/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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Anonymous Fri Sep 20 19:30:36 2013 No.4815153 [DELETED]

ITT: awkward dining experiences

>in McDonald's one day
>these three girls I kind of know but don't ever really talk to come in getiting water cups after I finish eating
>decide to sit down with them after politely asking
>make some light conversation and try to keep up appearances, things go okay
>this one guy sitting a few tables down comes back from the bathroom
>they leave me and go over to him
>hopeful, I go back over to them and try to maintain what I had established
>guy asks how long I've been there and if I was waiting for someone (I had rode my bike there and was alone)
>I tell him I'd been there about 20 minutes (about as long as he'd been there), finish my sentence with "I was about to leave, then these three ladies came along"
>He replies, "And then that sign came along!"
>right fucking above us is a sign that says "NO LOITERING - 45 MINUTES MAXIMUM EATING TIME"
>fuck
>I'm speechless, wish them a good day and leave the restaurant
>they laugh at me as I walk out
>NTR'd at fucking McDonald's

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 19:33:36 2013 No.4815157 Come on, a 5 year old could come up with a better story than that. Delete this thread and start a new one after you've improved it.

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 19:38:35 2013 No.4815161
File: 89 KB, 671x683, $15 sandwich.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4815153
OP thats weak sauce there.

Anyone have the thread capped where the guy orders an assload of food the same order twice in a day and the girl at the window is like "its you here, AGAIN?!" Then he spaghettis and leaves without his food.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 19:41:35 2013 No.4815164 >>4815153 >21/12/2031 OP is from the future. A dark and dismal future, I weep for the future of the human race.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 19:53:36 2013 No.4815179 >>4815161 I can't imagine how painful it is living your life like this

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:02:25 2013 No.4815189
File: 159 KB, 344x339, dubious_hatter_and_hare.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

> Go to sushi for my birthday
> Normal place I go to is closed
> I could have waited but I decide to try another place
> Has some mixed reviews, but what the hell
> Go there with my mother, step-dad, and brother (all of which refuse to eat raw fish)
> Arrive and it is completely empty, stand and wait for a server
> Overly enthusiastic white bitch seats us
> Gives us water from a... vase? Really?
> Order miso, unagi, and yellowtail
> Yellowtail arrives first
> ONE PIECE
> FOUR DOLLARS
cont

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:05:23 2013 No.4815191 >>4815189 >bitching about a roll of sushi that costs 4 dollars That's the cheapest you'll get it without making it yourself

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:08:24 2013 No.4815196

>>4815189
>Go to sushi for my birthday
> Go there with my mother, step-dad, and brother (all of which refuse to eat raw fish)

Sorry, I know its your birthday and all but why so selfish? Couldn't you compromise and pick a place your whole family would enjoy?

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:08:25 2013 No.4815194

>>4815189
> At this point I am feeling a great mistake has been made
> Miso comes
> Sip from the bowl and watch the sushi "chef" behind the counter
> He's... in his early twenties?
> Also GINGER
> badvibes.gif
> Watch him get the unagi, mix the sauce
> Is that... Oh christ, no...
> Ginger proceeds to put unagi in MICROWAVE for ~15 seconds
> Horror is building
> He pulls the nuked eel out and slaps it on a microplate with ginger and wasabi
> Hands it to me
> Worldless, horrified exchange
cont

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:10:24 2013 No.4815201 >>4815196 He doesn't have friends, so his only opportunity to eat out is with his family, and his birthday is the only time he can choose.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:10:25 2013 No.4815200 >>4815189 >>4815194 >doing conts for less than 15 lines are you shitting me?

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:14:24 2013 No.4815207

>power is out in a bunch of neighbourhoods after floods
>gather up nearby friends and we go out for food
>japanese restaurant, looks good, go in
>white as fuck friend, not racist, just white as fuck
>gets his miso soup
>EWWW WHAT IS THIS IT TASTES LIKE FISH
>baaaaarely tastes like fish
>makes a big fuss until the really cool guy who served us apologises and takes the soup away
>tries to eat a bit of karaage
>can't use chopsticks
>spaghettis and covers for it by grabbing a bit with his fingers
>came out of the oil about 30 seconds before it made it to the table
>burns the ever-loving fuck out of his fingers
>spaghettis and retards, puts it in his mouth instead of dropping it
>almost in tears at the pain of eating a giant ball of scalding chicken and oil
>the whole restaurant is now watching everything he does
>main meal comes out
>"watch this"
>tries the thank server in japanese
>"gochisosama!" (what you'd normally say after the meal)
>dude, that's not what you're supposed to say
>server is getting fed up
>friend spaghettis again
>still can't use chopsticks
>tries to ask for a fork in japanese
>whole table growing increasingly embarrassed by all of this shit
>you're making a fool of yourself just shut the fuck up and eat
>"ITADAKIMASU!"
>the staff asks him to leave for being racist
>finish meal in peace

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:15:24 2013 No.4815209 >>4815200 He's a rare breed of asshole on all fronts.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:16:25 2013 No.4815211 >>4815207 >thinks he knows Japanese >Doesn't know what miso soup is I still have yet to read a good story.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:19:24 2013 No.4815213 >>4815211 He is the biggest weeb I've ever met. Watches anime ad nauseum but had no idea that miso was based a on mild fish stock.

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:19:24 2013 No.4815214
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>>4815194
> Following my loss of hope in humanity, I eat the eel slowly
> Rage bubbles
> The chicken teryaki my family ordered isn't even good, nor the unsalted tempura
> Still fucking hungry but I'm already 12+ bucks in the hole
> Okay. Okay. I'll swallow my pride and order a roll.
> Get their "signature" roll which is deepfried because I'm past the point of dignity and I'm hungry as hell
> Angry Japanese woman in the back kitchen fries it after Ginger-dick rolls it
> It comes hot as Hades asshole, but is palatable
> Polish off, look at my poor family
>mfw

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:20:24 2013 No.4815216 None of these stories are actually believable.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:20:24 2013 No.4815217 File: 467 KB, 270x203, 1320643079385.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4815207 >the staff asks him to leave for being racist

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:25:24 2013 No.4815225

>>4815201
Pretty much.

Plus, sushi on birthdays was a tradition I had with my dad before I lost him. My mom kept with it through my teens because she knew it made me happy and respected the memory. It became a tradition, so they get their teryaki and I get to remember.

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:30:24 2013 No.4815228
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>be 9, quiet kid
>my birthday dinner, asked where I want to go
>Joes crab shack just opened up near us
>go check it out
>holy shit, this place is cool
>get a seat outside
>family knows I don't like birthday songs
>they tell the waitress when I'm in the bathroom
>sit back at the table, and resume eating
>suddenly hear the clapping in unison
>shiver down my spine
>2 lines if employees come pouring out
>before I can react, they've surrounded me
>put a lobster bib aroun my neck while clapping
>the turn it backwards and stand me up
>they announce that superman is going to save the day
>realize in horror what they mean by that
>look at my family for support, they're all giggling in unison
>this isn't my family
>these are monsters, remorseless monsters
>forced I run around this crowded restaurant with a lobster bib as a cape
>some employees making wooshing noises
>the rest are singing some demonic chant, something like, "Love Shack"
>hiding my face of embarrassment and mortification as I run through the guests for all 4 minutes of the song
>no free ice cream when I return to my table
>only a lobster napkin signed by "superman"
>never go back to Joe's Crab Shack again
I didn't even like superman.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:32:24 2013 No.4815229 >>4815228 evil, pure evil

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:35:24 2013 No.4815230 File: 216 KB, 393x391, 1376859430792.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4815161 >I said EVERYTHING!

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:37:25 2013 No.4815233 >Be in a restaurant >Child running around screaming >Father smacks it >Silence and staring follows for a few moments Yup. That's about all I go.

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:38:25 2013 No.4815235

>>4815228
IKTF anon. I forget where it was but I had a birthday dinner somewhere and I had to wear a sombrero and put a spoonful of icecream on my nose and stand on a chair when people sang and made lots of noise, or something like that. Was horrible, I don't like attention.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:39:25 2013 No.4815237 >>4815228 your family sounds awesome

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 20:43:26 2013 No.4815241 >>4815191 Bro, I'm guessing he's talking about nigiri, get it right

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 21:00:24 2013 No.4815256

>go to decent burger place nearby
>just kidding, it's red robin
>friend orders "cheapest margarita.... neat"
>gets half filled tumbler with warm tequila and sourmix
>qt3.14 waitress comes to get our order
>same "neat" friend gestures with his arms while talkin about league of legends
>throat chop waitress
>she excuses herself
>different waitress comes over and gets our orders
>when asked how he'd like his burger cooked, says "still mooin"
>universe facepalms
>servers keep bring us baskets of fries
>finish the meal with way more than we need
>he stuff them into his cargo shorts
>on the way out elbows kid in the face

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 21:08:24 2013 No.4815267

>Driving through Wisconsin to Michigan
>Get hungry
>See small truck stop
>Go in and to get some food
>Place is completely empty
>Nice old man at the counter
>Order a club sandwich and go to the bathroom
>Come out and the man is gone
>Sit down for 15 minutes
>Place is quiet as fuck
>Start calling out to him to see how he is
>Nothing
>Go behind the counter and peek into the kitchen
>Kitchen is empty too
>He left

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 21:30:45 2013 No.4815304

>be incredibly sick
>fever, nightmares, sleep-deprived, puked all night
>know that I've got to eat something
>it was Sunday, I had literally nothing to eat at my place
>"Maybe I should go to Subway"
>use the toilet beforehand, diarrhea my intestines in the bowl
>change clothes, go to Subway
>wonder what that weird smell is
>enter Subway, the cute cashier is there
>order my sandwich while struggling to not fall over
>take sandwich, pay up and leave
>what is that smell
>get home, change into other clothes
>smell hits me hard
>look into my jeans
>tiny brown speck
>look into my boxers
>huge shit chunk stuck to it
>look at my legs
>more shit caught up in my leg hair

That was, all in all, a bad experience.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 21:33:44 2013 No.4815308 >>4815304 I've had that happen to me on multiple occasions. At this point I just refuse to leave the house after diarrhea unless I've had a couple showers and the sickness has passed completely.

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 21:39:47 2013 No.4815320

This was at my friends house.

>We're eating lunch and I'm having juice and she has a diet coke
>She gets up to use the rest room
>I reach over and decide to lick her straw for some reason i dont know why
>i hear footsteps and it's too late to put down the drink
>start drinking
>"hey that's mine!"
Played it off cool.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:01:45 2013 No.4815350 File: 193 KB, 724x232, you_what.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4815320 That's... gross...

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:02:45 2013 No.4815352

More awkward for my friend than me but I still think it belongs here.

