/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.20265267]

What is the worst meal someone else made for you that you still ate out of politeness?

[Anonymous No.20265288]

My ex was a lousy cook and she'd make shit like chicken breast marinated in just orange juice that never turned out right.

[Anonymous No.20265342]

I've never had an experience like that. Sorry you grew up around cityfolk.

[Anonymous No.20265351]

>>20265342
>I've never had an experience like that. Sorry you grew up around heterosexual people.
ftfy

[Anonymous No.20265368]

I had to visit flyover country once and they made something they called a "salad" which I was looking forward to because fresh vegetables are almost unheard of (they're for 'fags and women' and both of those population groups are subject to state-sanctioned violence so needless to say eating vegetables is not something you openly do in those places)

Anyway I shouldn't have been surprised to find out it was literally (I am not making this up) marshmallows, jell-o, canned cherries like for a cocktail (except cheaper and shittier), canned orange wedges, miracle whip (a local synthetic version of whipped cream), and shredded coconuts. It wasn't as terrible as it sounded but I wouldn't call it good

I feel sorry for people who live in flyover states but the only reasonable solution is contraceptives which they consider to be a form of satanism or demon worship so it is what it is

[Anonymous No.20265372]

>>20265368
Ambrosia salad.
I'm American and even I'm repulsed by it

[Anonymous No.20265376]

>>20265368
My parents are filthy coastie yuppies and make this shit every thanksgiving

[Anonymous No.20265419]

My dad's best friend cooked chicken for his son's wedding reception dinner and it was easily the worst protein I've ever had. Next to no seasoning because "the smoke flavors the meat" and it was overcooked to the point it was hard to eat.

[Anonymous No.20265447]

I had to visit the inner city once and they made something they called "food" which I was looking forward to because normal food is almost unheard of (it's for 'wypipo and capitalists' and both of those things are criminal offenses which aren't crimes because the police were defunded because laws is wayciss n sheeit)

Anyway I shouldn't have been surprised to find out it was literally (I am not making this up) fish heads, bugs, seed oils, virgin boy eggs, and jenkem. It wasn't as terrible as it sounded because there were exposed brick walls and it cost 50- (dollar signs are racist) plus 50% tip and we had a brave african american man in a dress as our waiter

I feel sorry for people who live in the inner city but the only reasonable solution is to stop sending them welfare and that would be wayciss

[Anonymous No.20265451]

>>20265267
Anything my mother in law cooks. Fucking awful.

[Anonymous No.20265453]

>>20265351
You will never be a heterosexual woman

[Anonymous No.20265478]

>>20265368
Yea yea we know you prefer soylent and HRT

[Anonymous No.20265488]

>>20265267
My best friend and his wife can both cook well but one time they invited me over and offered dinner and she made something I still remember being disgusting. Cold tortillas with hummus, unseasoned chicken breast and huge chunks of tomato wrapped like a burrito. Part of it is personal preference because I am not a tomato fan but it was truly hard for me to eat, the tomato juices poured out of it and made a huge mess with every bite which made the rest of the ingredients slip out of the soggy tortilla. I battled through one and said I was stuffed while they both ate at least 3 each. Now whenever they invite me over for the evening, unless I know what exactly is being made I have a backup meal plan at home just in case.

[Anonymous No.20265511]

>>20265453
Stop being jealous anon.

[Anonymous No.20265516]

>>20265447
Sounds like the ol' Seed n Feed is more your speed, Chuck. They have gummi bears there.

[Anonymous No.20265993]

>>20265368
damn 32 was a hard year

[Anonymous No.20266003]

>>20265342
No one's ever cooked for you?

[Anonymous No.20266090]

>>20265267
when i was a kid my parents made me eat liver and onions. the liver was extremely overcooked and bitter. i actually threw up on the plate mid-meal and they beat me and made me eat is as punishment. i dont talk to my parents any more.

[Anonymous No.20266727]

When I was in middle school, my neighbors invited me over for dinner. Those crazy fucks dumped a few cups of sugar in their spaghetti sauce. It was disgusting.
Later, for St Patty's day, they invited me over again for corned beef & cabbage. I thought there would be no way they could fuck that up, but guess what?
Cups of sugar dumped into the crockpot, ruined the whole damn thing.
Everything those people at was sickeningly sweet, it was bizarre. I started inviting them to my place for dinner instead. My dad seemed happy they were finally eating stuff that wasn't so full of sugar.

[Anonymous No.20266736]

>>20265267
anything my mom made

[Anonymous No.20266738]

I once broke up with a girl because she snapped the spaghetti before boiling and then served it with more carbs (garlic bread)

[Anonymous No.20266758]

>>20266003
No one's ever cooked a BAD meal for me. Around here, people take pride in what they do, and we're not incompetent citygoblins eating frozen goyslop.

