/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.4661307]

[Anonymous No.4661321]

>>4661307
I fucking love white people so much.

[Anonymous No.4661324]

New Glarus is releasing a strawberry rhubarb beer
>>4649482

its probably gonna be awesome

[Anonymous No.4661355]

[Anonymous No.4661357]

[Anonymous No.4661369]

Trying to kill rhubarb is like trying to kill dandelions.

[Anonymous No.4661376]

[Anonymous No.4661385]

[Anonymous No.4661387]

Not quite related but all I have to offer at the moment.

[Anonymous No.4661388]

>>4661385
That note is better than the passive aggressive bullshit people usually come out with.

[Anonymous No.4661389]

>>4661355
>>4661357
>>4661376
>not keeping your lunch in a locked metal tool box wired to the fridge wall.

[Anonymous No.4661397]

I always steal from my work's fridge. The other day I got a full thing of Panda Express and a Redbull. Another highlight was two Uncrustables and a Strawberry Milk.

Shit is awesome.

[Anonymous No.4661402]

>>4661397
When I catch fuckers like you I put it in raw on the table

[Anonymous No.4661403]

I'm thankful every day that my 3-person department has its own mini fridge and we lock our office when no one is there.

[Anonymous No.4661404]

[Anonymous No.4661407]

[Anonymous No.4661408]

[Anonymous No.4661410]

>>4661402
>implying your autistic ass would even say a word as I chow down on your Hungry Man meal

[Anonymous No.4661412]

[Anonymous No.4661418]

[Anonymous No.4661421]

>>4661410

I'd lace that shit with warfarin. You wouldn't even taste it.

[Anonymous No.4661429]

>>4661421

Sure bro, too bad you spend all your money on little Pony toys.

[Anonymous No.4661431]

>>4661408
>>4661407
Hot sauce doesn't need to be refrigerated

[Anonymous No.4661432]

[Anonymous No.4661437]

>>4661387
Oh goodness, I lol'd heartily.

Geese are assholes.

[Anonymous No.4661439]

>>4661403
Couldn't even imagine working in an office with a bunch of cranky coffee addicts like these pictures.

[Anonymous No.4661442]

Anybody else hate this passive aggressive note writing bullshit?

[Anonymous No.4661451]

>>4661442
the only thing worse is people who steal food like they're fucking gypsies or niggers

[Anonymous No.4661452]

>>4661442
yes.

[Anonymous No.4661454]

>>4661418
>>4661412
>>4661432
>leaving passive aggressive notes for roommates
That shit is obnoxious. Just call them/text them. Or, you know, talk to them with your mouth, considering you share a living space.

[Anonymous No.4661456]

>>4661451

they're gypsies, niggers and white trash at heart.

[Anonymous No.4661458]

[Anonymous No.4661459]

>>4661397

enjoy getting fired over a half-eaten takeout container worth 20 minutes of time at work

[Anonymous No.4661464]

>>4661458

lol what the fuck?
>unlike you I don't hide behind the internet
>proceeds to leave a note and not confront the person

[Anonymous No.4661465]

[Anonymous No.4661469]

>>4661458
Businesses getting mad at their crappy Yelp reviews is so funny to me.

[Anonymous No.4661472]

[Anonymous No.4661476]

>pack lunch in insulated lunch bag you used in elementary school
>put suitcase lock through the holes on the two zippers

problem solved

[Anonymous No.4661479]

>>4661472

it would be cool if bananas had, like, an indicator to tell you how long they'd been out

like maybe if they could just automatically change color and the color would tell you whether it was starting to go bad

[Anonymous No.4661481]

>>4661385
>dat South Korean anger

top lel

[Anonymous No.4661483]

[Anonymous No.4661485]

>not packing your lunch in a briefcase with a lock on it
>not taking up the entire bottom fridge rack with your briefcase

It's like you guys don't even care about your lunch.

[Anonymous No.4661489]

>>4661483
>burnt

britbong detected

[Anonymous No.4661492]

>>4661485
I just hire Blackwater to protect my lunch.

