/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.4176907]

Bachelor Confessions.

Sometimes, when I'm down to just crumbs, I pour some salsa into a bowl and dumb the crumbs on top and eat the whole mess with a spoon..like cereal.

[Anonymous No.4176933]

I did this today...but with ketchup. What the fuck happened to my life

[Anonymous No.4176940]

i drink warm stale leftover beer in the morning after i drink.

[Anonymous No.4176948]

>>4176907
my boyfriend does this in front of me, unashamed

[Anonymous No.4176949]

>>4176940
Nothin wrong with that

[Anonymous No.4176950]

i found a pack of Virgina Slims in a parking lot and smoked three at the same time

[Anonymous No.4176956]

i just started on that "god-tier cum" supplement regiment. soy lecithin, l-arginine, zinc, and a buttload of celery. oh god i'm swallowing like, 12+ pills a day. have yet to test results. no side effects (yet) but it just feels weird swallowing all dat.

[Anonymous No.4176957]

It's called a "walking taco" which is an awful name and it's usually served to schoolchildren but it is a thing

[Anonymous No.4176959]

>>4176956
Why would you want more cum? Do you intend to drown some poor unsuspecting girl in your seed?

[Anonymous No.4176964]

>>4176959
that is literally exactly what i plan to do

[Anonymous No.4176973]

>>4176956
I doubt it works but if it did I would totally do it. Even if I didn't have a gf I would love to cum buckets. I used to not jack it for a week just to have a huge load.

I think growing up watching cumshots and later bukkakes gave me a cum fixation.

[Anonymous No.4176985]

That's not bachelor-tier, that's just sensible.

When you're finishing up a tray of cookies and you're down to the last couple of slots, fill the other slots with milk and dunk the the cookies into it.

[Anonymous No.4177000]

>>4176964
Fair enough

[Anonymous No.4177003]

>>4176985
or you could just, ya know, put the milk into a glass -- like a human being.

that way to dont have to awkwardly try to drink milk from an oddly shaped flimsy plastic container when you're done with your cookies

[Anonymous No.4177026]

>>4176907

[Anonymous No.4177155]

>>4177003
>lel

[Anonymous No.4177163]

>>4176956
i did this for a few months and my volume increased significantly, keep it up

(no pygeum?)

[Anonymous No.4177198]

>>4177003
What a terrible idea. If you're not going to contribute, don't bother posting.

[Anonymous No.4177482]

>>4177163
what is pygeum?
i'm intrigued.

[Anonymous No.4177488]

Me always

[Anonymous No.4177492]

>>4177482
use google, it's for increase semen volume

[Anonymous No.4177495]

>>4177482
and if you don't produce precum or don't produce much, it'll increase that by a bunch

[Anonymous No.4177530]

When no other alternative means exist, things headed for the trash or sink get licked "clean" first. I use quotation marks because it's not a cleaning method. I simply eat things that are too delicious to let go to waste. Sauces, juices, bits of seasoning, runny egg yolk, etc. on my plate are getting some one-on-one time with my face as I walk to the sink.

[Anonymous No.4177552]

>>4176956
Can you link me to an outline for this? I need to share it with someone.

[Anonymous No.4177731]

>>4177552
pic related is the basic idea

this forum has some interesting information.
http://www.pegym.com/forums/gym/7227-increasing-my-ejaculate.html#post58284
ultimately, i would suggest doing your own research

[Anonymous No.4177747]

When I'm too lazy to wash dishes, I.. mix a couple eggs + milk + salt in a cup, and nuke it. scrambled eggs :(

[Anonymous No.4177756]

>>4177747
If done correctly, this actually makes better scrambled eggs than 99% of people can manage in a pan. The trick is to get it 3/4 of the way there, take it out and vigorously chop up the curds into the remaining uncooked egg mixture. Then pop it in for another 6-8 seconds, remove and repeat. You stop when there's a trace of moisture still coating the curds.

With a little practice you get set but moist, small individual curds instead of an ugly toasted mass. Taste tends to suck but at least the texture is right.

[Anonymous No.4177818]

>>4177731
Any more info? My dick is hard with the thought of cumming in my girlfriend

[Anonymous No.4177841]

>>4177818
I'm not the guy that posted the other thing, but this is the version I've seen around. Goes into a bit of detail.

[Anonymous No.4177872]

Continuing Bachelor confessions:

Sometimes I neglect pouring out the fat from the pan after cooking bacon. It solidifies.

Then I come back the next day and use the fat as the oil for my next cook.

