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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 1.63 MB, 2287x2127, 20240512_183307.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20487538 No.20487538 [Reply] [Original]

Hey Pizza Dudes and Pizza Dudettes, I got a TMNT Pizza to review today. I honestly came into this pizza kind of worried because unlike something like Chuck e cheese, the brand does not live or die on the quality of the product. Is this a quick cash in or a super powered pizza? We're going to find out

>> No.20487550

They shortened the names of the turtles because today's American child can barely read, let alone read 'Michaelangelo'. It's an inclusive decision and if you complain you're getting cancelled for being a whiny chud. Can you be the first ITT to solve the puzzle?

>> No.20487553
File: 2.45 MB, 2502x2726, 20240512_183352.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20487553

Fuck I'm off to a bad start, I'm so tired pizza pals...

>> No.20487562
File: 1.89 MB, 2938x3003, 20240512_183439.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20487562

The 'turtle shell crust' appears to just be a repurposed soccer ball. My sense of unease increased as I wondered if I was about to subject myself to some third world slop.

>> No.20487563

Why does Michelangelo look like Spottemgottem in that pic

>> No.20487567

>>20487563
That nigga been on my mind

>> No.20487571

>>20487538
I fucking hate you

>> No.20487581

They make this shit but wont bring turtle pies back, why?

>> No.20487584

>>20487538
New TMNT is a disgrace and you should kill yourself now.

>> No.20487587

>>20487562
1200 calories for this little piece of shit !!!

>> No.20487594
File: 1.98 MB, 2673x2600, 20240512_185308.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20487594

Pulling the pizza apart was rather difficult. The turtle shell gimmick creates weak points in the crusts structural integrity, completely retarded considering you can't even see the shell unless you hold the the entire pizza up and look under the crust.
This pizza tastes like shit. The pepperonis are flavorless, and you would be forgiven for not realizing there's cheese on this thing. The sauce is spicy yet there's little depth of character to the spice mix, it's like a flavorless burn. But the worst part of all is the crust. The crust is on the thick side, probably to try to make the soccer ball hold together better. Do you know what vitamin enhanced wheat flour tastes like? Maybe you ate some of the raw ingredient as a kid? That's what this pizza tastes like. Uncooked vitamin-enhanced wheat flour. The taste is overbearing and dominates most bites, with some of the spices occasionally adding an unpleasant burn. Throw this piece of shit in the sewer where it belongs. 5/10

>> No.20487595

>>20487594
how does this still get a 5/10?

>> No.20487598

>>20487595
Gamer girl rating system (5/10 is abysmal)

>> No.20487601

>>20487550
They have always shortened the names since the 80s. Don, Mikey, Leo, Raph.

>> No.20487605
File: 155 KB, 1080x709, Screenshot_20240512_223243_Yuka.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20487605

I dunno why anyone who cares about their health would buy a teenage mutant ninja turtles pizza that tastes like shit, but the additives are the usual suspects if you're curious

>> No.20487622

>>20487601
that was probably more for resolution and memory limitations

>> No.20487705

>>20487601
I never was into that stuff but the marketing always used the full names iirc

>> No.20487913

>>20487594
I’m always a little skeptical when there’s a distributor but not a manufacturer on the package. Did you eat more than a couple bites?

>> No.20487921
File: 17 KB, 474x248, th-2868940404.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20487921

>>20487913
I ate the whole thing. That's one of the reasons I use the gamer scale for reviews, because even a bad pizza not worth buying again is still edible nourishment. The worst 3 pizza experiences I've had were this and 2 pepperoni grease bombs (red baron brick oven pepperoni & digornio stuffed crust pepperoni), and yeah it wasn't something I'd be proud to serve but it was still good enough to eat, even if it wasn't great

>> No.20488043

>>20487601
I was born in 91 and only ever used their full names.

>> No.20488044

>>20487567
kek

>> No.20488266

>>20488043
Yes but you are a tismo

>> No.20488301

>>20487538
Mutant Mayhem kind of killed the brand for me. I loved all iterations of TMNT for 30 years, then this purposely ugly thing came out and I immediately felt very cold towards it all. I have fond memories about liking it, but don't think I'll like it in that way ever again.

>> No.20488303

>>20487538
Would Shred and Behead then rape

>> No.20488620

>>20488266
It's not about 'tism, the tv shows in the 90s used their full names

>> No.20488622

>>20487563
The world needs new turtles that appeal to today's urban youth

>> No.20488711

>>20487921
What is the best pizza you've ever had? Frozen, of course

>> No.20488720

>>20488711
There are a lot of premium brands I still haven't tried but so far my favorites have been the red baron classic crust pepperoni & supreme varieties

>> No.20488949

>>20487601
40 year old boomer here. I watched ninja turtles religiously since it came out in '87 and you're full of goddamned shit. They only occasionally shortened their names during dialogue. All the toys and shit used their full names.

>> No.20489002
File: 45 KB, 600x338, 13d8801ca06c21d7-600x338.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20489002

the pizza-eating scene in the original TMNT movie was weird if you think about it. like that pizza just went down the rubber suit and had to sit there in warm temperatures and rot for the rest of the day's shooting. fucking nasty

>> No.20489124

>>20489002
Why wouldn't they just eat the pizza

>> No.20489152

>>20487553
(Collect them all!)
Hear that, anon? BUY MORE PIZZA. DO IT. BUY IT NOW. GO. GO TO YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET AND BUY MORE PIZZA. YOU MUST COLLECT THEM ALL. THE BOX COMMANDED IT TO YOU. IT'S IN THE HOLY PROPHECY

>> No.20489375
File: 215 KB, 600x600, box-pepperoni-pizza.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20489375

so tie in frozen pizzas have become a thing now. fuck i hate this planet

>> No.20489787

>>20489375
>I'm mad because there exist products I don't like

>> No.20489838
File: 1.79 MB, 2000x2000, Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles-Mac-Attack-Pizza-Turtle-Shell-Pattern-Crust-Cheddar-Cheese-Alfredo-Sauce-19-35-oz-Frozen_90c3f088-9fd5-4ec4-9d8b-bce5dac1c475.d3afd66957cb64260d94a20659f3c21c.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20489838

try the mac n cheese flavor or gtfo

>> No.20489856

pizza-chan, what are your thoughts on screamin sicilian? my mom would always get those and im trying one for the first time right now. personally i think its alright but id honestly rather get digiorno

>> No.20489886

>>20489856
I haven't tried it yet! It's on my to-do list, I prioritized some other brands because I got walmart+ for a month and was only shopping from there

>> No.20490474

>>20489886
Are you passing or no? The thought of a greasy, overweight, balding 30 something twitter trans person surviving on frozen pizza is repulsive. I imagine you look like Kevin Gibes or the other former residents of the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch.

>> No.20490752

>>20489002
Pretty sure this was the animatronic rather than the suit. Even if it was the suit the actor probably had his arm up there to catch the pizza and direct it into his own mouth

>> No.20491000
File: 24 KB, 686x386, salty.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20491000

>>20487605
"Hazardous"

>> No.20491063
File: 2.50 MB, 2502x2726, 1715566287548736.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20491063

>>20487553

>> No.20491326

>>20490474
I'm cute actually, judging by the caliber of man I pull