[Anonymous No.4661495]

[Anonymous No.4661497]

>>4661492

>implying Lunchtheir doesn't have a grassroots insurgency group

[Anonymous No.4661505]

[Anonymous No.4661509]

>>4661489

What? Burnt isn't a UK only word ...

[Anonymous No.4661511]

[Anonymous No.4661513]

>>4661495
>eating margarine
For real, is one of my top 3 worst foods.

[Anonymous No.4661514]

[Anonymous No.4661517]

>>4661513

Why? Tastes just like butter to me, and they probably put it on toast with the marmite, which is too much and too gross.

[Anonymous No.4661518]

[Anonymous No.4661520]

>>4661517
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/trans-fat/CL00032

[Anonymous No.4661522]

>>4661485

I just bring a small USB fridge to work and keep it at my desk. retrofitted a lock clasp to it, no more stolen lunch.

[Anonymous No.4661523]

>>4661505
>he works an hour to buy three boxes of hot pockets

[Anonymous No.4661525]

>>4661495
>margarine
>made with real butter

forwhatpurpose.gif

[Anonymous No.4661533]

>>4661520

Its one of your worst foods just because it's fattening? Just don't eat it every morning like most people do and you can enjoy the simple things in life.

[Anonymous No.4661534]

>>4661517
>margarine
>tasting anything like butter

[Anonymous No.4661535]

>>4661525
because they think it's less fattening, but still tastes like butter? both of which are not true, but the best I can guess

[Anonymous No.4661538]

>>4661523

[Anonymous No.4661542]

>>4661522
>USB fridge
>5V, 2A max, 10W
You'd have to leave it overnight just to get it cool enough after every time you open the door.

[Anonymous No.4661543]

>>4661534

I'm sure everyone has different tastes, to me it tastes like butter, but you can tell the difference, obviously. If you think it doesn't taste like butter, thats just your tastes.

[Anonymous No.4661544]

>>4661517
>Tastes just like butter to me

Probably because you smoke cigarettes or you just have the palette of a 10 year old.

[Anonymous No.4661553]

>>4661534

Yeah it tastes vastly superior.

[Anonymous No.4661557]

>>4661544

>Probably because you smoke cigarettes or you just have the palette of a 10 year old.

Sounds like you have a stick up your ass today.

[Anonymous No.4661560]

>>4661533
I'm not the one who said it's their worst food, but I posted the link because I hate margarine as well
mainly because it's a pointless substitution that does nothing as well as butter, and is likely worse for you in several different ways
just give me butter in proper proportions
it's not just more fattening than they marketed it to be, it's the type of fat which it causes your body to process, which is much worse for you
sage because I think we're way off subject, eventhough I don't really know what subject this thread is supposed to have that is actually relevant to food

[Anonymous No.4661561]

[Anonymous No.4661563]

>>4661387
I know I've seen this before but I still lel'd.

That goos does not appear to be fucking around.

[Anonymous No.4661565]

>>4661544
I smoke like a chimney and I can taste the difference. He is indeed a 10 year old palette haver.

[Anonymous No.4661566]

[Anonymous No.4661571]

>>4661560

Well for starters, I wasn't saying margarine was better or worse than butter, I simply said people might choose it because it's another option that may taste the same. I see margarine sometimes going for cheaper than butter, so maybe that's why it's even being sold. Thanks for informing me about the major cons of margarine, but it was highly unnecessary since I was only reflecting on how I think it tastes.

[Anonymous No.4661572]

>>4661561

Don't feed the fucking seagulls, you irresponsible cunt.

[Anonymous No.4661574]

>>4661388
and you can just imagine him seething, writing it in all caps, then hitting the carriage return and carefully retranslating it.

[Anonymous No.4661579]

[Anonymous No.4661581]

>>4661566
No wonder they have a broken stove if they're incapable of using tenses.

[Anonymous No.4661584]

>>4661557

Eh, not really. But you should just know that you probably don't need to spend more than 5 bucks on a meal since you can't even tell the difference between hydrogenated oil and butter.

