What are some of /ck/‘s food poisoning horror stories?

[Anonymous No.20601254]

I’m currently shitting and vomiting nonstop since 1am. This is pure fucking hell and I can’t retain fluid, I feel like such a stupid bluegum ape nigger. What should I do?

[Anonymous No.20601258]

>>20601254
I'm very racist but that was unnecessary

[Anonymous No.20601263]

>>20601254
>What should I do?
Wait for that shit to stop happening and drink water when you can manage to. The fuck advice did you expect?

[Anonymous No.20601269]

>>20601254
I spent a week on the toilet after eating lukewarm reheated chicken at a Nepalese restaurant. Vomited so hard it burst the blood vessels in my face and was shitting liquid 30 to 40 times a day with the most foul odour. My arse was in agony from all the wiping, toilet roll was like sandpaper and my boxer shorts smelt so truly awful. I had to cancel my first date in 5 years come the fifth day, we were supposed to be eating Japanese food but I couldn’t really manage anything that wasn’t water.

I’ll now send anything back that isn’t piping hot.

[Anonymous No.20601443]

>>20601254
i've never experienced food poisoning, is it fun?

[Anonymous No.20601451]

>>20601254
Smoke weed.

[Anonymous No.20601461]

>>20601254
Take a few drops of Lugol’s iodine. It will kill whatever bad bug is causing your food poisoning while leaving your healthy gut flora alone. Next I suggest drinking some electrolytes and fluids. Get some stuff called kinderlyte. It’s an electrolyte drink with no artificial colors or preservatives. I like to buy a few at a time and keep some around for sickness or dehydration. You should feel much better the next day. If you smoke weed it helps with stomach pain and cramps.
t. Doctor Chud

[Anonymous No.20601556]

>>20601254
Both times I've ever shit my pants as an adult was due to food poisoning. It's so bad that sometimes you just cough in bed and your ass spews diarrhea.

[Anonymous No.20601569]

>What should I do?
Stop eating meals prepared by others.
Humans are cattle ignorant NPCs and cant do their jobs properly. Its not their fault.
Intelligence is a miracle and miracles are rare.

[Anonymous No.20601579]

>>20601269
chicken is one of those things i'm kind of iffy about ordering (or friends making).

[Anonymous No.20601590]

I have never once had food poisoning. My ex even once got ill from a pork Schnitzel when we were on holiday in Germany: we both had the same thing in the same place and I was perfectly fine.

[Anonymous No.20601600]

When I was in high school my dad and I both got food poisoning the night before Thanksgiving. The culprit was probably expired prepared horseradish since that was the only thing my dad and I ate that was different from the rest of the family. We missed dinner at my grandma's, but my mom made a smaller Thanksgiving dinner after we recovered.

That was the last time I had full-blown food poisoning. A couple years ago I had a chicken sandwich that gave me such bad stomach cramps for days that I would have thought it was my appendix if I hadn't already had mine removed, but no puking/diarrhea.

[Anonymous No.20601626]

>>20601600
>such bad stomach cramps for days that I would have thought it was my appendix if I hadn't already had mine removed, but no puking/diarrhea.
I've had that before, and would've preferred a bout of puking or diarrhea if it meant it would go away faster

[Anonymous No.20601660]

>>20601254
I once ate at a terrible chinese food place in NV called Golden Dragon.

It was the worst slop I had ever ate. Ordered lemon chicken and basically got a boiled chicken breast with lemon pudding on it

got violently ill after

[Anonymous No.20601669]

>>20601254
>sheetz starts selling pizza flatz
>they're easily the best deal on the menu
>get chicken bacon ranch
>salmonela poisoning for three days straight because they don't fucking cook
>spend the first night getting up for water and to use the toilet every other hour
>the only thing I can do that day after calling out of work is barely manage to drag myself to the living room around 2 and spend all day watching gmod horror args and eyeing with disdain all the shitty zoomer-made ones

[Anonymous No.20601814]

>>20601254
Ate at a BJs restaurant, stuffed myself on dinner and got the cookie skillet and ate all of it, woke up the next morning feeling bad with this weird shoulder pain. Then went out to lunch and got a salad with dressing that tasted very off. Felt terrible the rest of the day, spent the night puking my guts out. The hardest I've ever puked, I actually felt like I was suffocating. But then my shoulder pain was instantly gone forever. Still not sure if it was BJs or the salad but it was the first time shoulder pain accompanied foodbourne illness.

[Anonymous No.20601833]

only time I got food poisoning was in high school.
I cant remember what class it was in but i want to say history and the teacher wanted to do a pot luck thing with food from all around the world. were we came from. idk what made me sick but i was barfing and shitting my brains out to this day.
After that experience I absolutely refuse to eat at functions, besides immediate family, that bring dishes in cooked in there homes. Who knows what the fuck their kitchens or hygein is like, fuck that! I work at a place where we have pot lunch, i just use PTO and completely skip that day.

[Anonymous No.20601891]

I never wash my hands or my cutting boards and never get sick

cleanliness makes you weak

[Anonymous No.20601898]

>>20601254
I've been fortunate enough to only get minor food poisoning in my life but my brother got a really bad case in Jamaica after eating chicken at some resort. Had to be hospitalized back home and he lost a ton of weight. His eye sockets were clearly defined due to the amount of weight and fluids he lost.

[Anonymous No.20601932]

>>20601254

BRAT diet: bread, rice, applesauce, and tea. It'll help start settling your stomach with bland foods.

