/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.4962853]

Does /ck/ like Alton Brown?

I recently started listening to his podcast and I think he's great. He makes me want to cook.

[Anonymous No.4962861]

He's perfect for the drooling rubes that are Food Network's audience.

[Anonymous No.4962865]

>>4962861
Oh..okay. Nevermind then.

[Anonymous No.4962867]

>>4962861
I wouldn't call the audience drooling rubes, but certainly they're people that come from non-cooking families. The sorts that either pick up Boston Market for Thanksgiving or just nuke Swanson turkey dinners.

[Anonymous No.4962877]

We've had this thread a lot. Most of the people that hate him think he's "too simple" and ignore the fact that his target audience is people that don't know how to cook. They make up the elitist demographic on /ck/, those that were born with the innate ability to cook well, never learned anything, and were ever taught by anybody.

[Anonymous No.4962885]

>>4962877
Or people whose mothers loved them enough to cook actual food instead of boiling a tin of beans before drinking a fifth of vodka and getting jizzed in by the latest idiot dumb enough to pay her bills for her.

[Anonymous No.4962888]

>>4962877
Based off of what I've seen from my time on /ck/ I find it hard to believe that /ck/ couldn't learn a trick or two from Alton. Yeah a lot of instructional things are simple, but listening to his podcast he gets a bit more technical and it's interesting to hear what he has to say about food.

[Anonymous No.4962894]

>>4962888
How about when he's just wrong?
>add vinegar to your tomato sauce to make it taste better!
>add sugar to your tomato sauce because tomatoes are acidic
>wut
also
>storebought bread is mostly air, see?
>compresses storebought bread with his hands
>implying a hard crust means the bread is not mostly air
>wut
Or when he's just fucking stupid?
>frying turkey
>using a goddamned pulley system to do it
>wut

[Anonymous No.4962895]

>>4962888
What could I learn from a hack that has never worked a turn on the line?
You people give him too much credit, he's a fucking television personality.

[Anonymous No.4962900]

>>4962894
>makes a 'smoker' from a flower pot
>totally unitasker, dude

[Anonymous No.4962908]

He is smart, funny, interesting, entertaining, and accessible so naturally /ck/ hates him

[Anonymous No.4962912]

>>4962900
That was pretty cool, I'll admit, but when you throughout a thousand shit ideas, one or two is bound to be okay.
It's like Shakespeare. Ever read any of his less-celebrated work? It's fucking awful.

[Anonymous No.4962918]

>>4962912
>throughout
Derp. Throw out. Damned spell check.

[Anonymous No.4962926]

He isn't much of a cook but he does make for a good host and is a excellent intro into cooking for the person who doesn't know how. /ck/ can be a bit harsh on the guy but this is 4chan and we hate everything here.

[Anonymous No.4963115]

>>4962853
Entertaining show. Not nearly as cancerous as Guy, but you still won't learn anything cookingwise from the show or him.

[Anonymous No.4963125]

>>4962894
You ever fried a turkey? Oil near the smoke point is not something you want splashing on you.

[Anonymous No.4963149]

>>4962894
I agree with>>4963125 . We cook some BIG birds (30+ lbs) for the large family dinners the saturday after Thanksgiving and it's just easier get them in and out when dealing with that kind of heat in cold weather

[Anonymous No.4963155]

>>4963115
>you still won't learn anything cookingwise from the show or him.

I don't know how you can really say this, since you have no idea what other people know. He presents a lot of basic stuff that beginners don't know. Hell, I'm sure fully 50% (or more) of the US population has never cooked a steak in a cast-iron skillet.

[Anonymous No.4963156]

>>4962926
>good host
I agree. I think he's fine as a host and I really liked Feasting on Asphalt, but Good Eats can suck a shit.

[Anonymous No.4963172]

worst. celebrity tweeter. ever.

[Anonymous No.4963201]

>>4963172
I don't understand why professionals are expected to tweet. All it does is force them to work 24/7, be annoying, and opens up windows for career ending mistakes.

