/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.4917809]

Its fucking cold outside

How make perfect Coffee?

Coffee general

[Anonymous No.4917811]

Depends on the brew method(s) you've available to you right now.

[Anonymous No.4917817]

you need a burr grinder. otherwise you simply cannot make good coffee. every other factor is irrelevant until you get one.

[Anonymous No.4917829]

>tfw I just have a Keurig cup coffee maker

Im lazy

[Anonymous No.4917872]

>Cold
>Dark
Irish Coffee is only coffee nigga

[Anonymous No.4917883]

Disregard coffee, acquire tea.

[Anonymous No.4917897]

>buy coffee
>fill percolator with coffee and water
>apply heat
>??????
>profit

[Anonymous No.4918228]

>>4917883
Tea doesn't keep you up when you were up all night and you have work at 6am in the morning, you pretentious fuck

[Anonymous No.4918246]

>>4918228
> tea
> no caffeine
Wot

[Anonymous No.4918252]

>>4918246
I didn't even say that, but are you even trying to say that tea has anywhere near the effect of coffee? Usually the teas I have make me fucking sleepy, I never brew that shit in the morning.

[Anonymous No.4918257]

>>4918252
How severe is your brain damage Anon?

[Anonymous No.4918272]

>>4917883
>12 Bong
Drink Tea
>1 Bong
Drink Tea
>2 Bong
Drink Tea
>3 Bong
Drink Tea
>4 Bong
Drink Tea
>5 Bong
Praise Allah

[Anonymous No.4918276]

>>4917809
1 tablespoon each of instant coffee and white sugar. Pour boiling water. Drink.

[Anonymous No.4918278]

>>4918252
You're not brewing tea than, you're brewing some herbal shit. Real tea has MORE caffeine than coffee.

[Anonymous No.4918280]

>>4917809

Get some good specialty coffee from your local roaster and brew it drip. You don't have to do a pour over or whatever, you can get a great cup from a Kitchenaid or Cuisinart or whatever. Just make sure you buy a good coffee. Personally, I don't like acidic coffee with notes of passionfruit and lemongrass, I just like good, even coffee. Not over roasted.

P.S. I feel like the photographer just massively failed at taking that stock photo. Does it look dumb to anybody else?

[Anonymous No.4918284]

>>4918280

Oh yeah, a tablespoon of coffee for every cup of water.

[Anonymous No.4918291]

After having a standard Mr. Coffee drip coffee maker for years, I got a Keurig and started buying different varieties of K-cups and now my coffee experiences have greatly improved. I know I'm probably gonna get shit on for saying that here, but after drinking nothing but Folgers for years and then transitioning to Caribou/Green Mountain it's awesome.

I hear french press coffee is supposed to be really good, is this true?

[Anonymous No.4918297]

>>4918272
LOL
God I hate Muslims.

[Anonymous No.4918316]

Very fresh coffee ground as soon before brewing is by far the most important key in good coffee. Find a local roaster and get a good burr grinder. You don't have to go out and spend 300-500 dollars right off the bat for a grinder. Get a hand powered one from a brand called Hario.

The actual way to prepare coffee isn't as important as good coffee. But if you are interested in a different brewing method that isn't a terrible machine, I recommend an Aeropress. It's super easy to use and very hard to produce a bad cup of coffee on.

>>4918280
To be honest, you cannot get a really good cup from a machine like that. They just do not produce a good cup of coffee. But I do agree that buying fresh, whole bean coffee is by far the most important aspect of good coffee. The greatest barista in the world cannot make bad coffee good.

[Anonymous No.4918319]

>>4918278
Don't know what you want me to fucking do then, man. I've tried pu'erh, I've tried rooibos, oolong, mate, I really love tea. It just doesn't wake me up like coffee. Also there's no need for lies, because herbal tea is real tea (shock horror)

[Anonymous No.4918328]

I have never had a coffee that tasted good black. Either I have shit taste, or have never had good coffee. Educate me.

[Anonymous No.4918348]

>make coffee in french press for someone
>they remark that it's weak
>I did everything correctly
>pretty sure they were just used to bitter drip-brew and associate bitterness with strength

[Anonymous No.4918419]

>>4918348
I find pressed coffee to be both more bitter and also weaker than drip coffee, but that's only because most people that started using presses recentlyish have no idea how to utilise them properly and brew horrid coffee.