Last time I got viciously ill was when I visited a friend in St. Augustine. I didn't have much to eat that day so I consumed a protein bar from a gas station. Either it was poison or it aggravated something because I spent the rest of that evening and the next day vomiting. By the third day I was fine but very cautious about eating anything at all

[Anonymous No.20602136]

-Boursin herb n' garlic 'cheese': had a good puke or two overnight and the shits through the next day. i didnt eat until i felt well again, which took about 30 hours or so, but even then i was wary- i think i had just sardines or bone broth to start out with.

-home-grown broccoli sprouts: i had the runs for almost a week and i felt like trash. i think i was going piss-butt at least 10x a day and when it was settling down it got down to only a handful of times a day. it took a while before my stools looked 'right' again. i'd say two weeks.

-drank too much blood at once on a near empty stomach (dont ask):
i puked about 14 times that day, and was laying on the cold floor of bathrooms by the toilet and the bedroom just trying to not feel nauseous. had electrolyte tablets to keep me feeling alright and hydrated. felt better enough to eat dinner that evening and i ate a good amount considering.

-drank some kind of reaper hotsauce on an empty stomach before bed because i wanted to kill my appetite instead of eat before bed. and while i have a great tolerance for spice, my body did not agree, and i was rolling in pain in my bed with stomach cramps. and i puked a few times overnight and in the morning. couldn't come in to work, it was that bad.

now im not sure if this was the Boursin incident or the hot sauce incident: but i got up for work for one of those mornings and i was very alarmed at how weak i was and the tunnel vision i had. i had puked at least few times the night before. i could barely lift the dishes in my cabinet. my heart was pounding. my saving-grace was having these hydration tablets on hand that my boss gave me that she got gifted at a work conference. i felt it was the difference between me being alright or me having to go to the ER with how death-y i felt. i called in sick, obviously. for both the Boursin and the hot-sauce.

still to this day, when i see Boursin on the shelves in the grocery store, it gets a middle finger. mentally, if not physically.

[Anonymous No.20602149]

>>20602136
>Boursin herb n' garlic 'cheese'
>drank too much blood at once on a near empty stomach (dont ask)

As a vampire you should know better than to eat garlic flavoured cheese.

[Anonymous No.20602151]

The Gulf in Orange Beach, had a burger and loaded fries. Woke up and had explosive diarrhea and vomiting all morning. Didn’t stop puking until 10am. Only to find out upon reading reviews that they washed roaches off of their food and employed illegal immigrants. Fuck this place, ruined the day I was proposing because I was vomiting my brains out.

[Anonymous No.20602159]

>>20602149
lol vampire or not- i can and do eat garlic bread and Italian food. i'm Italian. too much garlic, especially if its raw can give me migraines. the Boursin was honestly just too old. and i bought it at a reduced price, too. and on top of that, it was in my fridge for a week.

[Anonymous No.20602164]

all the boys including me in my entire 3rd grade class got food poisoning from jack in the box breakfast sandwiches we ate a giant slumber party in the 90s. Of course I was the fatass that ate two so I got the most sick. The parents should have sued when I think back on it.

[Anonymous No.20602210]

>>20601254
once me and a friend got norovirus from what i think was vegetable shortening. i remember waking up at 2am, vomiting my guts out, drinking a bunch of water, and then vomiting it all out in the cup i drank it from. i did this like 2 times. since i was doing this so much, i remember my vomit turning into this slightly green hued water with a bunch of bubbles

[Anonymous No.20602237]

>>20601669
Sheetz gave you the sheets lmao

[Anonymous No.20602511]

>>20602151
sounds terrible, anon. hope you were able to reschedule

[Anonymous No.20602771]

I heard this great advice from a fastfood worker on /ck/ once, if the staff is gathering around smiling and waving and laughing when you drive away, DO NOT EAT THE FOOD.
The one time this happened to me I got sicker than i've ever been from food poisoning. It was close to closing time at a Wendy's and I was the only person in the drive-thru. I'm pretty sure they were cleaning the deep fryer a little early and just cooked the fries in the cleaning fluid. They tasted funny so I threw them out after a few bites but that was enough to fuck me up so bad I lost more liquid than I ever have in my life.
And when I pulled out of the drive-thru I remember they were all gathered round the window waving and laughing and being overly friendly. If that ever happens to you, do not eat it.

[Anonymous No.20602960]

I made a seafood curry and the frozen seafood mix I used was probably contaminated with something. I got sick when I went to work later and puked a bunch and went home early. I was horribly sick for days afterwards. The curry stayed in my fridge for weeks because I didn't even want to look at it.

[Anonymous No.20603114]

>>20601269
shouldve taken a hot bath then shit again then a cold shower
a couple sushi rolls isnt that heavy especially with some sake

[Anonymous No.20603126]

>>20601443
its a spiritual journey and reinvigorates you after its over but overall not an experience you wish to replicate
kinda like ayahuasca

[Anonymous No.20603138]

>>20602771

One time I stopped by a T-Bell late at night after my shift. I ordered a chicken something or other and those bastards gave me a tortilla full of sour cream. I didn't realize until I got home lmao

[Anonymous No.20603160]

Most recent was a couple of chicken thighs I shouldn't have trusted. Me and my boy went to a 5-day music festival and packed thighs among a shit load of other food and never got a chance to grill them. They were in a dubiously cool cooler for much of that time, and I grilled them when I got home. Got a touch of the chickenitis from that.

Worst was some burgers that must have gotten left out raw at a party and put away later. I cooked one, ate it, and was blowing out of both holes for three days. Upon later inspection there was a dead fly in the bag of remaining patties.

