/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.4538189]

UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA

[Anonymous No.4538205]

ASSISTANCE REQUIRED

[Anonymous No.4538206]

PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE

[Anonymous No.4538209]

>scan a bottle of glue

PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE

[Anonymous No.4538217]

PLACE YOUR ITEM INTO THE BAGGING AREA

[Anonymous No.4538223]

ASSISTANCE IS REQUIRED FOR THIS ITEM, PLEASE SET IT ASIDE AND CONTINUE WITH THE BAGGING PROCESS

[Sceak No.4538230]

>>4538189

They're terrible, right?

I hate the fact that it - speaks.

Here they have the Fujitsu ones. Oh dear lord. One version even asks for points cards not once, but twice!

[Anonymous No.4538231]

At least the machine doesn't make smalltalk.

SO HOW WAS YOUR DAY? PLEASE PRESS YOUR ANSWER ON THE SCREEN
> MUMBLE JIBBERISH
> GOOD
> Y-YOU TOO

[Anonymous No.4538233]

>At Tesco
>Swoop through the store like I usually do
>Avoid eye contact with everyone
>Pick up a bottle of Jack Daniel's
>Scan at self-service
>APPROVAL NEEDED
>APPROVAL NEEDED
>APPROVAL NEEDED
>My palms start to sweat
>I fumble quickly for my ID as I turn to the assistant
>Blonde, young, big-titted qt 3.14
>I start to stammer
>'I... ID... Jack, please...'
>She smiles at me almost reassuringly... motherly.
>She wants the D
>She approves it
>'Now you can enjoy your whiskey'
>'Jack Daniel's is a bourbon actually'
>'Oh... well enjoy your bourbon'
>'Y-You too...'

Fucking Tesco.

[Anonymous No.4538241]

>>4538233
>Fucking Tesco.

lost it

[Anonymous No.4538244]

>>4538217
>PLACE YOUR ITEM INTO THE BAGGING AREA
I FUCKING PLACED IT THERE, FUCK YOU
IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE SCALE ISN'T PRECISE ENOUGH TO DETECT A PACKAGE OF PEPPER
FUCK YOU

[Sceak No.4538248]

>>4538231

Sometimes I actually choose the cashiers because the machine talks too much.

[Anonymous No.4538258]

>>4538244
>PLACE YOUR ITEM INTO THE BAGGING AREA
FUCKING ICE BLUE RASPBERRY LEMONADE KOOL-AID
>PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE
YES, I AM A GROWN ASS MAN BUYING THIS DELICIOUS KOOL-AID

[Anonymous No.4538259]

I always try to scan my items and enter my debit card so quickly that the machine never stops talking, so far i've gotten very close

>PLEASE SCAN ITE-
>PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM IN TH-
>BLUEBERRIES: TWO NINETY-NI
>PLEASE SCAN ITEM
>...
>PLEASE ENTER YOUR PIN NU-
>PLEASE TAKE YOUR RECEIPT

[Anonymous No.4538275]

>>4538217
>not pressing down gently on the scale as you place small items onto it so it actually registers

[Anonymous No.4538286]

>>4538275
Until you let go.
>"PLEASE PLACE ITEM BACK IN THE BAG!"

[Anonymous No.4538312]

>>4538275
UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA

Also, >>4538286

[Anonymous No.4538347]

>2013
>still thinks self-checkout was a good idea

Hey, guys, did you know that you can just bring all your items to a clerk instead of waiting for a machine to tell you to go get one?

[Anonymous No.4538353]

>>4538347
>human interaction
Half these losers don't have mirrors in their houses they dread it so much.

[Anonymous No.4538359]

>>4538258
>ice blue raspberry lemonade

Mah nigga

[Anonymous No.4538363]

assistant girl was cute so I DID IT ON PURPOSE

[Anonymous No.4538367]

How can you people not know how scales work?

[Anonymous No.4538410]

>Go to self checkout
>Say everything is bananas
>Everything costs less than $2

The police? fuck em

[Anonymous No.4538431]

>>4538410
>Make a big purchase for the month, about 70 euros
>Carry my own re-usable bags in the shopping cart
>Stuff one of them with expensive shit, act as if it was empty
>Pay for my groceries as usual, hidden loot stashed in the bag
>Get out with supermarket with 80 euros worth of stolen food
>Give 300 grams of top quality iberic ham, cantabric anchovies and caviar to the homeless dude outside
Fuck the police

[Anonymous No.4538436]

>>4538233

Bourbon is a type of whiskey.