[Anonymous No.4963202]

>>4962894
Tomato juice has a Ph of 4.

[Anonymous No.4963212]

>>4963202
And adding fucking vinegar doesn't help that.

[Anonymous No.4963223]

>>4962894
>vinegar tastes like tomato
>adding it to tomato won't make a difference
What the fuck am I reading?

[Anonymous No.4963248]

>>4963212
Yes just ignore the part where they implied tomato juice wasn't an acid.
And ignore that I was correcting that point not how to make it taste better.

Have 5 Neet autist internet argument points.

[Anonymous No.4963252]

>>4962894
>>add sugar to your tomato sauce because tomatoes are acidic
but that's true

[Anonymous No.4963255]

>>4963248
Maybe if you don't add vinegar in the first place, it wouldn't need sugar? I wonder how many michelin starred Italian restaurants add vinegar and sugar to their tomato sauces. And how many AB has worked in. The correct answer is the same for both scenarios: none. But that's okay. Keep sucking four-eyed gun-toting fundie cock. It's a good look for you.

[Anonymous No.4963259]

>>4963252
see >>4963255

[Anonymous No.4963263]

>>4963255
>Maybe if you don't add vinegar in the first place, it wouldn't need sugar?
Yes it would. Tomatos are acidic and bitter.

[Anonymous No.4963268]

>>4963263
Again, how many michelin-starred restaurants add sugar, do you think?

[Anonymous No.4963279]

>>4963268
All of them.

[Anonymous No.4963284]

>>4963201
i don't expect them to tweet (it's probably his agent "forcing" it on him), but if you're using a communications medium, i expect you to know how it works. He tweets like the guy in the office who sends you an email and then calls you to let you know he sent the email.

https://twitter.com/altonbrown

You're supposed to do 140 characters of text. He just writes stuff on post-its and links to it.

Even if you buy into it being a "protest of the text limitation" he should probably be using instagram rather than twitter.

[Anonymous No.4963288]

>>4963268
>>4963255

>implying you should only cook the way michelin-starred chefs would cook
>implying AB not working in a commercial kitchen makes him unqualified to give advice on home cooking

My grandma made our family some biscuits yesterday. She's never worked at Per Se or any Momofuku restaurant. After she put them in front of me I took one bite, spit on the ground, and called her what she was: a fucking poser. She even had the audacity to offer my mother the recipe. Who would ever want to eat food cooked in the home by someone who's been cooking for large families for years?

[Anonymous No.4963310]

>>4963288
Home cooking is usually shit compared to food prepared by professionals. Years of home cooking means nothing to even one year of cooking in a restaurant. You go by the books. Thats why they exist.

[Anonymous No.4963336]

I write fantastic guides based on my experience in the manufacturing industry.

RESPECT THE TIRE OVERLORDS.

[Anonymous No.4963340]

>>4963310
>Years of home cooking means nothing to even one year of cooking in a restaurant.

Oh wow, guys, I think he's serious.

[Anonymous No.4963342]

>>4963310
While I think you are over-exaggerating the disparaging differences between the two, you make a good point. My mom was a chef, and her at home meals were perfection, but she had years of commercial cooking under her belt. I apprenticed to a chef and pastry chef when I was 16-18, and that did wonders for my skills in the kitchen, and I can still to this day cook circles around my friends, no matter how much they've developed their kitchen skills, because they've never had to cook in such a stringent environment.

[Anonymous No.4963343]

>>4963336
>the same employees that design tires review restaurants
Sure thing, bro.

[Anonymous No.4963348]

>>4962895
>implying laboring to cook one dish to perfection is inferior to putting out 100 mediocre versions of a dish an hour like you do.

[Anonymous No.4963351]

>>4962908
I wondered why there was so much keyster consternation in this thread. You definitely nailed it.