Good luck OP, get some gatorade in you when you can. And not just plain water, you're going to need electrolytes.

[Anonymous No.20603184]

>>20601443

I always marvel at how cut I look after a good bout of food poisoning

[Anonymous No.20603192]

Got sick multiple times from Burger King lettuce
>inb4 Number 15

[Anonymous No.20603193]

>>20603184
fag

[Anonymous No.20603207]

>>20601443

Depends on the level. My last food poisoning was bad but wasn't horrible, I learned how to pull the trigger in my heavy drinking days which helps.

I had horrendous food poisoning in college (undercooked turkey burger). Lasted basically an entire day. By the end I dropped close to 10 pounds and missed a couple of days of school because I was so exhausted.

It's like puking and shitting every 30 minutes. There is maybe 5 minutes of relief in between the 30 minutes, then for 25 minutes a slow build of agony and intensifying nausea. You can't keep water or fluids down so basically you are getting more and more dehydrated as you progress.

So:
Puke/shit... 5 minutes of relief... 25 minutes of slowly intensifying agony/nausua... puke/shit... etc.

Like a hangover, however, it magically clears up after about 6-8-10 hours of hell.

On the bright side, you look great after it AND you can get the largest fucking meal possible to celebrate.

My magic trick: take shower during the agony phase. Alternate from hot to cold water. Helps so much.

[Anonymous No.20603214]

>>20601254
My whole family got food poisoning from Red Lobster when I was a kid. I’ve never gone back since.

[Anonymous No.20603277]

>>20603214
green lobster is better
sorry thats a place i just made up, it doesnt actually exist

[Anonymous No.20603322]

>>20601833
I think we know which country that was

[Anonymous No.20603664]

Not much you can do, player. Use the trash can for whichever one you'd like to hose out the least. Try to get some electrolytes in you. Sports drinks help, pickle juice will help in a pinch if you can tolerate the flavor.
>>20601443
I got food poisoning over spring break in 7th grade. We left a Pizza Hut 'roni pie out overnight and decided dammit, we paid for it and we're gonna eat it. And then we paid for it. It was incredible. I'd drink a pint of water, I'd vomit it right back up. I was vomiting green burning viscous substances until I had nothing to throw up and then I'd dry heave endlessly. The dry heaving was the worst part actually, and a blessing in disguise. It encouraged me to keep drinking water because throwing that up hurt less. Closest I've been to that since was drinking myself to gastritis, but at least it was difficult to shit out blood.

[Anonymous No.20603755]

>>20601443
I got food poisoning from drinking tequila and eating half cooked mcdicks chicken nuggets. The brain numbness was so bad for days that it felt like a dream. It hurts in a way that's both different from internal and external pain. Like a pseudosapient pipe bursting and getting shit water all over the bathroom floor.

[Anonymous No.20603785]

>>20603207
Good description and I agree about spending a lot of time in the shower. I’ve also found that moaning actually makes your stomach feel better.

Also, the first few sips of liquid that you can keep down are so precious, and that’s when you really turn the corner.

My magic trick: sprite on ice in a giant coffee mug is so fucking comfy once you can keep fluids down

[Anonymous No.20603789]

>>20602164
the only time i ever got seriously sick was from jack in the box. only ate fries. ended up on the side of the highway coming out of both ends at the same time. eventually made it to the hospital and they had to give me an IV i was so dehydrated. i've eaten at really sketchy mexican places and weird chinese bakeries but it was fuckin jack in the box that put in the hospital.

[Anonymous No.20603808]

>>20601254
The only time I ever got legitimate food poisoning was when I ate some homemade chili that had been in my fridge for about 2 weeks. Constant pooping and puking for a day and a half and felt exhausted for a few days afterward.

>What should I do?
You have to stay hydrated (especially if you're vomiting and diarrheaing) so keep drinking water but only drink small amounts of it sips at a time so that you are less likely to trigger a gastro response and vomit it.

[Anonymous No.20604931]

>>20601254
been eating healthy the longest time, burger king opens up next to where i live, used to love BK, bought a few burgers, could taste the exhaust and soot from the open flame grill, felt sick, flu like symptoms, almost vomited, pain in intestines all night, pain in intestines coupe days later, feeling bloated and awful, the soot and exhaust taste lingered on couple days, absolutely horrible, never eating at big-satan ever again, sticking to homemade wholefoods

[Anonymous No.20604993]

>>20602136
>-drank too much blood at once on a near empty stomach
Please be a woman please be a woman please be a woman please be a woman

[Anonymous No.20605045]

>>20601254
Back around Christmas 2015 Pizza Hut had me pissing out of my ass for about a week. It was a few days of sweaty delirium trying to play Xenoblade Chronicles X while stopping every half hour or so to blast a martini glass of liquid shit into the toilet. Haven't touched the Hut since.

[Anonymous No.20605080]

>>20601254

>visit france with gf
>all the food there is wine and cheese and cured meat and room temp butter
>gf loves it but not at all what im used to eating, no fresh veggies or anything healthy
>4 days in and i start feeling gurgling while we're at versailles
>shit like 5 times
>riding train home and we have to stand
>try not to faint, its super hot and sweaty and a rough ride and smells like brown people
>spend next 4 days shitting and in cold sweat
>try to force myself to go out to nice restaurants with gf
>she orders awesome dishes, i can barely only handle baguette with tea
>all the servers are visibly disgusted that im not enjoying their food and wine
>turns out she made surprise reservations at michelin star joint and had to put down deposit
>force myself to go and eat as much as possible so i can enjoy the experience
>cheese foam, tartare, cream soups, smoked fish, trying my best not to literally die while keeping this shit down
>finish eating, run to michelin bathroom and dont even make it to michelin toilet, puke entire rancid michelin meal in michelin sink
>start dry heaving and almost faint when the smell hits me because its so fucking nasty, looks like something AI would come up with
>pay and run the fuck out
>totally fine the next day

[Anonymous No.20605166]

>>20605080
ugh that sounds miserable. nothing like having to force yourself to eat when you're sick, especially due to money/travel reasons.

