help

[Anonymous No.4659436]

I spent thirty minutes attempting to poop this morning and got very little out. I had a smoothie with flax seeds for breakfast and taco bell for lunch. I've been drinking lots of water. I feel like I should have pooped by now, but I am getting the "you won't poop in the morning" feeling in my stomach anyway. What is wrong with me

[Anonymous No.4659451]

i hate it when poop comes out as little rabbit pellets, instead of thick logs. Try /fit/ for better luck?

[Anonymous No.4659453]

Me too. It feels like I have dry dirt to push out. I hate it.

[Anonymous No.4659471]

antioxidants? leafy greens?

[Anonymous No.4659480]

>>4659471
I'll give it a shot in the morning. Maybe another smoothie with leafy greens and flax seeds will do it.

[Anonymous No.4659484]

>>4659436
better be careful, OP. That's how Evlis died.

[Anonymous No.4659487]

>>4659484
Gulp S:

[Anonymous No.4659489]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmmPSBRu6wg

>fresh kale, cucumber, celery, a little bit of ginger, and some kind of fruit if you want, in a blender.

[Anonymous No.4659497]

>taco bell
Quit eating junk food, eat fruits or vegetables as a side with every meal. Don't drink a lot of coffee or alcohol.

[Anonymous No.4659508]

>>4659436
Nice big hot cup of strong coffee does it for me often enough. I make a 6 cup plunger batch with 5 scoops of a strong coffee roast and share that

[Anonymous No.4659630]

>>4659436
Try getting drunk as fuck tonight.
Also, there is a word for the phobia of being constipated.

For your information, constipation is under 3 or 4 times a week.

[Anonymous No.4659634]

>>4659497
The weird thing is that I never eat fast food, I forgot to bring a lunch to work today and tbell was the closest food. I actually thought it would give me the shits, tbh.

[Anonymous No.4659635]

>>4659436
Try getting drunk as fuck tonight.
Also, there is a word for the phobia of being constipated.

For your information, constipation is under 3 or 4 times a week.

[Anonymous No.4659718]

[Anonymous No.4659753]

Don't worry about it until you've reached about a week. That's when I started worrying.

Took some exlax, didn't do anything. Then some pills.. can't remember what they were.. were just supposed to drive all the water into your intestines to clear it out.. a couple hours later some gurgling in my stomach like I'v never heard... then a massive eruption of water shits, and eventually real shit.

was good shit.

[Anonymous No.4659791]

>>4659753
i lold

[Anonymous No.4659824]

I have a morning poop where nothing really comes out

then I have a cup of coffee, and about 20 minutes later I have my proper morning poop. Then the day can truly begin

[Anonymous No.4659829]

>>4659436
You are being punished for eating food from Taco Bell.

[Anonymous No.4660386]

>>4659484
Only the True King may die mounted upon his throne. OP need not worry.

[Anonymous No.4660594]

>>4659436
Eat a small tub of Sour cream and then drink a lot of DISTILLED water and then if you do this at the beginning of your day and go out for a brisk walk and at the end of the day drink either a healthy amount of junmai ozeki sake room temp or five time distilled vodka with more distilled water, the sour cream has enzymes and cultures that break up the cellulose and glycerin from all the rabbit food your eating and the also the alcohol will help break the cellulose from what you think is fiber, but most vegan and vegetarian diets are an over-consumption of cellulose and glycerin, they substitute gluten and lipids for cellulose and glycerin/glycerol...
The thing about that much veggie is that if you eat nothing that replenishes the cultures that we have naturally in our guts, we get it initially from our mothers breast milk and we eat cheese with healthy cultures and rennet from animals in civilized country's...
Your clogged up with vegetable matter that you have to slowly loosen with pure distilled grain alcohol/spirits (beer is rotgut) and distilled water
Sour cream and Vodka are Russian staples with meals and most meals are omnivorous not a lot of vegans or vegetarians there...
And if they are vegetarian then the eat sour cream as a staple and vodka and distilled water as aides to healthy digestion...

[Anonymous No.4660600]

cigarettes and coffee.
shit i'm jealous, i'm an alcoholic and i've probably shit liquid 12 times before noon.