>go to Souplantation (salad bar/buffet type place) with bummy friend
>friend says "dude they don't give a shit here, just grab a tray, load it with food and walk past the cashier while other people are paying"
>I go here pretty regularly with my family so I pay for my food
>he gets his stuff, skips the line, and gets a table
>about 5 minutes into our meal the manager walks up and asks my friend if he paid for his food
>friend tries to bullshit something about being rung up by a different cashier than the one that was there
>manager calls his bluff
>friend gets bounced
>manager apologizes to me for interrupting my meal, thanks me for being an honest customer "unlike some people", and brings me fresh baked cookies
>friend sits in the grass outside by the window for the next half hour while I eat and laugh at him

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:05:46 2013 No.4815356 >>4815267 He saw you go into the bathroom and went to man the adjacent gloryhole. It's like you've never been to a truckstop before.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:11:45 2013 No.4815363 >>4815228 I went to Applebees with a friend and my friend told them it was my birthday so I could get free shit and they gave me the dessert and didn't sing or anything. Pretty cool.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:12:44 2013 No.4815366 >>4815320 This is quite creepy

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:13:44 2013 No.4815368 >>4815267 He probably went to sharpen his machete and you left before he could murder you.

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:16:44 2013 No.4815373

>Be around 13 or something
>Driving to Pennsylvania to help my dad manage his restaurant
>Drop by a pit stop to get something to eat
>Order a cheese steak
>Its filled to the brim with mayo and veggies
>Fuck it
>Sit down and eat it but forgot to get napkins
>While in the middle of eating it my hands gets all messy with mayo and cheese
>My dad yells at my in Chinese
>Cursing me out and telling me I look like shit and whatnot
>Condescendingly tells me to wipe my hands on myself
>Keeps telling me to do it
>I do it
>In front of all the customers
>He calls me stupid for doing it and I get up to get napkins
>Nearly tearing up
>We leave with him smacking my head and whatnot

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:19:18 2013 No.4815376

>be edgy teen boy
>have long faggy hair
>go to eat with mom and sister
>seating guy says "right this way ladies"

>guy taking our orders gets to me
>"and for you, miss?"
>rest of meal is always awkward as fuck after they hear my voice

This happened multiple times over the course of my adolescence, and once in my adulthood even though I have short hair now and had visible facial hair that time.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:22:17 2013 No.4815378 >>4815233 I would have applauded.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:24:18 2013 No.4815383 >>4815373 He was just testing your intelligence.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:25:18 2013 No.4815385 >>4815153 >NTR What does this mean?

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:30:18 2013 No.4815392 >>4815385 Netorare OP's post stretches the definition a bit but basically it's when a person's spouse/gf/bf/ect gets screwed or raped by someone else and winds up dumping their original partner for them

>>	Bleak !DPKFpqEOXE Fri Sep 20 22:32:19 2013 No.4815398 File: 270 KB, 500x375, napolean.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4815256 >finish the meal with way more than we need >he stuff them into his cargo shorts Your friend sounds cool.

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:40:49 2013 No.4815405 >>4815392 Thanks.

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:41:49 2013 No.4815408
File: 137 KB, 453x668, 1369562361124.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4815153
>Be 12 and having to endure 3 long days of driving from Maine to Georgia for a trip
>Miserable as fuck, feel carsick the whole trip down
>It's only worse, since I have a fear of vomiting
>We stop at a hibachi bar and I still feel like shit
>Very small restaurant, I believe there were only 2 or 3 other families there
>Get up to use the bathroom and start crying in frustration and tired of feeling this miserable for 3 days now.
>Didn't know the whole restaurant could hear me
>Dad comes over to try to comfort me
>How did he know?
>Go back to our table and see everyone staring
>Oh, no wonder...
>The chef tries to be nice and get my attention by making me extra for some banana dessert
>He's flinging banana in people's mouths with his spatula
>Everyone is having a good time now as they get their little bits of food
>Tells me it's my turn
>I don't want to
>Open my mouth anyway
>Hot banana slice on my cheek instead
>I'm the only one who couldn't get it in their mouth
>Feel embarrassed from that and the whole restaurant hearing me cry, still nauseous
>Go to the hotel room that night
>Look in the mirror and tell myself I'm never going on a long car trip again
>And no more hibachi bars
>Go a few years later anyway
>Again I'm the only person who couldn't catch food in their mouths

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 22:54:49 2013 No.4815424 >>4815376 Have had this happen so many times. Was never once embarrassed.

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 23:14:50 2013 No.4815459
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>>4815376
> be male
> was 18, about 5 years ago
> had long hair, baby face
> worked as a cashier
> Woman comes up to get checked out and goes "Oh miss, could you split this into seperate orders?" or something like that.
> I answer back with something, but I mumbled so she didn't hear me
>" Honey just give the girl your candy she has to scan it"
>mfw

>>	Anonymous Fri Sep 20 23:18:48 2013 No.4815462 >>4815153 What a terrible made-up story OP. You'll never be Awkward Fast Food Guy, so don't even try.

Anonymous Fri Sep 20 23:25:48 2013 No.4815473

>>4815459
I once took ski lessons when I was 11. I had long hair, a high voice, and a baby face. I was with a group of like 5 girls and the instructor referred to me as a female. I didn't correct him.

I took lessons for 6 weeks and befriended a girl. I'm not sure if anyone there thought I was a boy.

I don't know how I don't have gender issues from that.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 00:31:42 2013 No.4815598 File: 5 KB, 260x194, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4815267 What anon didn't yet realize was that this was the moment when he entered.. THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

Anonymous Sat Sep 21 00:55:41 2013 No.4815625

This wasnt much of a "dining experience but its pretty fun And I have posted it before.

>cook in a restaurant
>quite slow Tuesday afternoon
>I have a great view of the entire restuarant from the ticket counter, where i chill until some one orders something
>some old lady comes in and is seated by our waitress, a semi new girl.
>the old lady orders a steak with broccoli sauteed in bacon fat.
>k.
>send out the dish
>I see the old lady looking at it and not really eating it
>she takes a picture
>she asks the waitress to come over and then asks if our plates have ever been used to serve non kosher food.
>she says she doesnt know but shell ask the chef
> I think Isnt pig non kosher, and didnt she order for bacon sauted asparagus?
>the old lady fucking flips her shit and starts saying how she cant eat off from plates that are used to serve non kosher food
Cont.

Anonymous Sat Sep 21 01:00:44 2013 No.4815631

>>4815625
>she lashes out as our waitress and calls her a gentile, and demands to talk to the manager
>manager comes out and tries to calm her down
>old lady yells at how we are disrespecting her people and then asks us if we remember all the trouble her people have gone through
>our manager says he is so sorry and then says he will grab a brand new plate from the back for her
>old lady follows him to the back and watches him pull one out of an unopened box and then demands that they wash it with brand new soap and detergent
>Remake her food and serve it on a brand new plate
>she finally sits down and asks our waitress to stand next to her table in case she needed anything
>she stands there for 45 min. if she tries to leave the lady starts to yell
>our manager had to wait on her tables.
>she leaves without paying and leaves no tip.

Anonymous Sat Sep 21 01:03:44 2013 No.4815637

> slow day in the kitchen
> 4 bussiness dudes come in
> all ask for steak
> 3 medium rare and 1 well done
> ughhh motherfucker
> finish and send them out
> ask the waitress how they liked their steaks
> she tells me they all drenched them in ketchup and steak sauce before even trying them
>die a little inside.

Bleak !DPKFpqEOXE Sat Sep 21 01:08:42 2013 No.4815644

>>4815462

The story fails on principle, anyway. Autistic Fast Food Guy never eats indoors. He eats inside his old beater of a car that has a seemingly infinite void of McDonald's Wrappers, Wendy's Nuggets boxes, and dried and caked on Milkshake containers that cockroaches and other vermin tend to feast upon.

Also
>>decide to sit down with them after politely asking

If by asking "politely" what is mean is "Stand awkwardly, sweating, shuffling feet, looking at the ground sipping a Diet Coke, is what is meant, then maybe.

Anonymous Sat Sep 21 01:08:42 2013 No.4815645

>>4815473
Yo man I have a similar story
>be a jungle beaner from a tribe in mexico
> dark skinned and very feminine face with long straight hair
> very skinny
>go to america when I was 7 along with twin sister
>teacher introduces us as twin girls

I was a "tomboy" till like age 13.
the entire cultural backlash didn't let me know any better.
I thought I HAD to do everything like the girls, like pee sitting down and shit.
Fucked up my childhood

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 01:12:41 2013 No.4815654 >>4815625 >>4815631 And you Murricans wonder why we gassed them all ...

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 01:12:41 2013 No.4815655 >>4815645 Peeing sitting down is the best way honestly. Unless you're in. Hurry or something.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 01:14:43 2013 No.4815662 >>4815631 >implying what people of her faith endured nearly 70 years ago has anything to do with what she deserves now.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 01:23:51 2013 No.4815673 >>4815408 oh anon i love you so. that was a great story. Im busting up over here At least the experience was good for something right? You should try that on girls or something

Anonymous Sat Sep 21 01:41:43 2013 No.4815702

>go out with friends
>eat at this amazing burger place
>one friend has never been there
>he spots the qt3.14 waitress who has been working there for a few years
>instantly begins hitting on her
>she laughs and ignores him
>he keeps doing it
>gets to the point where she's fidgeting uncomfortably anytime he speaks
>stop it, you're making her uncomfortable
>>she loves it, I'm going to slip her my number
>she hates it and you're going to ruin this place for us
>>it's cool just watch the master at work

>proceeds to hit on her by talking about how nice her tits are, offers his number and tries to physically put it in her hand
>she starts to raise her voice
>he grabs her by the wrist and plants his number squarely in her hand
>she screams and hits him
>manager asks us all to leave
>asspie friend gets banned
>apologise profusely to the qt
>she looks emotionally damaged

>never go back there

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 01:44:44 2013 No.4815705 File: 161 KB, 1214x257, lolwendys.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 01:50:43 2013 No.4815708 >>4815392 I thought it was "never to return"

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 01:58:42 2013 No.4815719 >>4815207 >the staff asks him to leave for being racist Yeah, this probably didn't happen.

Anonymous Sat Sep 21 02:01:42 2013 No.4815723

>Go to the food counter in a service station
>grab this bacon roll/wrap thing from behind some sliding glass
>go to cash register
>girl scans it
>I hand her cash and grab it back off her
>get change
>no words were spoken
>she looks at me like I'm a freak
>get back to car and start eating wrap thing
>this thing was supposed to be toasted buy the checkout girl after you buy it
>I sit in my car eating raw bacon and horrible cold cheese thing

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 02:04:43 2013 No.4815727 File: 6 KB, 197x256, 1374894964924.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4815320 >for some reason I don't know why you knew exactly why you cheeky kunt

Anonymous Sat Sep 21 02:23:42 2013 No.4815740

>>4815702
>Get promoted to district vp at work
>Girlfriend and I decide to go to dinner at Mortons
>Show up at her condo not expecting her fag-hag roommate to be home so early
>Hag is crying on the stairs over some distant relative being in the hospital after getting hit by a car
>Says one of her boi-tois is coming over to hang out and cook for her
>"Anon was promoted at work today so we're going to celebrate at Mortons"
>Hags face lights up and the tears stop
>I LOVE MORTONS! I'll ask Francois (real name is Francis) if he wants to join us
>Umm, no
>Well we won't go together but we can have drinks together
>O-okay
>"Francois" shows up fucked up on something
>Get to Mortons and the fag offers to blow the Valet at the top of his lungs
>cont

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 02:30:23 2013 No.4815749 am i on /r9k/?