[Anonymous No.20605199]

>>20601833
>to this day
>picrel

[Anonymous No.20605242]

>>20605080
Truly a metaphor for modern France

[Anonymous No.20605254]

>>20601254
I got it from an ostrich. Decades ago the texas coast was awesome- packed with people who'd fish something out of the water and grill it, stick it on a skewer, amd sell it. I was a kid and the beach and seafood was the best things in life to me. We came up to a guy grilling turkey legs from a stall right beside the ostrich stables. Used to be a big thing to race ostriches on texas beaches. I ate one and it was magical. Well, until the cramps kicked in. I had pneumothorax earluer that year so my parents took me to the ER thinking it was that. I was in the hospital for a week.
Turns out i wasn't the only case: the stall shared a wall with the back of an ostrich stall so the whole thing was contaminated. The cops ran off all stalls and grillers after that. Unfortunately tgey haven't been back.

[Anonymous No.20605257]

Chinese/seafood buffets. And I keep doing it too, like 3-4 times a year.

[Anonymous No.20605272]

>>20603214
We went to Red Lobster when I was a kid, once. Had to pee and saw a trail of fresh puke on the floor leading into the bathroom. Noped outta there and never went back.

[Anonymous No.20605278]

>>20603192
How can you be positive it was the lettuce and not any other ingredient? Did you just order a side of lettuce?

[Anonymous No.20605400]

God i love these threads. There's nothing funnier than people shitting themselves. Nothing.

[Anonymous No.20605672]

>>20601254
Tried to use Ragusea's meringue recipe, bought the eggs, forgot about it for a few weeks (I never use eggs), then remembered what I was gonna do.


The meringue was not even fluffy, they ended up like cookies (that make you feel like you got punched in the gut).

[Anonymous No.20605725]

>>20603192

[Anonymous No.20605746]

>>20601569
hah I cook all my own food and I think i've developed a complex about it. I really don't feel comfortable eating food made by others.

[Anonymous No.20605849]

>>20601932
Can someone psychologically explain to me why responses like this evoke aggressive thoughts?
The redditer style regurgitation of information spouted off as wisdom makes me want to punch this anon in the throat.

[Anonymous No.20605897]

>>20601254
I made some sausages for dinner, I thought it smelled funny when I opened the packet but it wasn't very strong and I thought it might just be the flavour, and didn't want to waste them. Nope. I was shitting blood & vomiting for 3 days, while the other person who ate them had nothing wrong, so it was probably just one of them gone bad.

[Anonymous No.20605989]

>have metal water bottle that I barely clean
>often grows this black mold looking shit in several spots and crevices were water usually ends up sitting stagnant.
>drink out of it all the time for years knowing said mold is in there
>have never gotten sick from it in the slightest no matter how built up it gets.

[Anonymous No.20606006]

>>20601269
to be fair, its not hard to burst blood vessels after vomiting. after i do, it looks like i got into a fight with someone

[Anonymous No.20606136]

When I was 15 my friends and I went to the skatepark. There were some guys having a cookout in the parking lot. One guy was really drunk and said "check this shit out" and then chugged like a half cup of raw chicken juice from the bottom of an aluminum pan. He had to go to the hospital.

[Anonymous No.20606179]

>>20601932
It's bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast.

Also, what happens in the shower goes down the drain, and barfing up dilute ginger ale isn't so bad. Stock and toast when you can keep things down.

[Anonymous No.20606235]

I got the classic Thanksgiving food poisoning. 48 hours of nonstop vomiting and diarrhea. Nobody else in my family got it. Must have been leftovers or something cause it was all I ate in the 24 hours before I got sick. Dropped about 10 pounds that weekend and could barely move on Monday.

[Anonymous No.20606296]

>>20606235
>Nobody else in my family got it
I went out for pizza with my dad one time and got extremely food poisoned from it. He called me the next day and sounded perfectly fine and I was like "How the hell are you not sick???". I couldn't figure it out cause we had the exact same pizza, but then I remembered my side had one extra ingredient, pepperoni. His side was totally fine.

[Anonymous No.20606313]

>>20601254
I pride myself in having guts made of steel. I've consumed all sorts of expired foods and been to many seedy joints and survived with some mild gas. But one day last month I felt stomach pain so bad that I couldn't even stand up straight. Had cold sweats too.
The night before that happened, I had:
>Blueberry milkshake from local diner
>Burger King chicken burger
>McDonald's apple pie
>Sour cream Lays
There's nothing particularly bad or suspicious about any of these, so I'm guessing I'm just getting old.

[Anonymous No.20606316]

>>20601254
I get food poisoning every few months because I don't really care. You get used to it pretty quickly.

