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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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4298595 No.4298595 [Reply] [Original]

>ITT:modern culinary things that piss you off

square plates dont know why but i cant stand them and will not eat at a restaurant that uses them

>> No.4298606

Polenta.

>> No.4298614
File: 279 KB, 1600x1089, 1162313161900.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4298614

>>4298595
I bought square plates and bowls a couple of years ago. It was a nice change at first but I've noticed lately that when I'm walking by the kitchen aisle I tend to eye the round plates.

I think I'll keep the square ones just to mix it up every now and then.

>> No.4298621

>>4298614
the circular shape is just more pleasing to the eye, squares are really annoying

>> No.4298623

The entire concept of "eating with your eyes."

Any effort a chef spends on presentation is effort not spent on taste. Taste is all that matters.

>> No.4298633
File: 242 KB, 1600x971, Blue+Rice[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4298633

>>4298623
If it looks like dog shit and puke, I'm not gonna eat it, no matter how good it tastes. It doesn't have to be terribly pretty, but it still has to look like food that won't kill you.

>> No.4298642

>>4298623

stop pretending you know what goes on in a kitchen

to that I'll add people that think they know fuckall about what goes on past their experience at the table

>> No.4298646

>>4298633

So if you were at my place, we'd just fucked, and you were hungry, and I'd serve you one of my famous dishes, ensuring you of its nutritional value, but completely skimping on presentation, you'd simply reject the dish?

>> No.4298649

>>4298646
I'm a lesbian. I'd have rejected you after the first sentence that oozed from your mouth.

>> No.4298654

>>4298649

I'm gay. I wouldn't have talked to you. I'm allergic to females, in many ways.

>> No.4298655

>>4298654
Then your hypothetical situation has been rendered moot.

>> No.4298658

>>4298646
You don't have famous dishes, all you have are saggy nipples, faggot. Why haven't you committed suicide already?

>> No.4298659

>>4298655

So this awesome 6'6", 300 lb 1500 m swimmer with a mustache walks up to you and invites you for a nice dinner at her place. She serves you something that's not super well presented, but ensures you of its nutritional value. You really want her to munch on your carpet, do you munch on her swill or skip straight to bed, never to return to the plate?

>> No.4298664

Get cancer, Sceak.

>> No.4298665

>>4298659

i seriously hope you die of stomach cancer

>> No.4298666

>>4298659
Since I'm femme-for-femme, none of the above. I'd let her down gently and offer to hook her up with one of my friends.

>> No.4298668

>>4298606
>polenta
>modern

OP, nothing really pisses except bad service and terrible food.

>> No.4298670

I too, hate square bowls because you need to add more cereal than usual to seem that you aren't trying to cut your meals alot.

>> No.4298726

>>4298666

Classy. Many people I'd reject, just because someone else introduced me to them.

Sage for way off topic and not getting any answers.

>> No.4298739

>>4298726
Then let me help you out. Assuming I find a chick I really like and get along well with, if she were to make a meal that's not super well presented, that's fine. It doesn't need to look like it came out of a 4-star restaurant. As long as it looks edible, it's fine. Besides, we could work on presentation together (or I could just take over the bulk of cooking).

>> No.4298742 [DELETED] 

>>4298726
Sceak when is the last time you had a proper dicking?

>> No.4298753

>>4298739

But I do can imagine the lesbian returning a dish from her girlfriend like Kerry Vincent or Amanda Freitag, and the huge domestic scene that would ensue.

>>4298742

What's that got to do with anything? This is a food board, and the last guy I was with had cheesedick the last time he was here.

You're both using this board as Facechan. I'm reporting you both. I'm merely defending myself, for the record.

>> No.4298758

This restaurant near me uses second hand stainless steel plates from hospitals and all their cutlery is from odd sets and doesn't match, their napkins always say something on them like "happy new year 2008".
The guy that owns the restaurant is Greek and likes to save money I guess, he buys all his cutlery and stuff from second hand auctions.
The food and atmosphere is awesome, the staff are great and I think it's good that he is saving all this stuff from ending up in a land fill and going to waste, you always need to book ahead, the place holds a couple hundred people and is always packed.

>> No.4298765

>>4298753
You win I deleted it. Have a nice day. Polite sage.

>> No.4298768

>>4298765

I wasn't trying to win, I just tend to get banned when I have conversations outside of /b/.

>> No.4298770

>>4298595
I think square plates are just a fad, I haven't seen them as much in shops lately.

Also, food fads like which are just novelty ways to eat another food piss me off. Like deconstructed sandwiches and cake pops.

>> No.4298772
File: 1.13 MB, 150x118, oie_89641BFDiVMeq.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4298772

>>4298664
...can cancer even get cancer?

>> No.4298775

>>4298758
That's pretty cool. I guess it just adds to the atmosphere if the crockery and cutlery doesn't match, makes it seem more cosy and home-like.

>> No.4298779

||>>4298772||
Yes, secondary tumors can form on tumors.

>> No.4298783

||>>4298595||

I personally like square plates. I don't like plain, old, round plates much. Square plates are often too large, though. I tend to eat in my square saucers.

