/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.20610946]

I grant you 3 food wishes. Only rule is no wishing for more food wishes.

[Anonymous No.20610953]

>>20610946
1: I want all my food to be served by a group of devoted 10/10 big titted big assed mix of latinas, gooks, and whites and one black whose sole purpose and desire in life it is to milk my cock 10-20 times a day and make me feel good
2: A McChicken
3: Another McChicken

[Anonymous No.20610955]

>>20610946
I wish I had 20,000lbs of high grade white truffles
I wish I had an immediate and enthusiastic buyer of said truffles slightly above market value
I wish I had a mushroom swiss burger meal from mc donalds with a large root beer

[Anonymous No.20610970]

>>20610946
I wouldn't wish for anything. I'd let anyone have my wishes, and that's what no one did

[Anonymous No.20610976]

>>20610970
ur gay

[Anonymous No.20610994]

>>20610970
lmfao

[Anonymous No.20611000]

>>20610946
5 guys double bacon cheeseburger, Cajun fries, and a vanilla milkshake

[Anonymous No.20611012]

>>20610946
1: I wish my body would store enough calories for me to get to be at around 10-15% body fat and then stop absorbing calories whenever I eat anything beyond that point
2: I wish for Taco Bell to put quesaritos back on the menu
3: I wish for my fridge to always have a rotisserie chicken in there whenever I open it

[Anonymous No.20611034]

>>20610946
I wish for an apple so tasty that eating it automatically gives you enlightenment simply from how good it tastes
I wish that certain foods could change you in different ways. E.g. if you eat a lot of bananas your dick gets bigger, if you eat a lot of peaches your ass gets bigger, if you eat a lot of ice cream you can shoot rays of frost from your hands, etc.
I wish for a lunch box that magically generates the food that I want at the moment of opening the box.

[Anonymous No.20611038]

>>20611034
>I wish for an apple so tasty that eating it automatically gives you enlightenment simply from how good it tastes
wishing is antithetical to enlightenment

[Anonymous No.20611042]

>>20610946
I wish that chef john would die

[Anonymous No.20611048]

>>20610946
1. I wish alcohol was low calorie and not bad for me
2. I wish the microwave could cook everything to the right standard for the dish so I didn't have to waste time with the oven/air fryer/stove/whatever
3. I wish McDonalds menu prices went back to the 80s or earlier

[Anonymous No.20611062]

I wish I could go back to 2010

[Anonymous No.20611067]

>>20610953
Fpbp

[Anonymous No.20611070]

>>20611042
This, but you instead of him.

[Anonymous No.20611075]

I wish my cock would taste like cotton candy, and my cum tasted like vanilla ice cream, and I wish breast milk had a narcotic effect similar to barbiturates without any of the negative side effects.

[Anonymous No.20611083]

>>20610946
Guy Fieri clone personal chef
Hollandaise sauce on tap
Taco Bell reintroduces those beefy Fritos nacho grillers at their original 99 cent price

[Anonymous No.20611087]

>>20611038
That's why you wish for the apple that just so happens to confer enlightenment. The finger pointing to the moon.

[Anonymous No.20611089]

1. All food becomes Haram no matter what
2. Chicken becomes incredibly sentient and aware of it's true purpose in this world
3. The purple Skittel comes soft like the other colors. I don't know why the purple one is always stale.

[Anonymous No.20611091]

>>20610946
I wish for 100 more wish-granting genies.

[Anonymous No.20611099]

i wish for more food wishes

[Anonymous No.20611110]

>>20611087
your mom

[Anonymous No.20611117]

>>20610946
>i wish for a pizza that gives me unlimited food wishes and can grant any wish as well
>i wish for unlimited pizza
>i wish for carls jr
I hadn’t have any carls in a while

[Anonymous No.20611119]

I wish for a magic apple that grants infinite non-food related wishes!

[Anonymous No.20611136]

I wish for a food-related wish that grants me unlimited apples

[Anonymous No.20611173]

>>20610946
I wish I was a little bit taller.
I wish I was a baller.
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her.

[Anonymous No.20611186]

>>20610946
i wish for free unlimited alcohol and goyslop delivery please.

[Anonymous No.20611194]

>>20611119
Granted, but it only works when you shove it up your ass

[Anonymous No.20611213]

>>20610946
1. Increased food insecurity worldwide
2. Slightly higher percentage of bugs and rat feces in the food supply chain
3. Fungal infection that specifically targets cavendish banana trees

[Anonymous No.20611290]

>>20611194
My second food-related with is I wish I could gain nourishment by shoving food up my ass!