[None !5P0TETRAO2!!xI5T55E5wRH No.4538450]

>>4538359
Thoughts exactly.

>>4538410
awww shit!
>>4538431
NICE.

[Anonymous No.4538459]

>>4538436

Unless JD now do bourbon creams in bottles.

[Anonymous No.4538465]

>>4538233
Jack Daniels Isn't bourbon.

[Anonymous No.4538474]

>>4538465
Jack is the whiskey and Jim the bourbon, innit? I know both are from Tennessee, but "bourbon" is supposed to be from one particular region of the state, right?

[Anonymous No.4538475]

>>4538410
Why not just steal it then?

[Anonymous No.4538480]

>>4538474
Jack is tennesee sour mash whiskey. Jim Beam is a kentucky straight bourbon.

[Anonymous No.4538482]

>>4538480
Oh, Kentucky. Meh, the only whiskey I drink is Canadian, and sparingly at that. Thanks for the liquor lesson, though.

[Anonymous No.4538483]

>>4538475

because that'd be wrongggggg

Also it looks like I actually paid for them instead of me just getting out of there

[Anonymous No.4538565]

>>4538233
How much speghetti did you lose that day? Made me lol hard.

[Anonymous No.4538589]

I actually prefer these, at least when there aren't a bunch of hamplanets with 2 carts try to self checkout. I usually only have a small basket of stuff with me at most and can go through it very quickly.

I've always dreamed of your average time being recorded on your shopper's card. This would allow you access to the exclusive fastest self checkout machine if your average time was fast enough.

[Anonymous No.4538602]

>>4538589

I dream for shopping tournaments to come back

[Anonymous No.4538911]

>>4538431
That must've been a happy hobo

[Anonymous No.4538916]

>>4538189
>BAGGING AREA
>THAT FUCKING FEEL WHEN THE ITEM IS THE BAG

[Anonymous No.4538922]

>>4538916
Dunno about other systems, but Wal-Mart has a button for "I Brought My Own Bag". Upon pressing said button, you are instructed to place your bag(s) on the scale so it can calibrate.

[Anonymous No.4539341]

My mom likes to play a game when she goes through the self checkout
She pretends to horribly scan the item, and if it doesn't register or the machine starts to freak out she throws the item in the bag. It never ends up scanning said item.

[Anonymous No.4539343]

>using EBT but have non-EBT item that you plan to pay with cash
>PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE
>Sorry sir, you can't use EBT for that

[Anonymous No.4539363]

>>4538431

People like you honestly deserve a blowjob.

[Anonymous No.4539376]

>>4539341
Is that a way of stealing but looking like you are mentally challenged?

Your mom is brilliant!

[Anonymous No.4539378]

>>4539343
You reminded me of this good sir.

[Anonymous No.4539384]

>>4539376
Yes.
Her excuse if she ever got caught (she almost did once) was "I'm not a cashier and these machines are fucking ridiculous. They constantly stop and re check items, how was I supposed to know it didn't ring up"

[Anonymous No.4539399]

>>4539384
what is her 'almost got caught story'?

[Anonymous No.4539410]

>PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM ON THE SCALES
>Put fruit/vegetable on scales as lightly as possible
>Put it in bagging area
>PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE
>Store assistant confirms all is ok without even checking
>????
>PROFIT

[Anonymous No.4539424]

>>4538602
oh god yes, supermarket sweep

[Anonymous No.4539430]

>>4539410
if you're going to steal at least game the system correctly. the whole concept of the machines is that it checks the weight on the scanner against that in the bag. just switch the product code to something that is less $/lb and you won't even need to deal with the assistant

[Anonymous No.4539454]

>>4539430
yeah, like I'm faggot enough to check every item in the store to find the one with the lowest price by weight.

[Anonymous No.4539467]

>>4538189
>not living in an area that still uses hired manual labor to check out your food, bag it for you (eggs and bread on top), take it out to the parking lot, and help you load it into your vehicle.

It's like none of you even live in a fly-over state. Plebs.