Anonymous Sat Sep 21 02:31:23 2013 No.4815751

>>4815740
>inform the hostess that we are two separate parties
>stand at bar while table is prepared and order cocktails
>Fag gets a Zombie and shots of brandy
>Faghag had told the hostess that we were one party when she "went to potty"
>SEAT US TOGETHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DINING ROOM
>Fag "mimes" groping all the waiters and water boys as they walk past
>Our server brings out another round of cocktails including his two shots
>chugs them all and stands up to slam the glass upside down on the table
>starts getting louder by the minute about all the "hot cocks" that work there
>hag is giggling her clit off until her toi passes out and falls in the floor
>asks if she can babysit him in the car to make sure he doesn't get in trouble "or die"
>No, call a cab
>Pouts and takes her fag home
>Blissful dinner in a corner booth alone
>Find hag crying outside in the grass at home because we would not answer the phone when she called
>Francois had puked and shit diarrhea all over her bed
>Justice

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 02:36:23 2013 No.4815757 >>4815189 >go to sushi what

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 02:40:23 2013 No.4815761 >>4815757 That does sound weird, doesn't it? Huh... Guess I've always said it that way. Dropped the "get" for no particular reason. Maybe it's NW colloquial.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 02:45:24 2013 No.4815767 File: 186 KB, 960x783, 1365733987842.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4815751

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 02:48:23 2013 No.4815772 >>4815757 If a place sells sushi you can go to it, I don't see a problem. For some reason if you change it to "go to burger" That's just absurd

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 03:31:26 2013 No.4815820 >>4815196 >not going for the shelfish pun

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 03:50:26 2013 No.4815849 >>4815256 Your friend sounds cool

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 03:56:27 2013 No.4815854 >>4815267 BUT WHO WAS CLUB SANDWICH?

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 03:58:27 2013 No.4815860 >>4815708 i'm being very condescending when i say no, that's not it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 03:59:27 2013 No.4815863 >>4815405 More specifically it's a fetish thing, and said stealing of significant other comes not from love, but physical pleasure or mindbreak.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 04:00:26 2013 No.4815867 >>4815424 Still happens to me. I just raise the pitch of my voice now. But no fucks given.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 04:00:27 2013 No.4815865 >>4815352 The worst is when you go somewhere with a friend and they start doing something dickish...

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 04:04:26 2013 No.4815883 >>4815637 Ketchup is a god-tier condiment and ketchup-steak is a god-tier dish. You just have to think of it as any other beef dish with sauce.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 04:07:27 2013 No.4815891 >>4815883 Fuck you. It's high fructose corn syrup with red food coloring a little tomato concentrate. In no way is ketchup a good condiment, it just makes fat fucks happy with a good blood sugar spike.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 04:09:27 2013 No.4815894 >>4815891 >Fuck you. It's high fructose corn syrup with red food coloring a little tomato concentrate. That's like half of good chinese food there without the tomato you giant faggot.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 04:09:27 2013 No.4815895 >>4815631 Why did you guys not kick her out when you knew she was just there to cause a scene? Shes old so its not like she has any friends to give bad word of mouth to.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 04:10:26 2013 No.4815897 >>4815637 But if they know that they like the flavor of steak sauce then whats the big deal?

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 04:26:25 2013 No.4815924 >>4815157 >delete this thread you must be new here

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 10:28:07 2013 No.4816333 >>4815308 It made me really paranoid of having shit still somewhere on my ass or something.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 11:27:32 2013 No.4816455 >>4815376 Man, I was a faggy 12 year old too. It luckily stopped some time though.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 11:29:32 2013 No.4816458 >>4815153 >2013 >still trying to pick up worthless American trash women good goy. don't go to Asia where you can actually find high class, high quality women for cheap. Nope, continue chasing these worthless, monster scum sucking western bitches.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 15:14:47 2013 No.4816988 >>4815705 >debit card >$2 in change That's where his story falls apart.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 15:22:47 2013 No.4817000 >>4815924 Because only people who are new know how to delete a thread? Makes sense.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 17:28:44 2013 No.4817192 >>4816458 Give me the money to travel to Asia and then we'll talk turkey

>>	NotAJew !73VOHXDuLo Sat Sep 21 21:59:02 2013 No.4817866 >>4815654 Doin gods work.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 22:09:00 2013 No.4817892 >>4816458 yes, those well-known nonmaterialistic Asian women

Anonymous Sat Sep 21 22:17:02 2013 No.4817911

>run out of money
>run out of normal food things
>make refried beans from old bags of dried beans I never did anything with
>make tortillas from masa I forgot about for months
>everything turned out better than expected
>still don't know how I'm going to pay fastly approaching rent

Hello? I am confuse. How do I get out of here? I am not good with computer.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 22:22:04 2013 No.4817927 >>4815631 >>4815625 This never happened.

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 22:26:01 2013 No.4817937 >>4815256 not sure if shitty or godly

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 22:27:01 2013 No.4817942 >>4815267 contrary to popular belief, whites aren't very criminal

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 22:29:01 2013 No.4817945 >>4815320 >i wanted to try it silly ;) oh u!

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 22:32:01 2013 No.4817955 >>4815408 >maine to georgia >3 days man your parents suck >hotels jesus christ

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 22:48:01 2013 No.4818003 >>4815207 >staff asks him to leave because he was being too retarded

>>	Anonymous Sat Sep 21 22:53:01 2013 No.4818012 >>4818003 Prohibited under the ADA.

Anonymous Sat Sep 21 23:08:02 2013 No.4818047
File: 1.89 MB, 320x240, 1378488445640.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Back when I was in secondary school
>It's lunch time
>Chilling at local cafe
>'Friend' says he'll buy us something to eat
>Orders our food
>We eat
>He fucking runs off without paying and leaves me behind
>I have no fucking money to pay the bill
>Have to dig around my wallet and pockets for change like a retard

Swisscheese Sat Sep 21 23:45:02 2013 No.4818134

>me traveling alone on business
>be in Miami Florida not far off from "Calle Ocho" and 27 @ 4:00pm or so
>be hungry, see "Italian Restaurant" sign.
>Stop, find parking
>Go in, looks like a nice little authentic Italian place.
>Hostess is old Russian womyn, takes me to table.
>Several older Russians mens appear from nowhere to all stand around bar speaking Russian.
>Can see they all have guns.
>Oh Gawd, I'm in a Russian Mafia restaurant.
>Waitress comes to take order, I order some sort of shrimp and pasta.
>Waitress asks about my accent. I'm Swiss, from Switzerland.
>She disapears
>All men at bar turn to look at me.
>2 come over. Oh I'm going to die.
>They smile, start talking, real friendly.
>Conversation starts, I'm hesitant at first, but they were really cool.
>Many hours of conversation and eating and drinking and some light gambling of Eucher at the table pass.
>At some point was served A single breaded Shrimp. The 1 Shrimp was as big as the dinner plate.
>Be after 12:00am when all breaks up, many handshakes and some man hugs.
>Made friends with good, but scary, Russian people.
>Go to that restaurant everytime I am in Miami.

All Good Feels man.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 00:06:01 2013 No.4818170

>cruising with 2 buddies last winter
>both are smoking weed, I dont smoke as it makes me paranoid and retarded
>go into mcdonalds drive through
>get food, pull into parking lot to eat
>get mild contact high
>have to take a piss
>walk inside and use the bathroom
>standing at urinal
>door opens
>female voice, giggling
>wat
>"Hey *giggle* would the cute guy in there come to my table after your...*giggle*.. done"
>wat
>walk out of bathroom
>table with 3 average looking chicks at it and one dipshit guy wearing a fedora
>one of the girls waves me over
>"Hey my friend thinks you're hot you should give her your number"
>her friend is super fucking embarrassed
>feel awkward as hell and again slightly paranoid
>dont know wat do

"That's nice, but I'm way to high for this shit, I came here for a burger not a hookup"

And then I walked out.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 00:12:01 2013 No.4818176 >>4818134 Swap Miami for Philadelphia, 'Italian restaurant' for 'Austrian restaurant' and Russian mafia for Polish mafia and I'd ask if you are me, down to being Swiss and everything.

Swisscheese Sun Sep 22 00:22:16 2013 No.4818190

>>4818176
An Austrian Restaurant? Seriously? In all my travels on 2 continents I do not think I have ever seen a restaurant serving Austrian food except for in Austria.
Americans have bastardized "popular" german food, yes. But Austrian? That is a new one to me.
Same as trying to find Swiss style raclette in USA. Impossible, except for trendy "fondue" restaurants.

I have a visceral HATE for Philadelphia that I refuse to ever go there again, so I doubt I'll ever have a chance to see the fabled Austrian Restaurant of that city.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 00:28:17 2013 No.4818198 >>4818190 It's called Austrian Village. Now STFU

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 00:42:17 2013 No.4818212

>>4818198
That's not the one I was talking about. The one in question is now closed, but the food was quite good, surprisingly. It was a little sweeter than what I'm used to but I guess that's because it was cooked by Poles for Poles and Polish savouries have a notorious sweetness to them.

>>4818190
I have never seen raclette of any sort in America. There was a Romand-owned Swiss restaurant here when I first moved into my own in Philadelphia in 2006. The owner and I lamented the lack of raclette here.
Do you live in the US and if you do, do you get as annoyed as I do that the best place to buy proper chocolates (the stereotypes are true: Swiss do eat a metric fucktonne of chocolate) in the US is Aldi?

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 01:32:36 2013 No.4818270

>>4817927
I actually wouldn't doubt it. My grandmother (although not Jewish) was a crazy old bitch who did shit like this wherever she went (the bank, the grocery store, etc.) She'd either get all angry like that, or she'd act super feeble and helpless... then slip up and show that she was actually quite capable of dashing through aisles, holding onto things with an iron grip, etc. She'd also pit people against each other with different stories. She was the one person that caused me (and several others) relief when she finally died.

Point is, some old bitches be crazy.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 02:06:54 2013 No.4818304 >>4818134 >hotline miami

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 02:10:53 2013 No.4818309

>>4815207
>the staff asks him to leave for being racist
Yeah, no.

Also, I'm white, I love asian food, but I have never once attempted to thank for the meal in anything but english. I won't even attempt to say a meal's name if I'm not sure I can pronounce it correctly, because I don't want to spaghetti. I'll just point and be like "this, please".

Or the best luck is with this pho place that has the best fried squid I've ever had; everything is numbered so I just give the number instead. Fried squid appetizer, bowl of pho, and if I'm REALLY hungry, the marinated beef salad, all split between three people.