[Anonymous No.20611299]

>>20611038
>t. Some unenlightened nigga
No it isn’t, you just say that cause muh buddha muh 8 fold path
You can’t really know what enlightenment is until you eat the apple

[Anonymous No.20611300]

I wish that my cum could solve world hunger.

[Anonymous No.20611308]

>>20611300
your cum is formed into a sentient cum elemental with an iq of 10 gorillion
he solves world hunger easily with his humungous cum brain

[Anonymous No.20611309]

>>20611308
cool

[Anonymous No.20611327]

>>20610946
i wish to tappa my tappa but not too hard
i wish to shaka shaka when its required
i wish for everything i cook to have a pinch of cayenne

[Anonymous No.20611396]

>>20610953

[Anonymous No.20611411]

I wish that every day a cute redhead 18yo girl would make food for me and suck and fuck me after I call her a good cook and a good girl
I wish for a special bag that always replenishes a homemade doublebaconator burger that tastes better than the wendy's one every time I open the bag
I wish for a popcorn machine that will always make the best popcorn exactly how me and my redhead gf like it so we can watch kinos before having passionate sex

[Anonymous No.20611421]

1. nothing

[Anonymous No.20611429]

onions don't hurt my eyes

garlic never runs out

cooking vegetables doesn't damage their nutrients

[Anonymous No.20611431]

>>20610946
3 wishes involving the most fucked up vore scenarios you can imagine. Surprise me.

[Anonymous No.20611432]

>>20610946
I wish for your freedom, genie!

[Anonymous No.20611440]

>>20610946
Access to a working Star Trek replicator that fits where my microwave would go.
All food has perfect nutrition for the optimal male physique.
Neighbours are all professional chefs who are willing to provide 24 hour advice and assistance in the kitchen.

[Anonymous No.20611460]

>>20611429
The third one is already true anon

[Anonymous No.20611513]

>>20611460
for some things, not all. for example, glucobrassicin, found primarily in cruciferous vegetables and does all kinds of good shit, is pretty much destroyed by cooking. Even just steaming breaks most of it

[Anonymous No.20611518]

iWish all stolen food turns to poison.

[Anonymous No.20611552]

>>20610953
>10/10 big titted big assed mix of latinas, gooks, and whites and one black
Your wish is my command. An army of Britney Venti servant girls coming up.

[Anonymous No.20611557]

>>20611042
You might have your wish soon enough

[Anonymous No.20611641]

>>20610946
I want access to unlimited amounts of food of all kinds and I want to be able to disperse it as I please
>Fuck your shitty /thread/

[Anonymous No.20611657]

>>20610946
I wish to live forever so I have plenty of time to eat lots of good food.
I wish to be rich so I can afford to eat lots of good food.
I wish for a loyal harem of beautiful women so I can eat lots of good pussy.

[Anonymous No.20611998]

>make all food completely flavorless
>make all food extremely bitter
>only apply this to humans

[Anonymous No.20612000]

>>20610946
I wish the /ck/ webm threads get new webms.

[Anonymous No.20612021]

I wish I could drink coffee again and that it had all the benefits with none of the drawbacks, same goes for alcohol
I wish my country had soil which could grow any food from all over the world at 10x the output, maximum deliciousness/nutrition and no effort gardening despite being a Nordic shithole, same goes for the waters and seafood actually, i want infinite access to the best ingredients on the planet
I wish for no negative health effects or excess fat gain no matter what i ate

[Anonymous No.20612046]

>>20611034
>I wish for an apple so tasty that eating it automatically gives you enlightenment simply from how good it tastes
I'm pretty sure last time this happened God banished us from paradise.

[Anonymous No.20612050]

>>20610946
1. I wish that humans evolved an organ to deal with any extra sugar, fat or oil we eat without storing excess
2. I wish to end world hunger
3. I wish that we find a massive collection of seeds from previously extinct fruits and vegetables >>20610946

[Anonymous No.20612081]

>>20610946
I wish for the amount of wishes remaining to be counted on an 8-bit binary number system, including stack overflow as a result of the limited bits.
I wish for 00000011 fewer wishes.
I wish for a McDonalds Chili Chicken.

[Anonymous No.20612104]

>>20611411
dude
1. ur a pedo
2. ur a loser cant wait for you do die

[Anonymous No.20612114]

>>20612104
>She's only 18 years old, you sick fuck

[Anonymous No.20612122]

>>20610946
>Calories from alcohol don't count
>Alcohol doesn't damage the liver, kidney or stomach
>There exists an extremely cheap powdered substance that will instantly convert water to being alcoholic at the rate of 8% per 330ml of water.

