Intentionally bland, easy to eat, food.

[Anonymous No.20170526]

I have to cook for multiple people who can not handle anything spicy or even well seasoned food. The food needs to be fucking soft mush. I can't just make endless blended vegetable soup and porridge.

What the fuck do I cook for these people?

[Anonymous No.20170550]

Bro you have a whole continent of bland easy to eat food. Just pick any european country lmfao

[Anonymous No.20170559]

>>20170550
Jajajaja eu btfo

[Anonymous No.20170566]

>>20170526
sheperds pie

[Anonymous No.20170577]

Cod in parsley sauce

[Anonymous No.20170586]

Mac and cheese. Might want to pump the brakes on the nutmeg though.

[Anonymous No.20170615]

https://countrykitchenrestaurants.com/menu/breakfast/
Make everything on that menu.

[Anonymous No.20170641]

>>20170526
B.R.A.T diet:
Bananas
Rice
Applesauce
Toast

[Anonymous No.20170645]

>>20170526
po-tay-toes. boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew

[Anonymous No.20170653]

>>20170526
My momma got IBS recently. I cook her French Lentil Soup with beef morsels. Spiciest thing I add is Spanish smoked paprika and that's mostly for color. Honestly, just about any French cuisine is bland enough. Last I made her was a cream of broccoli soup.

Apart from that maybe a meatloaf made of ground beef, bread crumb, mirapoix.

Racism and memes aside, Caucasoid and Angloid cuisines are your best bet.

[Anonymous No.20170670]

>>20170526
>can’t handle well seasoned food
Can you elaborate a bit? Would something like polenta with a basic tomato sauce be too flavorful?

[Anonymous No.20170677]

>>20170670
Tomato is a no no too acidic.

[Anonymous No.20170740]

>>20170670
We are talking about very old people with surgeries to the bowels. Also, old white people that have never heard of polenta. I might try it, but will need to prepare for it to be too exotic.

Someone mentioned shepherds pie. I might try something similar, but these people hate lamb, because they have it in their mind that lamb is what they smelled some time in the 50s, and it was boiled shit, so they refuse it. I think something similar, but with ground chicken might work better. Ground chicken is much softer than beef or pork...

As >>20170677 said, tomatoes tend to be too acidic.

[Anonymous No.20170747]

>>20170677
Dang. I think the anons who suggested Anglo and caucasoid cuisine are right. There are a lot of simple Mediterranean dishes that you can bland up by omitting the aromatics, tomatoes, and spices.

[Anonymous No.20170752]

>>20170747
I think something with aubergines from greek cuisine might be a good idea, actually. Greek food isn't too offensive most of the time.

[Anonymous No.20170759]

So, yes, I am asking for white people food ideas. I just can't think of dishes suitable for people who will literally shit themselves to death at the sight of a bell pepper. I have gotten some ideas already, thanks.

[Anonymous No.20170768]

One thing I have been making fucking daily it feels like is chicken strips in cream and honey sauce. If I never see that shit again in my life, I am quite happy.

[Anonymous No.20170770]

>>20170759
How old?
Jello salads with canned fruit or applesauce in them
Ham salad (ham mayo tiny bit of yellow mustard)
Tapioca pudding
Egg salad
Dried prunes soaked in water (vile)
Bread pudding
t. worked in old folks home

[Anonymous No.20170772]

>>20170526
Seriously, OP this: >>20170615
t. used to cook at an old folk's home

[Anonymous No.20170783]

>>20170770
Old enough that their dating app of choice is a carbon dating lab.

Ham salad might be doable. I have access to some good quality ham for fairly cheap.

Bread pudding will likely be a hit too, haven't made it in years.

These people eat a lot of sugar already, tho. If you think kids eat a lot of sugar, go look at an old person's diet.

[Anonymous No.20170785]

>>20170526
Buy them McDonald's

[Anonymous No.20170787]

Got a RoboCoup?
Get one.
Soft cookies
Pancakes
Grits
Bisque
Cream of Soups
Mash ( carrots potato squash)
Candied Yams

[Anonymous No.20170788]

Cream cheese shit, can also add to jello salads.