>>4815228
For my brother's tenth birthday (and, for both of us into his late teens afterward) Dad took us to Hooters. Yes, a ten-year old boy and his friends at Hooters. When they get him up on the stool, he was supposed to dance or shake this cup filled with spoons or some shit, but all he did was stare downward. Fucking hilarious.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 02:17:53 2013 No.4818316 >>4815376 I used to get mocked in middle school because I could pass as 30, at 12. Seriously, had a full beard well before my bar mitzvah.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 02:28:53 2013 No.4818323 >>4818176 Name and address of the austrian place? I'm from Cherry Hill, so I'm only half an hour away from Philly, I'd love to try something new.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 02:48:53 2013 No.4818346 >>4815883 1/10 try harder

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 08:29:34 2013 No.4818703 >>4818323 see >>4818212

Swisscheese Sun Sep 22 09:28:28 2013 No.4818757

>>4818212
I am in USA, Cincinnati area of Ohio actually and am about 1.5 kilometer from an Aldi, I go there often, yes for the chocolate. :D:D:D
Even though the chocolate that Aldi carries is German made it melts nicely for souffle and other treats.

As for raclette, the closest I have seen in USA was at a little place in Centerville Ohio on Route 725; thinking I might get a little taste of home without having to make it myself... well... it was OK but not quite right for raclette.

Sadly, I think things are done for the American palette of taste sacrificing quality of product of traditional continental cuisines.
Even in "German Village" in Columbus Ohio, there is Schmidt's Sausage Haus, which is a very old, very popular restaurant; however it is almost a parody of cliche's of German food. Their Cream Horn is excellent though.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 09:33:27 2013 No.4818765 >>4815153 >dining >McD's that was awkward

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 10:09:04 2013 No.4818803

>>4818757
They carry no Swiss chocolate, true, and carry mostly German and Austrian though I've seen Italian chocolates and, much to my surprise, Irish. The Irish chocolate was a variety box. I bought it. It was basically a chocolate version of allsorts IE none of them tasted of chocolate much as no piece of allsorts tastes as licorice does.

Ours is generally a well-off nation and most of us have little interest in leaving, so it's rare to find Swiss products outside of Maggi/Nestle abroad as there are very few Swiss outside of Switzerland to buy it. Same with Germany and Austria. Other than Jews after the war, large-scale emigration from these countries to the US generally ended sometime in the early 1800s.

After nearly 200 years of isolation from its compatriates, of course the European originals will have changed to American originals and there is no sacrifice of quality, per se, just a difference in preference. Expecting to find our traditional foods in a nation over 6000km away across a damned ocean when you'd be hardpressed to find them in countries neighbouring ours will just leave you dissatisfied and unhappy. Rather find American foods that match your tastes.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 10:10:04 2013 No.4818805

>>4818757

American here, raclette is no problem to find where I live (an actual city). Leave the heartland, rural America is just a parody of itself now where people drive around in big trucks that they don't need, carry guns that they shouldn't be trusted with, and convince themselves they live in an exaggerated macho reality even though everything is done by huge sophisticated agricultural machinery now. There's nothing left, just leave and come to a city where you can have normal food instead of horrific casseroles made of canned string beans and cream of mushroom soup. Urban life is the real reality and anyone who pretends otherwise is living in a self-imposed fantasy.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 10:31:36 2013 No.4818825 >>4815153 >speechless How can anyone be speechless after some highschool level bullshit like that? There is no reason to leave a mcdonalds if there are plenty of empty tables. McDonalds has free wi-fi ffs, they don't care if people hang around.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 10:37:35 2013 No.4818834

>>4818805
Have you been to and had raclette in Switzerland? Having had raclette in the US, it's good but it's not the same. It lacks the bite characteristic of raclette. Raclette tastes like a cross between provola and brie or camembert with a stronger bite/tang and less of a sweet finish. Raclette I've had in America tastes like a cross between provola and gorgonzola with less of a bite and a strong sweet-cream finish. It's good. It's tasty. But it's not the same.

As I said already, living over 6000km away from Switzerland and expecting to find proper Swiss foods is silly, so I just avoid them altogether.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 10:38:35 2013 No.4818836 >>4815373 Is this how most asian parents are? Because that is awesome.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 10:48:06 2013 No.4818848

>>4818834

I haven't been to Switzerland, but I'm not clear on how something like raclette would change so dramatically in transport, or at least, why it would be more affected than any other cheese (and I don't hear people complaining that their imported gorgonzola doesn't taste the same on this side of the Atlantic).

Are you sure you're not eating something labeled "raclette" that's actually made in Wisconsin?

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 11:03:05 2013 No.4818864

>>4818848
I currently live in the fifth largest city in the US and have difficulty finding raclette here. Even when driving an hour and a half to New York, it's not easy to find proper, Swiss raclette.
The five times I've bought 'raclette' each turned out to be different from what I grew up with. I doubt its authenticity because the US doesn't protect AOC/PDO. Whether it was made in the US or in France, I can't say, but it wasn't raclette as I know it. Again, not bad, but not the same.
While we're on the subject of American cheeses, I actually prefer American 'cheddars' to proper ones. Sorry, Britain!

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:06:43 2013 No.4818949 >>4818309 >Yes, a ten-year old boy and his friends at Hooters I don't get it Hooters is just a restaurant with waitresses slightly more attractive than average. >now if your dad took you to one of those topless diners....

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:07:41 2013 No.4818951 >>4818949 they're not more attractive, they're just wearing less.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:10:43 2013 No.4818958

>>4818864
>Whether it was made in the US or in France, I can't say

That's kind of an important thing to check if you're going to worry about AOC, don't you think?

What kind of places are you going to if you can buy cheese that doesn't even have a country of origin label?

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:19:29 2013 No.4818976
File: 41 KB, 1212x1212, 1377133398331.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>be 8-10 ish
>be with dad and his friends in an asian restaurant
>a lot of us order some lamb dish (they ordered for me as well)
>get the food
>start eating
>daddy and the rest are curious if it really is lamb meat
>turns into a big conversation around the table
>randomly i say "i didn't know the lamb's bones were so small"
>some guy to my dad: "your son is right"
>"this isn't lamb meat! they have bigger bones"
>they ask for the waiter to get a new dish and want to complain to the chef
>i'm pointed out as "even this kid knows that this isn't lamb meat"
>everyone around the table agree and suddenly i'm the lamb bone expert
>waiter looks at me
>i try to focus on the table cloth
>feel like it's my fault the waiter got yelled at
>feel like it's my fault the chef had to make an apology

I don't really remember what they served us instead of lamb meat, but I think it was duck.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:21:29 2013 No.4818982

>>4818958
Each time, it's been labeled as 'swiss raclette.' The shops I've gone too have been reputable, but I think that it's more about American general lack of understanding/knowledge of proper European cheeses. I can get Italian cheeses quite easily as well as a few French ones, but beyond these two countries, European are mostly absent from American shops. Like... 70% of the cheeses at any given shop will be Italian or French with the rest of the world represented by the remaining 30%. Good luck finding Büsciun stateside.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:23:27 2013 No.4818984 >>4818982 america only imports what people will buy, and we can't make ourselves

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:25:28 2013 No.4818986

>>4818984
Exactly what I was saying above (>>4818803: Ours is generally a well-off nation and most of us have little interest in leaving, so it's rare to find Swiss products outside of Maggi/Nestle abroad as there are very few Swiss outside of Switzerland to buy it).
Also, every country is like that. Who would import what others won't buy? Supply and demand, of course.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:31:28 2013 No.4818997 >>4818986 you're whining about how america wont buy your shitty cheese it's because no one wants it

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:33:28 2013 No.4819001 File: 50 KB, 468x635, SwissSheepL_468x6351.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4818997 I would buy Swiss cheese despite disliking Swiss people and culture. I wouldn't buy it often, but I would buy it.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:33:28 2013 No.4819002 >>4818976 lamb and duck are nothing similar. what is wrong with you.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:35:28 2013 No.4819003

>Live in a medical marijuana state
>Friend visits from across the country
>Manage to get him a hookup while he's staying with me (I don't smoke)
>Take him out to eat dinner the first night there
>He smokes beforehand and gets in the car reeking of marijuana
>We go to a grill / cafe nearby that I frequent
>QT asian waitress who I always make pleasant conversation with seats us
>Friend spends fifteen minutes vocally going over the menu several times
>Proceeds to order a huge amount of fries and a shake
>Blows into his shake and it overflows onto the table
>He giggles at the top of his lungs at the mess and shouts "GOD MAN, I'M WAY TOO HIGH FOR THIS! YOU GOT ME SOME GREAT BUD, MAN!"
>My internal dialogue involves screaming NO over and over at this point
>He lays on his booth cushion and pulls fries down into his face
>At this point he's managing a continuous groan, and everybody is staring
>I tell the QT server I'm moving to the outdoor seating area, and that I'm not with him
>I apologize to her when she comes to refill my drink
>Pay, tip 40%, and leave him inside
>He came back two hours later with the cops
>Freak out behind the door
>He was pissing in the public park
>Never welcome in my home again

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:36:29 2013 No.4819004
File: 314 KB, 400x284, =S.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4819001
so would i but i wouldn't expect it to be widespread
because come on, USA is pretty much the cheese capital of the world.

And now i am remembering the meat shop i used to go to, and how the old ladies there had to close up shop

thanks bro

>>	Aleka !!qFhW8Jkoj/D Sun Sep 22 12:36:29 2013 No.4819005 >>4816458 I'm with you 100% completely but this is /ck/ So we should probably talk about cooking. I noticed every Asian girl I'm with could cook awesome!

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:36:29 2013 No.4819006 >>4815214 you could have written that in 1 or 2 posts top faggot you should also feel bad

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:38:29 2013 No.4819010

>>4818997
If you followed the thread, I am not at all 'whining' about anything. I live in a different country and don't expect to find the same products here as back home just as I'd be hard-pressed to find proper barbecue in Switzerland, Italy or Slovenia.
I was merely giving explanations for why our stuff aren't easily found in the US.

>>4819001
Swiss are an unfriendly people and are exceedingly xenophobic. Romands, though, tend to be less so.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:38:29 2013 No.4819011
File: 780 KB, 256x256, 1372093153299.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>be 18
>at fairly expensive restaurant with family + their friends
>they bring their 3 and 5 year old kids
>kids are throwing salt and yelling the entire time
>just as the mains are served the 5 year old goes over to indoor garden setup
>starts pissing everywhere
>shakes around violently while laughing peeing on a tree and all the plants around it
>their parents flip out when they realise
>have to eat my main with the entire restaurant peering over at us
>leave as quickly as possible as soon as im done
>mfw

Don't bring your kids out until they are at least 10 for fucks sake.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:41:29 2013 No.4819016
File: 1006 KB, 500x281, 1358636137116.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4815228

>In college
>Go out to eat with my roommates
>Some place I'd never heard of...Jackasters? (I'm from the north, this was North Carolina)
>Decent atmosphere, prices are reasonable, standard fare
>Burgers, ribs, chicken, steaks, etc.
>Server thinks my accent funny, asks me to read the menu for a few other servers
>Why not, I'll be a good sport
>We get our food, pretty good, good portion, steak was cooked as I ordered it
>One of my roommates goes and talks to the server
>Just finishing up, and the server comes back over with 4 or 5 other servers
>"We hear it's somebody's anniversary!"
>Go over to two of my roommates, make them stand on their chairs while they sing, give them each a bowl of ice cream
>Old guys sitting behind us look on in disgust at 2 men sharing an anniversary
>Servers stop singing, they leave, roommates sit back down
>Ask them, "Guys...you aren't gay or dating. Tom, you're engaged. Why didn't you say anything."
>Tom looks at me, holds up his bowl, and in his southern drawl says, "Dude...free ice cream."

