/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.4981218]

Some friends and myself are planning a Lord of the Rings marathon next weekend and we want to cook "authentic" food from middle earth, mostly as snacks. I am planning some meatpies, some sweet seedcakes and stuff, but i wondered if anyone of you had some great ideas what else we could do. For the drinks i'm thinking about tea, dark ale and mead. Any ideas?

[Anonymous No.4981225]

>>4981218
This is a very very long shot, but I'll post it anyway.
During the times of Second Edition Dungeons and Dragons in the Game setting known as The Forgotten Realms. They printed a series of books known as The Volo's guides. These books actually had recipes in them. Things that are very middle earth like. Unfortunately I no longer have those books. Otherwise I would post those for you anon. If you search the internet I am sure you can find them. I've made a few and they are pretty good.

[The Mod's Bitch No.4981226]

>>4981218

I don't know. I fall asleep within 20 minutes of LOTR. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be inconvenient.

[Anonymous No.4981229]

Thanks so far! I'm to look for these.

[Anonymous No.4981236]

I also thought of some cold chicken and/or pork sandwiches. Roasted Bacon and maybe some eggs (with batter around it, in a muffiniron)

[Anonymous No.4981239]

>>4981229
These are the titles of the specific books
Volo's Guide to All Things Magical
Volo’s Guide to the Lands of Intrigue
Volo's Guide to the Dalelands
Volo's Guide to Cormyr
Volo's Guide to the Sword Coast
Volo's Guide to the North
Volo's Guide to Waterdeep

[Anonymous No.4981241]

>>4981218
Old English food.
/thread

[Anonymous No.4981251]

>>4981239
thanks!

[Anonymous No.4981255]

>>4981251
You're welcome.

[Anonymous No.4981263]

Get some weed too. The hobbits loved a bit of old Toby

[Anonymous No.4981264]

Deep fried hobbitses?

[Anonymous No.4981304]

>>4981263
That's pipe tobacco you mong, which Tolkien himself smoked.
I know stoners love the LOTR but seriously...?

[Anonymous No.4981326]

seriously? lotr. I was assigned reading it as reading. k. guess what. read all three with in 4 days. a lot is allegory, or not. the hobbit is actually very short. a preqeuel. and a nice thing. the movies deviated. and a good thing. were i to atempt that , I would get some sardines smegol or golum some cheese and bread and apples, and be ready. or not. a knock on the door an uneventful journey, ya thoink? I amnot in a hurry to see it. strech....ing it out. desolation of smuuag? if any one can pull that off its peter jackson and sir ian ( gandalf) lot of good stuff, but .. travel light, and expect the unexpected bread an chesse and ale. and though neverrmind a knock and an and an unexpected journey. might go see it my self. thanks

[Anonymous No.4981334]

>>4981241
so boil everything for 20 hours then mash it up?

[Anonymous No.4981367]

>>4981239
Aw, Volo's guide. I still remember my old plan of leading a campaign through Faerun, and as the PC's progressed through cities, I'd serve the players breaktime meals based on the local fares of the locations.

Of course, it collided with the realization that Ed Greenwood can't fucking cook.

[Anonymous No.4981378]

Googled this Lembasbread recipe, doesn't sound bad:

3 eggs
1 c. honey
3 kumquats, whole (can substitute orange zest and a bit of juice if desired)
2 tsp. orange flower or rose water (optional)
3 oz. chopped almonds or macadamia nuts (fruits of the Mallorn tree)
¼ c. melted butter
2 ¼ c. flour (barley flour of you want to be really accurate)
½ tsp. salt
Banana leaves

Directions
Put the eggs, butter, honey, kumquats, rose or orange flower water, and nuts in a food processor or blender. Blend on high for 2-4 minutes. Add 1 cup of the flour. Blend for a minute or two. Put mixture into a bowl and add the remaining flour and the salt. Whisk or stir until well blended. Bake a small amount of dough (about two tablespoons) at a time on a pizzelle or iron about 15 seconds or until lightly brown, for a flat bread like texture. They can also be baked at 350 degrees for about 10-15 minutes. Wrap in a leaf and tie with a string!

[Anonymous No.4981389]

What you need is a few good taters.

[Anonymous No.4981400]

>>4981334
No, silly, only the vegetables like that. Roast the meats on a spit and mic with a combination of spices and roots from the middle east of middle earth. Serve the fish with way too much sugar, preferably pilchards and eels. ale even for the children.

[Anonymous No.4981410]

>>4981326
Use proper grammar, you homosexual Nazi nigger spic Jew horsefucker pedo autist furry!

[Anonymous No.4981411]

>>4981218
Actually I'm not a LOTR fan but I like the idea od serving dishes that would cater to each race's taste. Perhaps with limited use of New World ingredients as it seems rather unMiddleEarthian.

[Anonymous No.4981414]

>>4981218
I would suggest playing soggy biscuit to celebrate the heavy homoerotic implications of the movie.

[Anonymous No.4981415]

>>4981411
Sounds nice, i might consider that

[Anonymous No.4981474]

MEATS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS

[Anonymous No.4981513]

Midget boiled in a burlap sack. Troll food.