[Anonymous No.4963409]

>>4963343
>implying the employees that review restaurants aren't underpaid and understaffed leading to lower standards overall

[Anonymous No.4963440]

>>4962853
No. His religious views, once I learned of them, caused me to cease watching anything by him, using any of his recipes, or listening to any of his podcasts. I refuse to support bigots.

[Anonymous No.4963472]

I do.

[Anonymous No.4963517]

He seems nice enough and informative enough, but reading this thread it seems everyone hates him for some reason. I can't really understand why as he seems to do a good job of explaining a lot of the principles of whatever he is showing you how to make as well as showing the techniques.

What should I watch instead if he isn't /ck/ approved?

[Anonymous No.4963581]

I like him regardless of /ck/

Unlike the majority (atleast I imagine) I wasn't gifted with their elitist cooking styles. I started from absolute ignorance and Good Eats helped me start cooking. I'm farm from the best chef but now I'm better than an average home cook.
Granted this is /ck/ and the only thing co/ck/s really like is themselves. Which is why instead of an awesome board where people can come and learn new things and try new food it is a hyper-snob circle jerk. Butthurt over.

I think Alton Brown is a pretty cool dude in general although he can seem a bit of a dick sometimes.

[Anonymous No.4963586]

>>4963517
he is /ck/ approved if you're not put off by his bill-nye-the-science-guy antics.
the board is rather polarized about them.

[Anonymous No.4963590]

>>4963581
I remember years and years ago Alton Brown/Good Eats are seen as godly on /ck/. Now everyone is an elitist faggot eating kale or some other fad food and has elitist tastes. Fuck kale.

[Anonymous No.4963600]

>>4962877
I hate him for being so flamboyant and theatrical when he tries to cook or explain some food. Like he raises a shit fit about making pancakes, that it's important the yolk is separated from the white and blended with the butter and/or milk differently. It's a goddamn pancake for fuck's sake, it doesn't have to be this complicated or technical. To spite him I mashed the egg straight into the milk and it tastes identical to his convoluted method when all's said and done.

[Anonymous No.4963606]

>>4963586
Ah then I can understand that, to be honest I always enjoyed Bill Nye in class, and while in a cooking show it is a bit jarring, I find it entertainingly informative. Thought I completely understand why many would be put off by that.

[Anonymous No.4963607]

Alton used to be everyone's fave on /ck/. I think he's pretty good and has helped me understand American cooking and cuisine.

[Anonymous No.4963609]

AB is basically our patron saint

[Anonymous No.4963610]

>>4963155
>I'm sure fully 50% (or more) of the US population has never cooked a steak in a cast-iron skillet.

That's because an American steak demands to be cooked on a grill over hot coals.

[Anonymous No.4963612]

>>4963590
We must endure for the future of /ck/
In all seriousness /ck/ has become somewhere that you can't have any fun and everything is a insult or a pissing contest

[Anonymous No.4963618]

>>4963590
Fuck kale indeed and food fads, too. And also Alton Brown. He just sucks. That's all. It's not about elitism. It's about a large number of people suddenly learning that there's something beyond restaurant dining and ready meals IE his fanbase. I don't belong to that body of people. Much of /ck/ doesn't, either. I'm sorry if you didn't know learn how to cook by watching your parents growing up because they didn't know how to cook, either, but he's a poor replacement for proper learning. It's like saying "EVERYTHING I KNOW I PICKED UP WATCHING SESAME STREET AND THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!!!!"
He's not the end all. He's just the beginning, but only for those who didn't have a proper beginning from watching their families' cooking.

[Anonymous No.4963619]

>>4963440
>I refuse to support bigots.

What did he say now? I know he made some anti-black remarks at a book signing or something, is that it?

[Anonymous No.4963621]

He's a polarizing figure on /ck/

[Anonymous No.4963625]

>>4963600
>To spite him I mashed the egg straight into the milk

Man, you sure showed him. He won't be able to sit down for weeks I bet.