[Anonymous No.4661586]

[Anonymous No.4661591]

[Anonymous No.4661597]

>>4661586
people who demand tips make me sad. and then usually don't get tips.

[Anonymous No.4661604]

>>4661571
sorry for offending your apparent sensitivities for assuming that because you were asking someone about why they hated margarine so much that you might be genuinely curious. lel

[Anonymous No.4661611]

[Tuna !nlo.lNNZ8U No.4661612]

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

[Anonymous No.4661614]

[Anonymous No.4661616]

>>4661566
Why did they leave their stove out with that note?

[Anonymous No.4661626]

>>4661616
So the landlord would buy a new one i guess

[Anonymous No.4661699]

>>4661561
I need one of these for where I work. Even if we're dead and have no other orders, frozen chicken wings still take a good 8 minutes to cook. People will order, scoot straight over to the pickup window, and just bertstare at the pass-through. Just sit down and play with your phone for a few minutes, jesus christ. Yes, I mad.

>>4661597
>mfw customers get butthurt that there's a "gratuity" line on their credit card slip

I-it's just what the machine spits out, I promise.

[Anonymous No.4661706]

>>4661397
because of this, i always either put fake lunches into work fridges with things like prescription medication in them or other chemicals OR i spit etc into my lunch so that only i will eat it.

[Anonymous No.4661724]

>yfw you will never visit an orchard where the farmer lets you pick and pay on the honor system like in your childhood

why are people such assholes today?

[Anonymous No.4661749]

>>4661706
One time I prepared my "lunch" on a surface I had cut raw chicken on. Then someone mysteriously got food poisoning. Pretty strange.

[Anonymous No.4661771]

>>4661706
That's a great idea, don't know why I didn't think of trying something like that myself.

[Anonymous No.4661784]

>>4661561

>polite

[Anonymous No.4661785]

>>4661724
Its not being an asshole. Its called being intelligent. Honor system is for chumps who get stepped on.

[Anonymous No.4661792]

>>4661724
They have these where I live, right next to my dumpy town. Don't know what hellhole you're from.

[Anonymous No.4661795]

>>4661591

>beacon hill

not a single fuck given, they can afford more tomatoes

[Anonymous No.4661797]

thanks ck. and bout the rubarb--- pull it straight up and don't eat the leaves or tops. no it is not like beet tops or chard that can be sauteed or even boiled. and no you cannot get high off the leaves, you can make yourself really sick, really quick or dead if not careful. like eating polk berries. from polk salad. but the stalks trimmed and peeled are a bit sour. and fiberbepus like celery cooked low with some sugar they are so good with strawberries. canned pineapple or pears,or to make pie or jam. good stuff but watch the leaves. kids or pets or livestock like horses or cows it is unwise to eat.

[Anonymous No.4661798]

>>4661749
brilliant idea. do this with the first ten lunches, and then people will stop eating your fucking shit.

>>4661771
this is what ck is for, my friend. :)

[Anonymous No.4661807]

I bet it was white people who stole the rhubarb.

[Anonymous No.4661808]

>>4661706

>be keeping jelly in fridge for PB&J at work
>jelly is disappearing at 10 times the rate it should be
>label with name and add sticker that needs to be broken to open it
>jelly still disappearing, sticker broken
>wait for jelly supply to run low
>crack open a couple laxative pills and mix them into the jelly
>2 coworkers spend entire day on toilet, 1 male, 1 female
>tfw every time I enter the bathroom the male coworker is in there groaning
>tfw female coworker got in serious trouble for missing multiple customer calls while shitting

[Anonymous No.4661805]

>>4661706
I'm trying to think if theres any legal issues in this. I guess its okay to put your own medication in your own food, and its not your fault if someone else eats it if its marked. They can't get you for neglect.

[Anonymous No.4661809]

>>4661706
>because of this, i always either put fake lunches into work fridges with things like prescription medication in them or other chemicals OR i spit etc into my lunch so that only i will eat it.

