/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.20593474]

>follow recipe online
>add 2 tablespoons of Uncle Jimmy's finger lickin rib ticklin slap ya mammas asscheeks ejaculate of satan sauce found only at Whole foods

[Anonymous No.20593481]

>follow recipe online
>use EXACTLY 1 1/8 tsp of paprika
>use two medium size onions

[Anonymous No.20593497]

thats a legit dank name for a hot sauce tho lol

[Anonymous No.20593501]

>pasta de cum sauce
>requires 2 tbsp of fresh cum
Where am I supposed to get that much?

[Anonymous No.20593502]

>>20593501
Ask your mom/sister/dad.

[Anonymous No.20593527]

>>20593474
sounds good to me

[Anonymous No.20593791]

>See a recipe on Youtube
>Family claims they eat it every week
>It's absolutely fucking disgusting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7zFYs0OrX4&lc=

[Anonymous No.20593802]

>Use whatever you think is best
>Add whatever spices you'd like
>Flavor to taste

[Anonymous No.20593806]

>>20593474
>prep time: 10 minutes
>actually takes 45 minutes

[Anonymous No.20593841]

>costanza
>monke
>anakin
fukken love /ck/ so much

[Anonymous No.20593850]

>>20593791
what the hell?

[Anonymous No.20593956]

>>20593474
Did their entire lifestory about whatever the recipe was, watch all 30 popup video links, and click their affiliate links before stealing the recipe?

[Anonymous No.20593961]

>look up recipe online
>15 paragraph essay about the author's family loves it before the actual recipe
t-thanks SEO

[Anonymous No.20593970]

>>20593791
>Indian diarrhea covered chicken

[Anonymous No.20594132]

>read recipe reviews
>people who make changes to the recipe complain it doesn't turn out right and give the recipe a low score

[Anonymous No.20594170]

>>20593497
le monke cooke

[Anonymous No.20594335]

>>20593970
Indians would never make that monstrosity

[Anonymous No.20594344]

>>20593474
>Recipe calls for large eggs
>No recipe has ever called for small eggs
Why do they even exist?

[Anonymous No.20594369]

>>20594344
this isn't commonly known but smaller people tend to cook with smaller ingredients to suite their accordingly-smaller appetite. i'm only 5'4 or so, so normally if a recipe calls for large eggs or a whole chicken i'll substitute smaller/quail eggs or a cornish game hen. it's embarrassing to talk about, so most recipes just assume it's for normal people

[Anonymous No.20594504]

>look up a recipe
>it requires ingredients

[Anonymous No.20594509]

>>20593961
>when my family immigrated here in 400 AD it was a long and arduous journey over seven eons in a paddle boat with nothing but squirrel anus and beached whale blubber to eat
>this one's for you, Grandma

[Anonymous No.20594517]

>>20594369
In my Midget village our grocery store only stock small foods like baby carrots/corn or bagel bite frozen pizzas.

[Anonymous No.20594572]

[Anonymous No.20594596]

>>20594572
wasted 1.34MB by saving and posting this

[Anonymous No.20594597]

>>20594596
Hiros gonna freak!

[Anonymous No.20595884]

>>20594572
>jpeg'd screencap
this should be a sin
there's like 5 total colors, a png would've given you a filesize of like 300KB while also not looking like crusted shit

[Anonymous No.20595910]

>see recipe
>it requires cooking pre-cooked frozen shrimp
oof

[Anonymous No.20595935]

>>20593474
recipes should just give you the list of spices without the measurements and if you can't figure it out then you deserve to eat shit

[Anonymous No.20595960]

>>20593474
>Uncle Jimmy's finger lickin rib ticklin slap ya mammas asscheeks ejaculate of satan sauce
you forgot that it's behind an affiliate link too.