[Anonymous No.20170791]

>>20170526
mashed potatoes
or
rice
or
noodles

[Anonymous No.20170798]

Fucking Peanut butter and jelly or fluff.
Goddamn i hate making those. I would rather make deviled eggs.

[Anonymous No.20170803]

>>20170798
Can't feed peanut butter to people with dentures. It would likely glue their mouths shut...

... now that I think about it. Might not be a bad idea.

[Anonymous No.20170804]

>>20170740
>have never heard of polenta
Call it grits. Hell, just make grits, that's bland.

[Anonymous No.20170816]

>>20170804
I am going to test it out on them, but they are not from a corn eating country. It's much less familiar to them than barley, which is something I add I include to limit the endless mashed potatoes.

[Anonymous No.20170818]

>>20170526
oatmeal

[Anonymous No.20170819]

>>20170803
jello

[Anonymous No.20170830]

>>20170550
Europeans eat far more spices than Americans, they just don't add as much fat and sugar as possible.

[Anonymous No.20170840]

>>20170830
Eh, I wouldn't stand by that. Especially once you get west of the Colonial states and the Midwest.

[Anonymous No.20170852]

>>20170840
I get it, maybe 3 in 100 places in the US will have some seasoning (beside the extra fat and sugar), so this should imply Americans in general eat bland food.

But if we look at typical American food, they are almost always heavy on sugars and fat, but lacking of any "unusual" taste.

[Anonymous No.20170854]

>>20170852
I forgot to add, when a recipe gets Americanized, usually any "unusual" flavor is remove, and the typical American duo is added in their place.

Just look at actual Chinese food (any cuisine) and Chinese food in the US.

[Anonymous No.20170880]

And another thread has become a shitfest about european vs american shit.

[Anonymous No.20170911]

You probably can pressure cook chicken, pork and beef items to death to soften them up, and then just serve them as is, no sauce or anything. Pulled chicken, pulled pork, and pulled/chopped beef. You can add bbq flavors, but if you are avoiding acids it might be better to skip it or use sparing amounts. How bad are they with ketchup? If they can't even do ketchup, bbq sauce is out of the question.

[Anonymous No.20170913]

>>20170852
I'm actually French living in the US, American food can be a lot more complex than European food, because European food more often relies on special ingredients and high quality ingredients rather than American food, which typically uses less quality base ingredients or cheap and widely-produced foods that require more spices and seasoning
I've had chili con carne in France and Spain and both were simpler than a half-decent chuckwagon chili made in a typical American home kitchen
Also the wide variety of cultures mixing with each other in the US means that even basic grocery stores will have a wider variety of different foods where European stores will have fewer foods but more brands of the same thing
I can go to my local Safeway and get camembert, kimchee, fresh soba noodles, a whole thing of ancho peppers...
Sure there are only two or three brands of camembert at a time not like in France and if I want the really good stuff I have to go to a specialty store but overall the variety of foods in an American grocery store is going to be way bigger than at a Carrefour
I was given a choice in choosing which country to live in
I picked the US

[Anonymous No.20170918]

>>20170913
>American food is complex
Yes, industrial food is insanely complex.

But we are talking about spiciness, not ingredient processing.

[Anonymous No.20170954]

>>20170918
I am talking about home cooked foods not industrial produced foods and American cooking uses more seasonings than a lot of homestyle European foods
Not all of it, some of it is just as simple and universal
And like I said, in the Midwest and Colonial states food is much more Old World but with native ingredients
There are still plenty of places where people still speak French, German, Swedish, Czech, and Spanish as a primary language
And Americans go nuts for spiciness. Flat out. Spicy foods are some of the most popular foods today, and the hottest peppers are cultivated in the US

[Anonymous No.20170959]

>>20170954
>And Americans go nuts for spiciness. Flat out. Spicy foods are some of the most popular foods today,
I guess what we understand by spicy is different, I mean stuff that add flavor (spices) like paprika or dill, or peppers with taste... no pumping lots of industrial pepper to make it bites.