I had a problem with someone eating my sandwich at work, got fed up with them mostly because they'd leave the tub open on the side of the unit. Not only could it have been lost or thrown away, but people were assuming I was being a lazy dirty fucker by not cleaning up after myself.

So, I started to put an extra layer of sandwiches in my tub. A week spiked with super laxitive, and a just day with gravel from my fish tank.

One broken tooth later, and it was soon apparent who it was helping themselves to my food.

I can only assume the laxitive didn't work because they were so used to having a shitty stomach from eating random foods, or they simply built up an immunity from eating random foods.

[Anonymous No.4661819]

>>4661805
of course not. they are stealing your food, etc. in the us and canada you can even apply deadly force if necessary to protect your own property.

>>4661808
beautiful

>>4661809
great man. we need more stories like this on /ck/.

[Anonymous No.4661833]

>>4661805

in america burglars have successfully sued the owners of homes they broke in to for being unsafe. I could see this easily going in favor of the office fridge thief if they were willing to go through the shame and potential job loss of admitting that they were a thief.

[Anonymous No.4661836]

>>4661833
Well not if its prescription medication. Theres no evidence of foul play that could ever be proven.

[Anonymous No.4661839]

>>4661489
Idort detected

[Anonymous No.4661850]

>>4661586
>tipping

Retards tip.

>>4661699
>credit card
>2013

Bigger retards use credit cards.

[Anonymous No.4661858]

>>4661833
>Officer I've been having constipation problems this past week so I've been putting ex-lax in my food because I hate eating it out of the package.

I really don't think anyone will...give a shit.

[Anonymous No.4661868]

>not adding massive amounts of colloidal silver over the course of multiple years to every meal you put in the work fridge so that the fridge thief will eventually be revealed as his skin begins to change color

[Anonymous No.4661869]

>>4661836

Prescription medication is not supposed to be consumed in sandwich form, it would be hard to prove it was for you.

Regardless it's like raping the slutty drunk chick, it probably won't get reported.

[Anonymous No.4661888]

>>4661479
when green they are ok to fry like plantains, when spotted yellow and brown, good to eat, or in cereal or banana pudding. if all brown frezze and use in banana bread or discard. because the encourage tiny flys. but the freezing thing is good. they will turn black. thaw, cut off one end and squeeze like a tube of toothpaste into muffins or breads. ( for home use)

[Anonymous No.4661910]

I don't know how people can contemplate eating other people's food from shared fridges. I mean, excluding sealed-package stuff, but since I'm a decent human being I don't steal other people's food anyway.
I just imagine that it's all disgusting if they touch it, and I'm not even a germophobe.

[Anonymous No.4661919]

someone used to leave a banana on my desk in my office almost every day, that fucking banana became the bane of my existence
I would come in in the morning and there it would be, a banana and I could never figure out who was doing it

then one day I came in and there were like 8 bunches all around the room
I dont know what kind of sick fuck was behind this

[Anonymous No.4661925]

>>4661919
Some helpful shy coworker really liked you but noticed that you did not get enough potassium in your diet.

[Anonymous No.4661945]

>>4661819
>in the us and canada you can even apply deadly force if necessary to protect your own property.
this is what george zimmermans actually believe

[Anonymous No.4661950]

>>4661945
>this is what george zimmermans actually believe
>>>/pol/

[Anonymous No.4661963]

>>4661919

That fucker was trying to give you cancer via radioactive food.

[Anonymous No.4661979]

>>4661850
You have to be a fucking idiot.

Credit cards build credit and offer more security. If you pay them off at the end of each billing cycle they don't cost a dime.

[Anonymous No.4662040]

>>4661950
No no no, we don't want DIN DO NUFFIN Liberals on /pol/, thank you

[Anonymous No.4662044]

Someone in my office ate other peoples yogurt and replaced it with old expired yogurt. What the fuck is wrong with people I will never know...

