/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.20161517]

>give gf a recipe to make dinner
>She still manages to fuck it up somehow

Anyone else the only decent cook in their household? How some people manage to not be able to read a recipe astounds me

[Anonymous No.20161519]

im not a scientist but if you hand me the compounds of mdma im not gonna be able to replicate it

[Anonymous No.20161524]

>only cook in the family is grandma
>granpda dies
>she instantly develops depression and shows signs of dementia
>won't cook anymore

[Anonymous No.20161539]

>>20161517
all women are simply worthless whores, there are no modern women who can cook as well as us as white men of conservative values, they are too brain-dead only concerned with Chad cock and scrolling instagram and tiktok for instant gratification, they don't even go to church and have had up to 50 sex-partners before they turn 17 teen, and yet they still complain about being oppressed meanwhile there is no way I could ever get a woman to have with me because I get rejected by literally anyone. Thankfully I don't give a shit anymore after realizing that all women are simply retarded babies without a big brain of internal life and inner beauty like me, so I'm happy to not fall for normie ideology by ensuring I get STDs from degenerate promiscuious disgusting modern whore women.
I kinda feel sorry for you up, imagine being so utterly cucked by a woman that can't even cook. What else is there to gain from a woman? I hope she cleans the house and offers her asshole and pussy and mouth to you anytime you ask, because otherwise why would anyone want to be around such filth.

[Anonymous No.20161553]

>>20161519
My brother in Christ, this isn't chemistry it's mixing shit in a bowl and putting it in an oven. It was a casserole and she didn't read the directions and added like a cup of bread crumbs and mixed it into a casserole because she "thought the seasonings were mixed in because there were green bits in the breadcrumbs" instead of adding them on top. Dinner was a bunch of pasty undercooked potatoes and ham because this bitch can't read and will cry if I don't eat it
>>20161524
Sorry to hear about your grandparents, anon

[Anonymous No.20161583]

>>20161539
this but unironically

[Anonymous No.20161606]

>>20161517
Does she give really good head or something? Why are you bragging about dating a retard?

[Anonymous No.20161669]

While I understand your frustration, I find it hard to believe that a casserole, aka layered sloppa, ordered incorrectly would somehow be worst than correctly layered sloppa. If the worst thing about it was undercooked potatoes and a sodden top, any self proclaimed decent cook would solve that with zero drama by putting it back in the oven for ten minutes.

[Anonymous No.20161676]

In my experience it took a while for me to learn how to follow recipes

[Anonymous No.20161677]

>>20161517
Why did you trust a girl in your kitchen in the first place?

[Anonymous No.20161691]

>>20161677
xD

[Anonymous No.20161723]

>>20161606
As a matter of fact, she gives amazing head. She's actually getting a lot better at cooking but this was an example of her getting a retard, yes.
>>20161669
She added the better part of a can of breadcrumbs that soaked up all the liquid that would have been absorbed by the potatoes.
>>20161677
Well, she lives there so it's hard to keep her out, but point taken.

Update: with all the extra bread crumbs the dish overflowed and spilled onto the bottom of the oven and filled the apartment with smoke. Fire alarm went off, dogs losing their shit. Pizza was ordered.

[Anonymous No.20161732]

>>20161723
hope you cheat on her. what a worthless whore. Glad I'm not you, what a pathetic cuck you are to live with a literal toddler who can't even wipe her own ass properly. All for a crumb of pussy. fucking loser

[Anonymous No.20161746]

>>20161553
>this isn't chemistry
/ck/ooklet detected. It literally is chemistry.

[Anonymous No.20161748]

>>20161517
Recipes can't save poor technique.
My mother is afraid of high heat on the stove. So inevitably any meat dish she makes will lack that deep roasty flavor you get from well-browned meat. Even if I write her a recipe.
Or for reducing a sauce, unless you manage to give a strict volumetric measurement for how much will be left at the end of reduction (basically impossible), the cook is going to have to know when to stop. Again, my mother will leave a sauce too thin and lacking in that concentration of flavor.

Recipes are good for finding new and interesting ideas, but they aren't instructional on their own.

[Anonymous No.20161810]

>>20161553
I didn't realize this until I was married but women don't actually measure anything at all. if it says a teaspoon of pepper, they will just shake pepper into it until they think it's right. same goes for measuring shelves or making sure things are level or everything. it's all just eyeballing and assumption so nothing is ever right

[Anonymous No.20161819]

>>20161723
Well, sounds like you worked the situation out. For what it's worth, it's easy to forget how opaque recipes are to someone that doesn't already know how to cook. Try to understand a knitting pattern uninitiated if you don't believe me. In the spirit of this place, I'll continue to be pedantic:
>liquid that would have been absorbed by the potatoes.
Absorbing liquid is not how potatoes cook, as demonstrated by the fact that you can bake a completely dry whole potato to completion.

[Anonymous No.20161825]

>>20161553
>this isn't chemistry
you can't cook properly either

[Anonymous No.20161831]

>>20161517
>>give gf
>gf
>>>/reddit/

[Anonymous No.20161857]

>>20161819
Are you actually trying to say potatoes don't absorb liquid? lmao

[Anonymous No.20161879]

>>20161857
Unless you're cooking some desperately old potatoes, or dehydrated starch, they're not cooked by absorbing water, no.

[Anonymous No.20162482]

>>20161723
Pizza cat looks hungry, it might be imagining stalking little birds.

[Anonymous No.20162622]

>>20161524
>grandma was so defeated and depressed after grandpa died she didn't have the energy to make a pot of soup for her grandkids. our favorite soup. i know how to make it because she taught me, but it always tastes better when grandma made it. miss them.

[Anonymous No.20163452]

>>20161810
That is how seasoning works.
You're not meant to autistically measure out 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper, you're supposed to eyeball it and taste it as you go to get a feel for what is 'right'.

[Anonymous No.20163455]

>>20161517
my gf is astounded by how well i make rice. i literally follow the directions. she's basically worthless at cooking.

[Anonymous No.20163575]

>>20163455
The reason modern feel entitled to a rich guy is because they can’t cook and admitting that is below them. They’d rather get takeout and Starbucks everyday.

[Anonymous No.20163604]

my gf is the baker/pasta maker/dishwasher in the household, I do the rest of cooking

[Anonymous No.20163618]

>>20163452
>You're not meant to autistically measure out 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper
>following a recipe is autism
projection

[Anonymous No.20163628]

>>20163618
Yes following a recipe to the micro level and having a hand flapping mental breakdown if anything strays from it as you do is in fact crippling autism

[Anonymous No.20163643]

It's not about cooking but just about the fact this person doesn't have any practical skills whatsoever. God forbid if you ever have some real trouble at your house.
Some people are like this.

[Anonymous No.20163662]

>>20161677
I tell her "a womans place is in the kitchen" she gets mad and storms out. Presto! I can unfuck whatever mess she had begun or make something in peace.
WARNING: Do not do too often, she'll catch on.

[Anonymous No.20163680]

>>20161553
You have to be patient anon. She is a retard that didn't learn the skills she should have when she was younger. Tell her to follow the recipe EXACTLY the first couple of times.