/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.3821072]

You get to kill one Food Network/Channel star.

Choose wisely, /ck/.

Pic has never been more related.

[Anonymous No.3821076]

Giadda delorentes.
Death by arugula.

[Anonymous No.3821078]

all of my rage

[Anonymous No.3821081]

Fool, you could no more kill me than stop death itself.

[Anonymous No.3821086]

>>3821081

[Anonymous No.3821091]

I honestly would kill her just so her fucking boring as all hell shows stop plaguing my television.

[Anonymous No.3821090]

i like triple d but he is a bit much i know

[Anonymous No.3821094]

>>3821086

WAT?

[Anonymous No.3821096]

That woman from Barefoot Contessa.

I don't know why

I just really don't like her.

[Anonymous No.3821120]

i want guido ferry to drown in hair gel

[Anonymous No.3821124]

andrew zimmern

[Anonymous No.3821131]

>>3821120

I kinda want to do hookers and blow with him. I think he would be very fun to do hookers and blow with.

[Anonymous No.3821146]

>>3821094
That's money!

[Anonymous No.3821154]

I hate him most of the time, but on the actual show it works

I'd say that Tyler guy, dude gives new meaning to the word smarmy

[Anonymous No.3821166]

That faggot cupcake guy, or nadia G.

Fuck his show and her fake persona.

[Anonymous No.3821171]

I agree OP
Him or the judges of cupcake wars Or the judges from god can't remember the show. The one where you must use all the recipes (not grillmasters)

[Anonymous No.3821180]

>>3821076 ugly jealous female detected
can i get the cunt in my pic guy fieri and anne burell all in the same room with a grenade?

[Anonymous No.3821234]

>>3821180
Anne Burell rules. She's half the reason Mario Batali has such a good ICA record.

Guy.

[Anonymous No.3821243]

>>3821234
Anne seems so damn egotistical to me.

>Yeah, I got my own show. Fuck you!
>Yeah I beat irvine on chopped. Fuck him and you!
>Can't you tell that I'm a master chef and my word is god? Get out of my face you pleb.

That's how I see her.

[Anonymous No.3821250]

Why has no one mentioned Sandra Lee?! God that woman perpetually castrates the culinary world with her damn Betty Crocker cooking.

[Anonymous No.3821266]

>>3821243
that makes her seem more awesome to me, actually. in terms of a Food Network personality, that abrasiveness amuses me.

"Fuck the world, don't ask me for shit. Cause everything you get you got to work hard for it." - Anne Burrell

[Anonymous No.3821275]

>>3821166
But Nadia is funny.

[Anonymous No.3821277]

>>3821078

Go to her site try the cinnamon rolls recipe. If you fuck it up (temperamental dough) its cause you suck. If you get it right you'll at least have a better option of her. The best recipe EVER!

[Anonymous No.3821292]

>>3821171

I don't watch Cupcake Wars, but I've seen the host(???) on his own show. He does magic and he's actually pretty good at it.

Here's an episode he did on food-themed magic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKBgKrVOTS8

[Anonymous No.3821293]

Guy Fieri in the conservatory with a lead pipe

[Anonymous No.3821308]

Hoping on the Guy Fieri hatewagon.

[Anonymous No.3821305]

>>3821072
Guy at least makes his show rather interesting by giving it some personality, that's better than some hosts who can only manage to put me to sleep.

[Anonymous No.3821312]

>>3821305
It's not that he's not a good host, he's definitely good at what he does. But he's a gigantic fucking faggot ass douche in the process.

[Anonymous No.3821317]

>>3821076
giadda
give aids
??
she dies

[Anonymous No.3821323]

>>3821317
I can't stand Giada's personality, I mean, I really really can't abide it. But, she's a good cook. Her recipes are very simple, clean and streamlined, with simple, wholesome flavors. And she's easy on the eyes.

There must be others more deserving of death.

[Anonymous No.3821325]

>>3821323
I just can't fucking stand the way she has to over pronounce EVERYTHING. And how much she moves that goddamn horse mouth of hers when she speaks.

[Anonymous No.3821350]

>>3821323
yep it's her face and mouth
>>3821325
exactly

[Anonymous No.3821392]

Guy's female doppleganger, whatsherface?

Its her hair. I hate her because of her hair.

The 90s called, that shit's old.

[Anonymous No.3821427]

>>3821392

[Anonymous No.3821430]

Agree with OP. Be tempted to murderate Adam Richman though.

