/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.4565482]

>Go to liquor shop for father's day
>Decide to try something new while I'm there
>Remember all the hype about Guiness
>Remember trying it and forcing myself to chug bitter toxic waste
>Decided things are different, people on the internet and 4chan say America is going through a beer revolution!
>Look through Craft Beers
>Can't find any of Cigar City's, the only name I remember from reading about these, find this, Double Chocolate Stout from Fort Collins
>Wait- maybe it's "chocolate just from the color
>A bold chocolate nose introduces deep roasty flavors rich with (typo) coffee undertones
>brewed with cocoa
>Wow shit I guess it tastes like chocolate that'd be fucking neato I want some fucking Nesquick beer
>Open, and tasted 2 mins ago
>Drinking bitter toxic waste

Fuck you, assholes.

I am gonna rain hell on anyone who tries to tell me beer isn't a medium to get drunk cheap.

[Anonymous No.4565484]

lol, beer is for plebs

[Anonymous No.4565490]

>>4565484
>lol, beer is for plebs
I think you are confusing beer with either wine, or fermented rice syrup like bud light

[Anonymous No.4565493]

shit looks awesome OP. you can send the rest to me.

perhaps you just don't like beer?

[Anonymous No.4565501]

>>4565482

If you've got a smartphone you should look at the beeradvocate reviews before buying something you've never tried before. FCB makes atrocious shit level beer, theres amazing stuff out there, you just have to find it.

[Anonymous No.4565504]

>>4565482
Shit you're literally the biggest kissy ever.

[Anonymous No.4565512]

You expect a girly artificial chocolate syrup drink from ANY stout?

Fag, stop drinking beer.

[Anonymous No.4565518]

>>4565482
>WAAAAAAAH I BOUGHT BEER AND IT DIDNT TASTE LIEK CHOCLATE MILK
>MOOOM WHERES MY SIPPY CUP

[Anonymous No.4565519]

mfw you know neither the taste of chocolate or the taste of stout

[Anonymous No.4565523]

>>4565493
Might as well just buy Guinness. I thought it looked awesome, too, now I'm stuck with this bitter ass taste in my mouth.

>>4565501
Dully noted, in fact thanks I made the thread to find new beers to taste before I give up on it completely

>>4565504
>>4565512
Take your kink fantasies and hard ons somewhere else, I simply expected flavor from the bottle and the only reason I haven't thrown this shit away is the decent amount of alcohol in this waste.

[Anonymous No.4565536]

>>4565523
You simply can't taste these "flavors" because your palate is at an infantile level.

Want nesquick? Guess what you should do.

Drink nesquick.

[Anonymous No.4565547]

>>4565523
>find new beers to taste before I give up on it completely
where do you live?

[Anonymous No.4565560]

>>4565536
>taking my OP post at face value
>autists that failed English in middle school can't read between the lines

It's humor, a joke on the fact it's called double chocolate, like Nesquick, you know, the kid's chocolate milk of choice? No I don't expect 40 grams of sugar and HFCS but fuck you if you defend this shit.

>>4565547
Florida, hence why I was looking for Cigar City, I hear good things from them. Literally figured I have to drive the 5 or so hours to Tampa to try them out after this disappointment.

[Anonymous No.4565563]

>>4565523
do you not know that chocolate is fucking bitter as fuck? were you expecting something that tasted like sweetened milk chocolate?

[Anonymous No.4565564]

>>4565523
The flavour you were looking for are the processed overly sweet flavours that boil down to sugar and food colouring.

I'm being completely flat with you, I totally agree this beer was probably shit, but you should try and develop your palate a bit by trying things that are outside your comfort zone more often.

[Anonymous No.4565565]

>>4565560
>expects a beer to taste like Nesquick
>doesnt taste like Nesquick
>complains it doesnt taste like Nesquick
>"I didnt think it would taste like Nesquick!!!!!!"

[Anonymous No.4565571]

>>4565560

CCB makes really solid beers, if you can get Jai Alai IPA go for that. Check out seekabrew.com, they list all the breweries available in your state. Check the ratings on beeradvocate and go from there.

[Anonymous No.4565576]

>>4565560
>Florida
unfortunately the south sucks at brewing so there aren't many local options

I think Bells and Founders distribute down there, keep an eye open for their stuff, upper midwest beer is the best

[Anonymous No.4565579]

>>4565576

Bells distributes down there. Founders doesn't.