[Anonymous No.4177907]

>>4176956
>>4176959
>>4176964

I love 4chan

[Anonymous No.4177922]

>>4177818
I for fuck's sake. What is it about posting anonymously that makes you think we want to be privy to your 16 year old school boy sex talk? Seriously, I mad now. Makes me fucking cringe and shit, yo.

[Anonymous No.4177924]

>>4177872
If your house is not filled with flying vermin there's nothing wrong with that. The animal fat from the bacon stays pretty good for a little while.

[Anonymous No.4177947]

>>4177872

They already do this in the South.

[Anonymous No.4177974]

I can't be bothered to cook most of the time, so I buy pre-cut vegetables and simply blend protein shakes with my daily allotment of vegetables.

[Anonymous No.4178416]

>>4177947
Most of us actually pour it into a mason jar and put it into the fridge rather than letting it sit in the pan.

[Anonymous No.4178476]

I usually just make mac and cheese w/ hotdogs and eggs and just throw everything into the same pan i cooked it with and chop it up together and eat it. i also do this with ramen and cheap lunchmeat sandwhiches that i also chop and mix with the ramen stew thats left. very lazy, but tastes great and saves time and money

[anonymous No.4178712]

One piece of microwaved cheese toast after a goddamned nother.

[Anonymous No.4178939]

I eat most of my meals directly in the very same saucepan I use to do the cooking. Preferably with a spoon. And sometimes I wonder upon the uses of glasses in my cupboard since I don't use them.
All that so I have less dishwashing to do.

[Anonymous No.4178944]

>>4178939

Although not very classy, eating directly from the saucepan is disturbingly satisfying. As is eating with your hands. I'm not talking about things like fries, but things you would eat normally with a spoon like rice or cooked vegetables. I discovered this through my girlfriend, who is indian, as for some reason I feel in so much closer contact with the food I'm eating. I guess touching your food triggers some sort of primigenial instinct in us.

[Anonymous No.4178951]

>>4178944
>indian gf eats with hands like she would in india
>she wipes her ass with her hands for the same reason
jajajaja

[Anonymous No.4178954]

>>4178951

That's why they eat with the right hand and wipe their ass with the left hand.

Also:
>Irritating your anus with scratchy paper
>Not using your smooth fingers
>shiggy diggy

[Anonymous No.4178955]

>scratchy paper
Stop stealing toilet paper from the park then.

[Anonymous No.4179137]

>>4178955
bachelor confession: once i was locked out of my apartment and had to walk all the way to the local park to take a dump. that bathroom was abysmal. concrete and spiderwebs. crude toilet paper. my stall wall had a glory hole. had to get of my neighbors to stick her skinny arms through my mail slot to unlock my door.

[Anonymous No.4179175]

I sometimes have my breakfast while I'm on the toilet taking a shit.

[Anonymous No.4181235]

>>4178955
>Reply
I want this book. Every outlet I've looked at so far is out of stock. Help me find a copy, please.

[Anonymous No.4181329]

i make oatmeal in a bowl everyday
instead of washing it, i just cover it and the next day i just mix the oat-stucco with the next bowl of breakfast

i use frozen pizza boxes as a plate...and then reuse the box as a plate for my next meal as well

drink beer in the shower

[Anonymous No.4181382]

>>4177731
wait 10ml is considered alot? isn't that only 2 teaspoons or 1/2 a normal medicine cup.
I can do that every other day without a problem.

[Anonymous No.4181399]

>>4181329
Showers are the best part of my day.

>Play soft music
>Fill up the bathtub a little bit
>Put my 3DS in a plastic bag
>Turn on the shower as I'm sitting in the tub
>Have a little stool holding my beer right beside me
>Best wash

Water bill is high tho

[Anonymous No.4181410]

>>4179175
Nothing wrong with that... That is time conserving, JUST WHAT THIS COMPANY NEEDS.

[Anonymous No.4181419]

>use the same cup for days
>use the same plate for days
>use the same fork for days
>use the same bowl for days

[Anonymous No.4181434]

If I'm cooking alone most of the time I don't bother to get a plate. I just eat everything straight out of the pots or pans I'm using.