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:43:29 2013 No.4819020 >>4819016 I lol'd

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:46:27 2013 No.4819027 >friend's 12th birthday party >pile in his dad's suburban >"where we going?" >"hooters bro"

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:47:28 2013 No.4819030 File: 90 KB, 300x300, costan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4815228 >mfw americans clap at birthdays

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 12:59:28 2013 No.4819053

>go to play with girlfriend, her friends, and one of my friends
>plan to go out to pizza place afterwards
>other friends ask my friend that is with us what he's doing tonight
>he tells them he's going to the restaurant with us after the show
>they invite themselves
>so now we have like a 14 person party (instead of 5 or 6) at this pizza place on saturday night
>$6 pitchers of shock top
>there are families in the room as well as a group of frat guys
>two people from the group that invited themselves start to get drunk and play the penis game
>frat guys join in
>screaming PENIS in the restaurant
>families and people around us starting to get angry
>what the fuck guys we're all in our early 20s why are you acting like fucking children
>literally trying to cover one of my friends' mouths so he will stop shouting PENIS
>girlfriend's friends are super embarrassed
>have to apologize to all of them after we leave

They maintain that they did nothing wrong and were just having fun.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 13:04:27 2013 No.4819065 >>4819011 oh, you can bring along kids of any age. But 5 year olds throwing around salt and PISSING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM is a certain sign of catastrophically failed parenting.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 13:05:27 2013 No.4819068 >>4819065 >you can bring along kids of any age ...if and only if your kids in particular have demonstrated the ability to behave.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 13:14:01 2013 No.4819082
File: 189 KB, 321x377, 1369581709357.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Here's a great one

>Working, doing a job for the power company
>They have to reset a pole and affix the transformers before we can do our job
>Getting late (9 pm) decide to get some food while we wait
>5 of us, one guy is an older black guy
>Ignorant as fuck
>Only place thats open is a chinese restaurant
>We go in, look at the menus, tell the guy at the counter that we'll be taking out
>Black guy goes first, loud as shit, demanding that the guy tell him whats in the shrimp and garlic sauce meal
>Guy at the counter starts listing he veggies, shrimp, rice, and sauce
>Black guy is demanding that they add other veggies that don't come with the meal for free
>Counter guy has no idea how to respond, gets the owner
>After about 10 minutes (with a line forming behind us), black guy finally decides what veggies he wants with his meal
>It's what originally came with it
>For fucks sake
>The rest of us order, all while he comments (rather loudly) "Fucking chinks, these places always stink."
>He wanders off while we wait, we apologize, the owner is understanding
>We get our food, and black guy comes from around the corner
>Whiskey on his breath
>He walked down to the bar at the other end of the strip mall and ordered a bunch of shots...on an empty stomach...while we were still working...getting ready to go back to the job site
>He gets his food, and can't wait until we make the 5 minute drive back to the job site to eat
>Spills garlic sauce all over my truck seat
>"Hey, this chink shit is pretty good."
>After all that, MFW

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 13:16:01 2013 No.4819087 >>4819082 check your privilege, racist afro-americans are just like me and you kill yourself

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 13:21:02 2013 No.4819096 >>4819087 >afro-americans are just like me and you Rude, ignorant and racist? I'll give you the last part, shtiskin.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 13:22:02 2013 No.4819098 File: 9 KB, 258x196, Optimus 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4819087 But I'm a robot. I can't be racist. It's not a part of my neural subroutines. Why do humans insist on only seeing the differences?

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 13:23:02 2013 No.4819101 >>4819098 ...because there's more than meets the eye.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 13:27:01 2013 No.4819106 File: 333 KB, 1020x640, Optimus Prime Thumbs Up.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4819101

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 13:43:02 2013 No.4819130

>Halloween
>go out to a party with gf
>she's Tuxedo Mask and I'm Sailor Moon
>I have a full beard, mad chest hair, hairy ass legs and arms, pretty much bear mode
>leave the party after a while, stop by some fucking restaurant that she was in love with but I can't remember the name of it
>waitress comes up for our order, my back is to her, guess she didn't see my beard
>takes girl's order and asks "and what would you like to drink, ma'am?"
>"Sprite" in my naturally low voice, turn to look at her with a smile
>she spaghettis and apologizes profusely
>apologizes every time she comes to the tabl
>eating my burger while feeling everyone stare at me
>leave the waitress a good tip and go have Sailor Moon roleplaying sex with my girl
>tfw I was the little girl

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 13:58:05 2013 No.4819150 >>4819087 >>4819082 check your privilege, racist afro-americans are just like me and you kill yourself looks like mods are supporting the evil white patriarchy i'm calling the NAACP

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 14:01:05 2013 No.4819151 I was invited to meet an African warlord and he offered me some sesame cake but when I took a bite he told me to stop eating his sesame cake.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 14:04:03 2013 No.4819153 >>4815207 >"gochisosama!" That's not even what you say after a meal, that a misheard attempt of him calling the waiter "Master" as if he was a maid.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 14:23:03 2013 No.4819176
File: 5 KB, 183x275, HNI_0035_JPG.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>be at Wendys
>a married couple walks in with a young child who is about 2 months old
>they sit at a table right in front of me
>ok
>keep eating
>all of the sudden, she lifts up her shirt showing her tits
>about choked in shock
>she is breast feeding the child
>the staff didnt notice suprisingly
>after i ate i got up, and the mother got up to use the restroom, lifting her shirt up again
>i accidently put my face in between her tits, showing EVERYONE her nipples
>whyboner
>my dick actually grinds her crotch
>she makes a small moan
>backed up abd noticed the husband right behind me
>OH FUCK
>he is uber pissed
>run out of there, knocking over some chairs in the process
>start the car and zoom out of there

Im never going back to that wendys again

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 14:31:03 2013 No.4819188 >>4819176 I like that you accidentally put your face in her boobs like a shitty harem anime. I think the husband should have penetrated you.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 14:44:05 2013 No.4819208 >>4815723 What the fuck

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 14:56:03 2013 No.4819227 >>4819082 If he still has his job after that, then this is why I hate unions.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:00:03 2013 No.4819236 >>4815751 >fag, etc.. Sorry you had a bad experience, but there's no reason to keep pointing out that the guy is gay. Next time, choose your company more carefully.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:07:04 2013 No.4819252

>>4819011
it can be different.
>eating out
>muslim in a white gown, wife in burqa and 2 kids of around 5, 6 years old
>kids start to make noise as kids usually do
>father makes a short but powerful "shh" sound
>kids didn't open their mouths for the rest of their stay

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:08:02 2013 No.4819253 >>4818190 >austrian food doesn't exist Why do you think they call it WIENerschnitzel dumbass?

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:12:02 2013 No.4819260
File: 10 KB, 460x460, 1344986679499.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Go to Sushi Neko(Best sushi place in OKC)
>Order Sushi, really friendly Japanese waiter won't stop talking to us
>Starts telling us about his favorite movies while we are eating
>Shows us his Rocky Balboa impression

I....I don't know how to feel. I still go there, but damn

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:14:03 2013 No.4819265 >>4819253 If that would've been austrian it would've been called a viennaschnitzel christians 0 Autheïsts 1

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:18:02 2013 No.4819270 >>4819265 What are you, some kind of retard?

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:22:03 2013 No.4819274 >>4819270 Yes.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:25:04 2013 No.4819279 >>4819153 Upon finishing a meal, the Japanese also use the polite phrase Gochisōsama-deshita (ごちそうさまでした?) (lit. You were a Feast (preparer))

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:26:03 2013 No.4819281 >>4819153 The phrase you were thinking of was "goshujinsama" ;)

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:29:03 2013 No.4819288

>april 2011
>in Palm Springs for Big 4 show (Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax)
>entire family decided to go to Palm Springs with me (not for the show, though)
>my dad's step dad lives in the area
>we go out to dinner with step-grandpa and his wife the night before the show
>I've only met them once when I was younger
>they start hugging and kissing me like they've known me forever
>whoarethesepeople.jpg
>I hate it when people I don't know well hug me
>I was so uncomfortable and wanted to hide behind my mom even though I was 20 at the time
>we sit down
>Mrs. Step-grandpa asks me what I do
>I tell her that I'm a music major studying classical voice
>she says I should go on American Idol
>that's about the worst thing you can ever say to a classical singer
>tell her as politely as I can that it's not my kind of singing
>ignores me and tells me I should be on Glee
>I'm super annoyed at this point
>she starts talking nonstop about Glee and actually lets out a teenage fangirl scream at one point
>it's taken amazing willpower to not punch her in the face

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:30:03 2013 No.4819294 File: 182 KB, 498x373, donething.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4819274 >>4819265 >>4818190 >mfw these are three different people.

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:40:27 2013 No.4819313

>>4819260

>be really young, probably 7 or 8
>go with family to tiny pizza place called Antonio's
>there is no one there but an old dude (Antonio) and a middle-aged waitress
>we order food
>my dad chats with Antonio
>he pulls up a chair to our table
>he eats pizza with us while he and my dad talk about something, I think New York because this dude used to work at a pizza place in NYC
>I'm really confused as I have never been to a place where some random guy just eats with you
>makes me really uncomfortable
>even more confused because my dad is acting like everything is okay

Of course, if that happened nowadays I'd think it was awesome. Get to talk to the guy about his passion for pizza over dinner. The place closed down a few years later, I assume Antonio died because he looked to be in his 70s at this time.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:44:26 2013 No.4819325 >>4819004 >USA is pretty much the cheese capital of the world. Do you really believe this?

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:55:27 2013 No.4819341 File: 1.05 MB, 320x240, 3298472093487.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4819130 >leave the waitress a good tip and go have Sailor Moon roleplaying sex with my girl >tfw I was the little girl

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 15:57:01 2013 No.4819345 >>4819325 unless wisconsin is in canada?

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 16:00:58 2013 No.4819350 >>4819345 Wisconsin may be the cheese capital of the US but certainly not of the world. You're not even allowed to produce or import raw milk cheese in the US.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 16:03:58 2013 No.4819351 >>4819003 Your friend sounds like fun, why not just roll with it? And also, the qt asian waitress doesn't want to bang a stiff like you.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 16:13:57 2013 No.4819368 >>4819345 >make lots of young cheddar >are we cheese capital yet?