[Anonymous No.4565581]

>>4565482
To your palate, Guinness, one of the blandest, most inoffensive acne pedestrian stouts, is bitter toxic waste.

Perhaps you should consider weissbiers and radlers when it comes to beer.

[Anonymous No.4565586]

>>4565563
Wow what insight guy I did not know the cocoa bean wasn't a Hershey's bar are you next going to imply coffee beans aren't like vanilla latte's? I need to rework all my pastries now and use Hershey's instead of 70+% dark chocolate and cocoa powder you have enlightened me

>>4565564
Fine, fair enough, I guess I'm not at a position to judge, let's call it an unpleasant experience then

>>4565565
Flirting isn't gonna get you to taste my dick

>>4565576
>>4565571
>>4565579
Bells, Cigar City, got it. Anyone have any experience on Magic Hat or Full Sail? Those names I recognize on the seekabrew list for FL, there were several bottles at my store

[Anonymous No.4565594]

>>4565586

Magic Hat sucks, the brand is owned by a costa rican company I believe. Full Sail is alright, but Bells usually makes solid stuff, look for Two Hearted Ale (should be a big fish on the 6 pack), one of the best readily available IPA's around.

[Anonymous No.4565596]

>>4565482
The thing about Guinness is that the further you get from St.James's Gate, the worse it tastes.

[Anonymous No.4565598]

>>4565586
You are literally a full fucking retard if you're going to be this mouthy about your taste in beer without spending any time developing it. You don't even know what the definition of a basic stout is.

Just STOP drinking beer, please.

[Anonymous No.4565600]

>>4565586
magic hat is mediocre

you can certainly do worse, but its nothing special

never had full sail before

[Anonymous No.4565603]

>>4565598

Not OP, but everyone was entry level at one point. You need to chill the fuck out and let this dude develop a taste for what he likes. Stop being a faggot level beer snob and be glad that other people are atleast trying to get into beer.

[Anonymous No.4565606]

>>4565482
someone is motherfucking pussy. stick to drinking your wine coolers, faggot.

[Anonymous No.4565607]

>>4565482
Chocolate Stout is legit.

I tried some of this for the first time a few weeks ago. I'm in England so good American beers are hard to come by. It's fucking delicious albeit a bit expensive, it's also 10% which is ridiculously strong for a beer.

[Anonymous No.4565608]

>>4565482
99% of stouts are disgusting.

[Anonymous No.4565611]

>>4565603
Apparently you are OP, because any one else would've read what he wrote and thought he was a complete asshole with 0 knowledge on beer spouting off about how much it sucks.

[Anonymous No.4565613]

>>4565596
Have you tried Foreign Extra? God damn that's a good beer.

>>4565581
hey, what's wrong with Weissbiers? They might not have the most complex flavours but they're delicious for the most part. Personally, I think they're the perfect beers for barbeques.

[Anonymous No.4565616]

>>4565611

Actually I'm a guy who tasted some really bad beers when I was first getting into beer and I'm just saying that OP shouldn't get discouraged for getting some swill labeled as "craft". Cheers.

[Anonymous No.4565617]

>>4565608
>99% of stouts are disgusting.
thats just dumb

[Anonymous No.4565620]

>>4565613
I live in Ireland, so the original is fine here

[Anonymous No.4565622]

>>4565594
Noted, and that has great reviews on beeradvocate, I guess earlier posters were right, I need to sit down and read before I find shit out the hard way, thanks for the heads up it's gonna be my next purchase

>>4565596
Now is this true?

>>4565598
What you think I'm doing here, asshat? Grabbing attention to right my wrongs, and I will run my mouth to people who waste time and autism on semantics rather than contribute. Should I say I want a lager that tastes like a tested man's Fruit Roll Up next? Will connoisseurs take me more seriously now?