[Anonymous No.4981557]

Just look up Medieval Tavern food.

[Anonymous No.4981561]

[Anonymous No.4981566]

[Anonymous No.4981572]

a few rotted potatoes to eat, some yeast water to drink, and you're all set!

[Anonymous No.4981583]

>>4981572
One rotten potato per person to be pricise.

[Anonymous No.4981805]

Hobbit Hole menu at Denny's

[Anonymous No.4981820]

>>4981561
fucking delicious

[Anonymous No.4981826]

>>4981572

[Anonymous No.4981887]

if you plan on doing this without weed, youll get bored within first 30 mins

[Anonymous No.4981973]

>>4981805
you'll miss the entire movie because you'll have acid shits for three hours if you eat at Denny's, m8

[Anonymous No.4982351]

> Volo's Guide to the North

ftp://ftp.srk.fer.hr/pub/ad&d/Realms/tsr9393.pdf
*********************************
...
I dined on quail smoked with applewood, and then cast away a reckless 16 gp for a roast of sizzling panther meat -- prized highly by gourmands of the North. This was followed by rothé steak cooked in wine and nuts. Next came venison, mountain mutton served with pickles and a spicy sauce, silvertail (the large salmon-like fish of the coldest northern rivers), sipping salvers* of wild turkey broth, and finally platters of grouse and smaller wildfowl, as well as hares and the tails of beavers.
....

*These pewter vessels come on their own trays. They are usually full of a broth, stew, or a dessert of cream and chopped fruit afloat in a sherry or other fortified wine. They resemble, from what Elminster showed me, our own gravy boats. They're shaped for pouring, with a mug-like handle. The diner lifts the spout to his mouth, tilts the salver, and lets swallows of the semiliquid food down his throat. A cloth napkin is usually provided on the tray for catching chin-drips.

[Anonymous No.4982366]

>Volo's Guide to Cormyr

ftp://ftp.srk.fer.hr/pub/ad&d/Realms/tsr9486.pdf
******************************************
Blentra's Cider and Vinegar Oyster Sauce

1 large greenheart apple*
2 shallots, or a handful of scallions
1 half-cup vinegar (soured red wine)
1 half-cup apple cider
1 pour of zzar or almond sherry
1 spoon of crushed black peppers
1 pinch dried mustard

Do ye peel and core the apple, then dice it in a bowl. Then mash in the pepper and mustard. Drizzle the vinegar over it and let stand while ye trim and mince the shallots. Scrap the shallots into the bowl, pour in the rest of the ingredients (zzar last), and mix thoroughly. Chill for an hour, stir once more, and spoon as needed over oysters chilled on the half-shell.
*******************************************
Here's what you can expect to find:
- Sliced roast beef
- Roast mutton
- Spitted fowl*
- Milk porridge
- Arabellan cheddar cheese
- Goat's milk cheese
- Hot bread
- Snowbread*
- Oatcakes
- Pan-fried turnips
- Boiled carrots, mint, and greens
- Pried sliced potatoes in cheese sauce
- Spiced flour dumplings
- Broth*
- Mustard
- Grated horseradish
- Garlic-and-parsley butter
- Brackleberry jam*
***************************************

[Anonymous No.4982385]

>>4981410
Might want to take a breath before you try and say that again.

[Anonymous No.4982397]

>>4981304

Look up which year 'weed' was outlawed

[Anonymous No.4982403]

http://lotrscrapbook.bookloaf.net/other/recipes.html
You're welcome.

[Anonymous No.4982419]

>>4982403
>http://lotrscrapbook.bookloaf.net/other/recipes.html
holy shit!

[Anonymous No.4982764]

>>4981410
4chan in a single post

[Anonymous No.4982767]

>>4981263
"ahh, the finest weed in all the northern shire"

[Anonymous No.4983085]

"We boggies are a hairy folk
Who like to eat until we choke.
Loving all like friend and brother,
And hardly ever eat each other.

Ever hungry, ever thirsting.
Never stop till belly's bursting.
Chewing chop and pork and muttons,
A merry race of boring gluttons.

Sing: Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble,
Gobble,gobble,gobble,gobble.

Boggies gather round the table,
Eat as much as you are able.
Gorge yourselves from moon till noon
(Don't forget your plate and spoon).

Anything edible, we've got dibs on,
And hope we all die with our bibs on.
Ever gay, we'll never grow up,
Come! And sing and play and throw-up!

Sing: Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble,
Gobble,gobble,gobble,gobble...."

[Anonymous No.4983095]

I spent an unemployed winter playing LOTRO and watching the movies. I ate a lot of steamed cabbage, scrambled eggs with onion in it, sausages and taters.

It was so awesome.

[Anonymous No.4983102]

>>4982397
How about checking out the prologue of the LOTR? It says its a type of Nicotiana

[Anonymous No.4983173]

>>4983085

What is a song from "Bored of the Rings, the Harvard Lampoon"?

[Anonymous No.4983373]

>>4981218
shire food is all english fare, i'd gather the first book of lor and maybe the hobbit and brows for some ideas, then look up some eanglish food, buy a bunch of eggs, puff pastry, butter, and flower, you'll need it.