[Anonymous No.4539471]

I didn't say lowest, just less. You don't even need to go out of you way either, the lower priced analogue is usually nearby.

>cilantro
>parsley

[Anonymous No.4539476]

>>4538286
>>4538312
Have you guys ever tried it before, or worked with scales at all? I'm just curious. I have to weigh out very small amounts of stuff at work and pressing down gently on the scale seems to get it to register the new weight. I'm talking about digital scales, just for clarification.

It seems to work for me at self checkout. I don't just sit there with my hand on the scale long enough to get an unexpected item error, and since it's expecting a certain weight it doesn't say anything about putting the item back in the bag..

[Anonymous No.4539477]

>>4539471
Don't reply to him, he will make up any hostile bullshit excuse against you and any idea you come up with.

[Anonymous No.4539488]

>>4538431
Oh god just imagine that hobo stuffing his face with caviar

[Anonymous No.4539493]

>>4538431
That hobo probably hates your for not giving him booze or cash for booze and drugs.

[Anonymous No.4539497]

>>4539493
thats why giving him caviar is so funny

[Anonymous No.4539548]

>>4539399
She played the game but stole hella expensive and large items.
When she went through the exit to go to her car, a greeter asked to see her receipt. My mom said no and continued to walk. The greeter straight grabbed my moms cart and threatened to call the police if she didn't let her look at her receipt.
My mom told her to fuck off and pulled the cart straight from the greeter's hands and walked out of the store.

[Anonymous No.4539561]

>>4539477
sick burn, anon. Sick burn.

[Anonymous No.4539572]

>>4539430
Those scales where the bags are can't tell the difference between apples and watermelon, but putting the less $/lb item is always smart.

Get Organic food, pay for cheep equivalent.
Get Fancypants apples, pay for red delicious
Get Premium milk chocolate chips in bulk, pay for salt.
In fact, pay for salt for every bulk item

[Anonymous No.4539586]

>>4539424

I always imagined being really good at that game. Just go straight to the meats and coffee and you're set.

[Anonymous No.4539612]

>>4539572
or, you know, get a real job

[Anonymous No.4539650]

>>4539612
hate to break it to you here but being a homogay isn't a real job.

[Anonymous No.4539656]

>>4539650

>wut r rentboys?

[Anonymous No.4539666]

>>4539656
str8 on str8 gay action

[Anonymous No.4539676]

>>4539666
>str8 on str8 gay action

wait...wouldn't one of them have to be gay before hand and both after?

[Anonymous No.4539687]

>>4539656

This is now in my internet history and my google account, google can now suggest gay things to me

thanks

[Anonymous No.4539690]

>>4539676
>implying individuals can be gay

[Anonymous No.4539700]

>>4539666
that's called str8 b8, m8

[Anonymous No.4539703]

[Anonymous No.4539705]

>>4539700
I only watch it for the acting

[Anonymous No.4539707]

>>4539666
trips for gay sin

[Anonymous No.4539709]

>>4538258
>not tropical punch master race
Sure is pleb in here.

[Anonymous No.4539730]

You guys do realize that you can mute the machines really easily, right

[Anonymous No.4539732]

>>4539378
Says the guy calling me a "good sir." Put on your fedora and get back to your case manager, autist

[Anonymous No.4539734]

>>4539732
spoken like a true autist

[Anonymous No.4539746]

>>4539734
Typed, not spoken faggot.

[Anonymous No.4539773]

>>4539746
Autisms always seem to have a problem with correctly things that aren't really problems.

[Anonymous No.4539778]

>>4539746
>more autism

yep, spoken like a true autist

[Anonymous No.4539808]

>>4539734
No, I agree with him. That "good sir" shit is some fedorafag tier stuff.

[Anonymous No.4539870]

>>4538233
>At tesco
>Have a real grown up job with a proper wage
>Still feel the need to put more krispy kremes in the bag than I declare
>Also buying gin
>QT till assistant has to come over
>Krispy kreme x1 is right there on the screen
>SHE KNOWS

She didn't even bother telling anyone, she just gave me this look of pure pity that I am still stealing donuts

[Anonymous No.4539901]

>>4539870
what flavours were your doughnutz?

