. He left the room and his girlfriend (they are unmarried but live together) apologized. Eventually, people started talking more comfortably and he came back and was brooding and drinking more.

The stew was okay, but not authentic. I asked him if he knew that mutton was on sale at a local store and he flew into a tirade, bringing up any small error or faux pas I have ever committed at work. People were trying to calm him down, and I simply responded to him in a quiet and calm voice, and said that I appreciated his invitation and his "take" on Irish stew, but it would have been nicer if the company had been more warm.

He got up and pulled me out of the chair, stretching my sweater at the neck. He was literally screaming in my face and had his fist up in a threatening manner.

I told him I would call the cops if he hit me. He then told me to get out and take my "fucking juice and shit bread" with him. A second loaf was still in the oven with 7 minutes left, and I said I wasn't leaving until it was cooked and I could take it.

He shouted at me to leave or he would call the cops ON ME (imagine) and then threw the bread out of the oven on the ground. I was shaking with emotions and told the group that I enjoyed my time with them but I couldn't say the same about the host.

It was a horrible affair, but I decided to make authentic Irish stew today. It is simmering on the stove and I plan on bringing it to lunch tomorrow, one bowl for me and some for the host. It will be a subtle form of revenge as well as a way to show him that I am a better cook and am the more mature, forgiving person.

Any other stories of hosts from hell? People who cannot act respectful towards others in their own home should not have dinner parties.

[Anonymous No.5014530]

>>5012648
lol

[Anonymous No.5014546]

>>5014525
>>5014523
Sounds more like you're just a fucking prick

Oh wait, you got me, 8/10.

[Anonymous No.5014548]

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, but let's see if anyone remembers this gem.

[Anonymous No.5014616]

>>5014514
>I then asked him how he considered it her "special recipe" when she basically assembled pre-made, store-bought ingredients.

This is a legitimate point. I wouldn't expect everyone to roll their own noodles, but sauce? Pre-made store bought sauce? C'mon. It is one of the easiest things to make, even if you go lazy and used canned tomatoes, it'll taste vastly superior to store-bought sauces.

The rest of the recipe though is admittedly just putting together store bought stuff, mainly vegetables, but still there's room to work and make it unique. But really lasagna isn't something you should take a lot of pride in. It's not in the same league as making your own pies or cakes.

[Anonymous No.5014690]

To make it clear: Fatty McAutism is the poster that posts about fast food workers making him feel uncomfortable etc.
The guy that acts elitist about home made food hasn't been given a moniker yet.

[Anonymous No.5014778]

>>5014514
Holy fuck this guy buttdevastated his coworker lol

[Anonymous No.5014799]

>>5014546

>Responding to the author of a post explicitly presented as copypasta

You are retarded.

I really mean that. You are one of the stupidest people.

[Anonymous No.5014806]

>>5014514
His mom is probably Sandra Lee.

[Anonymous No.5015119]

>>5014806
>iceburn.fasta

[Anonymous No.5015150]

>>5012676

yfw that get was literally 'fatty mcautism'

[Anonymous No.5015180]

>>5014548
oh my god I'm doing I don't even know how that's possible

[Anonymous No.5015213]

>celebrity threads
You guys aren't discussing food, you guys are discussing autism. This is /b/ material.

[Anonymous No.5015502]

>>5014516
I'm diabetic and I can only have diet, I don't drink pop that often but I'd be pretty pissed if I didn't get diet

[Anonymous No.5015555]

>>5015213
Give it a break would you? The posts are funny and he doesn't even use a trip nor do we know what he looks like. If you ask me it's more like a saintly suffering pariah of fast food.

[Anonymous No.5015562]

>>5014511
How do I make that..

[Anonymous No.5015567]

Wait a minute, is this the same tupperware guy from /r9k/?

[Anonymous No.5015639]

>>5015567
The tupperware guy doesn't last for more than two sentences without punctuation just like this

He's also more delusionally confrontational than Fatty McAutist, who is more socially anxious.

[Anonymous No.5015736]

whats with all the deleted posts?

[Anonymous No.5015915]

>>5015567
I had the same feeling at first. But if you read Dr. Eugene posts and Fatty McAutist posts side by side, they don't seem to be the same person.

[Anonymous No.5016320]

>>5015736
Yeah I was wondering too.

[Anonymous No.5016340]

>>5014616
How is making a pie much different? The majority of pies are no harder to make than lasagna.

[Anonymous No.5016344]

>>5016340
Most people don't use pre-made pie filling. That's just reserved for white trash and retards.

[Anonymous No.5016348]

>>5014548
i don't get it

[Anonymous No.5016353]

>>5016348
They put a rush on those nachos.

[Anonymous No.5016352]

>>5016344
Yeah, and?

I don't get why you think making a good pie is something to be proud of but making a good lasagna isn't, when they're about the same difficulty level.

[Anonymous No.5017112]

>>5016352
Nah man making a pie's a lot harder. Dough and shit is real picky in how you gotta work with it, get the flakeyness factor just right, moisten it right, and that's the crust alone, which is useless unless you got a stellar filling too.

Lasagna you just pour some sauce in a pan, lay on some noodles, throw on your fillings, repeat to make some layers and you're done. It's basically just a more time consuming sandwich, only with sheets of noodles instead of bread. It takes no effort.

[Anonymous No.5017135]

>>5017112

Why are you spending so much care on the pie but not the lasagna? You seem content to use pre-made pasta and sauce, but make your pie crust from scratch?

I submit the opposite argument:

Pies are easy. All you do is buy a frozen crust, dump a can of filling in there and bake it.

Lasagna is hard. First you have to saute the pancetta and the sofrito to get the sauce going. Then san marzano tomatoes and the proper wine, simmered for hours until it's the right flavor and consistency. Then you've got to make the pasta, lots of cranking on the pasta machine. The pasta needs to dry, meanwhile you curdle your own Buffalo milk mozzarella. You also need to make the Bechamel as a base for the cheese sauce, complete the sauce by combining the mozzarella with the Bechamel, assemble carefully to make sure the layers are of consistent thickness and shape.....

[Anonymous No.5017180]

>>5017135
>using a pasta machine
>drying your pasta

[Anonymous No.5017186]

>>5017180

Irrelevant to the point bro.

[Anonymous No.5017191]

>>5017135
Well for one I am arguing AGAINST using pre-made sauces, so you're wrong there. The end result of pre-made pasta versus home made is negligible in terms of flavor when you have so many others flavors present in the lasagna. For pie crust a majority of the flavor comes for the crust, so it is simply wrong to skimp on it and buy a frozen crust. Also making a bechamel takes all of 5 minutes, it's not some ancient rustic art that requires a ceremony. Obviously you're exaggerating how hard it is to make a lasagna, but I make them all the time and they are really quite simple. On the other hand it is very easy to screw up pie dough.

[Anonymous No.5017211]

>>Obviously you're exaggerating how hard it is to make a lasagna

I'm using the same level of description that you used in your description of making a pie.

[Anonymous No.5017218]

>>5017211
Not really. Pie crust isn't like pizza crust where you can just throw some flour and water together, mash it up, and cook it after 30 minutes. Pies are a lot more delicate. I went through a ton of pie crusts starting out which were too thick and gooey in the middle because I didn't treat them right.

[Anonymous No.5017448]

>>5017218
A pizza isn't made in 30 minutes. The best dough has to be kneaded, rolled, oiled, and left to rise.

Pie crust is throwing some flour, water, and butter together - it's not nearly as strenuous as puff pastry dough.

[Anonymous No.5017451]

>>5017448
Or whatever cold fat you're using