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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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4040474 No.4040474 [Reply] [Original]

>yfw been constipated since thanksgiving

>> No.4040477

Drink tea, you tard.

>> No.4040485

eat some prunes.
Take some fiber pills
and drink lots of water and tea.

and if that doesn't work, you're probably impacted and are going to have to take a stool softener to get it to come out.

>> No.4040486

Fuck it.
Just explode.
If you can't figure out how to shit by now you'll never learn.

>> No.4040509
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4040509

Hot sauce bro

>> No.4040517
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4040517

>>4040474
Prepare for the analpocalypse.

>> No.4040523

>>4040517

Oh god damn... I hope I'm not in for that. I think it's these fucking meds I was recently prescribed to

>> No.4040529
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4040529

>>4040517

>> No.4040560
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4040560

>>4040517
I don't know whether to laugh or scream. Poor guy.

>> No.4040574

>>4040485
>Take some fiber pills

Don't do that. Fiber supplements will just make you more constipated. Take a mild laxative, like prunes.

>> No.4040576

Give yourself an enema. Now. No joke.

>> No.4040581

>>4040474
I once went two and a half weeks without pooping.

Hell I haven't pooped for about 4 days.

You'll be fine.

>> No.4040583

>>4040576

How do

>> No.4040588

i had gastric bypass so every now and then i'll get plugged just from too much cheese or breads in my diet.

i manned up and bought a bottle of milk of magnesia for when it happens. when it does, i down a shotglass full and clear out my schedule for the rest of the day. works like a charm.

>> No.4040590

>>4040583
I would rather recommend you go to the doc so you don't fuck up. Knew a dude who tried it and accidentally lost a cigar tube up his ass. Don't feel embarrassed if you go. Happens more than u think

>> No.4040608
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4040608

>>4040583
Do you know anyone with a bidet? If you do, go sit on one and let it spray up into your outer colon.

Not only will it start to get things flowing, but it can also help break up the massive dry turd so it comes out in gloopy chunks instead a of a freeway core sample.

>> No.4040614

Just keep eating, pressure will built up and it will all just poop out.

>> No.4040623
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4040623

>>4040517
DID SUM1 SAY CONSTIPATION STORIES?

>> No.4040675
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4040675

>>4040623
This is the most awful thing I've ever read in my life

And I've spent a long time on 4chan

>> No.4040703

>>4040623
>some one just posted a picture of a dog without saying anything
lol'd

>> No.4040744
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4040744

Go to the store and buy this, it's called Magnesium Citrate, it will only cost about two bucks. Drink the whole fucking bottle as quickly as you can without throwing up (tastes like carbonated lemon juice and salt) chase with a glass of water.
wait about 30 minutes and you will be thanking me...8 hours from now you will be cursing me. 12 hours from now you will be gently weeping to the gods you pray to that your stomach has finally ended this horrid curse.

>> No.4040809

>>4040744
WHY for the love of god would you tell him to drink the whole bottle??? No. Drink no more than half. Half will work just fine and you won't risk poisoning.

>> No.4040815

get some youngevity tangy tangerine, you will be shiting 3 times a day

>> No.4040840

>>4040744
I just searched the google for magnesium citrate and found this story

http://www.poopreport.com/Consumer/magnesium_citrate.html

Worth a read if you're childish like me and think poo story's are funny.

>> No.4042196

>tfw explosive diharrea today
It hurts. Literally it hurts to shit. It feels like molten rock is slowing scraping against my rectum.

I want it to end.