[Anonymous No.20266776]

>>20265368
>Anyway I shouldn't have been surprised to find out it was literally (I am not making this up) marshmallows, jell-o, canned cherries like for a cocktail (except cheaper and shittier), canned orange wedges, miracle whip (a local synthetic version of whipped cream), and shredded coconuts. It wasn't as terrible as it sounded but I wouldn't call it good
Luv me some ambrosia
We use pineapple instead of orange though, and mayo instead of miracle whip (aka satans jizz). A classic holiday dish

[Anonymous No.20266781]

>>20265267
My gf's dad cooked everything for her family and didn't let anyone help so she has zero clue how to cook. I'm trying to help her learn but I'm starting from square one with her. She tried making fried rice with canned chicken and it came out as this horrid dough-like glob. She at least knew it was shit and I didn't feel obligated to actually eat it all.

[Anonymous No.20266818]

My mom's cooking, she just puts meat in the oven or throw it with random stuff in a stew and it always turns out super dry. Her mashed potato is so runny that it's more like a soup.
I am by far no picky eater at all, but damn she can't cook for shit.

[Anonymous No.20266826]

>>20265342
why are rural hillbillies so insecure about the fact that they grew up in a shit field

you guys are literally worse than black women

[Anonymous No.20266907]

My cousins throw birthday parties for their family and one time while I was there I had a thick chewy dry piece of meat that felt like I was chewing for 10 minutes

[Anonymous No.20266976]

>>20265267
I'm Irish, I don't lie to people thinking it is righteous.

[Anonymous No.20266993]

>>20266090
>Abuse my parents
>Has chinese cartoon

Amazing

[Anonymous No.20266996]

>>20266976
>I'm Irish

[Anonymous No.20267001]

Boiled chicken in a watery sauce
Yes I am white

[Anonymous No.20267004]

>>20267001
Rather be white and bland than be a corny frogposter AND minority.

[Anonymous No.20267010]

>>20265342
based countrychad making all the cityslickers seethe

[Anonymous No.20267014]

>>20267004
That's a lizard.

[Anonymous No.20267021]

>>20267014
stop deflecting Leroy

[Anonymous No.20267026]

>>20266090
My mom did that too, I didn't like the carrots she cooked and I puked them up. She made me eat them anyway. Took me until I was in my mid 20s to finally get over my hatred of carrots. She also used to make me sit next to the couch while she laid down and swat me over the head when I'd stop working on my homework. Then in my teenage years she stopped supervising me pretty much entirely. She called the cops on me when I was 13 because I threw a paint stirrer towards her.

I think I'm gonna go find a therapist.

[Anonymous No.20267031]

>>20267026
You need to just go find a firearm or sharp knife.

[Anonymous No.20267042]

>>20267031
Nah, I never wanted to kill myself. Had a period in my early 20s where I didn't really care if I lived or died, but that was the worst I got. Almost joined the military because I didn't know my ass from my face or something like that.

[Anonymous No.20267112]

>>20265368
State sanctioned violence against women is based

[Anonymous No.20267223]

>>20265267
One time a friend made this carbonara that was absolute dogshit. I ate it anyway. We're no longer friends, though.

[Anonymous No.20267238]

>>20265267
to this day this image still cracks me up. I love mike

[Anonymous No.20267249]

>>20267042
I want to kill you. I'd gladly do it if given the chance.

[Anonymous No.20267293]

>>20265267
My grandma wanted to take me out to eat. I like my grandma, so I said yes. My grandma took me to a negress-owned restaurant. One bite of their meatloaf made me nauseous. I finished it anyway and I threw the rest up when I got home. I never throw food up, my stomach is iron.

[Anonymous No.20267442]

>>20265368
hot damn should i be doing meth to jawsmax?

[Anonymous No.20267457]

>>20265267
Home made enchiladas. A friend's fake-mexican (she married a mexican)'s mom was supposedly amazing as a cook. I was asked what mexican dish I wanted when I was coming over to visit for the first time. Rather than say something like "tacos," I said "enchiladas." I don't even really know what enchiladas are, let alone ever order them at a restaurant. Yet I asked for them because they sounded exotic. Terrible, terrible meal. There was a long piece of hair in my buddy (who came over to the house with me)'s enchilada.

[Anonymous No.20267704]

>>20267001
What was wrong with it, too spicy for you?

[Anonymous No.20267763]

>>20265368
Grim. Us city slickers should never under any circumstances venture into that terrible place.