[boob No.4539904]

>>4539870 u mug

being a tight ass I try to buy reduced items... n sometimes when the new barcode doesn't cover the old one... so bad

[Anonymous No.4539931]

>>4538189

>mfw I control the selfserve at work

yes we are laughing at you

[Anonymous No.4539938]

>>4539931
>being laughed at by someone who makes less in a year than I do in a week

yeah, nah, I'm ok

[Anonymous No.4539942]

>>4539938
y'know what, guy, I got that from an NWA song. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous No.4539950]

>>4539467
>not living in an area that still uses hired manual labor to check out your food, bag it for you (eggs and bread on top), take it out to the parking lot, and help you load it into your vehicle.
mfw they won't even accept tips

[Anonymous No.4540010]

>>4539931
>used to work self checkout at winn dixie in high school
>people come to self checkout and tell me to scan their shit for them
That's not the point of self checkout, goddamn I hate these lazy shits down here in the South

also
>the people that scan their stuff and demand that you put the money in the machine for them

[/ck/ No.4540011]

>>4538233
/r9k/ goes shopping

[Anonymous No.4540016]

>>4538189

>cashier asks you for an ID after buying compressed air in a can

my gf and I did not see that one coming

[Anonymous No.4540023]

>>4539950
I used to carry out groceries in high school. Shit was awesome.

[Anonymous No.4540079]

>>4539950
I did that job once.
They threaten to fire you if you do take tips.

Every now and again they had people from corporate actually follow you and the customer to their car with a clipboard rating you on how well the conversation between you and the customer went.

It was the shittiest fucking thing.

[Anonymous No.4540168]

>>4538922
I just scan the item, put it in my bag, then put both on the scale.

[Anonymous No.4540255]

>>4540079
jesus christ that'd be awful

[Anonymous No.4540269]

>>4540079
We weren't "supposed" to take tips when I did it, the manager put a sign on the door that said no tipping. But he'd look the other way if we got tips. Like, we could count our tips at the end of the night in front of him. He just put the sign there so customers wouldn't feel like they were expected to tip us. It was a locally owned grocery store though, great job for highschool kids. I'd pull in like $40 a night in tips.

[Anonymous No.4540583]

>>4538465
>>4538480
>From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
>Although the product generally meets the regulatory criteria for classification as a straight bourbon, the company disavows this classification and markets it simply as Tennessee whiskey rather than as Tennessee bourbon.
>tealdeer it's bourbon

[Anonymous No.4540654]

HOLY SHIT THIS THREAD IS MY LIFE
>FUCKING WALMART CALCULATES THE SHIT OUT OF THEIR STUFF
>LITERALLY THEY MAKE SURE THAT EVEN SOMETHING AS LIGHT AS CHAPSTICK IS MEASURED
>CAN'T STEAL SHIT

[Anonymous No.4540690]

>>4538431
>Give OTHER people's shit to hobo
>Get praised
How very Yurop of you, /ck/.

[Anonymous No.4540698]

>>4540016
>Go through walmart
>Buy 3 pack of Dust off
>No ID requested

WalkinOnSunshine.j2k

[Anonymous No.4540737]

>One item doesn't have a barcode
>another ones barcode don't read because its wet

PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE

[Anonymous No.4540760]

>>4538189
>>4538205
>>4538206

>palm two items, scan one
>throw them both into the bag
>PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE
>it's Saturday night and the store is fucking packed
>look stupid and stare at the screen until the supervising worker clears the prompt without even talking to me
>ring up bulk spices as cornmeal
>ring up fruits and vegetables as cheaper shit
I've been in love with self-checkouts ever since I bought Diablo II without being carded when I was 13.

[Anonymous No.4540832]

>>4539773
>Autisms always seem to have a problem with correctly things that aren't really problems.
>seem to have a problem with correctly things that aren't
>have a problem with correctly things
>with correctly things
>correctly
Ahahahahahahaha.

[Anonymous No.4540855]

>>PLEASE PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON, YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO COMPLY

...

>>YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF PENAL CODE 113 SECTION 9

[Anonymous No.4540858]

i watched a landwhale and her ham planet mother get pissed at a self checkout because the daughter kept leaning on the scale which prompted the unexpected item in bagging area alert, and then she would lean off and then lean on again and never knew it was her meat tornado of a leg that was doing it

[Anonymous No.4540866]

>>4540858
top lel

[Anonymous No.4540872]

>self checkout
>not profiting from cashier's mistakes

I got 3 lbs of ground turkey free today because the guy was lazy.