[Anonymous No.20606347]

Not sure if I ever got it. Sometimes after a meal I will have a single liquid shit. I remeber getting really sick a couple of days after eating spaghetti at a restaurant but that was during the H1N1 scare so who knows

[Anonymous No.20606379]

does alcohism count as chronic food poisioning? because one time i had to get fluid drained from around my lungs

[Anonymous No.20606383]

>>20606379
How could alcohol cause that

[Anonymous No.20606387]

>>20606383
I was injecting the alcohol into the space around my lungs

[Anonymous No.20606392]

>>20606387
I think you are lying

[Anonymous No.20606394]

>>20606392
I think you're right

[Anonymous No.20606396]

>>20601461
>Because it contains free iodine, Lugol's solution at 2% or 5% concentration without dilution is irritating and destructive to mucosa, such as the lining of the esophagus and stomach. Doses of 10 mL of undiluted 5% solution have been reported to cause gastric lesions when used in endoscopy.[20] The LD50 for 5% Iodine is 14,000 mg/kg (14 g/kg) in rats, and 22,000 mg/kg (22 g/kg) in mice.[21]

>The World Health Organization classifies substances taken orally with an LD50 of 5–50 mg/kg as the second highest toxicity class, Class Ib (Highly Hazardous).[22] The Global Harmonized System of Classification and Labeling of Chemicals categorizes this as Category 2 with a hazard statement "Fatal if swallowed".[23] Potassium iodide is not considered hazardous.[24]

Yeah, no.

[Anonymous No.20606408]

>>20606383
fucked my pancreas. for some reason that makes lungs juicy. its called pleural effusion

[Anonymous No.20607096]

>>20606316
indian?

[Anonymous No.20607138]

>>20601254
try shitting your pants before you eat, that way if it upsets your tummy you won't have any poopies left in you

[Anonymous No.20607150]

Loperamide

[Anonymous No.20607174]

>>20601660
There was(is?) a generic Chinese restaurant in Bloomington, IN called the Dragon Express. you know the kind--same large sheet of paper menu with all the usual suspects--For whatever reason, these guys could NOT make GeneralTso's chicken without the blanched broccoli turning the bottom of the container into swamp 8/10 times. you KNEW your guts would eject a few hours later if you got the swamp-box.
I eventually ONLY ever got char siu--well done--there. They got that right at least.
Oddly, the little family owned Chinese place that had 18 inch black sludge tendrils dripping off the ventilation fan in the back of the building never once gave me problems.
They had great fried bao too.
I miss the Phoenix Dump(ling)

[Anonymous No.20607184]

>>20601814
>shoulder pain accompanied foodbourne illness.
You got an added bonus Gallbladder attack for your trouble, probably.
Referred pain is weird, but right shoulder yeah? felt like it was coming from under the scapula? that was probably the muscles spasming from a "DISRESPECT TO GARR BRADDER!!"

[Anonymous No.20607213]

>be 25
>never really cooked much in my life
>cut a large tray full of small potatoes in half, put olive oil and salt on them
>baked them
>eat
>wake up in the middle of the night, feel like pooping, tummy doing summersaults
>sit on shitter
>like pic rel, simultaneously poop diahrea and puke half digested potatoes
>poop like 3 more times that night until my sides hurt and spasm
>finally feel better after 2 days
I still have no idea what happened. Probably ate a green potato?

[Anonymous No.20607226]

>>20603664
>Use the trash can for whichever one you'd like to hose out the least
This guy KNOWS.
Probably the WORST case of food poisoning was while camping all summer at a nature sanctuary as a staff member. after the festivals were all done, a few of us made a big feast for the last days my buddy's GF was going to be with us.
Steak, fresh bread, campfire potatoes, crudite...and then there was this unopened contained of hummus.. Three kings if i recall correctly. I didn't know at the time but this hummus had been fashioned in HELL from the bowels of Satan himself.
I plowed through about a 1/3nd of it before I noticed it was effervescing slightly--It hadn't been refrigerated for 24 hours before we'd gotten it, apparently.
Right as we were finishing up our meal, a BIG thunderstorm blew in, and as we scurried to toss everything into tents and coolers, the gut bubbling commenced.
*Just* as the torrential downpour started, which was almost literal buckets of water being thrown at you, I got that feeling...You know the one; Starts in the back of your mouth under your jaw, then a sort of sour numbness that makes your throat begin to tighten...
I unzipped the tent so fast that the zipper came off track and ended up 4 feet outside the tent on all fours vomiting as if my stomach was trying to vomit out my soul for the next 5 minutes, all while having gallons of cold rain smack me in big ploppy cold drops. At least the torrential rain washed away all the gorge, but damn... I ended up just passing out in my wet tent for the next 8 hours.
I'll still eat hummus--if I make it myself, but I can barely look at it if it's in a fancy plastic tub.

[Anonymous No.20607241]

>>20602136
Sounds like that Boursin came off the same assembly line in hell that the hummus did.(also garlic, i believe)

[Anonymous No.20607316]

>>20603138
I've seen something similar at Mc Donalds once. at 1AM on a weekday the dude ordering at the drive before us nearly fought with the cashier because they had forgotten the fish in his filet-o-fish. it was hilarious

[Anonymous No.20608109]

>>20607184
fascinating, yeah could've been that.

[Anonymous No.20608131]

>>20601254
Last year when I was house sitting. My sister got some of those blue apron order meals and honestly for the most part it wasn't bad. However, something must have been wrong in the sauce packet or the chicken for the stir fry meal because as I was driving home the next day my stomach started painfully lurching and groaning and I had to fight to keep my anus clenched all the way down the highway until I got home, shat for a solid hour then spent the rest of the weekend sleeping and living off of water. Then I was right as rain just in time for work.
A more mild case was when I had a box of Tuesday, some maruchan Yakisoba Korean BBQ style. I don't know what it was but I kept belching it up all day and I kept running to the restroom every 30 minutes to, again, shit my brains out. I had no clue I had that much in me and I was still feeling it wednesday.
Needless to say I'll be steering clear if packaged ramen for a while now.