[Anonymous No.4660620]

It's weird to me that people have "morning poops." I always just go whenever I have to, which can be at literally any time during the day.

[Anonymous No.4660651]

>>4660594
Basically if you eat one type of thing like just meat or just veggies for veggies you have to have six stomachs and a cud giant pancreas liver things like that for just meat you have to eat a lot of it but also have to be active in a way that resembles running your salad down and then tearing it's throat out and then fighting with the pack of yourself for the best smelling and tasting parts also raw and then go into a post flesh gorging stupor from all of the adrenaline released during your rending and tearing of your salad and then if not you have to work at returning your guts to a healthy state from a frozen or seized state, omnivore is the best and vegetarian with a lot of cultured dairy is the absolute best and then omnivore with the scientific facts of protein and gluten/lipid diets aided with veggie (not vegan/vegan is Jim Jones faggot bullshit, look at the products and then see how much cellulose and glycerin, reduced iron niacin and ferrous sulfate is most of the products, which is basically iron powder, paper pulp, Jerry curl juice and Rust Clay...) Cultured Dairy...

[Anonymous No.4660660]

>>4660651
When you poop if you have mucous and there is a fishy smell and if it's really bad and you bleed then it is a toxic mega-colon or just a toxic colon that has not gone "mega" yet...

[Anonymous No.4661196]

OP here, reporting from the toilet. Had another smoothie for breakfast - pear, apple, spinach, blueberry and flax seeds. My lunch was poached eggs on toast. I'm enjoying a megashit right now. Thanks for talking to me about my poops and my foods. It's been real, bros.

[Anonymous No.4661205]

>>4661196
Hahahaha
This was a funny thread

[Anonymous No.4661248]

>>4661196
everyone clap for OP he did it

we're proud of you

[Anonymous No.4661261]

>>4661196
For future reference: It's normal to poop anywhere from three times a day to three times a week. As long as there's no pain or blood, your poop is fine.

[Anonymous No.4661280]

>Ctrl-f "prune juice"
>0 results

If you are in dire pain, just chug down 2 glasses of prune juice. Within a couple hours you will pee out of your butt. If you are lacking fiber, just drink a cup every night.

[Anonymous No.4661284]

>>4661280
>>4661196
Oh welp, never mind then.

[Anonymous No.4661315]

A couple shots of NyQuil usually makes me have massive shits within a half hour or so.

[Anonymous No.4661406]

all joking aside, it really depends on what you eat and when. I have had an ilesostomy, and then reversed. Thank God for the surgeons that did that, both times. and I love meat, but a also eat a lot of brown rice, taters with the skin on, roughage. the firs thing they do with in 24 hours is make sure you well, fart. I had most of my transverse colon removed, while hooking me back up. Depending on what you eat, and only you know, if you go three days with out a fart or bm you might have a torsion or twisted bowel. and that is not funny. If you have been surviiving on chesse puffs, beer, and other things maybe its ok. but I would think twice. otherwise. go see a MD if it persists even an emergency room DR.. you really don't/ can't let that go pun intended unless you have just been eating next to nothing. that can be very serious. and much as I like taco bell and doughnuts, that counts as nothing. don't be alarmed, but don't be sedate unless you want to be sedated while a big hunk of your guts are removed. I was lucky.

[Anonymous No.4661470]

>>4659824
I lol'd so hard

[Anonymous No.4661480]

[Anonymous No.4662446]

>>4659635
I tried what I said yesterday and it worked pretty well

[Anonymous No.4662449]

shitting two times a day is as normal as shitting two times a week. people shit very different and it depends on what you eat, of course.
as long as you don't feel pain you shouldn't worry about shitting.

[Anonymous No.4662470]

>>4662449
A well oiled digestive system should get the food through in 24-36 hours, so shitting daily or even twice daily is a sign of good health.

[Anonymous No.4662487]

>>4662470

I remember hearing in biology that people who shit twice or more a day had some kind of parasitic worm in their colon. I had already shat twice that day, was up since 3:30 and had already drank coffee. Needless to say i was scared.. shitless.