I like geometric things, I just like the way square plates look on a rectangular table. I also like the contrast between the lines, that are often absent from organic items. Curves are found everywhere in nature.

I like square plates.

>> No.4298792
File: 71 KB, 669x399, whysosquare.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4298792

||>>4298595||

Do rectangles count as squares? Because rectangular (and generally oblong) plate are fucking awesome for some things.

>> No.4298794

||>>4298646||
>I'd serve you one of my famous dishes, ensuring you of its nutritional value

I think you mean: forever-alone horse manure straight out of the rice cooker and sprinkled with crushed up vitamin supplements.

>> No.4298797

||>>4298726||
>Sage for way off topic

Sage.

Sceak !!LciZj2frsW6

>> No.4298800

||>>4298768||
>I just tend to get banned when I have conversations outside of /b/.

>maybe you should use your ID on all boards?

>> No.4298821

This:

Cheap ethnic food + hipsters = Barely looks and taste like the original but now costs 5 times as much

>> No.4298828
File: 19 KB, 300x300, 091006sriracha.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4298828

||>>4298821||
oops, forgot pic

>> No.4298830

||>>4298828||
Except I didn't. Seems like you just hate popular stuff. Nay, I think YOU are the hipster.

>> No.4298831

||>>4298821||

You do realize that if you shopped anywhere other than your overpriced (yeah, I'm gonna say it) hipster vegan organic grocery stores Sriracha would still be cheap ethnic food, right?

>> No.4298832

||>>4298831||
You do realize that I didn't post that sriracha pic, right?

>> No.4298835

This thread is worse than Hitler

>> No.4298839

||>>4298832||
>You do realize that I didn't post that sriracha pic, right?

No. I have absolutely no reason to think that you didn't. I responded to a post (||>>4298821||) that began with "this", without responding to another post or providing a picture. Then (apparently) another anon responded to your post and said "they" forgot the pic. Oops.

So, what exactly were you talking about if not Sriracha?

>> No.4298841

||>>4298835||
>This thread is worse than Hitler

I've completely forgotten about what this post was originally about.

>In other words, what you said.

>> No.4298887

>>4298595

This thread is about what pisses you off in modern culinary arts. I believe OP is referring to "modern cuisine", rather than overall "culinary arts".

Nothing really pisses me off in cooking and cuisine.

>> No.4298892
File: 1002 KB, 5000x3886, tailsokay.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4298892

Plates with high edges when it has food I have to cut with a knife

>> No.4298921

One thing the eye likes is curves. In garden landscaping curves are always pushed. The eyes find curves inviting.
So for presentation circular plates look good.

However square plates with visible corners communicate an element of danger so some dishes suit that better.

Lastly if you've got something like roasted pork and sticky rice in a banana leaf. Sometimes it's just easier to handle this stuff on a square plate where it's easier to keep track of where the edges are.
It's just functional, round plates for stuff like this is like serving dolmas with a knife and fork.

>> No.4298920

>plates with low edges when the food has a lot of thin sauce / broth

>> No.4298941

>>4298921

I don't like curves, they repel me, in fact.

>> No.4298944

>>4298941
Not everything is about women Sceak.
Obviously you like straight long roddish type of geometric shapes.

>> No.4298954

>>4298944

I just like squares and cubes. Some people like triangles, other people live curves, some people like tetrahedrons. I also like tetrahedrons.

>> No.4298966

>>4298954
And some guys like cocks up their asses and prefer food art and paying lots of money to be... fashionable. Aren't you one of those?

>> No.4298986

Why do I hate Sceak so much? It just twists my stomach whenever he posts.

I hate you. I hate you.

>> No.4298991

>>4298986
You know deep down it would be a sadder place without him.

>> No.4298994

>>4298986

>Why do I hate Sceak so much? It just twists my stomach whenever he posts.

i used to. now i hide all the tripcodes. i still see the posts, but since they're all anonymous, i don't even notice until someone like you posts their name.

if you use the inline extension, you should try this custom CSS:

http://pastebin.com/6AenPt3T

>> No.4299002

>>4298655
>>4298655

You're both stupid for using your sexual preference as an argument in a hypothetical situation.
I agree with the fag though, if a dish smells and looks like shit, you can be sure most people would pass on that. But to be fair, it would make you look like a picky manchild.

>> No.4299003

>>4298994
yeah, i have a few scripts you should run...
nope
easier to ignore the tripfag and the ragefag than to instal your malware. thanks anyways.

>> No.4299031

I don't like square plates.

Sauce gets stuck in the corners and I look like some sort of starving feral beast trying to wiggle the edge of my spoon into it to get it out.

>> No.4299034

>>4299003

>yeah, i have a few scripts you should run...
>nope
>easier to ignore the tripfag and the ragefag than to instal your malware. thanks anyways.

understandable. maybe someone familiar with CSS could look at the code and voice their opinion. i don't know CSS, but i don't think it can be malware, since it just controls the display of the page.

>> No.4299174

I've mentioned before that my old restaurant used huge triangular plates. It was so retarded it hurt.

