/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.4018393]

>mom wants to make a cauliflower soup and invites me over
>when i'm there she says she doesn't have the time to make it and i'm going to have to make it
>she doesn't have 60% of the ingredients but wants me to take over
>she has already ignored the first 3 steps in the recipe and done her own thing when I take over
>i finish it, it tastes like nothing
>"I thought you could cook anon!"

Masterchef family general?

[Anonymous No.4018397]

>>4018393
Parents are stupid. It's a good thing, too, or we might not be here. Think about that a moment and let it sink in.

Who in their right mind would have a god damn child?

[Anonymous No.4018401]

My mom makes the best white chicken chili I have ever tasted.
Does this relate?

[Anonymous No.4018402]

>>4018397
niggers and spics. welcome to the new America

[Anonymous No.4018404]

No one in my family can cook. I grew up on pre-made dinners and McDonalds.

[Anonymous No.4018410]

my bro calls me all the time with cooking issues. "I'm making a lasagna... what order do i put the stuff in? Wait, Ricotta? I got marscapone..." fucking every time...

[Anonymous No.4018412]

>>4018410
to clarify, i told him the marscapone would work, but he'd want to mix in some fresh basil. surprisingly, ha had that on hand,

[Anonymous No.4018423]

Something similar happens ever so often
>friend likes to invite people over for dinner
>he sets a date and says that's going to be epic food
>the day the dinner is going to be i ask him what he had planned to cook up
>he says he doesn't know when there's 3h left until people arrive
>i have to come up with a nice dinner, help him shop and then make it

Everytime

[Anonymous No.4018428]

>>4018423
I had a friend like this. Keyword: had

What is wrong with people? I don't get it.

[Anonymous No.4018431]

>living at home
>mom's job is stressful so I buy groceries, do yardwork, clean the house, and cook for her
>one of the reasons she gets stressed out so easily is because she's a control freak and is OCD
>I try to get her to relax when she comes home but she hovers when I cook, pointing out everything I'm doing wrong and having a fit when I use an ingredient she's not familiar with, occasionally ripping utensils/bowls/food straight out of my hands and trying to do it herself
>at least she never complains about the taste

[Anonymous No.4018447]

>>4018431
My mom's like that except she complains about the taste, or rather she complains that things taste of something.

[Anonymous No.4018458]

>>4018428
They 'know' that you'll bail them out. They want to fix a nice meal, they just don't have to put any work into it themselves.
Then again, this friend can't plan for shit, so it could also be that.

[Anonymous No.4018476]

I was in graduate in Maine, and one of my roomates had recently hiked the Appalachian Trail, so she was into the community. Near the end of the summers she would let a person or two stay at the house who had just finished the trail.

First time this happened she was unprepared food-wise, and made the guy "coleslaw" which was grated raw cabbage and mayo. Made right when he got there...no time to soak with some vinegar or anything. I mean, fuck, she could've at least order the guy a pizza.

[Anonymous No.4018488]

one of my single friends just bought a house and we all chippe din a few bucks and got him a breadmachine. he's a nutrition/workout buff so we figured he'd enjoy homemade bread without much effort. turns out it's the best gift he's ever gotten. to our dismay. he's always trying out new recipes, usually this involves a bread machine mix and whatever the fuck he's got lying around. last time it was garlic parmesan basil. instead of garlic powder, he used garlic salt. so it was more like... saltlick with cheese. and heaven help us if we dont eat all the bread while we're there at his house, he wraps it in plastic and thuds it on the table in front of one of us arbitrarily, usually whoever was most enthusiastic about liking it out of politeness. fml.

[Anonymous No.4018491]

>>4018402
so which are you . or are you just a fag ?

[Anonymous No.4018507]

>>4018488

that sounds terrible. I make home made bread all the time. My friend that comes over is always happy to get a loaf from me. I've even taken to setting aside some of my chili for him to take home.

So glad he's not lying to make me feel good about my food. I know this because he asks for seconds or specific breads. And I've asked him to tell me if ever it isn't good. I'll even criticize my own food and discuss the different flavors with him.

Surprisingly enough he's much less critical than I am. I guess I am a perfectionist when it comes to food though.

[Anonymous No.4018528]

>>4018431
She is OCD?!?!!? You are telling me she's the living avatar of the disorder that plagues everyone with it? She's the omnipotent voice that whispers in their head the False but real consequences of insignificant actions? Tormenting their very being daily for the rest of their lives? Jesus christ how awful. you need to stop her somehow!