[Anonymous No.20612128]

>>20611000
How good is a Guys double bacon cheeseburger? I can't imagine eating 5 of them.

[Anonymous No.20612132]

>>20612122

[Anonymous No.20612134]

>>20612122
Based. Redpilled. Inspired. Touched by God. This poster has vision.

[Anonymous No.20612143]

>>20612132

[Anonymous No.20612171]

Perfect metabolism. No matter what I eat/drink, I remain at 12 - 15% body fat & 26" waist, optimal health, etc (if out of scope, a delicious icecream which gives me aforementioned perfect metabolism forever).
A never ending, always fresh carrot which makes you age backwards for 24 hrs for every bite you eat.
Fuck it, a self cleaning kitchen. That'd be nice.

[Anonymous No.20612849]

>>20610946
1. I wish that women would be able to gain more than 20% body fat when they eat, and that any excess calories would be devoted to their body producing eggs. Every couple extra pounds of body fat would instead be laid as a large delicious nutritious egg. These eggs could be fertilized and taken care of to turn into children (no more pregnancy), but no one is going to care if people eat them or toss them before hatching. The only exception to this is that if a woman hears a baby crying, some of her fat instead turns into breast milk.
2. Same thing but for men with cum. But starts at 15% body fat instead of 20 and no breast milk.
3. There exists a fruit called Peaches of Immortality. They're incredibly finicky and difficult to grow, and rot rapidly. They don't grant any real immortality, but regularly eating them can easily make one live to 140, and even eating small amounts can cure most diseases. They taste very unappealing.

[Anonymous No.20612857]

>>20610946
1. Big Texan threads don't get deleted/banned/moved to /bant/

that is my only wish

[Anonymous No.20612862]

>>20612128
guy fieri makes big burger

[Anonymous No.20612864]

>>20610946
Make me the food emperor of the world so I can rule the world through food you fat sack of genie crap!
And be quick about it too.

[Anonymous No.20612933]

>>20610946
I wish the races of burger king employees and chick fil a employees were swapped

[Anonymous No.20613105]

>>20610946
1. All Halal and Kosher food facilities vanish.
2. All bug/shit recycling "food" facilities vanish.
3. No such places can exist ever again, under any other name or terminology.

[Anonymous No.20613897]

>>20610946
1- the Dr. Peoer/ Cadbury/Schwepes people get their heads out of their asses, and let the Dublin Bottling Co. start making Dublin Dr Pepper again.
2- Starbucks, McDonalds, and Dominos suddenly disappear from the face of the Earth
3- just a Coke

[Anonymous No.20614105]

>>20612122
>8% per 330ml of water.
>percentage per volume

How's that gonna work?

[Anonymous No.20614112]

>>20614105
If you put it in 165mL, it's 4%.
If you put it in 660mL, it's 16%

[Anonymous No.20615066]

>>20610946
1: an inifinte supply of enchanted golden apples (in minecraft)
2: An egg basket that never empties
3: I get a big tiddy mommy type angel that i can milk instead of going to the store and buying pasteurized garbage off the shelf.

[Anonymous No.20615068]

>>20614112
>Put in ocean
>The 1.35*10^21 liters of water turn into pure ethanol and expand by 3,24*10^20 times
>Earth turns into an ethanol ocean with approximately the mass of the galaxy before immediately collapsing into a hypermassive black hole

[Anonymous No.20615069]

>>20615068
yeah just don't do that

[Anonymous No.20615137]

>>20610946
There is an easy way to defeat the "no wishing for more wishes" caveat. You say "I wish whatever I say to come true when I am pulling on my earlobe" (or pinching my finger or whatever other weird gesture you choose). This way you can freely choose to manifest anything to be reality at your discretion without causing problem by just saying things normally.

[Anonymous No.20615139]

>>20615137
>the genie says no and shrinks your dick by 20% for being a smartass
2 wishes left

[Anonymous No.20615152]

>>20615139
Its a genie not a monkeys paw.

[Anonymous No.20615155]

>>20610946
I'd like 25 lbs of the world's best earl grey tea.
A fully decked out fruit and vegetable garden.
And a chicken sandwich

[Anonymous No.20615157]

>>20610946
>I grant you 3 food wishes
I wish you that get to savour my cum three times.

[Anonymous No.20615159]

>>20615152
Hence why it's ignoring your request entirely and fucking with you instead of acting like a monkey's paw. Do you even know what a monkey's paw is?