[Anonymous No.3821446]

>>3821430
What's so bad about Richman? I think he's perfectly fine for what his shows are.

Personally, I can't stand Conant. Egotistical dickhead who complains about raw onions.

[Anonymous No.3821471]

>>3821446
Oh god, FUCK that guy, dude.

[Anonymous No.3821480]

>>3821325
Then how about AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRONO SANCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ?

[Anonymous No.3821484]

>>3821480
actually made me laugh out loud. Good call.

[Anonymous No.3821533]

>>3821323
Is it just me or does Giada seem so fucking FAKE?

[Anonymous No.3821616]

>>3821180
Could someone caption Rachel Ray's pic with "It's simple We kill the Batman"?

It's kinda necessary at this point.

[Anonymous No.3821725]

Ugh, this one. Incredibly arrogant when judging other people's food, incredibly whiny when cooking herself.

[Anonymous No.3821728]

[Anonymous No.3821740]

>>3821725

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

I hate her with a fiery passion.

[Anonymous No.3821742]

All but Alton and the original cast of iron chef.

[Anonymous No.3821746]

>>3821725
This. She'll completely trash somebody she doesn't like over minor details and when she does like someone she'll ignore glaring flaws.

[Anonymous No.3821749]

>>3821725
>>3821740
>>3821746

>/ck/ can't take criticism

[Anonymous No.3821763]

>>3821742

Can Ted Allen live?


I literally just spent a minute thinking of someone else to save and I couldn't. GG food network.

[Anonymous No.3821768]

>>3821763

Alton, Ted and the beast /diy/ guys from that cupcake wars show. I hate the show but those guys in the plaid shirts are amazing.

[Anonymous No.3821772]

Nadia fuckin' G

[Anonymous No.3821779]

Bobby Flay... His eyes bother me

[Anonymous No.3821785]

>2012
>still hating on Guy Fieri for no legit reasons other than the way he looks and rumors than he is anti-homo

[Anonymous No.3821787]

>>3821166
>not liking nadia G

Have you even made her food? It's fucking good.

[Anonymous No.3821930]

well if i have to choose one.... hypateticaly i would choose
Per Morberg (swedish cooking program)

because he looks fucking evil which is probably the reason he played a major villan in a swedish sope opera..

I mean he just has one of those faces that make you not wanna turn your back on him...

he just looks like he eat babies in his spare time...
and fools blind women to walk in front of oncomming busses..

he is probably perfecly harmless... and kind to animals.. if they dont run away first...
and well he does hunt so just as well if they do run away...

[Anonymous No.3821951]

>>3821772
Nadia Giosia's simple and perhaps somewhat inaccurate version of pasta puttanesca is nonetheless planet Earth's finest. This accomplishment alone justifies her existence and fully pardons her for creating some very annoying shows.

That bitch can cook. Oh my god she can cook. Try some of her recipes.

Pic related, it's hers.

[Anonymous No.3821985]

Alton Brown is the shit, his show was the best thing ever. Learned how to cook tasty stuff and it helped me fall asleep

[Anonymous No.3821995]

>>3821951
Fucking nasty, disgusting, germridden pennies around your food is sickening.

[Anonymous No.3822017]

All of them.
I'm not wasting this chance to rid the culinary world of the cancer that is FN

[Anonymous No.3822023]

>>3821951
that looks amazing, why are you eating your food on a box of coins though?

[Anonymous No.3822026]

Anybody but this guy.
He is the shit!

[Anonymous No.3822033]

>>3821749

I think /ck/ can't take stupidity and inconsistency. She'll bitch for the whole show if a cook does something that isn't how she does things, and suck dick of the person with the biggest sob story.

Absolutely worthless of a judge, and a person.

[Anonymous No.3822037]

no mention of bobby flay? god how /ck/ has fallen.

[Anonymous No.3822039]

>>3822026
Is he even on the Food Network? Thought he stuck with Travel Channel.

[Anonymous No.3822043]

>>3822039
you are correct sir, he's safe from execution

[Anonymous No.3822046]

Isn't anyone else even remotely rustled that this pseudo-trap doesn't even wear dressing on the show?