[Anonymous No.20608132]

>>20601254
>cook my food
>wash my hands after touching raw ingredients
>don't travel to black or brown majority countries
I don't know this feel.

[Anonymous No.20608141]

>>20606313
>>Burger King chicken burger
Would 100 percent believe that the fast food place fucked you up. Either undercooked or handled by dirty unwashed hands.

[Anonymous No.20608142]

>>20606396
>Reddit spacing
>absolute faggot
Back

[Anonymous No.20609501]

>>20601254
>be me
>get a piece of a wedding cake
>store it in fridge for about a week
>decide to eat half of it one nice evening
>spend 7 hours puking my guts out that night

[Anonymous No.20609522]

>>20609501
>storing wedding cake for a week
Even if that wasn't retarded, why would you want to?

[Anonymous No.20610727]

>>20601254
I dunno if it's food poisoning but 7/11 taquitos and beer make me vomit for some reason. It's a handy way for me to get out of work. Yeah I could lie I was vomiting that night but my mom never taught me to lie so I have to make it legit.

[Anonymous No.20611059]

>>20610727
Makes me wonder what other random food combinations would cause vomiting. I've heart Smarties (pic version) and cashews are not a good mix, but idk if that's universal.

[Anonymous No.20611116]

>>20601443
I deliberately induce food poisining just to feel something real every once in a while

[0/10 experience No.20612242]

>>20601254
Berlin, Germany, around 2007
My father was "doing a marathon" (cheating on my mother, I suspect it was probably an arranged orgy of some such or an amateur porn shoot, but I have never asked him straight up) and my mother insisted we all go with him to Germany from the UK to support him while he does "the marathon"; an arrangement which he pretended to be OK with on his face, but it was actually an arrangement about which he was fucking seething about the entire time we were there, and during the journey.
The trip was a complete nightmare. My father was distant, argumentative, constantly walking ahead of us very far away while me, my mother and my young sister were left bewildered; my mother and father constantly argued, my father was not interested in me nor my sister, pretended to only passively give the slightest fucking shit about anything we did together.
Anyway, I digress - the first day we were there, we stop at a Thai restaurant. I order a beef dish with some delicious steamed rice. It was very nice, quite mild and tasty, piquant; however, later I would discover that myself and my sister had been given food poisoning as a result of this meal.
For days I was extremely sick, feeling very frail, very cold, shivering, and alternating between bouts of vomiting and shitting; at times I thought I would die. The environment of our accomodation did very little to provide anodyne for my illness -- a bleak, poorly-furnished, Communist-style megablock cheap hostel in a strange quasi-civic quasi-rental quasi-tourist locale that was constantly under construction despite being very old, and where the only source of food for breakfast was a strange, isolated, tiny fridge dumped unceremoniously a floor below us and surrounded by junk and construction errata -- Aldi ham, continental cheeses, Lidl croissants, some cheapo jams, out of date cereals - and it was here, in between a squalid toilet and a moldy bedframe, where I passed some of the worst days of my life.

[0/10 experience No.20612261]

>>20612242
So frail was I, that during this time I could not leave the tiny room in which we had been confined as accomodation during our trip. While my mother and father and sister -- the latter of whom rapidly got over her food poisoning -- would go out and tour Berlin on foot, I stayed in this dingy, turquoise-painted squat of a flat; a tiny little living arrangement that, decades prior and last century, would have perhaps housed a poor German working-class family from the East, and my mind balked at what daily life must have been like here for them, divvying rations and arguing about what little Hans must do once he leaves school, gossiping about whatever neighbour on that floor had been doing that past week, strange men coming and going at all hours and so on, perhaps even the odd Commissar stuffing his service revolver into a desk while he tiredly sighs and sits down, finally off his shift and pouring a shot of vodka for the evening as he turns attention to the Fernseher to watch nightly news.
To look out the window was to lay sight on a depressing vigil: run-down play areas for children, rusted with age, neglected grass, shitty peeling white paint on the windowsill, a huge courtyard ringed by brutalist architectured walls, and a gallery of hundreds of windows much the same as the one I was gazing through. It was definitely the East of Berlin.
I was very sick. As I said above, I felt like I could die. Never before in my life had I been as sick as I was those few days alone, and we could get no medicine, for we spoke little German and after all, were unfamiliar with how such dispensions worked here. So I had to just get over it, slowly, my own self. Drinking liquids, shitting liquids, vomiting liquids. All I had for company was a paperback copy of The Shining.
For three days I lived like this, and on the fourth day, was well enough to leave; but was still sick. I remember vomiting in public.
The rest of the trip was awful due to family reasons.
Wouldn't return

[Anonymous No.20612275]

>>20601254
>Few years back, day of grandma's birthday, god rest her soul
>My dad and I are about before her birthday dinner, get a hankering for some sushi
>Go to an all you can eat lunch joint
>Eat a variety of raw seafood, sampling their meager menu
>I order some octopus, dad orders another helping of tuna
>Half way through the octopus when I clearly hear in hurried, angry engrish "What you mean fridge still broken?"
>None of my concern
>Dinner at a hibachi restraunt, starting to get sweaty and nausea, realize it should've been my concern
>Spend the next few days feeling like death twice baked, feverish and hallucinating
>Don't touch sushi for a few years

It was the fucking octopus, the only thing my dad didn't eat that I did that day. Luckily, that shithole that near killed me got closed down that same summer.

