[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

View post   
File: 73 KB, 500x500, IMG_0005.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370106 No.4370106[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

So, I haven't seen my parents in over a year since moving and in that time I've gained quite a lot of weight.
My birthday is in two weeks however and I don't want them to freak out about my weight.

What can I cook to make them think I'm eating healthy?

>> No.4370112

i mean, if that is a picture of you...anyone can know you're not eating healthy. just saying

>> No.4370115

GOTDAMNSON

>> No.4370116

>>4370106
deep fried pizza
that you had delivered
and then fried

>> No.4370121

I giggled.

>> No.4370134

>>4370112

Maybe I can make them think I'm starting to eat healthier though?

>> No.4370139

Are you legitimately trying to eat healthier? If so, make some lighter sandwiches (No mayo. Stick to mustard.) or perhaps a nice salad with fixin's. (No ranch, sadly.)

Good luck!

>> No.4370141

>>4370134
the only thing you could convince people you're eating is krill you filter from the water with your baleen.

>> No.4370142

>>4370106
serve them a nice plate of copy pasta?

>> No.4370143

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/definitive-guide-to-the-primal-eating-plan/#axzz2PcogA9Q0
then go back to your ways after. also, haven't you posted this before? I have seen this before.

>> No.4370145

It's a troll thread /ck/. Stop indulging it.

>> No.4370155

How much have you gained since you last saw them?

>> No.4370165
File: 76 KB, 500x500, IMG_0003.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370165

>>4370155

I was Just above 317lbs back then.
Last time I weighed myself was back in February I was 384lbs.

>> No.4370211

>>4370165
I think I would kill myself.

Not the best advice though... Sage because I contributed shit, not because I try to be hating towards you..

>> No.4370214
File: 75 KB, 640x480, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370214

>> No.4370229

>>4370214

You're one to speak.

Not OP btw.

>> No.4370254

>>4370229
>thatsthejoke.jpg

>> No.4370258
File: 1.08 MB, 180x200, what EES thees sheet.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370258

>>4370229
I'm 98% certain that that was, in fact, the joke.

>> No.4370262

This thread is on /fa/ too

What is going on

>> No.4370263
File: 11 KB, 424x335, jk.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370263

>>4370229

>> No.4370264
File: 84 KB, 640x480, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370264

>>4370229

Op's bigger though, I'm only 348lbs.

>>4370258

It was.

>> No.4370267

>>4370264
Wow, you actually have tits.

>> No.4370271

>>4370264
>only 348 lbs

>> No.4370276

>>4370264

I love how your belly forms a :3

>> No.4370291
File: 216 KB, 1089x946, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370291

>>4370267

Yeah, and a second pair underneath on the way.

>>4370271

Well, it's not THAT much.
Is it?

>>4370276

Never noticed that before. :3

>> No.4370297

>>4370291
>>4370264
>>4370106
>>4370165

What a nice couple you'd make.

>> No.4370311

>>4370291
You are a disgusting individual, although I am sure you know that. When did you just give up on life?

I was on a flight a couple years back and complained when someone about your size sat beside me and was moved to first class. I guess you guys are good for something.

>> No.4370313

Fat people disgust me.

>> No.4370342

>>4370291

Holy fuck your gut is big.
How do you even get this fat?

>> No.4370366

>>4370297

An almost 800lb couple.

They couldn't even take the 3-person elevator up to my apartment together without exceeding the weight limit. though I doubt they would even fit.

>> No.4370374

I HAVE A WHISK
YOU HAVE A BOWL
MAYBE WE SHOULD MAKE SOME SCRAMBLED EGGS, KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN

>> No.4370392

>>4370291

>348lbs
>not that much

You're almost three times my weight and have bigger breasts than me despite being a guy.

>> No.4370417

COPY PASTA THREAD MOVE ALONG FOLKS NOTHING TO SEE HERE

>> No.4370424
File: 1.10 MB, 3264x2448, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370424

>>4370311

Airplane seats are tight.
After takeoff you can raise the armrest though.
Luckily the girl I was placed beside was quite thin.

>>4370342

A love for food and snacks.

>>4370392

How much do you weigh?
I haven't weighed myself in months so I might already be three times your weight.

>> No.4370428
File: 74 KB, 640x480, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370428

>>4370417

Really?

>> No.4370445

>>4370428

Oh fuck.

So you're really that fat?

>> No.4370455

>>4370106
>So, I haven't seen my parents in over a year
I bet you haven't seen your dick in over a year too OP

>> No.4370456

>>4370428
the OP is copypasta you are glorious in many ways friend. You don't think this may be unrelated to food and cooking though? Perhaps disrobing and photographing your physique is better suited for another board.

>> No.4370463

>>4370456

Sorry, will head to /soc/.

Got inspired by OP.

>> No.4370469
File: 96 KB, 750x500, ຂອບໃຈຫຼາຍໆເດີ້.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370469

>>4370165
>>4370214
>>4370264
>>4370291
>>4370424
>>4370428

YOU AMERICAN SO FAT!!!

YOU WAY 300 KG!!!

AMERICAN IS PIG OR COW

GREETING FROM LAOS

>> No.4370468

>>4370456

I think this is very much food related. Them rolls got there somehow...

>> No.4370467
File: 25 KB, 175x191, 1354423663765.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370467

>>4370456
That gut is definitely related to food.

>> No.4370466

>>4370463
no, pls stay just talk about food and cooking!

>> No.4370483
File: 206 KB, 1076x882, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370483

>>4370466

:D

>>4370467

It might have had a hand in its creation.

>>4370468

When I was little I always heard "you are what you eat".

Now that I've lived on pizza and gummy candy I find it funny that my belly feel like a mix of pizza dough and jelly.

>> No.4370507

>>4370483

Make it smile

>> No.4370511

>>4370424
Of course you have a neckbeard too.

>> No.4370518

>>4370483
God you are nasty looking. The fat lumps aren't even symmetrical, that makes it so much worse.

Virgin?

>> No.4370557

>>4370483

What kind of girl do you like?

Are fat people drawn to fat people?

>> No.4370565

>>4370483
>actually liking gummy candy enough to eat it more than once a year.

>> No.4370573

>>4370106
Your parents are going to wish they had a better daughter. They may not say it to your face but after then leave or even in the night as they unwind from the awkward dinner meal of plankton leafs and figs you pathetically threw down to try and convince them you're "healthy".

>We failed as parents

They will never get to know the pride and comfort of Grand Children you will never mother. Or even a fulfilling life you don't and won't have. Because you are such a disgusting gluttonous lazy weak willed waste of potential.

>> No.4370608
File: 82 KB, 450x800, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4370608

>>4370511

Hides my double chin.
Or that's what I tell myself.

>>4370565

I could eat it every day.

>>4370557

I like both fat and skinny girls, wouldn't mind a girl my own size or bigger like OP's pic or this one.