Fuck your rules

[Anonymous No.4181443]

>>4181399
>Showers are the best part of my day.
lol, forgot i also would eat oatmeal in the shower too. hot oatmeal in a hot shower, ha.

that was usually only when my morning routine got fucked, id usually
>wake up
>beat off
>go2kitchen
>make pizza, put in oven to cook
>put water to boil
>go2bathroom
>1 minute shit
>9 minute shower
>go2kitchen in towel
>mix hotwater + oatmeal + skittles
>go2room wit oatmeal
>eat + get dressed
>go2kitchen
>take pizza out oven to cool
>go2outside, load bike + start/ car
>go back in and and load bag + food into car
> drive while eating

routineeeeeeeeeeefficiency

[Anonymous No.4181446]

>>4181443
>>eat + get dressed
eat while getting dressed*
>bite food
>put on pants
>bite
>put on belt
>bite
>grab socks
>bite
>put on socks
...

[Anonymous No.4181450]

Showers are the best part of the day when they are after you get home from work and include a shower beer or two.
drinking literally any ice cold beer in a steaming hot shower at the end of a busy day is the best feeling in the world.

[Anonymous No.4181459]

Plebs, my morning shower routine.
>Presoak hair while it is heating up (Yeah its cold, i'm not a bitch)
>Apply shampoo and lather
>Begin brushing my teeth with pre-prepared toothbrush
>Engage in urination
>Simultaneously finish with my morning piss, brushing teeth and shampoo application

[Anonymous No.4181461]

>>4181434
kind of risk burning yourself dont' you?

I eat most everything out of bowls though. Much easier given that I almost always eat in front of my computer or the tv

[Anonymous No.4181465]

>>4181419
nothing wrong with that as long as you rinse it off
>>4181446
>>4181443
>eating whilst trying to multitask
jesus christ how horrifying. i hate to do that

[Anonymous No.4181502]

>>4176907
i totally just did this with salsa i stole from work, garlic, and some trader joes habero.
laid the crumbs out on a plate, covered with salsa, and ate the fuck out of them with a fork.

call me sally. but im drunk enough not to give a fuck

[Anonymous No.4181506]

>>4181502
habanero

[Anonymous No.4181513]

>>4181399
>>Put my 3DS in a plastic bag
that can't be safe

[Anonymous No.4181542]

One time, my friend brought me a pineapple, and I didn't have any clean knives, so I ate it naked in the shower using my decorative bastard sword, just letting the juices cascade down my body as I wrenched the fruit flesh from the blade. I think I might have cried it was so good.

[Anonymous No.4181580]

I do that too, OP.

Also,
>Drinking pickle juice/brine.

[Anonymous No.4181582]

Brush my teeth in the shower.

[help me figure out making pizza No.4181598]

>>4181542
thatd be a great meal, i think im gonna get a pineapple next time i have a girl over

[Anonymous No.4181613]

>>4181598
>i think im gonna get a pineapple next time i have a girl over

youre not fooling anyone faggot

[Anonymous No.4181641]

>>4179137
thought you were gonna say you had to stick her skinny arm through the glory hole to fill it

[Anonymous No.4181642]

>>4181582
I brush my teeth in the shower, and leave my toothbrush in the shower until the next time I brush my teeth because I don't want to make puddles.

if I'm cooking something that isn't sticky, I'll just wipe down the pot/pan with a paper towel.

[Anonymous No.4181645]

>>4181443
wait you have candy oatmeal AND a pizza every morning for breakfast?

What are you like 400 lbs?

[Anonymous No.4181646]

>>4179137
did you hover? when I have to shit in a shady toilet, I give my thighs a workout and hover.

[Anonymous No.4181647]

>>4181645
Must be bulkin'

[Anonymous No.4181667]

>>4181645
>wait you have candy oatmeal AND a pizza every morning for breakfast?
>What are you like 400 lbs?
2pizzas, 3 if i can
I work labor, im usually hungry by noon if i dont snack on nuts n bread all morning as well
also a little bit of fast food after work
and then i ride my bike a couple hours
2 or 3 bean cheese rice burritos for dinner

Im 5'9 stuck under 160...
165 if im lifting for at least 6 mo straight

[Anonymous No.4181674]

> olives
> take a little of the juice into my mouth and eat one olive with it
> dat flavour enhancement

> sat down and ate a whole cookie dough to myself one day

> mum being a cunt
> walk to pizza joint at a shopping centre nearby
> buy a small pizza for myself for dinner
> buy cookie dough for desert
> felt dirty, threw away most of the dough

amazingly, i'm in great physical shape

[Anonymous No.4182466]

>>4181329
>drinking beer in the shower

its the best thing ever

[Anonymous No.4182879]

Blended 2 cheese burgers with fries and ketchup into a paste and ate it with a spoon.