[Anonymous No.4018574]

>>4018528
>Autism

[Anonymous No.4018575]

>mom cooks for me all my life
>suddenly gets lazy
>make a sweet meal for myself
>asks for a bite
>now I always cook

Can't wait to move out

[Anonymous No.4018660]

>follow a recipe
>get hailed as the greatest cook in the universe

god I hate that

[Anonymous No.4019045]

>>4018660
>fry off some pre-packaged food
>"wow this is really good!"

Also, stuff like this
>make a proper carbonara
>"this doesn't taste good at all"
>make lazy student food, what they call "carbonara" (melted cheese, cream and breakfast ham mixed with the pasta)
>"wow, this is great! you should become a chef!"

[Anonymous No.4019087]

>>4018660
seriously, same feel here.

maybe they flatter us so they can leech on us

[Anonymous No.4019088]

>>4018660

some people can't cook from recipes no matter how hard they try.

you probably have some talent.

[Anonymous No.4019092]

>Making food of any kind
>I usually do the cooking at home
>Mom comes in a dumps a handfull of redpepper flakes an basil in the pot
>FUCK YOU BITCH JUST BECAUSE THOSE "COOKS" ON THE FOOD NETWORK ADD THAT DISGUSTING SPICE TO EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN DOES NOT MEAN YOU NEED TO!!!!!
>Dish ends up tasting like a spicy basil diarrhea fest
>"anon you made this too spice, also too much basil"
You bitch.

[Anonymous No.4019103]

>mom likes to cook meatless everything
>makes some fake chicken patties
>makes it out of oatmeal and hardly anything else
>no meat flavoring
>I saw her making it
>"This is gonna taste horrible, mom"
>it tasted horrible
>"eat it with the ketchup, anon"
>it tasted worse
>"Lol, you wouldn't have noticed it wasn't meat if you didn't see the ingredients beforehand"
>nobody else seems to care
>she now thinks I'm just a picky eater

I can't cook my own food either. Everyone else will then eat all my food before mom's.

[Anonymous No.4019115]

>>4019088
>cooking
>from recipes
>implying it's not simply following a set of instructions to their conclusion
If you can't follow instructions, there is most definitely something the matter with you. Get the fuck out, please and thank you.

[Anonymous No.4019118]

>>4019103
>>mom likes to cook meatless everything

Oh god, this reminds me of that vegan lasagna my mom made.
>no meat
>no cheese

[Anonymous No.4019132]

>>4018393
>get an Associates of Culinary Arts at community college
>Mom: ANON THAT MUST MEAN YOU CAN COOK EVERYTHING
>she always asks for me to help
>I completely don't mind, like helping
>she chops raw chicken on a cutting board
>proceeds to start chopping veggies on the same board
>"wtf mom stop, just flip the board over if you really don't feel like washing it"
>"OH YOU'RE SUCH A GERMAPHOBE WE DIDN'T SEND YOU TO SCHOOL TO NAG US TO DEATH"
>chops veggies on board, with same raw chicken knife
>touches handles, utensils, cabinets with raw chicken hands
>mfw it's a salad

I just don't get it. That's such a basic thing.

>inb4 lololcommunitycollege, I have zero student debt to my name.

[Anonymous No.4019409]

>>4019045
hard to ague with tastebuds programmed though 20 years to react to msg and salt.

[Anonymous No.4019412]

>>4019118
at least it want' gluten and dairy free.
I don't mind friends with allergies, but man they just keep trying to cook "normal" food with shoddy ingredients instead of making something appropriate for the ingredients at hand.

[Anonymous No.4019451]

>mother is greatest cook in the world
>hates cooking due to some childhood trauma she won't talk about
>be borderline retarded and can't follow recipes
>wanted to go get fast food today
>accidentally left car on overnight
>ham and cheese forever

[Anonymous No.4019467]

>>4019132
For some reason I read that as
>she chops raw onions on a cutting board
And I was like why the fuck would she have to wash the cutting board after cutting onions you stupid faggot.

[Anonymous No.4019478]

>>4019467
...Okay? And you spent the time to type that out? lol

[Anonymous No.4019480]

>>4019451
Let me guess; the buzzer didn't buzz?

[Anonymous No.4019481]

>>4019451
>Your mom was raped while cooking a brown betty one day
>She than has to live with the regret that it spawned you a retarded manchild.
>She wakes up in the morning to see that her son had drained all the power from her car when he left the lights on all night after pretending to be a race car driver
Your poor mother,

[Anonymous No.4019528]

>christmas eve
>step mother making eclairs
>messes up the icing somehow (don't remember)
>pours it down the drain
so that's the story of how my father spent christmas replumbing the kitchen

[Anonymous No.4021139]

put in wheelchair

take to mall

drop off

drive away

the new ice floe

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