[Anonymous No.4540873]

>>4540760

You're a shit stain, what you're doing is shoplifting and it puts prices up for honest customers.
I'd rather be friends with a murderer then a thief, at least a murderer will stab you in the face, you're just a sneaky gutless piece of shit.
I feel sorry for anyone that lets you in their house, you're a thieving cunt.

[Anonymous No.4540876]

>>4540858
lost my shit at "meat tornado of a leg"

[Anonymous No.4540906]

>>4539572
You know I used to do this for the longest time till the machine somehow figured out what I was doing.

Shit was embarrassing. "Aha..hah.. n-no I must've just clicked the wrong button.. haha.."

[Anonymous No.4540926]

>24
>live with my parents
>go shopping with my mom
>UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA
>RED LIGHTS FLASHING EVERYWHERE
>Everyone stops and stares
>Person comes over and overrides the machine
>Crisis averted
>Total bill rapidly approaching $75
>Bill now >$75
>ASSISTANCE REQUIRED
>RED LIGHTS FLASHING EVERYWHERE
>Oh fuck not again
>Stare at the floor in shame while my mom talks with the friendly employee


After a while I learned that the machine needs verification if you spend more than $75...which is why I make sure I don't buy a boatload of shit when I go shopping with my mom.

I want to kill myself

[Anonymous No.4540943]

>>4540926

buster, is that you?

[Anonymous No.4540955]

>>4540873
you would think taking food from the grocery would cause management to increase prices to cover the losses, but the losses are really small compared to the reduction in labor costs created by self managed checkout stations.

[Anonymous No.4540966]

>>4540926
>living with your parents at 24

[Anonymous No.4540972]

>>4540873
>at least a murderer will stab you in the face
You're absolutely retarded. Also, I have serious doubts that you're qualified to be any sort of moral authority.

[Anonymous No.4540985]

>>4539950
I work in a supermarket. I was actually tipped once. I have no idea what the store policy is on tips because I'm not an Americunt and so we only tip in restaurants. I refused but the guy kept insisting so in the end I accepted it.

[Anonymous No.4540990]

>>4540858
We have teenage and early 20s mothers come in with their illegitimate children and the bastards climb ONTO the fucking checkouts.

[Anonymous No.4540996]

>>4540990
That's nothing, just wait until the niggers start changing their niglet diapers in the checkout line and you're expected to put your food on there next.

[Anonymous No.4541053]

>>4538474
It's more complicated than that. You should read the law for yourself about what defines bourbon here in the USA.

It get's wierd fast.
http://www.ttb.gov/labeling/index.shtml
That's not the only authority.

[Anonymous No.4541062]

>>4539343
Fuck you
Get a job

[Anonymous No.4541068]

>get 6 6-packs of beer
>scan only one bottle from each
>pay for only 6 beers instead of 36
>cashier smiles at you and wishes a nice day
>thanks you too
>sauce boss

[Anonymous No.4541084]

While I think self-serve checkouts are a great idea in theory, there is nothing I hate more than watching people with FULL FUCKING TROLLIES go through them, holding everyone up and genuinely being massive cunts.

As if your food is too good to be handled by another human being or something. It's so pompous and ridiculous.

[Anonymous No.4541108]

>>4540690
>b-but muh corporations!
I said fuck the police anon. Fuck them all

[Anonymous No.4541122]

>about to pay
>long queue behind you
>reach for wallet
>it's not there

[Anonymous No.4541127]

I have not had that issue in years, the only thing that bothers me is full on retards like old couples putting a whole trolley full of shit through when it's a peak time- go to the god-damn cashier 5 metres away, you know how slow you are so why hold up the 20+ people with 3 or 4 items?

[Anonymous No.4541141]

>>4541084
The stores in Denmark offering self-checkout have a policy of only allowing customers with 10 items or less to use them.