[Anonymous No.4918804]

Priorities for good coffee, order from greatest to least.

>Get good beans.
If you have a local place that roasts them, (NOT Starbucks) good. Otherwise order online.

>A decent grinder.
A burr grinder will do. Grind them yourself just before you brew.

>Water
If your tap water sucks, get a filter or something.

>Measuring tools.
Doesn't hurt to be precise. Water by volume, beans by weight.

>Brewing method.
It really doesn't make that much difference. Whatever works for you, as long as it's not a keurig machine.

[Anonymous No.4918836]

I bought one of these for $165. They're surprisingly good and you don't have to dump 400 into it to get a respectable grind. I also bought a cheap espresso machine and I trick it into going hotter than its supposed to for a good pull.

[Anonymous No.4919077]

>>4918228
Yes it does, you fucking mouth breather.

[Anonymous No.4919092]

>>4917809
remember OP:
only faggots filter their coffee

[Anonymous No.4919101]

>>4918419
>utilise them properly

What do you mean? I do:

>boil water
>grind coffee
>pour coffee into press
>pour water over coffee
>mix
>let steep for 4 minutes or so
>slowly plunge
>pour

Am I doing something wrong?

[Anonymous No.4919122]

Yeah I roll with this bad boy and some nice locally roasted Ethiopian coffee I get from work. Unfortunately as a result of getting the coffee at 50% off from work it comes pre-ground. Meh. It still comes out delicious though, wouldn't change a thing and every night I go to bed looking forwards to getting up to a fine cuppa in the morning.

The ONLY complaint I have about this thing is that I pretty much just use it to make single cups for myself, I'm not good at figuring out how to best make 2 cups when diving up the "espresso" or whatever, so when I have a lady stay over I can't even competently offer her some nice coffee in the morning to make up for the disappointing sex.

[Anonymous No.4919135]

I was reading the coffee article on gizmodo when they introduced tonx and mistobox which are online delivery services for coffee. Opinions?

[Anonymous No.4920349]

>>4919077
not even coffee keeps me awake, I doubt tea will have any effect on me

[Anonymous No.4920364]

>>4918319
>I've tried rooibos, oolong
then drink black tea

[Anonymous No.4920405]

>>4918836
yay I bought that too.

Do your beans ever get stuck?

[Anonymous No.4921133]

>>4918278
By dry weight - once prepared tea has less caffeine than coffee.

[Anonymous No.4921157]

>>4920349
Caffeine only will prolong the time before "getting sleepy" it will not magically make you fit. If you are already sleepy or worn out it wont do shit.

[Anonymous No.4921747]

>>4921157
I use it to get through the mid-afternoon tired phase.

I'm normally pretty energized in the morning but when it gets around 1 or 2 I need a cup of coffee to get me out of my slump and wake me back up. Then it's easy to stay awake for the rest of the day

[Anonymous No.4921823]

>>4918278
>Real tea has MORE caffeine than coffee.
Oh god, you have no idea what you're drinking.

[Anonymous No.4921837]

>>4918319
Have you tried matcha or yerba maté?

>Also there's no need for lies, because herbal tea is real tea (shock horror)
Tea specifically refers to a type of plant. That's like saying all fruits are apples because apple is the most common.

[Anonymous No.4921846]

>>4917809
I'm literally appalled none of you fu/ck/s said espresso. Espresso is the gold standard of coffee.

[Anonymous No.4921859]

>>4921846
Yeah, because we all have two thousand dollar makers and eight hundred dollar grinders for that actual espresso in our homes.

Espresso is bliss, but only when made properly.

[Anonymous No.4922920]

>>4921859
Dude I have a 400 dollar press and a 250 grinder. It's not that serious.

[Anonymous No.4922939]

>>4922920
>$650+ of machines, not counting beans
>for a drink
>not serious

I suppose you think 100k a year is middle class

[Anonymous No.4922973]

>ITT: teafags ruin a good coffee thread

[Anonymous No.4922979]

>>4922920
>$650 for coffee
>Not serious
How about you let me bum $100 and help me pay bills or gas or something instead of pissing it away in fucking coffee

[Anonymous No.4923126]

>>4922979
Because it's not his fault you're poor.

It's yours.