[Anonymous No.20612291]

I hate eating out. I just don't trust people to do a good job. My wife loves eating out. It's a struggle.
I'm very picky with my food. If anything smells or tastes a little bit off, I'm not eating it. I don't eat sea food, I like meat well done, I avoid fast food joints and don't drink alcohol anymore.
I've never had food poisoning and after reading this thread, I hope I never will. It sounds like a horrible experience.
The most I've had was a runny stool from too much vitamin C or throwing up after drinking too much. Alcohol is bad for your stomach.

[Anonymous No.20612433]

>>20610727
I don't think I've ever eaten 7/11 taquitos without having also consumed a large amount of beer

[Anonymous No.20612614]

>>20601254
haven't had food poisoning in a long time since I make my own food, but the most recent experience was way back in 2017 after eating a shitty food truck breakfast burrito that wasn't prepared properly.

Went to bed feeling fine, but woke up in the middle of the night with extreme gas and abdominal pain. Got up to shit liquid diarhea like 5 times in the span of 2 hrs. After that, nothing but water was coming out. The cramps and abdominal pain were getting worse. It was at the point I was lying on the bathroom floor since the bouts of shooting out liquiid shit from my ass were becoming more frequent. I could see the early morning light peek in throught the bathroom window and I decided that this had to end and the only way was to induce vomiting. Got up off the floor, grabbed my toothbrush and started gagging myself until I started to feel like puking. Didn't take long and I was barfing up a bunch of undigested and under cooked hashbrowns from that breakfasta burrito.

Instantly felt better, but still felt kind of sick. Puked a few more times after that but was over it after only 16 hrs of agony. Didn't feel comfortable with eating solid food for like the next 32 hrs however.

[Anonymous No.20613003]

I probably had salmonella poisoning two years ago, I was shitting water for a week, also it started with a fever. After a few days the diarrhea turned bloody. I thought of visiting the doctor because the blood was upsetting but I just dreaded the idea of having to do a stool sample with my watery shits.

[Anonymous No.20613080]

>>20612261
>>20612242
Based writefag

[Anonymous No.20613191]

>>20601254
I can't remember the last time food made me vomit.
Either an all day stomach ache and cramps from greasy food or having to go to the bathroom every hour for a few hours are the worst I've had in years.

[Anonymous No.20613674]

I ate half a sandwich and left in the fridge at work on Monday. I didn't come in the next day for some reason. And I think the day after that was a holiday. In the end I had to wait till I came back on Thursday to eat it. It didn't look very good but I really didn't want to waste it. Expensive sandwich.
So I ate it. Spent the entire afternoon feeling my stomach feel the most painful nausea ever. Just sat at the desk there and put my head down and tried not to move at all every movement was painful and nauseating and made me feel like vomiting. in the end I powered through it without vomiting though

I feel like my stomach got significantly more powerful that day. Big zenkai boost

[Anonymous No.20613825]

>>20601254
Ate spoiled portabella mushrooms once, spent the next day feeling really nauseous and having nonstop liquid shits. Only threw up once though, and my stomach settled after that. It kind of sucked - this happened on a Thanksgiving and I couldn't go visit the extended family.

[Anonymous No.20613873]

I got a case of campylobacter from an unknown source (probably poultry)

The food poisoning itself was your standard three days of shitting and puking

Campylobacter is unusual in that in can drive your immune system crazy, causing a vicious autoimmune reaction. This happened to me. I got arthritis and my knees swelled up like grapefruit. Couldn’t walk at all for two weeks and took six months before I could move normally again

Food poisoning is no joke anons

[Anonymous No.20613893]

>>20601254
>muslim place
>really spicy food, hot as balls
>always order muhammad level
>usually fine
>hm that chicken was oddly crunchy
>diarreah and vomitting for 4 days
>1 week later
>hi muhammad, extra allah please
>everything okay
>1 week later
>hmm that chicken was a little crunchy
>rinse and repeat
>tfw I just had some mohammad chicken today

[Anonymous No.20613902]

>>20601254
you may want to consider going to the hospital before you get seriously dehydrated

[Anonymous No.20614514]

>>20601443
It’s hell.
>t: got it from eating undercooked ghost pepper wings from Popeyes

[Anonymous No.20614581]

>>20603126
This is so true. I went through hell for a week but felt like a completely different person after it was over. Never want to go through that again though.

[Anonymous No.20614861]

>>20601254
I ate a hot dog at a mall in New York before my cousins and brother and I went to go see Inception. I managed to not vomit the whole movie but it was utter hell with all the upside down scenes. Threw up everything afterwards like my life depended on it

[Anonymous No.20614868]

>>20602164
Remember Jack in the Box killed some kids with E. Coli in the 90's.

[Anonymous No.20615051]

>>20601254
Not really horror stories, but everytime i visited the US, i had to vomit atleast once each time.
Not quite expired milk, undercooked meat in a burger and eating salmon that was probably not so fresh anymore as it should have been.

All in all, still 7/10, would visit again, even with the vomiting on the horizon.