[Anonymous No.20170979]

>>20170959
We add plenty of non-spicy spices like paprika, garlic, onion, salt, jalapeno, etc, etc.

[Anonymous No.20170984]

>>20170979
Maybe it's a regional, but I cannot remember ever seeing a case of this when I lived in the US.

[Anonymous No.20170998]

>>20170984
Where in the US did you live? This country is literally bigger than all of Europe including the UK and with a population to match. From coast to coast there's tons of variety in cuisine.

[Anonymous No.20171019]

>>20170959
That's exactly what I meant when I said
>American cooking uses more seasonings
When all the ground beef tastes the same people get creative with what they add to it to make meatballs
Eh, that's kind of a bad example since different kinds of ground beef is actually one of the strengths of American stores but you get the point
Just look at one of the most American meats there is: corned beef
>ingredients beef, salt, brown sugar, yellow mustard, black mustard, dill, bay leaf, ginger, allspice, black pepper, green pepper, cloves, star anise, coriander, nutmeg, anise seed, cinnamon, juniper, mace, red pepper, cardamom, ground ginger, fennel, celery seed, sodium nitrite

[Anonymous No.20171024]

>>20170998
>Where in the US did you live?
North West coast and deep south.

>This country is literally bigger than all of Europe including the UK and with a population to match.
So is Brazil, what is your point?

[Anonymous No.20171027]

>>20171019
Are you sure this a home recipe, and not something industry produces?

[Anonymous No.20171035]

>>20171027
I make my own corned beef and hams when I can
US regulations actually restrict the use of sodium nitrite well below what's allowed in France and the ham in particular suffers for it

[Anonymous No.20171041]

>>20171024
>no spices in the PNW
I guess I could see that depending on exactly where you are.
>no spices in the deep south
No fucking way, I just can't believe that.

[Anonymous No.20171050]

>>20171035
Also, it's pretty unfair to compare corned beef with regular dishes, instead of similar stuff like salami or pastrami.

[Anonymous No.20171052]

>>20171041
>No fucking way, I just can't believe that.
I guess it's all relative, like the tale of the frog in the well who believe it's the largest water body ever.

[Anonymous No.20171072]

Make chinese porridge
Just boil some rice, add stock cubes and oil
Then add some chicken breast in it until it's cooked and serve

[Anonymous No.20171086]

>>20171050
Well, no it's not, considering corned beef is wholly American while pastrami and salami are old-world
Yes I know corning is an ancient method of preservation from England and is probably Germanic or Scandinavian (possibly Turkic) in origin but corned beef brisket as we consume it today is American and it uses a shitload of herbs and spices
I mean, just look at one of the most popular franchises today, KFC
>11 herbs and spices
Spices come from the triangle trade or from India; Americans have spices and use the fuck out of them

[Anonymous No.20171094]

>>20171086
>Yes I know corning is an ancient method of preservation from England and is probably Germanic or Scandinavian (possibly Turkic) in origin but
It's an extremely common dish, and many countries have local variations of it, the US is one of these, not the only one.

>Spices come from the triangle trade or from India; Americans have spices and use the fuck out of them
You know that like, most of mankind also do this... this is not something "only Americans can do", right?

But my main point stands, very few Americans do something as you do, and industrial food has become US cuisine, even if it once was not like this.

[Anonymous No.20171098]

>>20170550
As a Belgian I feel personally attacked yet I can't really find fault with it.

[Anonymous No.20171126]

>>20170526
Kraft mac and cheese and mix in some kind of protein. Beef, pork, chicken, fish, whatever, even fucking sliced hotdogs. You could swap the mac and cheese out for grits/polenta is it gets boring.

>>20171072
Congee is delicious.

[Anonymous No.20171133]

>>20170526
>mashed potatoes and gravy
>lentil soup
>garbanzo bean soup with crushed garbanzos
>split pea soup
>ice cream for the fat
>potato soup
>baked sweet potato
>applesauce
>sweet bread pudding
>corn pudding
>jello
>tapioca
>congee
>sweet rice pudding
>chipped beef (not over toast, as is)
>fish in white sauce (a lot of fish in sauce recipes would probably work)

[Anonymous No.20171146]

>>20170526
Fuck picky eaters, let them starve. The world will be better for their passing.