[Anonymous No.4923389]

>>4922939
lmao it is though unless ur from the midwest or another similar shithole

[Anonymous No.4923426]

Coffee makes me poop a demon fetus out of my ass every time I have a cup, but I love the taste and smell too damn much. Caffeine isn't the issue since I can drink tea and energy shots without having the same effects. Is there any hope, or am I doomed to stink up bathrooms for all eternity?

[Anonymous No.4923911]

COFFEE IS BEETER THAN YOUR LIFE

[Anonymous No.4923983]

>>4920405

Haven't had stuck beans yet. I usually don't fill the hopper very full for freshness sake.

[Anonymous No.4924307]

>>4923426
This.

>wake up
>take morning shit
>drive to gym
>take pre workout shit
>workout, shower, get ready for school
>drink coffee
>take monster shit that was hiding in the depths of my bowels

Feels good man.

[Anonymous No.4924313]

>>4918291

French Press coffee is Elder God tier. Only way I drink my coffee lately.

[Anonymous No.4924314]

>>4924307
>taking a pre workout shit
>not explosively unloading a fecal bolus in the squat rack
>not saving some for the traditional post-workout shower stall waffle stomp

[Anonymous No.4924361]

>you will never try kopi luwak bean coffee

[Anonymous No.4924370]

>>4924361

I've had it. It's just coffee. Very, very good coffee. If it didn't come from an animal's shit it wouldn't be anymore exciting than say, JBM, which is also very good but doesn't attract the ridiculous hype.

[Anonymous No.4924481]

>>4924314
>pooping in the squat rack
>impying I want to poop while trying to break an OHP pr

[Anonymous No.4924484]

>cold outside
>cold inside
>coffee goes cold in mere minutes

[Anonymous No.4924486]

>>4918228
>6am in the morning

as opposed to 6am in the evening?

[Anonymous No.4924503]

>>4924486
No, 6pm in the morning, you mong. Now hold on a sec while I try to remember my PIN number so I can go to the ATM machine. The LCD displays on them kill my eyes to death, so to avoid that end result, I should pack some dark tinted sunglasses. With that money, I've future plans to buy some KFC chicken and as an added bonus, treat myself to some ice cream later. If past history is any indication, dairy causes flatulence and will make me fart. I hope and pray this is not the actual case and that it's merely an unconfirmed rumour but a variety of different sources give me no safe haven on the matter. Looks like all the info I find is completely surrounded in the possible likelihood that it does.
Well, if I get the ice cream, at least it comes with a free musical gift!

[Anonymous No.4924630]

>>4924503

[Anonymous No.4924635]

>mr coffee
>1 tablespoon foldgers per 6 oz water
> 1 shot whiskey per 6 oz cup poured.

anything else is patently homosexual

[Anonymous No.4924644]

coffee into cup
hot water over it
done

[Anonymous No.4924670]

>>4918278
Sorry, but you're wrong.
https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/caffeine/AN01211

[Anonymous No.4924688]

>>4922939
Not that guy and I agree with the fact that any coffee machine over 100$ is ridiculous,

but, 100k is low-mid middle class.

[Anonymous No.4924692]

>>4924688
you absolutely, positively either do not make 100k or you live in a place where an inflated cost of living results in a salary that gives you a skewed sense of class.

100k is lower mid class in places like manhattan, maybe, but not outside of your bubble.

[Anonymous No.4926745]

>>4917809
Ziltiod here.
Give me your universe's ULTIMATE coffee.
BLACK.
you have five minutes.
Make it perfect~!

[Anonymous No.4926827]

>>4917809
OK OP.
La Marzocco FB80.
92°C water/9 bar/22 sec
100% arabica freshly ground coffee - 8g/cup

>>4924481
OHP in the squat rack? Get. Out.

[Anonymous No.4926874]

>>4918246
>>4918228
even though tea has caffeine it doesn't have the same wake up effect. I can drink tea at night and still get to sleep.

[Anonymous No.4927282]

>>4926874
It enters the bloodstream slower or something iirc

[Anonymous No.4927898]

>>4926827
Also I forgot, apply 20kg of pressure with the tamper

[Anonymous No.4927930]

>>4919122

Love the aeropress, check out an Able disk for better coffee plus anti-inflammatory cafestol and kahweol.

[Anonymous No.4928013]

>>4918316
>find a local roaster
I keep seeing this but it's just not a thing where I am. Jealous of those who do have this option.

[Anonymous No.4928592]

Op, just skip the step and shoot caffeine in your veins.