Anonymous Sun Sep 22 16:51:30 2013 No.4819400

>in very expensive restaurant in Malaysia with my dad, two cousins (ages 19 and 6), their parents, and a few family friends

>deco is minimalist/modern, plates are small, porcelain everywhere

>6 year old cousin starts to knock over glasses, throws salt and pepper, making a general ruckus

>parents aren't doing anything about it, my dad tries to quiet him down politely

>little fucker starts eating off of other peoples' plates, parents still do nothing

>my dad fills his own plate with peppers and chilies, gently nudges them in kid's direction

>grabs a handful of peppers, his parents once again don't notice

>starts crying quietly after chewing on peppers

>dad whispers to him that he won't get him milk unless he agrees to shut up

>kid passes out on floor, has to get taken to the hospital

>dad tells no one but me about the peppers

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 16:53:30 2013 No.4819404 >>4819400 cont: it turns out that he had a small seizure, had nothing to do with peppers, everything turned out okay last I heard, he got hit by a motorcycle while running around on a busy street throwing stuff at cards

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 16:53:30 2013 No.4819406 >>4819016 Jack Astors? I don't know what you mean by "from the north", but my brother dragged me to one in Hamilton, Ontario.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 16:54:30 2013 No.4819407 >>4819404 edit: CARS

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 16:56:29 2013 No.4819410 >>4819400 >>4819404 Your dad sounds like a cool guy.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 16:59:29 2013 No.4819414 >>4819253 lrn2readingcomprehension The poster was saying that s/he's never seen an Austrian restaurant outside of Austria. S/he has seen several German restaurants, but never Austrian.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 17:01:29 2013 No.4819417 >>4819236 First week on 4chan? Lurk more dude.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 17:13:28 2013 No.4819445 >>4819350 Are there many Amish in Wisconsin?

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 17:24:29 2013 No.4819484 >>4819400 Fucking justice.

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 17:32:28 2013 No.4819504 >>4819417 Lel faggot I've been on 4chan for 8 years. The guy is making it seem like all gay people act like this (hint: they don't)

>>	Anonymous Sun Sep 22 17:55:22 2013 No.4819565 >>4815625 >the old lady orders a steak with broccoli sauteed in bacon fat. > I think Isnt pig non kosher, and didnt she order for bacon sauted asparagus? Nigga you high as fuck

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 01:00:05 2013 No.4820597 >>4819504 >implying faggots don't exist liberal faggot

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 01:02:06 2013 No.4820599 >>4819351 >acting like a manchild >fun pick one

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 01:16:06 2013 No.4820612 File: 56 KB, 373x457, mr cool ice.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4815352 I work there bruh! I'm not a "manager" but I'm a crew leader which is basically hourly management. The salad bar girls have hawk eyes for things like that.

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 01:23:55 2013 No.4820621

>>4815408
i hate that dumb hibachi gimmick. ive avoided those places for things like that, but have still went from time to time with groups of people who made plans, and things of that nature

>able to catch things in mouth and act like im having a good time master race

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 01:51:55 2013 No.4820659

I went to a really legitimate Cantonese joint with a dude i play king of fighters with. waitresses spoke Canto with me which was cool cause i usually get read as a white dude (hasian here).

anyway when it came time to order we hadn't come to an agreement on what to order and I was just like "ahhh you order dude". he didn't hear me and he just started demolishing all this fried chicken and fried rice, all surprised when nothing arrived for me.

man i usually get real mad when white ppl don't share at Chinese restaurants, but getting that shit from an official chinaman was the worst surprise. I got duck noodles soup tho and it was decent.

at least I ate really good sichuan last night dogg. I have taken three shits today already.

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 01:55:54 2013 No.4820669

I'm gonna try and recap this one as best I can. This happened maybe about a month ago.

>At girlfriend's housesitting for her and watching her dog
>Getting bored so I call up my best friend
>Decide to go to Wendy's to try that new pretzel burger
>Get to Wendy's, start ordering my meal to the obese, greasy, acne-ridden, asian teenager there
>Guy says it's gonna be a few minutes
>No problem man I'm in no rush
>Standing around waiting for meal with friend
>Obese middle-aged woman comes busting through the door with huge sunglasses on and a receipt in one hand and a big ass purse in the other
>Breathing heavily, she waddles up to the counter and demands to see a manager
>Proceeds to have an argument with black bitch manager about how she didn't get her fries with her 6 piece nugget meal or some shit
>Both of them screaming their heads off right in front of the counter where my food is about to come out from
>She finally leaves, we both grab our burgers and sit down
>Start eating a couple fries
>Hooker comes into the Wendy's
>My friend and I are busting out laughing at this point, this fucking weird series of events going down
>As we are cracking up, our friend from middle school comes out of the kitchen area (we hadn't seen him in years) and goes out to his car
>The hooker fucking follows him out there
>WAT.JPEG
>Very old woman standing in line waiting to order (people are ahead of her)
>She's blatantly talking to herself
>She sees an advertisement on the TVs in Wendy's talking about their free fish sandwiches (while supplies last)
>Starts talking about fish sandwiches (to herself)
>Starts getting really excited, eventually yelling at the fat cashier about how she wants a free fish sandwich
>She kept shouting "Go fish!!!" because she saw it in the advertisement
>Go fish!
>Free fish sandwiiiich!!!!! Go fish!!
>Cashier gets freaked out and brings out black bitch manager to explain that they don't have any more free fish sandwiches (while supplies last)
cont.

cont.

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 01:59:55 2013 No.4820677

>>4820669

>While all this is happening, my friend and I are just trying to eat these fucking burgers
>These things are fucking terrible
>Dry, stale, nasty tasting bread
>One slice of normal cheese
>Some kind of drippy, greasy nacho cheese in addition to the normal cheese for some reason
>drips out all over my plate and get some on my pants
>Feeling sick at this point so stop eating the burger and just eat the fries

No wonder no one goes to that Wendy's. It was the weirdest experience I've ever had at a restaurant.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 03:13:20 2013 No.4820789 >>4819504 He never implied he was gay.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 03:31:17 2013 No.4820819 >>4820677 Man, that sucks for you, those things are bomb as shit when they're made right. If there's a better wendy's anywhere near you, give it another go at some point.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 03:42:18 2013 No.4820834 >>4820677 Why would an Asian guy be working there? He must be extremely desperate to be working at a place like that.

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 05:19:10 2013 No.4820912

>>4819313
That shits the best dude.

>be in berkely visiting a friend
>eating at this little pizza place next to his commune
>ridiculous political quotes and comics all over the walls
>best pizza ive ever had
>got to experience that glory that is a peppadew
>whole time just chatting with the owner(late 40s) and delivery guy (late 50s)
>talking about football and random shit
>brotier as fuck
>go there 2 more times in the next 2 days

Any ways, its a made to order single oven kind of place though he does have 2-3 pizzas precooked for people who just want a slice or two.
>guy walks in
>wants plain cheese pizza
"shit dude, I dont have any fresh ones and theres a bit of a queue for the oven right now. you can wait like 20-30 minutes or Ill heat up this older pizza but I wont charge you for it"
>dude accepts two huge slices of pizza for free

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 05:39:10 2013 No.4820925 >>4819236 it's completely relevant to the character he's depicting in the story. you can fuck right off back to tumblr if you need people to censor themselves to protect your feelings, you fag-loving fucktard.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 05:43:11 2013 No.4820927 >>4819351 no, he sounds like a college freshman who can't handle his weed

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 05:50:10 2013 No.4820930 >>4820925 Your rights end where my feelings begin.

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 05:55:10 2013 No.4820933

>be 10
>be at outdoor mall
>mom lets me and little sister wander off on our own, meet later at designated spot
>go to food court
>get pretty nasty tasting chinese food
>there are birds flying around
>I love birds
>try to get one close to me by setting some of the nasty broccoli on the stone railing by our table
>some interest, but it hardly works and none of them even peck at it
>soccer mom stomps over to our table while angrily yelling "Hey! HEY!" and gets up in my face
>WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUTTING THE BROCCOLI THERE? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! PIGEONS ARE DIRTY AND DISGUSTING AND EVERYBODY HATES THEM! IF YOU WERE MY KIDS I WOULD HAVE YOU PUNISHED! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR!
>everyone staring
>no mom to turn to
>cry
>everyone continues staring, do nothing
>soccer mom stomps off triumphantly, damn proud she just told off a 10-year-old

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 06:01:10 2013 No.4820936

>>4819252

that's because non-white people actually know how to keep their children in line, they don't fight teachers who give C's to shitty students and fawningly congratulate their kids' creativity when they draw on the walls with shit. those muslim kids knew it's a fucking belt to the ass when they get home if they don't shut the fuck up.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 06:04:10 2013 No.4820938 File: 81 KB, 515x243, clapping.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4819030

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 06:27:11 2013 No.4820947 >>4819350 >Raw milk Disgusting.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 06:32:10 2013 No.4820950 File: 21 KB, 300x267, hooks.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4819368 >hurrr durrr i was only pretending to be retarded

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 07:08:09 2013 No.4820982
File: 116 KB, 450x300, heath_ledger_joker.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>go out to eat for sisters birthday with our mom, stepdad, her and her boyfriend
>go to one of the chinese places they eat at often
>step dad is old guy, trying to be funny by making ching chong noises through out the wait
>asian waitress is noticeably rude as she slams plates and utensils down for us, its obvious why
>mom starts complaining about how horrible the service is, its a small place and obviously the employees would be able to hear
>step dad is still trying to get laughs making asian stereotype jokes, other people in the restaurant are staring and chuckling at his jackass behavior
>mom gets her fried duck, does nothing but complain loudly about it the whole meal. seemingly making the old waitress even more aggressive with her service
>step dad gets into argument/debate with the hardly english speaking waitress about bringing him tartar sauce for his shrimp, they don't have any but he cant understand her, starts yelling TAR-TAR, I WANT TAR-TAR slow and loudly as if hes talking to a retard
>just keeps ignoring me when i say they dont have any

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 07:23:11 2013 No.4820996 > all these stories Jesus, thank God I'm not American and have no American relatives. Must be hell for you guys.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 07:33:10 2013 No.4821010 >>4820996 It's OK. They're American too.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 07:43:06 2013 No.4821024 >>4820789 I don't think you know what "fag-hag" means.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 07:43:06 2013 No.4821025 >>4815891 >high fructose corn syrup with red food coloring a little tomato concentrate. I am so sorry that you have to live in a third world country.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 07:46:09 2013 No.4821027 >>4819345 The wold > America. It's a hard concept, but try to gasp it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 07:47:09 2013 No.4821031 >>4820947 Unpasteurized milk is fine as long as you are confident in the health and living conditions of the cows.