[Anonymous No.4963629]

>>4963618
So basically he's a culinary parental figure? Makes sense. That's why so many /ck/ers refuse to accept anything negative about him. It's like spitting in their mothers' faces to them.

[Anonymous No.4963638]

>>4963618

My suggestion is to do some more reading. You are a rambling and confusing writer.

[Anonymous No.4963657]

>>4963618
I didn't mean to intend he was the best, or that I learned everything from him. He was a starting point, like you said. I don't think he sucks though. I like him for more than his cooking shows. Although, I'm not a big fan of his religious views. He is a good person in general and if he didn't do good eats I may have never gotten beyond the days of hamburger helper and canned food. If you look at just his cooking skills you could easily say he sucks, but he takes basics, puts them in a form people can learn from and makes it entertaining. That's why I like him. Plus, he is a good host.

[Anonymous No.4963668]

>>4963657
>good host
Again, agreed (I said so earlier ITT when I mentioned I liked FoA).
His methods and recipes outside of baking and Americana are shit, though. His baking is quite good and his recipes for classic Americana are also good. Not being USican myself, his programmes introduced me to a few American foods that I later finally tried when I backpacked through the American south some years ago. You guys travel to my country and backpack, so why can't I do the same in yours? I still stand firm saying that GE is a culinary parental replacement.

[Anonymous No.4963679]

>>4963668
And a lot of people need that "culinary parental replacement". My mother didn't even know how to use a chefs knife for god's sake.

You aren't American. You aren't aware of what middle class "home cooking" is for the baby boomers (ie most of our parents). You would need a culinary parental replacement if you grew up with it too.

[Anonymous No.4963690]

>>4963668
I don't have a problem with people coming into my country. Its just that the majority of my country are retarded or assholes. Quite a lot of tourists actually visit us. I met some europeans just last week and showed them some of the Route 66 landmarks. Also, I can hardly think of any food that is purely american. That might just be because I don't travel. I'm just a kid who grew up in a rural place so I didn't get to have access to cooking courses or anything.

[Anonymous No.4963691]

>>4963679
Exactly what I was saying. If you had parents that can cook, you think he's rubbish. If you didn't, you think he's Christ. Saying anything bad about him upsets some of the ne/ck/beards quite a bit. See >>4963629

[Anonymous No.4963697]

>>4963690
Collard greens with bacon are pretty purely American. And pretty purely delicious. There're metric fucktonnes of purely American foods. Chicken stew, for example. I don't think any other country does that, as simple as it is.

[Anonymous No.4963698]

>>4963679
>what middle class "home cooking" is for the baby boomers (ie most of our parents)

No kidding. My mother's mother's idea of spaghetti:
>bunch of noodles
>ketchup
>raw onions

Eat up. No wonder she never learned how to cook anything other than Hamburger Helper and Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup.

[Anonymous No.4963701]

>>4963679
This. Parental cooking for a lot of us was boxed or premade food, in America most of us spend most of our day working and don't have time or energy to do anything after. Plus even our middle class is in the low end because how poorly distributed the wealth is. Imagine getting up at 4am to work from 6am to 5pm then go home and want to do anything.

[Anonymous No.4963711]

>>4963697
I guess it just doesn't seem that way because it's normal for us. I do know hotdogs are a mostly an american thing. A lot of American foods are just weird versions influenced by other country's food brought by immigrants. Also, a lot of people who think hotdogs are gross, they are but they were a genius way to reduce food waste and other countries eat food made from scrap parts as well.

[Anonymous No.4963722]

>>4963612
You're so right. It used to be so much fun on here. Suddenly elitists everywhere sneering at everybody. Never mind, they'll leave and we'll still be posting our tasty snacks :3

[Anonymous No.4963734]

>>4963701
Exactly what I was saying before twats took offense. GE is good for those that came from non-cooking families but if your fam actually cooked, it's not for you.