>>4565607
Hey seekabrew says they distribute around here, it'll be on my to drink list but after today fucking bottom of it

>>4565613
>what's wrong with Weissbiers
Nothing at all, he's just saying stout might not be for me, and I didn't argue. I saw a few wheats in the aisles today

[Anonymous No.4565624]

>>4565622
>I saw a few wheats in the aisles today
a lot of breweries tend to release more wheat beers in the summer and stouts in the winter

[Anonymous No.4565626]

>>4565620
Foreign Extra tastes nothing like Original. It's a lot stronger.
Original sucks anyway, especially when compared to draught (as in actually from a tap, not the draught cans). I do like to cook with Original though, it seems to work really well as a marinade for pork.

[Anonymous No.4565629]

>>4565622
>Now is this true?
It's so true that there's a notable detriment in taste between Dublin and Cork. It's still alright in Cork though. I've had it in USA and it tasted like shit.

[Anonymous No.4565628]

>>4565613
Not trying to put weissbiers down, and I'll gladly grab one on a hot day. I'm just thinking that if OP thinks Guinness is toxic waste, weissbiers might offer a less precipitous learning curve.

[Anonymous No.4565631]

>>4565622
>>4565628

Yeah my bad. I guess I assumed you were saying they're shit.
That's what I get for browsing /v/. I need to stop.

[Anonymous No.4565638]

>>4565629
they brew the Guinness they sell in america in canada, so they can still label it as imported yet cut down on shipping costs

[Anonymous No.4565651]

MAKE BEER BREAD.

Feel free to try whatever you see, and if you don't enjoy it, say, wtf, I can cook with it. Marinate meat, deglaze a roast, or my favorite use for odd flavors is robin millers quick beer bread on foodnetwork website. Tastes great with watery lagers fruity weissbeers all he way to stouts. Enjoy hot out of the oven with a little orange zest honey butter that you can whip up while it's baking.

Might wanna save a stout in future for a food pairing like a juicy burger or some goulash, think heavy. I can't drink more than one personally before wanting something lighter. Damn good when in a bitter mood, and yea, it's the same random taste mood as reaching for a milk vs bittersweet mood. Once you like that taste doesn't mean you now prefer it, you just take it per your whim. Same goes for Radlers, shandys and aromatic spiced wheat beers like Leinenkugel's summer wheat. LOVE IT, when I'm in the mood. I'd stay away from Ipa's for a bit. Whet your palate on the above, and maybe try total wine for tastings which they mysteriously stop at like 5:30pm, doh. But, I got into a Schofenhoffer grapefruit beer kick, Brother Reserve lemongrass and I adore Sam smith's strawberry organic. Even Michelob Ultra subtle blood orange or lime cactus might be refreshing. Not manly enough? Oh just squeeze your own lime into a mexican lager. Take a peek at Dogfish Head special editions for heritage recipes. For superfruity get into the respectable belgium lambic beers.
After a while, move forward to lager straight up, then ale, and before long you'll enjoy the more flavorful hoppy and malty stuff. Or not.

[Anonymous No.4565668]

I'm sorry OP, you happen to not enjoy stouts. Many people don't. I enjoy plenty, but I despise any oatmeal or chocolate ones. Doesn't mean I won't down one if I make the mistake of purchasing them.

[Anonymous No.4565673]

>>4565626
This one time I was at a bar, I ordered a Guinness, and was horrified and fascinated to observe the barman upending a can of 'guinness draught' into a glass, and putting it onto some bizarro contraption that proceeded to generate head at the touch of a button.

Needless to say it tasted like fuck all.

[Anonymous No.4565716]

>>4565673
Yeah, they're called surgers. They're actually not too bad really, not as good as legit draight but ok if you really want a pint of Guinness. They're just for small pubs/bars that don't have a Guinness tap. It works through ultrasound and vibrates the glass really quickly, it's really cool visually.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Zjx0rTyZys

You can get cheap home surgers for relatively cheap, I was talking with my flatmate about getting one for the flat but we never went through with it.

[Anonymous No.4565720]

>>4565716
>You can get cheap home surgers for relatively cheap

I apologise. It's late and I'm tried.

[Anonymous No.4565744]

>>4565716
What's wrong with correct pouring technique?

[Anonymous No.4565761]

>>4565744
When Guinness is poured from a tap, it has nitrogen in it that creates the cloudy look you have from all the bubbles. Or something like that.
The surger is basically the bootleg version of this. If you just have Guinness from a can it tastes flat compared to draught.

[Anonymous No.4565775]

>brewed with cocoa

There's your problem.

