/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.20135190]

My farts stink and I'm gassy. Yesterday I ate 4 eggs, pulled pork, potato chips, frozen pizza, wendies baconador+fries+ diet root beer. Today I had pulled pork+chips, and a ton of broccoli and carrots

Also I have had 20g of creatine in the last 2 days. Who is the culprit?

[Anonymous No.20135193]

>diet root beer
kek what's the point fatty

[Anonymous No.20135195]

>>20135190
Wendy's.

[Anonymous No.20135205]

>>20135193
They include a drink in the combo. My farts smell like spicy onions

[Anonymous No.20135217]

>>20135190
>plarrrrrrrp

[Anonymous No.20135270]

>>20135190
>I can't see my pecker

[Anonymous No.20135900]

>>20135190
>eat like shit
>digestive tract raped by poor choices
All of it retard. Would it kill you to drink some kefir once a week or eat something with fiber? Why bother eating creatine if you're not even going to be fucked to learn anything about nutrition?

[Anonymous No.20135907]

>>20135190
>My farts stink and I'm gassy
that's literally only hot if you're a cute woman. Since you're a fat disgusting incel, please don't share such things in the future

[Anonymous No.20135923]

Update: poopie slimy this morning after my coffee. Time for an hour on the elitipical

Please note: anybody you see wearing a hoodie like this is pooping stinky

[Anonymous No.20135931]

>>20135190
your dad is for blowing his load into your stupid moms vaginahole instead of a tube sock

[Anonymous No.20135932]

Sorry to hear you have a stinky poop butthole that emits toxic ass emissions.

[Anonymous No.20136619]

>>20135190
oh yeah. that’ll build a good brap. brapology. real good poopin. honk out a fuckin dirt snake

[Anonymous No.20138347]

>>20135190
gross. nasty.
keep your american humor of shit and piss and farting to yourself.

[Anonymous No.20138536]

>>20138347
Anon I have been eating real food for two days now and I just pooped hot slime out of my ass and it burns. It burns because I did an hour of cardio in sweatpants so the sweat didn't dry and it got hot in there and my asshole chaffed bad. It was hurting by 40 minutes and I completed the hour. It burned from the slimy diarrhea combined with a chaffed asshole. Now I'm laying down with my butt cheeks pulled apart and a fan on to keep it cool. How could this happen? I ate broccoli and rice and carrots yesterday and sweet potatoes and eggs and potatoes and pork chops today. I drank plenty of water. I think it's the creatine.

[Anonymous No.20138579]

lol

[Anonymous No.20138898]

>>20135190
A lot of that shit is just toxic for your digestive system bro

[Anonymous No.20139161]

>>20138898
The potato chips?

[Anonymous No.20139275]

Good morning sirs! More loose stool this morning but better than yesterday. I need to coat my taint in vasoline because it still hurts from the chaffing.

[Anonymous No.20139349]

>>20139275
Get a shower and clean well along your ass crack, let it dry completely, you could even powder it. Mix maalox in with diaper cream and use that as a thin patina to your booty. You need to change underwear and let yourself dry off after you've worked out like that and had that much sweat, if not fully shower.
You might have just temporarily eaten something that the bacteria in your digestive system didn't appreciate, or it was a combo of any number of things.
Is that pic what's for breakfast?

[Anonymous No.20139475]

>>20139349
No, I'll be eating sweet potato hash with eggs and ham. Still going to go do weights for leg day. I used gold bond before the cardio. I had a little chaffing the other day too. I do not have maalox or diaper cream. I have gold bond and vasoline as well as regular lotion. I believe it is all the creatine causing the shits.

[Anonymous No.20139534]

>>20135190
>Who is the culprit?
Based on that diet, probably colon cancer

[Anonymous No.20139586]

>>20139475
Anon, you should do the following:
- Make stew from meat, broth, green beans, carrots onions, peas, corn, yellow potatoes and black olives. Don't forget salt, Rosemary, garlic and cayenne. This will give you all the poops you could ever take, but they'll be healthy ones. Just brace yourself
- Make pickles from:
Cukes
1 cup distilled vinegar
1 cup distilled water
2 cloves garlic
1 teaspoon black peppercorns
2 or 3 sprigs of dill

Put the cukes and the solution in a jar in the refrigerator and eat them at random points. They'll give your body boosts of fiber when needed. You need to have regular fiber rather than just doing spring cleaning randomly, which is what's causing the poopsplosions

[Anonymous No.20139645]

>>20139586
I've been meaning to try making pickles at home and experiment. Black olives and green beans in a stew is a very weird move though.

[Anonymous No.20139670]

>>20135190
>Who is the culprit
Have you looked in a mirror recently?

[Anonymous No.20139709]

>>20139645
grean beans can work though but I'm with you on the black olives

[Anonymous No.20139812]

>>20139645
Tbh I mostly just use packs of frozen veggies(they come with green beans) and I happen to really like black olives. The high doses of protein and fiber though really will make you shit things you never ate, but in a good way instead of the diarrhea way.

Do you want a better guide to pickle making? I can do a thread after work, maybe make dick jokes because it involves cucumbers

[Anonymous No.20139853]

>>20139812
I don't really care about trying to eat fiber. I just eat vegetables and red meat as much as possible. I usually eat potatoes and rice and avoid breads, pastas, and beans. If I don't eat enough beef or lamb I'll start craving it and then want to go get a double burger though. I really don't buy into fiber being a necessary micro. If you want to take a huge shit just swallow 1 cup of olive oil and drink an espresso an hour later and prepare to shit. Since beef has gone up I don't get even close to enough steak to sustain me.