[Anonymous No.20596026]

>follow online recipe
>calls for "Stoked Pamprika"
>tfw I can only find smoked paprika

[Anonymous No.20596102]

>>20596026
Henry's recipes are the GOAT
Chilli for one
Date night sushi
pure kino

[Anonymous No.20596108]

>>20596102
>kino
You can't get your cock stuck back on, so I hope you're happy with your decision ma'am

[Anonymous No.20596111]

>mfw it costs less money and time to buy a mcchicken than to make one at home

[Anonymous No.20596125]

>>20596111
>Oh look at my tranime meme

[Anonymous No.20596202]

>>20595935
this. if you're even following a recipe step by step, and especially in regards to quantities, you already fucked up and unironically can't cook. the proper way is to glance over 2-5 different recipes for the same dish, get a gist of the ingredients and techniques used, and then synthesize it and apply your own knowledge to make a better product that's suited to your taste than if you were to follow one exactly.

[Anonymous No.20596221]

>>20593806
>prep time: 10 minutes
>first step involves marinating it overnight

[Anonymous No.20596406]

>super easy one pot recipe for week night dinner for one
>30 item recipe list that's going to take days to find and gather and eill overflow the largest pot you own

[Anonymous No.20596550]

>>20593791
What an abomination

[Anonymous No.20596562]

>>20593481
SO TRUE.
>follow recipe
>1 clove garlic
>1.5 large onion

[Anonymous No.20596974]

>>20593474
Personal favorite
>wash-your-sister sauce

[Anonymous No.20597011]

>salt to taste
SALT TO TASTE WHAT?

[Anonymous No.20597360]

>>20596125

[Anonymous No.20597393]

>>20593474
but is it BOLD???!?

[Anonymous No.20597936]

>>20597360
This takes me back ...

[Anonymous No.20598134]

>>20593791
Lazy disgusting fuckers.

[Anonymous No.20598162]

>>20595935
I’d be fine with just the ratios. A few months ago I was experimenting with a chicken wings dry rub. Someone asked for the recipe and as always I didn’t measure anything out so I started writing down the ratios but realized that was probably going to be confusing to normies so I made up some measurement and did the math from there.

When you’re using like 3 ingredients or less the ratio probably isn’t going to matter a whole lot, but if you start getting up to 5 or more it’s probably going to be hard to distinguish each individual component in the final product so remembering you used twice as much paprika to turmeric or whatever is helpful.

[Anonymous No.20598233]

>>20595935
I ignore measurements and just wing it purely out of laziness

[Anonymous No.20598246]

Some sloppa dipped in Mama Liz's Chili Oil

[Anonymous No.20598639]

I never follow recipes exactly unless its some ethnic food I've never tried before and getting the spices right is essential to get the "correct" flavor. Which is why I fucking hate >>20593802. I dont know what cumwah dumpings are supposed to taste like and thus I want to know what the exact spice composition is so I can later build up on that.

[Anonymous No.20598800]

>>20593501
From me cutie

[Anonymous No.20599164]

>>20596221
fuck hate this shit like you want to believe

[Anonymous No.20599508]

>>20593474
>recipe is super long with a lot of unnecessary commentary
>still fails to include important informations

[Anonymous No.20600663]

>tfw no skip to recipe button
>have to hear some bitch's life story and decipher what I should be doing and how much of what I need
>no you stupid bitch I don't care if you had a lactose intolerant guest over one day.

[Anonymous No.20600717]

>>20597011
To taste sukondese obviously.

[Anonymous No.20601190]

>all complaints itt
that's why i just watch chef John from foooooodwishes dot com

[Anonymous No.20601286]

>>20601190
I thought all these complaints were made up. Do people actually watch shit they hate like a pile of retards?
Also, chef John is great

[Anonymous No.20601294]

>>20597360
Don't disgrace leek spin girl by comparing it to your tranime shit.

[Anonymous No.20601337]

>>20601294
4channel.org is no longer an anime website anonymous user.
Also, have you ever watch pilotredsun on a big screen? It blew my fucking mind.