>> No.4299181

Plates which are entirely smooth curves with no lip and no sharp changes in gradients.

Tip the plate slightly and all the foods going to spill off.

>> No.4299182

Are you an unimaginative fuckwit with only the most basic culinary ability? Do you want to impress friends, family, and other fat-walleted plebeians? TRY RISOTTO TODAY!

Got ingredients that don't go together at all, but you need to make them sound fancy? Risotto!

Do they have a weird texture that's too unique for your simple mind to utilize for actual culinary effect? Puree that shit and throw it in a risotto!

Its really the universal super food!

>> No.4299190

>>4299182
I've never gotten into risotto myself but I think a good one would start with home made stock, that and you're a homo that knows nothing.
Maybe your mother is a shit cook, just that one day she forgets your Mc Donalds allowance.

>> No.4299192

>>4299182

I get what you're saying. A well-made risotto is delicious, but it seems like a lot of restaurants like to make novelty versions that are just plain awful.

>> No.4299193

>implying these plates haven't been used for decades in the culinary industry
>implying egg white clean plates are not eye catching

>> No.4299202

>>4298595
>>4298670
>>4298770
>>4299181

If you cannot make memorable food, serve it on memorable plates.

>> No.4299201
File: 74 KB, 541x566, duck.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4299201

Dear Sceak:

We don't have tripfags and we really don't want them. We're probably the last board on 4chan that's been able to hold out against the cancer of tripfagging, and you're not going to ruin this for us. Now please either post anonymously or GTFO, thank you.

>> No.4299203

>plates with a glaze that gets 'squeaky clean' when washing

One of my most hated noises, next to expanded polystyrene packaging rubbing against each other. Just imagine that sound now.

Also, you need to breath. In. Out. In. Out.

>> No.4299210

These fucking hypes lately. First it was making foam out of everything. Then every dish had a 'crumble'. Now every top restaurant has their own vegetable garden and they have to show it off in every course.

>> No.4299223

>>4298668
it's not modern but it's become "in vogue" and people think it's some sort of high-class delicacy when it's literally gruel peasants eat.

>> No.4299225

>>4299223
He meant polenta hasn't been en vogue since the 90's.

>> No.4299240

>>4298595
But how do you know if they use square plates until it's too late? Or do you just walk out when they serve you your food?

>> No.4299259

>>4299240
I simply ask over the phone when making my initial reservation.

>> No.4299274
File: 46 KB, 313x233, Skidmark Plating.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4299274

Getting back to the theme of the thread. One of the things I hate is that messy dusting of parsley that people put aroudn the plate rather than on the food. It really drives me spare. But worse still is the fashion for painting a skid mark on the plate, which looks like the chef is a baboon that drags its arse along the plate prior to plating.

Here's an example with the blogger's intuitive comment:

Looks like bananas and a skidmark (plus bonus poo) to me, but what do I know?

>> No.4299278

>>4298659
I have just returned to /ck/ after many months of absence, and much to my disappointment, I find that Sceak still posts here.

>> No.4299281

>>4299203
Huh. I actually love plates like that, because they're less likely to make that "ceramic" noise when being scraped with a utensil while dining. THAT noise makes me physically nauseous. I'll never understand why.

>> No.4299282

Throwing parsley on anything annoys the shit out of me.

And
Fucking cake pops can rot in hell. They're disgusting.

>> No.4299287

>Hurr organic and free range
Real organic stuff grown locally on smallscale farms is great.

But that's not what the stuff in supermarkets is. You're paying more money for food produced by megafarms that perform to the letter of the law (but not the spirit). Just because the chickens aren't battery farmed doesn't mean they get a huge field to run around in, and just because you're not spraying chemicals doesn't mean you're not fucking up the environment through bad farming practice.

>> No.4299349

>>4299287
But you sure like to pretend that all of them are just how you say it.

>> No.4299357

>>4299278

I know this feel, anon. Sceak is the worst tripfag to ever trip on /ck/. But I've learned to think about it this way: at least he has his name attached to every stupid, ignorant, outright incorrect, or self-absorbed shitpost he posts. If he started posting anon, people might make the mistake of taking him seriously.

>> No.4300036
File: 211 KB, 1024x842, bistro-1024x842.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4300036

>>4298595

Speaking of square plates, I incidentally found these.

>> No.4300274

>>4298606
This shit. Every nice restaurant if fucking falling all over themselves to put bland corn paste next to everything they fucking serve.

>> No.4300280

Also, every casual place is fucking cramming avocado in any hole it will fit. I cant order a fucking burger without someone trying to stuff it with avocado.

>> No.4300286

>>4298666

Tell me more about this femme for femme

>> No.4300294

>>4300036
10/10 Would buy

>> No.4300298

>>4300280
THIS.
I mean, I truly love avocado. I can practically eat my weight in good guacamole. BUT, there's no fucking reason to shove avocado on every goddamn thing. Sandwiches, burgers, appetizers, breakfasts, garnishing soup with it, fucking fuck fuck!!!!

>> No.4300300

Honestly, switched to square plates because I eat huge portions and need two plates side by side.