[Anonymous No.4541151]

>mfw self-checkout is never going to happen in my country because everybody would steal
>mfw everybody steals from supermarkets anyways
>mfw I am one of them

[Anonymous No.4541172]

>>4541084
The store I go to has a set for people with a few items, and a set with belts for people with full carts. But when I go through with full carts, I always make sure to bring someone with me to bag so when I go to pay I'm all done, instead of scanning, paying, and then bagging.
>those people that go through the long self-checkout with only one or two items

[Anonymous No.4541200]

>>4541141
We need that in Australia so badly. Sundays at around 2pm after work are the worst, holy shit. It's quicker for me to go through a normal check-out with my 3 items than it is to go through self-serve.

[Anonymous No.4541231]

>>4541200
>People with so much spaghetti they bring a trolly to the self-service instead of a manned register despite the fact it would be twice as fast

[Anonymous No.4541238]

>>4541231
It's mostly people in their 30s/40s that do it here, generally with kids. Them and foreigners (I don't like to generalise like that, but this is observational). Like I said before, I think it's just arrogance. They feel the need to control their food entirely.

[Anonymous No.4541245]

>>4541238
Idk, where I work, people with kids and foreigners almost never use the self-checkouts. It's mainly old people, and people coming in to get a few items. There'll be the occasional retard with a trolley, but where I work, it's pretty efficient.

[Anonymous No.4541253]

>>4541231
mmm...delicious spaghetti...

[Anonymous No.4541260]

>>4541231

I've done this twice, and only because out of the 10 manned registers they had, only two were open and had giant lines. One of the cashiers was a guy that always seems to squash things, so yeah, I'd rather take the self-serve.

[Anonymous No.4541264]

Self checkout is so terribly slow. Only ever use it at that one supermarket where there's a small exit at the back which not many people know about.

[Anonymous No.4541337]

I've seen extreme coupon purple use the self checkout so they can try and use an expired set of coupons or ones for different products. It's funny the bitch fits those cunts will throw about saving 50 cents when they're buying 50 bars of soap.

[Anonymous No.4541339]

I've seen extreme coupon people use the self checkout so they can try and use an expired set of coupons or ones for different products. It's funny the bitch fits those cunts will throw about saving 50 cents when they're buying 50 bars of soap.

[Anonymous No.4541357]

>>4539410
hover item over bagging area, weigh your car keys instead.

[Anonymous No.4541387]

>>4538189
ALL I DID WAS STRAIGHTEN UP THE BAG SO I CAN PUT MY FUCKING GROCERIES IN IT!
FUCK!

You know what, fuck it
I'm just going to go to different machine fuck this

[Anonymous No.4541476]

Oh noes. The checkout girl might come over and make a joke or try to flirt with you.

"The machine just doesn't seem to like you anon"

"Er, thanks. You t'too... "

[Anonymous No.4541499]

>>4539410
funny though, that 90% of time, the employee just come over and overrides the machine without checking jack skwat

[Anonymous No.4541504]

>>4541499

I've had a ton of free stuff this way, and it's not the theft if the store know about it and override the machine.

Sometimes I point out stuff that is on offer at the shelf but not at the machine and they give it to me free if they can't get the offer to come up.

[Anonymous No.4541518]

>go into grocery store with backpack
>scan a couple of things and then put the rest into your backpack which is on the ground instead of the scales
>walk out of store with £80 of food without paying for anything

i dont understand how this is possible

[Anonymous No.4541530]

>Person next to you puts their bags on your bagging area
>It throws off YOUR weight measurements

[Anonymous No.4541533]

>At Tesco's self-service counter
>One item won’t scan
>To beta to ask for help
>Leave it there

[Anonymous No.4541537]

>>4541518
Wouldn't that trigger alarms, or don't they have them in supermarkets

[Anonymous No.4541567]

>most of the stores here get staff to walk over and take receipt off machine and hand it to you
>pretending to be courteous but really checking if you've stolen anything
I always put my hand over where it prints and grab it as soon as its printing out so they can't check even though I'm not stealing anything

[Anonymous No.4541571]

>>4541537
Last time I checked they didn't hide an alarm inside vegetables, fish, meat, fruit or most canned and packaged shit, which should be about 90% of your groceries. Generally they only put it in very expensive items and alcohol bottles, which is why >>4538431 and >>4541518 works

[Anonymous No.4541576]