Beers made with stupid hamfisted additives like that are awful. Words like "chocolate" should be a descriptor of what the flavor of the beer might be similar to due to the way it was produced, not to represent that chocolate was actually dumped in the beer, which is dumb and nasty.

[Anonymous No.4565781]

>>4565482

You quickly obviously don't like stouts, so why do you keep trying to drink stouts?

[Anonymous No.4565787]

>>4565594

Bullshit, for a macrobrew, its pretty damn good, especially for someone who is still in the "beer is icky" phase.

Try out Magic Hat #9, OP. It's not quite as bitter as most beers.

[Anonymous No.4565847]

>>4565761
I've never had any problem getting a head from a can. It's all in the way you pour, this machine is just a lazyman's way of doing it, so they can use beer-pouring techinques for stout and have the machine make up for it.

also, the cans have nitrogen too, otherwise there'd be no guinness head to begin with

[Anonymous No.4565852]

>>4565847
It's not about getting a head, it's about bringing the glass to life for lack of a better term. You can't recreate a draught Guinness by simply pouring it.

[Anonymous No.4565857]

>>4565852
Maybe it's different in America then

[Anonymous No.4565876]

perhaps you just don't like dark beer. try something lighter
personally don't care for darker beers but I'll drink a light irish beer all day. God I wish there was a way to get that cider to the US

[Anonymous No.4565884]

Cigar city is garbage though

[Anonymous No.4565900]

>>4565884

>implying

[Anonymous No.4566061]

>>4565482

>not liking dark beer

Go spend your money on a cat and a sex change operation.

>>4565576

>upper midwest beer is the best

Fuck your rust-belt shithole. Come to PacNW.

[Anonymous No.4566376]

>thinking stout is bitter

Stout is the most tasteless shit out there if it wasn't for the added flavor to appeal to 'muricans.

You shouldn't drink beer, like, ever OP.

[Anonymous No.4566412]

>>4565482
>I guess it tastes like chocolate
No liquor has ever tasted like chocolate or citrus without those flavors added.

[Anonymous No.4566669]

>>4565586
then tell me how the fuck you expected nesquik stout? obviously retarded

[Anonymous No.4566722]

>>4565482

OP failed by not getting a Fuller's London Porter, an Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Cream Stout, or the brutal Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout.

[Anonymous No.4566727]

>>4565482
I think what you want is a milk or oatmeal stout.

[Anonymous No.4566737]

>>4565586

I've been to the Magic Hat Brewery in Burlington, Vermont. The beer they make and serve up there is amazing. I've not been impressed with the crap they bottle and send down here to Florida(I'm in Florida too... Jacksonville to be more specific). It really tastes bad compared to what they have up north.

If you want to get something good. Get some beer by Harpoon (Their Summer Beer is awesome). It is from Boston, but every damn beer and ale they make kicks ass. I'd also recommend you get some Fuller's ESB. It is a world class ale which is delicious.

Oh oh oh and get some damn Belgian ale. The Belgians make the best beer in the entire world. It is flavorful and often has enough alcohol in it to knock you off your ass.

[Anonymous No.4566792]

I'm always curious if anyone in these threads have ever tried a beer from the little brew-pub I work at, I mean we bottle and distribute so it's possible, but it would be wild.

[Anonymous No.4566816]

I like the stuff from great lakes brewery

edmund fitzgerald and burning river are my favorites

got a tasters pack with like 4 of their brews last friday

[Anonymous No.4566844]

>>4565482
I don't know if they have it in FL but they do in AL so I'd assume they probably do. Anyway, if you see anything by Lazy Magnolia, stay the fuck away. They make shit tier swill.

[Anonymous No.4566932]

>>4565482
So let me get this right. You bought something that promised to taste like chocolate and coffee, but you don't like it because it's bitter. Am I caught up so far?

[Xenos No.4567747]

Stouts are a whole other animal from regular beer. Even porters are a whole other world.

[Anonymous No.4567868]

>>4566722
>London Porter
Good sir you have exquisite taste, some have a round of London Porter with me, my treat.

[Anonymous No.4568021]

I've taken a liking for dark beer, like Bernard Dark. Went to a wings restaurant and ordered this one, and holy shit it was damn good.

What is your opinion of it?

[Anonymous No.4568036]

>>4565482
Babby's first stout