[Anonymous No.3822050]

sandra lee, a million times I wish she's dead everytime I wake up for a new day

ps: alex has funny facial expressions. in fact, all of the arrogant annoying chopped judges are great because they sound like they think they're kings half the time. I would never hope they die. especially not aa~~r~r~ron

also guy-san is being ironic isn't he? it's an ongoing comedy bit for him to dress like that and say winner dinner chicken money and what have you

[Anonymous No.3822053]

>>3822050

also brian boitano. that dude's fucking boring

[Anonymous No.3822054]

Burrell has an abrasive, and kind of nasty personality. She tries to hide it by being bubbly sometimes but overall I think she's a cunt.

Alex whatever from Chopped is a picky bitch, she has the face of an ugly dog.

Aarrrrron Sanchez is this big 'I'm a Mexican etc beans beans queso fresco' bullshit. He was born in Texas, he needs to climb off his semi high burro.

Conant is a whiny turd. Oh no, raw onions. Even bigger oh no, raw RED onions. Man up dude, you eat some nasty shit from those baskets and raw onions make you cringe.

Alton needs to gain some weight. He's gotten really frighteningly hollow cheeked, his eyes are sunken and because of that, he scares me.

Steingarten has a whiny nasal voice, so he can go as well.

So I guess anyone from this list for now.

[Anonymous No.3822056]

Giada.
Everytime I see her smile with those huge fucking teeth and do that fucking claw motion EVERYTIME something is sweet or crunchy or tangy or whathave you, I think of a raptor. I think she's a raptor and wants to bite my dick off and eviscerate me and cook my innards with shit tier pesto

[Anonymous No.3822069]

>>3822026

Most retarded show ever; Amerifat eats food while Americlaps clap and cheer him on…

[Anonymous No.3822077]

>>3822069

Ok, so I hate to admit this but there is a disproportionate amount of unnecessary clapping in the show and some times...I clap too.

[Anonymous No.3822083]

>>3822069
As an Americlap, the amount of forced clapping and cheering on that show makes me cringe hard.

[Anonymous No.3822084]

Alton Brown. So I can absorb his powers.

[Anonymous No.3822098]

ALL the chopped judges! ALL of my rage!

ctrl+f bobby flay
1 found
HE MUST DIE!

[Anonymous No.3822103]

i covered a few shifts at tex wasabi (one of guy fieri's restaurants) when it first opened. i told him that every time he makes a steak sushi roll, a sushi chef cries

[Anonymous No.3822126]

>>3822046

he only won because of a "salad"
>dats right nukka tossed alton's brown salad

one some shit, his bright red lips are unsettling.

[YES I MAD No.3822146]

So, here it goes:

-Giada: Over pronunciation of Italian foods. Thinks everything she does is authentic. Hate her fake ass smile. Doesn't let her guests add anything to their segment, constantly overrides everyone's opinions. Bobble head ass. ANNOYING AS FUCK.

-Sandra Lee: Disgusting recipes. Don't believe? Look at the comments left on the FN website under her recipes. Horrid 99cent table-scapes that as tacky as they are are still higher in quality than the "food" she produces. Alcoholic using FN money and time to get her drink on. Dat godawful facelift. Complete fail.

-Pioneer Woman: Why is this bitch even there? She just makes leftovers 99% of the time and constantly creams herself when mentioning her redneck husband and family. Isn't even from the country and plays it up. Isn't a fucking pioneer by any sense. Made a disgusting spaghetti, cheese and chicken casserole which looked like babby's first meal. Passionless delivery. Can't stand her.

-Sonny Anderson: Shitty show. Tries to be a cross between Rachel Ray and Paula Deen all while failing miserably. Constantly tries to pass off disgusting, burnt food off as normal. Was caught smoking weed and peeing in public during an after party for Hot 97. Stay classy nigress.

(cont.)...

[YES I MAD No.3822149]

-Ina Garten (BareFAT Cuntessa): Uppity Hamptons snob. Constantly has to talk about "good" olive oil. Thinks her way is the best and only way, despite what her friends want. Makes typical American comfort foods with expensive ingredients to try to pass off as gourmet. Constantly talking about Jeffry, who is clearly cheating on her with her best friend Miguel. Her haircut is obnoxious.

-Emeril Legasse: Talks so much over his food that it has to be filled with spit. Completely disgusting. Thinks being a loud guido will make his food magically taste better.

-Guy Fieri: Do I really need to explain?

-The Nealys: Fucking sick and tired of their sexual cooking, baby this baby that. STFU.