[Anonymous No.4662512]

>>4661429
>I steal other people's food when they're not looking
>Yea, I'm tough

[Anonymous No.4662522]

>>4661412
id fucking eat all those cookies and tell them i did it

[Anonymous No.4662525]

>>4661561
god, these little mom and pop restaurants with these gay notes everywhere, making you feel guilty when you haven't even ordered yet, the only thing small businesses have to offer you is customer service and shit like this is not good customer service

[Anonymous No.4662533]

>>4661706
i take some cat shit off of my lawn and slip it into some food, or put some epicac in the drinks. i dont even bring my lunch to work. i just do it for fun

[Anonymous No.4662567]

>>4661888

it never ceases to amaze me, how credulous /ck/ can be

[Anonymous No.4662744]

>>4661809
you broke their tooth? that is awesome dude, high fives all round

[Anonymous No.4662760]

>>4661458
Sammy? Is that you?

[Anonymous No.4662763]

>>4661523

>what is minimum wage

it wouldn't even buy three boxes where I live

[Anonymous No.4662774]

>>4661479
Just smell it.

[Anonymous No.4662786]

>>4661868
>talks about colloidal silver turning people blue
>posts an inbred redneck who is blue because of shitty genetics

[Anonymous No.4662788]

>>4661979
>build credit
LOLOLOLOLOLOL WHAT A NAIVE FAGGOT

[Anonymous No.4662804]

>>4661785

>confirmed for a people-hating cunt

[Anonymous No.4662818]

>>4662788

Just because you lack the self-control not to spend yourself into massive debt doesn't mean that everyone is like that. You probably believe that taking the slightest sip of alcohol makes everyone an alcoholic too.

[Anonymous No.4662824]

I ejaculated into a cookie mix when I made cookies and didn't tell anyone and some people ate them. Jokes on them.

[Anonymous No.4662830]

>>4662818
I have 0 debt. No loans, no mortgages, no credit cards. I own my own house, 2 vehicles, and land. I have 0 worries about money in any respect. I pay in cash, check, or debit card. You'll never in your entire life know what it is like to be this fucking free and be over 18yo.

[Anonymous No.4662833]

>>4662824
>do something to people for joke or revenge
>said people never know the difference and nothing actually happens to themselves

You're a moron.

[Anonymous No.4662840]

>>4662824
Nope.

[Anonymous No.4662872]

>>4662840
Not that guy, but I can understand the self-satisfaction. A few years ago, I had a really stupid housemate that just refused to pick up his trash. Literally, 50-60 fucking PEPSI cans in the living room, because that's where he slept (his room was used for my weight equipment, his choice). Fast food trash and wrappers everywhere. Those 30-burger boxes from White Castle. Absolutely disgusting.

Everyday he would use some kind of cream on his face, I think for acne but I don't remember now, so i jerked off into it a few times and shook it up real good. He definitely never figured out, but I always felt much better after he put it on. "Yeah, bitch, rub it all over your face."

[Anonymous No.4662885]

>>4662830
I owe £3.2m to the bank, but I'd still rather be in my position than yours, thanks. Debt is fine if it's serviceable.

[Anonymous No.4663144]

>>4662872
Thats hella gay man

[Anonymous No.4663158]

>>4663144
You beat me to it. Hella gay

[Anonymous No.4663277]

/r/ing "The Pains Truck".

[Anonymous No.4663408]

>>4662786
what? he drinks silver solutions because hes crazy and believes in folk medicine

[Sceak !!LciZj2frsW6 No.4663425]

>>4662872

Semen is actually probably very good for the skin, JSYK.

[Anonymous No.4663503]

>>4661724
Dude i have a few different places like that around my town. Thats where i get all my vegies. Just love some money in the box and pick away!

[Anonymous No.4663721]

>>4661307
Never rub another man's rhubarb.

[Anonymous No.4663907]

>>4662830

>Brings age into the equation.
>Age selected = 18.

Post == Bullshit.

You dont' have credit, you're barely old enough to even have a credit card, and while you might have a car (note the singular) it's probably either your parent's, or some junker they bought you for your first foray into "responsibility". Congratulations you've let then down.

[Anonymous No.4664167]

>>4663907
something tells me your 16 and projecting pretty hard