[Anonymous No.20601367]

>>20596125
Anime website faggot

[Anonymous No.20601404]

>>20601367
Maybe back when you were 12 and saying desu all day, but now newfags come in droves and don't leave. Prove me wrong

[Anonymous No.20601422]

>>20601294
>leek spin girl

That's Orihime from Bleach

[Anonymous No.20601449]

>check website url
>https://UncleJimmysfingerlickinribticklinslapyamammasasscheeksejaculateofsatansauce.com/recipe.php

[Anonymous No.20602984]

>>20600663
Oh my fucking god, this fucking bullshit is the worst.

I always read recipes on my phone and it fucking takes an hour to scroll to the actual recipe because some cunt thinks she's writing for the New Yorker.

[Anonymous No.20603935]

>>20597360
>GIFs you can hear

[Anonymous No.20603937]

>>20596562
>>20593481
anyone who is filtered by this needs to go back to drinking beers and asking their wife for a sammich

[Anonymous No.20603939]

>>20598639
>>20593802
completely unnecissary, just find someone who is talking in depth about the history of the food, people probably cant figure out how that cock sucking homo kenji alt lopez got so popular but it's because he rambles on and on about how the food works in every context which gives you ever vibe and idea you need to understand what the food is supposed to be and the confidence to basically ignore his recipes and focus on the TECHNIQUE

[Anonymous No.20603942]

Based(dot)cooking
Contribute, you dumb chimps

[Anonymous No.20603960]

>>20596125
>calling reaction images "memes"
/pol/cels once again proving themselves to be underaged newfags.

>>20600663
>>20593956
>>20593961
>>20594509
Protip. add https://cooked.wiki/ before the url of any online recipe and it will parse the recipe without all the bullshit.

For example
https://food52.com/recipes/37407-aloo-gobi
becomes
https://cooked.wiki/https://food52.com/recipes/37407-aloo-gobi

[Anonymous No.20604003]

>people who cook this recipe also make the same thing but in a different order and one extra ingrediant!

[Anonymous No.20604131]

>>20597011
deez nuts

[Anonymous No.20604165]

Nobody:
Schizo: AAAHHHHH THE POLCHADS ARE BEHIND EVERYTHING

[Anonymous No.20604243]

>>20603960
Shit thanks man.
That is a much better version of
>watch?v=
For youtube shorts and
>&t=
For Manuelly serting the time on videos
Thanks!

[Anonymous No.20604579]

>>20604165
pipe down, virgin

[Anonymous No.20605410]

>>20594335
sir, you eat the poo poo

[Anonymous No.20605554]

>>20596125
kill yourself

[Anonymous No.20605712]

>>20593791
Dudes fantasize about having a 50s housewife and don't realize they cooked all kinds of disgusting shit like this

[Anonymous No.20605714]

>>20605554
I'm going to kick your ass, Jimmy Dorset! FUCK YOU

[Anonymous No.20606845]

>>20603960
do not call these pedos
>polcels
please. polcels are a noble race, we are not lewd.

[Anonymous No.20606893]

>>20594369
LMFAO

[Anonymous No.20606894]

>>20594572
What font lil bro?

[Anonymous No.20607401]

>find lobster bisque recipe
>can't determine if there's olives in it

[Anonymous No.20607469]

>>20606845
>Floods /gif/ with QoS/cuck/Buckbreaking threads
>"not lewd"
the delusion

[Anonymous No.20607959]

>>20606845
>please. polcels are a noble race,
Is jacking off to trannies and then seething about them on /pol/ out of shame considered a noble act?

[Anonymous No.20608140]

Recipes aren't divine Scripture. Adjust and alter them however you want. If you think a recipe would be better with pepper instead of salt, then just do it.

[Anonymous No.20608151]

>>20608140
>If you think a recipe would be better with pepper instead of salt, then just do it.
A savory recipe without salt is going to taste bland as hell

[Anonymous No.20608157]

>>20608151
Then don't do it.

[Anonymous No.20608543]

>>20593474
>salt to taste
Just tell me how much, asshole!

[Anonymous No.20608891]

>>20608157
You can make a recipe in any crazy way you want, but not using salt in a savory recipe is madness unless you really need to reduce your sodium.

[Anonymous No.20609211]

>>20593501
start jerkin boy