-Rachel Ray: Her food has consistently gotten worse to the point where her "personality" doesn't cut it. Always has a cold or something because her voice sounds raspy as fuck every fucking time. I can always expect shit-tier food from this bitch.

-Cupcake wars: WHY THE FUCK IS THIS EVEN ON? It's always a display of fat hipster lesbian cunts, fags, or soccer moms. All of my hate.

I feel like I am missing some, but yeah.

[Anonymous No.3822152]

>>3822149

why do you even watch so many cooking shows if you hate everyone?

[Anonymous No.3822159]

>>3822152
If he didn't watch them then he'd have to find something else to bitch about.

[Anonymous No.3822160]

>>3822054

I think Alton might have a condition.

It scares me that it might kill him. He's such a good cook and person.

[Anonymous No.3822165]

>>3822152
>>3822159

Honestly, I didn't start hating them immediately. I gave all of these people a decent chance, (2 weeks roughly), but it became a pattern. From time to time flipping channels lands me on FN and one of these is on, rekindling muh hate. I only watch Chopped, Iron Chef and Restaurant Impossible now.

>Chopped judges tend to rustle my jimmies from time to time. I laugh at Ted Allen's desperate desire to be a judge on Chopped, has been adding his 2 cents more often when his opinion clearly doesn't count for shit. I would fuck Zakarian though, not even lying.

[Anonymous No.3822171]

>>3822165
>>3822165

OMG this. Ted Allen is just a foodie wanting to get in on that tasting action. I get so mad when he tries to undermine the judges' opinions. I hate Alex, but I wish she would be a cunt to him for trying to judge.

[Anonymous No.3822177]

>>3822149
HAHHAH Ina Garten makes me go apeshit, i hate her so much, but she cook's good food.

>>3822165

>good god, zakarian is a fucking silver fox, i also would rail him out

[Anonymous No.3822186]

>>3822171
>>3822165

Ted Allen is the fucking host. He fulfills the role of host. He keeps perspective, and he offers information for the benefit of the viewer, or prompts the judges to give information instead to prevent the monotony of one person always lecturing on everything.

I swear to god /ck/ gets so fucking buttmad about the stupidest shit on tv.

[Anonymous No.3822188]

>>3822177
>>3822165

such a sexy man...

[Anonymous No.3822191]

>>3822186

I understand he is the host. But the judges will explain their shit and yet he always has to say something.

> Judge: I thought they overcooked the steak
> TA: Maybe, b-but the plate size they u-used made it look p-pretty!

Fuck him.

[Anonymous No.3822201]

>>3822191

That's the "keeps perspective" part. In the cartoonish scenario you described, they've addressed technique (which is part of the judging criteria), and he prompts them to address presentation (which is also part of the judging criteria).

He's a good host, and you're a dick, determined to hate.

[Anonymous No.3822207]

>>3822201

>hurr i dun agree wif ur ururniurns!!!
>muh ted allen

yeah, i still think he sucks.

[Anonymous No.3822208]

>>3822191
I dunno what show you're watching, but in Chopped, he actually comments rather seldom. He'll point out something about a contender that hasn't already been pointed out like once every five shows, if that.

On a related topic, they always prep four plates of each dish in Chopped, I always just assumed the fourth was for Ted, though no one is ever pictured on camera eating it.

[Anonymous No.3822211]

>>3822208
It's for photographing while they eat (I presume), and for potentially putting under the lid.

[Anonymous No.3822212]

>>3822208
it's for the chopped plate, the dish under the metal thing they lift up (can't remember what it's called) that reveals who is chopped is the fourth plate

[Anonymous No.3822213]

>>3822211
>>3822212
Ah, damn, right.

How did I never realize that? Guess poor Teds sol then.

[Anonymous No.3822256]

Ted's put on some weight since the start of the show. I think laying off the Chopped dished would do good for him.

[Anonymous No.3822277]

>>3822103
You fool! You missed your chance to terminate him!!!

[Anonymous No.3822284]

>>3822160

Didn't he lose a bunch of weight over the last few years? Like, on purpose, not because of a condition or whatever.

[Anonymous No.3822337]

>>3822284

he has the look of someone who starves themselves. When men do this you burn muscle incredibly quickly an get that hollow emaciated look.

bulking then cutting is the only way if your a dude. women can go fullanarexic but when men do it it looks fucking weird as shit.

[Anonymous No.3822357]

>>3822337
gb2 /fit/