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 08:13:07 2013 No.4821063

Nothing stood out about the food or service but this happened one night when out with an ex girlfriend a few years ago.
>be eating at a wing place with girlfriend
>get some sauce and my face, girlfriend just wipes it off like I'm a baby, embarrassing
>acquaintance of both of our comes in, I know the girl because she is cousins with my best friend, girlfriend knows her because they were both tennis players in high school and her school played the other girls school
>acquaintance brings up a picture her cousin sent me of me passed out drunk in a chair at a party with a girl pulling her shorts up, hanging her ass out, and putting her ass super close to my face. Think teabagging but vagbagging I guess
>girlfriend wasn't at party, the picture would most likely piss her ass. acquaintance's story is vague so I play it off like whatever she is talking about is something my friend made. awkward.
>Super gay dude at acquaintance's table, hits on me by complementing my haircut and clothes and giving me a really weird sort of smile, not sure if he realizes I'm there with my gf and that I'm straight. awkward.
>Have to take ticket to counter to check out. At counter while cashier is making my change. Gf says "Do you need to go pee before we leave? I know how you get after a couple beers and we have a long drive." treated like a baby again, staff is in earshot. embarrasing.
>Start driving home, tell gf to stop acting like she's my fucking mom. She gets pissy, says something about how I don't appreciate anything and then goes into silent bitch mode.
>On interstate ride home, get behind a truck with a camper shell, bed is full of like 20 Mexicans, probably illegal because there are a lot of illegal immigrants in my area. Want to laugh at them, but must out will my gf's silence with my own silence.
>Get home, shut door in gf's face, lock the door so she gets in her car and leaves.
>Lay in bed, think about shit evening and reconsider relationship.
Most miserable date night of my life.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 08:18:09 2013 No.4821067 >>4821031 I once tried my wife's breast milk, it was weird.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 08:34:57 2013 No.4821076 >>4821024 You're right, I don't. I withdraw my previous posts then. Sorry for this.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 08:45:56 2013 No.4821082 >>4821076 No problem anon, at least you apologized and didn't just disappear like everyone else would have.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 11:43:55 2013 No.4821302 >>4819350 Wisconsin won the biannual international cheese competition last year, and America is now today's best cheese producer. Just like beer, this isn't the 70s anymore, and 'murika is doing great on a lot of culinary fronts.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 11:49:57 2013 No.4821306 >>4821063 >the picture would most likely piss her ass what Sounds like your bitch just knows you and cares about you. Quit being a faggot. Everybody wants to fuck their mom.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 11:51:56 2013 No.4821313 >>4821302 >world's best >pasteurized cheese you can only pick one

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 11:54:53 2013 No.4821319 >>4821313 Well an international group of folks picked both apparently.

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 11:58:55 2013 No.4821326

>>4821313
>The World Championship Cheese Contest was started in 1957 and has always been held in Wisconsin -- in Madison since 2000. It's the oldest international cheese competition and, unlike others, it is a technical competition, judged by experts who look for up to 50 different defects in a cheese and judge in tenths of a point up to 100 points. The Vermeer cheese scored 98.73 in the final round of judging.

http://www.jsonline.com/multimedia/video/?bctid=1494126560001

nigga you dumb

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 11:59:55 2013 No.4821333 >>4821313 Uhm, they're not mutually exclusive bro. America produces a lot of shitty processed crap that can't even be called "Cheese". They also make some very good cheeses too.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:14:55 2013 No.4821366 >>4821326 >wisconsin wins a contest held in wisconsin with a wisconsin jury nigga i just checked that site and all the cheeses they judge are american >hurr durr america wins american chedder contests

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:19:57 2013 No.4821380 >>4821366 So far the other guy has supplied a video that states otherwise. You haven't supplied shit.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:21:54 2013 No.4821384 >>4821366 >any year >being this retarded http://www.worldchampioncheese.org/blog-wccc/world-championship-cheese-contest-shatters-entry-records-with-2313-cheeses-and-butters-from-20-nations/

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:24:56 2013 No.4821396

>>4821380
>>4821384
yeh i misread their official site.

apparently a dutch manufacturer won.
a swiss one was runner up.
a german one was second runner up.

>Wisconsin won the biannual international cheese competition last year, and America is now today's best cheese producer.

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:27:56 2013 No.4821400

>>4821380
>>82 categories
>Among U.S. states, Wisconsin dominated with 30 gold medals

pretty sure that confirms my statement.
that world championship is a wisconsin championship with a handful of european entries mixed in for credibility.

http://www.worldchampioncheese.org/ImageFiles/File/2012%20PR%20Wire%20Winner%20Final.pdf

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:30:56 2013 No.4821407 >>4821400 http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/lifestyle/141963613.html >the oldest international cheese festival >over 20 countries >multiple states Can't you just accept the fact that you're a moron who has no idea what he's talking about yet?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:31:56 2013 No.4821408 >>4821407 try again when the judges aren't from wisconsin and wisconsin doesn't win over 30% of the gold medals.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:32:56 2013 No.4821410 >>4821400 That confirms that Wisconsin makes good ass cheese. Nothing else.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:35:55 2013 No.4821416 >>4821408 >40 judges from 15 different countries Just stop. You're wrong. You're an idiot. It's okay

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:37:57 2013 No.4821422

>>4821408
Dude, just shut the fuck up. You're retarded.

http://www.worldchampioncheese.org/blog-wccc/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2012-Judges-Selected-NR1.pdf

>The panel will evaluate cheese and butter entries overseen by Chief Judge Robert Aschebrock, veteran USDA dairy grader. “The Contest Judge Selection Committee carefully reviewed many prospective judges to arrive at a well-qualified team. This year’s panel represents
a wide range of expertise as well as an excellent international presence,” said Mr. Aschebrock.

>International judges are expected to join the World Championship Cheese Contest from Argentina, Australia, Canada, Croatia, Denmark, France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, New Zealand, Mexico, Portugal, The Netherlands, Russia, South Africa, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom.

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:38:55 2013 No.4821424

>>4815398
>be in grade school
>Napoleon dynamite comes out
>oh shit, it's tater tot days
>realize I'm getting full
>the wind blows as I remember the sagacious actions of Napoleon
>try to stuff tots into my pocket for later
>shitty awful pants and I can't get the pockets open while sitting
>stand up and try to stuff them into my pocket
>"teacher's table" right fucking next to me
>get detention
some day
eventually
I'll sneak out of a cafeteria with tater tots in my pockets

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:39:55 2013 No.4821432 >>4821407 >>4821410 >>4821416 >>4821422 oh boy, how could i have been so blind. thanks for showing me the way of wisconsin cheddar gais!

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 12:42:55 2013 No.4821438 Hello /ck/, I just wanted to say that OP doesn't know what NTR even is. Goodbye.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 13:10:55 2013 No.4821507 >>4821416 >>4821422 Just a sample from 2012's results: Cheddar, Sharp (6 months to 1 year), Best of Class Maker/Team: Cracker Barrel Natural Cheese Company: Agropur for Kraft You think this is a motherfucking game?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 13:23:55 2013 No.4821527 >>4815256 >when asked how he'd like his burger cooked, says "still mooin" My sides hurt.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 13:30:55 2013 No.4821537 File: 952 KB, 1360x768, crying old woman.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4821424 >mfw people in 4th grade when Napoleon Dynamite was released are 19-20 years old now. Yikes.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 13:35:58 2013 No.4821544 File: 5 KB, 126x124, Jesus christ how horrifying.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4821537

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 13:44:56 2013 No.4821553 >>4816458 You call others 'goys' while you glorify Asian women because of 4chan jerking over them all day? Pathetic.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 14:04:55 2013 No.4821594 >>4821063 >>4821063 You sound terribly insecure for treating your exgirlfriend like that when she obviously just cares.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 14:16:55 2013 No.4821612 >>4820936 Yeah because nigger children are always totally well behaved.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 14:23:55 2013 No.4821623 >>4816458 >implying the jew does not want you to cut off your heritage with your half breed mongol children.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 14:30:55 2013 No.4821631 >>4815153 >2031 are you from the future?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 14:53:52 2013 No.4821674 >>4821507 And costco has high quality wine, so what.

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 14:59:53 2013 No.4821694
File: 19 KB, 480x305, thegreatstateofvermontwillnotapoligizeforitscheese.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4821507
Vermonter here. Cabot is pretty good, you guys, and it isn't neon orange and nobody makes hats based on it.

http://www.cabotcheese.coop/pages/about_us/awards.php

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 15:14:54 2013 No.4821724 >>4820612 I love Sweet Tomatoes.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 15:25:54 2013 No.4821744 >>4821067 I once had fresh (as in still warm) cow's milk, it was the nicest milk i've ever had until 5 hours later when it tasted of beef.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 23 15:37:58 2013 No.4821763 >>4820927 >college freshman More like highschool freshman

Anonymous Mon Sep 23 16:18:00 2013 No.4821861

>>4820933

I have a kinda similar story with pigeons... 10 years ago I was at Catalina Island (off the california coast) and there were a bunch of pigeons while my parents were resting, and threw a couple of very small beach pebbles at birds, not hitting them (not even rocks, small pebbles). This old lady got really angry at me...

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 02:36:24 2013 No.4823066 >>4819011 deja vu

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 03:47:29 2013 No.4823162 >>4815363 A lot of places will give you a desert on the house if you just drop a line to the waiter about how it's your birthday. Not necessarily your choice of desert but you'll usually get something.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 03:48:29 2013 No.4823165 >>4819351 18y/o senior btw

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 03:50:29 2013 No.4823170 >>4818976 It was dog. You ate dog.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 03:54:29 2013 No.4823178 >>4819016 Did the old guys say anything after that?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 04:04:30 2013 No.4823204 >>4819176 This is just like my Mongolian cartoons.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 04:09:30 2013 No.4823209 >>4821313 >mfw US also won best wines against french contestants in france >makes best cheeses in the world >best wines >mfw yurop sees McDonald's and thinks that's all that exists in the US

Anonymous Tue Sep 24 04:22:29 2013 No.4823236

>Be fapping to live camwhores online
>Whore's internet is slow so she decides to log off and log back on
>waiting for her I decide to go into my kitchen and get a leftover burger from earlier
>my house so I'm walking naked
>smack boner on counter
>boner stands strong
>cut burger in half and put of napkin
>sit in front of computer and eat
>boner subsides
>other half of burger on my lap
>I open her page again and she's doing a free show
>boner regains full strength and knock burger onto the floor
>fap and later pick up remnants of burger lost and consume

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 04:23:28 2013 No.4823239 >>4818836 Yes. Source: Personal experience

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 08:01:27 2013 No.4823531 >>4815891 Poor guy.... We get the good stuff here. http://translate.google.com/translate?sl=sv&tl=en&js=n&prev=_t&hl=sv&ie=UTF-8&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.procordia.se%2FVaara-produkter%2FProduktinformation%3Fid%3D11248&act=url

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 09:13:17 2013 No.4823581 >>4815373 Your dad is funny