[Anonymous No.20267795]

>>20267457
white people enchiladas are something my aunt "makes". her recipes are all printed from the internet
>one can betty crocker this
>two cups bettery crocker that
>combine
>top with velveeta or sargento or blah blah blah
>bake for xx
It's just building layers of pre-made things. Enchiladas are the same for her, but they're pretty alright. At most, she'll cook up raw beef or chicken for a dish or boil her own box of pasta for her incredibl(y bad for you)e mac and cheese bake.

[Anonymous No.20267816]

>>20265368
Miracle Whip is synthetic mayo. You're thinking of cool whip.

I live in flyover because coasties and cityfags disgust me. But I do keep to my own when it comes to food because the locals have absolute shit taste.

[Anonymous No.20267823]

>>20266818
How do you make mashed potato runny, unless its insta mash and you put too much water..?

[Anonymous No.20267834]

My mom doesn't season anything because "you can season it at the table". She also overcooks all vegetables until they're mush. I've tried to explain to her that that's not how it's done but all she ever replies with is "this is how my mom taught me".

[Anonymous No.20267846]

>>20267834
Sorry momma. Momma's wrong.

[Anonymous No.20267856]

>>20265267
Absolute worst was years ago, my ex's father alcoholic bum made a lasagna cooked with no sauce, we all laughed about it but damn..
More recently, a sloppy wet pan steak while at a cabin with friends.

[Anonymous No.20267883]

>>20265267
Everything my wife makes. She underseasons and undercooks everything like the factory made white vag she is, and is a vegetarian so has no idea of what to do with meat.
Useless bitch. Awful pussy. But puts up with my demented jokes, likes making fun of trannies, and turns a blind eye to me fucking 20 year olds so a fun time overall.

[Anonymous No.20267902]

>>20265267
banged this chick once and made her spaghetti, sauce from scratch with some nice parm on top, she said it was okay
then she made me some spaghetti using prego, over cooked mushrroms and undercooked noodles
if the sex wasn't that good I would've left after the first bite

[Anonymous No.20269924]

>>20267795
from-scratcch enchiladas are legit, but i was watching food network and they had a recipe for enchiladas which was

>buy frozen taquitos
>put in baking dish
>bake a bit
>dump enchilada sauce on top
>bake more
>throw cheese on top
>bake a little more
>serve

It wasn't bad. Ungodly salty I mean sweet jesus, but I was moving cars around in the mud all day so I sweat it out.

[Anonymous No.20269974]

>>20265372
how much for a vial of ambrosia?

[Anonymous No.20271003]

>>20265447
you're mixing up like 12 separate stereotypes here and rendering your satire incomprehensible

[Anonymous No.20271017]

>>20265267
The food itself didn't matter. It was more the fact that I was guilted into eating a second dinner after explaining that I was already full because the host had put in so much effort just for me. There's a line beyond which eating more ruins the entire meal plus the day after. Now, I've learned to solve this problem by not having any friends.

[Anonymous No.20271085]

>>20265267
Went to a wedding, where the food was literally picnic-style "finger food" - cheese cubes, bologna, veggies and dip and shit like that. No open bar, either. I should get an academy award for saying that the food was great.

[Anonymous No.20271108]

>>20267834
>"this is how my mom taught me"
this is more important than you think, boomers are all fucking retards with trump derangement syndrome, but the ones who taught them (or lack thereof) to be such shitty people are the "silent" and "greatest" generations, a bunch of traumatized war vets

[Anonymous No.20271112]

>>20271108
Trump is literally threatening our democracy. It's not a derangement syndrome.

[Anonymous No.20271826]

>>20271108
I doubt anon's grandma was a war vet you dribbling retard.

[Anonymous No.20271854]

>>20271826
No, but she was beaten by one.

[Anonymous No.20273394]

>>20265368
Someone should edit that image to remove the top and bottom text, and change the filename to WALLED for shits and gigs.

[Anonymous No.20273417]

My mother, God bless her, is pretty much the white person blacks think about when they make jokes about not seasoning chicken.
Pepper was added by me post mortem.

[Anonymous No.20273476]

>>20265267
Alfredo spaghetti and meatballs with cabbage as the spaghetti. Wouldn't be too bad if the Alfredo wasn't cheese.
>>20265342
>Never purposely ate actual shit
Kwab
>>20267823
Too much water or eggs whites.

[Anonymous No.20273534]

>>20265267
>insert project a-ko meme

[Anonymous No.20273685]

>>20271112
Bait used to be believable

[Anonymous No.20274152]

>>20271854
You sound jealous gayboi.

[Anonymous No.20274576]

>>20266758
>No one's ever cooked a [...] meal for me
That's so sad, but I can totally understand why.