[Anonymous No.4963739]

>>4963612
He's basically a starting point for people who never learned to cook. Not that that's a bad thing or anything. Plus I like that he actually bothers to explain to people WHY they're doing things, instead of just 'put this and this in here and then cook it like this, and then you have muffins.' I learned to cook from my parents and grandma, so I didn't really need him and didn't really understand the hype but I don't really get saying that he's shit either, he's a fucking metric ton better than most of what people do to learn to cook.

[Anonymous No.4963743]

>>4963739
Actually I should add that my family never really explained much why we did shit either, other than the bare-bones 'don't mix the muffins too much or they'll be shit'. I found it interesting when I was younger to hear a little about what overmixing actually did and why I shouldn't do it.

[Anonymous No.4963750]

>>4963619
No. Just being a born-again Christian alone is bigotry. I think just about the last thing anyone associates evangelical Christians with is tolerance.

[Anonymous No.4963758]

>>4963618
I can understand your sentiment, but I do wonder what you expect someone learning to cook to do. What do you think people should instead be learning from?
I am not attempting to deride or adopt any sardonic type of tone, I am genuinely curious and wish to learn.

[Anonymous No.4963759]

>>4962853

He's an OK person. I guess it's the Food Network I should hate.

[Anonymous No.4963761]

>>4963750
Hey pot this is kettle I heard you were black

[Anonymous No.4963769]

>>4962853
I didn't know he had a podcast. I loved "Good Eats". It was the only cooking show I found tolerable.

[Anonymous No.4963770]

Does no one else remember the days when /ck/ would literally suck this mans cock?

[Anonymous No.4963777]

>>4963758
Again: good to start with but just like Sesame Street taught millions of Americans colours, shapes, numbers and letters /as a foundation/, GE is merely a foundation. It's not the endgame. It's not the monolithic standard to all cooking. And just like Sesame Street, some of the stuff it teaches are unnecessary or silly.
Use it as a way to pique your curiosity for cooking but don't make it into some infallible source of all culinary wisdom. That's not what it is and that's not what I think it was ever meant to be.
Once that culinary curiosity is piqued, learn more by doing. Learn more by eating. Learn more by watching others cook. That's all I'm trying to get across.

[Anonymous No.4963779]

>>4963770
I do. And I was the lone person back then saying he wasn't all that great. Others now share the sentiment for whatever reason, but I've never thought he was some marvel.

[Anonymous No.4963836]

>>4963779
I thought he was alright, but I never understood why this board practically worshiped him.

[Anonymous No.4963846]

>>4963836
see >>4963618 and >>4963629 as well as >>4963691

[Anonymous No.4963924]

I actually like alton brown( i would not tell him) like bill nye the science guy it's reference and preference. I like ( key is I) restaurant impossible. and guy ferieri. dives diners and dumps. chopped lravevbes me cold. ( lemme see you got gummie bears, squid, and roo. twenty min) I like shows that teach. J pipan or rick steves, or julia child. or lydiya. most every time I watch, I learn I hate to say this, but too many obviously sponsored shows. I guess its like pawn stars or real pawn. what i hate is shows likeunmentioned, hey sister lets make mac and cheese and sing a while til garth gets home. all these shows, you never see person washing the dishes. ever unreal

[Anonymous No.4963934]

>>4963770
he's older now and less physically attractive

[Anonymous No.4963940]

He alright but, get's old after a while. Plus I just want to re-arrange some of his shit and watch him have a meltdown.

[Anonymous No.4963948]

>>4963440

[Anonymous No.4965376]

bump.