Anonymous Tue Sep 24 10:15:37 2013 No.4823653
File: 54 KB, 657x788, 1352828170579.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>much older friend invites me out to dinner at sushi restaurant
>haven't seen him in a while so why not, gotta be nice
>he writes it off as a business expense
>he starts drinking
>oh boy here we go
>kind of busy in there
>can't get any waitress attention
>"5 dolla sucky sucky?"
>all asian waitstaff
>won't stop saying it till someone pays attention to him
>I awkwardly laugh and hope he stops
>I leave a big tip as an apology to them

Anonymous Tue Sep 24 10:23:36 2013 No.4823660

>>4821861
I was at a local park. You're not supposed to feed the seagulls since they shit everywhere and there are signs saying so. This old woman tells the family there not to do it (kids were feeding the birds). Not in a mean way. Just informing them because you can be fined for it. My friend, who was on a prednisone regime and developed severe rage, heard it, walked by that old woman on our way out and said "THANKS FOR RUINING EVERYONE'S DAY, YOU OLD BITCH" and felt soooo satisfied about herself. I don't hang out with her anymore.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 10:57:12 2013 No.4823706 >>4823653 >caring what gooks think They're subservient by nature.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 10:58:12 2013 No.4823711 >>4823706 >>>/pol/

Anonymous Tue Sep 24 12:06:01 2013 No.4823795
File: 53 KB, 449x311, 1375800818839.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Balls cold in the middle of winter
>Going to Sonic for some grub after a terrible day.
>Family orders and I order a Reeses Blast and some chili cheese fries, I think I also got a hot dog.
>While waiting for my food I turn on the radio
>Car battery dies in the middle of a decent song.
>Go outside to tell my family.
>Car locks itself somehow
>With keys inside.
>In shorts and a t-shirt because I didn't bother to put anything else on.
>Did I mention it's cold as balls?
>Sit at the table.
>Sister starts bitching to me about how it's all my fault.
>I just want my fucking food.
>Food gets here.
>The Reeses Blast literally tastes like toothpaste, something was probably wrong with the machine.
>It is so bad that I almost vomit.
>At least I'm minty fresh.
>Chili cheese fries and whatever else I ordered was cold.
>Bitch at waiter about it.
>Nobody comes.
>Family tells me to forget about it.
>Fuck it, I don't even care any more.
>It starts snowing.
>Slip on the snow.
>Friend of family comes to jumpstart the car battery.
>Finally go home.

Fucking Sonic.
Fucking holidays.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 12:57:50 2013 No.4823880 >>4819350 you're blatantly wrong about that. I can buy legal, raw milk here at any farmer's market. Stop lying.

Anonymous Tue Sep 24 13:01:49 2013 No.4823892
File: 215 KB, 500x276, tumblr_msf9s5NdU51rjuggio1_500.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4823880
You aren't allowed to buy raw milk from farms I thought? The farm can make it all they want and drink it, but as soon as they sell it, it's against FDA regulations and they can be raided. Right?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 13:09:51 2013 No.4823915 >>4823880 Naw, he's right. What you guys buy as "Reblochon" for instance is a pasteurized version of the original. This happens for many cheeses on the US market.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 13:38:49 2013 No.4823965 >>4815153 >21/12/2031

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 13:40:51 2013 No.4823972 >>4823892 What you are describing is generally true, but some counties in some states allow the sale of unpasteurized milk while most do not.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 13:44:25 2013 No.4823980 File: 126 KB, 1276x340, 4zddT[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4823965 Only for some it seems.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 13:44:26 2013 No.4823979 >>4815256 >still mooin I'm not sure if your friend is a huge asshole or a bro

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 14:07:25 2013 No.4824024 >>4815625 >>4815631 Fuck the jews

Anonymous Tue Sep 24 15:10:31 2013 No.4824147

>>4815408
I know the feel..

>Goes to well known Teppanyaki in my area
>Celebrating aunt's birthday with family (mostly cousins
>Chef comes out, Mexican.. wut?
>Don't really care as long as he's not a newbie
>FML guy is clearly a newbie with a Japanese chef coming to us and showing/reminding him of steps
>Starts making volcano, takes 2 minutes..
>Longest two minutes of awkward stacking
>Luckily we all got a few drinks in us so we found it amusing rather than annoying
>Does the standard salt/pepper flip tricks and drops salt/pepper a few times
>Chef proceeds to cook shrimp
>ohboyherewego.jpb
>So far so good...
>Begins to cut off tail of shrimp and flips them into his tall hat
>First 2-3 we're successful
>Begins to start messing up
>deargod.jpb
>FUCKING ATTEMPTS TO FLIP SHRIMP TAIL INTO HAT, BUT IT FLIES INTO MY FOREHEAD
>FUCKITBURNS.JPG
>Mad/embrassed and chef says nothing
>Rest of the night, I had a red spot on my forehead

Yeah.. Fuck those restaurants.

Anonymous Tue Sep 24 15:40:18 2013 No.4824202

>>4824147
Also one other story. This one probably altered my life the most.

>Be 8-10
>Naughty as fuck child
>At a Chinese restaurant with my family, an authentic one at that
>Tittering my chair forward and backward in an obnoxious way with my feet pushing it off the table
>Doing it for over 10 minutes
>Eventually falling
>timeslows.jpb
>Down backwards on the ground with my face looking up
>All I see is Chinese people laughing and some even pointing their fingers at me whilst laughing
>FML

And that moment has redefined my life. I was never naughty again after that, and I think my earlier adolescent life I was quite shy and timid because of that.. Well that's what my mum and I think anyways lmao. She told me after that I was never annoying again.. Haha.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 16:01:22 2013 No.4824238 File: 30 KB, 184x278, worried merchant.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4824024

Anonymous Tue Sep 24 16:58:40 2013 No.4824342
File: 34 KB, 450x654, 443056.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>4815376
>at Blockbuster with mom
>mom forgets her wallet on counter
>cashier "Ladies! Oh ladies! Come back! You forgot this!"
>the fell

As for a food related story
>be 10 or 11
>go to dinner with my grandma, and my two brothers
>we go to Montana's
>grandma and I order the same thing, a Buffalo chicken sandwich
>it comes with a fuck tonne of sauce, which I love and grandma hates
>she is disgusted by the sandwich, not sure what she thought Buffalo chicken was
>snatches mine and demands to see a manager
>wtf grandma, I like it
>"This is literally inedible, we need to send it back"
>manager comes, she insists on a refund
>he offers her free meal tickets for another time
>she wants a refund, not free meals
>manager remains pleasant throughout, grandma is almost in hysterics
>grabs all of us by the hand and storms out
>we got McDonalds

Fuck that shit grandma.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 18:34:17 2013 No.4824478 >>4823980 He meant the timestamp in the picture.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 18:48:18 2013 No.4824509 >>4815378 tips fedora

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 18:59:18 2013 No.4824527 >>4824509 How does that even make sense in this context? Or you just throw the word 'fedora' at anything you don't like?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 19:47:23 2013 No.4824602 >>4819003 some people probably shouldn't smoke weed

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 19:52:24 2013 No.4824611 >>4821763 HEYOOOOOOOOO!

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 20:06:24 2013 No.4824633 File: 9 KB, 283x178, RAGE4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4819236 >mfw people like this have escaped tumblr to post on 4chan God Almighty

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 24 20:09:23 2013 No.4824641 >>4819236 Where do you think you ware?

Anonymous Tue Sep 24 20:14:23 2013 No.4824656 [DELETED]

File: 8 KB, 256x264, le happy mario.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>be 12 going to a sushi restaurant for the first time
>order unagi nigiri and an eel roll like a boss
>wolf it all down with a Dr. Pepper, tall and ice-cold like yours truly
>see some Jap with his hand out
>"what the haps, slanty?" (that was the vernacular at the time)
>"sir, it is customary to tip"
>"Here's a tip for you, Kato - if my grandfather hadn't saved your ass in dubya dubya two, we'd all be speaking French right now"
>he recoils his hand as if bitten, a profound look of shame on his heathen face
>I tell him to whip me up a monkey roll and some tamago nigiri with a quickness
>raise fist for emphasis
>he scurries off to make it, I wink and tell him to keep a piece for himself
>he falls on his knees and pledges his eternal loyalty
>he's been my faithful manservant ever since

>>	OP Tue Sep 24 21:08:42 2013 No.4824768 >>4819504 >lel faggot >I've been on 4chan for 8 years yeah right, go back to reddit

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 25 11:32:09 2013 No.4825791 >>4815179 it wasn't HIM, you stupid asshole. ugh, what a stupid asshole...

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 25 12:18:15 2013 No.4825871 >>4825791 I think he meant a general `your`.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 25 18:36:48 2013 No.4826618 >>4815376 I know this feel man. Had long hair pretty much all of teen years. Constantly called miss or mam.

Anonymous Wed Sep 25 19:37:07 2013 No.4826731

>>4819350
>>4823880

You can get raw milk cheeses in the US, but they have to be aged for over 60 days. You can only buy raw milk straight from the source at either the farm or possibly the farmers market.

One can no longer buy mimolette in the good ol' US of A because cheese mites are too scary for us and make the FDA's skin crawl. It stinks, because it was such a stunning cheese.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 25 19:50:08 2013 No.4826755 >>4825791 what a fucking stupid cunt

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 25 20:27:27 2013 No.4826833 >>4819005 My current bf's ex was Chinese and apparently could not cook at all. She made him fried rice once, and it was soft and tasteless. She was a waitress though.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 25 20:39:29 2013 No.4826856 >>4815153 OP I know we can't be macho all the time, but I would've told that prick that he'd better watch his mouth because if he says that to the wrong person he'll get himself killed.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 25 20:47:27 2013 No.4826873 >>4826856 Oh wow. You're edgier than my kitchen knife.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 25 20:48:27 2013 No.4826874 >>4826731 the typical liberal government should control everything ideology is getting pretty annoying

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 25 22:17:38 2013 No.4827046 >>4819404 Did he die? I wont be happy unless he did.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 25 22:32:38 2013 No.4827101 >>4823892 Trust me, if theyre selling from a local farmer's market, nobody gives half a damn what they're selling until somebody gets sick.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 26 02:01:09 2013 No.4827420 >>4821063 >Super gay dude at acquaintance's table, hits on me by complementing my haircut and clothes and giving me a really weird sort of smile He was making fun of you, you autist

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 26 02:13:09 2013 No.4827434 File: 88 KB, 720x540, 1342907561264.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4823236 That's just every foul bachelor frog iteration rolled into one sequence of events.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 26 02:58:30 2013 No.4827487 >>4823795 tough being 16, huh?

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 26 03:16:32 2013 No.4827511 >>4815637 >bitches about cooking 4 steaks on a slow day must be a nigger

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 26 03:29:33 2013 No.4827529 >>4819002 uh.. what's wrong with the restaurant? >laern to read faaget

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 26 03:36:35 2013 No.4827541 >>4819504 I don't trust anyone who can quantify how long they've used 4chan.

>>	Anonymous Thu Sep 26 04:56:59 2013 No.4827753 >>4826873 Would any of you awkward fucks really just want to take the humiliation and walk home with it? I was quite the pussy in high school, but I'm not into taking shit from scum now as an adult.

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