[Anonymous No.20171149]

>>20170526
Liver pate

[Anonymous No.20171157]

>>20170653
Get yo momma on da car-nee-vore diet A-S-A-P. She need'a heel ho'self. Fr.

[Anonymous No.20171201]

>>20171094
I know I'm an outlier but I take a lot of inspiration from other American recipes and they can be quite involved
We have a third of a continent here, with all of its original foods and a bunch of foreign influences, and because of that, food can be very complex
Even if you stick with foods from the 18th century there's a tremendous amount of culture mixing, in addition to cultural isolation that didn't happen in Europe and other parts of the world, the geography allowed for Italians, Spanish, French, Indian, English, Germans, etc. to maintain their cultural idiosyncrasies in ways that didn't exist in Europe and elsewhere
Even some Asian traditions out of China and Japanese islanders exist in the US where they don't in their home countries
It's a huge mistake to make generalizations about food culture in the US because it varies a lot even within a single state, even cities have different influences
I'm not one to say that all Indian (dot not feather) food is the same across India because I mostly only have exposure to Punjabi cuisine
That's like saying all American food is Tex-Mex
It doesn't work

[Anonymous No.20171523]

>>20171201
>We have a third of a continent here, with all of its original foods and a bunch of foreign influences, and because of that, food can be very complex
You have a very nasty tendency to think everything about your country is unique and like no other.

>It's a huge mistake to make generalizations about food culture in the US because...
A few exceptions and local customs do exist, but it's absolutely fine to generalize things that most of the population do. Unfortunately today most Americans mostly consume industrial food, to the point it became what we can call American cuisine.

[Anonymous No.20171887]

>>20171523
I’m French you fucking pajeet

[Anonymous No.20171911]

>>20170550
Escargot

[Anonymous No.20172014]

>>20170526
arsenic and mercury soup

[Anonymous No.20172073]

>>20170740
>ground chicken might work better. Ground chicken is much softer than beef or pork...
Ground beef makes more sense for cottage pie, and it'll get extremely soft if you let it slowly cook for a couple hours. Is this a job or are you looking after family? If the latter you might consider making tadkas for your own portion, it'll turn even the blandest mush into something interesting.

[Anonymous No.20172106]

>>20172014
based immortality-granter

[Anonymous No.20172254]

>>20170550
Because strong blue cheese, tripe soup and kidneys are every manchild's favorite food

[Anonymous No.20172283]

>>20172254
Bro... you are replying to Americans. Do you think they could even point to Europe on a map?

[Anonymous No.20172292]

>>20170526
Either you’re cooking for the elderly or a group of autistic people and as one myself good luck trying to get any of us in the same room at once!

[Anonymous No.20172298]

>>20170566
Had that for my dad’s 70th. It’s actually fucking great.

[Anonymous No.20172303]

>>20172283
American here. Literally could do that in 6th grade with zero assistance. Even remembered a lot of capital cities. I’m 41 so some of the information is lost but yeah.

[Anonymous No.20172495]

>>20172303
That's impressive, did you teach yourself?

[Anonymous No.20172593]

>>20172495
America Derangement Syndrome strikes again.
Sad, many such cases.

[Anonymous No.20172717]

>>20170913
>I've had chili con carne in France and Spain and both were simpler than a half-decent chuckwagon chili made in a typical American home kitchen
probably because the chillies requires to make a good chilli are practically non-existent in europe

[Anonymous No.20172725]

>>20171019
>Just look at one of the most American meats there is: corned beef
american? its not american

[Anonymous No.20173274]

>>20172717
That was part of it, although they have spicy chilies the flavors are different
They also didn't use cumin, dried peppers, or flour/masa/cornmeal, or if they did, so little as to not make any impact
They used fresh chilis and were not stewed very long, maybe 45 mins to an hour
One of them had baby corn in it
They were like the telephone game of chilis

[Anonymous No.20173393]

>>20170526
>What the fuck do I cook for these people?
Casserole