[Anonymous No.20615367]

>>20613105
>halal facilities vanish
>I buy a chicken and slaughter it, confident it will have a painless death and the meat won't be tough
Atheists btfo
Chickens btfo
Kikes btfo

>No such places can exist ev- ACK!

[Anonymous No.20615385]

>>20615159
Get well soon

[Anonymous No.20615437]

1. Can eat and drink whatever I want without any negative health consequences (including alcohol)
2. I can cook any piece of meat to the exact temp/doneness I want without a thermometer or cutting into it
3. Magic vegetable/fruit garden that has any type of produce I want in unlimited quantities at the perfect ripeness, and the garden requires no upkeep on my part.

[Anonymous No.20615452]

I wish for a food gun that can end a man's life

[Anonymous No.20615474]

>>20615452
What is a food gun

[Anonymous No.20615590]

>>20615474
DINNER! Blaster.

[Anonymous No.20615641]

>>20610946
1. I wish i couldn't die of hunger nor ever feel hungry but I can still eat
2. I wish I couldn't die of thirst nor ever feel thirsty but can still drink
3. I wish I was the perfect weight and stayed that way

[Anonymous No.20615707]

>>20610953
>one black whose sole purpose and desire in life it is to milk my cock 10-20 times a day and make me feel good
Wish granted, this zesty buck's sole purpose is to milk you as you described. A group of 10/10 big titted big assed latinas, gooks, and whites also become your devoted roommates, but they just kind of stand around and scroll their phones and aren't interested.

[Anonymous No.20615713]

>>20615707
Also, it is his SOLE PURPOSE AND DESIRE in life to milk your cock 10-20 times a day by any means necessary. Don't try to resist. When he's done he frolics off and leaves you and your new roommates be.
Enjoy the McChickens.

[Anonymous No.20615869]

1) the calorie content of all cheeses is reduced by 50% by cutting carbs and fat in appropriate proportions, but its taste and texture stays the same
2) all fruit and vegetables taste just like a perfectly ripened fresh-picked heirloom version of themselves, but have the GMO goyslop shelf-stable genes of Walmart garbage-produce and take 3x as long to spoil
3) all existing high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated vegetable oil is destroyed and crumbles into atomized dust, the knowledge of how to make them is forgotten, and the people who sell them have their cocks/clits fall off

[Anonymous No.20615889]

>>20610946
>calories don't count
>free food/grocery delivery
>always get a table at w.e. time slot i want when making reservations

[Anonymous No.20616870]

>>20611042
That's mean, Anon.

[Anonymous No.20617071]

>>20610946
1). I wish to rewrite human evolution to make us herbivores like rabbits, so I could just eat grass for free.
2). I wish to free the genie. I have no more wishes.

[Anonymous No.20617382]

>>20611213
Rude

[Anonymous No.20617445]

1. Big Snake
2. Birthday Cake
3. Large Fries
4. Chocolate Shake!

[Anonymous No.20617459]

>>20611552
Fucking kek'd

[Anonymous No.20617465]

>>20610946
Heiney Ho, Chiny Ho

Mecha-lekka-hie

[Anonymous No.20617473]

>>20612862
Guy Fieri hasn't been in business since 1968. Something is wrong here.

[Anonymous No.20617480]

>>20614105
It's retarded math and he didn't think it through. It shouldn't be exponential like that. Only an alcoholic would make all his wishes booze-based anyway. Clearly he's incapable of thinking clearly enough to do that drunk powder wish correctly.

[Anonymous No.20617523]

>>20617071
Fuck you, and the other isn't a food related wish.

[Anonymous No.20617563]

>>20617071
So you've never found a food you enjoy? You won't miss food? You'd CHOOSE, purposely to eat and enjoy only grass, to save money? I don't believe you.

[Anonymous No.20617595]

>>20617563
Let me guess... you NEED more?

[Anonymous No.20617620]

>>20610946
I wish for all my groceries to be fresh and cheap
I wish for food to never spoil unless it's intentionally composted or disposed of
And finally, I wish for a neverending recipe book that has interesting ideas that I can feasibly pull off any time, curated so they're actually good recipes, and isn't a fucking phone so I don't have to scroll through a million goddamn pages of descriptions deliberately written to make room for ads.

[Anonymous No.20617629]

>>20610946
I wish for 72oz of steak

[Anonymous No.20618146]

>>20610946
I wish everybody who has ever posted on /ck/ has their taste buds relocated to their sigmoid colon.