[Anonymous No.20615142]

>>20601254
During covid I went to a hipster pub to wait for someone, got a bloody mary, and it had almost no taste.
Thought maybe I was getting sick, asked the person I was with to taste to check, they said lol nope that's spoiled tomato juice, you're fucked
Sure enough I was shitting and puking myself to death the next day for a 2-3 days.
Drink lots of water, sleep , and if available, get some carbon tablets to slam down, they help a lot

[Anonymous No.20615145]

>>20605400
Ohhhhh boy, have I got a story for you. It's not exactly food poison, but it's adjacent, so I think you'll enjoy
>be me
>january 2024
>have been lactose intolerant since the end of highschool
>a bit annoying, but it will not stop me from eating cheese and pidzer and MACnCHEESE
>week has been okay with food. Not eaten too much dairy, but little each day adds up
>go hang out with my cousin
>we eat some chick-fil-a
>specifically with a side of da mac'n'ese
>best thing on the menu
>best thing around
>omw home after chillin
>start to feel a rumbly in my tumbly
>not too bad, but I gotta get home soon
>about 5m away from home I get another rumble
>no worries, I'm almost home
>get home
>now begins a series of little mistakes that compound into my greatest failure and lowest moment in life
>oh, let me put away my coat
>oh, let me take off my ring and necklace
>oh, I should take my wallet out of my pocket
>in the middle of my room, the rumbling has returned
>oh, let me take off my watch, I don't wanna poo with that on
>oh, let me put my hoodie away
>I'm almost prarie dogging at this point
>oh, let me take off my gun and holster and put it away
>oh, no
>as I'm tossing my phone onto my shelf, I begin to shit myself
>poop is coming out of my asshole and I am nowhere near the toilet
>I waddlesprint to the bathroom, inching closer to my demise
>up the lid, down my pants
>my final mistake, lowering my pants while faced 90 degrees away from the toilet
>as soon as the buttcheeks were exposed a deluge of chocolatey goodness evicted itself from my bowels
>*PLOOP*
>that was the sound the first round of artillery made as it dropped directly onto the floor, directly onto my bathroom rug
>the second round, now turned to face the proper direction, landed squarely at 11 O'clock on the toilet seat
>I think out of all the shit that was in my colon, less than a third of it went into the toilet water
(1/3?)

[Anonymous No.20615148]

>>20615145
>I sat, not realizing the damage zone of the second blast, smearing shit all over my right cheek. Another mistake.
>next, I moved my foot, as it was in an uncomfortable position and planted it directly in a third, previously unknown pile of dookie, which was obstructed by the angle of my leg. The ghost pile. Another mistake
>the sock was, needless to say, tossed into the garbage bin immediately
>it appears that the first fall had split, midair, mind you, into two separate dark-matter bombs
>throughout all of this, the rest of my clothes remained surprisingly clean. Other than the sock, I only had a little dab of poopoo on the bottom of my pant leg
>to summarize up until now, floor- shitted on, rug- beyond hope of salvation, asscheek- smeared in shit, sock- defiled, pants- miraculously evaded most damage, my soul and psyche- irreparably damaged, toilet bowl- empty
>I sat in my filth like a pig; An absolutle swine; And couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculous situation. This was truly one of the moments of my life
(2/3)

[Anonymous No.20615151]

>>20615148
>it was far from over, by the way
>once I deemed my colon sufficiently empty, I began the clean up
>I grabbed toilet paper and tried to scoop up the first pile and ghost pile
>the wonderful taste of Mac'n'Cheese was still in my mouth by this time btw
>anywho, as I was squatted down, scooping the dookie into the watery grave, I did not realize that I had made yet another mistake
>I did not clean my ass of shit before the clean up, as I thought the large damage zones would be more pressing
>this means that while I was squatted down like an indian, little droplets of shit would pepper the floor in previously undamaged areas
>I only realized this after it was too late
>eventually, the majority of shit was cleared off the rug, but it still seeped into it, so i knew it was a lost cause
>I cleaned the toilet seat. I scrubbed the rug with a dozen clorox wipes. I got in the shower to cleanse my soul of the damage I'd done
>after the water stopped running, the smell was unreal
>stepping out of the shower and into the miasma of my failures was like passing through an oblivion gate
>I tactfully hopped over the damage zones, opened the window as wide as it goes, and left the door to my bathroom closed the rest of the day
>I did not want anyone to know of this event, so I waited for my parents to go to work in the morning before I threw away the rug and deepcleaned the floor with chemicals, and left the window open again(middle of jan btw, so it was super cold) go complete wipe the smell
>when my parents asked me why I didn't wait till I had gotten a new rug in before throwing away the old one, I just responded with "wasn't thinking lol"
all in all, I'm not too upset about the situation. I got scwifty and it made for a good story to tell 4chan. I can look back and laugh at my retardation and I needed a new rug anyways since that one was old and damaged already(not from shit)
I'll never tell someone irl this happened tho, and hopefully it will never happen again
(3/3)

[Anonymous No.20615166]

>>20615151
Oh yeah, first pic was the damage zones after I had cleaned as best I could with clorox wipes. Prior to this happeneing, the rug was already very old and the bottom of it started sticking to the tiles, so it needed to be replaced anyways. But the poop had seeped into and melted it to the tiles. When I lifted it up to chuck it, I had to scrape the poop/fabric glue off of the tiles
Second pic is my spirit animal
Third pic is my new rugs, which are, as of yet, untainted by my shid
I was in the middle of watching fishtank s2 when this happened. I blame jet neptune, desu

[Anonymous No.20615974]

>>20614581
become one with the toilet
become one with the universe

[Anonymous No.20616004]

>>20615145
>>20615148
>>20615151

[Anonymous No.20617566]

>le poop le funny
grow up

[Anonymous No.20617589]

The worst one was after eating some curry in thailand. Its so much worse if was really spicy. Thankfully i haven't had food poisoning since I stopped eating animal products, seems to be way more rare with plant based foods