What do you guys do when stores ask to look in your bag? if its a shopping bag I'll show them but I'll refuse if its my backpack
>have 10k worth of electronics in backpack
>in store to buy drink
>guy asks to see in my bag
>"nah sorry"
>guy starts getting aggressive
>says its store policy
>"its not the law I really don't care about your store policy"
>start walking out
>guy tells me to wait while he calls his manager
>he starts panicking the further away I go
>people stopping at looking at me as I walk away as if I'm a child rapist

[Anonymous No.4541588]

>>4541533
Type in the code manually faggot

[Anonymous No.4541592]

>>4541567

The only things in Tescos I've seen with alarms are alcohol and DVD cases. They're not gonna sneak an alarm into a loaf of bread or a tin of kidney beans.

[Anonymous No.4541596]

>>4541592
In the Tesco I work in we have to security tag cheese and 500ml bottle of lucozade


My town is that shit.

[Anonymous No.4541600]

>>4541596
I know some really poor people with absolutely no money at all that steal cheese and stuff to make sandwiches so its not always people doing it for the thrill

[Anonymous No.4541603]

>>4541596
Cheese is really fucking expensive right now.

[Anonymous No.4541619]

I usually steal expensive cheeses because I'm a poorfag student that can't afford them and just love the fuck out of them. Not like I actually need them to eat though, but holy shit cheese is so expensive around here

[Anonymous No.4541620]

>>4541596
Newcastle, Liverpool, Manchester or Scotland?

Has to be one of those four.

[Anonymous No.4541622]

>>4541576
Basically, what you did. There's no reason at all why you can't opt to leave instead of choosing to stay and let them search you.

[Anonymous No.4541636]

>>4541622
If you were taking a ton of stuff though (electronics), wouldn't the store call the cops and give them your description?

I'm sure you can't just stroll out with a cheesy grin, giving the finger and saying "Whatever, I do what I want!" and expect to walk home and continue life like nothing happened.

[Anonymous No.4541644]

>>4541636
sorry for the confusion they were my electronics, a camera and laptop and a few other things that I didn't want anybody seeing

[Anonymous No.4541663]

>>4541644
You could have just said that.
If it were me I would personally get a little upset, women can walk around just fine with their purses but me with my backpack is suspicious?

[Anonymous No.4541673]

>>4541663
I shouldn't really even have to say anything though, that's my point exactly I see women carrying around handbags bigger than my backpack and it'd be easier to slip things inconspicuously into a handbag than taking off and unzipping a backpack while not being seen

[Anonymous No.4541693]

>>4541620
Torbay

[Anonymous No.4541719]

>>4541238
I always assumed foreigners used the self-checkouts because it's easier for them to deal with them than a cashier with their shitty English.

[Anonymous No.4541736]

>>4541693
Wow, I'm in Hull, in NE England and we don't have those kind of precautions. I always though your part of the world (Cornwall?) was idyllic and sweet with no crime at all! Then again, cheese is probably twice as expensive there.

[Anonymous No.4541759]

>In line for self checkout
>20-30 items in my cart
>High school-aged kid appears behind me holding an energy drink
>Oh, you can go first
>N-no that's ok
>No seriously you have like one item and my cart is full
>Okay.jpg
>Scans energy drink
>Condoms and lube spill out of his shirt
>Scans them quickly, throws them in the bag, pays cash and scampers out of the store

Which one of you was this?

[Anonymous No.4541767]

>>4541759
Cool story bro, but if you try to scan condoms or lube you will get the "ASSISTANCE REQUIRED" and an employee has to come by to verify you are at least 18. Been there, done that, spaghetti fell out.

[Anonymous No.4541776]

>>4541767
Really? Where are you from? Where I live its illegal to refuse anybody condoms even if a 4 year old came into a store and purchased them the cashier wouldn't be able to do anything

[Anonymous No.4541784]

>>4541767
I didn't want to stare too closely so it's possible he didn't scan them or something but I thought he did. It was at a Wegman's if that makes a difference

[/ck/ No.4541787]

>>4541776
most of them have anti theft tags on them that need to be deactivated.

[Anonymous No.4541836]

>>4541787
It's sad that people are so embarrassed about wearing condoms that they feel the need to steal them.