[Anonymous No.4965412]

>>4962908
this, its like /v/ hating videogames

EA sucks though.

and food network pisses me off because:

now junk, full of shows like: "hurry up and cook this really fast! YOU ONLY GET A SQUID AND GRAPES, AW **** WHAT DID YOU COOK IN THE 5 seconds we gave you to build a masterpiece out of these HIGH QUALITY INGREDIENTS!?!?, WHAT IS THIS! HOW UNACCEPTABLE! NOW STAND THERE AND ACCEPT OUR PRETENTIOUS SMUG DECONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IN HOPE THAT WE WILL BE NICE ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU THE 5000 DOLLAR PRIZE EVEN THOUGH ALL THE DISHES WILL COMPLETELY SUCK BECAUSE OF THE HORRID CONDITIONS WE EXPECT YOU TO COMPETE IN!"

YOUR SLICED!!!

ALLEN QUIZ


SCREW YOU FOOD NETWORK!!

WHY DID YOU GET RID OF UNWRAPPED AND GOOD EATS

GOOD EATS + unwrapped = BEST FOOD NETWORK SHOWS EVER

WHY.

[Anonymous No.4965420]

>>4963586
bill nye is cool

[Anonymous No.4965426]

>>4963769
THIS

[Anonymous No.4965982]

bump because bill nye and alton brown are cool people and good eats was the best food network show ever along side unwrapped and bill nye should have been there too.

[Anonymous No.4966143]

>>4962853

I like him, but not for the same reasons as most people.

[Anonymous No.4966255]

>>4966143
for what then? and why do you think most people like alton brown?

[Anonymous No.4966270]

>>4963761
>Just being a racist alone is bigotry

>NICE BIGOTRY BIGOT I BET YOU HATE THE GAYS TOO

Kill yourself theocancer.

[Anonymous No.4966314]

>>4963750

oh just go the fuck away and let the man live his life you pompous clown... and I'll bet your the type that would attend a book burning of copies of "Ender's Game" too, hm?

[Anonymous No.4966329]

>>4963288
>>4963310
Confirmed for starved children who had awful meals

[Anonymous No.4966340]

>>4963750
>what does bigotry mean?

[Anonymous No.4966381]

I like him, he's made me a better cook and I find his shows to be entertaining and informative

[Anonymous No.4966429]

>>4966270
Good. Good. Let the butthurt flow through you.

>dot jpeg

[Anonymous No.4966433]

>>4965412
Good Eats is on the Cooking Channel now. Just finished watching 2 hours of it.

[Anonymous No.4966444]

Wait so he hates gays or something? Why do you care? Are you gay?

[Anonymous No.4966458]

>>4966270
what does evangelical christianity have to do with racism

the whole idea of the religion is anti-racist

[Anonymous No.4966466]

>>4966444
>hates gays

No, he made a joke in poor taste thinking that Iowa was a conservative state

[Anonymous No.4966484]

>>4966444
wait you aren't gay? What are you doing here?

Everyone on /ck/ is gay

[Anonymous No.4966487]

>>4966433
Every episode of Good Eats is on youtube.

[Anonymous No.4966504]

>>4966487

not anymore.
they're cracking down, especially since adding a couple seasons to amazon.

[Anonymous No.4966541]

>>4962861
>Watch out guys, we've got a serious chef over here

[Anonymous No.4966545]

>>4962885
My mother is quite a good American cook, nothing fancy but excellent comfort food. I enjoy Alton Brown because so much of what my mother does has been learned from years of experience and she has a hard time teaching me things that are based on guess measuring and taste. Alton is really just an entertaining guy as well, I'd probably watch him talk about anything, it's just a plus that I like food.

[Anonymous No.4966552]

>>4963255
>Preferred tv food personality implies homosexuality and ignorance

Go back to /b/

[Anonymous No.4966557]

>>4963310
Someone was never loved as a child. Home cooking has love and time; while restaurant food may be technically "better" there's a lot more that goes into a meal than skill alone.

[Anonymous No.4966568]

>>4963750
>All Christians hate gays, blacks, and anyone unlike themselves

This is like saying that all Muslims are terrorists. Please tell me you're not seriously this stupid.

[Anonymous No.4966780]

h-hey guys... look what i just found.
https://thepiratebay.sx/torrent/7684385/Good_Eats

every episode and special he's done.