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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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4800923 No.4800923[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

>roommates burn the stovetop and pan
>while cooking tortellini

how do you even accomplish that

>> No.4800931

By having autistic roommates who are too scared to pry themselves from their computer and show them how to cook.

>> No.4800952

>>4800931
Oh sorry, I forgot I was their father.

>> No.4800964

>>4800931
>needing to be shown how to cook

And how fucking old are they? If you can't boil pasta by the age of 12 then you are a failure.

Too many guys treat cooking like it's wimmenz biznez when, in actual fact, it's a life skill that everyone should hone.

>> No.4801005

>>4800964
Well then shit, 80% of modern kids are failures.
It's the opposite of 'wimmenz biznez' these days, most women turn to Jamie Oliver and a thermomix to learn how to cook, because of the feminist revolution bullshit.

>> No.4801014

>>4801005
>turning to Jamie Oliver

FIRST, OLIVE OIL
THEN, HIT IT WITH SOME LOVELY OLIVE OIL
YES, ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT
NOW JUST GIVE THAT A COUPLE OF TABLE SPOONS OF GOOD EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL
NEXT, A DASH OF OLIVE OIL TO CALM DOWN THE FLAVORS OF THE OLIVE OIL
FINISH IT OFF WITH SOME LOVELY OLIVE OIL
BRILLIANT, ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT

>> No.4801039

>roommates scratch the shit out of their shitty teflon pan to the point where they're getting flakes in their meals
>realize its poisonous and turn to fucking up mine
Never going through that shit again.

>> No.4801048

>>4801014
lol

>> No.4801057

>>4801014
pukka innit bruv?

>> No.4801061
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4801061

>>4801014

>> No.4801072

>>4801014
>jamie oliver
>not jamie oliveoil

>> No.4802492
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4802492

>>4801014

>> No.4804127

>>4801072
lol

>> No.4804490

>>4801014
masterpiece

>> No.4804550

1. Place tortellini directly on heating element.
2. Set burner to med-high
3. Place pan over heating element creating air-tight chamber.
4. Cook for 45 minutes.
5. Tortellini will be hot. Use napkins to remove from stove.
6. Serve over rice.

>> No.4804564

>>4804127
loil

>> No.4806882
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4806882

>this entire thread

>> No.4807157

Shit OP, are you me? Mine is so fucking retarded his pasta was half black, then, being a fucking retard, he just took it off the stove and left it so it dried out and fucked the pot forever.

>> No.4807191

Move out. They are walking away from a stove in use. Fire 101.

>> No.4807291

I had roommates who kept having secret deep frying sessions. The walls, counter and floor would get oiled up at least 3 times a week but I never caught them in the act.

>> No.4807301
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4807301

>>4807157

>> No.4807325

>>4807301
lel

>> No.4807334

I lived with a guy who turned on the gas oven to max and instead of igniting it and cooking something, he went to bed. About 30 minutes later my friend came back from putting the kettle on and said the kitchen smelled of gas. He said not to turn on the kitchen light and I remember thinking that was a good idea even as I flicked the light switch on. Fortunately it didn't explode and kill everyone.

Just 5 minutes ago I was warming up a couple of slices of pizza in my sandwich toaster and searching for the little plastic clip that holds the thing shut. I'm looking everywhere, wondering what I did with it while I was drunk last night, when I smell burning plastic. I open the toastie maker, lift up the pizza and underneath is a black puddle of melted plastic. At least I found it.

>> No.4807342
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4807342

My roommates laughed when I told them gravy doesn't have to come from granules.

They also cut tomatoes the wrong way so all the juice falls out.

>> No.4807347

>>4807291
You have awesome roommates.

>> No.4807349

Don't ever live in the same place as anyone who manages to start fires when cooking.

You will die and you will not like it.

>> No.4807352

>>4801039
It probably won't harm them, it will just make their children retarded.

>> No.4807362

>>4801014
Lol this. And when he's cooking 'Asian' he does the same thing with coriander.

>> No.4807433

>roommates only ever cook microwave frozen meals and coffee
>have their coffee appliances all over the counter, huge fuckers that only do single cup (one is a keurig + keurig cup rack)
>fridge half empty because I'm the only one who cooks actual food

I'm okay with this. Take the counters. Leave my pans alone.

I just hope they don't try to go healthy and cook when they realize they're packing on the pounds from eating garbage day in and day out.

>> No.4807457
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4807457

>>4807349
>You will die
>you will not like it