[Anonymous No.4541842]

>>4541836
I don't really understand the embarrassment, I could understand if they were worried about being seen by somebody they know but that's it really. its funny seeing people buying a chocolate bar or something with the condoms to try make it less noticeable

[Anonymous No.4541856]

>>4540906
how?

[Anonymous No.4541861]

>>4541856
the machines are self aware I tried to unplug one once and it screamed

[Anonymous No.4541864]

Hey /ck/, can you give a poorfag some advice on stealing food? From what I've seen, you seem knowledgeable enough.

[Anonymous No.4541870]

>>4541836
>be 15
>first time buying condoms
>girlfriend asked me to
>okay fine i have money
>go into convenience store
>they're all behind the counter
>don't wear my glasses because those are stupid
>can't read what they say
>ask him for a pack of condoms
>gives me a 5 pack and i pay
>run back to her house
>these fucking things are so tight and small
>hurts putting it on
>can't feel a thing with it on
Last time I ever bought them.

[Anonymous No.4541876]

>>4541864

Where are you? Find a neighbor with a garden and go to town. Better and safer than hitting the supermarket.

[Anonymous No.4541883]

>>4541876
Currently in a suburb. So impossible.

[Anonymous No.4541887]

>>4541870
dude he gave you a pack of thimbles

[Anonymous No.4541891]

>>4541883
if you lived in a suburb there would be more gardens?

[Anonymous No.4541897]

>>4541883
>Impossible
>In a suburb
How?
Also if you steal from a garden you are scum.

[Anonymous No.4541901]

>>4541897
if somebody asked nicely I'd be more than happy to give them stuff from my garden every so often so yea I agree

[Anonymous No.4541900]

>>4541891
I mean like lower-middle class suburbs with 110 degree temperature. Nobody grows anything. It's an urban wasteland. Plus my nearby neighbors are bro-tier.

[Anonymous No.4541905]

>>4541900
there has to be somebody look on google earth, look at old peoples gardens especially there's a guy up the street from me with vegetables growing on his front yard

[Anonymous No.4541908]

>>4541900

Leave Phoenix then.

Actually grew up there though - go to North Central, it's irrigated, and has tons of fruit trees.

[Anonymous No.4541918]

>>4541864

I usually do this >>4538431

It is really easy, but you have to spend some money, at least to fill one and a half bags (you put the half over the thingss that you have stolen). Target small and expensive shit, so you can fit a shitload of it in one bag. The best part is that when you are hiding your loot on the bag, it just looks like you are rearranging your groceries inside the shopping cart so nobody is going to catch you. Even if the alarm rings (this has never happened to me), just act surprised as if the cashier had forgotten to deactivate the chip from something you bought. They'll never guess that the stolen shit is inside the bag, and even then is mixed with the legit things that you bought. You should check that the detectors are farther than the cashier stall, obviously,

Optionally, give some of the free food to hobos for extra points, and don't forget to give them some wine or beer aswell.

[Anonymous No.4543583]

>>4540858
i also forgot to add in between the unexpected item prompt the mom would take the bag off the scale prompting the item removed from bagging area prompt ad nauseum

[Anonymous No.4543897]

>>4541870

idk what he sold you, but condoms stretch to absurd sizes. me and my friends used to do stupid shit with them, like putting them over our heads and blowing them up with air until they burst; or putting them on our feet and racing across the tile floor.

and yes, a bunch of 13-14 year old kids buying a lot of condoms got us some strange looks.

[Anonymous No.4543945]

Plastic bags banned in my city just recently.
PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA.
There are no bags.
Walked out leaving everything there.

[Anonymous No.4543960]

>>4540966
>High as fuck cost of living
>go live by yourself after you graduate and before you have sufficient funds
toplel

[Anonymous No.4543984]

I want to step on the throats of the asians or old people who go through self-checkout and expect the girl running it to do all the work for them while they stand there looking asian or confused.

[Anonymous No.4544066]

>>4543984
Where did you get that, /b/?

[Anonymous No.4544070]

>>4544066

your mom

[Anonymous No.4544177]

>>4539454
it's probably onions or something

[Anonymous No.4544213]

>>4539870
>look of pure pity that I am still stealing donuts
>stealing donuts
Lost it hard

[Anonymous No.4544274]

>>4543984
>looking asian or confused.
I lol'd an unhealthy amount, I fucking know exactly what you're talking about